Absurd Truth: I Went To Space and I Liked It

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It's his life mission to make bad decisions. It's time for Florida Man. I need to tell you about this hairy caterpillar. Okay, so Florida, you got not just Florida Man and Florida Woman to look out for, you got the Florida Tussock, which is a moth caterpillar. They're emerging looking for a place to cocoon. They are all over everywhere. And they if you see them, don't touch them. Don't look at them because they can give you a rash. There are these hairy worms, caterpillars, whatever.

And they're trying to find a place to make their cocoons. If you do come in contact with one of these hairy caterpillars, you're supposed to remove hairs. Just shoot the damn thing. Remove hairs with tape. Wash the area with soap and water.

Apply ice or baking soap. Why do we have these? You know why flamethrowers were invented?

Oh, people burn their houses down, dude. Sorry, but there was a hairy caterpillar. I don't know what to do, officer.

Well, we understand that, ma'am. Boys, she set her house on fire because she was trying to set alight this furry caterpillar. It turned into a nightmare. She discovered a man renting the home that she was going to, like she was moving into and didn't actually own the property. It turned into a whole big thing.

We'll come back to this tomorrow. Audio soundbite 15. I can't stand playing this 50-year-old woman's audio soundbites, but she's lied about her age so many damn times. Nobody knows how old she is, really. It's like, don't be ashamed of it. Just good grief.

But she's like 50-something and she tried to pretend she was like a 20-year-old Taylor Swift fan. I don't know. But she, let's give you some insight. This is why you have like all of this stuff on the left that, you know, violent, violent, crazy people on the left. Listen to how they idolize individuals like, for instance, Luigi Mangione.

Listen to this. You're going to see women, especially, that feel like, oh my God, right? Like, here's this man who, who's revolutionary, who's famous, who's handsome, who's young, who's smart. He's a person that seems like this morally good man, which is hard to find. Whenever I look at her cheeks, I think of squirrels storing nuts.

I wasn't, I said it on like when the video was playing, you guys couldn't see. A man who's, who's famous, who's handsome, who's young, who's smart. She doesn't even know this guy.

I mean, I get being desperate for a man in your life, but focusing on like that guy and having that guy because you think that there's nobody else. I'm sure there's better looking crazy women than her that are writing them letters in jail right now. Can you like dumbass broads stop fetishizing stupid beta males like Luigi Mangione who runs out in broad daylight to kill an insurance executive because he's a dumb rich kid trust fund socialist moron who doesn't understand how insurance works? Can we stop lionizing these stupid people? Stop making stupid people famous.

Stop putting stupid broads on television to talk about stupid people and how they think that they they should be exalted the way that she was doing here. This is so he's not a revolutionary. He's a female copulatory Oregon who tried to gun down someone in broad daylight. He would have been pistol whip within an inch of his life and only identifiable by his teeth if he tried to do that anywhere else. And I say that with a promise, not like as an example that would have happened anywhere else other than Manhattan, where everybody's been brainwashed into thinking they can't defend themselves from homeless perps on subway platforms, because they'll be the bad guy if they do.

Nonsense, absolute nonsense. I hope they string this guy up and throw the book at him. I hope they throw all the books at him. I mean, just bring him out in the square and have all the people who are mad about this stuff beat the hell out of him like they did Mussolini. Let's just do it like that. You guys want violence?

We'll satisfy the left's just lust for violence and a sense of justice by allowing the left to beat him to death, hung up in Times Square. How about that? There, I solved everybody's problems.

Me, the soothsayer of the era, I solved everybody's problems just like that. But for real though, more seriously. There is something psychologically wrong with people who exalt this stuff, right? But time and time again, that's what you see on the left.

And Cain, how long is this? Do you remember all the Occupy Wall Street stuff when people would get arrested at Occupy Wall Street and they were like, oh, that person was just protesting. They're such an icon. Every single person that got in trouble.

I remember in the early days, they like made an icon of them. But not only that, they didn't even require them to get the proper permitting like everyone else was required to do. Like, Occupy Wall Street was just given this green light and open door to do whatever the hell they wanted without permits, without anything like everyone else was required to do. So they were definitely a protected class. I remember that. I remember having to pay for a porta-potty for a Tea Party protest, 2009 downtown St. Louis, and then Occupy literally got to put up tents in the park and live there for a couple of weeks. And they didn't have to get permits for anything because the rat-bastard Democrats that run my hometown, that's how they tried to, it was situational fairness. It's exactly how that, exactly how that all worked out.

So I don't know why we're we're elevating this type of stuff. And that's why that's why the left thinks that violence is okay. This dude, I don't know if you know his whole backstory, he looks like a nut job. But he also is like, apparently, you know, anti-Semite. I don't like saying that someone's like, you know, a crazy person unless they actually are legitimately mentally imbalanced, because that is so that's, that's purposely conflated with evil by the left. And they're two very different things. Just because someone is evil doesn't mean that they're crazy. And just because someone's crazy doesn't mean that they're evil.

But the left needs that conflation. I don't know, it's, it's, it's unfortunate. And, well, then you got this. Wait, do I have time for this because I have a whole thing on media. Then we've got this.

This is audio soundbite 16. Listen to this spin from the media. About a third of the building has been blown away. And while America's roots are soaked in bloodshed, violence in the country today is mostly from right wing extremism, from Oklahoma City to Charlottesville to January 6. There is simply no equivalent on the left. Hmm.

Well, okay, first off, that's absolutely insane. And I think that there's been a lot of debate as to whether or not Tim McVeigh was actually a person on the right. Notice how they don't go back to like the weather, the weatherman, that group, they don't go back to the weatherman, do they? Weather Underground.

Oh, Weather Underground, whatever, same people, a bunch of dippy, hippie, meteorologists, wannabe terrorists, let's put it like that. They didn't go back to that. They stopped at Tim McVeigh, who, you know, was not a Republican or a conservative or anything like that. They didn't include Occupy Wall Street. They didn't include BLN. They didn't include Chaz Chop.

They didn't include any of the left's protest. And that is CBS. Who is that? That's Andrew Sullivan from CBS. Or, yeah, O'Sullivan, yeah, from CBS, who's saying that America's roots are soaked in bloodshed. Sorry, CNN and violence in the country.

It's mostly from our, that's, that's absolutely asinine. Every bit of violence that I've ever seen perpetuated has been from the left. People who have tried to come to my, and this might be anecdotal, but there's police records to support it. People who come to my house to try to hurt me have been on the left. People who tried to get me in public have been on the left. The reason that I had to have a security detail when I was advocating for Second Amendment rights was because crazy ass leftists tried to kill me. They wanted to kill me. They wanted to kill my family. We had to get security at my kids' school.

We had to, like, assure other parents. We had to do all of this stuff because of the crazy left, the crazy violent left. The people who sent death threats to my house were on the left. The people that the, that our police actually were looking at for said death threats, they, everybody, it was all agreement. These people were motivated because I didn't think like them. And it's not just me.

Look nationally. Look, look, who are the people in the red hats that were getting their faces punched in because they went out in public? Again, we had another protest outside of Tesla in our town square this weekend. You know, the old violent leftist hippie boomers that were out there, and those are the bad boomers. And I swear to you, if I have to delineate this one more time for drivebys, if you think that I'm talking about you and you're a boomer, then I'm talking about you. If you understand the nuance because you have multiple brain cells and you realize that I'm talking about the bad communist boomers.

Do I need to write a picture book for these drivebys? Then you understand that I'm talking about them. I'm not going to sit here and tickle everybody's jimmies and make sure that they all feel cupped and embraced. Okay, stop it. I don't give a rat's ass about people's feelings that are driven by a complete lack of listening comprehension. Are we established that?

Okay, great. So that being said, everybody that I've ever seen that have ever been violent, they've always been on the left. They've always targeted people on the right. Trump supporters get together and they have a rally and I'll be damned.

People open fire and try to kill the president. That guy was on the left. The other guy tried to kill him again. He was on the left. They're always on the left.

Notice how CNN very artfully omitted that from their stupid little diatribe here. I have nothing else nice to say about these people. It is our friends at Kel-Tec. Got my hands on it. Shoots like butter. Well, not butter. I mean, it's like a dream and everything runs like butter. It's great.

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See terms and conditions 18 plus. Elon's not cutting Medicare, just the billions and waste of it. The Watchdog on Wall Street podcast with Chris Markowski. Everyday Chris helps unpack the connection between politics and the economy and how it affects your wallet. As the left freaks out claiming Elon Musk is going to cut Medicare.

Remember during Obamacare when health insurers got double paid by Medicaid for hundreds of thousands of patients and our government didn't check? Whether it's happening in DC or down on Wall Street, it's affecting you financially. Be informed.

Check out the Watchdog on Wall Street podcast with Chris Markowski on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. And now all of the news you would probably miss. It's time for Dana's quick five. So apparently there was an earthquake that just hit the San Diego area. What's the 6.7 apparently earthquake that just hit the Southern California San Diego area so far it's not trending yet on social but it was just like minutes ago so we'll keep an eye on that. POTUS has authorized the Pentagon to take over public land at the southern border. They've been planning for weeks to potentially use this Pentagon controlled zone as a place to temporarily hold illegal entrance. It's actually a pretty big section. I was shocked when I saw on a map how much land this is but that means they're going to have the military down there and it's going to be a no go zone. No bueno right there.

And that section of the border. Measles cases have risen to 700 now and some are saying that that's more pressure for RFK Jr. I don't know why it's more pressure for RFK Jr. Texas has the highest number. I mean I've got some theories. Got theories. Sure it's just 712 approximately new cases being discovered in Kansas, Ohio and Indiana also now according to the CDC.

They say it's an outbreak and it's spread to 25 different states now. Denmark has a new oh interesting. A recent study out of Denmark has raised a very troubling question. Could tattoo ink play a role in the development of certain types of cancers?

Interesting. It comes from Futura Sciences. It's this that cites this study from Denmark. They say the particles can travel to lymph nodes or even other organs. The skin's body's protective barrier. Some are wondering is it toxic?

Is it could there be like a chronic immune response that may lead to abnormal cell growth over time? And they say that tattoos covering large areas bigger than the size of your palm may be linked to a higher risk and that supports the idea of what they say is a dose effect. Meaning the more ink that's injected the greater the chance of triggering an inflammatory response. Black and red even common ink colors could contribute to this. Researchers caution that if the body doesn't tolerate the ink well it could lead to long term inflammation. I believe that but I also think it extends beyond that. I think it's the products that like you use lotion, you use hand lotion.

Anything that you put on your skin sunblock all that stuff. I think all of that stuff is you know can is part of that. Let's see police officers dress up as Batman and Robin in a bizarre undercover sting. Well if you thought Dana does this have to do with Britain? Yes it does.

It does absolutely. They are doing the sting operation to catch con artists on Westminster Bridge. Very popular area for tourists. So they had metro police officers running through swarms of people reprimanding suspects, catching suspects. They are using creative tactics because criminals began recognizing the police from afar. And so it's the Lambeth Met police. They started dressing up as literally masked superheroes and it's pretty interesting. They've actually been catching these people running these schemes there and it's funny. That's actually hysterical.

Although the bucket hat makes me think it's not legit but you know. And the man was arrested. Oh gosh why. This isn't Japan. Of course it is.

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Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to ChumbaCasino.com Chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like Spin Slots, Bingo and Solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to ChumbaCasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law.

21 plus terms and conditions apply. Democrats now insist they have a huge momentum shift after those special elections turned out pretty much like we thought they would. President Trump has the audacity to claim he should be able to decide who works for him.

And Trump makes the media look like Wile E. Coyote again over comments about a third term. I'm Greg Kourambas inviting you to join Jim Garrity of National Review and me each weekday for the Three Martini Lunch podcast. We'll give you the good, bad and crazy news of the day and hopefully a lot of laughs too.

Follow the Three Martini Lunch on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. Can I talk about the Blue Origin thing really quick? I know everybody loves space travel.

We mentioned this at the top of our first hour. Katy Perry because you know that they went up with Lauren Sanchez. Lauren Sanchez is the only one of the celebrities that can actually fly a chopper.

Then you had three crew members, Gayle King for some reason and Katy Perry for some reason. And she is so overdramatic, it's tiring. Women like that exhaust me.

It is exhausting. Men, how do you put up with it? For real, I don't get it. I was talking to a girlfriend of mine over the weekend and we're like, how do men deal with like dramatic women?

We hate them like normal women hate over dramatic women. She's vowing to put the A-S-S in astronaut. She thought that sounded I guess I'm not kidding. She said that. That's something that she had said. Part of Blue Origin's all female crewed mission that went up this morning. And she gets out of the, well they went up in the air in a giant phallus. She told Elle magazine, space is finally, space is going to be finally glam.

If I could take glam up with me, I would do that. We're going to put the A-S in astronaut. Those were her quotes.

That is a grown 40 something year old woman's quotes to a female magazine about going to outer space. Wow. What did you say, Cain? We have cuts 21, 22, and 23. No we don't. No we don't. Are you serious? Okay. I don't know. We did 21 already.

We can do Gail King here. Cut 22 if you want. No. It's 23 when they were all screaming. Is it? I think that's the one. Oh gosh. I'm sorry guys. I gotta play it. Oh it is.

Oh gosh. There goes the phallus. Into the air. It's a giant space bomb.

It's going into the air. It's what it is. I'm sorry.

I'm not going to apologize. I mean, what else does it look like? No that's not AI. It's a giant space bomb. They're going up in the air. When they landed they were all screaming. That might be the crew.

There was one when the capsule landed right as it touched down in Texas. And when they took the mics of the women inside, all you could hear, it actually was distorting. All you could hear was ahhh. I don't know if you find that. I mean, it's so loud. All it sounds is just like shrieking. But they went up and those were the, Katy Perry is now getting blow back because they're saying that she was try too hard. Duh.

She got out of the space dong and came out and she held a daisy up to the sky and kissed it as a tribute to her daughter named Daisy and then she got down and she like kissed the earth. You're so dramatic. I have never gotten that dramatic over anything in my life. Nothing in my life have I ever been that dramatic about.

It is so performative. And it doesn't mean that those people feel more than you or I would feel. It just means they're ridiculous. That's all it means. But they I just I don't understand like those quotes that she gave those are I'm not making any of that up. That's actually what she said to media when they were asking her about this. And she said, I'm we're gonna put the ass an astronaut like the astronauts before did not have backsides like what are you going to be jerks in space? Like I don't what does that even mean?

Why didn't they why didn't the report I would have said, Katy, hold up. Um, does that mean you're gonna you're gonna like, bitches in space? What does that mean? Like, I don't what when you say things like that, what does that mean? Or when space is going to finally be glam?

And they go, Well, what could you what would you take? Because they they they went up in full makeup. You know, you know, if it's only 11 minutes, they're going to be I'm not begrudging that but it's just so dramatic came. I it makes me not like space.

Yeah, this is it's weird. Why did they have to come back? I mean, I like Lauren Sanchez, but why did and the crew members but why did this other two have to come back?

Especially her? That's the design of this particular flight. Is Isn't this like something that they're going to offer now people for a certain price, where they can just go up for a check out space million? Yeah, for a little bit and then come back home screaming?

Yeah. I mean, we don't even have to have the giant space dingaling to do that. We can just like yeet them into the stratosphere for free, you know? You get a powerful enough trebuchet get a nice counterweight on that.

You can just you know, yeet and they're gone. Science. Science.

Love science. I noticed that Lauren Sanchez was the most normal one that got out and the crew members. The crew members in Sanchez were just like whatever. And Gail King was oh my gosh. And I don't know if Oprah was there.

She's back in front of Oprah. I don't know kissing the ground. Yeah, they're kissing the ground. Like you were out there for 11 minutes.

Start or the whole thing lasted 11 minutes. You were up there for like two. Come on. Calm thyself, ladies. So this is why I don't like riding roller coasters with women. So I don't like I wouldn't get on the giant space phallus to go to, you know, space with women. I just can't I can't even. I don't know.

But to say that, like, that's the those are the quotes that you give to him. So you imagine you're a young girl and you're like interested in being an astronaut or maybe working for SpaceX and you see Katy Perry, who had a really failed last album, but whatever. And, you know, she, you know, is doing an interview about this and she's like, we're gonna put the ass back on astronaut and take glam up with me. What does it even mean? Take glam at space?

Who are you trying to impress in space? No one's gonna buy her album there either. Sorry. I'm not sorry. It's true.

What else do I have here? Yeah, why did they have to come back? Like send them up there, but just leave them there. You know, I'm except for I like Sanchez. I know she gets a lot of gruff. But she flies a chopper. She does all this other stuff.

Like she actually has some skills. So, you know, but yeah, why they have to bring them? Why do they have to bring them back? Chumba casino has all your favorite social casino games like Spin Slots, Bingo and Solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to Chumba casino dot com now and live the Chumba life.