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Now let's dive into today's teaching from Pastor Skip Heitzig. There was a guy driving his car out on a country road. And he came to a very narrow bridge. on a narrow road. In front of him was the sign.
Yield.
So he thought, okay, that is my job to yield for oncoming traffic.
So he slows down to a stop. Peers over to see if anybody's coming, it's all clear, so he goes ahead. Later on that afternoon, he comes back over the same bridge, and on that side of the bridge was another sign that said. Yield.
So he thought, well, that's funny. I thought the yield sign was on the first side that I came in on this morning.
So as he went across the bridge, he looked back to make sure. And sure enough, on both sides of the bridge was the sign, Yield. The point being is this, you want to avoid a head-on collision. Both drivers need to yield. In a relationship, You can be stubborn, but both drivers relationally need to yield.
Certainly, the husband. must make, I believe, the final decision, even though it's not right. As we saw last week with Abraham and Sarah. But nonetheless, there is a yielding process that must take place. William Hendrickson said, When grace changes the heart, Submission out of fear.
Changes to submission. out of love.
So submission is mutual. That's the first side of the fortress. Let's move to the second side, the second principle, consideration. is essential. Still in verse 7, husbands likewise.
Dwell with them, that is, dwell, live with your wives. Notice with understanding. Understanding. Simple. Understand what God's purpose for marriage is.
Understand what your role as a husband and her role as a wife is. And above and beyond all things Understand her. I believe that. that husbands should be lifelong students of their wives. They need to understand them.
I need to become a linearist. Having studied her so well. Because I have to know her well if I'm going to love her well. Understanding, dwell with them with that knowledge and understanding. You know, the primary text in Genesis chapter 2.
It says, it is not good that man should be. Alone.
So God says, here's God's solution. I'm going to make a helper. Here's the word comparable to him, comparable, suitable. A counterpart, if you will. I'm going to make a helper as a counterpart.
To him. Actually, in the Hebrew, it says, I am going to make a helper like opposite him. That's an interesting way to put it. Like him. But opposite to him.
And the translation, by the way, suggests polarity. Just like you have a North Pole, you need a South Pole, because otherwise, that planet's going to go nuts. You need a balance. The North Pole to the South Pole.
So Men and women are different. and similar. Like opposite. Yeah, we're the same species. But we are on different wavelengths.
One book on brain physiology states this: men are different from women. They are equal. only in their common membership of the same species Humankind. But to maintain that they are the same in aptitude, and skill, and behavior is to build a society. on a biological and scientific lie.
The book goes on to say: men and women are different because their brains are different. Not better. Not inferior, not superior. Different. And one of the keys to a happy marriage is that you understand that.
Dwell with them with understanding. Men and women differ in so many different areas: basal metabolism, skeletal makeup. Blood composition, heart rate. There are other differences. For example, In a conversation.
A woman, when she speaks, will maintain direct eye contact. for an average of 12 seconds. A man in a conversation will maintain direct eye contact for an average of three. Seconds. Also, women tend to find their identity in close relationships, not men.
They find their identity in what they do, their vocation. A woman will worry about her future until she gets her husband. A man will never worry about his future until he finds a wife. And there are communication differences. For example, Harvard University did a study of little kids on a playground.
They monitored the noises they make. They tape recorded them. And they discovered In listening to little kids' playground conversations, that the sounds that came out of little girls' mouths were actually recognizable words. Whereas The noises that came out of little boys' mouths. Sixty percent were recognizable words, forty percent were sound effects.
Broom, bam, wah. And let me just tell you something. As you get older, things really don't change. I'm here to tell you. Men still like the bottom line.
Just cut to the chase. What are you trying to say? We don't want details, right, men? You know what women want? Details, details, and more details.
One of the reasons why, perhaps, is communication experts tell us the average woman speaks 25,000 words. A day. The average man speaks around 12,500 words per day. Just under halves. And what does that mean in marital terms?
It means that when he comes home in the evening, gals, he's already used up 12,495 words. He's got five left. You, on the other hand, you're just getting started. And he's wondering, how come she talks so much? And she's thinking, he never says anything.
Understanding that will help.
Somebody asked Albert Einstein's wife. Do you understand the theory of relativity? She smiled and said no. But I understand Doctor Einstein. I guess I would ask Dr.
Einstein, hey Einstein. Do you understand your wife? Because that's the meaning of the passage. Husbands dwell with them with understanding. Submission is mutual.
Consideration is essential. Here's a third wall. of this fortress. Cooperation is practical. Same verse.
Giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. and as being heirs together of the grace of life. You know, when it says giving honor, you know what it means? It means to assess or assign. Assign someone a place of honor.
To assess that they have value and to assign that value to that person. Honor is a word that means price or precious or priceless. It means that a husband Should treat her with respect and courtesy and kindness. And how about this word? Chivalry, remember that word?
Let's bring that baby back. Chivalry. Opening doors for women. Yeah, you're let me go. That actually happened?
I knew a guy, he said he opened his girlfriend's. Door for her, but then they got married and he closed the door on her. It was a strange thing. I would not recommend that. Chivalry.
I heard about a man who was walking into an office building. And as he was walking toward the entrance, he saw a young lady walking toward the same entrance at a brisk pace.
So he walked very fast to open the door for her. And as he opened the door for her, she was a little bit more modern and liberated. And she kind of, in a gruffy way, said, Don't open the door for me just because I'm a woman. And he smiled and said, I'm not. I'm opening the door, ma'am, just because I'm a gentleman.
So let that be a part of you. Honor. Treat with honor. Gary Smalley, who has written many books on marriage and relationships. Said, after interviewing hundreds of wives and daughters, there is one consistent plea that is commonly asked by them of all of their fathers and their husbands.
Here it is. Here it is. Please be comforting instead of lecturing. And criticising. It's the one thing.
Overwhelmingly, in these interviews, these gals wanted. Please be comforting instead of lecturing and criticizing. Gary Smalley said this was so important to them that their eyes would actually light up with just the thought that their husbands might learn this responsibility.
Now, there's a phrase after giving honor to the wife. I want you to notice what it says. If I don't deal with this, and I'm going to deal with it very, very cautiously. But you need to know what it means. It says giving honor to the wife is to what?
Go ahead, what does it say? The darker vessel?
Now, can I just say do not go home husbands and and like say, hello, weaker vessel. What's for lunch, weaker vessel? Not a good strategy. You're listening to Connect with Skiff Heitzig Weekend Edition. Every day, friends like you help bring clear verse-by-verse Bible teaching to people searching for truth in a world that often feels confused, divided, and uncertain.
And this month, we want to thank you at the powerful resource designed for times like these. When you give, you'll receive City in Shambles, Pastor Skiff's complete 18-message study through Nehemiah on CD plus digital download. In these messages, you'll discover how God works in seasons of spiritual and cultural collapse, how prayer and obedience become the starting point for renewal, and how ordinary believers can respond with faith instead of fear. We'll send this resource as our thanks when you give $50 or more to support Connect with Skiff Heitzig. Call 800-922-1888 or visit connectwithskiff.com slash offer.
Now, here's the special invitation for you. Hi, I'm Skip Heitzig, pastor of Calvary Church in Albuquerque, New Mexico. and the author of the devotional, Soaring Above It All. If you're a believer who longs to see the big picture of God's Word, But maybe you felt overwhelmed or you've been unable to make all the pieces of God's story fit together. I wrote, soaring above it all.
for you. From Genesis to Revelation, I've highlighted the Bible's big picture. distilling key passages, events, people, themes, and significance. This approachable overview of Scripture will help you stay engaged in God's Word daily. My hope is that as you read through the Bible, this devotional will enable you to better understand God's truth and His heart and plan for your life.
Pre-order your copy now on Amazon or wherever books are sold.
Now let's return to today's teaching.
So you need to know what it means. First of all, you need to know what it doesn't mean. When it says weaker vessel, it doesn't mean that a wife, that a woman, is weaker intellectually. Doesn't mean that. It does not mean that a woman, that a wife, is weaker.
Emotionally, either. In fact, I would say: would you not agree that women are generally more mature on an emotional level? They're able to talk about their emotions. They're able to describe and articulate what they feel. You know, most men, if you ask them, What do you think about that?
They'll tell you. But if you ask them this question, How does that make you feel? They will not know how to answer you. It's just like deer in the headlights. Like a non-sequitur.
I don't know. You ask a woman how that makes her feel? She is ready to tell you.
So they are mature emotionally. When it says weaker vessel, it does not mean intellectually, it does not mean emotionally. And it does not mean spiritually. I'm here to tell you, as a pastor for over 30 years. That when it comes to spiritual things, Women are right there ready to volunteer.
One article that I read. Entitled Women are the Backbone of Religious Congregations in America. Stated, women are 57% more likely to participate in Sunday school, 39% more likely to have daily devotions, 33% more likely to volunteer at church, and 29% more likely to share their faith with somebody else.
So, if he says weaker vessel, and he doesn't mean intellectually or emotionally or spiritually, what does he mean? It's quite simple, really. He simply means on a physical level physiologically generally Women Don't have the physical strength. That men have. In fact, that is.
Shown scientifically, a woman's blood contains more water and 20% fewer red blood cells. Which supply oxygen to the body, which accounts for the fact that she will tire more easily and be more prone to faint.
Now, that's generally speaking. You might say, no, I can whip my boyfriend, I lift weights, okay, but generally speaking, weaker vessel.
Now, let me move away from this as quickly as I can. And say Men. Don't you think We need to know our wives.
So well. that we know the soft spots in their character. Just like when a newborn is brought home, the father and mother know the soft spots, the fontanelles on that baby's head, those little soft spots where the bones haven't fused and come together yet. I think that if a man understands there's soft spots in my wife's character, there's things she struggles with, there's fears that she has, there's people I need to keep away from her because they want to attack. I need to offer strength.
in those areas where There is weakness. Let me put it this way. Treat your wife like fine china. Not like paper plates. Treat them like silverware, not plasticware.
Or as one country sage put it, If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she'll never turn into a nag. Good practical stuff. And then he says, and, and, as being heirs together of the grace. of life. That's companionship.
That's why I say cooperation is practical. You're companions, you're heirs together.
Now, some commentators think that this means purely in the physical sense. They share life together, they share marriage together, they share a home together, they produce life, i.e., their children. Others believe this is speaking on a spiritual level. Eternal life, everlasting life. They share that.
Certainly that's true. A believing husband and a believing wife both are true. You're doing life together, and you're anticipating together eternal life.
So you could look at that as. meaning Jesus died for her. As much as he died for you, gentlemen. That her soul Is as precious to him as your soul.
So keep that in mind when you're treating her, however you treat her. You're dealing with a child of God, a daughter of the living God. I've always loved what Matthew Henry said. He said, Woman was not taken from man's head. to be above him.
She was not taken from his feet. To be walked on by him, but she was taken from his side to be close to him. from under his arm to be protected by him. From near to his heart To be loved by him. Husband?
Remember this. Your wife doesn't want more things, she wants more of you. I want you to hear that. Your wife doesn't want more things. She wants more of you.
Now, I know some of you guys are thinking, you haven't seen my wife's shop. But I contend. The reason she's really good at shopping is because you're not giving her what she really wants, and that's not things. That's you. That's your honor.
That's your esteem. That's your input. That's your companionship. As heirs together, Of the grace of life.
Now it brings me to the final and fourth side of the fortress. And that is this: division is unprofitable. There's one final little. Phrase, little strophe of this verse. That he leaves to the end.
I'm glad he leaves it to the end because it answers a question. You know, you could be listening to this message, reading this verse, and you're going, yeah, you know what? I've heard this before. And it's good. Good stuff.
I agree with it. But is it really that important? Is it that paramount? I'm glad you asked that question. Because notice how it ends.
That your prayers may not Be hindered.
Now look at it all together. Husbands likewise dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. Would that seem to imply that your prayers could be hindered if you don't treat her that way? That sounds logical to me, and it's theological as well. The word hinder means to cut in.
or to interrupt. It's a military term. Of somebody trying to blow up a road so that an enemy can't advance toward you on that road. And here's the point. of Peter's using it, I believe.
Satan's Desire is to Throw a trench. In the road between you and God, and the communication, effective communication that you would have toward God. He wants to interrupt that. Remember what Jesus said to Peter? Peter.
Satan wants to sift you like wheat. I think that's true of every husband here. Satan wants to sift you like wheat. So what is it? What is it that could hinder From your prayers being answered.
Well, actually, there's one special sin that will do that. You know what it is? Unforgiveness. You want to stop up your spiritual effectiveness, just try unforgiveness on for size. Listen to the words of the Lord Jesus Christ in the Sermon on the Mount.
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will forgive. Yeah. If you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father. Forgive you. Never go to sleep at night without forgiving each other for whatever you need to forgive each other for.
There's probably a list. Forgiveness. I'll break this down to one salient principle: this last little wall. Evasion of husbandly duty We'll bring interruption. To heavenly bounty.
Evasion of husbandly duty will invite an interruption to heavenly bounty or blessing. You want to see God's blessing stop? As a husband, fail to do these things.
So I'm pleading with you. If you've got a little picture in your mind of the perfect partner, tear it up now. And accept the imperfect person. You're married to an imperfect person. Can I just say, so is your spouse?
And we fail. And that's why That's why we need to forgive and honor and esteem. and yield Because that is a fortress. designed to keep safe. The inhabitants.
Yeah. Thanks for joining us today on Connect with Skip Heitzig. Before we go, remember, your generosity helps share God's word with people around the world, offering biblical truth and hope in a time when many feel discouraged or overwhelmed. And this month we'd love to thank you for your gift of fifty dollars or more by sending you City in Shambles, Pastor Skiff's complete eighteen message study through Nehemiah on C D plus digital download. These messages will encourage you to respond to brokenness with prayer, repentance, and courageous faith, and remind you that God still rebuilds what's been torn down.
Give today at connectwithskiff.com slash offer or call 800-922. 1888. We'll see you next time for more verse-by-verse teaching of God's Word here on Connect the Skip Heitzig Weekend Edition. Make a connection. Not the foot of the crossing.
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