Thursday, November 9th. | The Importance of Father

Hello, everyone. Today is Thursday, November the 9th. I'm Ryan Hill.

I'm John Galantis. You're listening to Clearview Today with Dr. Abbadon Shah, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearviewTodayShow.com. If you have any questions for Dr. Shah or suggestions for new topics, send us a text to 252-58-25028, or you can email us at contact at ClearviewTodayShow.com.

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We're going to leave a link in the description so you can do just that. The verse of the day today comes from Psalm 84, verse 11. For the Lord God is a sun and shield. The Lord will give grace and glory. No good thing will he withhold from those who walk uprightly. It's just poetry all the time.

I love the descriptive language of the Bible. He's a sun and a shield. He's this bright, ethereal light, and yet he also is a protector.

He's a shield. He's never going to withhold anything from you that you need in life. He will withhold the things that I want that are actually harmful for me, but the good things, the grace and the glory and the good things that I need in this life, if I'm following him, and you even, if you're following him, if you're obeying him, if you're walking in his way, he's not going to withhold it from you. Yeah, that's such a good distinction, because a lot of times we can look at things that we don't have in our lives and be like, oh, God is keeping this from me. God is withholding this from me. Maybe God isn't good, or maybe God doesn't love me. No, God loves you so much that he's willing to keep the things from you, even the things that you ask for that are not for your good, that are not for your benefit. As a loving father, you're not going to let your kids run around with a pair of scissors, even if they want to, because you know that that's not good for them.

That's dangerous for them. God's going to keep those things from us, but every good thing that we need, he's going to give us. It's crazy how Christians will completely agree that God is all-knowing. He knows all things, and that we don't know all things, and yet still struggle to trust him. I mean, I get it.

It's that human knee-jerk gut reaction, but it's so crazy that I truly believe that God knows every single detail of what's best in my life, and yet when he chooses something that is not in my understanding, I'm like, God, why? I don't get it. Why? I don't know if you got that one right, God. I don't know if you made the right call.

Really? Okay. So we started a new segment on the show called Advice No One Needed, and I've got a little bit of advice for our listeners, because I think this is going to really impact y'all's lives in a great way. I think it's going to spark joy, and it's something that once you spark joy in your life, you want to get rid of all things that don't spark joy, and here's how you spark joy, is that you subscribe to Reese Witherspoon's Book Club. It's a monthly book club, and you basically, she doesn't give you the books. You don't pay for it.

She just tells you what books to read. Hold on. Hold on a second. You said subscribe. Is this a monetary thing? You can send Reese a check. You can send Reese a check.

You don't get anything, but you can send Reese a check. I don't think you subscribe to it in the, oh, wait, wait. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I'm on the website right now. New holiday boxes. Treat yourself. Book it to our limited edition holiday boxes filled with our current obsessions, and it's, so there's some- So you are buying the book. There's a box. There's like a- Like a bundle.

Yeah. It's like a bundle. Like you get a book bag. You get like a bag. I mean, I guess. You get the book of the month. Yeah, okay.

You get some Boom Chicka Pop white cheddar popcorn, and it looks like some skincare. Reese is doing well for herself. Okay. John, let me ask you this, because I love books.

I love reading as much as the next person. Why should I, in my thirties, a man, why should I subscribe to Reese Witherspoon's book club that doesn't really seem like it's hitting the right demographic? So Reese Witherspoon, as we all know, is a cultural icon. She played Rachel's sister in Friends, and after that, I don't know what she did. That's what I remember her from. Ellie is a huge fan of Reese Witherspoon. I think she was in like Sweet Home Alabama or something.

Yeah, Sweet Home Alabama. She's been in a couple of other things. Lots of other things. She founded the Reese Witherspoon book club, and every month she chooses a book, and the catch is there's a woman at the center of the story. Typically, the woman has some father issues, and she's pulled into some small town scandal or some mystery, and she has a literally flawless boyfriend slash fiance.

I was going to ask about a love interest. They are flawless. They're on a farm, huge forearms. They're emotionally intelligent.

They always put the woman first, and for some reason she always falls out of love with them by the end or has to rescue them. It's women's fiction, and I'm telling you right now, it's the greatest thing that you can ever read. They're beach books. They're books that women go to the beach and buy, and they are so addictive.

It's always some mystery or some southern scandal or some uncovered murder that they're trying to get to the bottom of or some affair that led to a murder. It's great, man, and Reese knows how to pick them too. Can I tell you this? I've heard you talk about this before. You've said this for a while now, even before saying it on the show, and I honestly, genuinely, in my heart of hearts, when you said the Reese Witherspoon book club, I thought you were kidding. No. I thought, not that you were reading these books, but I thought you made up the Reese Witherspoon book club.

No. I didn't think it was a real thing. It's called Reese's Book Club, and you'll see them. They're in Target.

They're in Walmart. They're in Barnes & Noble. They've got a little sticker that says Reese's Book Club, and it's literally just books that she likes.

The authors are not working for her in any way. It's like Oprah's book club. People tell Oprah's book club real seriously. It was just books that Reese Witherspoon likes, and every month there's a new one, and then you go. It's that little sticker of authenticity like, hey, I'm in Reese's book club. That means Reese Witherspoon liked my book, and my sales are about to go way up.

You know what I think we should do? What's that? I think we should have Dr. Shaw's book club. Okay. As a segment on the show.

Hey, that would be cool. As a segment on the show, this is the weekly recommendation from Dr. Shaw, or the monthly recommendation from Dr. Shaw. What are you reading? What's a good help in your Christian devotional?

What's a good way to understand prayer on a deeper level? Maybe one day we'll be at Reese's level. Maybe. Maybe we'll surpass. Maybe Reese will subscribe to our book club.

If grown men... That would be really sick. If grown men like me can appreciate and respect Reese Witherspoon's favorite novels, then people will be able to respect what Dr. Shaw thinks, especially in the field of New Testament textual criticism. I actually bought one. David was with me last night at Walmart, and I actually bought one. He didn't have the sticker on it. I was surprised by that.

I was surprised by that. I think we should pitch it. We'll see where that goes.

Let's do it. Stay tuned. We might have an announcement for a new segment coming up on the show, Dr. Shaw's book club. Let us know what your favorite reading is.

What do you like to read, either to enrich your mind, to learn, or just to kind of unplug, like to relax and just fall into a good story? Let us know what it is, 252-582-5028, or you can visit us online at cleaviewtodayshow.com. We'll be back after this. Hey, everyone.

My name's Elli. And I'm David. We want to take a minute and let you know how we can actually serve you as you're listening to Clearview today. The Bible paints an extraordinary picture of who we are as a church body. The mission of Clearview Church is to lead all people into a life-changing, ever-growing relationship with Jesus Christ. A huge part of leading people is praying for them. A big reason that Christians have unanswered prayers in their life is because they're not praying.

You know, 1 John 5 15 says, and if we know that he hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we have asked of him. If you're listening to the Clearview Today show, we want to know how we can pray for you as well. There's a number of ways that you can get in touch with us at Clearview and share your prayer requests. But the best way is by texting us at 252-582-5028. You can also send us an email at prayer at clearviewbc.org.

Or you can download the Clearview app on iTunes or Google Play. You know, on that app, there's a dedicated prayer wall that helps us to get to know what's going on in your life, how we can pray for you, and how we can take any necessary steps to get you moving in the right direction. Thanks for listening.

Now let's get back to the show. Welcome back to Clear View Today with Dr. Abbadon Shaw, the daily show that engages mind and heart for the gospel of Jesus Christ. You can visit us online at ClearViewTodayShow.com. If you have any questions or suggestions for new topics, send us a text at 252-582-5028.

That's right. We're here once again in the Clear View Today studio with Dr. Abbadon Shaw, who is a PhD in New Testament textual criticism, professor at Carolina University, author, full-time pastor, and the host of today's show. I do want to specify that he's an author. Dr. Shaw, Ryan had a great idea in the intro.

I want to dream about you. Once a month, the Abbadon Shaw Book Club. See, we have the Reese Witherspoon Book Club, and we love that. Every single one of us is a big fan of Reese.

We love our girl, Reese. The books at Reese Witherspoon's Book Club are, they're fiction, and they're designed to kind of like, just kind of unwind and relax. But I thought, what if we benefit from all of your research and all of your study. That'll wind you up. Exactly. That we can, you know, go deeper in our faith or learn more about prayer or textual criticism or whatever, whatever it is that you're reading that you enjoy, American history.

Some recommended readings from Dr. Shaw. I love it. Maybe a little bit later in November, we can bust it out. But every month we devote one episode to the Abbadon Shaw Book Club. It's just your book, your pick of the month. I would love that.

That'd be fun. I have some great, great books that I have read through the years. Books that I've heard about that are on my reading list and books that we're writing. So there's a lot to pick from. I mean, lot to pick from. And all the time I'm reading at least two to three books, theological books, critical books. And I have those here as well, but I have some other ones there.

If you add all of them up, I would send you six to 7,000 books. Wow. Yeah. Incredible.

Easily. That'll be good content. How many, how many times can we divide that by, by like 12 months of 7,000 divided by 12?

We'll have enough for like what, 30 years worth of content. Many, many. Well, we talked about one of your favorite books yesterday.

Yes. Life with Father by Clarence Day. And I really, I hope some will take me up on it and actually read that book or watch the show. We'll read the book first because it sparks in us that place in our, our divinely built makeup, the way God has made us, that probably in 99.999% of people will never be ignited. That part of life they will never understand.

They don't understand many of the things in life, but that is that one part that is so missing and is there. And it was sparked in me and it was sparked in our, in our nation, you know, about a hundred years ago and it was a hit, hit enough to be the longest running non-musical Broadway show. It still holds that title today.

Still holds that title. It was also made into a sitcom. And then I would say, I would say many of our family sitcoms are just a poor knockoff of Life with Father. Like a cheap parody almost.

Very cheap parody. We talked about that a little bit yesterday about how in today's society and in popular media, dads specifically are portrayed as either the butt of a joke, like they're just bumbling fools or they're these horrible domineering, like authoritarian, you don't even want to be around them. But Life with Father, I think captures something that, you know, dad has his quirks and he's not perfect, but we love him and he is still an integral part, the core of this family. Can I tell you a story about like what happened last night?

I already told Dr. Shaub when we were getting coffee earlier. We were talked about that yesterday where it was this father character in Life with Father who can fly off the handle or get upset, but he learns by the end. He comes back and he brings the family back up, but it's that he's setting the tone for what happens in the family. So last night, David and I went to work out and I got home. It was like late and Ellie had the boys up and she had made cookies and instantly I was annoyed. I was like, why are the boys still up? So I was like, whatever. I'm going to go just change clothes.

In that time, I heard Ellie tell Gavin to be still and sit still about five times. So I was like, alright, he's just going to bed. So I put him in the bed. I changed his pull up and I put him in the bed.

We said our prayers. Now I lay me down to sleep, walk out. Mommy walks in to like put some laundry away and he starts crying and he says, daddy didn't change me. Daddy didn't change me. So I'm not proud to admit it, but I flew off the handle. I got really upset and I went in there and I was way more intense than I should have been. But I was like, you do not tell mommy lies.

You never ever tell mommy lies. I went and took a shower and the whole time I was thinking about the episode we reported and I was like, you know what? I got to go in there and apologize to my son and I made it right. But it was funny because even that 30 minute conversation impacted the way I handled a parenting moment. That conversation that you, that the three of us had of this play that I'd never heard of in my life changed a critical interaction in my family.

And it was a really great way to see this show changing even my life. And if you read the book, you will get it that it's not that he is the domineering, my way or the highway, in your face, shouting, getting his way. And then when the dust settles, dad is on his throne and everybody else is sort of seated by his feet.

It's not like that. To the contrary, you see him as a man with weaknesses. You see him as very human. At the end of that, you're not walking away going, golly, I'll never be like you. It's actually just like, I like this guy.

He is trying to do what is right and he is a good guy. That's what you walk away from that book. Like even his wife, the story you read, Ryan, about how the cook died and I think the wife said that or he said that, it's like she'll be in a special part in heaven for all that she did for us. And dad, of course, in his way, is like, yes, I'll be right there with her. And mom says, I don't know, honey, you may not be right there with her. She's going to have a special place to serve. You might be somewhere else.

You might be in general admission. Yeah, not the special part. And he's like, ah, you, whatever. So she's not scared of him. She's not this docile, oh, whatever. I have to do what this brute of a man tells me. No, to the contrary, she's like telling him off.

And he's like, you know, don't you want to love this guy? I mean, he's a great guy. Would you say there's a great need in America today for good godly fathers?

Absolutely, absolutely. And that segment yesterday was just a opener to help you understand that that idea of a father who is authoritative at the same time, very human, you can touch and feel and know that he has his struggles too. And he also needs Jesus. That idea comes from scripture. I mean, for Paul to tell fathers, all right, this is not some brutish world where the man of the house, once he says that's done, he's telling the fathers, hey, don't make your children angry. Don't provoke them to wrath, but raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I mean, would you dare talk to somebody who is like a dictator in that way? Don't make your people mad. No. So the idea that we get from Clarence Day's life with father is, I believe, very much hand in hand with the understanding of the father from the Old and the New Testament.

Wow, that's awesome. God's word has so much to speak to, especially in regards to fathers. And I feel like, I mean, Dr. Shaw, Jon, you guys have already said it on the episode, but we are in desperate need of a recasting of the image of a father in American society because it's just, it's lost or it's ignored or it's intentionally removed. There's this, in this push toward gender equality and sameness across the board, the role of a dad is downplayed. I mean, it's almost just insignificant to the point where maybe there's a dad in your life, maybe there's not and it doesn't really matter. Or he is looked upon as being the nemesis to a good life.

He is the problem. If he wasn't there, if he did not, he just needs to be a docile man, a sperm donor. That's all we need him for. And then step to the side. And if we ever need you, it's usually just punch, use you as a punching bag.

That's what we need you for. You know, there's a series that you went through in the book of Proverbs where Solomon is telling his son to always obey the words of his father and of his mother, but that's assuming that the father is walking with God. And so a lot of times what people will say is, well, I don't have that luxury of having a father who is godly or who is a good example. And I think they use that almost as an excuse to continue with the status quo or to perpetuate that bad father narrative.

Yeah. And what you're referring to is Proverbs chapter 1, starting in verse 8. This is Solomon speaking to his son. So I believe the son would have been Rehoboam.

And you can almost see the three generations here. You have King David, who was not a very good father. He did not focus on that. And, you know, instead of beating him down and saying, what a horrible man, he was a terrible father.

Just remember, he did not get a chance to be a good father. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, he grew up in a home where his own father did not value him. Right? Here are my sons. Which one do you want to be the king? Oh, I have one more. He's out in the fields. You really want him? Yeah. You really? These are my real sons. Surely you couldn't admit him.

Yeah. You're not him. So he had poor example. At the same time, he spent half his life running from King Saul.

So being a good father sort of didn't happen for David. But you can see those three generations. But let me read it quick. Proverbs 1 verse 8. My son, hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother, for they will be a graceful ornament on your head and chains about your neck.

My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood. Let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause. Let us swallow them alive like sheol and hold like those who go down to the pit. We shall find all kinds of precious possessions. We shall fill our houses with spoil. Cast in your lot among us.

Let us all have one purse. My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your foot from their path. Yeah. He's powerful advice, isn't it? Oh yeah. He's really laying it out. What, what life is going to be like in the temptations and the snares that are waiting for every young man?

Yeah. Growing up, I used to always wonder why did I, did I not do some of the things I wanted to do? Like be very, uh, like I got into fights and many of them were silly, but did. I was like, I wish I had gone to that one.

I don't know how I could not make it to that one or this one. I did not get the right people with, I mean, whatever. And now looking back, it was God protecting me.

Why not not have more girlfriends or this and that and the other? God protecting me. Sometimes, you know, people think they have missed out on life because it did not do those crazy things. Yeah. Could it be that God protected you?

Could it be that what, what Solomon is telling his son, his son, all these things are available to you. You can go and shed innocent blood. You can, you can beat up people. You can live a wanton life. You can just sow your wild oats. But son, don't do that.

It's not, it's not good for you. That's good. Your dad gave you similar advice right before you left for America. Yeah. Yeah, he did. He did.

Right before, I would say maybe a month before I left home and I was 17 at the time and my mom was telling my dad, just talk to him. You need to tell him some things. He was like, what am I going to say to him that I haven't said already? He said, well, something you need to tell him. He's, he needs to hear that.

I mean, that's the kind of go home I grew up in. My mom is telling my dad, like, talk to your son and give him some advice because he's about to leave and who knows when we'll see him. And so my dad, I remember him, I don't even know if we sat down to talk or we were in the garden outside or we were traveling. I don't know how that conversation took place, but I do remember the words and he said, you know, I'll tell you the same thing that my father told me. And remember, his father was a Muslim man.

Yeah. So I took the advice of his father. So my grandfather, think about that. But what he said, I think lines up with our scriptures. He said, son, don't get involved in three places. The first is don't gamble, means don't get into, hey, I'm going to buy a lottery ticket or I'm going to go to Las Vegas or I'm going to drop my money in the slot machine. Don't gamble.

You start gambling, there may not be a stop to it. He said, secondly, my father told me and then, you know, my father told me, his father told him and my father told me, he said, don't drink. He said, you don't need to do alcohol. And now we never drank or even saw anything like that where we lived.

People out there did it and all that was just not us. So I was like, oh, that's not a problem. He said, no, you will have plenty of opportunities for casual drinking and just steer a party.

You're with a bunch of friends. Hey, just try one. He said, you may try one, you will, but you may not know when to stop.

And once that gets into your system and you get a liking for it, you will realize how big a monster that is. The alcohol, the drink, it destroys homes, it destroys marriages, it destroys lives. People with high potential never reach it because now that bottle is so, or that can is so inviting or that wine glass is so tempting that they have to go back to it. So don't do that. And the third thing he said was stay away from women. It did not mean like you cannot have a girlfriend or don't date or marry one day. What he was talking about is don't get into the habit of being the womanizer.

Like I am the Casanova, you know, I can have a girl here and a girl there and that, that, that. He said, don't do that. Don't do that.

That never works out. And amazingly I followed what he told me. So I did not gamble. I did not drink to this day. I haven't drank alcohol. I don't know what that tastes like. I don't want to know.

Gambling. I did not do a single thing to this day. Women, same thing. I've dated people before I met Nicole.

And then of course I dated Nicole and married her, but I was never a womanizer. You know, thank God my dad talked to me. Amen.

And I hope men who are listening to the show will do something similar. Yeah, because we all, every single one of us have been in those places in life where we've been in trouble and we've made the wrong choices and it's only natural to want to protect your kids. And I feel like a lot of times we almost glorify that sowing of the wild oats to a point where it's like, hey, look, kids got to go through it, man.

That's how you become a man. And hopefully one day they'll put all that silliness aside, but it's important for them to go through it. I've heard so many times parents say, well, you know, you got to let them make their own mistakes. You got to let them make mistakes and they got to learn from their mistakes. And I'm not saying we shouldn't learn from our mistakes, but I am saying your kid does not have to make those mistakes. You as a parent and your dad did this and you've done this and you've taught me how to do this with my kids. You can step in and parent your kids. And lead your kids. That's what we're called to do, especially as fathers, to be that guide, that influence in our kids' lives.

I mean, use wisdom, right? With the youngest kids that you have, like Asher's age, right? Asher is what? Five. Gavin is? Almost three.

Almost three. Okay. That age group, yes, of course you have to tell them what to do. Hey, that's what you do. From the ages of, I guess newborn, newborn is hard to tell them anything.

They rule the roost. But anyways, when they get to a point where they know better, just like your son who was about to lie on you. Oh, he lied on me. He got it out.

Oh yeah, he got it out. To about 13 years of age, you will do what mommy and daddy telling you to do. That's the age you have to train them. Train up a child in the way they should go.

Hey, listen, I study Greek and I study Hebrew. It is a promise. I've heard good preachers, some of my heroes say it's not a promise, it's a principle. It's a promise. And you can call it a principle if you want to, but still that's a principle. So what? You have to take it for what it's worth. If you train up a child in the way they should go when they're old, they will not depart from it.

So what does that mean? They will come back to it. They'll return to it. So that is the age at which you have to hold their feet to the fire. Now, after the age of 13 till about 18, 19 years of age, there's more and more freedom that comes in where you do allow them to make certain mistakes, but you have to go, uh, yeah, okay, all right, go ahead and fall because you're going to have to fall for that one. But not mistakes like, well, go ahead and get your drink and go ahead and stay in someone's home and watch a pornography and it's like, you got to make your mistakes. No, you're not going back there again.

Is that what they were watching or you're not going to go there again? That's right. That's exactly right. But then when you get into the twenties, the emerging adults, that's when you go, okay, we're going to back away far more. Now I cannot tell you what to do.

Not because I can't, but I want you to grow up and be your own man. Yeah. Right. Like our own son.

One of them is in this room at that age. It's not like I can't tell you, but I want you to think for yourself. Is that the best thing?

It's not, but now I've said it, but there are certain things. It's like if you're going to be in under a roof, you know, you can do those things, right? But I hope even if you're not under a roof, that you'll have more respect for us and a conscience towards God that you won't do those things and they'll hurt you. I appreciate so much that model of parenting that you set, Dr. Bob, both from the pulpit and then just for us, I mean, as, as friends, as, as our mentor, just teaching us what it means to parent through every stage, how that looks different with newborns and how it looks different with, you know, kids elementary age and then with teenagers and then with the emerging adults. I mean, just to, to be able to glean from your wisdom and from your knowledge. And I hope those of you who are listening, you've picked up on that as well, that parenting looks different in the phases of your kids lives, but you are never not their parent.

You are never rains off totally. You go do what you want to do and I'll be here when you return. No, you are parenting them through every stage, although it looks different. That's right. You are still leading and guiding them.

That's right. Amen. So important for us. If you guys enjoyed today's episode or if you have questions or suggestions for new topics, if today's episode was helpful to you as a parent, especially as a dad, we want to hear from you. Text in and let us know at two five two five eight two five zero two eight, where you can visit us online at clearveetodayshow.com when I encourage you to click that giving link at the bottom and become part of our Clearvee Today Show family.

God is doing something incredible through this show. We want you to be a part of that. Be obedient to what He's called you to do and let's impact the nations together with the gospel. That's right. What are we doing tomorrow, John? Tomorrow we are giving honor to all of our veterans. Of course, we're celebrating Veterans Day this weekend, so we are going to make sure that we honor our veterans and it's just going to be a great show that we have in store tomorrow. That's right. Make sure you stay tuned. We love you guys. We'll see you tomorrow on Clearvee Today.