This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturalist. That's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bo and Yang from Los Culturist with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey Bowen, it's gift season! Ugh, stressing me out.
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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. Yeah. It's time for Florida Man. Ha ha ha ha.
All right, so first up. Oh my gosh, outside the 7-Eleven in Sarasota. What is happening? Giant alligator. was being wrestled outside of uh I mean, this thing is huge.
That's a person eating gator. Uh The uh This is crazy. He was outside of the 7-Eleven. I don't know what he's doing out there, but. uh man ten feet three inch long gator.
And they had to get a professional alligator wrangler. They couldn't just have Florida Fish and Wildlife. They had to get a dude who's used to these big ones. And he had to like get it to a crazy big cage. This thing is enormous.
And uh By the way, that's the second time that they've had to come and get a gator out of an area in Sarasota. But this thing was huge. The the first the first one was a fourteen foot one. Did they come that big? I didn't even know they did.
Holy cow, what are they eating down there?
So, I mean, and there's a video of it. They were, mmm, man, they run fast. Just remember if you're getting chased by Gator, zigzag, zigzag. It's literally all I remember. I feel like.
Learning how to run from a gator, stop dropping and roll, and learning how to get out of quicksand. I thought I would be on fire getting eaten by alligators and also like being in quicksand a lot more than I was. Than I am. I don't know. We got a lot of questions.
So that's crazy, though. Giant alligator. That's Juan showing you on the simulcast how big this thing is. Germany Christmas All right, so uh UPS sends a Florida man $500 after losing track of a package worth $45,000. Wow, it was a rare part for a large hydrogen compressor.
Gustavo Gonzalez was ordering it and It didn't they didn't deliver it to him. They gave it to the wrong person. and then they sent the unit back to the sender. It was Yeah. And so He was doing it from UPS's store in Hunter Creek, Florida.
And yeah, it was a piece of specialized equipment worth over $45,000. And somebody else signed for the package, and he repeatedly contacted them, and they only gave him a $500 refund. That's it.
So now he's got to take action against the yeah, because he's out $45,000. It's insane. Do you remember the lady? Who was wearing the red shirt at Target? And she was getting harassed by that what was her name?
Michaela Ponce. who worked at Eppen Health. And they actually are investigating her and they're trying to see if it I guess it If it goes up to criminal harassment, I don't, what town was that in? Because I don't even know if that's one-party or two-party consent state. that they were in any way.
The lady who is being harassed. Uh the internet came to her rescue. America came to her rescue. Her name is Ms. Jeannie Beeman.
And this is cut 26. She spoke out for the first time after this. Listen. I know people are calling for her to be Fired for this. Do you think that that's right?
Would you like that to happen? No, I don't think that's. That's right, like One thing I have is Two wrongs don't make a right. You know, she wronged me, but I don't want to wrong her, or I don't want her. Her wrong because it's not going to make it right.
I didn't. That was her opinion. She but she's the one that put it on Facebook or put it on Yeah.
So You know, but I I will really wouldn't want to see her somebody lose their job over it. Yeah. If anybody needs any grace, she's got it. She's got enough. She's got enough for everybody.
That is impressive. Because That wasn't my initial reaction and I still don't know if that's my reaction. But What I hope that Michaela Ponce watches that video of Ms. Beeman. And listens to her grace.
And I hope that the next time she encounters someone that has an opinion different from her own, that she gets over herself just enough, gets over her own selfishness, her own self aggrandizement. And maybe does the godly thing. of demonstrating grace for someone. just because they're wearing a t-shirt that you dislike. And it's not even a provocative t-shirt either.
It reminds me. of that um Do you remember, I know I wrote about this, let me look this up. Because this was back Uh During I think Two thousand and twelve, and I wrote about this. And It was in Tucson, Arizona. And this was in August of 2012.
And a man named Adam Smith, this is when people were protesting Chick-fil-A because they found out that the original owner, although now Chick-fil-A, is very different. But the original owner was Christian, and for some reason they decided to get all mad at Chick-fil-A about gay marriage and them being Christian. I don't even understand how it happened, but it did. And so they would have gay activists that were going through Chick-fil-A and getting a free cup of water. And then just trying to clog it up, I get in free water because Chick-fil-A was like, well, we'll serve you water, we don't care.
And he went up to the um Uh Drive-through window. And He was harassing this young woman who was at the register. She was the she was doing the checkout. She was Just there, she was super sweet. Very nice, and this guy decided on video, recording himself on video, harassing her.
this Chick-fil-A employee. And he was like, You're a hateful company. I don't know how you see at night or sleep at night and all this other stuff. And it was really I mean, he was so nasty to her.
So nasty to her. And she was very kind. But you could see the hurt in her eyes. You could see the hurt in her eyes. I wrote about this at the time, and she was just saying, Have a nice day, gave him his water, and she was just literally the picture of grace.
But you could tell it hurt her. And her voice shook a little bit. But she still kept her kindness. And he thought he was, you know, hot stuff. and he recorded himself.
I don't think.
Well That blew up. He ended up getting fired. And he removed the video, he made an eight-minute apology video. The only thing that we knew Was the the The employee, the young woman named Rachel, she only gave one interview. She said she did not, she's not like the influencers you see today who would like be running out and trying to make a career out of it.
She was like, nope, I'm happy with what I'm doing. She was engaged. She was getting ready to start her life. She liked where she was. And she said that, you know, she didn't understand why he was so angry with her.
and you know that it did hurt her, but she said that she did not want to return that hurt. And I remember her quote being something like: obviously, he was hurting, and I don't, I didn't want to add to that hurt. And I thought, oh my gosh. And she was. You know, when all of this happened, I think.
I mean, this was like in 2012. I think I was what, in my 30s? Or no, yeah, I was like 30 years old or something when this happened because she at the time was just a few years younger than me. And I'm just thinking, you know, it was very humbling because, you know, you see these videos and you want to go to war for these people. And she's like, no.
And she didn't want to do any more media. And she was so kind and so full of grace. This woman, Ms. Beeson, reminds me of that girl, Rachel, that worked at Chick-fil-A back in 2012. Miss Beeson's grace.
What an example of grace for this season. God loved that woman. She is amazing. That is the type of person people should be looking up to. Not these grifters.
People like Miss Jeanie Beeman. God love her. We got a lot more on the way. We had Florida Man coming up. Brace yourselves.
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Save a life today. This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturalistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culture Reastas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Bowen, it's gift season. Stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts with categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls.
At PWC, we bring the business why and the tech how so you can outperform every challenge, so you can do everything you do better than ever, so you can drive your company to the leading edge. Let's get started at pwc.com slash us slash leading edge. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five. Oh, Hunter Biden got disbarred, guys. I know you're so sad about that.
Hunter Biden was disbarred in Connecticut after, well, good in heavens, after admitting to a attorney misconduct. Over the gun charges, the tax conviction, and a million other things. It was a part of an agreement with the state's lawyers' discipline's office, but he did not admit to any kind of criminal wrongdoing, which I thought was interesting.
So he's not admitting to criminal wrongdoing, just. this.
So, hmm. I actually thought it was, I'm kind of shocked that it took that long, if I'm being honest. The Oscars bolts from ABC to YouTube starting in 2029. No one cares. No one cares because no one's going to watch your stupid, navel-gazing, self-absorbed movies that cover stupid concepts that regular, average, everyday people can't empathize or resonate with, that don't resonate with us because they're actually poorly written.
Most of it's all about getting the good actresses and then making the cinematography look good, but then everything else goes to. Hades in a handbasket. Having more muscle and less hidden abdominal fat gives you a younger brain. Interesting.
So My brain's probably like five years old now. No, I'm kidding. It's the benefits of strength training weren't extensive enough. A younger brain. It is super important to do strength training.
Holy cow, way important. Strong muscles, strong mind. I believe all that stuff. I think it, you know, it helps promote a bunch of other stuff in the body, releases all the good endorphins, et cetera. Bitcoin silent exodus hits crypto as longtime buyers cash out.
I feel like every day it's either a devastating headline about crypto or it's a headline that's super celebratory. There is never anything like, hey, just checking in. Bitcoin's okay. Never, ever. It's always one or the other.
It's just drama over there. The Earth would have three days to avoid a satellite catastrophe from a solar storm. This coming from a new calculation with these scientists, they're looking at everything from Starlink, et cetera, and they're saying that there a major solar storm could take down like all of our satellites. It could be disastrous. They said that in 2018, they had operators had 121 days to avoid a smaller Sort of accident of a similar nature.
The earth is currently in a period of solar maximum, meaning solar storms are sending coronal mass ejections that have resulted in the views of northern lights much further south than normal. That also messes with navigation, communication systems, things like that.
So, also. Oh, let me get this one. This is. Pull this. Oh, go on, go on, go on.
Oh, the former man, this is weird. Former manager of Harvard Medical School's Morgue and his wife were sentenced in federal court in Pennsylvania because they were stealing human remains and selling them. Oh, yes. Cedric Lodge, 58. He was sentenced Tuesday.
He and his wife both pled guilty to interstate transport of remains. Ooh, stick with us. It's kooky.
Now, look, I'm not gonna tell you, I'm not gonna use stupid phrases like starter guns. Starter gun is a phrase that's made up by executives who have never held a pistol in their life. And they're probably also low T.
So let's just get that phrase out of the way. We're not talking about anything like that. Here's what I'm telling you: I, I mean, I carried on my hip last night. I have no problem using lethal force to put down a threat. None.
I will do it joyfully and sleep soundly that night. That said, you got college kids that live in towns where they can't, they live, they're too young to carry a pistol and they need it for defense. Think about it: walk into the parking garage, walk into their classes late at night. one of my kids' friends has a uh final at like at it's six o'clock, it's already dark, six o'clock at night. Then it has to walk back to the parking garage.
This can be a danger. Or what if you have to go to a building for work where you can't carry and there's not enough security to make sure you leave and arrive safely? This is where something like a Burna gun comes in. It's about diversifying your defense weapons array. Burn a gun shoots chemical irritant projectiles that can deter threats from up to 50 feet away.
Now, if you look at regular stun guns, they've got like, what, one or two charges, maybe one or two rounds. With the Burna CL, the compact launcher, which I think is the one that you need to look at, it says a 15-round shot capacity, which is infinitely more when it counts. And the best thing is there's no background check. No background check. There's no permits.
There's no additional fees. There's no waiting periods. You can order it online and it's sent right to your house. Visit burna.com slash dana and get your burna cl stands for compact launcher. Burna C L, B Y R N A dot com slash Dana.
Ready when you are. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Boen Yang from Los Culturalistas with Matt Rogers and Boen Yang. Hey, Boen, it's gift season. Ugh, stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably 'cause they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.
Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls. I've got Dan Morgan here on the pod. Say hi, Dan. Hey, how's it going today? It's going good, man.
Tell us who you are and what you do. I'm Dan Morgan. I'm an attorney and a managing partner at Morgan Morgan, which is America's largest injury law firm. That's pretty awesome. Why do you guys think you win so many cases?
The insurance companies and other companies that we go against know that we're going to take it to the end, that we believe in the case.
So we fight for every dollar and we're not afraid to go that extra mile for our clients. Are insurance companies like actually afraid of you guys? We don't bluff. We take it to trial and we are not strangers of getting very, very, very large verdicts. Awesome.
So how does someone get in contact with Morgan and Morgan? What would I do if I got into an accident? Probably the easiest way is dialing pound law. That's pound529 from your cell phone. And our call center is always waiting to take your call.
24-7-365. Wow. Dan Morgan from Morgan Morgan, America's large injury law firm. Thanks for coming by the show. Thanks for having me.
Visit forthepeople.com for an office near you. Are you guys gonna go see uh any movies over Christmas break? There's a couple of movies I have my eye on. One's Chainsaw Man movie. Oh, yeah, that's coming out.
What about the George Floyd movie? You know, they're making a George Floyd movie, it's in pre-production right now. Mm-hmm. Oh yeah, you heard that right. Oprah's involved in it.
And so is someone called Lilteka.
Okay. Uh she's in the cast. You guys didn't know? A guy named Gregory Ramon Anderson is writing it. And it's a family authorized biopic of George Floyd.
capturing the life of the man who's become a symbol against police brutality and racial injustice.
Well, it came out later that he was like high as a kite, wasn't he? Wouldn't it like uh Remember Rodney King? Rodney King's apparently high on angel dust, and that's why he was so strong. Yeah. Apparently George Floyd was high on something.
But um By the way, I love on IMDb under the trivia. Did you see what's under trivia? It says the star of this movie was a career criminal, druggie, and pregnant woman beater. Oh my. Like how are you gonna make a George Floyd movie?
George Floyd the musical. Yeah. Just do that. called Daddy Change the World. Daddy beat a pregnant woman.
Daddy stole. Daddy was on drugs. Daddy fought cops. The movie's called Daddy Change the World. It's already gonna be heinous, I can tell.
I mean, you could do something on the Tuskegee Airmen, but heavens, no, we're not going to do that. Let's do it on George Floyd. You could do a great biop on Frederick Douglass. You could do an Oscar-level kind of movie with him. Nope, nope.
It's gonna be George Floyd. For crying out loud. What in the world is this? I'm sure this is going to be just a stellar film, Kane. Is it?
Who do you think they're going to cast as the woman he beats? Mm. That's a good question. I know. How are they going to make those bruises look?
Man, I don't know. Just saying unless an actual victim plays the victim. Yeah, uh I Why are it just like, again, Hollywood's celebrating criminality? Armed robbery. He was in jail in and out.
Drug possession. Counterfeiting. We have the autopsies. Oh yeah, we have the but you know. The fact that he just couldn't go out thugging meant the world was racist.
We have his criminal history. Yeah, but that's racist. What is? The Listen to this NPR from May of this year. Who George Floyd was and how systemic racism shaped his life.
I mean, he only served eight jail terms. on tons of violent charges. He was a prohibited possessor, but whatever. Racism made him do all those things. At least he didn't punch a pregnant woman.
That's well, that's also not, apparently. I mean, according to what's reported, that's not true either. No. Mm. Yeah.
Man. Just saying, yeah, he was in prison for years, in and out, aggravated robbery, home invasions. Uh he was a violent criminal. Violent criminal. And apparently, I mean, there's, yeah, there's a lot.
Technically, he did change the world then. Yeah. I'm just saying. I mean even After I mean, he was still in and out. Still in and out.
He, um Was people will say, Oh, he was in a rehabilitation that, yeah, but he dropped out. And, um Went back on drugs and still committed violent crimes. Why are we making like movies about this guy? What? There is no community.
black, white, or Asian or Hispanic or whatever. That is so devoid of amazing examples of each respective community that they have to devolve. to lionizing violent criminals. There's no excuse for it. There's none.
There's no excuse for any of this. That's like making a movie lionizing Hunter Biden. Except Hunter Biden wasn't as violent. as George Floyd. Good night.
Well, because Oprah's involved in it, you're never gonna hear the end of this movie. Because anything that she's involved she thinks she's an Oscar level actress. She thinks that she is like the best. And so, anything that she's involved in, you're going to hear it ad nauseum. I just can't.
But why? Why are people doing who first off who sits around and is like, I'm going to write this? And then who's gonna give money to like finance it? People who like watching their money burn, like the communities after George Floyd. Yeah, by the way, how does that work?
Are they going to, how do they do that on a wide scale? I mean, that's going to be a lot of Oprah money to have that kind of burning. You know, if you're going to be burning neighborhoods to be more accurate, that's going to be a ton of Oprah money to pull that off. Because C G Flames only look so good for so long, you know what I'm saying? I don't know.
Who's gonna play George Floyd? Ooh, how about Juicy Sommelier? Ooh, he can make his big comeback in the George. Who's going to be who is here's the big question. Who's going to be cast as Gwen Walls?
Are we going to get if I do not have a scene of Gwen Walls opening her bougie window in her bougie mansion and sniffing the air for the smell of burnt dreams and burnt communities, then this is an unjust world. We've got to have that scene. Just watch her like open up the window and give a big deep sniff. We almost need more cartoonish where she. You can see the waft of smoke in the air from the burning tires and then Like a cartoon.
Remember whenever the Bugs Bunny or whoever would smell some good food and then all of a sudden they would be floating with their nose following this trail. Like Warner Brothers. Yep. Kinda how absurd it has to be. Yeah, we need that.
Why is the window open, Gwen? Oh, I love the smell of burnt communities. Mm, so good. Let that waft in. Mmm.
That smell right there has a little cinnamon in it. That's the smell of a family-owned business, third generation, burning to the ground. Mmm. That's Gwenwalls. Remember, she said that she literally opened her windows to smell the burning so she could be in solidarity, which is the most.
Basic white progressive thing I've ever heard. You have this? Dear heavens, yes. I would say. Those first days, you know, when there were riots, I could smell the burning tires.
Yeah. Um Smells good. That was. That was a very real And I kept the windows open for as long as I could because I felt like that was such a touchstone of what was what was happening.
So she stayed hidden in her house. Yeah. But I cut the windows open. I mean, I didn't want to go out there with those people, but I cut the windows open. You know, it was a real thing as opposed to a not real thing.
Like, who says stupid stuff like that? That was a very real thing, as opposed to fake. I mean, and I just kept the windows open. You know, it's like a touch point. It's like solidarity.
Just love the smell of those. It doesn't when you smell it with her Chanel flats as she's sitting there in her bougie deck and Chanel flats. Those are $950 flats. Goodness, at least Hillary Clinton had the nerve to wear Tori Birch. I mean, for crying out loud.
Oh my gosh. Who doesn't keep the window open when tires are burning? By the way, someone noted, speaking of progressives that love to live above their pay grade, somebody was talking, hang on, I got to pull this up. Um I think it was Fannie Willis. And I don't follow all of that drama because it's just too much to get in the weeds.
And I got enough stuff on my plate with. all of this other. But s somebody was saying that Fannie Williams When she appeared in court, Willis or Williams? Willis, sorry, Fanny Williams. I was thinking of actually Andy Williams, who just played the music that we came into the thing with.
Fanny Willis. She, um Hang on, let me pull this in because I don't know what kind of bag. I don't even know what kind of bag it is, but I know it's super fancy. Oh, here it is.
Okay, so she was testifying before. The Georgia Senate. And she had a very Bougie bag That Was sitting a couple of you. Let me pull this photo up. She had this very bougie bag that she had just sitting right on the table.
And a friend of mine said, Oh my gosh. Because I don't even know what this is, and I don't even know how you can put anything in it, but okay. She was carrying a Louis Vuitton LV fan bag. which is a spring-summer twenty twenty five runway collector's piece. My friend looked it up and said, This is pre-tax.
over $10,000. It is not vintage, it is not thrifted, and it is not old. And my friend said, You can tell because there's no patina on the leather. The leather that Orangey leather is light. She said, if it was old, it'd be dark.
And she goes, They literally just came out with us. And so she is under investigation for misusing taxpayer dollars. And here she is showing up literally with a bag that after tax is over $11,000. Wow. Also, that bag is hideous.
Wow. I am speechless. I am speechless. Isn't she trying to act like she's poor? Yeah.
Here, here's the It's coated canvas with a cowhide leather trim, microfiber lining, gold-toned hardware, and a zip enclosure. It's the L V fan, a statement design that debuted on the Spring Summer twenty twenty five runway. This collector's piece is crafted from the monogram canvas. It can be worn crossbody, since you're so stupid you have to be told how to wear it, or carried by hand. And it's over 11.
Yeah. Pre-tax, it's $10,900. Um Wow. I am speechless That's crazy.
So yeah, Democrats. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. This message comes from the International Rescue Committee. The IRC has been providing humanitarian aid for more than 90 years.
The International Rescue Committee helps refugees whose lives are disrupted by conflict and disaster, supporting recovery efforts in places like Gaza and Ukraine, and responding within 72 hours of crisis. Donate today by visiting rescue.org/slash rebuild. That's rescue.org/slash rebuild to learn more and donate today. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them.
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