Absurd Truth: RIP PBS

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Selection varies by location. While supplies last. Discount taking at time of purchase. Dana Lashes of Sir Truth Podcast. Sponsored by Kel-Tec. It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I'm trying to make this one make sense. So this was in Port Charlotte. A Florida man, now let's just listen to this one sentence.

Listen to this first sentence. A Florida man known to throw cans of food and other items around a Florida neighborhood, as one would do, and at others, was arrested after a neighbor said he threw canned corn through her window and broke it, per the arrest affidavit. This happened on April 25, a woman called Charlotte County Sheriff's Office to report vandalism. She said she was outside. She heard the sound of glass breaking. She turned around to find one of her neighbors, 38-year-old Earls Ernest Sandville, running from another neighbor's front yard back towards his home. The left front window was found broken at the top, like somebody threw something through the glass. The witness got a key from another neighbor in the neighborhood who watches the owner's house when she's away, went into the home to see what happened, and that's when they found a can of Del Monte corn inside. The guy apparently is literally known in the area. He goes to the food banks, gets food, and then goes and throws it around at people in cars and houses.

Because they need food? He has also thrown bottles of urine and chunks of raw meat. Oh. That's good. Yeah. So they're pressing charges because they go, he's always just throwing things at people. So why is he like, how long has this been going on? Apparently a really long time. So now they're actually going to finally do something and press charges against this guy.

I mean, that's kind of crazy that it goes even go on that long. Come on. A Florida man frustrated with the McDonald's drive-thru just tried stealing the cash register.

Okay. Well, there's other things you can do to express your discontentment. But this one, Cape Coral, the guy tried to steal a cash drawer at the McD's because he was frustrated in the drive-thru. It was four in the morning. Police responded to a robbery in progress, and they said he got into an argument with an employee, tried stealing the register, and took off in his car. They caught up with him. He was taken into custody. They also put his photo all over social media. Like, what? Like, control thyself.

Florida man was arrested for having three wives in three different counties. Yeah. It's not an okay thing to do, feller. They say, the women said that there weren't adequate safeguards to prevent it. I don't know, maybe being a little bit curious about what the hell he's doing when he's not with you. That's probably one safeguard, you know, just like your woman's innate suspicion. Do you really need the government to go, well, since you broads are too stupid to realize that he's got three wives in three counties, we're going to have to expand ourselves and make a law.

Come on now. They're saying there's no safeguards. He took each one of us to a county to get married, said one of the wives. They're looking, I mean, how does that happen?

How does something like that happen? He married apparently one of them within the same year, or two of them in the same year, in 2022. And I just, how would you not know? They met him on a dating app.

And I just don't understand how you wouldn't know. He was arrested for felony bigamy. And after the first wife figured out that there were two others. That's kind of, let's see, birthday suit bandit, naked Florida man caught trying to break into a lady's home. And then I got another story.

I'll save this for you for Monday. But a Florida man is he keeps up touching realtor's feet during open house showings. That's nasty.

He'll be nasty in a freak elsewhere. As we move our partners that bring you the program, our friends over at Kel-Tec, great company, great all American company. They got the PR 57, the rotary barrel pistol, the lightest 5.7 on the market, 40% lighter than competition. It's perfect for concealed carry. You can actually really concealed carry this 5.7. It's awesome. Unique top loading design replaces the traditional magazines with stripper clips for a slimmer carrier profile, slimmer carry profile under 20 plus one capacity. MSRP is only $399.

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Innovation, performance, Kel-Tec, K-E-L-T-E-C-Weapons.com. Tell them Dana sent you. Plan on flying? In order to board domestic flights, your driver's license or state issued ID must be a Real ID.

Learn how to get your Real ID today at TSA.gov slash Real ID or visit your local DMV. You guys remember the letter people? I remember the letter people. They didn't teach me how to read at all though. They were on PBS.

I just thought the song was catchy and it sounded like it was written by a long haired, barefoot hippie. And it was. Tall Teeth was my favorite character. Remember Tall Teeth? Tall Teeth.

He's got Tall Teeth. I remember that. Yeah, I had letter people.

It was entertaining, but they didn't teach me how to read. First off, welcome back. We're in a weird mood.

Dana Lash with you. We're at the bottom of this first hour. We're talking about the funding, the PBS stuff and how they're trying to, you know, the poetess has this executive order. Congress is going to sit here and twiddle their thumbs and not do anything.

And then it's all going to, we're only getting a reprieve from this because Congress isn't doing anything to codify it. But I didn't, I was a latchkey kid, like the quintessential Gen X-er. And these shows didn't teach me nothing. Although the stereotypes are true.

And Kane, you can attest to this. You know, we know how to get blood out of clothes. We grew up drinking hose water. We were filled with neglect. And yet we were still happy and, you know, pretty much thriving, you know, for the most part. Yeah, because we didn't know better. We knew how to make our own meals by like nine years old. Like we knew how to do all this.

You could throw us out in the middle of nowhere and we'd survive. I think by seven. I think I knew how to make a full meal by seven. Yeah. Like you would, you would run around the neighborhood all day during the summer and, and just basically hope that some neighbor gives you a sandwich. Like one of your, your, your friends' families would give you a sandwich. My favorite thing in the world, there's a, there's this one family, one of my friends, their family was, our family was kind of broke. I mean, kind of, we were poor kids, but, uh, we had a friend that was, you know, pretty well off.

Right. I mean, you know, upper middle class, they weren't, it wasn't like dynasty or nothing, but you know, they were pretty well off. But man, their mom would go when she would come back from the grocery store. It was like Christmas for us.

We're like, what? And she would have like all this lunch meat and then all the potato chips. I've never seen anybody buy like five bags of potato chips at the store. They had two kids and I mean, it was good eating. It was good eating then. Not that we were poor. I don't want to say like we were like, well, I mean, when I was a kid, we were, yeah.

When I was a teenager, it got a little better. There was like a lunch meat boom in the eighties. Like all the families enjoyed the old lunch meat.

Lunchables and hot pockets. I think I'm partially made of them. And that's how we used to categorize our friends, like based on what their moms would give us. Dude, right. Isn't that right?

That is absolutely correct. Some moms would be like, sure you can have Kool-Aid. And some moms are like, there's too much sugar in that. Oh my gosh.

The moms that made you drink just like fruit flavored water. That was abusive. You know, that, that right there, that that's abusive. Should have called division of family services on you ladies. Cause that was mean.

It's like you're drinking and you don't want to be rude and you're sipping it like. So nice. Tom's mom has Doritos. Oh man.

So great. And the ones, the families that just let you take the bag and you would run around the house or whatever with your friends. There's a special place in heaven for the moms. So, uh, yeah, that's, it just, I never learned how to read anything from these shows, but all of the leftists are like, there's going to be just an epidemic of stupid children. Well, they're already good. It's already happening.

You're already, first off that's already happening. Have you seen our test scores? Could all Randy Winegarden's out there getting hers and then screwed him kids. That's how she looks at it. But only that they're going to be able to sit here and tell you, uh, all the make made up genders, but they can't do math. So yeah, we were already struggling academically, especially compared to some other countries because our educational system is just insane and we punish really good educators and we reward the frauds and not on top of it. Then you have the frauds that are like, we need to teach people about, uh, you know, gay sex when they're in second grade.

Let's do it. That's not educational. It's brainwashing.

So no wonder these people don't care about these kids. I also think too, and I don't know why this fascinates me. It's very, I think it's very nostalgic compared today's kid shows to the kid shows of your right. I showed my kids one day, this is some years ago, Bugs Bunny, like old Bugs Bunny, Warner Brothers, right? And they were shocked. They were shocked. I forced them to watch it. I was like, this is good. We're watching Warner Brothers today. I think that's how I was that meme.

Yeah. I, we, I was like, no, I'm going to desensitize you to this programming, this societal programming. So they watched and they ended up loving it. I learned, I will say it wasn't PBS that got me into like classical music and all of that.

Not like I'm into it, into it, but I enjoy it. It was Bugs Bunny and killed a wabbit, got me into Wagner, killed a wabbit. That's, PBS didn't do that. I learned about all that from Bugs Bunny. I learned every bit of that from Bugs Bunny.

I learned about geology as an adult from Minecraft. So I didn't learn, we didn't learn nothing from PBS or NPR. These people are lying to you parents.

They're lying to you, lying to your face. You know what you get now on PBS? That bald whiny kid, Caillou. I'm just the cutest for each. I hate that kid. I, that kid made me believe in abortion.

I have never, I'm joking. It's not, no, but for him. Take that back.

I will not. I believe he should be aborted. Abort Caillou. Do the world a favor. That Canadian Weiner.

It's like a bald Justin Trudeau up there. Hate him, hate him to death. Oh my gosh, that show would go on. Happy Friday, everyone.

Happy Friday, everyone. Well, you all, you all, what, you think there are people out there in the audience that love Caillou? All you people watching and listening all across the nation. Y'all hate that kid.

I know it. But they don't let animation change their stance on abortion. I didn't, I just said for him, like I don't want him to exist like post birth. I'll, I'll get it given to a little post birth abortion just for the sake of Caillou. Some might call it murder.

Now we're going to borrow Democrats. It's not murder. If I say it's not murder, you know, can't stand Caillou. Can we have like a substantive conversation about why it's also dumb? Because how many stations across the country exist without a dime of federal money? They actually have a business model that allows them to exist. What?

What is that? Say government status. So over 15,000 radio stations across the country, over 2,500 broadcast TV stations across the country. They all have to operate without a dime of federal money. Maybe during election season is about as close as they get to federal money. So I, I don't understand how people can conflate the two ideas where just taking away federal money doesn't mean that they can't operate as a business.

They can do that if they want to. I don't understand why, what, what am I getting, what? I don't, I don't know.

I don't get it. I don't think they know how to sell anything. Of course, you know, it's all maybe get better, some better programming. I don't know. Julia Child had a program on there in the days of yours.

You can see some of it on YouTube. I mean, if you want to support it, support it. I don't care. But not with, don't force everybody to do with our tax dollars. And it's all community driven, which any successful radio station is mostly focused on the community.

Right. I mean, my big thing is the way that I see these, all I mean, I've seen a number of people on the left and like, I'm not talking about randos. I mean, you know, these are people who are on who are cable news commentators or editorialists. And they act like this is a formative building block for children.

They I think that they have, they have an outsized description of the role that public broadcasting plays in the lives of people, particularly children with us. Because every I mean, I have a million headlines here, where they're all acting like our kids are going to be dumb and not able to read and can't do math and everything's going to go to hell. Because so today. Yeah, because we're not going to be funding this stuff.

And we all know that that's a bit are there people who believe this? I mean, I just I argue it's because we funded this stuff. Yeah, is why all of our kids are so dumb. I mean, ma'am, our kids are dumb, you know, maybe there's our but statistically, as we see now we have a good like, we're talking above 50% that cannot read.

Yeah, at eighth grade levels and got worse over when everything got locked down. That's when Randy Weingarten and her in her surrogates, they just wanted to be able to have a vacation. Man that thunder it's so by the way, welcome back to the program, Dana lash it is storming Norman here in Texas, who boy. So again, I'm just gonna warn you. If the power goes out, we're going to be here in the dark, but we'll power through our generator will kick in, we'll power through. But there is a chance it's always a 50% chance that thunder is crazy out there. It's dark.

I do suspect maybe a tornado came. If a nadir blows in here, you know, just saying, just saying, I had a couple of other things I want to hit. Because we have the I mean, I have a lot on the budget, you guys want to break from the budget, you want me to keep going with the budget because I got a lot. They're also I mean, they're looking at slashing, let's see, the way that NBC Oh, he's slashing everything, but growing the military kill her. Well, the Constitution actually only allows for military funding, if you want to be really pesky about it. They allow for nominal amounts of public funding for things like, like, maybe arts, arts, things like an Article One, Section Eight, where they get into essentially about preserving American culture, ultimately, is what it goes down to. So there's different, you know, to create like, like an arts arts endowment, things of that nature. They there's there is some nominal federal support for that, but that that's all going towards preserving American culture.

Not like we're going to fund all of this extra pork nonsense. Our partners that help bring you the program, our friends over at All Family Pharmacy, they've got you covered whatever it is that you need. Is it any of the medications or therapeutics that the system tried to keep from you during lockdown, you know, things like ivermectin and hydroxychloroquine, which are so completely safe to take. I mean, they even allow pregnant women, they sometimes will suggest hydroxychloroquine for them. You know, that because you can't rush through experimental injections and hand Pfizer multi billion dollar paydays, if you if you don't ban therapeutics, this is the thing like they they just not well, they didn't just dismiss alternatives, they outright destroyed them.

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And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. Well, today in Delco, which Steve gave us all a lesson on, you heard a hawk tua, now meet hawk pua, a crazy woman.

How do I put this? She literally did a do on the hood of a car during a little traffic, a little minor traffic fender bender. A mountain dude? Uh, sure.

Yeah, she mountain dude all over the hood of that car. What? Now that's gross, yes, and it's so, there's a horrible video of it and we're getting ready to show you because it's Friday and of course. We're showing it? Yeah, we're doing it.

Why? We're doing it live! We're doing it live, Kane! Um, I'm just more impressed that she could do it on command like this than I am anything else. They arrested the woman. There's another video of her being arrested, but apparently it was in Delco, which Steve said is a very culturally significant part of Philly. And this woman, I guess she got rear ended and then got out and rear ended that car in a whole other way. She ended up being arrested. I think that, I don't even know what kind of legal violation that is, but yeah, here she is getting arrested.

He beats you? I have a sickness! Yeah, she does have a sickness. That's right, girl.

You do gots a sickness. That's exactly correct. Oh my gosh.

Uh, let's see. Also, a man is in critical condition after he plunged from the stands at a pirate game. What is happening? 21 feet! What?

Oh my gosh! How do you do that? How do you fall into the stands? That's what happened with this feller. They stopped the game in Pittsburgh. Players were obviously shocked. He's in critical condition, 25 or 20 feet. Fans and players alike were both horrified. He was taken to the hospital where he remains in critical condition. They said it was a terrible accident, but man alive. That's a two story drop.

Yeah, that's a major drop. A British woman, 115 years old, named the world's oldest person. 115.

She was born in 1909 and she takes the record after a Brazilian nun. I don't know what her secret is. I bet it's like whiskey and something. That's usually what they say. It's funny.

Let's see. Oh, apparently Hillary Baldwin. I don't care.

Are they going to get divorced? I don't care. Nobody cares about that fake Spanish tart. Nobody cares about her and her murdering husband. I know.

We have a lot more on the way. Stick with us. I hate musicals, right? Golly, I hate musicals. My mom took me to Cats when I was like 13 years old and it ruined me for life. I have no idea what that was about. I told you this before, I think. It just is like a bunch of furries and they sang some song about memories and that's I think all I remember. I thought it was about cats. It's not.

I really don't know. It was weird and to this day I have no idea what happened. And I just don't get it. It made me hate musicals forever. She made me go see Wicked one time. I wanted to die. I wanted to launch myself off the balcony.

I wanted to yeet myself into the floor below. I just didn't care. I'm not into musicals. I'm not into all that stuff. And now you have a musical where they want to celebrate. I'm not making this up.

This is New York Post. Luigi Mangione. They want to do a musical about him. That's kind of a pretty short musical, isn't it?

I mean, he ran up and shot a dude in the back and ran away. I mean, what is there? Is it going to be a song and dance? Is he going to be like woo with a gun and woo going up there to shoot this dude?

I mean, how does that work? It's called Luigi the Musical. Now, at first glance, I'm not going to lie. I thought this was like a Super Mario Brothers thing.

And then I'm like, oh no, it's this guy. He's like ruining that name, right? And it's going to debut in June. And they say they're going to be bold and unafraid about what he did to leave two kids without a dad. Now, the opening night is already sold out.

What does that say about how stupid people are? The opening night is already sold out. Do we even know who the cast is? I don't think so. I mean, there's some names I don't know. I don't know who these people are. I don't know who the theater kids are. I don't pay attention to that. I mean, to stay true to what the left has been doing with entertainment, they should probably find a black female to play that Luigi lead.

Why do they do this? I'm just waiting for the musical about Diddy. The Diddler. The story of Sean Diddy Combs, right? I'm just waiting for that. Is he going to make an appearance in it? Is he going to come out with a dancing part? Who's going to play Diddy? They should get out. I mean, to make it truly Netflix, they should probably have a blonde woman play him.

I just want in the world. So they said that it's going to be surprisingly thoughtful and funny and blah blah blah and show tunes. And they said, Luigi is your new favorite felony. What?

That's the tagline. As if you didn't hate musicals enough. Felony or felon?

Felony. They said the songwriter, Ariel Johnson, and the director, Nova Bradford, said they drew inspiration from Chicago, the musical. And they had a snippet that they had behind the scenes footage that they posted.

And this song is horrible. One of the lines was, I'm not kidding you, this is a line, flash those pearly whites. There were cameras there that night. And that's what let the police take me in. The guy named Johnny Stein is apparently playing Luigi Mangione. And that's a reference to him pulling down his balaclava to smile at the New York Youth Hostel clerk.

And that's how they were able to get a good look at him. This sounds like the dumbest, this sounds like a high school musical project. I mean, as if you didn't have enough reasons to hate musicals.

Jazz handed up. There's nothing about the story to glorify. There's nothing about the story to glorify, no matter what position you're on, there's nothing to glorify other than murder.

Is that what people are doing? Apparently, I mean, they love, the left loves their murderers. I don't know what to say. I mean, they literally had Earth Day earlier about a dude who composted his girlfriend. He loved the earth so much he murked his girlfriend, chopped her up. Compost her, he's just composting her for the planet, you know. You can justify anything if you, you know, pay tribute to one of their stations. That's all you gotta do. Thanks for tuning in to today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth Podcast. If you haven't already, make sure to hit that subscribe button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.