Divorce — An Ugly Topic (Part A)

The woman that had five husbands 1255 Buster is the one you now with is not your husband to say you need to be strong to reach her heart going forward. Going forward was his approach. I can't wind back the clock. I cannot go to each one of those lives and try to unscramble the sake so that comes a time when I got to go forward because the past is to damage from this is cross reference radio with our pastor and teacher Rick Gaston.

Rick is the pastor of Calvary Chapel Mechanicsville. Pastor Rick is currently teaching through the book of Mark, please stay with us after today's message to hear more information about cross reference radio, specifically how you can get a free copy of this teaching, but for now, here's Pastor Rick in Mark chapter 10 as he begins his message divorce an ugly topic in the Gospel according to Mark chapter 10 verses one through 12. Gospel according to Mark chapter 10 then he arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan, and multitudes gathered to him again and as he was accustomed. He taught them again. Pharisees came and asked him, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife testing him, and he answered and said to them, what did Moses command you, they said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her and Jesus answered and said to them, because of the hardness of your heart.

He wrote you this precept, but from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.

So then they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate in the house.

His disciples also asked him again about the same matter. So he said to them, whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery, title for this morning's consideration from this passage of Scripture I think is very descriptive of what's going on in my head title is divorce an ugly topic.

I would rather preach on almost anything else this morning. I would like to hurry up and get to this message, but I have my orders and so to you. It is important that when we come to unpleasant things from the word that we stare them down.

We face them as God would want us to face them. This is a sensitive subject for some for some of you if you have a good marriage and you're not involved in. You know, there's no one else in your family going through tough times. You might not see how sensitive this is bought for some of the others. This can be really difficult consideration and as I go through this.

I hope that I don't lose you one that you you must understand what we want from the word if you're if you're someone going through these things. What we want from the word is Lord, how do I respond to what I am faced with. And, of course, this is sin written all over it divorces the product of sin and nothing else. And to be able to speak on such a topic the pastor has to remember what his objectives are is to exhort is to look for solutions is to encourage and he is to deter there may be things said that really have nothing to do with you now, but let some point in your life you may have to face these things, whether on your own or someone you love or someone that you use to minister to us important to keep up with keep our feelings out as much as we can and let the spirit receive is Lord directs.

It is a very distasteful topic for a pastor to preach on in this because of the misery and sin, or that I should I say this with the misery because of sin, especially in the lives of professing Christians often times very often or too often is more like it behave as though they've never been saved many or too hardhearted to reconcile to be encouraged to be tolerated. It does come a time when some people you just cannot tolerate the impenitent behavior that they are exhibiting.

This is a topic that is sensitive for children for adults for victims for violators, pastors, and for spectators were all involved in this. Though you may not have gone through a divorce personally or Minnick victimized by some other sin in this category still concerns you. So what we do what we do in the face of such difficult experiences. Be blameless, be useful, be Christlike. That is our objective all the time no matter what we are faced with.

No matter how much it hurts.

We want to be blameless before God. We want to be useful to God and we want to be like Christ and the forces of hell, try to get us to not be any. Some will claim to be blameless and useful to Christ like Christ. But the line and you will know them by their fruit. They will say one thing with their mouths and they would do something entirely opposite with their lives and they will do a boldface to what would the angel say about someone in a bad marriage that is adamant that is determine to be guilty and breaking up their own home their own marriage, what with the angel say. I think the angel would nudge one and another interested you believe this person for claiming to be a Christian.

Look what they're doing the making no effort to be Christlike. Their only hope for themselves, which is the root self exaltation, often times vilifying the innocent spouse to the children. There's not really much of an excuse for that is slander.

What the devil is made up slander slanders in the beginning of the Bible slanders God to receive.

Andy slanders man to God when he talks about Job. And then he faces Jesus in the wilderness and continues his efforts to slander.

Ephesians 6. Honor your father and mother that does not give the parent the right to get the child to dishonor the parent, the other spouse the other parent of the child and again I'm talking about professed Christians will get to this but we need to build set this up some as we go through it so that we understand that there is no malice intended is no hardness of heart leased on the speakers part of my part, but I want to get things done. And again, my role as pastor is to encourage the believers and when believers become entangled in sin if they will let me. The role of the pastor is to seek solutions reconciliation and for those who may not have entered into these troubled waters. Hopefully you will be deterred by listening to the word of God dispensed on on these matters and the role of the pastor is to uphold the Scripture, no matter what people might think first Thessalonians chapter 5.

Now we exhort you, brethren worn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all that last one catches us with everybody is a few people I don't want to be patient with any patients need to be a patient, but the second Timothy chapter 4 convince rebuke, exhort with all long-suffering and teaching, then Titus, Paul says to this pastor speak these things exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise. Don't take their mess you preach the word Titus you preach it with authority that God is given you and don't take their mess who's there there best all the ones were impenitent.

Have weak in active believers need encouragement.

We have active believers who are guilty but they repent, they need solutions restoration make things right. Can't do it on their own.

All the time then you have the impenitent impenitent ignorant guilty double down on their rejection. They need the deterrence we all need to turn so we don't become that way. So not an exhaustive attempt to address our unfortunate and ugly subject but we have to face. So now we look at verse one then he arose from there and came to the region of Judea by the other side of the Jordan and the multitudes gathered to him again and as he was the custom, he taught them again in a few joining in late online.

We are in Mark's gospel chapter 10 we arose from Capernaum. That's the last place we know him to be had in Mark's gospel verse nine of chapter 9 verse 33. His head is heading towards Jerusalem, and there they will crucify pretty much his public ministry as is now fading, and it is about the cross verse two well go back to verse one, a second and he would as he was accustom.

He taught them again. He was always teaching them because ignorance of God is no benefit to anyone. And though some behaviors though ignorance of the Scripture. Somehow a good thing.

Your emotions can direct you through your faith and who really needs too much Scripture asked out of hell not heaven.

Verse two the Pharisees came and asked him, is it lawful for man to divorce his wife testing him what we would call a loaded question. This question is intended to cause division. This is a this at that time as maybe even today in many circles. This was a divisive topic hotly debated because largely of rabbinical Judaism. Their intention was to discredit him by getting him to pick one rabbinical school of thought over the other.

They're using as their platform. Their interpretations of Deuteronomy chapter 24 verses one through four. Two dominant and different interpretations of that passage of Scripture in Deuteronomy on the law of remarriage and divorce are influenced mainly at this time by the school of Hillel, the rabbi is a liberal teaching that Moses permitted a man to divorce his wife for pretty much any reason he wanted to.

If she did make us dinner the right way he could divorce her.

There were cultural stops in place that slowed this down yet it was still in the thinking of of many of the people and influence their behavior and so if you had a husband, I just, you know, like somebody better didn't like his wife anymore. He could push this point and get away with it. Then there was the other rabbinical school of Samaria, and he followed a stricter interpretation of Deuteronomy 24 allowing divorce only in cases of adultery. Now we talk about divorce in Scripture. We are also talking about remarriage because this was going to happen if there is a divorce on both the one of the parties are going to look to remarry and this is a big problem today pastoral ministry how to deal with this the Right Way, Jesus will choose neither of those rabbinical schools in dealing with Deuteronomy 24 and these Pharisees were looking to trip him up. He will go to the Scripture, which they did too but they went to their interpretation of the Scripture. And he's going to go beyond there. Back to the very intention of God at creation.

So what Jesus has to say about divorce is too often disrespected by some churchgoers say they are Christians is one thing we struggle with what he says it's another thing to disrespect what he says to trample what he says and this could be true of any subject, not just this one we have before us this morning. Some Christians when they make their vows. For better or for worse, till death do us part, that means nothing to them. Even though that is based off of Scripture and the list they tend to list quite a few pathetic reasons for breaking up their homes and when they don't find the pastor agreeing within the shop were different pastor look for a different church, they often do it of the guise of you know I didn't care for you know that message today or something else of the color painter. They find some excuse and we need to find another church and all the while they're scheming this happens. Scripture really to get to the point of it all concerning divorce gives three reasons why a person may consider divorce, of course, is death. Death of the spouse rest on a divorce, but as a reason to remarry legitimately. There is a infidelity of one of the spouses aren't unfaithful. The other spouse can get out of the marriage though that's not encouraged and not even encouraging Scripture. Thus, we have hope.

You know the story of Hosea and Gomer, and they're not the only ones in Scripture and then there is if Christian is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever abandons the Christian than they are legitimately free but if they are married to a believer they do not have that option. This it gets ugly. After that the egg starts to get scrambled and they bring it to the pastor and they handed to the passage I unscramble this and I say I don't how to do that, but still seeking solutions. Radar is always on looking for a way to not banish them and at the same time not violate the Scripture it and it is an unpleasant task. I have many notes in my computer on on these things are and I don't know how much I probably will give you none of the case cases that I face in over 30 years of ministry. The bizarre the and all the, the and the ridiculous is just all sorts of encounters with people saying I'm a Christian and I'm getting out of this marriage and I don't really care what you have to say and often times two medium many many times this one villain one not both. And come back to that and so Scripture again.

The reasons stated the three.

The apostles are going to have a problem with that. It big. You know what you say. For example, to someone who is take a couple there married add to someone else and then they commit adultery with each other and their marriage dissolves and then they marry scrambled egg. What about the children on both sides. What you do at the new banish them forever from church. Maybe, maybe not. This is why God said to Malachi Malachi chapter 24 the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce because Cindy goes adhesive for it covers one's garment with violence continues covers one's garment with violence says Lord of hosts. Therefore, take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously remember him telling you about how they come up with schemes and list all these with treachery trading one God, the guilty one, one that is determined to get out no matter what. So when you come across a verse like that as a pastor in your preaching you saying you see faces you see experiences over 30 years they've they've added up pretty much out of marriage counseling at this point delegated to the other pastors. And I'm glad about that. They're not. Maybe I'll know you think you enter into this you going to fix it will help you can be part of the solution that you would to Christians that want a solution wrong wrong. Usually by the time they get to our office. It's done. There are some exceptions. These are the bare facts.

Should we sweep them under the rug so you can trip over them later. Not all we need to understand these things verse three and Jesus answered and said to them, what did Moses command you, so Higgs ignoring the dominant schools is not. He never he never yielded any respect for rabbinical Judaism.

It was the word of God and that was it in care about their doctrines or doctrines of men and list those doctrines of men in line with what the Scripture has to say and so he this question. What did Moses say, taking them to the words and what exactly did Moses mean when he said that because that's where it all goes south their interpretation of Deuteronomy 24 Moses put boundaries on remarriage that was the purpose of Deuteronomy 24 wasn't adding permissions for divorce prohibited divorcing a wife and then re-marrying her. After she remarried and divorce that husband or he dives a unity candle back to her. That was the thrust of what he was saying. Find a problem with your wife. The divorce Moses Sayers is almost hypothetical. You can't be going back and forth with this revived the marriage after that person remarried another. They took what they focused on was when Moses said if the husband finds something unclean about her some displeasure Deacon divorce, that's all they heard, they took that and they built this doctrine and Jesus knew that, of course, so it was not a command in Deuteronomy 24 with a limited delimitation, not a command to divorce or an endorsement of and they so they leap on Moses. You could say vague comment about these things. David King David had grounds to divorce Michelle. Years later when she remarried his arm the king, he stole my wife and I never divorced her. She is my wife. And he takes her back Hosea, he could've had Gomer stone according to the law he opted not to, but he took her back and he rebuilt her as best he could look to reconcile that marriage even though he would certainly could've gotten out of that marriage then Joseph of the husband of Mary in the New Testament when he thought that Mary was unfaithful to him. In Matthew chapter 1 verse 19 he thought Hattaway. How do I get rid of her without shaming her publicly and causing her your troubles is such a noble man. Joseph was also did not always call for a death sentence. The laws gave that option.

But we don't see it exercising those two men.

Hosea the prophet and and Joseph and so you see the mercy of God.

When Jesus encountered the woman in John chapter 8, was caught in infidelity look to stone resource solutions. Then there was the woman who had count them.

Let's have a Sesame Street moment. The woman that had five husbands 123455 busted her knees and then the one you now with is not your husband do.

It did not say you need to be strong will to reach her heart going forward. Going forward was his approach.

I can't wind back the clock cannot go to each one of those lives and try to unscramble the sakes of the comes a time when I got a go forward because the past is too damaged, you will get those high-minded judge mental self righteous ones that will criticize for you whatever decision you make. And when you show mercy with. I've seen that we've had big problems with some folks here. We look to restore they receive the restoration and then others. We've heard about criticizing the restoration why people like that sin as Gypsy Smith, an evangelist from decades ago, said sin. You can't say it without hearing the hiss of the serpent verse four of us to pause. I did say Lord. Can you help me be humorous tomorrow because it is a lovely topic and I got the sense he said no gloves. I don't have any Joe K did you hear about the pastor. I have nothing so we just going to go forward with. And again, if you're squirming is what it takes to deal with sin. It takes you know it's not pleasant to deal with sickness. Not too bad when you drive someone else to the dentist when you're the one being taken. It's not pleasant. I mean, there's nothing kind in the dentist's office did the even the doorknobs are wrong anyway. We live in the age of gentle dental kind of a tree approach. As a kid man. It was like now were going to just do this without any painkillers, just to see what happens. Verse four. I'm sorry I said no humor but now think about when you go to the dentist gives you a stick a bite down on this one has going to get it right anywhere they said verse four, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss her. See, that's all.

This writer divorce is not what he was really going wet.

When Moses was talking about some other things to note that not what they wanted to have dealt with evangelical Christians like this is that Satan did that did that to Jesus in the wilderness did that to Eve as indeed, God say, said anyway verse four. These they bring this up to dismiss the wife wanting to make divorce easy and convenient, and not the same thing, something can be easy but inconvenience they wanted to make it just as smooth as butter.

Verse five Jesus answered and said to them, because of the hardness of your heart.

He wrote you this preset so again Jesus saying we have your foundation is wrong. So everything you build on this foundation is wrong. The premise of their argument. Moses again not to at risk of repeating myself is not endorsing divorce, but there it is because of the hardness of view of your heart. It is very personal with them is nonlimiting to those that lived in the days of Moses.

All that included them, but he's singling them out in your hearts, heart that's that's it. The hardness of the heart in a marriage, that's what brings the divorce Scripture the heart seat. The place with the emotions and the intellect and the will all reside in the heart. It's all of you, you shall love the Lord your God with your whole heart, soul, mind and strength with the soul resides where you are and he says you are hard in heart. Hassan is no agreement with God in your abdomen like stone as I mentioned earlier in a bad marriage.

There is often one hardhearted spell.

Sometimes they're both knuckleheads granted, but many times it's just one move.

Thanks for tuning in to cross reference radio for this study in the book of Mark cross reference radio is the teaching ministry of pastor Rick Gaston of Calvary Chapel Mechanicsville in Virginia to learn more information about this ministry. Visit our website cross reference radio.com once you're there you will find additional teachings from Pastor Rick. We encourage you to subscribe to our podcast. When you subscribe will be notified of each new edition of cross reference radio you could search for cross reference radio on your favorite podcast app that's all we have time for today, but we hope you'll join us next time.

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