Will Marriage Fix My Struggle with Sexual Sin?

Will marriage fix my struggle with sexual sin? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of Core Christianity. Hi, it's Bill Meyer along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. We'd love to hear from you, and you can leave us a voicemail anytime at this number 833THECORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. You can also post your question on one of our social media sites, and feel free to email us anytime at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, let's go to Greg calling in from Missouri. Greg, what is your question for Adriel?

Hey, thanks for taking my call today, guys. I just had a question. I was talking with my wife, and we kind of came upon a conversation, and I wanted some clarification about when Jesus was mentioning that one sin is not greater than another. The same God that said, Thou shall not lie, also said, Thou shall not murder. And I just wonder how that fits in, like with judgment and accountability for us, for me as a Christian, like, how does that relate to what the Bible says as far as, you know, when we are judged, will one sin be considered greater than another, or is it really all sin is the same? Greg, this is an excellent question, and I think this is one of the sort of mantras that floats around in the Christian church, or one of those sayings that float around, and people just think, well, that's somewhere in the Bible, right? You know, all sin is equal. Not one sin is greater than another, and there's a sense in which that's true, but then there's a sense also in which that's just not true at all. The sense in which it's true is, you know, the fact that all sin deserves God's wrath and curse, and so all sin leads to death, but not all sins are equal. Some sins in and of themselves, and by reason of, you know, repeated aggravations, are more heinous in the sight of God than other sins. What I mean by that is, you know, it's worse to actually cheat on your spouse than it is to have a lustful thought, right? The consequences are worse. It's more devastating right? The accountability involved, right?

What happens after the fact. So, you know, it's not accurate to say, well, it's just about the same, right? No, we know, just practically speaking, it's not the same at all. Now, that doesn't mean that lusting in your heart is okay. Jesus says, you know, when you look at a woman to lust for her, it's as if you've committed adultery. Again, all sin is under God's wrath and curse, but not all sin is equal. The other thing, I think, that factors into this is, who's the one who's doing the sinning? Is this someone who should know better? You know, is this a new Christian who's just come to the faith, and they don't really understand the teachings of the Bible, and they're just coming under conviction for sin, and they're doing things like, oh boy, you know, wait, what's wrong?

I'm starting to feel convicted about this. Or is this an individual who knows better, and they've known the truth for years? Maybe they're even a spiritual leader, a pastor, a theology professor, or something like that, and yet they're continuing to behave in ways that they know God says don't do that. Well, that person is held to a higher standard, and so this gets into what you brought up, you know, with accountability and judgment. God is going to reward to each person, you know, according to what they've done, and I think a part of what's factoring into that judgment is, you know, the knowledge, the light that an individual had.

Was this person someone who knew better or not? And Jesus makes this clear when he talks about the judgment of the Pharisees, you know, the religious leaders in his day, the scribes and the Pharisees. He says that they were going to receive greater condemnation because, you know, they knew better.

They knew the word of God, and yet they didn't obey it, and so the sense, again, just to, I think, summarize, the sense in which the statement is true that all sins are equal is that, well, yeah, all sins deserve God's wrath, God's judgment, all sin leads to death, but it's also true that some sins in and of themselves are worse than other sins, and so, you know, there are greater consequences. There's a greater need for accountability, and that's something that we see repeatedly in scripture as well, and so, Greg, appreciate that question, and thank you for calling into the Corps. Just to follow up for Greg, when you mentioned the final judgment, too, how does that play in when we are standing before Christ? And I know there's a lot of discussion about the, you know, the great white throne of judgment and the book of the Lamb, and how do we grapple with the fact that God is going to indeed judge or reward us at that point?

Yeah, this is a great question. So, you know, you're bringing up another passage here, Bill, Revelation chapter 20, where John talks about this final judgment, this great white throne judgment, this include everyone. You see this in Acts chapter 17, verse 31, 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 10, Romans chapter 14, verses 10 through 12.

But this is everybody. Christians, non-Christians, we're all going to be at this judgment, and there is going to be a detailed accounting. Even our motives are going to be under God's scrutiny, but here's the thing. Believers in Jesus can be confident in the judgment.

Why? Because for those who are in Christ Jesus, there is no more condemnation, as Paul says in Romans chapter 8, verse 1. John, right, in John's gospel, Jesus in John chapter 5, verse 24, says that the one who believes in me has already passed from death to life and does not enter into judgment. What he means by that is that we don't experience condemnation.

Why? Because our condemnation was exhausted at the cross. Jesus is born, our curse, our condemnation, and justified. And so, believers, we can have confidence in the day of judgment. That's exactly what John says in 1 John chapter 4, verse 17. And so, important to keep all of those things in mind when we're thinking about the final judgment as believers, but at the same time, what we do does matter, and we are going to be rewarded by the Lord for the lives that we lived in seeking to obey him and to love him. And so, God help us to do that and to honor him each and every day.

Amen. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Love to hear from you if you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life. You can leave us a voicemail 24 hours a day at 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673. And by the way, if you leave a voicemail question for us, make sure to let us know where you're calling from. You can also email us any time at questionsatcorechristianity.com. Let's go to Robin calling in from Tennessee. Robin, what's your question for Adriel?

Hello, thank you for taking my call. I wanted to get advice and wisdom about praying for my grown daughter, who asked Christ into her heart at about nine or ten. You know, she went down at our church and gave, you know, made a public declaration and followed. She was raised in a Christian home in my home and anyway, has turned and also I see times when she turns when there's silence between us.

And I just want to know if you have any advice about praying for your children in this situation. Now Robin, you said this is your granddaughter? My daughter, my only child, my daughter. Your daughter, okay. And you got, just in terms of your communication, you guys, did you say there's silence right now?

Right now for a few months, yes. She speaks to my sister and her dad now. That changes from season to season, but I know there's some things going on, but she has changed about things that she says about her beliefs, questions from the way she was raised. Okay, well Robin, I want to pray for your daughter and for you and invite all of our listeners to pray and then we can think about this question. But let's pray for Robin. Let's pray for her daughter. Our Father in heaven, we come before you and Lord, we want to lift Robin up to you. We want to lift her daughter up to you and God, you know their situation.

You know her daughter. You heard her daughter's prayers as a little girl coming forward to receive you. And Jesus, you are faithful to us and you hear our prayers. Oh Lord, right now with Robin's daughter and the strain in the family, but also, Lord, her drifting away from that profession of faith that she made as a young girl from her faith and being a part of the church. We ask Lord Jesus that you would continue to be at work in her life and that you would pursue her as the good shepherd that you are.

Thank you for those parables that you give in Luke 15, Jesus, where you talk about how even when one sheep goes astray, you go and you pursue that wandering sheep. And I pray that you would do that for Robin's daughter, Lord, that you would pursue her and that you would draw her back to you and to your church. And God, just like the prodigal son in Luke 15, that she would come to her senses, that she would see how much she needs you and how you have provided for her life, breath, and all things, and that she would give you praise for your goodness in her life, Lord. So please be with Robin. Please be with her daughter, Lord.

Please be at work in this situation. Grant our sister Robin wisdom and the grace of your spirit to know just how to speak to her daughter in Jesus' name. Amen.

Amen. So I think, one, you asked, how do I pray? And I think you can pray scripture.

I think you can look at those passages like in Luke 15. Maybe that's a place for you to meditate for some time and say, okay, Jesus, you are the one who pursues your wandering sheep. When they go wandering sheep, when they wander away, you are the good shepherd.

Do your thing, Jesus. Pursue my daughter. Bring her back.

Bring her to her senses, where she has questions, maybe honest questions. Give me wisdom, Lord, in being able to provide answers that are not just, you know, sort of the the facile responses that we can oftentimes give, but really to care for her and to listen to her and also to have answers from your word for the things that she's wrestling with. And so I think you just continue to pray and to trust in the Lord. We can't save anybody, you know.

We don't have the strength to do that. This is the work of the Holy Spirit. And so trusting and depending upon the Spirit of God and not despairing, but saying, Lord, I'm entrusting her into your hands, and for your part, seeking to keep that relationship open. Of course, I know, you know, there can be real family tension. We didn't get into some of that, some of the reasons for the silence, but just praying that the Lord would bring peace in your relationship, forgiveness and reconciliation, where there needs to be forgiveness and reconciliation.

But I think always keeping that door open and saying, honey, I love you, and I am here for you. I may not agree with all the decisions that you're making, and I know that you have some questions, but I want to be here for you, even in and through those questions. And I'm always going to call you to love Jesus and to follow Jesus, because we need him, you need him, but I'm still your mom, and I love you, and I'm going to be there for you. And may God just bring peace and reconciliation in your relationship with your daughter. And through all of these circumstances, I do pray that he works in her an even greater faith and a greater love for you as a family together. And so, yeah, pray, pray the Word of God.

Pray, you know, meditate on Luke 15 and entrust her to the Lord, and entrust her to the Lord, and pray that God continues to give you wisdom with the questions that she has. And we'll continue to pray for you as well, Robin. Robin, thanks so much for your call.

Heartbreaking situation. We'll continue to pray for you. You're listening to Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We have a wonderful new resource that we are offering you this week. It's called The King is Crowned, 10 Ways Jesus' Ascension Matters for You.

That's right. It's a core guide on the ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ. And Bill, as you said, it's called The King is Crowned. And as we approach Easter, how important is Christ's ascension to his redemptive work? That's a question that we often don't think about, that we don't ask, the relationship between the ascension and the rest of what Jesus did for us. When we think about all that Jesus did for us as Christians, the peace, the assurance, you know, the fact that our prayers, we know that they're heard and that God has poured his Spirit out upon the church. And that's what Jesus did when he ascended into heaven.

He poured his blessings out upon the church. We really need to recover an understanding of this doctrine. And so get a hold again of this resource. If you want to understand the ascension of Jesus better or just prepare your heart for the Easter season, head over to corechristianity.com forward slash offers to get your free digital copy of The King is Crowned. This would be a great resource for you personally, for your family, or maybe for your Bible study group. Again, you can get The King is Crowned 10 ways Jesus ascension matters for you for free at corechristianity.com forward slash offers. And while you're at our website, check out some of our other great free resources.

There are so many wonderful core guides, core questions, and some core Bible studies that you can purchase as well on books from both the Old and the New Testament. While we do get voicemails here at Core Christianity, you can call us 24 hours a day and leave your voicemail question for Adriel. Let us know where you're calling from on your message. The number is 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673. And here's a voicemail that came in from one of our listeners named Richard. I want to let you guys know that I appreciate this service.

I bless your program. I pray for you guys. My question today is, is it possible to reconcile a sinful situation? I was involved in a sexual relationship which I have acknowledged, repented of it, and I've asked God for forgiveness and I'm trying to move forward. However, the other party is constantly attempting to undermine my resolve and trying to get me to indulge in sexual sin. And my question is this, is it possible to rectify that evil through marriage?

Or is the fact that this person shows little regard for my soul and hers? I look forward to hearing your answers. Thank you very much and God bless you. Hey, God bless you, brother.

I thank you for your encouragement. And boy, I think you hit the nail on the head. The last part of your question there, we said, well, what about this person shows little regard for my soul and for her soul?

That's the big concern that I would have. You know, it seems like there's, I mean, real temptation there. And what concerns me is that there isn't a conviction of sin, but it seems like almost more of a stumbling block, like she's trying to get you to disobey the Lord and she's actively doing that. Well, look, marriage doesn't solve those kinds of problems.

It seems like there's a deeper spiritual need here. Now, it's one thing for two Christians who are pursuing marriage, right? There can be a struggle, right? The struggle is with temptation, confessing sin.

That doesn't make it okay, right? But, you know, that's a real struggle. It sounds to me here, though, like you're struggling and she is just trying to get you to sin. And I think in terms of pursuing a lifelong partner for marriage, someone who is demonstrating a disregard for the law of God and for the word of God, I mean, there's some selfishness there, right? Like, I'm going to put my own physical desires before your good and before God's word.

Well, there's a pattern of behavior there that I think is just a major red flag. This is not the kind of person that you would want to pursue in a marriage. Now, Paul does, in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, talk about marriage as a safeguard against burning with passion. And so, you know, that's one of the gifts of marriage, is within marriage, you know, honoring to the Lord, we get to have this relationship with this other person.

We get to engage in marital intimacy and in a way that's honoring to God. But it's not like marriage, you know, if you have all these other issues, solves all of those other issues. Marriage is not going to fix a struggle with lust, per se. It's, you know, we're talking about an internal sin issue. It's not going to change her to all of a sudden prioritize the Lord and you and your soul. And so I would just caution against thinking about marriage here as the solution to, you know, her trying to tempt you. No, I think you should say, okay, this person is not the right person for me.

I need to find someone who's going to care first and foremost about Jesus, who's going to, you know, take his word seriously and who's going to love me enough, care about me enough to also be concerned for the good of my own soul. And I mean, it goes both ways, right? Women, if you're with somebody who is constantly trying to lead you astray and you're telling them, no, I want to follow Jesus, I want to honor Jesus, and they're not, you know, it just doesn't seem like they're interested in that. Maybe they give lip service to that, but it really doesn't seem like that's the priority for them. You have to ask yourself, okay, does this person really care about me? Do they really care about that which is most important?

Or are they exhibiting by their behavior that what they really care about most is their own sinful appetites? And so we got to take that seriously, especially when we're thinking about marriage and this lifelong partner. And so may God bless you, may God give you courage, and may God help you to walk in all purity and to flee temptation, as the Apostle Paul told Timothy. Don't give any place to that, and don't put yourself in positions where it's going to be easy to compromise, especially if this other person is eager to lead you into sin. I would say you just need to cut that off, and don't engage further, and pray. Pray that this person would really come to prioritize the Lord in her life. God bless. Wow. You know, when I just heard in Richard's voice that desire to follow the Lord, to do the right thing, and here you have someone who, as you said, is actively working against that, and what I've just come back to is that, you know, that commandment or that, you know, urging from Paul to flee from sexual immorality.

And man, that's what he needs to do right now, is to flee from this situation. Yeah, absolutely. And it is, you know, what's deceptive about it, especially in relationships, is, you know, there is a sense of intimacy and closeness that can come with the physical relationship, and we think, oh, this person, they really love me, they really want to be with me, but if they're putting that before honoring the Lord, then do they really, are they really demonstrating love for you, or are they more demonstrating just that they love themselves, that they're lovers of pleasure, rather than lovers of God? And of course, that's precisely what the New Testament says that the latter days would be filled with. And so for all of us, I think for all of us, I think this is just something to be cautious of, to be aware of, and for our brother, may God bless him and give him wisdom, and continue to help him against temptation. Amen. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go to Chuck in Missouri. Chuck, we've just got about a minute left.

What's your question for Adriel? Yeah, my question was that I have a, I believe in assurance of salvation, but at the same time, I know there's a lot of passages that say, if you keep my commandments, and if you love me, you'll keep my commandments, and the Father will love you, and in John 14, I believe, and then he says, abide in the vine. So if we don't keep the commandments, and we turn our back on God, I personally believe that God would turn his back on us, because assurance is one thing, but eternal security, I think, because I've seen people that were doing just the opposite of evangelizing, they're tearing God down after they said they were Christian, and we're doing the same thing as passing out gospel tracts and such.

Okay. Chuck, great question. I mean, yeah, and bringing up John 14 and John 15, Jesus talking about abiding in the vine, and the one who abides in him bearing much fruit, I think here's what we can say. We can have assurance, and we're meant to have assurance of salvation. John says, you know, you who believe, I'm writing these things to you, this is 1 John, that you might know that you have eternal life. I think God wants us to rest in the work of Christ, and to believe that God has indeed given to us eternal life, but faith, true faith, never is absent of works, in the sense that, right, it's not that faith and works are the same thing, or that faith is itself a work, or that we're putting faith, you know, as a sort of constitutive, or works as a constitutive part of faith, but true faith works in that it pursues the Lord. It seeks to love him and know him.

Why? Because we recognize what he's done for us, and united to Jesus, right? We do indeed bear fruit.

It's his work, the work of the Holy Spirit, and so that's what John is getting at there in John 15. Thanks for listening to Core Christianity. To request your copy of today's special offer, go to corechristianity.com forward slash radio, or you can call us at 1-833-843-2673.

That's 833-THE-CORE. When you contact us, let us know how we can be praying for you, and be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's Word together.