Absurd Truth: Dana's Coronation Recap

Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man.

It's time for you dancing in the median. You particularly would not want to get hit naked. Yeah.

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Kel-TecWeapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Jill Biden and her granddaughter attended the coronation over the weekend, which I didn't really watch. But I did see parts of it because I do like all the costumes. Well, not costumes. Sorry, like ceremonial, whatever. Guys, come on. American like through and through. Okay, it's a little. They so they had their new king. And I loved the chick who was in the lady. Sorry.

I'm not trying to say that as a way to be dismissive. But there was like a woman there's like handing out swords, I guess to like some of the lords and ladies. I don't know.

Like she was I who How do you get that job? You get to hand out the swords. It's like here's your sword.

Here's your sword. Everyone had this like this. I just want to know, like how many yards of material were used for all of this? Uniforms and they had like people were wearing the capes. Did you see the people in the like straight up look like some Harry Potter stuff happening? Like they had people with the capes and even the women. And the the all this garter and the robes and everything else. It was it was something else, wasn't it?

The regalia was insane. It was very interesting to watch. Now, here's what I thought was interesting too. They had this one actress and she's been in a number of things. She's like a very well respected actress, an older woman and she was I think talking to BBC. And she had said at one point, she had said that the the British family was how did she put it like they were exceptionally like incredibly white or something to that that extent. And I thought that was very interesting. And I thought that was a little weird because I mean, wouldn't the family was white? Like, haven't we kind of known this for a while?

I mean, they've been there like an old timey family. This woman and Jo Ando, who's on Bridgerton. She said she didn't mean to upset anyone, but she says that they were terribly white. The she was talking to Oh, sorry, ITB not BBC. And she had said in her comments.

Yes, yes, the as they got all on the balcony. Oh, yes, they're terribly white. But she came back and said she did not mean that as a way to is like some kind of diminishment or insult, which I don't then why say it? She's like, I didn't mean to upset anyone. Well, then why say it doesn't make any sense. Why say it then? You're that doesn't I mean, you see what you're you're shocked that the the white family is white. I don't know.

I just doesn't make any sense to me. But I was fascinated. Did you watch any of it? I didn't watch any like I only look for like the feathers and the I caught some short clips here and there.

But yeah, no, I did not get a chance to watch it. And then I have very practical observations. Like how heavy do you think that carriages? Right? Like the gold carriage? Yeah. Yeah.

How heavy do you think the crowns are? And then there was the one point where apparently they hold up a tent. And then he gets anointed with oil like actual oil. And then he just the whole thing is it's interesting.

I mean, I'm glad I'm so glad that we live in a republic and we don't do all that. You know, I get you know, I very much through and through. I just like the costume and the horses. Did the one guy that was the most impressive person this whole time was during the procession, I guess.

And there was a dude y'all. Anybody who does anything on horseback. Like if you shoot on horseback, you play an instrument on horseback. Every people horsemen and horsewomen know how tough that is. Especially if you make it look easy to like rubes like us, right? Like we don't I love horses and we'll hug them feed them apples and stuff.

Yay. But I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine doing some of this stuff. There was a dude who was leading the procession. And at first I was like, what is he doing with his arms?

Because he was just flailing his arms up and down one side and the other. He was wearing this. I don't know how to like a drum outfit where he had two drums on a horse, two drums on either side. And he had like a little thing for like music. And he's playing drums. I guess he's got to know what's coming up.

It had the little list. Like the little like it shot out from his waist and he had this thing I guess where he could see what what he was playing. He was riding this horse through the crowded streets of London, playing the drums with both hands keeping beat and literally steering the horse with only his legs. That seems like that's pretty impressive. Am I right horse people? That seems like that's kind of impressive, right? I mean, I just, I get scared if I watch somebody steer with their knee for half a second. I can't imagine being on a horse and then you got the drums.

You got to keep time because everyone's marching to your time, all the people behind you with their horses. And you got to keep that was the most impressive thing I saw. Where's that guy gets a medal? That guy and then the lady that gave out all the swords. That was really cool. That was but that you know, it's like I had very practical observations.

Of all of this. And then they one last thing that all the people I guess that were there in front of their big old balcony in the palace balcony or something like that. They every time people would come out to tidy up the balcony, the crowd would think I guess it's the time to cheer. So somebody would come out in the crowd will go. And they they'd sweep or something and someone else will come out to straighten the banners or the bunting.

Oh, it was a riot. I do appreciate that we have that there's, you know, a country in the world that has these very ancient traditions, right? I don't I don't discount that. I mean, I love that we're a republic. And I appreciate our American history.

And I can't even imagine I mean, every bit of my DNA rejects the idea of having a monarch over me. But I can appreciate the in this era of rotting modernity, that there are still some traditions that involve Harry Potter capes and giant feathers. And you know, riding with drums on a horse. I appreciate all and lady would give enough source can't forget her. I appreciate all this stuff, right?

I like that. Oh, one last quick thing. The Queen's daughter and the lady who's has the helmet with the feather that blocked out that balding ginger that sat behind her that guy. So she is see she seems hardcore. Like she's apparently plays a part in the military and she was out there. She didn't want to ride in a carriage.

Like everybody else. She was on horseback in the rain. This woman. That's hardcore. I like her. I think she might be my favorite. She might be my favorite one.

I like her a lot. But I do appreciate and I appreciate the the the that we have a country on this planet where you have that kind of pomp and circumstance and all of this stuff and people were praying publicly. Oh, shocking. There was public prayer. Imagine that public prayer. And all the roles and the costuming and all I mean, see what you will about this guy being a climate change dude, who's king over there now, but they, the roles were decidedly male and female. And, and there was a little bit of tradition, like I said, this rotting modernity that expects us to dwindle everyone down to this, you know, banal, however you want to put it, androgynous ridiculousness. It was nice to see. It was nice to see some of this stuff. Anyway, those are my observances about the coronation.

And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So in Pittsburgh, a homeless woman literally hit the wall.

This is from Pittsburgh, California. A homeless woman actually is now a millionaire because of a lottery ticket. She won a five. She won $5 million.

She bought one ticket, a scratchers ticket. She said that now she's going to get married, finish her associate degree, and she's going to buy a house and invest the rest of her money. Good for her. She's like, I'm gonna get I'm gonna get my get go get classes. She's gonna get my job. That's good for her. I like hearing like happy stories instead of I saw the story of one guy who won the lottery and he bought two mansions and a supercar and I'm like, dude, you're gonna be broke in a year.

You're gonna be so broke. Oh, well, you know, it's I hate that I hate seeing the I don't watch the Kentucky Derby, but they had a winner mage. The 149th Kentucky Derby. I just like the mint julep and the hats. I'm gonna be honest with you. And the horses are like giant dogs. They kind of scare me, but I love them. I have pictures. I'll show you what I look like riding a horse and it's hysterical. It's like a sitcom.

I just I just because they're so smart and I know they're smart. I don't know. Anyway, it's okay.

I'm getting I'm getting distracted. In Florida, they pass legislation the governor signed it to find credit card companies who track gun purchases. Actually, it's heading to DeSantis's desk. Senate Bill 214. This comes after the International Organization for Standardization had previously declared they were going to develop this new merchant category code. And they were going to try to distinguish the sale of firearms and ammunition. Understandably, this made a lot of people nervous because it is, I mean, it's like a defacto registry.

Yeah, I mean, in that, I mean, it makes sense that people were going to be you know, I was, you know, one of those individuals. So in Florida, which Texas would do it. They had the Florida Arms and Ammo Act, and it draws the line in the sand and says you cannot covertly track, monitor and report data on Floridians who are simply exercising their Second Amendment rights. So good for what me and Florida is getting. They're just like getting all these W's, man. All these wins. Racking up these wins. Whoo.

That's amazing. So this, let's see, latest ABC WAPO poll. It's a horror show for Joe Biden.

And George Stephanopoulos was actually visibly stunned on Sunday. He said that it was a brutal poll, and it shows people very concerned about this. Very concerned about Biden's age. And I will say this is also one of the first polls that show Trump actually competitive with Biden, where Biden's not just beating him. So that's a very, that's a very interesting poll. I haven't looked at the cross tabs, but they said 63% of the respondents say Biden isn't sharp enough to be president. Whoo, wait until you hear this next audio soundbite.

You're gonna agree even more. Stay with us. Right now, hate crimes are on the rise. Random acts of gun violence.

Women are under attack. Mr. President? I'll do one. The answer is yes, because that's why we can't let, we cannot let this election be one where the same man who was president four years ago becomes president again. What? That didn't make, so he was asked about the soul of America, basically. And that was his answer. Welcome back. Welcome back to the program. Daniel, last year with you. Oh, boy.

And then there was this, I can't forget this hit, audio soundbite one. He's just smarter than you. I mean, how dare you question him on this? Listen. Why would an 82 year old Joe Biden be the right person for the most important job in the world? Because I've acquired a hell of a lot of wisdom.

I know more than the vast majority of people. I'm more experienced than anybody's ever run for the office. And I think I've proven myself to be honorable as well as also effective.

Really? So remember, he just, he just said he's more honorable. Audio soundbite three, he's more honorable. And he should be trusted more because of this.

But then this. Well, my son's done nothing wrong. I trust him. I have faith in him and it impacts my presidency by making me feel proud of him.

Okay. And this is, you know, on the eve of potential of, you know, what's being speculated as an indictment coming, because they've had the investigation now since 2018, his tax, you know, whether or not he claimed all of his communist China income. And then of course, let's not forget the line on his 4473 when he bought his handgun while totally cracked out, according to his own book, same timeframe. So I, he says that he's done nothing wrong. I trust him. I trust no one that trusts Hunter.

What in the world? But trust Joe because he knows more than you. I bet he does on this.

I bet he does. Where'd you get all that money at, Joe? Where's that CCP money? I mean, I know he knows more about that CCP money than we do.

That's why Comer and all them want to get those documents. I'm just saying, just saying, of course, he knows more on that. I mean, at this point, I think he's an avatar just for the people who actually lead the country through him. He's not making decisions about the day to day operations of this country. He's not even involved in involved in negotiations over budget, which should be one of his I mean, literally, you have one job. And he's not doing that.

He's not even he's not involved in it. He's MIA is he when does he go back to Delaware? He thinks it's Memorial Day this weekend, as per the audio we played last segment. When does he when does he go back to Delaware? All right, today in stupidity, Cain, although I may have taken it from It'll be our secretary Alejandro Mayorkas on this one.

This is good. He says the border is not open. And the border has not been open. This is comedy in my we are building lawful pathways. And we are delivering consequences for those who do not use those meaningfully accessible pathways.

The message is very clear. We are coming with the relief that our laws provide to the individuals in need. The border is not open.

It has not been open. But yeah, it's not tell that to the how many crossings do we have just over the weekend? But my salute to our Border Patrol agents. Yeah, by the way, they're there. They're doing the Lord's work down there trying to just manage just manage keep them in your prayers because we're two days away today. Tomorrow will be one. And we'll be back with you behind the mic then. God bless. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana lashes absurd truth podcast. If you haven't already made sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.