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Now let's dive into today's teaching with Pastor Skip Heitzig.
So the idea of submit to a husband is to respond to him. To relinquish your rights that you might serve. His needs. John Piper offers this. The husband does not replace Christ as the woman's supreme authority.
She must never follow her husband's leadership into sin. But even where a Christian wife may have to stand with Christ against the sinful will of her husband. She can still have a spirit of submission. She can show by her attitude and behavior that she does not like resisting his will and that she longs for him to forsake his sin and lead in righteousness, so that her disposition to honor him as head. can again produce Harmony.
Well said.
Now look at verse 1 again. Be submissive to your own husbands. That even if some do not obey the word, stop right there. What word? What word is he talking about?
Some do not obey. This word. God's word. In other words, if that guy is an unbeliever, he doesn't believe in Scripture, he doesn't. Rest under God's authority.
He does not obey the word. He's an unbeliever. It continues to say: if some do not obey the word, they without a word. Stop right there. What word is that talking about?
Her word. Not the Bible's word. They don't obey the word.
So they can, without a word, he says, maybe won by the conduct of their wives.
Okay. This does not mean that a wife never has to say anything in terms of her testimony or the gospel. I used to hear this crazy saying years ago: preach the gospel. By all means, preach the gospel, and if necessary, use words.
Okay, it's always necessary to use words. And Peter isn't saying, don't speak, don't use your words. He already said in chapter 1, verse 23, that we are born again, not by incorruptible seed or by corruptible seed, but incorruptible seed, which is the word of God. God.
So When he writes this, To believing wives yoked to unbelieving husbands. He has in mind a wife who has already repeatedly shared the gospel with her husband. But the time comes when he has heard. it all. And he needs something stronger.
than just words. And that is a life. that he can see You know what it's like. It's human nature. When you hear the same message repeated over and over again, After a while you turn off to it.
Whether it's the Christmas story or the Easter story or Jesus died on a cross, we've heard it so many times. It just doesn't impact us the same.
Now, when you're young, when you're a kid, and your parents tell you the same speech over and over again, Do you remember what your reaction was? It was something like this. That was my reaction. My dad had like five or six of these little speeches he would pull out. I could always finish them for him.
I knew what he was gonna say. And he'd pull it out, and he'd say, a job worth doing is worth doing well.
Now, when I was a kid, and I. I'm listening to this. And I am so not interested in this. Although everything I remember looking back that he said was so right and so good. And so helpful.
But I just heard it enough that I'm turning off to it.
So that's the idea. She has shared the word with him. The time has come where he needs more than just her words. I guess you could say Nagging your husband will not convert him. Badgering your husband into the kingdom of God.
arguing with him. will not be helpful. Any atmosphere of high-pressured Christianity is always not effective. And especially in the home. Have you ever tried to think of it from the vantage point of an unbelieving husband?
Let me help you. An unbelieving husband married to a Christian wife already feels threatened. Already feels threatened. Here's why. My wife.
Is in love with somebody else. That I can't see. When we got married, we swore that nothing would come between us.
Now, something has come between us. She's in love with somebody. I don't even see.
Now, suddenly, I am demoted to number two. I'm not number one anymore. Jesus is number one. It's very offsetting.
So, the precarious balancing act of a wife trying to influence her husband. without alienating her husband. to keep the equilibrium in the relationship. goes on. And he's thinking she's always gone on Sundays.
She's got those weird Christian friends. She sings these songs I've never heard of before.
Now, let's make matters a little worse. Maybe he's married to the kind of Christian wife who's very, very zealous. and creative in her evangelism.
So when he comes home at night, she's got the television evangelist cranked up to 10 and just like infuriates him. But he needs to hear the truth. Or She decides to go into the garage at night and turn his car audio system to Christian radio. with super glue. Or stuff tracks under his pillow or in his lunch box.
Or said his Mobile device phone to John 316. Or perhaps when they have family meals, she wants to say, I'll pray. Let's bow our heads, and I wonder how many here would say yes to Jesus and raise their heads, and it's like turns it into an evangelistic event. And he's thinking, I didn't even know this woman. She's like.
A freak. Peter's Council. Be a good wife. Be a good wife. What William Barclay called The silent preaching of a lovely life.
Not a great description. The silent preaching of a lovely life. If you know church history at all, you've heard of Augustine or Augustine, however you would like to pronounce it, same dude. A third century bishop in northern Africa, his mother Monica was a believer in Jesus. His father, Patricius, was an unbeliever.
Augustine writes of the tension in the home and In one of his writings, as if it's a prayer to God, he writes what happened. She served her husband as her master. and did all she could to win him for you. speaking to him of you, and by her conduct by which you made her so beautiful. Finally, when her husband was at the end of his earthly span, She gained him.
For you. You get the drift? He was converted. By her lifestyle, that he observed over a course of time. The silent preaching of a lovely life.
So her actions speak louder than her words. Number two. Her attitude, is her prettiest feature. Verse 3, do not let your adornment... Be merely outward, arranging the hair, wearing gold, putting on fine apparel.
Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and a quiet spirit, which is very precious In the sight of God.
Now, this is not a legalistic ban on fashion or style. Listen, everybody appreciates beauty, okay? And you're not going to get away from it. It's a $17 billion per year industry. We all like beauty.
God created beauty. We admire beauty. And when a person makes themselves look better, There's not a problem with that. And do you know, it's not just a modern concept, it goes all the way back into antiquity. They've done archaeological.
Digs in Rome and they found that in 2000 years ago when this was written. Women dyed their hair sometimes weird bold colors. They also wore wigs. And you know what the most popular color of a wig was 2,000 years ago? A blonde wig.
Can you imagine that? In the Roman Empire 2,000 years ago, blondes had more fun. Yeah, I know you're thinking, well, those are just worldly Romans. No, they found these wigs in Christian catacombs.
So beauty and fashion was always a part of Every culture. And even in the Bible, the bride in the Song of Solomon. Complimented for the ornaments on her cheeks and the chains of gold around her neck and the beautiful sandals that she wore. Or in the New Testament, Jesus gave a parable about the prodigal son, and when the prodigal son returns, the father put a beautiful, his best robe on his son, and a ring. On his finger.
You're listening to Connect with Skip Heitzig Weekend Edition. Every day, the generosity of friends like you helps make clear, verse-by-verse Bible teaching available to people searching for truth, direction, and hope. And this month, we want to thank you with two powerful resources to help you follow God faithfully, even when life feels uncertain or challenging. When you give, you'll receive the Expound Nehemiah 7 Message CD series with digital download, along with Pastor Skip's booklet, Overcoming an Anxious Mind. Together, these resources show you how God rebuilds what's broken, strengthens you when you face opposition, and gives you peace, even in seasons of pressure and waiting.
We'll send both resources as our thanks when you give $50 or more to support Connect with Skiff Heitzig. Call 800-922-8888 or visit connectwithskip.com/slash offer.
Now, let's return to today's teaching.
So, fashion is important, and I'm saying that because. I think it's possible for an unkempt wife to actually discourage her husband. But I have seen and heard preachers go crazy with this verse: makeup is of the devil.
Well, really? I've heard of a Southern saying, I don't know where I heard it from. If the barn needs painting, paint it. I like that one. Listen, I've looked in the mirror lately.
No paint's gonna help. I'm kind of beyond the painting stage. But here's the deal. Paint the house, okay. The barn needs painting, paint it.
Paint the house, but then go inside the house. and furnish it with holiness. Deck it out with character. That's the point that Peter is making. Proverbs 31 says, charm is deceitful.
Beauty is passing. But a woman who fears the Lord, she will be. Praised. And you've discovered, right, that beauty and charm are deceitful. I mean, you go into a store and you see those magazines up by the counter.
Lose 30 pounds by Valentine's Day. Have younger-looking skin in 14 days? There's always that promise, that allure of beauty and betterness and miracles. And Peter's saying, hey, it's fine to look good, but get a spiritual makeover. Or in his words Incorruptible beauty.
Notice what it says: incorruptible beauty. Think about incorruptible because beauty is corruptible. Am I right? The fashion industry, the beauty industry depends on one thing. Ready?
Youth. You think.
So that last year's models are today's unemployed. That's why they have to keep reaching younger every single year. Incorruptible beauty is different. Incorruptible beauty doesn't rely on mascara or lip gloss or skinny jeans. Incorruptible beauty makes a woman look.
And B. More beautiful. As the years go on, see, you can be stunning on the outside. and ugly on the inside. This is an incorruptible beauty.
I want you to notice a phrase. Did you pick it up in verse 4? Hidden person of the heart. Look at that. Rather, let it be the hidden person of the heart.
Do you know that you have one of those? You have a hidden person of the heart. The hidden person of the heart is the real you. See, your reputation is what people perceive you to be. Your character, the real you, the hidden person of the heart.
That's who you are when nobody's looking. Y'all got one. The hidden person of the heart. What Peter is suggesting, what the Bible is mandating, Is that we as Christian believers, male or female, Get really concerned about the hidden person of the heart. What if we spent as much time on the hidden person of the heart as the outward person in the mirror?
So, this is how it works. You did this today, so did I. Get up in the morning, you shower, you shave. I did. You try on clothes, you do your hair.
You put on an outfit. Maybe if you have a little more, you're a little picky, you might try two or three outfits on. Tell that one works. Do you like that color? That's okay.
I like that. And you check yourself out. You go, okay. I look at it. And then you'll get ready to leave.
And you have one last look, you gotta go sideways. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. One final look.
Okay, I'm out the door.
Okay, now tally up all that time and showering and shaving and dressing. Do you spend? That much time and energy on the hidden person of The heart.
Okay, paint the house. but furnish it with character. The hidden person of the heart. What would those furnishings look like?
Well, there's two of them that are mentioned in the verse. Notice the first word, gentle. The incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. The word gentle is meek. You know what meek means?
It doesn't mean cowering. It doesn't mean high. I make Well, you might just be weird. The word meek means power. Under control.
Power under control. A horse that was bridled was called meek. It's got power, but it's under control. A gentle spirit is somebody whose spirit is under God's control. It's a wife who's under God's control, your mouth under God's control, your responses under God's control, your emotions under God's control.
That's gentle.
Next word is quiet. Simply means Tranquil. Or Undisturbed. Picture a glassy lake, the surface of a glassy lake early in the morning. The wife can set the tone inside the house for the whole family just by that undisturbed.
Tranquil trust. In God. Oh, there's bad stuff going on in the outside world, and there's maybe even problems in the home. But there's that tranquility of heart. Her life is furnished with that.
Incorruptible beauty. Her actions speak louder than her words. Her attitude is her prettiest feature. Here's the third, and we close. Her admiration is more biblical.
Then conventional. What I mean by that is that when she looks for role models and examples, You should look in the Bible. Not in People magazine. Look at verse 5. For in this manner, in former times, reaching backwards, The holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are if you do good, and are not afraid with any terror.
What Peter does is points back. Two, it says, former times, biblical women as examples. By the way, all Jewish women. Would always look back to the heroines of their faith. Like Ruth.
Of whom Boaz said, My whole town, the whole village knows that you are a virtuous woman. Or Proverbs 31, who can find a noble Woman, or a woman of noble character, a virtuous wife. And 22 verses describe her. And so we too, the audience that Peter writes to, should look back and their admiration of women should be more biblical than even contemporary. What Peter is saying is: look, look to gals like Sarah, not Cleopatra.
Not the attrition woman that everyone looked and modeled their life after because they were just so magnificent. but a biblical role model. That's true for all of us, by the way. For All of us, for all of life, we look to the scriptures for all our accused, right? That's what makes us Christians.
We're biblicists, we look at what the Bible says. 2 Timothy chapter 3. The Bible, the scripture, is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right. The reason we have one of these and carry it and read it and refer to it and study it line upon line is because other books.
We'll give you information. Other books may even give you inspiration, but this book will provide transformation. It'll change the way you think. and the way we live. And so it is in this relationship.
Peter would say to these women, Now, I just got to make a comment about what Sarah called her husband, because this sort of.
Well It confuses some women. It says Sarah called her husband what? Lord, so you have to go home and When your husband comes home every day. Hi, Lord. Welcome home.
to your kingdom. Or if he says, honey, let's go. Yes, Lord. I don't think so. That'd be kind of goofy.
Lord was the term of respect as well as deity. It's not capital L, it's small L. It's like, sir, I respect you, I honor you, I submit to you. In this earthly relationship, I may not agree with you. But I respond to you.
I think it's fascinating that Peter, of all the examples he could have chosen, Sarah and Abraham. Was their marriage perfect? Uh no. He made some pretty stupid boneheaded decisions and she had to go along with it. Like, honey, there's a famine in the land.
God isn't taking care of us. Let's go down to Egypt.
Okay, Lord. Or while they're in Egypt, honey, you're so beautiful. I don't want them to kill me, so let's say that you're my sister and I'm my wife, because then they'll take you in the harem, but they won't kill me. What kind of a husband is that? It was a husband that God gave to Sarah.
And Sarah responded to that as much as she could.
Now here's the bottom line and we close. This is a call today. to get a spiritual makeover. This is a call to focus on the hidden person of the heart. Can I just say, from looking at you right here from this vantage point, you've done a great job.
You look Marvelous. But I don't know what you're like on the inside in the hidden person of the heart.
So Choose good character, not just good cosmetics. Adorn yourself with gentleness, not just jewelry. Let your bling. Be goodness, not gold. You want to know why?
Because somebody else is watching you, and it's not just your husband, it's not just your coworkers, it's not just neighborhood or Bible study gals.
Somebody else mentioned in verse 4. which is very precious in the What does it say? Site God God's checking you out.
Well, how do I look, God? Outwardly, okay. Inwardly, eh. Spiritual Makeover. Irresistible beauty.
Under the control dominated by God. To be a witness to the unbelieving world. Yeah. A lot of pressure, isn't it? In this whole section, Peter has been saying: the world is watching you in society, the world is watching you in the workplace.
Your husband in the world, who's not a believer, is watching you, but What you need to know is God is watching you. I believe If you and I live under that awareness that God is always watching us, Most all our problems will go away. If we are just always cognizant that God is checking me out. And the microphone is always on. He always hears.
He always sees. Then them looking at me, not an issue. Because I'm living with integrity before him. Thanks for joining us today on Connect with Skip Heitzig. Before we go, remember, your generosity helps share God's word with people all around the world, offering truth, hope, and encouragement where it's needed most.
And this month we'd love to thank you for your gift of $50 or more by sending you the Expound Nehemiah 7 Message CD series with digital download. Along with Pastor Skip's booklet, Overcoming an Anxious Mind. These resources will help you see how God rebuilds what's broken in your life and gives you peace, even in the middle of pressure and uncertainty. Give today at connecttheskiff.com slash offer or call 800-922-1888. We'll see you next time for more verse-by-verse teaching of God's Word.
Here on Connect the Skiff-Heitzig Weekend Edition. Make a connection at the foot. Of the crossing. I cast your burning. Connect with Skip Heitzig is a presentation of connection communications, connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.
