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February 12, 2020 6:00 pm
Open the Crossroads connection is the show all about having conversation surrounding life, ministry and culture. I want to say quick thank you to our friends at the Truth Network for airing this program will hey every body we are here with another episode of our crosses connection show. I am Tyler, I'm joined by Jamie. Our show producer Jamie how are you doing yeah really excited to be here and we got our host Andy George, the one and only Andy excited to be here. I am very, very, is always excited to be here.
Thank you Jamie for being her thank you to Tyler meant any time. This is one of my week.
It is really a highlight of the week for us and I hope that it's up highly for everybody listening right now as well Yemen so Andy one word to describe our show today. One word I won't wear metal edge Milledge W okay to know what we're talking about marriage and I am excited that we've got broad powers with the centerpiece in here. We are to be interviewing in just a little bit towards the end of the broadcast.
But I'm excited about this. Yes, we are talking about marriage were also doing something really exciting this year in 2020 Crossroads Fellowship crypto people more about that absolute we are in the year transformation and I I am in love with the steam for our church and our church people and honestly am in love with it for what I know it's going to do for the surrounding area for the Raleigh triangle area for families with us can do in schools and neighborhoods and go.
This is all about transformation and what that really means and looks like for us is that we are walking to the Bible from Genesis always through revelation starting January 1 of the end of the year and were doing it as a church and what's even more exciting for me is that on Sundays we are actually preaching out of what we all just read that week so it is a it is a powerful powerful experience when you allow the word of God to really transform us instead of just you know preaching messages that are good and topical. And whatever the nothing wrong with any of those there's something real will begin the Scripture and just allow Scripture to transform who we are not real real excited about that for the sheer fact, if you want information wherever you're listening from, you have to be at Crossroads do this, but I encourage you to Crossroads.org/2020 Crossroads.org/2020 and you can actually download the PDF of our Bible reading plan there's links to the apps there that you can actually worries the Bible app is a church as well as links to the sermons and catch up. This is a fantastic way for all the church her kids ministry students, young adults are dull classes.
Everybody is on board with it and wrote excited, so wherever you are, will encourage you to jump in honest no matter what time your listener. This is jump in and join us. It's a great time for us to be doing a gear of transformation really is, in fact, we had a clip from a recent sermon.
Let's go ahead and listen and then we can discuss is a theme that is woven through that is so important, and that theme is holiness. You cannot get away from God calling his people to holiness. So this morning I want to do is identify the main verse and this is the main verse.
It's in Leviticus 19 to an organ impact of couple different areas.
It is says this speaks to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them, you shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy.
And so there you have you had this amazing verse of Scripture. You see it elsewhere. Woven in Scripture that God is calling his people and I'm telling you, I'm just telling you he's calling us today in the same way that we serve a holy God. And he wants his people to come to him and be holy like he's holy he's drawn a line in the center. This is how you used to live in this. I want to live in. If you require holiness from us to tell you here's the problem with holiness is the problem. The big problem with holiness what God is calling us to do is that we want to define what holiness means. That's the problem.
The problem is that you and I want to decide how to define holiness and facility. We got but we just saw the over 66 books right here. It is probably you and I have only just how you gods already define holiness for us is already define what is good and what is Nokia what is sinful what is not sinful. He's already called us and showed us exactly how were supposed to live our life. The problem is not that we don't know the promise that God is a showed us the promise that you and I just want to do it. That's the problem. The problem is that you and I want to find. Well it's not that bad.
Which holiness means you is holiness actually mean what it means what it says that it needs your set apart that you're different that you're not like everybody else. The gods called you and I to live a standard of life that's different than everybody else and it's true yes, but what's happened is that we in our culture, just like the Israelites were so ingrained in our culture were so ingrained with what's politically correct. It was culturally acceptable that tell you we've lost sight of holiness.
We lost sight of what really holiness is actually meant to be so a lot for just a few minutes today I what is it mean to actually be holy. What is it mean for you and I how do we actually do this and see this happening there. One is this pursuing holiness means that I have to face my own sins first. This is critical.
This the starting point just like it's easy to pick out every else's flaws. It's easy to point out everybody else's sins look at every else and say here's all the stuff you're doing wrong. It's not so easy to do that for herself yesterday go that was a I loved preaching that sermon on holiness so that message was the pursuit of holiness on the Leviticus and the main verse as you her number. Leviticus 19 to which says to speak to all the congregation of the people of Israel and say to them, you shall be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy Yemen. It was really good. I think a lot of people are church were really pleased and surprised me. They didn't really enjoy reading through Leviticus that much, but I think they really enjoyed your message Unpacking.
What can we take away from this and I about halfway that clip you mention above a big problem that we have. I try to live and walk in holiness. Can you write one factor that in the other is a problem.
Holiness is simply this, that we want to define and we have define holiness instead of honestly just letting the Bible and what God is Artie told us that's already been defined for us. We don't have to try to redefine holiness and redefine what is good and what is bad what is clean.
What is unclean. What is sinful we are, what is pure, what is on sinful and we have a tendency in our culture to really allow culture to dictate and define holiness and what that's done is it's really water down the holiness message in my opinion and I think that's very important to know that holiness doesn't mean that were better than anybody else doesn't mean that we look down anybody else. It doesn't mean we walk around with this air of pride and righteousness of about us. It really means that we are just allowing God's word to dictate for us, what exactly holiness needs to be and then live by that. So you don't answer your question in a short way is that we've define holiness instead of allowing God's divine to define holiness yet will then what is God's definition holiness yet. So let me tell you for things real quickly that I think holiness means the first thing is that holiness means that I have to face my own sins first Internet passages were reading and it's a wonderful passage where Moses and Aaron are then praying for the people and going to the people. What you see is that Erin actually gives a sin offering first for himself and he prays for himself. First make sure that he himself is right, then he's able to address the people and I was reminded of the verse in Scripture talks about how we want to pick out the speck of dust and some else's eye and we get a plane coming out of her own. Ayanna causes hypocrites for doing that and says no if you worry about the plank in your eye first, then you can better see the help the person get the speck out of there. I think we got that backwards. I think we are so I was his face to me how it's easy to point out sins and everybody else know you and sometimes it might even be fun but you know it's a lot easier for me to find the flaws in Utah. There are you Jamie than the have to look at myself in the mirror and deal with my own stuff so I think that what holiness means going off of Leviticus is that we got a deal with their own sins first. The second thing that I think is the product. I think this is just so powerful is that holiness means that I bless people not curse them. We see Aaron doing this. Once again, Leviticus, he comes out from the tents with Moses and this is that they bless the people. Now these are the same people that God wanted to kill the same people that Moses is frustrated with this is right after they built the golden calf and it's all still in this timeframe, so they're dealing with what God calls stiffnecked people.
And yet Moses and Aaron come out and they decide to bless them and set a curse them and I just wonder what would happen as a result of this pursuing holiness. If we decide to bless people and set a curse them so like they were talking, as I said about marriage. So what would happen if we decided to bless our marriage is that accursed instead of calling it over calling it wonderful or recalling, hopeful, and instead of the old cursing our kids or our job, our workplace or school. Instead, we go in the mindset of blessing it is seen with our bosses.
So instead of cursing our bosses behind their backs would happen if we just bless them. I think there's something to that, that God is calling us to bless people and not the curse of the third the third way in the third meeting of holiness is that we have to build the distinguish between clean and unclean.
That was a command to Moses to Erin to decide what is clean and unclean, and then tell the people to live a certain way. I think that absolute holiness means that we gotta distinguish between clean and unclean. Let's face it, I mean come on I can say this somewhat as a blanket statement. I'm sure that there is people that this might not apply to, but I would think that most people know what sin is right tell you no incentives yeah I think I had a pretty grip on what is right and wrong. Then Jim Jamie got a pretty good understanding of right and wrong right I would say that more counselors that I am positive that you both you. I know idea. So then why do we sent what we sin because we choose to try and make the most people know what is right and wrong. Not everybody there's always an exception during a politically things that are like I know lying in a situation is wrong yet you do it to save my skin exactly and I'm saying that with your Christian or non-Christian people know right and wrong for the most once again, for the most part you know people know what right and wrong is and so we had a snooze and follow the fourth thing, which I think is so critical when it comes to holiness is that holiness by definition means and I'm set apart God wanted to set apart his people. You start to see this in Leviticus.
You see this in the and Neil. The first five books were God's calling people. He's calling a nation. He setting them apart and as Christians today we we have been set apart by him we been bought by him basically by the blood of Christ is purchase dozen has set us apart, were no longer the same as we used to be. Titus chapter 2 on the wrap this up with this with this verse here in Titus chapter 2 verse 11 to 14 it says for the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people. Now watch what this does is this is still in line with holiness, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age. My goodness, what would happen in our culture, we just did that we just that alone would think about what would happen in marriages. Once again, or in schools or in workplaces around the triangle. If people would just renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and stop trying to define it, it's already been defined. It's already there ungodliness in the Bible is Artie define. Trust me, God spends a lot of time in Scripture listing all the things that are wrong and sinful and bad. We just follow that and we just set aside the worldly passions that really don't lead to anything and really focus on living, self-controlled life. So I think that if you want to find holiness real quickly to wrap it up. Holiness is living a self-controlled life it's living in upright and godly life and I like how he says it in this present age. That's to me is what holiness really truly is all about unthankful and easy for you and a lot of other pastors that have been preaching through this Bible not shying away from Leviticus and really walking through that. I know it's been transformative for me and a lot of people have been talking to absolutely and I'm excited to honestly to have our special guest with us here right after the break room talking superpowers and you want to talk about transformation and and how to live life a certain way so here's what's here's the beautiful Thai and this is we discussed talk gotten talking about what holiness is in transformation is and here's Brooke Powers and her an organization centerpiece that are trying to transform marriages by helping marriages understand that there is a godly way to have a marriage and once again it's already defined its Artie to find if we just follow it then we should hopefully when talk to the expert here in a minute when he was really taken a quick break and come out of the break talking the Brooke Powers from centerpiece. But here's a quick word from our sponsor. Perhaps you've asked yourself this question.
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So Brooke you are here because you've got a fantastic organization called your centerpiece and so let's talk about that for a few minutes somebody what it is what you do.
The vision behind the mission behind it thinks I am your son pieced as an educational nonprofit and our mission is to proactively build solid marriages and how we'd see that as they actually advertise at these huge bridal shows there's hundreds of vendors there about helping people prepare for their dream wedding. Well, nobody's there to help them prepare for a forever marriage and so that's kind of how we uniquely positioned ourselves there to really impart on the couples. The idea of preparing so let me to you as we work with couples couple to couple semi-train up marriage mentor couples match them with a couple of that is thinking about getting married again, show, or even in the first few years of marriage and just never had mentoring her pre-marriage preparation and we walk them through a curriculum and the curriculum is Simba saving your marriage if it starts to number one pre-marriage curriculum on the market designed by Drs. Les and Leslie pare out yeah Seattle and we just asked working with these couples and preparing them for the journey of marriage has all of us are on the table. We know it's a journey that seasons are great. Some of my time by having some tools and another couple cheering and can make all the difference in those tough times absolutely. So what what are some of the biggest conversations that you have found that are so needed for alien engaged couple meeting on one of the things I love the dew is as married people as a pastoral debility is one of the highlights of my being a pastor it's always fun having premarital counseling consumer.
This couple to think everything's amazing and scary. Also, and it is hopefully can be amazing and awesome into you start talking about who's going to do the finances in your relationship and also things like awaiting thing about that. How many kids you can have wood and think about that when you do a Christmas time when you got your dear family traditions and your family to Isaac and work so what are some of the outcome of the pitfalls you guys try to catch before you get married to identified to help them with one of some of those areas so that assessment that we use is 300 questions and comes out in a 15 page report that's totally unique to the individuals who took the survey and they take a separately report comes back on that we talk about personalities and how they match. However, if there like Jeremiah and I are on the opposite side of the personnel and how that dynamic in play out. We also talked about swears which is a hot topic, how money was handle what we mean by chores seemingly who's going to do laundry in the dish as well let the roles in the household that you grow yeah what your expectations are being one of the biggest thing that in that first year of marriage we all remember that like that lately. This is my mom do my laundry for me and my laundry and phthalate we have that conversation we talk about money and we talk about intimacy. We talk about hot topics that they have already identified their dating relationship and how their addressing and even communication habits, like right now they want to communicate and how some barriers that they have to get communication like devices and help them with some tips on how to have real intimate dialogue writing so you very talked about this a little bit about why why is what you do, so important, so that's per se. Answer out some numbers. How them.
Mario bad on this day and age, millennial's are the biggest demographic that are getting married and italics 34 to 24. 60% of them didn't have mom and dad while they yeah yeah 84% of them downlines get married that they've never had an example of marriage so here they are.
They want this thing, but they don't really know how to do it and we see culturally in the United States.
About 50% of marriages fail. So you have this arising demographic that wants to do marriage they they wanted their hungry for education, but they've never seen it done right so the opportunity for all of us to mentor the next generation as marriage mentors is a huge because they are hungry for information they don't know how to do it but they wanted to write right and ends and that's why we are at these shows just pressing on them and cancel certain way, the importance because without marriage mentoring is a 50% chance they are going to make as a couple with eight hours of pre-marriage.
Pratt ego from 50% to 81% while while that's a huge jump yeah and you really think about that. They don't really see it model, the majority of millennial's come from broken homes so they don't see what a healthy marriage. Looks like so who then is telling them what marriage looks like it's culture it's it's TV, it's movies, it's other people. It's people that are getting married and decide to live together, and you people think that that's normal.
And so now you guys have the opportunity to jump in. So with that you have a story that you can share I'm sure you out on the stories is one that you can share with us guys now and I mean my personal story. Jeremiah and I didn't have pre-marriage preparation and we we left each other. We got married up in Michigan and moved right away down here for work and my parents had both been married before they married each other has cancer high school sweethearts we had very different upbringings and so nine months into the marriage like we just cannot communicate and sell ice that had just clearly married the wrong guy can't be me. As always, you have a lot of compassion for people and that by. It was through education really that we came together as a couple and in fact right here at Crossroads we we participated in the young couple classes and learned so much are counseling here and through the classes so I felt like that's really why got pressed this nonprofit on my heart to get this started, but then we have our client stories to Larry, we have couples that have been deemed fair five years and they're very satisfied and content that relationship and on line couple comes to mind really say couple. He is special forces with the Army really likes to prepare you now rain here. He's got a plan. He prepares and he knew you wanted to get married eventually but just wasn't quite sure if that was a time and so he and Marybeth decided to come through our program and in the third meeting he proposed to her in the actual meeting I think is right that they've got pictures of everything is really the and now it's so cool because she's on fire for that program. She is a counselor and she has some of her clients and refers him to last, but she's also now under Board of Directors and programming committee because she believes and what were doing and the process there Catholics out a were able to do the precancer their church but they can start until I got engaged and she really wanted that on the front and this is possible.
You to prepare that's wonderful and so how does it work so if a couple comes in. You have marriage mentors was the process for them to become a marriage mentor to come to qualify them to build the do this. Okay, so we are our marriage mentors to quite the processes that they have their initial application form we get reference letters from them either their children or their pastor or somebody in their community so they come in I referred then they start training process. They got their two hour counseling visit whenever counselors and counselors on create a summary for us so our programs only as strong as their mentors have a right married there and I'm going to 15 hours of training excellent in order to become marriage mentor that is that's very strong and powerful's that when when a couple comes they know they're sitting across so that normally they are married and have their own experiences to bring to the table but they've been through 15 hours of training, which is wonderful so you're also nonprofit and so how can people support you give more information.
How can somebody say my wife and I would love to be part of the how can they get a hold unit.
What are some of the next steps we we are a volunteer Ryan really organization and we have over 200 volunteers here in the Triangle worked in five different countries last year over Skype doing while mentoring really five other countries. Yes, wonderful tests is very real way – so people can get involved and in many ways that we are always looking for marriage mentors and mentioned he mentioned that it is quite the process and that we are also looking for people to help us.
But these bridal shows and events that we do because we do several events throughout the year and just having extra hands to help us with events and people the gift of hosting we really appreciate that.
And then we also have opportunities for people who like to do research because where looking for new articles and they sure push out to encourage marriage as then that is a big part of what we do is an educational nonprofit. We have our social media with a spec Instagram and we do webinars monthly where where sharing information for in-home marriage. So what's the easiest way for some to get a hold of you yet so info at your centerpiece that organ piece like the state of mind propellers with your centerpiece and for more information go to email@example.com.
Thank you so much Brooke for what you do and thank you for coming and thinking you for joining and listening to our program today and thank you to Crossroads Fellowship and the Truth Network for making this show possible. You can find out more information about Crossroads firstname.lastname@example.org.
If this show has impacted you. We'd love to hear from you. You can contact us at email@example.com. Thank you to C3 Advantage sponsoring this program. We look forward to having you join us on the next challenge your success as a leader hinges upon buying from your team clear and consistent communication from you and strategic delegation. My name Cheryl Scanlon C3 Advantage helps you steward your most valuable resource. Well, improve retention grow employee engagement and generate higher team and individual ownership. The success of your organization begins with you and depends on your team go deeper as a leader and watch organization further visit C3advantage.net manage.net