This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culturalist. That's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bo and Yang from Los Culturist with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey Bowen, it's gift season. Ugh, stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably 'cause they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto.
Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at Marshalls. A couch potato warning is in effect as DirecTV transforms Thanksgiving into StreamsGiving. DirecTV has got free TV nationwide. With a heavy front of 60-plus live channels and a steady stream of streaming apps, conditions are perfect for non-stop entertainment.
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AI produced. Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech.
Okay, so let me tell you about. About What Portland's doing. There's a piece up right now. on chapter and verse. Portland has a I don't know, a woke tree.
I'm trying to figure out what was going on. With their okay, so when you think of a Christmas tree lighting, what usually happens? Like, if your town has a Christmas tree lighting, okay, what happens? What tell me usually you find a central location in the city, in the town, they get this giant tree, they install it, and then they go forward with decorating it. Yeah, all the celebratory things around it, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
So At the tree lighting ceremony in Portland. They kind of did it differently. They had, I mean, what, a thousand or so people. They were in Pioneer Courthouse Square for the city's. 41st.
Uh Annual tree lighting. And they didn't really m they didn't mention Christmas. And they Event kicked off with, and I'm gonna try to get through this. a woman from the Confederated Tribes of Warm Springs, Thanking everyone for coming out on Native American Heritage Day. And then they referred to the ceremony as the tree lighting.
And then the microphone was handed to another speaker who decided to, who was a Hamas lover, and decided to use to chant chorus. quote free Palestine. And said, quote, this is the perfect time to bring this up. There are lots of genocides going on. Can I get a free, free, quote unquote, Palestine?
And then some of the crowd, oh, but it gets better. Then she decided. To lead the crowd in the strong woman song. Is this from South Park or is this like an actual song? What is the strong woman song?
I don't know. And I guess it's like a Native American, I don't know. I don't know what it is. It's just not appropriate for a Christmas tree lighting. You miss the mark here, you have one job.
And then she goes, I felt it appropriate since we're representing our matriarchs up here. uh and in our contributor piece over it. chapter and verse, you know, famous Christmas matriarchs like Jesus, right? the world.
So Then this was like an hour of this. They had a couple of Christmas carols at the beginning, and then it kicked into the Hamas stuff. I don't know. Then they had the mayor address the crowd, bring out Santa Claus, and then they switched on the tree. Apparently they didn't even say Christmas.
They just said tree. It's the tree. Man, it's not like that.
So there's a town nearby where we are called Grapevine, Texas. The main street, you can't even walk down it. It's so bright and the like the coated coated with lights. It's Merry Christmas, Baby Jesus, Nativities, Santa. You got trees, you got everything, and it's they call it the Christmas capital of Texas.
It is Ken, you know that you know that street. It's tell the folks how bright that them lights are. Yeah, it would put it would put the vacation home. To shame. Christmas vacation.
Yeah, it makes Christmas vacation look like amateur hour.
So, why does it? I mean, what's the problem in saying Christmas tree? Don't do it if you're not, if you're going to do this stupid stuff. No one wants to get hear you out there full ladying Hamas. Nobody cares.
Get down like nobody cares about all your you know your ridiculous Do they actually have a Christian up there on the stage? I'm curious. was an actual Christian on the Christmas tree stage. You got this terrace this terrace B up there. with her flag of a non-existent entity.
I don't know. I'm just I'm curious. Why does it, and people were asking, why does it have to be so divisive? Why is everything so?
Well, that's the left. That's what the left does. They have to ruin everything.
So, I don't know if they actually had any real Christians up there. You know, talking about the Christmas tree, as it were. It's the people over at Keltech. Keltech has a Peacekeeper program that they have introduced, and it supports those who protect communities.
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If you're interested in the new Peacekeepers program, you can use the contact form at Keltechweapons.com/slash Dana. That's K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com slash Dana. A couch potato warning is in effect as DirecTV transforms Thanksgiving into Streams Giving. DirecTV has got free TV nationwide. With a heavy front of 60-plus live channels and a steady stream of streaming apps, conditions are perfect for non-stop entertainment.
So hunker down on the couch and sign up for your free trial of My Entertainment from DirecTV. I'm going to watch some free TV. Start streaming My Entertainment from Direct TV now at streamsgiving.com. My free is free. Paid services.
Five-day free trial, then auto renews monthly. Cancel any time. Temporary credit hold may apply. Restrictions apply. See StreamsGiving.com for details.
AI produced. This is Matt Rogers from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Bowen, it's gift season. Stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.
Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls. Uh Today is World AIDS Day, and I've got some very good news for you. Today the UK becomes the first NATO country to open up every single role in our armed forces to people living with HIV and on treatment, meaning that they can't pass the virus on. This is a substantial milestone for equality. and enhances our warfighting readiness by valuing people based on their talents and abilities, not outdated policies and stigma.
We've been working closely with our partners the Terence Higgins Trust and the British HIV Association.
So I'm curious. First off, this is in Britain. You know, I guess the prevailing thought is: if you don't fight, you can't bleed. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you.
Top of the second hour of the chats at Rumble Channel 347 Direct TV.
So, this is a real thing. I'm not making this up. It's um. It is from the Ministry of Defence. It's in Britain, and and they are described as secure at home and strong abroad official axe channel for the UK Ministry of Defence.
and they're talking about World Aids Day. And in their post on X they say the UK is proud to become the first NATO nation to open up every single role in our armed forces to people living with HIV on treatment. You know, because it's Super easy to get the treatment in an active war zone, meaning they cannot pass on the virus.
So Their idea, I mean, seriously, if you're in an active war zone, how do you get a consistent supply of your treatment? Anybody? What is the cost of this also? Is the ta does does the br I mean, this is Britain, does the British taxpayer have to flip the bill for treatment? You know, I keep, you know, the song I have in my head right now is the AIDS song from Team America.
Eight, eight, eight. How bad is their recruiting? I mean, if you're if you're diabetic, you know, screw you, you can't enter. But AIDS, come on in. If you have like flat feet to the point where you have orthotics, you can't come in.
But if you've got the hiv. Come on in. You know, I'm trying to wrap my mind around this. How do you And then NATO? Where's NATO on this?
I mean, I don't know. They said we're the first NATO nation. Oh, yeah, you're the only one. You're going to be the only one. Imagine you're out on the battlefield and you're trying to, you know, you're a medic and you're trying to patch up.
Some dude that got blowed up, and you know, what if he's got the hip? And what if he can't get treatment? I mean, how do you get treatment in an active war zone? You know, it's real easy to get the stuff they need, right? This isn't Helldivers.
You can't just put in a code and have the shit beam it down to you. That's not how this works. It's not how it works. Doesn't work like this. Stop it.
Oh wait, I need to uh make sure that uh in my stratagems I get the HIV treatment. Got the HIV treatment that's just blasted down on Osha une, is that the correct? Yeah. You're not even listening. What are you doing over there?
No, not you. I'm just trying to understand this. How this Kane, would you? What I mean, you know. I just think of all the industries where blood could happen.
It's the military.
So, I don't understand. Are they really like, are they avoiding conscription by doing this? Or what are they? What's the effort here? It's like if it's a bad policy, the UK wants it.
Mm-hmm.
The dumber the better. They surely they, I mean, this is the stupidest thing I think I've ever seen in my life. And it's also such a like small number of people as well. I don't know. And by the way, apparently it costs British tax, it would cost British taxpayers.
About 400,000 pounds in treatment costs per patient. And that is according to the ukhsa.gov.uk. Hmm.
So, are you supposed to tell people, hey, it's not a big deal if you're a risky lifestyle? Choices that in which you engage results in you catching a disease that would ultimately cost the taxpayer 400,000 pounds in treatment cost per patient. You have the option of just not going in the military. You also have the option of just not being a drug user or a whore. There is that.
Dana, that's so mean. What am I supposed to do? Be like, oh, poor you. Who knew that you could get all these diseases by, you know, s screwing everything with a pulse? Who knew?
I just can't believe they did this.
Well I mean The the extent to which some people on the left will go to make it seem like they have a no problem with whatever issue you're dealing with. is crazy. I it doesn't no, don't type it in. What are you saying? Oh, yeah, the monkey pop.
They did it with monkey pop.
Okay, cane? Who were the people that got the the monkeypox? the gay people that engaged in Gave people stuff? Mm. Basket weaving.
Yeah, that was sort of what one way to say, yeah. Whether you're planting now or later, Fast Growing Trees has everything that you need to create your dream yard, starting with the best quality and selection of plants delivered straight to your door. As America's largest online nursery, they offer over 1,600 unique trees and plants, delivering healthy, expert-grown trees since 2005. From fruit and flowering trees to privacy trees and shrubs, they have all of the plants that your yard needs. Their Alive and Thrive guarantee ensures that your plants arrive happy and ready to thrive, all locally grown and cared for by U.S.
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With a heavy front of 60 plus live channels and a steady stream of streaming apps, conditions are perfect for non-stop entertainment.
So hunker down on the couch and sign up for your free trial of My Entertainment from DirecTV. I'm going to watch some free TV. Start streaming My Entertainment from Direct TV now at streamsgiving.com. My free is free. Paid services.
Five-day free trial, then auto renews monthly. Cancel anytime. Temporary credit hold may apply. Restrictions apply. See StreamGiving.com for details.
AI produced. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Boen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Boen, it's gift season. Stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably because. they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts!
With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto. Or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have. Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at Marshalls. And now, all of the news you would probably miss, it's time for Dana's Quick Five. Uh I'm pretty sure, Kane, is this an anime?
Species in Chernobyl, in the Chernobyl disaster zone, is mutating and it feeds on nuclear radiation. It's a black. fungus. Yeah. Whoa.
It's the blob. That's what it sounds like. They. The mutants of Chernobyl. It's apparently.
A dark fungi. And it displays a radiation hunting behavior.
So It didn't just survive the fallout. It...
Now grows faster when radiation is present and actually moves towards it. That's insane. And it gets, it has a radiation. eating superpower. That is It's given from melanin, the name of the I'm not gonna say this right.
The fungus is the C spherosperm. That sounds good. Yeah, it sounds legit. Uh let's see. A man was killed by a tree that fell on him while snow blowing.
That time of year, yeah, it is that time of year. Oh, this is sad. It's in Minnesota. National Weather Service said a man was killed by a tree that fell on him Wednesday morning. The 69-year-old was found by his wife, and the high winds, the tree was covered by heavy, wet snow, just made for a disaster.
Let's see this. A lost generation of news consumers. Surveys show teenagers dislike the news media because it's garbage. That's why it's absolute garbage. No shock there, no shock.
Also, the last super moon of the year. Do you watch this stuff? I don't. It's going to be coming up in December skies here soon. It's going to be 14% bigger than the last supermoon.
Apparently, it's Thursday. Stick with us, more in store. Can I save this story for you? Because you know 'em. We've confirmed a planet our uh the UN said that they When the UN says that they have planetary defenses, what they mean is our planetary defenses.
Yes.
So they said that Earth's planetary defenses are going to be observing the interstellar comet 3I Atlas as it races through our solar system.
Somebody said it had a heartbeat. What? I'm pulling this up.
Okay, yeah, so hold up. Here it goes. Let me pull this up. New York Post.
So there this one dude who s terrifies me because of all his science stuff. Avi Loeb said, he's from Harvard, he says it has a heartbeat, a pulse. that could provide evidence of artificial origin. A space turd's got a heartbeat, Kane.
Well, I mean, there's a lot of celestial bodies that give off a frequency, and I know he's a heartbeat. He said the pulses could be periodic thrusts for orbit corrections. or some internal cycle with the spacecraft. Mm. Keen, I just think.
They're finally catching up. Listen to me, aliens. Let me tell you something. Come to Texas only. Everybody else is weird.
Florida's all right, but be careful because you've got Florida men down there, and everybody's got machetes. Right. Tennessee is all right, but they get real proud of having some better gun laws than we do, so it makes me mad. You know, Oklahoma is great, but real windy and flat. They'll see you a mile away.
Just come over here to Texas, because we got brisket. Just come to Texas. You know. And don't go to California. Don't do that, 'cause you'll immediately get stuck with a fentanyl needle and die.
Don't go to New York 'cause you'll get killed by a bunch of illegal aliens. I mean, the dangerous ones. And just come to Texas. But I mean, I would be all right with this. What a nice fun thing for Christmas if it just, you know, that space turret just descended and it's like, hello, where's your Texas brisket could reduce the amount of abductions?
That's how good Texas brisket is. Don't abduct me. Here's some brisket. Right? Right?
But I wouldn't I wouldn't. I don't know. They said that there is all of these images. They were some of this stuff, I don't. They said the periodic modulation of its light has to originate from puffs of gas and dust That scatter the sunlight around it.
They said the puffs are periodic, like the bloodstream of a heartbeat. and it has multiple jets. which they speculated could be like advanced artificial thrusters. I don't know, and it looks like maybe an intergalactic Morse code. I don't know.
They said if it was a natural comet. Comet. that there would be some indic indicators for that. Uh so I don't know. It's Very weird.
I feel like this is a really long setup to something that is a psy up that they're planning. Like what? I don't know. Like, they want a one-world government.
So, imagine what would unify the world. Yeah, all these suckers are on their own. Hell no. I would want to enlist the aliens and then make everyone fall in line behind us. Yeah.
I mean, I'm enjoying these little stories and updates and the heartbeats and all this, but I think that there's a larger psyop in play with this as the narrative. You're not wrong to be nervous about that. You know, but it just needs just, we're the only, we're the leaders, only only come here. That's what I'm saying. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast.
If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Matt Rogers from Los Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Los Culturistos with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. Hey, Boen, it's gift season. Stressing me out.
Why are the people I love so hard to shop for? Probably because they only make boring gift guides that are totally uninspired. Except for the guide we made. In partnership with Marshalls, where premium gifts meet incredible value, it's giving gifts! With categories like best gifts for the mom whose idea of a sensible walking shoe is a stiletto, or best gifts for me that were so thoughtful I really shouldn't have.
Check out the guide on marshalls.com and gift the good stuff at marshalls. This time of year, most of us are checking off our holiday gift lists. But identity thieves have lists too, and your personal information might be on them. Protect your identity with Life Lock. LifeLock monitors millions of data points every second and alerts you to threats you could miss.
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