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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. What? Yeah. It's time for Florida Man.
So I ran out of time for this one yesterday because we had a really short segment. A Florida man was arrested because deputies say they found a firearm hidden under his pro His prosthetic silicone boobs that he was wearing while he was trespassing at a construction site, said the authorities. Matthew Zaccarino, 39, was sitting alone in his vehicle last month when deputies approached him. They found him wearing a red lace bra with prosthetic breasts, according to Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd in a video posted on social media. The judd goes, Then we noticed he's wearing a G-string, showing off the boys.
You know what I mean? He said it was highly unusual. Deputies discovered that he had a firearm literally hidden under the prosthetics. And Judd was totally grossed out. He said it's ugly, so ugly.
Yeah, so the guy was charged with armed trespassing, loitering, prowling, resisting without violence, and several other things. Yeah. I mean, he looked. Legit, like a weird, like a weirdo. I mean, it just let's see.
Oh boy, naked robbery at a Florida meat market. Mm-hmm. That's a full sentence. A naked masked man. proves that pants are important.
He says, Florida man walked into a meat market totally naked, NEKKID. But he did have a face covering on. No shirt, no pants, not even shoes, just a mask. And it was at BJ's meat market in Lake City. He walked in totally naked, and his 24-year-old Kobe Watkins.
He Apparently on his escape route. There was clothing, so it's like he discarded his clothing on the way there and then left the same way that he came. Nobody was hurt during the incident. They located him, took him for a medical evaluation, and then to jail.
So he's got a bunch of uh. Um charges including the exposure of sexual organs. Just That you have to have some confidence to not have pants on and rob somebody. The confidence. Or crazy.
There you go. You know, another machete story: South Florida man was arrested, also naked, after a naked rampage with a hammer and a machete, and he caused thousands of dollars in damages. In Homestead, Carlos Guerrero, 38, was arrested after police say he was armed with a hammer, mallet, and a machete, smashing stuff inside of a home where he rented a room. In addition, he was totally naked, and then he also threw a bag of cement on top of a white Ford Mustang that belonged to one of the residents. He caused almost $9,000 worth of damage to the car, thousands of dollars of damage inside and outside the property, including to air conditioning units.
They arrived, they found him on the side of the house naked and just actively destroying things with a hammer. Lots of stuff swinging. Ah, so they took him into custody. Miami Dade. And then Guerrero told the circuit judge that he remembered her from juvenile court.
Wow.
So he's in jail. That's just, again, the crazy. I would be really afraid to be pantsless as a man swinging around a mallet. Just saying, really. Makes me nervous and I don't even have that.
plumbing, you know. Uh let's see. Uh da da da da da da da da da da da. We also have. Oh, some of these are repeated several times.
Do I have time for those? I think so. A Florida man robbed a Dollar General right after he was released from jail. Why? This is like the third or fourth story in the past like three months of somebody robbing a Dollar General.
It's a Dollar General. This is Rob Gronkowski from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules. Sunday mornings are sacred. I've got my game day routine. Coffee, jersey laid out, and my lucky playlist.
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I saw, let me go ahead and play this real quick because we were talking about Majuro and all that a little earlier. This is a flashback. Actually, not flashback. Listen to this. This is cut five.
This is. Tucker Carlson, who I've known for years. We got into a giant text message debate on my anniversary, my wedding anniversary, because we were disagreeing on things. And I'm true to my promise. I don't leak messages.
But listen to this, cut five. We can safely discount Democracy as a reason for effecting regime change in Venezuela. We're not going to go kill Nicolas Maduro because we don't like the way he's treating his people. It's possible we're mad that he doesn't allow gay marriage. That is a distinct possibility, but no one will say that out loud.
Not defending the regime, just saying. One of the most conservative countries In north. or South or Central America. Only El Salvador really comes close. Which is much smaller.
So he's basically saying that, well, his argument, and this is flashback to help it, to help solidify it. This is what he said a few months ago: cut four on Maduro, to help give you a fuller perspective of why he just brought up gay marriage with Maduro. Listen to four. Maduro, most people didn't know this, whatever his many faults, I wouldn't hire him as an economist, okay? But whatever its many faults has the most socially conservative country, probably in the hemisphere.
So, Venezuela is just a fact. I mean, I didn't make this up. I'm not in charge of Venezuela. What do you mean? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
They can't even. What? So, because he doesn't like gay marriage, that makes the murder of everyone okay. Let's look at socially conservative. Where does murder of dissent?
dissenters fit in on the socially conservative gradient scale of asshatterry. Where does that fit on that? I mean where w so the argument is that He was socially conservative. And that's why We were ousting him. There is this.
with these old Gen Xers. The old Gen X woke Reich and the Zumerwaffen, they love this idea of these tyrants being social conservatives so that makes them more palatable and acceptable. I mean, I'm just noticing fact. I mean, I didn't, don't get mad at me. I'm just noticing it.
But are they really, is Majoros really socially conservative, a guy who sells dope? Destroys families? A guy who murders dissent? destroys families? A guy who suppresses The populace That's some in any way socially conservative?
But because he doesn't like gay sex, that makes him completely acceptable, that reforms him entirely in your eyes. That's asinine, first off. That is miles wide, inches deep analysis that tries to justify tyranny. in the most illogical way possible. That is not I mean I was shocked when I heard it.
When I first saw the video, I had to go back and listen to it because I wasn't quite sure that I heard what I heard. I don't think the distinct possibility that Trump captured Maduro because of Maduro's opposition to gay marriage. Doesn't say anything about China. Doesn't say anything about Belton Road. doesn't say anything about the infrastructure that the United States owned and paid for with different companies to partner with Venezuela before the dictators took control of everything, doesn't say anything about the drone program with Iran, doesn't say anything about Russia's interest in being in close proximity with all of that power near the United States, doesn't mention any of that.
But decides to offer some offhanded, well, it's probably because Maduro, you know, he's a social conservative. Yes, you know, social conservatives love killing people with cocaine and drug abuse, and they love working with the Sinaloa cartels and Trendi Aragua. You know, that's so socially conservative to partner with violent gangs that murder people and destroy families, which is just a very socially conservative thing, apparently.
Now, I talk to him about this, but Tucker won't come on my show because I think he's afraid of a hard conversation. Tucker will not talk to me. This is a fact. It's in a text because it's going to be a hard conversation. And fine, I respect that.
I respect if you want to just go on friendly fire platforms. You want to just go on friendly platforms. And that's your right. That's absolutely your right. But I don't think that that helps to educate the populace about a conversation.
I don't think that that helps to give people a broader view of your position if you only want to go and talk to the choir because you're concerned that you're not going to be able to defend your ideas if they're actually truly intellectually challenged. And that's okay to be afraid of that. Just don't pretend that it's courage. or that it's analysis.
So, this is, I keep seeing this kind of stuff over and over and over again. From the same kind of people, right? Oh, but he's a social, but he's a social conservative. I. It's all right, he's a social conservative.
Somebody was trying to say that about Hitler. Who was as gay as the day is long? And you they were all saying the same thing. The Dan Blazierian, the guy who's never met a leg day that he liked. Trump just attacked Venezuela and Canette Maduro.
It's illegal under U.S. law. All of these same accounts started, they were tweeting literally the exact same thing. It's just an organized op. That's all it is.
It's an organized op. I I the whole thing is goofy. But it's where these like older Gen Xers that are basically baby boomers. And I'm saying that in terms of generations. And then you have the Zumerwaffen.
Which are the Zoomers who think that politics began the day that they fell out of their mother's female copulatory organ, and they believe that politics began that day. Nothing else has ever happened. There is no precedent. and they haven't yet met tyranny that they dislike. And they think that just socially is all it is without under understanding the relationship to the economic aspect of it.
Do you want to know when we were our strongest socially is when we were our freest economically? And the people who don't understand that are doomed to fail and offer you crappy analysis. This is shameful. This is Rob Gronkowski from Dudes on Dudes with Gronk and Jules. Sunday mornings are sacred.
I've got my game day routine. Coffee, jersey laid out, and my lucky playlist. But the real game changer. New morning uncrustables sandwiches. I've always loved uncrustable sandwiches, and now I'm all about the new flavors with 12 grams of protein.
Bright-eyed Barry. Or Up an apple. Bright Eyed Berry's got that flashy, finessy vibe. Like your favorite slot receiver, up an apple. Tough and reliable.
Like a do-it-all tight end. And players love them. Did you know teams crush over 80,000 uncrustable sandwiches a year? They know it's good. It's a snack that can go with you anywhere, from the couch to the tailgate or even in the locker room.
Soft bread, yummy fillings, protein-packed. Once it's part of your ritual, you don't skip it. Easy enough for Gronk to grab straight from the freezer. Your new Sunday kickoff ritual starts here with the new morning uncrustable sandwiches. Packed with 12 grams of protein.
And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. We're going to show you a video coming up after break of a new angle, uh, a new video angle on that woman who tried to murder an ICE agent in Minneapolis. It's one of the clearest videos out there, so a little bit of a warning heads up, but you're going to want to see it because they're going to try to make this George Floyd 2.0. Uh, let's see, looking at our headlines, we've got.
An elderly man plunged from his 15th floor and is miraculously saved. buy a clothing, a clothes hanger. From the flat below, from the little apartment below. He got saved. He was left lying on his back with those legs hanging in midair.
He was rescued, but he literally fell. On one of those, like, when it's for high rises, it's like these apparatuses that they put on outside of their window to dry their clothes outside. Wow, that is crazy. I mean, he was seven stories up. It looks like it was an accident.
I don't know how, but it was in China, of course. And yeah, he was rescued, but good heavens. Carroll County parents are using ChatGPT to name the New Year's baby. It's not gonna go well. Not stop using AI to name your babies.
They they said uh The first baby that was born on January 1st in America is Hudson Oakley Winkler. It's a lot of Ks. I like Oakley, but not when you've got a K in your last name. That's just too. Hudson Winkler.
I don't know. It's better than Oakley Winkler, I guess. That sounds a little too like, ooh. But both of his parents work in county government. Hudson's a nice name.
And they, I guess, used AI.
Okay, let's not get crazy with that. Let's not go overboard. A tourist on a remote desert island was stranded after a rift between US allies. This is crazy.
So, this, I don't even know where. This was an island between off of Yemen. Tourists on remote desert islands stranded after a rift between U.S. allies. It was air traffic at the island of Sof.
So Cotra Their main airport came to a halt because UAE and Saudi with Yemen, right?
So UAE withdrew its troops from Yemen. They had a deadline with Saudi Saudi Arabia. And Saudis and UAE are friends, by the way. But now, this little island off of the coast of Yemen, they had 600 tourists who had flown in, but they could no longer fly out.
So now they're kind of. Stuck. Why would you want to go off the coast of a country where they're having a crazy civil war? It's a desert island. It's not like you're going for anything other than just, I mean, there's other islands like that in the Caribbean that you could go to.
Just saying.
So, also, let's see. This is a sad story. It's a Florida boy story, but I didn't really. Florida man, we keep lighthearted, but also dogs are the best people. A little four-year-old boy disappeared on New Year's Eve while visiting his father in Alabama, and he had.
you know, the family's trusty, loyal black lab mix named Buck with him. The little boy didn't make it. He was found two miles from home, but that dog stayed with him. the entire Time. That dog stayed with that boy.
And so when they finally found the boy, they found the dog as well. And hopefully, that dog is taken care of for the rest of his life because it, you know, I mean, he didn't leave him. They didn't release cause of death for the little boy yet, but just horrible. They did charge the elder father. Apparently, he had chemical endangerment of a kid, not apparently the best parent.
You know what that means, chemical endangerment. Yeah, making meth. That's exactly what he was doing.
So maybe if he was paying attention to his kid a little bit more, that wouldn't have happened. I know it's hard to say, but some people need to hear it. This is in Ohio.
So it's not just in Minnesota. This is everywhere. This is a Somali daycare worker in Ohio. who lost their mind. On a journalist that walked inside to ask where to sign up.
Watch this.
Okay. Time back, this back! Come back. Holy shit, he just pushed me. Uh I'm gonna call the police.
They're in the parking lot. No cars are in the parking lot. All right, so the heck, what just happened? He just freaking pushed me. I just walked in there and he just started pushing me and screaming, get back.
Call the police. As you can see, folks, we had. All we did was go in. We were going to ask them questions. And we were attacked here at Jubba Daycare 614-269-7042.
Wow, right here in Columbus. All we did was walk in the door. Looks like there's really happening with a lot of kids there, doesn't it? How do you not verify this?
So they I was reading, and I didn't know all of this, I was reading up, like if you're going to be a daycare facility, you have to meet, you have to have like all of these different requirements that are met, you have to have outside facilities, et cetera, et cetera. All of the aerial shots.
Now, I don't know about Ohio, although I think this facility I read did not meet the requirements either. But in Minnesota, all of the fake daycare or sorry, learning centers, none of them met the requirements. They didn't have outdoor play areas. There were a number of things that they didn't have, the proper restroom facilities. How do you not check that?
How do you not check that? Do you realize that they do more? When you go to when you go to try to get a dog from a rescue, You are vetted more thoroughly than this? This is insane. For all of the stupid comparisons that the left makes, like I wish that my vagina had as many rights as guns do, and all that stupid stuff.
This is one where it actually rings true. Where you, I mean, it's literally harder to get a dog from a rescue than it is to get a million dollars to run a fake daycare in Minnesota. That is true. I, and this again, so also in Ohio, this Somali Research Center, this is Cut 12. If you're a research center and you get millions and millions of dollars, of taxpayer dollars with nothing you No vetting.
What would you expect to find when you walk in? If you're going into a research center that's receiving millions of dollars, Taxpayer money. What are you expecting to see? Cam, what are you expecting to see when you walk into that?
Well, depending what the business is, I would say them operating their business, number one, with their customers and their product and their Essential workflow right there in front of us for everyone to see. You're gonna be able to see. There's going to be, I mean, it's gonna look like they're researching something, right? It's gonna be busy. You're getting multi-million dollars.
Millions. I didn't say like a million, millions of dollars. This is cut 12. This is what this journalist found. At this Somali Research Center, watch or listen.
All right, guys, so we are here, we found it, finally, all day long. The Somali Education Resource Center, Suite 301 here at 299 East Granville Road in Dublin, Ohio.
Now, the deal is $14 million into this center here. This is a single office. And by the way, there's nothing inside it. We've already looked. It is very, very, very much dark, and it looks like there's maybe a couch inside.
So, not anything here. Very nice security system, which I found very strange.
So, I assume that they probably have now taken our video and everything of us standing out here. But there is nothing here. And again, Where's the money? That's the real question. Where is the money?
Because this the organization is supposedly $42 million over the past few years in taxpayer funding, and we have no access and we have no idea where it is.
So we're just trying to answer and ask some questions here, and we have yet to find anything at all.
So we're going to keep looking, guys, but this is what we found so far. Wow.
I um I'm a couch inside. Do you know that when you go for di for certain groups that are tax exempt. And I know this because when Andrew Breibart was alive, we ambushed Media Matters in DC, their headquarters, and demanded to see their 990. A Form 990 is what they have to. It's like this.
IRS determination letter that they have to keep, and it has all their information, et cetera. And you're supposed to be able to produce that if asked, if you're structured. uh in a ta if you have a tax exempt structure that requires it, like Media Matters.
So we busted into Media Matters one day, walked right in, you know, because tax exempt public building and demanded to see their 990.
So You that's allowed. But you can't walk into someplace that's received not just tax-exempt status, but literally tax dollars to the tune of over $42 million, as you've heard. And That's the What is enraging is that is just one office in Ohio. The other video was just one fake daycare in Ohio. The others are I mean, what is it, over twenty?
I think it's well over twenty. Facilities, and that's just in and around Minneapolis. That's not all of Greater Minnesota. This is state and local, not just national. This should be the biggest story of all time right now.
One of. And I fail to see why Americans should continue paying taxes under threat of a penalty. that is not enforced. against foreign fraudsters. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.
If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. The new year brings new health goals and wealth goals. Protecting your identity is an important step. Your info is in endless places that could expose you to identity theft, leading to lost funds. LifeLock monitors millions of data points per second.
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This is Julie Nettleman from Dudes on Dudes with Gronkin' Jewels. Sunday mornings, I've got my game day ritual. Coffee. Lucky socks. And now, new morning uncrustable sandwiches.
It's all about that 12-gram protein boost with the new uncrustables, bright-eyed berry, or up and apple flavors. Bright-eyed berries got a feisty. Receiver energy up in Apple. Your classic do-it-all tight end.
Soft, pillowy-packed with protein, and easy enough. for Gronk to grab from the freezer. Whether you're on the couch, driving to the tailgate or heading to the locker room. New morning uncruscible sandwiches. Are the MVP of snacks?
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