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Welcome back to the program. Daniel Lash with you, top of the second hour. And Trump has basically, I guess this is Scott Besant, part of the economic. Shiv that he was making for Iran that they were crafting because POTUS this morning. Basically, anybody who's doing business with Iran has to choose between the IRGC and then having access to the entire West.
POTUS Tweets this quote I almost have to do his voice, but I can't. No one has given the Islamic Republic of Iran a greater opportunity to make a deal than me. Tragically, caps luck, for them, they have failed to take it. Therefore, today I am announcing the most again, this is all caps, most crushing economic operation ever taken against any country. He adds, this will be economic warfare and isolation on an unprecedented scale.
Their navy is gone, their air force is destroyed, their military factories are now rubble, their currency is worthless, and their country is hanging by a thread. He says today, I'm also announcing that any country that allows its financial institutions, its businesses, its airports, its government entities to provide any type of lifeline to Iran will itself face caps lock. Tremendous. Economic consequences. Oil smuggling, swap lines, cash transfers, exchange houses, ship registries, front companies, it all needs to stop.
Caps lock now. You know who you are. This will be in Capslock Economic D-Day. And we need POTUS rights, all of our allies, to stand with the United States of America to isolate and defeat the Iran threat. These maniacs are on the ropes, and these quote, are these caps like historic measures.
Will cripple them and their ability to project terror worldwide. Cue the whole Caps Lock sentence: Iran will never have a nuclear weapon. Thank you for your attention to this matter, President Donald J. Trump. Hmm.
Well, it's, you know, you're looking at Qatar, you're looking at Oman, who POTUS just shook his fist at at the top of the week, China. Russia. Or maybe even the UAE to an extent. They've always been kind of a financial proxy, even though they've sort of been kind of. Friendly with the Saudis and that relationship there, but they're trying to help it help avoid sanctions.
Uh So we'll see China's not gonna China's not gonna mess with this. They do too much business with the US. They're not going to mess with us. Vladimir Putin? Ah.
I mean What's interesting in the Wall Street Journal, let me pull this piece up. Um This, I thought this was fascinating.
So the story is. Uh Trump's plan to squeeze Iran's economy will live or die in Dubai. The UAE, long to Iran's gateway to global commerce, has pledged to crack down, but it's complicated.
So when I look at this, This is more really it seems like it's directed more towards Dubai then, and UAE than anything. And I mean, per the Wall Street Journal, that seems to be the real. That's what he's really going after.
So the UAE said that They've suspended financial and economic transactions with Iran. Which the Wall Street Journal notes potentially threatens Tehran's access to a major source of imports and a financial backdoor to the world. And it follows weeks of the Trump administration cajoling the UAE to crack down on the Iran financial networks operating in the country, telling the Emirati officials that targeting money flows linked to Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps could have a greater impact on Tehran than the U.S. naval blockade of Iranian ports, according to people familiar with the matter.
So, if implemented broadly, the Wall Street Journal notes, the UAE could significantly curb Tehran's access to foreign currency and global trade networks as the Iranian economy buckles under soaring inflation and sanctions and wartime disruption. And the administration hopes that this could increase the pressure on Iran to strike a deal.
Now, remember, it's a deal just to get to the negotiating table, it's not even the final boss. of negotiations. I don't even know why we're still talking about a deal because you're never going to have any kind of negotiation or deal or acceptance, excuse me, or terms with the IRGC. In good faith. Not ever.
At this point, they just need to suffocate them economically and make it collapse. And that's the first step in doing this. Because this is about taking out the regime. At this point, and if you're trying to do it without firing a single shot, then this is the way to do it. They're not going to be able, the U.S.
For all the people who say, well, we need to have a regime change, there is not, people in the US will say that, but honestly, they don't have the appetite. Everybody wants to write these checks with their mouths, but no one wants to cash it with their ass. Let's just be honest. Nobody wants to do it. And POTUS is constrained by the indecisiveness and the meekness of people who have no idea how to prosecute a conflict.
That's the reality of it. If Trump had his way, I think it would be 110,000 times harsher. But he's got those post-liberals that want to do Bush League 2.0 stuff that are pulling him back. That's how I view it, and you can't convince me otherwise. He was so hyper-focused when he started, and all the post-liberals started clucking.
Yeah. From their little think tanks, a bunch of pencil pushers. Fuck. All that big, that too big to fail BS. All the forever war people that always like they staunt like they're not, but they are.
So We'll see, but but the thing with this is though. is him doing this. means you have to have a willing partner with the UAE. Can that be done? Can they count on the UAE for that?
I don't know. I've really Don't know. Dubai Really does. You ate not as much as. You've seen maybe Oman and some others, but Dubai, but UAE really does try to play both sides, not triangulate, but.
Not just to kind of absolve themselves, not to control, but to get out. And they don't want to make Iran mad. And they also want to maintain influence in that region. I don't know. Wall Street Journal notes that the U.S.
sanctions orders in recent years show that oil revenues, foreign currency trades, and payments for Iranian entities have long moved through shell companies and exchange houses in Dubai, often without an Iranian name appearing on the transaction. Cutting off Iran would also require Emirati authorities to crack down much more aggressively on opaque financial and trading activity, which could hurt Dubai's role as a freewheeling global hub for commerce, capital, and exports. I've always, I have to be honest, I've always wanted to visit Dubai because it looks very pretty. I like harsh landscapes. But not if y'all are going to be a sponsor and working with IRGC, ain't never going to happen.
Never gonna happen. I mean, if they really want to do this, if the if honestly, I don't know how you how the UAE can't be convinced that this is better for them and their influence and their ability to play in the market in the long term without the IRGC there. Why does everybody act like they're so damn afraid of these stoges? Why? It's fascinating.
But this is It looks like this is part of that. Economic. you know, passage. or that economic plan. Uh that Bessant, Scott Besson.
was looking now of course You know we also have the other pipeline. POTUS is proposed reviving Keystone XL. We talked a little bit about that yesterday. That would add a lot more to the world market. In terms of crude, that would add a lot.
So we'll see. There's things underway. I mean, the Saudis have been working on, you know, different ways to bypass the straight. I don't think you're ever going to get you're never going to get away from having the straight as. a mode obviously for energy, but you can reduce The Share of the market in terms of how much flows through there by bypassing with the pipelines, et cetera, like the Saudis are doing.
Absolutely. And that's in fact, that's one of the things that they already started doing.
So we'll see. But this the whole plan. with UAE, they're I don't know. I I'm not in diplomacy as I'm not a diplomat, and I don't have the patience to baby people who should be making the right decisions. And when they don't, I want to rip their teeth out and make them choke on them.
So I'm not a diplomat. I don't have that patience and that Mm. amiable quality that diplomacy requires. My job, my view is: oh, you're not, you don't, you don't want to agree? Smack your head on the boardroom table.
Now you will. But they have to go along. They need to go along with us. All right, Abdul Al-Saeed, guys, he's like Jesus, but black, he says, this is cut nine. Can we just oh no no sorry first let's do eight let's do eight sorry cut eight this is Abdul Al Saeed.
Oh, you know, Jesus, peace and blessings be upon him. was considered radical in his time too. And there is a radical nature to being willing. to stand forthright in a time of corruption.
So he's comparing himself to Jesus. Hmm.
Jesus didn't lie though. Jesus was without sin. Jesus also didn't believe in the subjugation that you're cult teaches so no and then cut nine He's like Jesus but black. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You know, there's been an effort, I think, to divide people. against each other. And unfortunately you see that the consequence of that. to tell us that Some group or another group have to be counterposed because there's not enough for all of us. I am Arab, I'm also African.
My family immigrated to this country from Egypt. I'm proud of my African heritage. Which body? I feel like he's appropriating. He's appropriating right now.
He's trying to check every identity box possible. every identity box possible. And I mean, he's doing. I don't know. He barely won.
I can't see this working.
Well, I'm just like Jesus. You know, he was a radical. He was without sin. And he saved people. You want to subjugate people.
There's no comparison. There's absolutely no comparison at all, whatsoever. This is going to be a very interesting midterm, isn't it? It is. The folks who make the program possible, it's the people over at Alliance Defending Freedom who have been the tip of the spear for so many fights.
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You never know what the week's going to throw at you. That's why you need to keep your engine ready with Penzoil Platinum. The full synthetic motor oil that maximizes engine protection. And you can maximize your time too by scheduling a quick oil change at your local Walmart Auto Care Center. They'll get it done while you shop.
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Terms and restrictions apply. See details at penzoil.com/slash claim. It said everything happens for a reason, but maybe everything happens for a reason. Take noise-canceling headphones. Do they block hearing to heighten taste?
Mmm. That sound seems to show everything happens for Reese's. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five.
So OpenAI introduces chat GPT for teams. But Yeah, they introduced that whole experience. There's a lot of concerns over child safety. Look, I'm going to tell you this just like I would with everything. You're never going to get away from AI.
It's here. You need to learn how to adapt and deal with it. Otherwise, you're going to be at a major disadvantage and you're going to set your kids up for failure. And it's just ridiculous. But that does not mean that you use this, just like with screen time or anything else, as a babysitter, right?
So they're trying to, OpenAI is rolling out ChatGP for teens that they say is going to provide additional safety protections for teen users. And that comes after they're dealing with all these lawsuits about inappropriate conversations with ChatGPT and harm and all of that stuff.
So like for instance, they nudge teen users to take a break if they've been active for 90 minutes. First off, if your kid's sitting at the computer for 90 minutes and the AI has to nudge them because the parent won't, you're a crap parent. If you're not checking in with your kid and they're having that much screen time, I don't care if it's homework or not, you're not checking in. If my words offend you, you're too sensitive for media.
So you need to literally climb back into whatever the hellhole you came from instead of trying to police everyone else to make sure that everything we say is just attuned to your sensitivities because that's not how the world works. You leftist.
So I say that because I always get something. But really, it's true. If the AI has to check in and the parent doesn't, that's a problem in your house. Just saying, it's a problem in your house. A homeless man sues for 10 million after he breaks into a business and the owner shoots him three times.
It is Oregon. This is why I want. Look, Oregon, you're beautiful. I have friends that live there. They want me to come visit, but stuff like this is why I want.
I'm not even doing it. This guy, yeah, a homeless dude, he broke into a Portland business in the pre-dawn hours. And I love it. They go, yeah, to find something to eat and also possibly make off with some loot. And he thought no one was there.
The owner, you know, scared him. And then he had to go get his firearm and he returned. The guy still wouldn't leave, apparently, and he got shot three times in the arm and in the torso.
So the guy who broke in was stealing. Was and was the one who was found to be innocent, and the business owner now has to pay $10 million. Yeah. That's what the circuit court judge, who is an absolute eunuch, that is what the circuit court judge decided to rule.
So, they want to punish you for defending yourself. They want to punish you for not being a willing victim. This is ridiculous. And the guys, you know, the business owner is an elderly man.
So, wow, that's insane. And people were like, well, you know, did you have a right to be in your business? We'll come back to this because it is a crazy, crazy, crazy story. A study finds that seven in 10 adults are obese. I think it's because people aren't getting as much.
They're not as active as they used to be. I mean, think about it. If you look, I was reading this article about how why is it that you didn't seem to have as much obesity in the 70s and like the 60s? And, you know, people aren't just romanticizing the era and erasing that. It is dramatically different now than it was then.
A lot of it is food, a lot of it's quality of food, but a lot of it is people just not wanting to take the time to make the right choices. And also nobody, people don't cook as much now as they used to. Like back then, everybody cooked, you cooked all your own stuff.
So where you sourced your food really wasn't the issue. It was people aren't eating super high processed stuff. All of the, you know, basically, instead of off the rack, it's out the fridge.
So they didn't, you know, people eat way more processed stuff. That's, you know. Your body gets hooked on that stuff.
So that's part of it as well. A pet goose honks to alert a family of a barn fire and saves all their animals. Geese are chaos, but I also love them. This pet goose, Bert Gerber, that's his name. Bert Gerber, not the goose, but the guy who owns a goose.
Bert Gerber heard Bert Gerber's noose, his goose, and he woke up and the goose was warning him. And of course, the goose's name is just goosey. And they were able to save all their animals. I hope they give him some extra bread or something, little breadcrumbs. Stick with us, Mornstore.
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Terms and restrictions apply. See details at penzweil.com/slash claim. It said everything happens for a reason, but maybe everything happens for a reason. Take noise-canceling headphones. Do they block hearing to heighten taste?
Hmm.
That sound seems to show everything happens for Reese's. Ooh, welcome back to the program. I've been looking forward to this segment all week long. Actually, for like, I think since I said last week we need to get Carol Roth on the program, because the burrito economy is one of those discussions that I kind of want to yeet myself off my roof, break my legs down to nubbins because it's that brain-dead of a debate. But also, it kind of feels like, you know, being more serious about it.
It kind of feels like it's like the gateway. To a larger discussion about all the post-liberal stuff. that's happening and I had a conversation with a very good friend of mine. He's a legal professor. And I said, he was back in the tea party days, and I said, You remember when we were actually like protesting side by side, like at too big to fail and all of this stuff?
And he goes, Yes. And I go, Are we back there? I feel like we're back. We're back at that.
So I wanted to bring on someone who I absolutely trust, who's one of the smartest, I think, literally, like the smartest person in finance and understands, like, she can do math. You know, she's got great hair and she's hysterical. Everybody knows our very dear friend, Carol Roth. And I love how she describes herself because she has her newsletter. She's a recovering.
Investment banker. It almost sounds like a dirty thing. She makes it sound like a dirty thing. Entrepreneur, TV pundit, and host, make sure you go and get her newsletter at CarolRoth.com/slash news. And she joins us now via video.
Carol, my good friend, make this make sense because this whole thing started. With this comment. On a $20 burrito, which I don't even know how anybody could spend $20 on a burrito unless they're getting a drink with it. I don't get it. And then it went from affordability is a crisis, therefore, we must have more big government to fix it.
Did I nail that right? That's kind of how that went. You did, and it's an interesting timing because we just passed a milestone today, right? America's debt is $40 trillion, which means it is bigger than my hair officially, which is a bad economic indicator. But the reason I bring that up, Dana, is because government is at the root of this.
And you talk about the Tea Party and you talk about things that have happened in yesteryear. And every time we've had a crisis over the past 15, 17, 20 years, you know, it's been the government hasn't let it sort of work itself out. The answer is, what can we do to cover it up? And what they've done is they artificially suppressed interest rates for about a decade and a half. When necessary, they had the Fed print money.
And all of these things have had two different effects depending on where you stand in the economy. If you're somebody who holds assets, it has inflated those assets, at least nominally. It doesn't mean that the real value of them is more, but, you know, when you're thinking about inflation adjusted, but the headline number is more.
So it looks like your 401k is up, your stock portfolio is up, your house is worth more, and things are going well for you. But if you're somebody who happened to not hold assets and, you know, you're trying to pay for education. Or you're trying to pay today for everything, including apparently a burrito, the cost of day-to-day living has become just absolutely exorbitant. And so, what is happening is that that is then turning around and getting blamed on capitalism instead of decisions that are being made by the governments, sometimes in conjunction or enabled by the Federal Reserve. And that's not capitalism, that is cronyism, that's central planning, that is sort of socialism in many, many, you know, many aspects of socialism.
And so, like you said, that the solution that they're saying is, hey, Let's fix this by having more government. Let's let the fox guard the hen house. Let's have the arsonists who burn our house down come help us with the rebuilder to put out the fire. It makes absolutely no sense. But when people are desperate, and you know, there's an argument to be made on whether, you know, how much of that desperation is lifestyle and expectations and not.
But I think we all agree that upward mobility, the ability to, you know, have the American dream and get into a house to have reasonable access to education that doesn't turn you into a communist and all of those kinds of things. Are more expensive, are more difficult, particularly for young people. And desperate people with nothing to lose will turn to desperate measures, even if they don't make any sense. I mean, I think the argument, we're talking with Carol Roth, if you're just joining us, she's the author of You Will Own Nothing, Your War with a New Financial World Order and How to Fight Back. It seems as though they, because I've seen this discussed, there's so many things economically, domestically that we can do.
Big government causing, you can't use big government to fix problems caused by big government. But they also say, and I've seen these complaints, that they don't want to wait. The time that it's going to take for all of those measures to kick in organically. I'm like, okay, this is the problem, Carol. This is the problem right now.
They don't want to wait. They just think that if government does it right now, it can do it faster and then government can back off. Because Carol, you know that government, when it makes bad policy, it goes, wow, that was bad. I'm not going to do that anymore. It's done that over and over again throughout history.
Yeah, I mean, they always, the government's really known for acting quickly, for getting good results, and then for backing off when something goes down. That always happens with government. I totally understand. You know, part of the problem is just the way that we are moving through society now, right? Everything is on demand.
You want something delivered to your house. Amazon can deliver it not just the next day anymore, but sometimes within hours. You're on social media. You have access in your pocket through your phone to all the information that's ever been created in the world and a lot of misinformation as well. We are living in a minute by minute.
I mean, people won't even go to pick. Pick up fast food anymore. People are door dashing fast food and making something that, you know, probably is, you know, should cost $3, probably cost $9, cost $20. And so there is this immediacy that we have. Kind of fostered in society that's problematic.
But, you know, we have also rampant financial illiteracy, which has been frustratingly done intentionally. I mean, we pay for government-funded education, and this is what's coming out of that K through 12, let alone then the college loans that we're backing so that everyone can become communists and demand these things.
So, you know, there is sort of a fundamental problem, and there's also a messaging problem. And there's been a bastardization of words like capitalism to mean something that they don't and conflation.
So, you know, it's very difficult when people are fledgling. And I know I'm just kind of going off here, Dana, but no, but it makes sense because you have a great editorial that this dovetails into that's up on Fox. And I'm going to let you continue, but I wanted to point out to people that her editorial, if you haven't read it, it says government made your burrito more expensive and socialism will make it worse. I mean, that goes right into it. Yeah, and this is why, you know, and you know, I'm obviously rooting for the current administration.
I like a lot of people in the current administration, but I'm so frustrated with them because the reason they were put into office was to fix affordability. And like we said, they're not going to be able to do it overnight, but there's some clear, low-hanging fruit. I mean, the administration said they were going to go after the colleges to be able to restructure how education is paid for on a secondary level, put the colleges on the hook, create a bankruptcy process, have some recourse and responsibility, stop selling, you know, multiple six-figure educations that get you a $50,000 job. They could have done that. They could have not gone in the direction of tariffs and put in barriers for small business.
They could have opened up things and tried to cut red tape and make it easier. They could have made mortgages. They could have made those assumable. They could have worked to. Help make those portable.
There are things that they could have done. It wouldn't have fixed everything, by the way. But at least, okay, we see because that's the thing with the immediacy. You want to at least see, like, okay, we're moving in the right direction, and then maybe I'll let you continue in the right direction. But instead, we got these side quests, these roadblocks, and things that didn't make a lot of sense.
And that's why, you know, I said from day one, the choreography here was so important.
So now that they haven't seen that be put in process, they're like, well, we tried it this way. What's our other option? I guess, you know, it's Zoran Mamdani, which is, you know, the polar opposite direction with all these insane policies and just letting the government control everything and destroy this country. But for the people who are feeling like they maybe tried this or they're at least seeing that it didn't work, we're not moving in that direction. They've now given up.
We live in an immediate gratification society.
So I'm going to look elsewhere. Yeah. And it's true. And they are. One last quick thing on this.
And then and a couple of other discussion points. Because I think so much of the right's been talking about the socialist rise on the left. Understandably, obviously, it's terrifying.
Now they're just getting rid of all formalities. It's official now. But it's also rising. Maybe I'm conflating it a little bit with authoritarianism, but it is rising on the right as well, like with the stuff that we're talking about. I mean, it's like these, you know, these, you know, like the Trump accounts and things like that.
Those, these are socialist policies.
Some of the stuff that, you know, the vice president talks about with getting rid of the dollar as the world's reserve. I do not understand that. I also wanted to get your quick take on that because that's... that seems insane. And he gets into, well, the buying habits of Americans and it is a resource curse.
And I never thought of the strength of the dollar as being a curse, Carol.
Well So, I'm going to get a little wonky on you. Stay with me, class. But basically, when you are the holder, the issuer of the world's reserve currency, there's always a trade-off, right? Because there's a demand for dollars. And if you're going to manage that, you have to sometimes make some choices and say, Well, are we going to create stability for that on the global market for all these people who want to buy it versus at home?
And sometimes we have to make trade-offs there. The Fed has absolutely managed to mismanage this so that there has been a lack of stability on the global market, and there's also been a lack of stability at home.
So, congratulations for doing neither Federal Reserve. But having access to affordable things, I don't think is the issue. And I also think, you know, tying into our discussion, this really lets the government off the hooks because, as the holder of the world's reserve currency, the flip side of this challenge is we had something that was called the exorbitant privilege. And the exorbitant privilege means that we have cheap financing. There's demand for dollars, and that means that we have cheap interest rates, and the government can finance cheaply, and then that flows through the rest of the economy.
That means businesses can finance cheaply, and they can go out and continue to invest and to grow. And yes, consumers can put things on their credit card more cheaply. Maybe not as good, but that's their own problem. I'm not going to step in the middle of that. The challenge is that as we have not managed the dollar well on a global stage, the Biden administration fully weaponized the dollar when they seized Russia's reserve assets because it basically said, Well, you can hold treasuries, but we can come back and take them back anytime we want, which doesn't really create a big sign of like, hey, okay, I want to do this.
So, you know, it's been a challenge. And we've had countries throughout the world say, Well, we're not really that interested. Anymore in financing the U.S. at this low rate, we're going to put some more of our money in gold instead of doing this. But this has been the government's fault.
This is the fact that we're racking up $2 trillion in terms of deficits a year. This is the fact that we have $40 trillion of debt. This is the fact that when these bad times have come about, we've printed money and destroyed the value of the dollar here in the U.S. Like he's completely letting the government off the hook and the fact that they've had this privilege that has been absolutely obliterated by fiscal mismanagement and political mismanagement. That's the issue.
And the reason that Vance wants us to move away. He wants this cheaper dollar is this pipe dream of, oh, we're going to reshore all of our manufacturing. But the reality is that it's not just about the cheap dollar. It's about access to labor. It's about our laws and our legal system.
It's about the cost of energy. And the idea that all of a sudden, oh, and by the way, we don't even have like the wherewithal and the know-how right now that all of a sudden, okay, well, if we get rid of the dollars, the world's reserve currency, that you know, we're going to go back and you know, start making t-shirts and toys. Like it's an insane, unrealistic dream.
So we should be looking forward and figuring out how we can get our house in order because at the end of the day, the call is coming from inside the house, just like it does in every other horror movie. Amen to that. Carol Roth, who should actually be advising everybody in the White House, honestly. I would take a scout. I thought you liked me, Dana.
No, I know, I know, but I get we. Need you. Your country needs you. Oh my gosh. Carol Roth, you need to go and get her book.
You will own nothing, which is a horror story. You want to talk about horror stories. This is a scary story. Your war with new financial world order and how to fight back, and her newsletter, CarolRoth.com/slash news. Carol, I wish we had more time.
Would love to have you back. I learn so much whenever we talk, and you're so good at this.
So, thank you so much for your time, my friend. Always look fabulous, smart, and you understand math. I wish we could clone you, or at least we could have you teach America. I don't know, something. Good to see you, my friend.
God bless you. Anytime, you're the best. Of course, how much of your financial life exists as a number on a screen? Your savings, your retirement accounts, and investments are all digital assets. And that's one reason many people choose to own physical gold and silver as a part of a balanced, diversified portfolio.
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And for a limited time, when you open a new qualified account, Noble Gold will send you a free 1/10-ounce gold coin as a thank-you gift, available for qualified gold IRA accounts and cash purchases. That's noblegoldinvestments.com/slash Dana. You never know what the week's going to throw at you. That's why you need to keep your engine ready with Penn's Oil Platinum. The full synthetic motor oil that maximizes engine protection.
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Ends August 31st, 2026 at participating locations only. Terms and restrictions apply. See details at penzoil.com slash claim. They say everything happens for a reason, but I suspect everything happens for a Reese's. Like this commercial break.
Did you need 15 seconds away from music or 15 seconds to eat a Reese's? Perhaps it's true. Everything happens for a Reese's. Yeah. It's his life mission to make bad decisions.
Yeah. It's time for Florida Man. I'm arguing with AI on break. Wait until next hour. I'll explain.
Okay, so. Oh, where to start? Uh, let's see here. A few things. We've got first up.
This Florida man faked a coma. and was arrested. He was trying to cover up $190,000. $190,000 he stole from his employer. That's insane.
This is coming from the IBT Times. Yeah, IB Times.
Sorry. He stole $190,000 from his employer, and to try to get off, he pretended that he was in a coma. How do you fake a coma? Huh? Stay asleep.
I don't know. I mean, how do you think that you're going to fake a coma to the point where you're going to fake out law enforcement? Right.
So apparently, his employers got a text saying that he was in a coma after a severe accident, but then IT personnel learned he had logged into his work computer. People in comas don't log into their work computers remotely, you know that? It's really wild. Yeah, he faked it. The company began questioning his absence at work, according to police.
They noticed the money missing. According to court documents, he frequently misworked, asked to work remotely. He had all kinds of excuses. And then his wife was, someone, a woman claiming to be his wife said that, oh, he was in an accident. He's in a coma now.
But then he kept logging, like the day that he was allegedly announced to be in a coma, he logged into his work computer. This doesn't make any sense.
So, guess what? He got arrested. Good, because not only is he a liar, but he's a bad liar. Let's see, a couple. Florida man is accused of dragging a bicyclist and running over his foot in a road rage incident.
Road rage. By the way, I like how Steve said of the comma or coma story. That he didn't know McConnell lived in Florida. It was funny. This is from Coral Springs Talk.
A Coral Springs. Cane that mug shot. Oh my. Coral Springs drivers accused of dragging this bicyclist, running over his foot. They said that Kenneth Hurley was arrested just a few days ago, charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon, stemming from an incident that began regarding an aggravated battery.
Upon arrival, bicyclists told police they were traveling in the bicycle lane, and a man driving a black Lexus began honking and yelling at them before trying to run them off the road. I'm sure that the bicyclists were all just total angels. And that were sharing the road responsibly, right? And they were just keeping to the bike path, right? No one believes that.
So he apparently, they said he got out of the vehicle. He stopped, got out of the vehicle, incited a confrontation, they said that turned violent. Another rider tried to record it. He slapped the phone from the hand, blah, blah, blah. I mean, look.
He shouldn't have done it, but I don't like bicyclists. And maybe it's because every single bicyclist I've ever been around has been horrible. There's a road that we have that we drive on to church in the morning, and there's a bicycle path. Literally, it's a path. And they refuse to ride the path.
No one's on the path, but they won't ride the path. They ride in the road, but then. If you're gonna ride in the road and act like you're traffic, the law dictates that you must follow the rules of the road. You have to follow traffic. They do not.
One morning, I literally watched a bicyclist almost get killed because he blew through a stop sign at a four-way stop.
So I loathe bicyclists because I have yet to see a responsible one. I'm sure they exist, but not in Texas.
Sorry, they don't. Get a car or stay on the damn path. That's it. And if you're gonna ride on the road, bye, God, you better follow the rules of the road. Otherwise, I'm not gonna feel bad for you when a guy with a skullet stops his car and gets out and slaps your phone out of your hand.
The end. I think everyone can agree with that. Yeah. So let's see. Um I don't want to read this one.
Cain, the woman. A Florida woman was arrested for fraud, and she had stuffed thousands of dollars inside of her. Oh, inside a hook. First.
Okay. Sure. Her prison purse? Her prison purse. This woman 31-year-old Monique Love Turnbull, don't be Moni loving.
Don't be doing, don't be putting that. Yeah, cry my Moni Love's name. From Miami, Florida, was arrested by police after she was accused of scheming. That's an actual singer from the 80s, Money Love, scamming a Floridian senior out of money. Turnbull poses a rep for a bank saying that the victim's account was compromised, saying, I'll take your card off your hands to deal with the matter.
She stole $3,000, literally, she had hundreds of dollars inside of her prison wallet. There you go. That does it. We're done. We're done with Florida Mirror right now for today.
Stay with us. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of the United States.
So would you be a good president?
Well see, I don't know. You never know what the wig's going to throw at you. That's why you need to keep your engine ready with Penzoil Platinum. The full synthetic motor oil that maximizes engine protection. And you can maximize your time too by scheduling a quick oil change at your local Walmart Auto Care Center.
They'll get it done while you shop. Ask for Penzoil Platinum and you can receive a $25 virtual prepaid card. Penzo. Long may we drive. Ends August 31st, 2026, at participating locations only.
Terms and restrictions apply. See details at penzoil.com slash claim. It's said everything happens for a reason, but maybe everything happens for reasons. take noise-canceling headphones. Do they block hearing to heighten taste?
Hmm.
That sound seems to show. Everything happens for Reese. I would like to think I would be, but that's for others to determine. By the way, I think I was a pretty good mayor. I think I was pretty good.
But people have different opinions. She's not going to be the nominee. I'm just telling you now, he's not going to win it. Because they don't think that he's leftist enough and he's too cringe. And I don't think any of the younger, I don't think any of the more socialist Democrats actually like him.
I really don't think that they do. I know that. You know, maybe. Six months ago. I thought It might be ha it might it could happen.
But if you see everyone's going the way of Abdul Al Saeed and Mamdani and he doesn't fit the mold, it's not because he doesn't, it's not because he disagrees with them on policy. He just is a dork. Not that, and I think Ma'am Donnie's a dork as well, but Newsome. Has been in office for way too long, and it's very, very difficult. disengage from that.
perspective that you're part of the Democrat establishment. Which he is, really. He's been, how long has he been in office? He's been in office for forever. Only plus years.
Oh my gosh, like a really long time. I could make a joke about how long he's been in office, but I'm not going to because it's really petty and it's a dig at somebody else. Not gonna do it. But I will tell you on Break King 'cause it is funny. I'm prou look new it's not a new year and it's not a new me.
I'm just It's turned. Um Just being generous today.
So I he's just not going to do it. He's not. I don't think I don't. There's no way that after they promote all of these far-left stooges, that they're going to be like, oh, yeah. Let's go ahead and have a more moderate guy as like the.
Top of the ticket. They're not going to do a moderate top of the ticket. It's not going to happen. It's never going to happen. That's good.
He's gonna be crushed because his whole life has been like for this purpose. He has His like whole life he's this is what he's gotten ready for. And it's just not gonna happen for him because he's tried too hard. Even when he gets mad and tries to cuss, it just looks so performative. Not that I don't think he has that kind of vocabulary, but.
Whenever guys that you know are weak, try to act tough. It's so obvious. And he's one of those dudes. It j it's inauthenticity. And at least, you know, there's something about the inauthenticity.
Like Mandani's lit is is authentically a terrorist-simping bigot. You know, Abdul al-Saeed is quite literally also a terrorist simping bigot and a fake doctor.
So just, you know. Just saying. By the way. The um we'll get into all of that. Abdel Al Al Saeed is like, I'm also African.
You never know what the week's going to throw at you. That's why you need to keep your engine ready with Penzoil Platinum. The full synthetic motor oil that maximizes engine protection. And you can maximize your time too by scheduling a quick oil change at your local Walmart Auto Care Center. They'll get it done while you shop.
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Hear that? That's the spam brand singing you a love song. Spam, sizzle, pork, and mm. They say everything happens for a reason, but I suspect everything happens for Orees. Like this commercial break.
Did you need 15 seconds away from music or 15 seconds to eat Orees? Perhaps it's true. Everything happens for Orees. And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five.
Dude, Banana Rama was like the 80s. That was 80s summer.
So that was like all my older cousins. That was their jam. And I borrowed it, I appropriated that. Because Kane was like, who do you mean? Because it was the 80s.
They were a great band. I was in kindergarten. I'm like, man, I was way older than that. Yeah, no. When did that song come out?
We'll Google it. I mean, you're right, because there's a difference. I love when the stuff that we're talking about on break. We're like, no, no, no, we're not done. We're just going to still talk about it on air.
So Amazon is expanding drone service to 500 cities after targeting a million deliveries this year. I just watched somebody's package get dropped in their pool on a video today. It was Amazon. I don't want my stuff dropped in no pool. I don't like the drone because I want to shoot it out of the sky.
Stop telling me that it's a federal offense. If you're, shut up. If you're over my airspace and I see you, I will get your drone out of the sky somehow. It will get hit with something. I don't know what, but I'm going to get one of those giant acne, like wily coyote.
Whoops? And just snatch it, snatch that drone. I don't want it over my house. That's the thing.
So, I don't want a drone delivery. Am I the only person that is freaked out by a drone? I see a drone coming at me, and I just have, I want to shoot it. It's like. Skeet.
I just need to get at it because I just don't like it. I don't like the way it sounds. It's creepy. I don't care if it's bringing me something I ordered. No, don't like it.
Anyway, they're expanding.
So the skies are going to be full of those little doomed NASA space telescope is set for uncontrolled fall to earth after a failed rescue mission.
Okay, so also going back to myself, talking about myself today, if this falls in my yard, finders keepers. Falls in Kane's yard, finders keepers. I don't know if you guys know that, but that's the rule of America. I joked about this to a European friend and they had no concept of anything I was just saying. They were like, What do you mean, finders, keepers?
I'm like, We find it, we keep it. And they're like, No, you've got it. I'm like, No, no, no, you don't. Find and keep, keep. They don't get it.
So, this dude, is it, what is it, gonna hit somebody's house? 30 million, it'll probably burn up. It's just gonna be probably some debris. But it's nice. It's the link.
It's a slow tumble, they said. That's a dry heat, they said. Harvard's gonna pay 53 million after a morgue manager sold body parts. Harvard is a super rich school. Why would they need to do this?
This is Chelsea Handler from Dear Chelsea.
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