How Do We Love Those Who Exploit Our Kindness?

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves, but how should we respond to those who continually exploit our love and kindness? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of Core Christianity. Hi, this is Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question at 833 the Core. That's 1-833-843-2673.

And you can post your question on our Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter accounts, or email us at questions at corechristianity.com. First up today, we have a good news story to share with you. Back in 1996, Ralph and Lisa Turner launched an organic farm on one-fifth of an acre in Freeport, Maine. Eventually, they developed a steady customer base and bought 12 and a half more acres. Well, much of their business came from restaurants in the city of Portland, and when the pandemic hit last year, those restaurants were forced to close. At that point, their farm's future seemed very much in jeopardy. But rather than ditch the harvest, Mr. and Mrs. Turner came up with Plan B. The couple opened a farm stand selling pre-bagged produce at three bucks a pop and sent out word via their company newsletter. In addition to making purchases, their customers started leaving generous tips to show their support and keep the farm going. Now, the Turners haven't made a profit this year, but their business survived and they say they're looking forward to a new planting season this spring.

God bless the Turners. That's really cool. Bill, are you a fan of organic food? Is that your thing? You know, when I go to the grocery store, I'm looking for the cheapest stuff available. Yeah, so am I, but my wife isn't, and so that's how that's, yeah, so we oftentimes look at the organic stuff. I've noticed the organic bananas are just a little bit weird sometimes. I just don't get that.

I don't like bananas, organic or not organic, so I'm never getting them. Yeah, well, let's get to our first question of the day. Derek posted this on our website. He says, is it a contradiction when the Bible says faith without works is dead, when faith is a gift and works are things that we do?

Yeah, Derek, thanks for that question. Oftentimes we do sort of pit those things against each other, faith and works, and the statement that you're referring to is from the book of James in James chapter 2 verse 17. That's where James talks about faith without works being dead, and that really is in the context of, you know, people who say, oh yeah, I'm a believer, I'm a Christian, but their lives don't reflect that in anyone.

We've all met people like this, right? I don't go to church, I really don't care at all about the Word of God, I don't have love in my heart for the people of God. That is one of the signs that we've been born again. I mean, John says this in 1 John chapter 4, and so I think James is really hitting on that there specifically. Now, a passage of Scripture that I think we ought to go to when we're thinking about faith and works, and Derek, you said faith is a gift.

I like that. Ephesians chapter 2 verses 8 through 10, listen to what the apostle Paul said, for by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not of your own doing, it is the gift of God right there, like you said, Derek, not a result of works so that no one may boast, for we are his workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. And so we're not saved by our good works, we're saved by faith alone, but we're saved for good works, and that's what the apostle Paul says there. And I think that's how we need to view the relationship, is we're justified, we're saved by faith alone, but saving faith is accompanied by good works. Now, we're never going to be perfect this side of heaven, Bill, you know this, I know this, but the Spirit of God is at work in our hearts, sanctifying us, and we're saved unto good works. And so Paul says that there's no contradiction there with James saying faith without works is dead. He's not contradicting himself, and so it's important for us to understand properly the relationship there between faith and works, what faith does and what works to. Faith justifies, and works are this this sign of having been justified by faith, if you will. You know, one of the things I've noticed is when you have Christians that come out of either a Catholic background or maybe a more legalistic background, they often feel like if they don't do enough good things, God isn't going to truly love them. Yeah, Bill, and I don't even think it's just people who come out of legalistic backgrounds or Roman Catholic backgrounds. I think for all of us it's sort of our natural inclination to slip into this works-based mentality, because the grace of God, which is free, which is unmerited, is so contrary to everything we're taught, you know, from the time of our birth.

It's all merit-based. It's, you do good and you'll be blessed, right, and you'll be rewarded. Well, God's grace comes to sinners, and so I think a lot of us can struggle with this, and that's why it's so important for us to get the gospel right. One of my former pastors once would often say this, and it was really helpful for me, he would say, remember, there's nothing you can do that would make God love you more, and there's nothing you can do that would make God love you less.

He just loves you the way you are. That's who God is. Yeah, well, you know, John, I just preached on this, 1 John chapter 4, he says, God is love, and God demonstrated his love for us not when we were righteous, godly, you know, being faithful to the Lord, strong spiritually it was. I mean, Paul says this in Romans 5, it was while we were sinners, and so if God loved you as a sinner, he sent his Son to die for you when you were in that state. If God's love for you wasn't dependent upon your performance, then why would it be dependent upon your performance now?

That's one of the things I said, and so I think that's true. Let's go to the phones right now. If you've got a question for Pastor Adriel, here's the number, it's 1-833-843-2673, that's 833 the core. Mallory is calling in from Connecticut.

Hi, Mallory. Hi, I started following Jesus about the same time this show began in 2018, so I really appreciate the information and encouragement you provided. Lately I've felt a strong call to fast and to grow close to Jesus by doing that, but I don't know much about fasting. And so my two-part question is, how do I draw close to him as I fast, and then also how do I determine how long and how often to fast?

Yeah, that's a great question, and Mallory, I just want to say how encouraged I am to hear you say, you know, you want to continue to grow in your relationship with the Lord and to show God that you love Him. And now fasting is one of these things that we see throughout the Bible in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, and typically in Scripture it was associated with times of great difficulty and trial. When the people of God were being confronted by some plague or an invading army, they would set their eyes upon the Lord and they would fast. They would deny themselves food for a period of time, and they would devote that time to prayer, to drawing near to the Lord. And I think that there's a clue there for us, you know, about the kinds of times in which we're supposed to fast. I think sometimes people say, well, I just fast every Wednesday, or I just fast, you know, once a month, that kind of a thing, but typically in Scripture it was more of an occasional thing. It was something that happened in response to these great difficulties, and the people of God were saying, look, we don't even want to focus on food right now, what we're eating. We want to stop and just seek the face of the Lord. And so I think, Mallory, that there are times where it is appropriate for us to fast as Christians, and it's in those same circumstances, times of great difficulty, times of suffering, even fasting for the things that are happening around us. I mean, you think of some of the trials that this nation is experiencing, being able to seek the Lord and to pray.

I don't know that I would say that it needs to be something that you just sort of build into your spiritual disciplines, as it were. Like, I spend every Monday fasting or every Friday fasting. And the other thing I'll say is, don't bite off more than you can chew, no pun intended. I told a story before, I had a friend who, he said, I just really need to fast to seek the Lord. And he decided he was going to fast all food for a whole week. All he was going to do is, you know, drink these milkshake, or not milkshakes, that would be a good fast, milkshake fast, but these smoothies for the whole week. And he said by the end of the week, he was starving. And so what he did was he blended, he said, some lasagna at the end of the week with milk, and then he said it was the best lasagna he had ever had.

But it was sort of biting off more than you can. I think we can do that. And so I would say, you know, if you feel like there are things that are happening around you that are causing you to say, I just really need to focus on the Lord right now in a time of prayer, I think it is appropriate to say, okay, maybe I'm going to fast a meal or for today, and I'm going to use that time to pray and to seek God's face.

And those are the moments when I would say it's appropriate to fast Mallory. Mallory, thanks so much for your call. Thanks for being one of our regular listeners. Thank you. Okay, have a wonderful day.

This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We have Janet from Michigan on the line. Hi there, how are you?

Hi. I was recently rereading the story where Jesus went to visit Mary and Martha, and I've always sympathized with Martha, because I felt like she really loved the Lord, and I didn't understand, and I'm just curious what Jesus meant when he said, there's only one thing worth being concerned about, and Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her. What do you mean by that? Yeah, you know, it's sort of an interesting passage, isn't it? Luke chapter 10, beginning in verse 38.

Let me read the text for those who are not familiar with it. Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she went up to him and said, Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone?

Tell her to help me. But the Lord answered her, Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her. Now I love this story in the Gospels, and I think it's a really important story for us, important story for us in our context, because we tend to like to be really busy for Jesus, don't we? Oftentimes you'll hear churches say, yeah, don't focus so much on what you get out of church, but what can you give?

What can you do? What's your ministry? How is it that you're serving? And I think it's good for us to serve out of the knowledge, the sense that we have of the fact that we've first and foremost been served by Jesus himself, by sitting at his feet. And that's the main thing, and that's what Jesus is highlighting for us here, Jeanette, that the most important thing for us is to receive from Christ. It's not primarily about what we do.

Now this is so backwards again for us. I mean, when we think about the grace of God, you think about Jesus in John chapter 13, for example, when he washed the disciples' feet. You remember Peter's response to him, Lord, no way, you're not going to wash my feet. And yet Jesus takes a towel up, bows down, and washes his disciples' feet.

And frankly, when we gather together every Sunday for church, the primary thing that is happening, what I try to communicate as a pastor, as a minister of the gospel, is we're coming first and foremost to receive Jesus' service, to hear him speaking to us, to learn from him. And that's what Mary was doing. That's what Mary was doing. And so Jesus commanded her. Now it's not that, you know, Martha was totally off, or that what she was doing was bad, but oftentimes I think we can sort of have the Martha mentality, where we're busying ourselves with service, and we're looking around at all the people who aren't serving Jesus like we are, and we begin to judge them. Lord, don't you see my sister over there?

You know, why isn't she volunteered in the nursery or that kind of a thing? And Jesus says, hey, come sit at my feet, receive my grace, and after having received it, go and serve one another. And so I think Jesus is just helping us here to see the priority of the fact that we are recipients of God's grace. And I hope, brothers and sisters, that as you sit down on Sunday in the pews, or as you gather together with other believers, that sense that you have, man, we are first and foremost recipients, and that's what Jesus is highlighting for us here in this wonderful passage. Jeanette, thanks for your call, and thanks for being a regular listener. Thank you.

We appreciate it. You know, Adriel, that reminds me, I know of a mega church where when you start attending there and then become a member, the first thing they do, the very first thing, is they want to plug you into a service role. Yeah. Well, are you going to be a greeter? Are you going to be a small group person? Are you going to be kids ministry? It's all about finding a place to plug you in. Is there a danger to that?

Yeah, I think there can be. I think when we focus too much on what are you doing, people can lose sight of what has been done for me. And the role of the church is to communicate to people very clearly the fact of the gospel, what has been done for you. And if we're not doing that consistently, then when people are serving for years and years and years, and they're not hearing that message, they begin to get worn out, tired.

They begin to, like Martha, look at other believers around them and say, you know, there's a bitterness there. Why aren't other people serving as much as I, you know, and that's where we have to be really careful. And so, you know, service is good, and we want to plug people in to serve in the church where they're gifted, but it's really important that we are focusing first and foremost on how they've been served by the Lord. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. By the way, we are a listener supported program, so we count on people just like you to keep this program on the air. Yes, and right now I want to thank the members of the inner core. It's that group of people that with a monthly donation of $25 or more supporting us, helping us to stay on the air.

We thank you so much, especially as we've transitioned to live. It's been a huge blessing, a huge encouragement for us, and I want to invite you, if you're encouraged by this program, if you've been blessed by the answers that we give here at Core Christianity, would you consider joining that group, the inner core? Like I said, a monthly donation of $25 or more, and when you join, you'll get a signed copy of the book, Core Christianity, just a wonderful resource that dives into the core truths of the Christian faith, written by the man who helped us start this radio program, one of my old seminary professors, Dr. Michael Horton. So, yeah, we would love for you to join.

Thank you for your support, for your prayers, and you can find out more information where we're at, Bill? Well, our website, which is corechristianity.com forward slash inner core, to join inner core, again, corechristianity.com forward slash inner core. You can also call us for that particular offer, any one of our offers. Here's the phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE. By the way, that book that Adriel mentioned, if you are new to the faith or if you're a person who really wants to firm up your understanding of Christianity and good, solid theology, man, oh man, this is such a wonderful book.

We can't recommend it enough, and if you join the inner core, again, we'll send you a copy of Dr. Michael Horton's book, Core Christianity. Let's go back to the phones, let's go back to the phones, and Sean from St. Louis has a question for us. Hi, Sean. Hey, it's actually Shane. Oh, sorry, Sean.

So, no problem. So my question has to do with understanding the difference between mistakes and intentional sins. And last week on the program, you guys were talking about a friend who texted you, Adriel, about your use of the word sarcophagus on the air instead of sarcophagi. Hypothetically, if I was that friend who sent that text without remembering to include a smiling, winking emoji, would you consider that a mistake or an unpardonable sin? Yeah, well, it's, yeah, I wouldn't say it's the unpardonable sin. But it comes close. Yeah, but it comes close there, Shane, and yeah, I don't know what else to say to this guy.

I mean, he's a crazy one. Look, there is an unpardonable sin, but it's not how you use emojis. Go ahead.

Go ahead, Shane. In all seriousness, you know, as our parent organization, there's another radio program called the White Horse Sin, which I currently serve as the host. A listener to that program from Australia recently wrote me asking about Hebrews 9-7. And that verse talks about in the days of the Old Covenant, where the high priest used to sprinkle the blood in the altar, but it says there in that verse, 9-7, about the unintentional sins of the people. And so this led him to write me to ask, you know, whether God actually forgives any of our intentional sins.

So I thought maybe, you know, you could answer the question for me, Adriel. Yeah, well, you know, that distinction there under the Old Covenant, intentional sins and unintentional sins, you know, there are different views on that. I know that one view says essentially even with intentional sins, there were sacrifices that could be offered that would move an intentional sin into the realm of an unintentional sin. If it, you know, like in that case it could be pardoned.

This would obviously, I mean, it would cause a lot of concern, right? Like if unintentional sins, or intentional sins, excuse me, could not be pardoned, I mean, that would be a huge problem. But the fact of the matter is is I don't think that we have to worry about that as believers in Jesus Christ. And it's very clearly the case when you look at the Scriptures that people who had sinned intentionally against the Lord did in fact receive pardon, even under the Old Covenant. I'm thinking of men like David. I mean, it doesn't get any more intentional than committing adultery and murder.

And yet, what does Nathan the prophet say to David? The Lord has put away your sin. Brothers and sisters, the reality is each of us, we sin against the Lord every day in thought, word, and indeed, unintentionally and intentionally. That's why the gospel has to be all of grace, you know? You start to think, oh man, I'm doing pretty good because I haven't intentionally sinned in a while, you know?

That kind of a thing. The reality is we are desperately in need of the mercy of the Lord. And every quote-unquote biblical hero that we see in the Scripture was as well, I think also of Peter, denying the Lord Jesus three times. I mean, it couldn't get any more intentional than that. Jesus actually told him he was going to do it. He sort of, you know, we saw that that was going to be the reality prior to that. He knew. He knew better, and yet he still did it.

And yet the Lord Jesus, at the end of John's gospel, he sits him down for breakfast, and he restores him. And so, you know, I think what's important for us to emphasize for those who are concerned, you know, is it the case that God is not going to forgive me because I've sinned intentionally in this way. Maybe I've committed the unpardonable sin. We were joking about that there with you, Shane.

You know, what is that? Well, no, intentional sin, failing, falling into sin, intentionally sinning, that's not the unpardonable sin. Even those sins, by the blood of Jesus Christ, can and will be forgiven. And so that's a great hope that we have. And so thank you, Shane, for your question and for keeping me on my toes. We should mention that Shane's actually a friend.

Yeah, that's right. Thanks so much for that call. Let's go to Kendra from Escondido, California. Hi, Kendra. Welcome to CORE Christianity.

Hi, thank you. I was wondering if you could answer what you'd say to someone who's suffered a miscarriage, and what hope do they have for their child being saved? Yeah, well, you know, and as a pastor I've walked with several families that have experienced miscarriage, and it is devastating, it's heartbreaking.

And so sometimes, Kendra, you just sit down and you lament, you weep with those who weep, and that would be my first approach. For believers, you know, we have the promise in Scripture that God wants to be a God to us and to our children, that God has his goodwill towards his people. And, you know, the text that is often gone to, and it is a passage that I go to as well, it's that text of Scripture where David is reflecting on the death of his child after, you know, committing this sin with Bathsheba in 2 Samuel chapter 12.

I'm going to begin reading in verse 21. Then his servant said to him, What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was still alive, but when the child died you arose and you ate food. And he said, While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me that the child may live? But now he is dead.

Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me. And so, I mean, this text has been taken in different ways, but I think one way in which we can take it is, and David is saying very clearly, he's not coming back, right?

He's not coming back, but one day I'm going to go to him. And I think for believers, we have that hope as well for our children who have perished, for those who have lost children in miscarriages, that the Lord holds them, that the Lord holds them, and that the grace of Christ covers even them, that God has this good will towards them. And so, sister, that's how I would approach them. And there's that passage of Scripture, but then just God's overwhelming heart of love towards his people and even toward their children. We have time for one more question.

This is from Ben. He says, How do we love people who exploit our kindness and love for them? Should we do everything for such people out of the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself?

If not, how do we respond to their demands? Yeah, well, Ben, I, you know, personally, in my own life, I've had situations like this, right, where you have a friend or a family member and you feel like they're just taking advantage of my love, of my forgiveness. And one of the things that I found personally, when I continue to love that person, when I continue to love and forgive that person, is that it humbles me. It confronts me with the reality of the fact that so often I take advantage of God's grace, of his goodness, of his kindness.

I'm reminded of how merciful the Lord is, of how patient the Lord is with me. So, in one sense, it helps to put to death my own pride. And then in another sense, one positive thing is it's a way for us to exhibit the love of Christ to others. Now, I'm not saying we endure abuse or we enable bad behavior, that kind of a thing.

I have a different answer for that. But the reality is, when someone is difficult to love, we continue to love them and show them mercy, because that's how God has loved us. Thanks for listening to CORE Christianity. To request your copy of today's special offer, visit us at corechristianity.com and click on offers in the menu bar, or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833-The-CORE. When you contact us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program. And be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's Word together.