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Families Are Dysfunctional...but God - Part A

Connect with Skip Heitzig / Skip Heitzig
The Truth Network Radio
January 20, 2021 2:00 am

Families Are Dysfunctional...but God - Part A

Connect with Skip Heitzig / Skip Heitzig

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January 20, 2021 2:00 am

One of the most used terms in our culture is dysfunctional. It's a descriptor of flawed and broken people. In the message "Families Are Dysfunctional...but God," Skip shares several truths about relational interaction and family dynamics.

This teaching is from the series ...but God.




This week's DevoMail:


Every family is dysfunctional. I don't apologize for that statement. I aim to explain that every family is dysfunctional. Jacob came from a dysfunctional family and is now married into another family.

So you got a brief moment, but you need to see those God is at work. The family unit has broken down. Increasingly over the years, but today on connect with skip-Skip shows you how God can work idly in your home. No matter what struggles your family faces with first want to share about where you can hear even more uplifting teachings from Skip well. I want you to know that because of support from listeners like you. Our media ministry is expanding our weekly half-hour TV program is continuing to grow.

In addition to our we can broadcast on the worldwide song channel we are now being seen each week on the Trinity broadcast network. Thank you for your donations that make this expansion even possible. It's a joy to see the teaching of God's word reach even more people there are the viewing details for Hill song and TBN cats connect with skip. I think on a hillside channel on Saturdays at 4:30 PM Mountain or watch it on TV on Sunday for 5:30 AM Eastern.

Don't miss your chance to die even deeper into God's word with Skip where Genesis chapter 31, Skip Heitzig starts today study so anyone said that families are a lot like five are mostly sweet but sprinkled with some that's everybody has that weird uncle or goofy cousin in our extravagant and you just never know who's going to be in a family to you.

Medium. There was once a mother who had a young daughter daughter said mommy what human beings come from. She said sweetie. God created Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve had children and their children and eventually that's how we came here while she then asked her father the same question were the people come from, and he said while long time ago there were monkeys and they evolved and this is where we came from.

We evolve from from them so not as girls very confuse goes back to mom and said mom I don't understand you sick God created us.

Dad says that we evolved from monkeys.

So which is it an mom smiled and said, sweetheart is quite simple. Your father was explaining his side of the family and I was explaining my side of the family.

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family but you can choose to adjust to your family and you can choose to add positively to your family there was an old husband-and-wife. It been married for years.

They were sitting by the fire. He reached over and took her hand and then he turned toward his wife and had a romantic thought and he said after 50 years, I found you tried and true was sure she could hear very well or hearing was going and she said why and he said after 50 years, I found you tried and true and a scowl came over her face and she said well after 50 years. I'm tired of you to. There is a common term that is emerged over the last few decades, and that is the term dysfunctional dysfunctional family was popularized at first and then late 1960s became very popular in the 70s mainstream in the 80s and then continues to be overused since the 90s. A dysfunctional family and that's a term to describe families that have problems in dealing with one another, and problems that follow the kids after the leave the house. However, dysfunction may be more pervasive than you might think playwright George Shaw once said, if other planets are inhabited, then they must be using earth as their insane asylum and maybe in hearing that, you think he did he know my family looking to Genesis chapter 31 with a look in particular at a family that I would say is dysfunctional and you'll find out why in a moment on fact. I would even say you could take Genesis chapter 27 all the way to chapter 33 and collect dysfunction junction because it is the story of one messed up family we come to chapter 31, which is the story of Jacob and his two wives Rachel and Leah and his father-in-law by the name of Laban and then Laban sons, all of them are in this story there is a little bit of sweet fudge in this family but you'll see there's a whole lot of nuts were chapter 31 if you don't mind, can I scoot back one verse in the chapter 30 just for little but a contact last verse of chapter 30 is verse 43. Let's begin there. Thus the man became exceedingly prosperous. The man here is Jacob Jacob who is now moved married integrated in a new family. Thus, the man Jacob became exceedingly prosperous and had large flocks, female and male servants, and camels and donkeys.

Now Jacob heard the words of Laban's sons paying Jacob is taken away all that was our father's, and from what was our father's.

He is acquired all this wealth and Jacob saw the countenance of Laban, and indeed it was, not favorable toward him as before. The Lord said to Jacob returned to the land of your fathers into your family and I will be with you. So Jacob Santon called Rachel and Leah to the field to his flock and said to them, I see her father's countenance that it is not favorable toward me as before, but the God of my father has been with me and you know that with all my might. I have served your father, yet your father has deceived me and changed my wages 10 times but God did not allow him to hurt me if he said thus the speckled shall be your wages.

Those are speckled animals that all the flocks bore speckled if he said thus the street shall be your wages, that all the flocks bore Street so God is taken away the livestock of your father, and given them to me. What I like to do with what we just read is considered an entry-level's beginning with the most basic level, I want to show you three levels of family, relational life, someone make three statements. The most basic, followed by the second, which is God's response to all that and then the third which is our response to God's response. Let's begin with the most basic is the statement every family is dysfunctional. I don't apologize for that statement.

I aim to explain it. Every family is dysfunctional. Jacob came from a dysfunctional family and he is now married into another dysfunctional family. I want to show you that, in brief in a moment. What you need to see those God is at work in either little bit of research in this this weekend. It seems to be a common thread among those who study this topic and that is that dysfunctional people have a way of attracting other dysfunctional people.

In fact, one author calls them dysfunctional magnets so here's Jacob and here are Laban and there like two peas in the dysfunctional pod is funny how they even came together and what came out of.

Let's begin with Jacob and his sister though Jacob's grandpa was Abraham right you know that his dad was Isaac seed of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, they sound like heroes, as were concerned their Bible heroes, however grandpa was in perfect Abraham deceived. He told lies about his wife on two different occasions. He passed that practice. Unfortunately onto his own son Isaac, who lied about his wife. Later on, and then you come to Jacob that his father Isaac married a woman named Rebecca.

So Isaac and Rebekah have two children, Esau and Jacob when they are born there off to a bad start because one parent favors one child, the other parent favors the other child that just is weird. That's bad stuff so dad Isaac favors Esau, the firstborn, because he sort of a man's man, he likes to hunt ring stuff in and he likes that when it comes to Jacob. Jacob is Rebecca's favorite son. The Bible says he was a mild man that's a Bible way of saying he's a mama's boy.

He stayed home and he cooked and so they started off poorly they're playing off one another because of the favoritism of their parents Melanie at something that before they were born, God made a prediction to Isaac about these two boys. He said the older one is going to serve the younger one, culturally, that was backwards. Culturally, the firstborn is the one to whom the family blessing goes to. Thus, the second born or the youngest usually serve the oldest but God said, not here. The older will serve the younger. Now Isaac should've said I'm good with that because it happened to him. He had an older half-brother by the name of Ishmael.

Ishmael was pushed aside. God selected Isaac to be the son of promise. So when God says to Isaac Newton have two boys.

The older ones gonna serve the younger one he should've said I'm good with that been there done that have the T-shirt will do it again.

But rather than that Isaac tries everything he can to not let that happen. So his wife gets pregnant. There are twins in the womb at the birth. Esau comes out. First is the firstborn and he comes out with a lot of hair so they're very inventive in their naming. They call him Harry.

That's what Esau means Harry so after Harry is born twin number two comes out of the room grabbing onto the heel of Esau. So again they're very creative in their naming. They call them heel catcher. That's what Yaakov means Jacob means supplant or one who grabs the heel or one who trips somebody else so picture that little baby coming out of the womb after number one holding onto the heel as if to say, I want your position that becomes a metaphor for how they live their life. Well, when these boys are grown, Esau, the oldest was been out hunting comes home and finds Jacob guess what he's doing cooking cooking in the tent and is cooking this red chili plus Olay and Esau comes in and said he saw a gimme some of that's true, and Jacob was quick on his feet, says you can have a bowl of this red stew under one condition I want your birthright.

He says that I could care less about that spiritual stuff I'm not into that. Anyway, you can have. They shake on. Years pass.

Fast forward several years. Dad is now old Isaac knows he doesn't have much time so he calls his son Esau, the firstborn is gone hunting come back and bring me some good meet. Then I'll give you the family blessing is to show you how messed the family messed up. The family is Rebecca the old man's wife is eavesdropping on the conversation in the next section of the tent beyond the little tent flap she's listening to this conversation. She takes her favorite son, Jacob, and says let's deceived dad, let's steal the blessing you need to dress up and put some like sheep spur on your skin, so he thinks you're Harry like is what he didn't see. Well anyway so come in and lower your voice a little bit and try to make it smell bad like you been outside and then he'll feel you and he'll think that your your your brother and he'll give you the blessing, so can you see just how messed up this family is so he comes in and pretends to be his brother's father blesses him thinking he's blessing, the firstborn, he takes that blessing the heart and then runs away and gets out of town see that these two boys Esau and Jacob. Complete opposites totally different both flawed but very different.

You discovered that in and having kids that one child is born another child is born there personalities are completely different. I heard about a child psychologist that also had twin boys and one boy was pessimistic and one boy was optimistic and no matter what happened. The pessimism is always down, and always negative and always had a bad thing to say that life is good.

Things great.

So one day this parent this child psychologist decided that he would do something different for the next Christmas, which he did. He decided to buy his pessimistic son.

All the toys all the games and just load his room up with as much as he could. Maybe that would change the and he gave to his optimistic son nothing but a pile of horse droppings kind of cruel experiment right Christmas night.

He walks into the son who's the pessimist with all the toys around of the kids crying that's is what's wrong about all the toys all the games he sets and look at all the manuals I have to read to figure these things out all the batteries I have to have to make these things working as an auger break anyway just crying his pessimistic he goes and into the room of his son, the optimist, and his son, the optimist is dancing and singing and happy dancing around the horse manure is that's is what on earth are you so happy about little boys that will that all this manure there's gotta be a pony in here somewhere. Just the always the optimist will Jacob would be the kid who says if you got a pony I'm steel in it and I'm leaving town. He takes the blessing gets out of town.

But here's what I want you to see backup for a moment. Once you get out of the intrigue of what the family was really look like and you look at the Bible as a whole. You understand that Jacob is considered a biblical hero in the New Testament. He even makes the list in Hebrews chapter 11 of the Hall of Fame of faithful godly people is by faith Abraham by faith Moses and by faith Jacob, his name is mentioned. So he's a Bible hero, yet he is all messed up and highly dysfunctional.

Well he leaves home goes east meets the girl of his dream. Her name is Rachel.

She's gorgeous and he falls hard for Rachel.

Rachel takes Jacob the deceiver home to meet her dad named Laban when Jacob meets Laban.

He has met his match. Laban turns out to be a master deceiver is as you want. My oh my daughter is your wife no problem.

You just gotta work for me for seven years and then shall be your wife and one of the most beautiful romantic passages of the Bible it says and those seven years seemed not at a to him because of the love that he had for so we were seven years.

Then comes the wedding day and that wedding night, and that bride is all dressed up and he thinks it's Rachel but it's not Laban the master deceiver father-in-law switches his daughters on Jacob and gives him not Rachel, the girl he loved but her sister Leah. The older sister who was and is pretty. He wakes up the next day. Turns over in the bed, and seasons later.

That's what Laban Daisy will how is that even possible in those days at weddings, brides were heavily veiled and the husband didn't really get a good look except until the next morning so father-in-law pulls a switcheroo he's just out deceived the deceiver and he's goofing around with his own daughters so he has to work another seven years to get Rachel. Then we come. Years later, to the scene years of past two wives later two more concubine wives later a whole bunch of kids later and then verse one.

Now Jacob heard the words of Laban's sons so that's his brother-in-law, saying Jacob has taken away all that was our father's, and from what was our father's. Here's acquired all this well. Jacob saw that the countenance of Laban. That's the body language.

Now it is when somebody was always looking to you kind of with a nice-looking office and they look at you with a scowl. That's what's happening, and indeed it was not favorable toward him as before. So now you got these two deceivers. They spent time together at this point they can trust each other, and these false accusations are flying in the family about Jacob.

I'm sure that when Jacob left home when he fled after stealing the blessing. He probably thought my glad to be out of that house.

Now I can have a normal life and yet he marries into this family only to discover it's very much the same as his first family. I bring that up because it was an interesting study from Brown University and the researcher said this many people hope that once they leave home, they will leave their family and childhood problems behind.

However, many find that they experience similar problems as well as similar feelings and relationship patterns long after they have left their own family environment is easy to answer why that is because wherever you go you take you all that made you all that formed and shaped to all of that stuff from your background follows you around until you deal with it. The greater point is this. All families are dysfunctional.

All of them.

Every human on this planet has their own issues because every person has her own issues that will affect the balance of the family that therein, and it will affect the balance of the family.

They marry into the take that with and I bring this up because I've heard this for years. He was a but I'm from a dysfunctional family. My answers join the human race.

I am from a dysfunctional family. I conduct a dysfunctional family. I'm a dysfunctional human being and so are you. We don't function the way God originally intended us to function and that's because of one little three letter word called sin happened in the fall. Paul said by one man sin death entered the world and death through sin, and it spread to every were all affected. So it affects every person. Thus, it affects every family every family. Some of you will remember a comedian by the name of George Burns. He lived to be a long time but is no longer with us. George Burns said happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city. Can we just dispel the myth of the perfect family.

There is not one were all broken, flawed individuals. Thus, those of the families in fact may take it a step further.

Even God's family on earth. The church is a dysfunctional family and your part of it. So, no, no, no I'm looking for the perfect church you've heard this before. If you find one, don't join it, you'll ruin it. It doesn't exist to all but the early church.

They were dysfunctional. That's what we should get back to be like yours are really you need to read your Bibles again read.

In fact, first Corinthians, and you'll discover Paul is really writing a polemic against all of the problems in that church and how to correct those problems from not loving each other to abusing spiritual gifts to disorderly conduct at the communion table and at the love feast all the way to incest in that church congregation that they didn't deal with dysfunctional. Then Jesus talked about his salvation and redemption, and the people who would follow him. He called them. Poor broken hearted captive blind oppressed, so we are all broken world dysfunctional people with our own issues. As JI Packer wisely put it, we are all invalids in God's house. Every family is dysfunctional, that Skip the message from the series but God would want to share about an exciting resource that answers your questions about God as you explore who he truly is the best biographies make you feel like you personally intimately know the person you've read about from Mozart to Mother Teresa Sojourner Truth to Steve Jobs. It's exciting to learn the details of influential people, but one biography stands out above the rest. Biography of God hears the author skip. I think there's nothing more elevating to mankind in the study of God himself.

Discover the omnipotence paradox is an mysteries central to God's being and remove the limits you may have placed on who God is.

I've noticed that almost every problem that a person has in their life stems from an inadequate of God's new book is our thanks when you give $35 or more today to help keep this ministry on the air, call 800-922-1888, or get online securely we want to see people come into a relationship with the living kind in the way we get to know him is by knowing his word.

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