Absurd Truth: Don't Tread On Middle Schoolers Pt. 2

As students begin heading back to school, do you think they'll be learning about the founding principles that made America the freest and most prosperous nation in history? Will they learn that our unalienable rights are God-given and not granted by government?

Will they be given a full and honest account of our nation's history? The answer to all of these questions is yes for students at Hillsdale College. In addition to teaching college students, Hillsdale has extended its teaching to K-12 students and lifelong learners like you. If you're not doing so already, one of the best ways to start learning from the folks at Hillsdale is through Imprimis, Hillsdale's free digest of liberty. You can sign up for free at the special website for a limited time at dana4forhillsdale.com and you can look forward to Imprimis each month. It's interesting, useful, and free and it's one of the best and smartest in conservative constitutionalist thought. Find out more about Hillsdale College and sign up for Imprimis at dana4forhillsdale.com. That's dana4hillsdale.com. Dana Lashes of Surd Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec.

It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. So you all know in Florida, obviously they're dealing with storm surges and hurricanes and all kinds of stuff, but one CNN meteorologist had his live shot entertainingly interrupted by some residents who were literally sailing past him on a camouflage duck.

Here's the video. So uh we're going to step away from this uh this the the the seriousness of this storm for just one second. You gotta bear with me because this is something you don't see every day.

Guys guys what are you doing? Literally we are this is a very new way to beat rush hour traffic on Bayshore Boulevard in Tampa. These guys are kayaking down this major thoroughfare Tampa over my shoulder here. I mean look at that. I don't want to minimize the serious nature of this storm, but this is what people are dealing with. Because Florida keeps its sense of humor, that's why. I mean I love that they they're I mean if if it's not like we're gonna ride it out, then you got a camouflage duck. I love it though. That's so great.

And I immediately uh was like where can I find that on Amazon and uh because I just feel like that's something that you need. You know everybody should have a camera. Did it have sunglasses on? The duck? What was that on its eyes?

Or was it like a sleeping mask? That was the other thing. And then I couldn't tell at first I thought the other dude had a pirate hat, but it was just like a sun hat which is hysterical also.

All right, so next up. A Florida man painted white told deputies that he is the joker while threatening them with a crowbar. Now I just got to say painted white is I don't know I'm look I am so confused as to what this guy was trying to do.

So this is Santa Rosa County. A suspicious person with a crowbar was at the Best Western on Sunday and they confronted a man named Anthony Moreno. He was covered with white paint on his head face and body and he had a crowbar in his hands and I don't know what he's doing because it looks like he was very particular in how he applied it to his hair.

I don't know it was just weird. The deputies offered him a food some food and a drink in exchange for the crowbar but he met them with quote war threats and talk about the government and that this was the last encounter. Totally covered with white paint and Moreno told officers that he was the joker that's why he's in the paint you know the joker. They said he was this is where it even gets crazier completely covered in white paint even under his clothes. So he painted himself white and then put his clothes on.

So they persuaded him to drop the crowbar and he's being held now on three counts of aggravated assault on a law enforcement officer and he's being held in the Santa Rosa County jail in fifteen thousand dollar bond. Okay all right so that he's dedicated. White privilege. Oh man you just had to do that didn't you?

You just had to do it you did you did probably I mean I would imagine you know you can I'm sure. Let's see there was another Florida man that was riding his bicycle around Tampa Bay in the middle of the storm. Please be safe. Another guy who who wore a screen mask to rob folks and then we got these guys. A Florida man and his accomplice they tried to buy car parts with fake credit cards. They got arrested finally. Well if you're I'm not telling you to commit crimes but if you're going to commit a crime you can't just like immediately go and buy twenty two thousand dollars worth of auto parts with fraudulent cards.

Like I mean you do a big ticket thing like that and that's going to immediately set off alarm bells right? You I mean both of them were from Orlando. 19 year old Ernest Ashlett and 30 year old Sebastian Mambas they were caught trying to buy all of these auto parts and they only went they apparently only went to like a couple of different places too. Just dumb just dumb. You've heard me rave about the Kel-Tec KSG shotgun for a long time and the fact is I cannot say enough good things about it. I mean the KSG is the one that started it all. Made ordinary shotguns obsolete and still reign supreme but the big reason I keep raving about it is I'm also the proud owner of one at least and trust me I really put the KSG to the test before adding it to my collection. It's perfect for home defense or tactical situations and this 12 gauge is a reliable go-to that's easy to handle for everyone. The KSG shotgun is the first 12 gauge pump action shotgun chambered for three inch shells and with dual tube magazines offers a capacity of 12 plus one. It's downward shell ejection makes the KSG truly ambidextrous and eject shells away from your face. It's compact, lightweight and easy to maneuver and control. Learn more about the KSG shotgun at Kel-TecWeapons.com and follow Kel-Tec on social media.

Visit Kel-TecWeapons.com that's K-E-L-T-E-C weapons.com. So the you guys remember this story about the kid the 12 year old in Colorado Springs who had a flag patch a Gadsden flag patch on his backpack like literally a military authorized flag that was created as a warning to the Brits about what happens if you keep pushing us on our individual liberties and literally had nothing to do with slavery and you had some bonkers illiberal just absolutely bass aqwards teacher in Colorado Springs who was so ignorant and I think she should be fired. Any teacher who was sitting here trying to gaslight this kid into thinking that he's a racist because he had a military patch on his backpack on his backpack they ought to be fired. Can that broad now she's too damn dumb to teach actually like making an issue of him. So and even the Democrat governor weighed in and was like everybody knows the history of this flag except this stupid teacher who apparently got her teaching degree to crackerjacks box. Do they still do that?

I don't know. So he now gets to stay in school and he gets to keep his patch. Good on him though like he didn't stand he didn't stand down and his parents let him lead on it but they supported him every step of the way.

That's so cool. Now the school needs to be held accountable because you got teaching moments those are important for kids but I'm gonna tell you something you know what else is important for kids when adults mess up especially to this degree you need to hold them accountable. You don't let them get away with that stuff you hold them accountable so that kids see that even as adults when you mess up this bad and this was not I don't believe that this teacher's error was innocent I think she's an ideological bigot and she's too stupid to teach and this woman needs to be held accountable.

This this is don't don't don't don't misunderstand me this has nothing to do with vengeance. What this has to do with is making an example of a teacher like this so no other teacher gets this idea to abuse a kid over a politics and that's exactly what this is. This was abusive to this child because of this broad's politics and she should be made an example of. I and this is where the parents that now this is where the parents can muscle up a little bit more because they let this they let this sweet boy lead and that's good now mom and dad now it's time now it's shove time it was push time now it's shove time because this is this is insane you know how many I just I can't even imagine we had one teacher I don't want to give too many details but one of my sons had a class and he was drawing him and his friend were in this class and they were drawing you know pictures of of literally like soldiers fighting terrorists right and this one teacher and this was in a private Christian school that teacher is no longer there by the way because apparently that teacher had a lot of issues with a lot of other parents and this is kind of the final straw but that teacher was apparently so sensitive that she saw these two students you know drawing these soldiers I mean and that's literally what it was killing terrorists and of course what do soldiers use Kane? Guns guns yeah they use guns and you know I guess it could be because she was an ideological bigot she was like oh you have to go to the principal's office and my first response was I'm framing this damn thing and if you suspend him I'm gonna make you famous and I'm gonna take him to six flags so you know choose your fight so nothing came of it obviously and she didn't finish out the year at the school it was stupid it was it was dumb I cannot stand people like that if you're gonna go into education go to education this whole I'm gonna shape the child's mind that's the parent's job that's the parent's job now your job is in your particular discipline I gotta tell you I had a fantastic social study social studies teacher when I was a freshman in high school and she was super she was left she had a damn Clinton gore sticker on her chalkboard but she wasn't an ideological bigot she really loved her subject she's the reason I got into politics I always wonder if she rused the day you know but she was never an ideological bigot she was very I mean you knew what she I mean she had you know the Clinton gore sticker on her chalkboard and she was very you know you knew what she liked some of the parents I think took issue with it but she was she loved social studies she loved it she loved her subject matter and it came across in the way she taught like she was so energetic and so into the material she made learning so fun but again she was an illiberal and she wasn't a bigot she just taught to the subject and it wasn't she did not value her own perspective so much that she thought she had to use it as a lens through which to project everything and she respected each of her kids each of her students beliefs and abilities I don't know why teachers can't do that I don't know I don't expect people to be a blank slate for politics but what I do expect is that you love what you're doing more than you love your own ego as it relates to your political beliefs because a lot of this is just ego-felation if we're being very straightforward about it but she was a great teacher it was at uh it was at Secman junior high I'd say her name but I'm I've always been afraid to but but I sometimes I wonder I'm like man I wonder if she knows what I do and if she hates what because it's all because of you it's like that commercial from the 80s I learned it by watching you the latest data from the American Heart Association indicates that adults with fatty liver were 3.5 times more likely to have heart failure than those without and the American Liver Foundation says that 100 million Americans have fatty liver start taking care of your liver with liver health formula you throw everything at your liver cholesterol alcohol toxins Tylenol statins cigarettes you shouldn't and that's why so many people have a sluggish fatty liver that makes you gain weight and lose energy an all-natural supplement which contains 12 clinically proven botanicals that help recharge and protect your liver liver health formula is manufactured right here in the USA and approved by American doctors now when you try liver health formula you'll also get a free bottle of omega-3 to keep your heart healthy visit get liver help dot com slash dana and take advantage of this special offer that's get liver help dot com slash dana for decades your liver has helped you with over 500 key functions daily so take care of your liver with liver health formula and get a free bonus gift at get liver help dot com slash dana and now all of the news you would probably miss it's time for dana's quick five so the united states according to some study is experiencing a crisis of early death it's a recent study coming out of boston that talks about the dire state of public health in the united states uh compared to others the us death rate far outpaces america's peers some researchers say that they're experiencing a crisis of early death etc etc they're talking about mortality rates and they get into i mean it gets into what i mean i think it has to do with the opioid epidemic i mean ultimately i think that's a huge fuel uh is the opioid epidemic and then they try to like get into health disparities with different demographics but ultimately it's it's drugs that's like what it is you know what it was exacerbated with the lockdown just it really was polluted air shortens human life spans more than tobaccos there's a totally obvious study that anyone could have written themselves published in the wall street journal today in duh they say indian and other south asian countries suffer biggest losses as china tries to reverse damage okay whatever real lies don't believe uh but they said that uh yeah polluted air as if you didn't know super dangerous i mean duh i mean you know that's where you get the error like would you get the air uh quality alerts thingies can yeah see yeah uh also there is it's called the most expensive trailer park home in the u.s it is a 2,150 square foot house it's 4.4 million dollars in the hamptons and it's 75 feet from the ocean it is nestled within the upscale montauk shores trailer park the property commands evaluation that rivals that of some of more opulent homes in the area two bedrooms two bathrooms and sitting just 75 feet from the atlantic ocean on the ditch plains surfing beach 4.4 million dollars it doesn't really even have a yard i mean it's just like a square that is 70 and it's not even frontline there's like not even really a legit sea view it's literally the second row away from the ocean for so it makes me think that the the trailers that are right there it is like the bougiest like trailer court i've ever seen in my life but the ones that are like i can't even imagine the ones that are right there on the shoreline what do you think that is this was foreign at 4.4 dude dude so yeah they i mean it is that's like actually more expensive than some of the homes in the area but it's that proximity to the coastline and apparently down the road there's like a little path that goes right to the beach but it doesn't have a yard per se it has a deck and you can kind of get a sea view but it's not even like right there on the coast it's just you know behind another house that's 4.4 million dollars that's just wild we got a lot more on the way don't go anywhere stick with us i don't really care about the russian stuff i'm gonna be honest with you when they're when they're talking about the warlord whose plane accidentally fell out of the window because i'm like oh russian thugs killing russian thugs okay so it's like a self-cleaning oven i don't know i mean it just i am i supposed to but i do think it's like days of our russia it this is more convoluted than what's the soap opera my grandma watched uh the days of our lives with the hourglass that damn stefano so this progosian guy who was supposed to have been in the plane that was shot out of the sky and it was conveniently captured from start to finish on video just you know by chance apparently now the word is that the word is that it was a doppelganger right and it wasn't him that's the story right it was a doppelganger and now he's wherever he is planning his revenge is that true i mean this legit is like a stefano thing in the town of salem i mean it's just sad it is they said that there's a lot of speculation whether he was in the aircraft there was some story where they were saying no it was all fake they were dummies in the aircraft and they were all headless i mean it just gets crazier the more i read i don't even know they said oh no he used he uses body doubles this is getting more and more uh this is getting crazier and crazier the story and so they said that moscow is acting to cover the circumstances i mean it's russia do you honestly think you're going to get a straight story here for real i wouldn't be surprised if he had 50 body doubles i wouldn't be surprised if he has never been seen in public because they're all body doubles i wouldn't be surprised if ledomir putin is just an animatronic pillow person and that's you know that's why he looks puffy i wouldn't be surprised at that either i mean i really don't care about any of this i'm just here for the entertainment value because if they're going to fight and kill each other okay go ahead like go ahead and have your go ahead and fight and have the kremlin fight itself go ahead i mean they're mercenary warlords did you think you were going to get what did you think you were going to get with that i thought it was going to be a nice mercenary warlord it's not really how that happens okay but yeah apparently they had uh they said that they in i mean the plane crashed in there i don't know if there was a dude on it or not they had this lady that was said to be his widow pictured looking sad at his grave he was sad at his grave and uh yeah very you know i mean if you wanted to play up your whole body double thing i think that's what you would do right i don't know i just is he gonna they have all these pictures of him with like fake beards and he was known to use these disguise have you seen the disguises that he was supposed to use because i can't take this seriously anymore so i saw they had it like the brady bunch all of his this guy with his disguises they're so bad they are so bad i mean the beards look so fake they look horrible i mean you you look at it and you're like this guy is fake he's this is a fake beard i don't i just can't imagine that this was at all serious but they said that the cemetery that he was in it's the most protected in the world and no one saw percocet's body at any point during the funeral okay i just think the guy using i mean this is some this is some banana republic stuff one's gonna throw it up there because it's ridiculous he's got one where he's got a black beard that he's got taped underneath his face going towards like and it looks so bad and then he's got a toupee on one and he's got a flock of seagulls hairstyle and then in another one he's got another fake black beard that's not even positioned right on his face and these hipster glasses like a barista would wear at a starbucks downtown and and that's a we're supposed to think that that's that is not convincing that is that's the big elaborate disc those are the elaborate disguises who was fooled the kremlin was fooled by this you could tell my gosh oh who is that i thought it was precaution apparently it is not because he's disappeared who is this guy with the hair nobody really you're this shocks you one looks like an alpaca chin strap dude right do you see the flock of seagulls haircut look at the hipster glasses do you said you've wanted soy milk yes i mean cali i don't i just find this whole thing funny stefano so i don't know they're still they're moscow's acting like they took him down apparently he's not he's plotting his revenge as the world turns really is something thanks for tuning in to today's edition of dana lashes 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