Absurd Truth: Fat Bottomed Girls

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Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast, sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. Okay, so I need to know what's going on in Tampa Bay.

Do you see this headline, Cain? Five people in Tampa Bay were killed by flesh-eating bacteria as officials warned locals to not enter the sea with cuts or grazes on their skin. Yeah, there have been 26 reported infections of Vibrio vulnificus.

I actually think I said that right. In Florida, what was that? Vibrio vulnificus?

It's 26 so far this year. It's known to lurk in brackish seawater as it requires salt to live. Around one in five can die within a day or two of becoming ill when they catch it.

Two people in Hillsborough County and one each in Pasco Poke in Sarasota. So, don't go near no water that looks like it's still and brackish. You know what that means? If it looks like it's still and mosquito-y, don't go in that water. Stay away from it. God be damned. You've got gators and now you've got flesh-eating bacteria.

I mean, it's just the Australia of the United States. I'm telling you what. So, just be careful. And they say it's severe for people who have weakened immune systems. Like the regular beach, I think, is fine.

But going into some of those areas, you know, where it's just still and quiet. Let's see. A Florida woman was arrested. She spiked a dude's drink with raid. Man, that's... It didn't kill him on contact.

It was advertised. Well, then he's not a cockroach, that's for sure. But apparently, it was his girlfriend and the mother of his child that did it. He had two drinks and started feeling sick. She spiked both of them with roach, the raid, the roach spray. It took him an hour to collect himself and call police. So she was, yeah, she was... She has prior convictions, apparently.

Two, four weapons. And her prior weapon of choice was a knife. By the way, she was running from police and they have body camera chasing her with a K-9.

That's interesting. A Florida man was arrested for $20 million worth of nonexistent N95 masks. The other question is that there was $20 million spent on it. A Rockledge man was arrested for allegedly offering to fraudulently sell a Canadian health care company more than $20 million N95s at the height of the pandemic. Seventy-nine-year-old Esmeralda Enrique was arrested on one count of organized fraud. It was a $20 million deal. He was doing business as Enrique Technologies and Trading LLC when he entered the deal. And so he actually had money wired to him.

He was booked in Brevard County Jail on $10,000 bond. Masks, bacteria, and raid. Oh my. You've heard me rave about the Kel-Tec KSG shotgun for a long time and the fact is I cannot say enough good things about it. I mean the KSG is the one that started it all. Made ordinary shotguns obsolete and still reign supreme. But the big reason I keep raving about it is I'm also the proud owner of one at least. And trust me, I really put the KSG to the test before adding it to my collection. It's perfect for home defense or tactical situations. And this 12-gauge is a reliable go-to that's easy to handle for everyone. The KSG shotgun is the first 12-gauge pump-action shotgun chambered for 3-inch shells and with dual tube magazines offers a capacity of 12 plus 1. Its downward shell ejection makes the KSG truly ambidextrous and ejects shells away from your face. It's compact, lightweight, and easy to maneuver and control. Learn more about the KSG shotgun at Kel-TecWeapons.com and follow Kel-Tec on social media. Visit Kel-TecWeapons.com. That's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. You know when I first heard that Queen song, Fat Bottom Girls, I thought, man, I need to do squats.

That's my first thought. I mean, is there any better – Queen's one of my favorite bands all the time. I mean, it's just – this song is so much fun. This song – Steve, what would you say? This song is a banger, correct?

Yeah, that works, see? I mean, have you ever played this as DJ Fun Uncle? That's not his DJ name.

He hates it when we say that, but we can't help it. I mean, have you ever just like ripped this in a club or anywhere where you've been like spinning and people enjoy it or no? Definitely at weddings more than clubs, but yeah, it's a big wedding hit. I mean, I would go back to that club if I heard this or like ACDC or something. I just would be like, I'm coming back. This is great.

I mean, it's such a fun song. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lesh here with you, bottom of this first hour.

Listen coast to coast, stream the program, join the convo over at YouTube as well. Now, I'm going to get into some of the nuance of this, but – so here's the headline. First off, I think this song came out the year I was born, if I'm correct with my estimation here, Fat Bottom Girls, right? It was off – it was one of their – it's one of their greatest hits. And this – it was written by Brian May and obviously Freddie Mercury with a – who is just such a phenomenal, oh my gosh, phenomenal performer, sidebar. You know that whole – what was it, Live Aid? That was like his last performance before his death. It was one of the greatest performances of all time, of all time. I look at all of these pop stars today, none of them could touch, none of them.

So I'm thinking about this, like why – because it sounds like he's been hit by cancel culture. Now there's a caveat perhaps here, which we're going to touch on, but for now, apparently they have this greatest hits collection that's out. And it is apparently not included on it, the greatest hits collection.

Now the caveat, the – is what Lorraine has found. She said that it was pulled from the greatest hits on the children's audio platform. Can I be real?

I don't know if I'd have pulled it off of that. But see, that's me, I'm that kind of parent, like my kids listen to all kinds of music. See, give the parents the ability to determine what is or is not age appropriate for their children.

That's all we're asking. Now some parents might say, yeah, Dana, you're nuts, I'm not letting my kid listen. Okay, that's fine, that's you, you do you. I'm not going to sit here and demand that it be included in the schools.

I'm not going to do it. You know, yeah, I just – I believe that you have that parental authority. But people are – I mean, I just – because I'm thinking of just the irony of canceling a song from a band that was headed out by a gay dude. You know, I'm just – and by the way, he did his job.

Can I just also add that as a sidebar? Freddie Mercury, he never made it about it. He did his job. Gay men still sing about fat bottom girls, stop. He did his job.

A rock star doing their job. You got to appreciate that. They – it was – what was it? Their album, Jazz, and it had this chick on a bike. Didn't they have to put britches on her at some point? Like, wasn't it considered scandalous and they had to put britches on her or something like – yeah. So now they're saying that it was just – it was maybe specifically on the kid's version. But there's some other – I think we need some clarification on this.

Some are saying that it was just from the actual greatest hits. Is it – are they going to try to say it's fat shaming? Now, Cain, you brought up some really good points because you were saying, oh, but nobody has a problem with WAP. I'm not going to tell you what that – don't Google it. If you don't know what it is, don't Google it. Don't try to. Don't look at what it stands for.

Don't. Or some of these other songs out there, right? I mean, just – They're not canceled. I mean, they're also not on children's albums either.

Not that I know of. Is this on a children's album? Can I just be real? Like, I – I mean, there's – what's the worst thing?

Naughty Nanny? Is that, like, the worst lyric in there? I mean, he's, you know, he's very creative. It was May and Mercury that did the lyrics. It sounds like Brian May.

Like, when you just read it as a sentence, you're like, oh my gosh. For sure. That's Brian May. But, yeah, I mean, it's – are you going to take me home tonight? Downside that red firelight, you're going to let it all hang out.

Fat bottom, girls make the rockin' world go round. Yeah, it's just embracing the curves, man. Right. What? I'm just saying. But if they came to cancel Queen, I think that's – that is past the Rubicon.

Actually, we passed that already. There's a new Rubicon, and that second Rubicon is when I riot. That's when I – I don't know what that looks like, having – you know, that I've never rioted before. I've never engaged in – I don't even know what that would entail. How would you riot, Cain, if you could, if one did, if you did? I don't know.

Play the song loud at every opportunity? I have no idea. Yeah, would you, like, walk down, like, John Cusack and say anything?

Maybe in my car? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sure. And, again, I don't even care enough, I think, to riot anything. Oh, I do.

This is about taste. At some point, you've got to make a stand. Yeah. I mean, if it's about freedom or something, then, yeah.

I mean, when you're going for Queen, it's gone too far. And that's when we must rise up. Dang it. We must rise up for the fat-bottom girls.

It has to happen. Who's with me? To the streets. Like I said, I don't even know what that – if we'd get out there in the street and be like, well, what do we do now?

I don't know. So, but now, if it's part of the children's album, I get, you know, I let my kids listen to literally all types of music. They grew up watching horror films. I wasn't the strict – I mean, I was more concerned with sexual content, I think, than language. But – and there were certain, like, you know, like The Exorcist. I never let them watch The Exorcist because that's messed up.

There's certain – you know, there were limitations, yes. But then I also have friends who were like, if it's not on the kids' bop album, then their kids aren't listening to it. And their kids grew up with horrible taste in music, I mean, as you might have guessed. So I just don't – I get at the kids' album thing, but then they're saying that this over at Daily Mail, it's like, oh, well, no, it's from the Greatest Hits album.

That's not a Greatest Hits album if it's omitted from this, is all I'll say. But see, the thing is, is that it's – I think almost at anything, somebody goes, wait till the woke discovers Spinal Tap. Shh. Shh. Don't say it out loud. They will hear you.

They will hear you. Crank Queen to Eleven. Yeah. It goes this is better.

It goes one more, one louder. You know Queen's song, Bicycle, had Fat Bottom Girls in the lyrics as well. I mean, okay, so Bicycle, that's a whole other thing. Right. And you didn't even know really what he was talking about. You were just like, he loves bipedal travel or bi – or bicycular travel.

Is this great? Yeah, sure, that's what it is. Go on with that. But I don't think that Freddie Mercury seems like he would have been an anti-woke kind of dude, right? I don't think that he would have abided by any of that.

And then they would have immediately canceled him. Oh, you're not the right kind of gay guy. Canceled. See, that's the other thing. If you're – it doesn't matter anymore, because I said earlier as we started the segment talking about how it looks like they were coming for Fat Bottom Girls from Queen. It doesn't even matter if the band's fronted by a gay guy anymore. You're just privileged adjacent now. Not even the gays have special privilege. They don't have special privileges anymore. I mean, you've got to cut your willy off in order to get the special privilege, right?

And then you have to pretend to be a woman who likes dudes, and then that just is a whole bunch of other levels of confuse. So I'm just saying that not even that. It's just amazing how far it's gone. Yeah, the comments that I've seen from this, just wait until they hear the song WAP. Just wait until they hear this song, the title of which I can't even say on air. Wait until they hear this one. Wait until they – I know, I know. I'm just saying I am right there with you in all of it. In all of it.

So I feel like I want to play that for the rest of the show. The latest data from the American Heart Association indicates that adults with fatty liver were 3.5 times more likely to have heart failure than those without. And the American Liver Foundation says that 100 million Americans have fatty liver. Start taking care of your liver with Liver Health Formula. You throw everything at your liver – cholesterol, alcohol, toxins, Tylenol, statins, cigarettes.

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It's time for Dana's Quick 5. Alright, so first stop here. The iPhone 15 is coming. Actually, mine's been really glitchy, my 14, so you guys know gadgets are my weakness.

Gadgets and tech, like little techy things is my weakness. So it's expected to be launched in the beginning of September. Now here's where I'm getting mad.

I'm already mad. So it is going to have a new charging port. Now, is this good or bad? A generic charging port. It's a USB-C connector. It's going to replace the proprietary port.

But I already have all their stupid stuff. So now you're telling me now after I got... are you kidding me? So they said that's going to be one of the... So they're complying with EU regs that require them to have USB-C charging. So they're in September, blah blah blah, so they're going to have a generic charging port.

I'm going to punch these things. Now I'm mad. I was excited about it.

Because they wouldn't have got all that other stuff. Nobody wants to go to Burning Man anymore. So I cannot believe these tickets are this expensive. Hey, spend $575 and come be stinky in the desert with a bunch of druggies and drunks.

Yay! Burning Man tickets flood the market for less than $575 face value after the nightmarish 2022 conditions and influx of influencers turned longtime attendees sour. I just... at some point, I guess, like way back when, I guess people thought it was cool. But I just... I don't like being... I don't like festivals. I don't like theme parks.

I don't like, you know, places where any... where a bunch of people can demonstrate herd-like mentalities, right? And I just... I'm just against it. And then people dress...

I don't know. It just seems weird. The whole thing is weird.

It's like they try to pretend to be the Mad Max. If that's your jam, then go on with it. But $575.

Kane, I feel like we could like charge that and we could take them. There's this church that's building a new parking lot down the road, right? So it's like real dusty and dirty. Like, same thing.

Like $575. You don't even have to go all the way to the desert out there, right? And you're right by a Kroger. So that's what works for you. AI-created art isn't copyrightable says one judge in a ruling that I don't think is going to stay. I do not think that's going to stay because they're going to go down. What is it?

Like if you use 15 seconds of a song as a sample over 15 seconds, then it's copyrighted. So I think they're going to use those sorts of measures. What do you make of that? That Joe Biden seems to not have this groundswell of support right now.

Do you think it's all age? No, I think it's our system. I think Donald Trump and the Republican Party have poisoned it to people. No one trusts our institutions. No one trusts Congress.

No one trusts any of us. Because all they do is attack our families, do those types of things. This is one of the dumbest people I've ever heard.

Minnesota Democrat Governor Tim Walz. He said, well, Biden's lack of support is because those Republicans have poisoned the system. They've just poisoned everything. All they do is attack our families. Wait, I'm sorry, what? You're a party and you want to talk about politicization and attacking families?

Tell me a little bit more about DOJ and FBI working together under the Patriot Act to classify parents who spoke out at school boards as domestic terrorists. What? Let's have that one. Come again? This guy.

If you look up blowhard in the dictionary, it's that. He's your favorite, isn't he? You like you some Tim Walz, don't you, Cain? He's precious. P-R-E-S-H-U-S, precious. Because Republicans have poisoned the whole system. Them damn Republicans, they have poisoned everything. How do they keep getting away with the whole Republicans pounce thing? Like, we can't just report on what Democrats are doing crappily?

Well, don't forget, Cain, the CNN piece. It's our linguistic jujitsu. Our linguistic jujitsu, yes. You know, what some people might call just, you know, basic rhetoric.

No, some cat who apparently just was born yesterday and thinks that history began at the same time. He thinks that that that's just it's not, you know, basic rhetoric that everyone employs. I guess it's a compliment.

He's saying that we're all real smart and we weaponize the language with our our jujitsu. But I literally can't point to any one thing Democrats have done well in the last two and a half years. So what has Biden done?

Oh, man, ruining the economy. They're amazing. They're like the valedictorians of that. That's a negative. No one can touch them, but it's a win for them. So in some ways it's a positive. Dana, how dare you?

You using that linguistic jujitsu again? It's true. I mean, they're amazing. They're also snorting Coke. They're so good with cocaine. And not investigating where it came from.

Right. And they don't end hiding it, hiding the use of it. I mean, you have literally two Coke heads in the White House at the same time. Don't know where that cocaine came from. It is a mystery. We'll never know.

It just the cameras don't work crazy. I mean, Dana, is that that linguistic jujitsu? I mean, maybe. I mean, they're really good at snorting Coke, hiding Coke, not taking accountability of their own kids. You know, really good at that. Showering with Daddy, apparently. President Daddy Showers, McCunity. So that's his name, right?

Why isn't that a sticker? We haven't even mentioned the weaponization of government yet. And that sounds like some of that linguistic jujitsu that Jen's all used. Does that mean just poisoning the well right then? You're pouncing.

You're pouncing, sir. My bad. So there's not going to... I really want there to be a general election debate. I don't think Biden will make it.

He'll pass out on stage. All right. Today in stupidity. What do we have, sir? FEMA administrator Deanne Criswell, she was asked a question about how, you know, can you give us a sense of how the president believes Maui and the wildfire response has been so far?

Listen to what she says here. Give us a sense for what the president, how the president believes the response has been so far. Is he happy with all of it? Is there things that he believes should have been done differently or done in a separate manner? Or has this been something that he has been pleased with? I continue to provide the president updates on what the response efforts are. And he always says, what else can we do?

And we continue to move more resources in. I think based on the updates and the communication that I have had with the president, he is satisfied with our response. Oh, satisfied?

He's on the beach. How would you know? Yeah, exactly. He's at Lake Tahoe now after his other 14 day. Good Lord. Good heavens. I know. Exactly. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.