Is It Okay to Lust After Your Spouse?

Is it okay to lust after your own spouse? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. The CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673. You can also post your question on one of our social media sites, and check out Adriel Live in the studio right now on YouTube. You can send him your question through our YouTube channel, and you can always feel free to email us at questionsatcorechristianity.com.

First up today, here's a voicemail from one of our listeners named Sandy. The Bible says to tithe 10%. I am saved, and my husband is not. He does not agree with that. So, where should I stand on this, and what should I do? The second question is, because I am saved, I want to attend church regularly, and he does not.

So, where should I stand on this also? Sandy, the first encouragement that I have for you would come from the words of the Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. You don't know how the Lord is going to use you in your husband's life. And so, continue to love Jesus, to dig into the Word of God. And I would say, and this gets at your second question, to still be immersed in the life of the church.

God calls you to worship him, and to be a part of a worshiping community. And so, even if your husband doesn't want to go, I think it's still important for you to go, just as a matter of faithfulness and Christian obedience. But the Apostle Paul does say, this is 1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 12, And the rest I say, I, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.

And if any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Now, what does that mean, that your husband is made holy through your faith in Jesus Christ?

Some magical thing that's happening. I think Paul's point is that through your influence, through the charity and the work of the Holy Spirit in your life, you're having an impact on your husband. And in that sense, it's having this, we might say, sanctifying effect. There's action, this verb, being made holy, led to, ultimately, to the Lord.

And that's what Paul goes on to say in verse 16. Again, this is 1 Corinthians 7, for how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? In other words, God may use you, Sandy, to bring the gospel to your husband. And I pray, oh, Lord, Lord, make that happen.

Be at work in my sister's life. Fill her with your spirit. Give her opportunities to talk about you, to share the gospel with her husband. And I pray that his heart would be softened, open to your truth, Lord. I pray that he would come to the point where he wants to go to church and he wants to give to the church, Lord, because of the great work that you have done and because he's experienced your grace.

And so be with our sister, Sandy. And so I would say continue to go to church, Sandy. Now, with regard to the tithing question, you know, that's right.

You're married. I'm assuming that you guys share finances, which I think is a good thing for married couples to do. And so, you know, you want to give to the Lord because you feel like God has called you to that, but you also want to honor your husband. Even though he doesn't maybe understand the gospel yet, he's not a Christian.

And so I would say this is an area where there's a little bit more freedom. Of course, God knows your heart's desire to be generous and to give, but you also need to honor your husband and respect him. And you wouldn't want him to resent God and his word because, you know, you were, you know, giving this money that he worked hard for, that the two of you worked hard for to this church.

He just doesn't understand that. I think about what the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 9. The point is this, whoever sows sparingly, this is verse 6, will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And so the question here is, you know, well, could your husband do that? Could he give reluctantly, you know, not under compulsion? Could he do so cheerfully? Well, probably not if he doesn't understand the Christian faith. Maybe that's a conversation you can have. Maybe he thinks, okay, well, you know, this money is going to good things, and my wife, you know, she appreciates this and enjoys this, and there would be a willingness.

And in that situation, I would say great. But if it's not that, if it's something he doesn't understand, then I think giving as you're able but continuing to have that conversation with your husband and pray that the Lord brings him to a place where, as Paul says there, he's wanting to give joyfully and not reluctantly. May the Lord bless you.

Some really good counsel. Thanks for that, Adriel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez.

Our phone lines are open. We're ready to hear from you. If you've got a question about the Bible or the Christian life, maybe there's a passage of scripture that's always kind of confused you. You'd like some clarification on that.

Or maybe there's something going on in your own Christian life that you're struggling with. We'd love to pray for you. Here's the number. It's 833-THECORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Let's go to Rodney, who's calling in from Iowa. Rodney, what's your question for Adriel? Hi, Adriel.

Hey, I love your show. My question is, yesterday on the radio, I heard a preacher say that Philip was as far as Africa. And that didn't sound familiar to me, but I know, you know, he baptized the eunuch in the pool, and then God took him and dropped him at his azotus. But when something doesn't sound familiar to me, I immediately go to scripture. I don't take anybody's word for anything, you know what I'm saying? I'll go to God first.

But anyway, can you tell me where I can find that or where that's at, if it's in there? Thanks, Adriel. Hey, well, one, thanks for your encouragement, Rodney. I'm drawing a blank in terms of if there's anything to suggest in scripture that Philip went as far as Africa. Of course, we know, you know, things are not going to go great for, you know, the disciples early on in the Book of Acts and throughout the Book of Acts, they're going to be persecuted, and that's going to lead to spreading. You're going to have the movement of the gospel out from Jerusalem, Judea, the uttermost parts of the earth. And I think that's one of the things that you get with the situation of Philip in the Ethiopian eunuch where the gospel is preached to him. So presumably, you know, in that sense, right, the gospel is spreading to the uttermost parts of the earth, to places like Africa. But in terms of, you know, whether or not Philip was, you know, there, he actually went as a missionary.

I'm not entirely certain. I know there are a number of sort of ecclesiastical traditions that have developed over time, and people say, well, you know, this disciple ended up here and that disciple ended up over there. And so there is, you know, some church history to back some of those things up. I'm just not sure about the situation with Philip in particular and going to Africa.

And so, sorry, I can't be more helpful there, but I do think it's, I mean, what we can say, and I appreciate that you want to ground everything in scripture, what we definitely can say is that the gospel which Philip preached went to Africa, that same gospel. And really, that's the main thing. It's not the minister, the person. It's the message.

That's what's, you know, spreading wings and flying throughout the world. God uses people, but the focus is not on the individual or the person. The focus is on the message, that apostolic message that goes, as was prophesied, from Jerusalem to Judea and Samaria and the uttermost parts of the earth and has continued to spread to this day. And our job, and this is, again, where I appreciate what you said, is to be faithful to that word, to guard that word, the good deposit of faith, so that it might continue to spread and bear fruit throughout the world. God bless. So well said.

Thanks for that, Adriel. And interesting, of course, to see where the Christian church is in Northern Africa and some places. And certainly in Egypt, you have the Coptic Church trying to survive and thrive there in a difficult environment. So we've got to pray for our brothers and sisters, right, that are in those difficult places in the world.

Yeah. I mean, that's what the author of the Hebrews says later in the book of Hebrews. We have to pray for our brothers and sisters throughout the world, especially those who are persecuted, because we're one body. We're one church with them. And so we want to remember those who are suffering as though we were suffering with them. And so what an opportunity we have there, and really more than an opportunity, a call that God has given to us as church is here to be praying for our brothers and sisters throughout the world who are experiencing persecution. Amen. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez.

We'd love to hear from you. If you have a question about the Bible, the Christian life, doctrine, theology, something going on at your church that you're confused about, feel free to give us a call. 833-THE-CORE. That's 1-833-843-2673.

You can also leave a voicemail at that number anytime. And here's a voicemail that came in from one of our listeners named Keith. The question today, it comes out of my reading this morning from Luke 24. Jesus has risen from the dead and is walking with the men on the road to Emmaus, and they begin talking about Jesus and his Old Testament prophecy and just how he's predicted and all the things that he was going to do all the way from Moses to that current moment. And once they sit down at the table at one of the men's houses, they talk a little bit more, and then Jesus breaks the bread and his identity is revealed to them.

And then later on when they go to meet the disciples and tell them about their encounter with Jesus, they talk about breaking the bread and Jesus being revealed. So just curious what the significance there is and just your guys' thoughts on that. I appreciate all that you guys do. Thanks.

Okay. A couple of things there. Keith, I almost couldn't pay attention to your question because it sounded like you were in such a beautiful place, like there were birds and butterflies.

I mean, I'm just picturing you in a garden or something like that. It sounds like you were, yeah, and boy, if that's where you were reading Luke 24, I mean, to do your devotions in the secret garden, that's great. I love this text, and I think that there's a lot for us to glean from that passage in particular. One, the fact that the centrality of Jesus Christ in all scripture. Here you have these two disciples that are devastated. Jesus has been killed. Everybody's talking about this, and they're walking and downcast, and Jesus comes alongside of them on the road. They don't recognize him, and they didn't recognize what the Bible taught. They didn't understand the centrality of Christ, the Messiah, and all of scripture, and so Jesus begins to open their eyes to help them understand the word, and he's challenging them. He says to them, O foolish ones, and slow to heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken.

That's verse 25. They draw near to the village where they were going. He acted as if he was going to go further, but they urged him strongly to stay.

Stay with us, they said, for it's toward evening, and the day is now far spent. He went in to stay with them, and when he was at the table with them, he took the bread and blessed it and broke it and gave it to them, which has the echoes of the institution of the Lord's Supper, certainly. Verse 31, their eyes were opened, and they recognized him, and he vanished from their sight. And they said to one another, Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the scriptures? And they rose that same hour and returned to Jerusalem.

Now, so what are some of the big practical takeaways here? I mean, first, we just see, like, human blindness, right? They're unable to, apart from the grace of God and the help of the Holy Spirit, to recognize Jesus when he's right in front of them. And I think that says something to us, right? Like, as the disciples of Jesus, how easy it is for us to miss Jesus, and where does he reveal himself to us? We don't have the physical presence of Jesus now. He's ascended, but what we do have is the very same thing that those disciples on the road to Emmaus had, the word of God and the breaking of the bread.

And isn't that something? You can have the physical presence of Jesus there with you, the resurrected Lord, and still miss him. And so where does Jesus reveal himself to these disciples?

Where do they really get it? In the word and in the sacraments, in, you know, the whole of Scripture, the law of Moses, the prophets, the Psalms, as we hear in verses 44 and following, but also in the breaking of the bread. Sometimes I think people today think, I mean, if I only had the presence of Jesus, if I could see him, then I would really get it. No, what you need is what he's given to you and where he promises to reveal himself to you, to open your eyes to who he is, and it's in the word and in the sacraments.

And so I would say that's one of the big, practical takeaways here. We see the hardness of the human heart, our own blindness, but then we see the grace of God to condescend to us and to reveal himself to us through his word. And so what an encouragement. We may not have the physical presence of Jesus that the disciples on the road to Emmaus had, but we do have what they needed, even more than that in that moment, the word and the sacraments.

Thanks for that question. I just love that Bible passage myself and always love to read it around Easter time. It's so inspiring. And by the way, that passage is only in the book of Luke. And if you want to learn more about the book of Luke, we actually have a great Bible study. In fact, we have a bunch of Bible studies on a variety of both Old Testament and New Testament books, and we'd love to get those in your hands. Yeah, this is just one of the ways you can continue to grow in your faith. I mean, we want to encourage you to study the word of God, to be in the scriptures. And we've created these Bible studies to help you to do that. They're 10-week Bible studies that'll take you deeper through a particular book of the Bible.

And you could go through them on your own, or you can get a group together in your church, maybe a Sunday school or something like that, where you guys go through the studies together. And so get ahold of these resources. They're available for a gift of $15 or more over at corechristianity.com. If you can find those, just go to corechristianity.com forward slash radio. All of our daily offers are located there now. Again, that's corechristianity.com forward slash radio, and browse through some of the great Bible studies that we are offering. Well, we'd love to hear from you. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, give us a call at 833-THE-CORE. Let's go to Tommy, who's calling in from Missouri.

Tommy, what's your question for Adriel? Yes, I was wondering why most churches have an image of Jesus that's different than the one described in the Bible. Tommy, I can't speak for most churches, but what I can say is it really isn't even something we should have to begin with, in part because God said we shouldn't make images of him. And one of the reasons why God said that in his law was to guard against the very thing that you brought up, the fact that it's so easy for us as human beings to misrepresent God. I mean, just think of it in human relationships.

You know, it's never good when someone misrepresents you to someone else, when they paint a picture of you that doesn't accurately depict who you are. And in this situation, we're talking about the Lord God Almighty, and it's so easy for people to misrepresent him. And one of the ways that people did that in the ancient world was through images and so forth. And so that's why you have these words, and so forth, and so that's why you have these prohibitions. And so why is it that churches maybe have set that aside, that they don't care about that, or that they continue to do it? I think, you know, there are a number of things that we could point to.

I know for some people it's aesthetics. I know for others it's, well, this is a way to teach others, to teach the faith is through images and so forth. But I think we have to guard against what the Bible says we need to guard against, which is misrepresenting God.

And so I share your concern. I think, Tommy, that if we want to represent God best, we need to faithfully proclaim his word. We need to let him do the talking, the speaking. We need to let him reveal himself, lest we create him in our own image. God bless you.

Good word. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adrian Sanchez. If you have a question about the Bible or the Christian life, you can leave us a voicemail.

In fact, you can do that this weekend. We'll do our best to review all those voicemails and get to yours. Here's the number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. And here's a voicemail from one of our listeners named Josh. I know lust is a sin, but is it okay to lust after your wife? Hey, Josh, thank you for that question.

So I would say a couple of things. I think that lust is probably not the word we want to use in that context when we're talking about our relationship with our spouse. If what you mean is to have these strong sexual desires or feelings or attraction for your spouse, I think that's a good thing. The Bible talks about that. But lust in particular, looking at something or someone associated with covetousness that isn't yours, and lusting after that person or that thing, that's not a good thing.

That's not okay. That's sin. That's idolatry.

It's associated. Covetousness is associated with idolatry. And the other issue here, in particular, lusting for another person, the other issue here is objectifying that person. So that's something you never want to do even with your spouse, to treat them like an object for your own gratification, your own sexual gratification. And insofar as lust, that's what it does, is it objectifies another person.

It begins to view them as some thing instead of a person, a creature made in God's image worthy of dignity, respect, and care, and so forth. I don't think it's appropriate to talk about lusting after your wife. Now, again, the Bible does speak about the beauty, the glory, the goodness of marital intimacy. It celebrates that. The entire book of the Song of Songs is a celebration of marital intimacy.

It's erotic love poetry, not done in a crass way, but in a way which exhibits the goodness of the union between man and woman. And I also think of that text in Proverbs 5, verse 17. So this is a warning against adultery and immorality.

Actually, I'll go back a few verses. Verse 15 says, drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets, let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. So again, this is a warning against adultery. Not for strangers with you, let your fountain be blessed and rejoice in the wife of your youth. A lovely deer, a graceful doe, let her breasts fill you at all times with delight. Be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with the forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? And so right there you have this language, very beautiful, poetic, vivid language about the goodness of that marriage union, of the intimacy that exists between a man and a woman, a married man and a woman. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight.

Be intoxicated always in her love. And so that's a good thing. Nothing wrong with that. That's a good thing.

But I don't know that we would want to call that lust. Thank you for your question. You're listening to Core Christianity. Let's go to Bill calling in from Iowa. Bill, what's your question for Adriel? Hi, Adriel.

I enjoy listening to your show. I have a question about, and I believe it's 1 Corinthians, chapter 14, where he talks about women being silent in the church they should not speak. Now, if I attend a church where both the pastor and his wife both preach, is that against Scripture?

Hey, Bill, thank you for that question. There are a couple of places in the New Testament where it talks about the qualifications for an elder and who should be teaching or preaching in the context of the Christian worship service. You see this in 1 Timothy. You also see this in 1 Corinthians, chapter 14, where there is a prohibition on women speaking. This is verse 33. For God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak but should be in submission, as the law also says. Now, there's some debate about, okay, is this in the context of judging prophecies?

Because that's what's happening in 1 Corinthians 14. He's talking about, right, let two or three prophets speak, verse 29, and let the others weigh what is said. And the others, there are some who say, well, that's probably the elders of the church, the leadership of the church, judging, discerning between what has been said. And in that context, because the women weren't serving as elders in the church, they're not to speak. They're not to exercise judgment over those prophecies.

That's for the elders of the church. Or is this just a sort of a blanket statement? I take it as a prohibition against teaching or preaching. I see the same thing in 1 Timothy as well, which is not to say that women can't or shouldn't teach outside of the context of the local assembly, what takes place on a Sunday morning.

It's my view that they can. There are many women who are gifted teachers and who are even skilled in teaching theology. I think that's a good thing.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But in the context of Christian worship on the Lord's day, I think it's the called qualified elder, male elder of the church who's supposed to be preaching the word of God. And so churches that don't do that, I know that there's debate about these texts, but I would say that the churches that don't do that, that don't embrace that, aren't falling in line with these passages. Now, is that an error that condemns an individual for all eternity, that kind of a thing?

No, I think this isn't one of those errors that strikes at the vitals of the gospel, but it is an error, I would say. And so it's an important thing for us to think about. We wanna be in churches that are ordered biblically and that have a high view of God's word. And that's what we should pursue.

And so, yeah, I think that's where I would leave it. This is a conversation certainly that you ought to be having with your church and the leadership there. I know sometimes churches have sort of pastors and their wives teams, but the church calls the pastor and the wife should be not considered as a part of that calling as well. God bless. Thanks for listening to CORE Christianity. To request your copy of today's special offer, visit us at corechristianity.com and click on offers in the menu bar or call us at 1-833-843-2673.

That's 833, the CORE. When you contact us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program. And be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's word together. See you next time.