If Singleness Is a Blessing, Why Does It Feel like a Curse?

I'm discontent with being single.

What should I do? That's just one of the questions we'll be answering on today's edition of CORE Christianity. Well, hi there and happy Friday. I'm Bill Meyer, along with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. You can call us right now with your question at 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. You can also post your question on one of our social media sites, and you can actually watch Adriel live in the studio right now on our YouTube channel and message us that way. And of course, you can always email us a question at questionsatcorechristianity.com. First up today, let's hear a question from one of our listeners named Jose. I just have a difficulty understanding my past being raised as a Catholic, but I battle with the faith of idolizing when I have idol like Jesus Christ or the Virgin Mary. Am I doing something wrong as a believer confused by traditional and today? Am I holding myself back where the devil is in my mind, battling with me as in my beliefs and my faith? Thank you.

Jose, thank you for that call and for that question. There are different practices that people have in terms of wanting to draw near to the Lord, and there are things that God calls us to do that I think is important for us to be doing as Christians. You think of prayer, how many times in Scripture we're exhorted to, commanded to pray and to offer our hearts to the Lord in that way.

The study of God's Word, the study of Scripture growing and our understanding of Scripture, so, so important. Gathering together with other believers to hear the Word, to fellowship with one another, that's something that we see in the Bible in Scripture. But having statues and figurines and incorporating that into our piety, that's not really something that you see in the Bible. In fact, the earliest Christians were often accused of being atheists because they didn't have statues and images and all these things that the pagan nations had. Of course, you mentioned the prohibition that God gives us in His law pertaining to idolatry. The people of God are not to make images. That's the second commandment, to bow down before them and to worship them. It sounds to me, I'm not sure exactly how you're incorporating this stuff or the way in which you're using this, but it's very clear to me, according to the Scriptures, that that's not really something we're supposed to be doing.

In fact, God is very clear about that in the second commandment. I would say, as you continue going to church, focus on drawing near to the Lord in the ways that He's prescribed in His Word. That is through the Word, growing in your understanding of Scripture, growing in your relationship with others in the church, around the Word of God, committing your life to prayer, coming before the Lord every morning, every day, praying to Him as the Lord Jesus taught us to pray. That's really the kind of piety that the Lord blesses. It's as we're growing in the Word, as we're growing in prayer, as we're drawing near to Jesus through the means that He's provided for us, that we grow spiritually.

It's easy to get distracted with our own ideas. I think that we have to be really careful that we're not trying to draw near to the Lord in a way that He doesn't call us to, because that can confuse us, that can confuse others, and often we just say it's not pleasing to the Lord if it's not in accordance with His Word. I'm grateful to hear that you're going to a church and that you're drawing near to Jesus in that way, and may the Lord continue to bless you, Jose. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. We'd love to hear from you if you have a question about the Bible, the Christian life, Christian doctrine, or what's going on in today's world and how your faith intersects with that. Here's the phone number. It's 833-THE-CORE.

That's 1-833-843-2673. Here's a question from Kieran in St. Louis, Missouri. Hi. I am a single woman who's never been married, have longed to be married, and I love the Lord with all my heart. I'm going to be 63 here in a couple of weeks, and is it wrong for me, because I just am not content in my singleness? Anyway, that's my question. Is it wrong for me to be discontent in my singleness? Anyway, that's my question.

Thank you. Thank you for that question. It's not wrong to desire a husband, to desire to be married. If that's what you mean, is it bad that I have this desire that I just can't seem to shake this desire?

Well, no. I would say you take that desire to the Lord. You pray that the Lord provides a husband. You meet people in your church and spend time with others and just ask for the Lord's guidance.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that. If by discontentment you mean you're growing bitter and maybe even angry at the Lord or it's affecting your faith, well, I think that that can be an issue. Certainly, contentment is something that we're called to as Christians in all circumstances. That is trusting the Lord and continuing to walk with the Lord even when things don't go our way. Oftentimes in the Christian life, when things don't go our way, that's when we're tempted to turn away from God and we're tempted to sin against the Lord, because we feel like he's not giving us what we want or what we deserve, that kind of a thing. Well, we have to continue to be faithful to the Lord in seeking him, in worshipping him, even when we don't have everything that we want. I would say cultivating that kind of contentment, the contentment that says, Jesus, I love you, which is what you said. I'm going to keep following you, but this is a desire that I have, Lord, and I'm praying that you would provide for me in this way. In the meantime, continuing to be faithful to the Lord, to fix your eyes upon him, that undivided attention that the apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7, that he says, in particular, when an individual is single, we can give the Lord that undivided attention. And as you do that, also praying and seeking the Lord and asking him to provide a husband for you and seeing what he does.

And so I would say that's the best approach. Bill, I don't know if you want to add anything there. Well, I just have a question for you, Adriel, following up then. I know we have a lot of older singles who listen to this program. How would you say God is calling us to strike a balance between, on the one hand, trusting him that if he's going to deliver a mate, bring someone to our lives, that that's going to happen, and then being proactive and actually, as you said, get out there, meet people, find opportunities to meet other Christian singles. It seems like that's the biggest challenge, because some people might say, I'm just going to sit here in my apartment and wait for God to, you know, the doorbell is going to ring and Prince Charming is going to be at the door, where others are on every dating site, you know, known to man looking for a single, you know, for a mate.

What do you think? Such a good question, and it's really applicable not just to this, but in so many areas, right? Like, I remember when I was finishing up seminary and looking to pursue pastoral ministry and thinking about getting a call to the ministry, you know, wanting to say, okay, I'm trusting you, Lord, to provide this, but also being proactive and networking and serving the church and using my gifts, you know, in the context of the body of Christ so that there would be opportunity.

So it's sort of a both and. It's saying, with something like this in seeking a relationship and seeking marriage, it's saying, God, I trust you and I'm going to follow you, but I'm also going to, there's nothing wrong with, I mean, you mentioned the dating websites, that kind of, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I think Paul makes it very clear in 1 Corinthians 7 that if we're going to be married, we need to marry someone who's in the Lord, you know, not being unequally yoked, as he says to the Corinthians. And so I think there's freedom there for us to be able to pursue those relationships with other believers who are, you know, in love with Jesus and would make a good spouse and exercising wisdom there. You know, if we're so consumed with it that we're not trusting God and we're trying to force something or taking the whole thing into our hands, well, then I think that could be a problem. And that requires wisdom to discern that, you know, am I trying to force something that isn't meant to be or am I not being proactive when I should be proactive and free to be proactive?

So there's a balance that needs to be struck, as you say, and at the heart of it is trusting God and continuing to fix our eyes on Jesus as we pursue a spouse, I would say. Great counsel. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez. Let's go to Charlie calling in from Illinois.

I think we still have Charlie on the line. Charlie, what's your question for Pastor Adriel? Can you hear me?

Yes, I can hear you, Charlie. OK, well, my life versus Galatians two twenty and it says I'm crucified with Christ. Nevertheless, it's not I, but it's Christ that now liveth in me in the life I now live. And the flesh I live by the faith is none of God loved me, gave himself for me. Well, I always thought that I am crucified with Christ. I went down into waters of baptism and then when I say, yet it's not I, but it's Christ that liveth in me, then I would always think, well, that's when I came up out of the water.

But this morning when I heard talking about that particular verse, he didn't talk a bit about baptism. And I was actually in the roofing business for many years. And I had my scripture verse just abbreviated on the side of the truck, Gal two twenty. And people would ask me, oh, what's that, Gal two twenty? And I'd say, oh, that's my life first. And they'd say, oh, what's that? Well, that tells about how, you know, I'm crucified with Christ and I'd tell him it's going down in the waters of baptism. Then I come back up, yet it's not I, but it's Christ that now liveth in me. And I wasn't sure if I was explaining that right, because I tell you, I've told quite a few hundred people that over the many years I've been in the roofing business.

So I don't know if I have that. I don't want to add anything to the Bible. I mean, God really for tells us, don't do that. So I'm not sure if I'm saying that right.

And I say, Erwin Lutzer this morning didn't say anything about what baptism is. Do I have that right or wrong? Charlie, I love. Well, just a couple of things. One, I love that you just put that verse right there on the side of your truck and that you've been able to have hundreds of conversations about the gospel, about Jesus, about baptism with people because they were asking that question. So I think that that's really cool, man. God bless you, brother, in that. And I love that you're thinking about baptism in this verse. I think a lot of people read Galatians chapter 2, verse 20, and their mind doesn't go to baptism. But when you read the book of Galatians in its entire context and you think about everything that baptism signifies, there really is, I think, this baptismal imagery that we're getting there in verse 20.

I'm just going to read it again. I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. In the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. Now, just in the very next chapter, the apostle Paul is going to talk about being baptized into Christ, chapter 3, verse 27, for as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.

You're clothed with Christ. And when we're baptized, what are we baptized into? We're baptized into the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, for example, Paul in another book when he writes to the Romans in Romans chapter 6, he says beginning in verse 4, We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing so that we should no longer be enslaved to sin.

So I think you're 100% right and you're picking up on something that a lot of people miss. And if we don't sort of have all of Paul's theology in our mind as we're looking at that verse in the context of Galatians and the things that he says elsewhere, like there in Romans chapter 6 about baptism and being crucified with Christ and putting on Christ, it'd be easy to miss. But I think you're on the right track and it really is this beautiful picture of the significance of baptism as well. And it's not just an outward sign of my inward faith, it's God the baptizer by faith and through the waters of baptism joining us to Jesus in his death and resurrection.

This image, this sign and seal of death and resurrection in Christ, it really is amazing. And so I think it's wonderful that you've been able to have these conversations with people and you're on the right track, brother. God bless you.

Hey, Charlie, thanks so much. We're going to send you a complimentary copy of our Galatians Bible study, which we think you will definitely enjoy. It really digs in to this wonderful letter to the Galatians.

So hang on the line, we'll get your address from you and send that off to you. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adrian Sanchez, and here's a question that came in from Matt on YouTube. He says, in what ways can a congregation support their pastor, particularly in these times that we are currently living in?

Man, I can't tell you how much I love this question. This has been, and I can speak as a pastor, the last two years especially have been a really difficult time in ministry because of so many things happening just in broader society and culture. You think of everything that was happening with the pandemic and worship and trying to organize worship services. It's just been a difficult time, and I know that a lot of ministers are exhausted, and there's a lot of criticism.

There's a lot of criticism that comes our way at times, and so I think one thing, Matt, that you can do is be an encourager. I can't tell you, I've received from members of our church emails or a text message here and there. Sometimes it's out of the blue, but it's just an encouragement maybe related to the sermon that I just preached or something that I wrote or something that I did, but just an encouragement.

Sometimes those text messages, those email encouragements that come out of the blue, they can be water in the desert. You don't know what it is that your pastor is going through right now and whether or not he has a lot of encouragement. I would say those things are huge, just making sure that you're articulating to your pastor the ways in which his ministry has blessed you.

I would say encouraging in that way. Other ways, being just on board with the mission of the church in terms of advancing the gospel, supporting that mission, realizing that you play a role, an important role in the life of the church. You are a member of the body of Christ, and so engaging with the body of Christ and using your gifts for the edification of the body, that's huge. That's one of the biggest ways I think that we can support the ministry that's taking place, our pastors, because sometimes I think people can think of church as the pastor does everything, he's up there, we're sort of going and we're spectators. But the pastor is just one member of the body of Christ who has a very important role in terms of equipping the saints and doing the work of the ministry.

But all of us are knitted together in love, as Paul says in Ephesians 4, and the body is only healthy as each of us are using the gifts that God has given to us for the building up of the whole. So be engaged in the life of your church with the gifts that God has given to you, and that's a huge support for the body and for your pastor. And the last thing I'll say is, man, gift cards to good restaurants, that's always cool, I don't mind that, or a good coffee shop that your pastor likes to frequent. If there are ways that you can bless your pastor in that way, if the Lord has provided for you, then yeah, do that. And let's not forget, friends, about pastor's wives. There are a lot of pressures in ministry on the pastor in particular, and as I mentioned, especially in the last couple years, it's been difficult for many pastors, but also the pastor's wife. Ministry can be an isolating experience, and so be praying for your pastor, be praying for your pastor's wife.

Encourage them with emails, with text messages, and gift cards to nice restaurants and so on and so forth, but pray, and thank you for that question. That's a great question, thanks so much, and for your willingness to support your pastor and his ministry, that is so cool. This is Core Christianity with Pastor Adriel Sanchez, and if you are a parent or a grandparent, we have a special resource we want to tell you about today. It's a book from a friend of this show, author and theologian Nancy Guthrie.

Yeah, she was on the broadcast not too long ago, so make sure if you weren't able to catch when we had Nancy on Core Christianity that you go back into the archives, if you will, and find that program, because it was really good. It was such a blessing to have her, and we're offering her book, What Every Child Needs to Know or Should Know About Prayer. It's a mini biblical theology of prayer. If you have children or grandchildren, you're wanting them to grow in their relationship with the Lord. In having a heart of prayer, get ahold of this resource.

It's just a wonderful book. To pick up a copy of What Every Child Should Know About Prayer, just head over to corechristianity.com forward slash offers. That's corechristianity.com forward slash offers, or you can call us for that resource or any one of our resources. Here's the phone number, 833-843-2673.

That's 833, the core. Well, let's go to a voicemail we received from one of our callers last week. Hi, I have a comment about this episode. I was listening, and then Pastor Adrian said there's no indication in the Bible that Satan hears us. But I think that in the book of Acts chapter 16, Paul spoke to the slave girl who was possessed by an evil spirit, and then Paul commended in the name of Jesus Christ. And then the devil departed. And also, Mark 16, at the end of that chapter, Jesus said that he has given the disciples, I guess us as well, the authority to cast out demons in the name of Jesus Christ.

So I think Christians do have an authority given by God to cast out demons, and we can speak to the devil to cast out the demons. So I'm wondering about your opinion on this. Thank you. Thank you for the great show.

Bye. Hey, thank you for that question and just for asking for clarification. I do always appreciate it when we get phone calls and people want clarification on something that I've said.

And it's helpful for me as well. So the question that we received in particular was, does Satan hear me if I talk to him? And my concern, one, was, well, we shouldn't be talking to Satan. So if you're trying to talk to Satan, have a conversation with him, don't, stop.

And so that was one part of it. But the other part was just, Satan is a created being. He's a finite creature. An angel, no doubt that God created good who turned evil, but he's not omnipresent. He's not omniscient as the Lord is. And so Satan, in particular, no, he can't just hear everything.

Now, he does have demons. There are, you know, evil spirits, demons, fallen angels who are going to and fro throughout the earth, if you will, seeking to lead people astray, the spirit of the Antichrist that's working in the world today. And we as Christians, right, there is, you know, because the Spirit of Christ lives in us, the evil one can't touch us. And there is this authority that God has given to his church, to the apostles in particular. And so that's why you see what was taking place there, like in Acts 16, with Paul casting the demon out of the servant girl who had his spirit of divination, or also the passage at the end of Mark that you mentioned. So there's no contradiction there. My focus was on the fact that Satan, as a created being, is not omniscient, omnipresent.

He can't hear you in particular when you're speaking. So, God bless. We actually have a great little booklet on that. It's called Can the Devil Read My Mind?

And you can find that by going to our website, corechristianity.com forward slash offers. Well, as we wrap up the program today, here's a question that came in from Rick via email. He says, Luke, being the careful historian that he was and knowing that Jesus was crucified, a Roman form of execution by placing someone on a cross. So why would Luke refer to Jesus being hung on a tree in Acts 5, 30, and 10, 39?

That's a great question. In particular, that text is alluding to a passage in the Old Testament referring to the curse, essentially, the covenant curse on those who broke God's law. And so, Jesus, I mean, we could say, in a very real sense, was hung on a tree. The cross was made of wood. And on the wood of that tree, the tree of the cross, Jesus hung and experienced the curse that was due to us, due to lawbreakers, those who had broken God's covenant, been unfaithful to his word, so that we, who were unfaithful, might receive the loving kindness and faithfulness of God, the forgiveness of our sins. So, you're absolutely right, Luke, who wrote the gospel and also the book of Acts, he is a careful historian in the way he gives us the events, but there's no contradiction there. In a real sense, we can, and we do say that Jesus was hung on a tree as he was hung there on the cross, crucified with the nails.

And why did he do that again? It was so that he might bear our curse. And that's what some theologians have referred to as the great exchange. Jesus takes our sin, our curse on the cross, and he gives to you his righteousness, his forgiveness, his mercy. Thanks for listening to Core Christianity. To request your copy of today's special offer, visit us at CoreChristianity.com and click on offers in the menu bar. Or call us at 1-833-843-2673. That's 833-The-Core. When you contact us, please let us know how you've been encouraged by this program. And be sure to join us next time as we explore the truth of God's word together.