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Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast, sponsored by Keltech. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. It helps when you press a button. All right, so first up.
A Florida man who was accused of grand theft auto claimed that the repair shop. Let him, it let him take the car, y'all. because he was homeless. That's what he claims.
However, that's not really what the dealership is saying. They're saying that, no, no, no, or the repair shop. He stole it. This Florida man is accused of stealing a vehicle. It's from a Winter Haven repair shop, Christopher Rodriguez.
He's 27 years old. He claimed that his friend Bubba. Told him that the repair shop puts vehicles at the location so homeless people can use them. No, that's not the case. Rodriguez was charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle, possession of methamphetamine, possession of drug paraphernalia, driving while his license was suspended or revoked.
So it's been quite a bit. And he stole the vehicle.
So there was no Bubba. And no, he did not have the ability or the permission rather to take the. Vehicle from the repair shop. I thought it was like public transportation, I guess. Yeah, actually, that sounds right.
A Florida deputy captures the gator from a pool and straight up buckles it in a patrol car. I'm not going to lie. If I lived in Florida, now I know I say that, oh, gators, but if I saw one chilling on my pool and it was just small enough, maybe it's still a little chunky. I'd take it and it'd be a free pet for me. Free pet.
So, this is in St. John's County. A Florida deputy helped capture a gator from a backyard pool in St. Augustine before buckling him into the back of his patrol car. Video posted.
From the St. John's County Sheriff's Facebook page, shows the deputy wrangling the gator out the pool with these bare hands. Oh my gosh, it's a large gator. Yeah, so the deputy told the Gator, I know you're super mad, because it was hissing at him, and then he buckled it. In the back of the car, everyone was saying, Obviously, you grew up here.
And he told the Gator, he goes, You know what? Let me buckle you in. And the Gator was hissing. He was mad at him. And he's like, I know you're super mad right now.
You got to get in this car. Is that a pet size for Dana? Is there a larger than pet size? See, I feel like when I come. I have some friends that make fun of me and they're like, How you've never been gourd bitten or whatever is beyond us.
Did I tell you guys the time that I almost took home a coyote? What, yeah, that almost happened. Good lord.
Well, it was like coyotes down here are a heck of a lot smaller than the ones in Missouri. Like, in Missouri, you're like, that's a coyote, right? Down here, you're like, ooh, is that a sick dog? You know, it's just like they're very, and um, I I saw when I was like, ooh. Sick dog, he needs some treats.
And no, it was a coyote. And literally, after I almost try to get this dog, or sorry, coyote in my car, Glenn Story, who owns Patriot Mobile, he lives like down the road from us. He texted me. He's like, Did y'all see there's a coyote running around in the neighborhood? And he shared a picture of it.
I'm standing there. I'm standing there looking at the picture that Glenn Story shared and then looking at this coyote that's like a mirror like feet away because I'm trying to lure him to my car. And I didn't have anything but like a couple pieces of beef jerky and an old bag that I found in the back. Oh my god. And I'm like trying to get the, you know, it didn't, the coyote didn't come, obviously, but we were that close.
I don't know if Chris knows that. He's not... He's not anywhere in here. We had all of our guests leave, so I think he's outside, so he didn't hear that. We'll just not tell him that part.
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The gay games, I didn't even know that they had these. You heard about those? The gay games. Oh, they do. Denver.
is wanting to host the twenty thirty Gay Games. They had a lot of sports with balls on here. Gay Games 2030. The Gay Games in 26 are going to be apparently in Spain. And that's in Valencia, Spain.
And yeah, Denver's inching closer to hosting the gay games, Kane. What do you? You couldn't wait to do this, could you? This is a news story. It's part of the news.
I'm just. Here's my question. What makes the gay games different than other games? That was going to be my question. Are they still doing things like shot put?
Well would you like to know what some of the gay games are? High jump. Artistic swimming. What? Mm-hmm.
That makes sense. Uh uh I don't know what the hell that is, but it's uh a thing. I was trying to find out more about it on their website, but they literally don't tell you. Synchronized? I think it's pink speedos, from what I can understand.
I think we all understand that's probably. And. Body paint, and I don't know what else. That's I guess that's what That means the the swimmers are doing body paint? I don't know.
Artistic. Let me look into. Our to save I feel like it's a synchronized swimming thing, right? Like it would be that is pretty gay.
So Let's see. The Artistic gay games, this gay swimming, or the sorry, artistic swimming. Oh, yeah, I guess it's formally known as synchronized swimming.
Okay, so yeah, that makes sense. It's a cultural event that promotes inclusion and diversity.
Well you know. What does So, are they good at synchronizing their swimming or are they not? What does this have to do with diversity? No clue. I mean, do they Do they Hang on.
I gotta ask a question. I gotta pull this me button up. Like, do they stop, you know, for and have breaks for? Oh. I just want to know.
I think that's the only thing that's a good thing. I don't know and I'm glad I don't know. I'm not going to answer that. Just curious.
Okay, so the artistic, sorry, synchronized. Why is it not called synchronous women anymore? Right. That's kind of dumb.
Sorry, but that's done. That's pretty gay. To stop calling it synchronized swimming, to call it artistic swimming, that's gay. You know what? It's totally gay.
But you know why they would not call it synchronized swimming anymore? Because there's very little synchronizing going on. Is probably why.
So instead of calling it horrible swimming, they'll call it.
Alright, well they got that they have all the stuff with balls, bowling, basket. Badmitten. Beach volleyball. They got all that cheerleading. The gay games got cheerleading.
It's pretty gay. And I have that. They have dance sport. Oh, dodgeball. I would be rocking a dodgeball.
but not in the gay games. Uh let's see, kickball. Again, all the balls. Pickleball.
soccer, rugby, softball. Uh, let's see, what else have they got? Wrestling. It's gonna be a popular one. The wrestling.
It's gonna be a popular, popular sport.
So I basically you gotta wear pink. Everything I see it's like all variation on pink. But Do they not have straight sports that do things like basketball and beach volleyball and things like that? Are those Are those Do they, I'm just curious. Like, why do you have to have like a whole?
We have to have a whole sports competition based around how we have sex. But yet, sex isn't a part of the competition. It's weird. I mean, that's you know, it's the gay games. Like, you got to be gayer than everyone else.
That's what I'm assuming. Like, who is the gayest? That's what the gay games is supposed to determine. Who's the gayest one of all? And I'm looking at this, and I don't see Bader or Wourke competing in here, so I don't even know how you can even have a competition without competing against one of the gayest people in politics.
But. You know. Oh man, oh man. Tell me that I'm wrong. Steve, you were the one who was very excited about this story.
Shouldn't it be who's the gayest person ever? It does. It's the gay games. This is just boring. I don't want to go see basketball because honestly, it's going to be people who can't play as well.
If I wanted to watch that, I'd watch WNBA. Come on. Which, by the way. Why is that, Dana? Yeah.
Well, maybe, you know how they do? I'm surprised Cornhole's not on here. Do you know how they do?
Well, that's a competition. It's like skee-ball. I can't believe that's not on here. That's an actual competition. Ever wanted commercials?
Anyway, it's not going to happen. We still have like 10 other minutes. It's not going to happen. Not going to happen for you.
Sorry, I'm going to run this right up to the clock. Not time for the break yet, sir. Nope, no, we got time.
So, anyway, my whole point was: like, speaking to WNBA, they've been throwing like. int intimate items made of silicone. I think. Whatever whatever. On to the court.
Neon green ones.
Now it's like a meme now on social media. That could now, you could have that as a part of. The competition. The phallus throwing onto the court. It's like javelin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, how far can you throw this phallus onto the WNBA court?
Now, that would be, I'd be like, you know what? That is a competition for the gay games. I get it. I get that, right? Not a game.
I mean, that's not a competition. Otherwise, this is just like. J V stuff. I'm so bored. Like, don't sit here and be like, it's the gay games and then give me basketball.
Okay. What? Don't do the gay games and be like, well, here, guys, here's some cycling.
Well, yeah, cycling's pretty gay. But that's, you know, I was thinking more than that. You know, I'm just Come on. Is that a triple jump still a triple jump? Figure skating.
That's already gay. That's already a gay games. Every we just assume. How did I get it? Johnny Weir?
Hello? We had too long returned. You didn't get sued for that? Yeah.
No, it's only under 300. It's the gay games. Featuring Okay. Yeah, uh Badminton, the fallace throw, cornhole, and esports. They have esports.
Those people are gonna just not be good at esports. Cornhole. Oh my gosh. Esports? They're gonna have a whole- oh, for the love.
Maybe straight people should take it over and just be really good on the sports so that way they get, you know, then just how with when men are taking over women's sports. Oh no, it's the Straits. They're coming in. What is it? Are the gig games where women cannot perform the men?
I really don't know. Like, I just imagine there's like a lot of glitter and pink. That would be Speedos. I'd watch that. Like, this is a basketball court, sir.
Speedos are for swimming. No, Speedos are for everything. It's the gay games. I'm just. It's like a South Park episode.
Flag football, that is gay.
So, all right.
Some of these are, you know, I get, but I don't know. I just don't understand why it has to be its own thing. That's like saying, here's a bunch of, well, let me just throw out something, you know, like this is, it's the red-headed sports. Only redheads, red-headed esports, red-headed beach volleyball, red-headed artistic swimming, red-headed badminton. You know what I mean?
Or like people that have Four toes. It's the four toed games. Four toed ice hockey. Four toed rugby. Four toed tennis.
I mean, things like that, you know what I mean? Why? Why do this? It's the stupidest thing ever. The way that humans try to silo themselves off, I'm a part of this clique, I'm a part of this clique.
They're so desperate to be seen as being included into something. that they would actually participate. I just don't get it. I don't get it. Is winning bronze in the gay game something to brag about?
Yeah, I do wonder about those trophies. I mean, do they give medals? Do you get a trophy? Denver's going to host it? Denver, where you immediately step off the airport and you are consumed by plumes of pot.
And then there's like questionably home looking homeless people outside of every street corner. The last time I was in Denver, they were literally questionably looking homeless people outside of every street corner and everywhere smelled like stank. It smelled like a skunk's anus everywhere. It was horrible. Or Heineken, one of the two.
I mean, it's the whole city smelled like Heineken. Good break now. No, we're not going to break yet until I say we're going to break. That's just how it's going to be. We're going to roll in this, Kane.
Pretty sure it's time. You guys are going to regret ever bringing this story to me, ever.
So, yeah, you can embark on the journey towards inclusivity empowerment with the GG Den 2030. That's the gay game, whatever. Let's make history. Like, how are you making history? And celebrate the spirit of unity, diversity, and progress.
Progress with what? You're all still wearing pink. I mean, it's just dumb. You know, like, why? Our friends over at Keltech who make the program possible, the PR-57, you can actually have this as your daily driver, the PR-57.
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And now, all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's Quick Five. Little warning to some European tourists near Slovakia. Apparently, a man wandering around wearing nothing but a balaclava and plastic clogs. Actually, he's wearing crocs.
He's wearing crocs and he's. And a Balaclava and nothing else. And he's carrying an intimate Times toy on a stick. Has been scaring tourists while wandering around this historic castle in Slovakia. The unidentified intruder posed for a picture carrying his bizarre prop Monday near Giamis Castle.
And that's according to Slovakian television. He apologized to the female hikers who he scared the living daylights out of. Yeah, that's about it.
So he apparently was at the WNBA court and picked up one of them phalluses and taped it to a stick, and that's what he's doing. I'm not even making this up. That's an act. Juan can't even show you the picture because it's disturbing and. Eye bleach.
Well, we haven't. I don't think we're allowed that anymore. Also, we have. Francis Forcopola rushed to a hospital in Italy. I read this last night.
They don't know whether or not he's having surgery or not, but he was. He was there because one of his films, he was in Calabria with, I think it was Megopolis that he was doing a screening of. And he was also scouting locations for a new movie, which he was going to start shooting in autumn. But he apparently, some of the reports are saying that he was taken in for a planned operation in Rome, but then he was rushed to the ward earlier with an irregular heartbeat.
So he's hopefully everything is okay because we really like Francis Ford Coppola. Also, global outbreak fear surges the virus in China once again prompts quarantines, and thousands of new cases are reported. We're not doing it. I don't care. Moving on.
I don't care. It's a virus. We have viruses. Stop eating bats. Super easy.
Aging spreads through the body like an infection.
Now they're saying a protein could be to blame. It's protein HMGB1. And. What do you say? Uh oh four.
It's a protein.
Well, like a protein, not like a protein that you eat. But maybe manipulating this could be a key. I'm all for that. Yeah, totally up for that. Yeah.
Ark of the Covenant Mystery was blown open. They discovered it. Oh, I think I talked about this yesterday. They discovered a biblical relic. Also, Tesla handed Elon Musk $29 billion.
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Across the nation, those couple of summers in a row. Welcome back to the program. Dana Lash with you, bottom of this third hour. Joining me on this, great Texas Governor Greg Abbott, who joins us via video. Governor, I saw that you have laid down the law on this.
You have ordered these Democrats that are in dereliction of duty, have abandoned their posts, have abandoned voters, and they've fled to New York and Illinois, the most gerrymandered states in the Union, Governor, as you're well aware, to complain about something that Texas does every 10 years. Governor, I moved down here in 2013 from Missouri, and y'all were having this argument then.
Now it's finally happening because this is what states do. If they're unhappy with the results, governor, shouldn't they just win more elections? One, they need to win more elections. For another, a reason why redistricting is happening the way that it is is because we are ensuring that the voters in the state of Texas are going to be able to vote for their candidate of choice. And four of the new districts we are creating are predominantly Hispanic.
It just turns out those Hispanic voters chose to vote for President Trump. Those four districts will ensure that those who voted for President Trump are going to be able to vote for a Republican for the United States Congress. And so, Democrats are losing in the state of Texas to all voters, white, black, Hispanic, and their frustration is the losing. Second, let me go back to the way that you began. You talked about a knife fight or whatever the democrats are thinking or talking about they're doing You cannot have a fight if you run away.
They have run away. They can't reach us with a knife. Because they're up in Illinois, in Chicago, of all places. I don't know if there's a more gerrymandered state in the country than Illinois.
So, what a bunch of hypocrites they are. They're not fighting, they're drowning as we speak right now because they're gonna be held hostage and they're gonna be criticized by the people of this state. The people of this state, They have to go to work every day. If they were to break quorum at their job and say, listen, I'm not coming into work this week. I'm going to go up to Illinois or New York.
They would lose their job. These House members who are Democrats.
Some are going to be losing their jobs because they're not showing up to do the work of the people of the state of Texas. That's right. And they need to lose their jobs. What is there any? I realize that if they're absent from their seat for so many days, there's certain things that come into play and certain things that can be done.
In terms of defining what Throwing the book at them over this would look like. What would that look like, Governor? What would be the absolute limit in terms of penalties that you could levy against these lawmakers?
So we've dealt with quorum breaks before, and we've never thrown as much of a book against them as we are now. Here's what we're doing. One is we have arrest warrants out for all of them. If there are some in Texas, which I understand that there may be, the Texas Department of Public Safety is searching for them, will find them, and will arrest them and take them to the Texas Capitol. Those who are out of state, think that they are beyond the reach of Texas law enforcement and that they may or may not be.
But for one, when they come back. They're not going to go to their cozy home. They will be arrested and taken to the Capitol. But know this. It's my understanding that the FBI Is going to search for these derelict Texas House members in whatever state they may be in and help identify for them and maybe work with us to bring them back.
Point one. Point two is These Democrats They have received Money and benefits at their request to support them while they are gone. It is a direct violation of the Texas Constitution as well as Texas robbery laws for them to receive a benefit. skip a vote. they could be charged with second degree felony.
for committing bribery in the state of Texas. Third, and it happened yesterday. I filed a petition in the Texas Supreme Court that begins the removal process of these absconding Democrat members. And the Supreme Court responded immediately last night and told the leading Democrat in this cause, his name is Gene Wu, that he has to respond to my petition by Friday. Where we're going to begin the process of trying to remove these absconding Democrats from office.
That's this is all good to hear because you mentioned that they've done this. This is the third time they've done this in less than a decade. I think, what was it, a couple of years ago, this is the last time they fled, they fled the state, which is part of the pattern for them. We're talking to Texas Governor Greg Abbott for those just joining. You mentioned something that's incredibly important: the demographic of these districts, because they are predominantly Hispanic districts.
And one of the things that we've seen more than any other voting block, governors, you're well aware of, those voting blocks that are going towards Republicans, Hispanic Americans are really leading the way on that, more so than black Americans, more so than even women, college age, et cetera. It is a huge shift in this voting and this voting block. Obviously, that poses a threat to Democrats. They think that somehow by disenfranchising those voters, that's like a good way, that's good politicking. And there are reasons for the shift that, thankfully for Republicans, the Democrats have not yet figured out.
It turns out Hispanics in Texas actually do not like open borders. Hispanics in Texas don't like men playing in women's sports. They don't like transgender surgeries. They don't like all the leftist crazy ideas that the Democrats stand for. And get this, Danny, you probably have covered this.
The member from the U.S. congressional delegation. from Illinois, who went to another country and said, I think it was Guatemala, she was Mexico. She was more proud to be a Guatemalan than an American. Americans and Texans are fed up.
With that attitude by so many Democrats, whether they support Somalia, Guatemala, whatever the case may be. They need to be supporting the United States of America, period. And if not, they shouldn't be a member of Congress. And why the Texas delegation? dealing with a congressional-based issue.
Is up hanging out with members of Congress who are leftists like that. That's damning for them and their future. I would even imagine, too, that their refusal to come back into their jobs. I mean, this is one way to put it, because you got property tax relief that's up to special session. You have recovery for Texas Hill Country, you know, for flood survivors.
I mean, they're putting all of that in jeopardy, getting that done this session. I mean, that correct?
So that is correct. Dana, FYI, I am running ads in each of these districts of the missing Democrats talking about how we need to be solving the flood-based challenges our fellow Texans are facing. But we can't do it right now because the candidate in whose district we are running the ad has left the state. And so their constituents are hearing about this as we speak right now. But as you point out, it's more than just dealing with flood victims.
It's dealing with trying to cut property taxes. And there are so many issues that are so relevant to our fellow Texans. Our Texans care about those substantive issues, having their taxes cut more than the way the lines are drawn for Congress. And these the gerrymandering That they, the accusation that they use, Governor, I was looking at these districts, and of the five most gerrymandered, I mean, it's silly to talk when you look at the map, people, when they see this map, they laugh out loud. They can't believe it's real.
Five of the most gerrymandered districts in the United States, 32nd or 33rd and 35th districts in Texas, Democrat run. They look ridiculous, Governor. They look like a child's drawing. That does not look like a district. I mean, I don't know how anyone can make the argument that continuing to have a district gerrymandered is gerrymandering.
I just wanted to get your last thoughts on that.
So, hopefully, sometime you'll be able to show your audience what District 35 looks like. Oh, it's ridiculous. We've shown it before. Throw it up one.
So here's the deal. It's very appropriately named.
So this is District 35 and is drawn down the line of Interstate 35. It connects Austin and San Antonio through I-35. There could not be a better name district, but it is what the Democrats have in District 35, which is a Democrat district, is a horrible example of gerrymandering. And what we're trying to do is to fix that, to consolidate the district, make it so that the voters in that district are a whole lot closer to each other. Yeah, that makes sense.
That's a very sensible solution to all of this.
So hopefully these Democrats, if they don't come back, Will, Governor, you'll have law enforcement that will bring them back. Actually, I should say this is my last quote question. Can we just take, I mean, we can just remove them from office, can we not? I mean, I know states' laws differ. Missouri's is different from Texas, different from Oklahoma's.
We have that authority, though.
So, and the authority exists is under a legal proceeding called QuoWarranto. My point, and I made this earlier, I began that process yesterday with a filing I made in the Texas Supreme Court to bring the QuoWarranto to remove them from office. But let me just make sure that you and your audience and the Democrats know what I'm about to tell you. And that is Regardless of all these different proceedings. We know one thing for absolute fact.
We're going to get these maps passed. It could be this week. Could be next week, could be next month. It could be in a couple of months. They are wasting their time and harming their own families and harming their constituents by failing to show up.
We are going to get these maps passed. Get your tail back in the state of Texas. Do your job like every other Texan has to do their job and stop embarrassing yourself. There you go, right there. Texas Governor Greg Abbott, he laid down the law.
They can either come back or they'll come back. One way or another, they're going to come back. It can be easy or real easy. That's how it's going to be done. Governor, always a pleasure.
Thank you for fighting on behalf of voters. We appreciate it. God bless. Thank you. Me too.
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