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Fun fact, no. I have to make my own with McDonald's Sprite, and you guessed it, Texas Pete. I am genuinely horrified to hear that.
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Where's my Mountain Dew? You're listening to Clearview Today with Dr. Abaddon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. I'm Ryan Hill. I'm John Galantis. You can find our show online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. Or if you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-58-25028, or you can email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.
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Absolutely nothing less than five stars. We're going to leave a link right there in the show notes, that's the description box, so you can do just that. The description box. Well, I am perturbed today. Oh, I'm sorry.
I discovered something over the weekend that has really rocked me to my core. It's a rule. It's a rule that I didn't know existed. I'm 32 years old, and never have I heard this rule. But my parents knew about it. You're 32?
I'm 32, yeah. Ew. Yeah, I know.
I feel musty and dusty. My mother knew about it. David's mother knew about it, and David knew about it. Ryan knows about it. Adam knows about it. His parents and grandparents, everybody I asked, knew about this rule, and I never heard it once. But somehow, everyone knows it. Apparently, there was a phenomenon going around for decades, decades, that you weren't allowed to sing at the dinner table.
100%. You could not sing at the dinner table. And if you ask why, the answers you get were, I don't know, or it's rude. It's rude.
Yeah, that was growing up 100%. We couldn't sing at the dinner table. And it was bad, because absentmindedly, I would start just kind of like, and my mom was like, we don't sing at the dinner table. We don't sing at the dinner table, young man.
What does that mean? It's rude. It's rude. How is it rude? It's rude.
So if I were to be like, that shirt is not working on you, and those glasses make you look like a hipster wannabe. Why would you say that? That's rude. Right. Singing at the dinner table is also rude.
Let me rephrase. Not necessarily rude. It's impolite.
What is that? I don't understand. It's like you're burping at the dinner table. Like, you're sitting there with just belch in front of everybody. It's not polite.
You don't do it. I don't know why. I don't know who decided that somewhere in eons ago, but that was our rule growing up. I talked to your mom. And I also talked to you, because you weren't allowed to sing at the dinner table. And we called up your mom and she said, yeah, you can't do it. And I said, but why can't you do it? Explain it to me. She was like, it's just rude.
You can't do that. What was it like? I mean, did you get got onto for singing at the dinner table?
Yeah. There was no singing at the dinner table. Like you start singing a song. It's like, if you want to sing, you can get, you can get up, but you can't sing at the dinner table.
If you sing at the dinner table, you're going to grow horns. What? Yeah. Hold it. Now we didn't have a consequence.
Like there wasn't like a symptom that would arise. It was just, Hey, it's rude. Don't do that.
The lady who plays piano. Grow horns. Where? On your head? Yeah. Like you grow, like grow a horn, like right out of your head. But she knew, I mean, obviously maybe she thought that when she was a kid, but she knew that wasn't the case. Here's, here's what I, so there's a woman who plays piano on our worship team and I called her and she, cause, cause Adam, we were eating dinner with Adam. He said, no, there's no singing at the dinner table. And so I called his mom. She said, no, there's no singing at the dinner table. Cause my mom wouldn't allow it. So I called her mom.
I really did this. I called her mom and I said, what is this thing about no singing at the dinner table? She said, I'm going to learn you today.
Sing at the table, play in the bed. The devil's going to get you before you dead. And she just paused like that was the answer. And I like, that was the missing answer. And I said, that's cross stitch hanging up in my house. That's at our dinner table.
It's the table runner. I can't figure it out. I can't figure it out. So I was at a loss for words. I called my own mother. I said, why was this not a thing in our house? She was like, well, I always thought it was silly.
And I said, so you know about it. She was like, oh yeah, my daddy was very strict. No singing at the supper table. So that's interesting because it's not a rule at our dinner table. Yeah.
Like they could, the kids can sing if they want to. But I said, why, why was Papa so strict on it? You know, I never really knew. You just posed to eat your food. I said, what does that mean?
Mama, you just posed to eat. Didn't he say it was because she thought he was a military, but still what does that, what is the, the, the impetus behind that? Right. I don't know.
I get it. Like you're out of the military. You got a family now and your little daughter is singing at the dinner table, but you're like, no, no. Because it's somehow rude. Like if I'm mean to you, if I say ugly things, that's rude. But singing at the dinner table is spreading joy.
I don't know. It's like, you know, I love life, but it's rude. I don't get it. I need someone, cause I know there's a bunch of older Southern people listening to this show and I know y'all love the show, but you know that this was a rule for you. You got to make it make sense. Please write in.
Yeah, if you know the reason or if you have a justification, like David said, like if you sing at the table, you'll grow horns or sing at the table. What is it? Play in the bed. And she was like, see, there you go. There it is. There it is.
I was like, clear as crystal. I guess I can't argue cause it rhymes. I usually don't beg for people to write in. Please write in. I need to know what this is. I got it. This is a quest at this point.
Give us the justification behind the rule two five two five eight two five zero two eight. Or you can visit us online at clearviewtodayshow.com. We'll be right back. Hey Ryan. Hey John. Hey man. I'm having an awesome time doing the Clearview Today show with you.
Thanks man. I hope people are having an awesome time listening to it. Well, listen, I think our listeners would actually be interested to know that Clearview Today is not the only podcast we produce. Oh, do go on.
Oh, well go ahead and stop what you're doing right now. Mosey on over to your podcast app and subscribe to Sermons by Abaddon Shah, PhD. As many of you know, Dr. Shah is our lead pastor here at Clearview Church and every single week he preaches expository messages that challenge and inspire us to live godly lives. One of our core values at Clearview Church is that we're a Bible believing church, which means that every single sermon is coming directly from the text. And it's great because whether you're driving, cleaning the house, working out, whatever you're doing, you're listening and receiving timeless biblical truth. And God works through every sermon differently, which means you're always going to get something new. Sometimes it'll be conviction. Sometimes it'll be encouragement.
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Love it. John, you ready to hop back in? Let's do it. Welcome back to Clear View Today with Dr. Abaddon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearViewTodayShow.com.
If you have any questions or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-582-5028. That's right. We're here once again, the Clear View Today studio with Dr. Abaddon Shah, who's a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, along with drum roll, please. You know her. You love her.
You can't live without her. It's Permiguess Nicole Shah. Very glad to have you back on the show. Welcome back Nicole.
Thank you. Back on the show once again. I got to ask both of you two guys, lightning round, because this has really turned my brain inside out. I can't find peace.
He's messed up. I can't find peace. Singing at the supper table. Yes or no?
Dr. Shah. Is there a problem with that? Singing at the supper table. Yes or no? You're not supposed to be. What is that mean?
Must be an American thing. What does that mean? Because I don't remember.
We were going back and forth about this. Like, where did this originate? And why does everybody know about it? But I've never heard of it up until two or three days ago. This is why I think... No, this is just my opinion.
Okay, so it could be wrong. I kind of think it came from when you used to have like etiquette classes at school. Like cotillion. Well, I mean, I never went to a cotillion, but we always had etiquette, you know, and my mom was really huge on, you know, no elbows on the table. None of this right here. You ask before you get up. Bad moves.
You know, all of that stuff. So I tend to think probably that came from like etiquette. But why? Why should it be?
That's what I'm wondering. This is kind of annoying at the table. I get it. You know, some of them are grounded in some logic, but singing at the table. Maybe it's because your mouth is open. You cannot sing like food is coming out. Could you sing at the table as a kid?
No. Could your kids sing at the table when they were kids? You didn't care, right?
We didn't. No singing at the table? That was never even a conversation.
I got in trouble for it often at the table because I would start singing without thinking about it. It wasn't that they weren't allowed to. It just wasn't even a thing.
That's what I was saying. Because I didn't grow up like that. Number one, were there any silly rules that you didn't understand? Or were there any dinner table specific rules? Because that's wild to me. No singing at the table.
Yeah, that's wild to me too. And I get it because it was, you know, when you're singing, your mouth is open and if you have food in your mouth, food is falling out. And nobody wants to see your mouth open. I still know people who chew with their mouth open. Oh, yeah.
That was one of the big rules. Chew with your mouth closed. Maybe it's because when kids sing, they're real obnoxious. Like when my kids sing, they don't actually sing. They're like, maybe that was what it is.
Maybe the dinner table is where we need some peace and quiet. Flash forward of Gavin right there. Just your profile there. I was like, that's Gavin. That's holding. Yeah. What were some of the rules growing up that looking back on it today, you were like, why was that a rule? Oh boy.
Or even at the time, it just didn't make no sense to you. Yeah. One of them, of course, like the taking, it's not a rule, so I can't use that one. But one of the ones that, cause I was gonna talk about the onion during the summertime, but like if you walk in the house and you, you know, take off your slippers or shoes, you cannot have one of them turned over. You have to make sure they're to be right side up.
Right side up. Really? Yeah. Was that a current thing or was that just in y'all's house? It's it happens in other places. Yeah.
You have your shoes have to be right side up. What's the reason? Never was given the reason.
Just because this is what we need. I think, cause I've thought about it over the years, even as a kid, I used to think it's like, why is that? Maybe it's because you go outside and there's mud or whatever and you, you know, your slippers get some of that and then you bring it in the house and it's sitting there and everybody's looking at it. So maybe that's why I turn it over.
We don't want to see that. Did critters, if it was right side up, could critters get in like scorpions and stuff and spiders getting your shoes? Well, growing up, every time we would put our feet inside our shoes, not slippers didn't matter, of course.
We had to like beat them and then turn them over and beat them again. Did anything ever come out? Never. I've seen one or two spiders come out once in a while, but it was a very rare, but I've been bit by a spider before so I can definitely understand.
I mean, it was bad. Do you still beat your shoes when you put them on? I still do the ones that are in the sunroom. That or if you haven't worn them in a while.
I'd definitely do that. I have shoe trees in most of my good shoes. For those of you who do not know, shoe trees are made out of wood and it kind of goes and slips in and this kind of, you know, it's like, it has the tension on it.
So once it goes in, it keeps the cover, the leather really strong and good. That's nice. So yeah.
That's awesome. Did y'all have, I don't know if y'all had this, this was one of the strange rules that we had. It has nothing to do with the supper table, but during a storm, if a storm come up, you have to unplug everything, like turn all the lights off, which I get, but then the play has to stop. You have to sit down on a couch and be quiet. That didn't happen. Never happened with y'all?
No. If it was a storm and if it was, you know, not like right on top of us, my dad would take us out on the front porch and we would sit in the chairs and he would say, let's watch God's mighty power as a storm. Meemaw was the opposite. Meemaw was like, you have to sit down and be quiet. I'm like, well, I got to be quiet because the Lord is speaking.
How are you going to talk if the Lord's speaking? This is your dad's mom. My mother's mom. Yeah, she was, my granny, I don't know what her, she, I didn't really ever stay over there that much. She, I'm sure she had some weird rules too, but definitely that was the one rule that Meemaw had that I always found weird. She was like, well, cause you're sitting here talking and the Lord's trying to speak.
So how are you talking when the Lord's speaking? I'm like, yeah, I would think of it, yeah. It's hard to argue. You had to sit in a dark, but I mean, think about a four or five year old sitting in a dark room during the storm, just have to be quiet until the storm's over. That was me. That was torturous. I bet.
If you're not making any noise, then you hear all the noise that it's making and that's going to be scary to afford for a true child. We had to sit down and be quiet. Yeah. The verse of the day today is coming to us from Matthew chapter 10, verse 16. Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. One of my favorites. You go ahead. No, it is what exactly you were about to say.
Yeah. I think it's one of my favorite verses because you don't, you don't hear that. Harmless as doves. A lot of us got that down, but be wise as serpents. You know, we, we tend to think that the serpent is evil.
I don't want to be anything like it, but you know, Jesus said it, you know, Jesus didn't pick that animal like, Oh shoot, I probably should have picked a better animal. You know, he, he said what he said and he meant it, you know, be as cunning and not cunning, but be as, as wise and as discerning as the world, but also be as harmless as doves. Yeah. Yeah. I, one of my favorites passages in the Bible and I've often said that to our team, you know, be wise as serpents means don't be foolish.
There isn't, there are no points for walking around, you know, do to do to do, you know, and there's things happening around you or people are doing dumb stuff. There are people who are malicious. There are people in church who will do things that are outright wrong, right? Don't be naive. Yeah.
Your naivety is not innocence. Yeah. That's that's somebody else is going to have to pay for your, I didn't know. Yeah. Okay.
You need to get with it. True. But harmless as doves, which means we don't attack people. We don't then say, Oh, you're going to do that. Watch this.
I'm going to one up you and I'll do this. And no, no, we are harmless. Great point. I find myself now, this is, this might just be me in it sometimes. And it could happen to other people when something happens, you know, there's a conversation. Sometimes I get it. Sometimes something goes off in my head and I'm like, Hmm. Other times it takes for me to go home and you kind of replay the conversation in your mind or the whatever happened. And then you're like, Oh, so I felt, I don't know.
Is it too late then to really, I do that sometimes too. And then I get in there and maybe you can speak on this, Dr. Shaw. Cause I sometimes will replay a conversation in my head and I'm like, Oh, that's what they meant. But then I don't know.
Did God just show me the truth or did I just create something that they didn't actually mean? Yeah. You can overthink stuff, but most of the times, most of the times your first instinct is right. Most of the time. I'm not saying every time. Yeah.
Yeah. That's a good point. Most of the time your first instinct is right. What about the other times? Sometimes we tend to see people the way we see ourselves.
If our view of life and people is, and, and, and sin is distorted, we're going to think everybody's out to do that. Right. Yeah. Okay.
So that there is a place for that, but most of the time your first instinct is right. Yeah. You used to this before too, Dr. Shaw, but that I feel like the, uh, our wives are very good at that. Like they had that, that discernment that kind of perks up often faster than we as men do. It just kind of speaks to that, you know, God brings a husband and a wife together for a reason because together they make a great team. Yeah. How do you, how do you bring this into you? Cause we want to talk about marriage today on, in light of our marriage conference that we just had here at Clearview church.
Um, you know, how do you, how do you do that? How do you bring wisdom and harmlessness into your marriage? Yeah.
Oof. You go ahead and speak to that. How do we pick, bring wisdom and what again? Like, so how do you be like, if I'm saying, Hey, in all things in my marriage, especially I'm going to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves, you know, how do, how did those two play with each other? Understanding people, personalities is very important in a marriage. Knowing how to handle situations, handle people, handle bad behavior is it's a, it's, it's very important. Being naive or being clueless is not, not a commendable quality.
Yeah. And I think a lot of, a lot of men take that on. Like men almost want to, not, not all men of course, but just generally speaking, the pattern seems to be that a lot of husbands want to be clueless so that there's no responsibility. You know, the more hands off I am, the less I actually have to put into this marriage.
I can see that, but I mean then what kind of marriage are you going to have if you have a hand, if you have a hands off approach? I mean that, that doesn't seem, that seems like you're shooting yourself in the foot. Right. Yeah.
In the longterm a hundred percent. I think it's one of the things that I love so much about the, you know, the marriage workshop we just did, Art of Marriage by Family Life. It's a wonderful resource. It's a great opportunity for couples to draw closer to one another.
It's a dedicated time, a couple hours on a Saturday morning and it's a chance for them to really dig into what the Bible says about marriage. I liked, I liked the title too, that it's an art, you know what I mean? It's not a science.
It's not a formula. It's an art, but they compare it. I think they did it in their old series.
They did a newer series now where they kind of updated it. But the, the imagery is the same where it's a dance. You know what I mean? It's got this imagery of marriage is a dance.
Your relationship is a dance. And I like it because I think a lot of times some of the miscommunication, maybe you guys can speak on this too, where the miscommunication is stop talking and let me talk. Let me get you to understand where I'm coming from. And it's like, yes, I hear you. But it's like, no buts.
I need men and women, husbands and wives. It's like, just stop talking and understand what I'm saying. And it's like, that's, they can do that. But then when there's no reciprocation, when there's no, that's not a dance, that's just, that's just a lesson. And nobody wants to learn a lesson in their marriage. Well, I mean, you can speak to this, John, as well as Abra and I can, taking dance lessons. I remember there were times that when we were in, we did, we did dance lessons for our youngest daughter's wedding. And then eight months later our oldest daughter got married. But even prior to that, we did some lessons. Well, so in between, in between those two weddings, we did our own just for fun.
Just for fun. And I'm kind of telling on us a little bit, but there would be times when we would have a little tiff or just be kind of like not happy with each other. And then he would look at the dance instructor and he'd go, wow, dance lessons are a lot like marriage. And I'd be like, cause he, cause, and two, I really, I literally had to close my eyes at times during those dance lessons because I would, I would lead, I would try to lead and he could feel me and I could feel him. And so for me to just stop leading and just follow the feel of where he's going and that my, my feet would go, my body would go. I just had to shut my eyes. Isn't it crazy how, I mean, this is a response to that, but isn't it crazy how, I don't know what it is about like a fun activity, but it's, it's almost an unwritten guarantee that if you plan a fun activity with your spouse, you're going to fight on the way there.
We're going to argue beforehand, yo. I don't know what it is. I think we took, we took, man, we did a, we did a six or eight week course and then we did a 15 week course. Of dancing? Of dancing, yeah. You did it twice?
We did, yeah, we did the, the, the beginner one and then the bronze one. What is the, what's 15 plus eight? 27. We probably argued 27 times every single time on the way up there. I don't know what it is about doing fun activities with your spouse, but you're going to fight on the way there.
Well it's because, it's, well, I do have to say this. I remember going to the, that conference, the We Can Do Remember conference, actually it was done by Family Life who is doing the Art of Marriage as well. That sort of led us to the Art of Marriage, the previous edition. And now it is this one here. This is the newer edition of the Art of Marriage just came out, I think two years ago.
I can tell you very quickly. I believe so. But we went to a conference that they did. We went to a conference that they did and we were in Durham at a nice hotel and there was a skit that was done and boy, it, it was really simple, but it spoke volumes where it was a husband and wife and they're having this conversation and then one person says something that kind of ticks the other one off and then all of a sudden you see a third person in the room and that third person is Satan. And as the couple is, he's handing them ammunition.
Each one of them, he's handing them, and when you realize, wait a minute, there's a third person in the room. And you can, you can even feel yourself too. Like when someone does something, like your spouse does something that you don't like, you can feel yourself take that ammunition, clip it on. Cause I might need this later.
I'm not going to bring it up right now, but I might need this later. I felt myself do it. It's powerful. I think, I think this, they talk about this and I'm not sure about this iteration of Art of Marriage, but in the previous, in the previous videos, and you've talked about this in your sermons as well, Dr. Shaw, you have an enemy in your marriage and it is not your spouse. There is an enemy. Your enemy is not your spouse.
Right. Your spouse is not your enemy. I mean, that was, that's profound and it's held me tremendously and you know, Elizabeth and I are frustrated with one another or we have different viewpoints about how to approach a situation. I look at her and I remind myself, this is, this is the woman that I love. This is my wife. This is not my enemy.
She's not, she's not against me and I don't need to be against her. I think, I think a lot of the listeners like listening to you guys talk about your marriage because there's two sides of it. There's the human side of it, which is like, Hey, these, you know, this pastor and his wife are really just like me. They, they argue, they, they, but at the end of the day, they're human beings. And then there's the holy side where God is truly at the center of your marriage. So all those other things, they kind of pale in comparison.
You know what I mean? You know, when God is at the center, you know that no matter what happens, you're still moving towards a holy marriage. Well, I will say that, you know, and a lot of people can say this, I believe a lot of people and every married couple that's Christian should say this, that by the grace of God, we are still married. Because it's, it's true. I mean, you have, you put two people who have two different opinions, two different ways of doing things. And maybe even two different ideas of how to go about doing whatever it is that you're going to do. And you put them under the same roof and you expect them to live happily ever after.
It's not going to happen. You know, you, you, the marriage is learning how to compromise, learning how to maybe when you realize, you know what, this is not a hill to die on, to just say, okay, you know, let's just, let's do it your way. Or you know, however, however it works out in that, that particular situation.
But you, by the grace of God, I would, I mean, I would even say even non-Christian couples, by the grace of God, you're still married, but definitely for Christian couples, because you cannot, and on top of that, even though you're a Christian, you're still a sinful human being. Right, right. Two different sin natures butting up against one another. Hurt is a very powerful place of where people don't want to work it out because of hurt.
Yeah. And in those situations, when you've been hurt, hurt whether it was trust issue or hurt because of what you said to me or what someone said to me, you know, that, that's where I think in the Western culture, most people, I would say, I mean, I would go 99% of the people are dealing with hurt. Hurt as a child, hurt because their parents, one of them walked out on them or not even walked out, but two people couldn't get along and they decided to say, you know what, I'm just going to step out and do my own thing.
And then we'll work this out for this child. Hurt, hurt, of course, lack of trust, hurt because someone's ugliness, someone's bad habit, someone's anger, someone's neglect, someone putting other things in priority over the family. That hurt is a root cause of 99% of the problem.
That's a great point. And don't think, and don't think that what you experienced as a child, like your home life, don't think that you leave that behind when you get married. You bring it right into your marriage. You don't really get over it as well as you think you do. And unless you take that hurt and actively give it to God and say, God, this person has hurt me or this situation has hurt me, I'm giving it to God. Secular counselors, I'm sick of them. I'm sick of it. Even some Christian counselors, I'm tired of them because they're finding ways to deal with hurt that are not only unbiblical, but they don't work.
They do not work. So when hurt happens and you're acting and behaving from a place of hurt, the only solution you have is to give that hurt to God. You have to pray and say, God, this is a painful place. And it may not even be with that marriage partner. It may have nothing to do with your spouse. It may have something to do with years ago, or it may have something to do with the spouse.
It may have something to do with the spouse family. It may have something to do with, you know, some of the hurt. But unless you give it to God and say, God, help, help heal my heart or help me, even though I don't feel like I want to be healed.
So some people who will say that, I don't care. I like this. I like this.
I like to take my vengeance out because of what you did to me or what this person did to me. I'm going to stay on this and I'm going to fight for this. I don't want it. Fight against yourself to stay there.
Give that hurt to God and tell God, tell God, God, I need help and I don't want it. I don't want it, but I need it. So I'm going to ask you to intervene.
That's all you have to do. I'm going to ask you to intervene in this situation, intervene in my life. And God will answer. It may be immediate.
It may be over time. God may send someone. God may change your heart. God may change the other person's heart. God may change your hearts together. God may change the circumstances. And that really helps when there's hurt because maybe that person doesn't want to do it, but they say, okay, I'm going to do this every single day. And you know what? In a few weeks, their heart follows.
Great point. So good. So helpful for us. Dr. Shaw, thank you for today. Nicole, thank you for being on the show today. Always a pleasure to have you on the show.
If you guys are looking for a great resource for your churches to dive into this concept of marriage, Art of Marriage by Family Life is a wonderful resource. It's a pretty great conference to put on because it's video-led, so you need somebody to facilitate, but the videos do the heavy lifting. So I encourage you to check that out. If you enjoyed today's episode, write in and let us know at 252-582-5028. Or you can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. Don't forget, you can partner with us financially on that same website. Every gift that you give goes not only to building up this radio show, but countless other ministries for the gospel of Jesus.
Don, you got anything you want to plug as we close today? Our debut album, Heaven Here and Now, is still available right now on iTunes, Spotify, Rhapsody, pretty much anywhere. Kazaa, LimeWire. Kazaa, LimeWire, FrostWire. The dude in the back alley behind your house probably has a couple copies.
He's a fantasy in a brown paper bag. Listen, it's still available. Go ahead and make sure you pick up your copy. I'm on it. Ryan's on it. Nicole's on it. Dr. Shaw's one of our lead songwriters on it. So we're all here. We're all... David's on it. David's on it. Yep.
Nicholas, he wasn't on it, but he came to the studio one time, I think. So really, really great album. It's available right now. Also, Dr. Shaw and Nicole's book, 30 Days of Praying for America, Daily Devotions to Heal Our Nation, available right now on Amazon. Pick up your copy today. That's right. And should you guys tune in tomorrow, lots of great content coming your way. We love you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on Clearly Today.
