Our Father | Becky Harling

God the Father wants this alive and a thriving relationship, and that takes us changing our concept of who He is and really accepting the truth about who He is.

Welcome to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times bestseller, "The 5 Love Languages" . It's the most famous prayer in the Bible, but do we really understand what we call the Lord's Prayer? Find out more about what it teaches us today as we welcome back Becky Harling. Becky has written our featured resource, which is a six-week Bible study that will challenge and I think encourage you. We'll unpack some of that as we get into the conversation today, but Gary, do you remember the first time you ever encountered the Lord's Prayer?

The short answer is no. You didn't expect that, did you, Chris? I just look back on my life and as long as I can remember, you know, I was in church and I remember the Lord's Prayer and it was always in the King James Version, so I still can't say it in any other version, okay? But it's a powerful prayer and I'm looking forward to our conversation today about it. I am too, and so let's meet Becky. Becky Harling is a speaker, Bible teacher, she holds a degree in biblical literature. She's written a number of books, we've talked with her here before, rewriting your emotional script, the 30-day praise challenge. Our featured resource today is titled Our Father, a Study of the Lord's Prayer.

You can find out more at buildingrelationships.us. Well, Becky, welcome back to Building Relationships. Hey, I'm excited to be here, Gary and Chris. Well, you are passionate about studying the Bible and we live in a culture that increasingly looks at Scripture as maybe outdated or irrelevant in today's world. How do you respond to that idea that's so current today? You know, in spite of the fact that people may feel resistant to Scripture, what I have discovered is that people are longing to connect with God, particularly after the last few years we've had, right? We've been in a national crisis and we've had this global pandemic and people are desperate to connect with God. And so as I engage them with conversation, I let them know that the Scriptures are filled with God's story and the stories of real people who are seeking to connect with God just like they are. And a lot of times that helps them, you know, because they think the Bible is just all about rules and regulations. Yeah, I think many of the people who have a negative attitude towards Scripture really have not exposed themselves to Scripture.

So they just have this concept that they get from culture rather than personal investigation. Well, I know there has to be a story behind this new Bible study on the Lord's Prayer. What prompted you to want to study this passage in depth?

Yeah, so there's actually two stories behind this. There's the surface story, which is I was speaking at a community-wide prayer breakfast on the National Day of Prayer out in Arizona. And at the end of my message, I had all the leaders in this community stand and say the Lord's Prayer. And in that moment, I felt like the Holy Spirit really nudged my heart. Like these people, they know the words of the Lord's Prayer, but they don't understand the deep invitations tucked in there. And then as I began to dive more deeply in it, I realized, wow, this prayer addresses father wounds, which was very relevant to me. Hmm.

So you're right. The prayer actually begins, our Father. So in the book, you talk about father wounds. How do father issues inform our view of God as a father?

Oh man, they're huge in people's lives. You've probably experienced this too, Gary, as you've talked with people. So many times, people can't connect with God because when they hear that He's supposed to be our Father, they cringe because they have views, you know, they have pictures in their head of their earthly father.

You know, maybe he was emotionally distant or maybe he was abusive or maybe he was really angry. And so they project all those things onto God as our Father. However, the opposite really is true of God as our Father. Yeah, I think that concept, you're right.

The concept is colored by their experience. Now, what about your own life and your own experience with father wounds? Yeah, so I had major father wounds, actually. I had met Jesus as a little girl and I fell in love with Jesus and I knew He was real and I knew He was alive and He became my very best friend. However, God the Father, I had a huge problem with because He looked a lot like my earthly father. My earthly father was in ministry.

He was quite powerful. But while He was preaching Jesus on Sunday, He was abusing us during the week, you know, sexually, physically, and emotionally, and spiritually. And so when I thought about God the Father, I wasn't sure I really wanted to connect with Him. In my little girl mind, I was great with Jesus, just not so much with God the Father. And so it wasn't until I did a whole lot of emotional healing that I could come to realize that my Heavenly Father, our Father, was different than my earthly father.

I had to separate the two. Was counseling a part of that healing process for you, Becky, or was it just you and God working that out? No, I went through a lot of counseling.

And you know, that was a big swallow for me, Gary. And I say this very authentically and honestly, because I believe some of your listeners need to hear this. You know, at the time I went for counseling, my husband was pastoring one of the largest churches in the area. And I remember telling my mentor, oh, I can't go for counseling.

Everybody knows who I am. And she's like, no, you really need to to deal with this. So I actually flew out of state for counseling. But I am so thankful that I did that because it gave me a safe place to process what had happened in my life and how to not project those qualities onto God as my Father.

Yeah. Well, I hope those in our audience who have struggled with that are hearing what you're saying, because I do think that if you've been wounded like that and have a distorted picture of your Heavenly Father because of your earthly father, counseling can help, you know, and talking to somebody who understands the concept and can help you walk through that. So thanks for sharing that personal part of your own life. But, you know, even if we didn't experience horrific father wounds growing up, we can still have misconceptions about God as our Father. So why is it important to sort out, you know, these misconceptions? I think it's essential because the whole reason that God the Father sent Jesus, His Son, was so that we could connect more deeply with God the Father and have an intimate relationship with Him. And yet, you know, even if you didn't experience horrific father wounds, you know, you might have grown up in a religious culture that made it seem like God was angry all the time, or like God was emotionally distant all the time, or maybe God was emotionally flat all the time, you know, and didn't really care about you. Maybe you thought, well, God has to love me because that's what I've been told, but does He like me? You know, and I just have discovered with people that there are all these misconceptions out there, but God the Father wants this intimate relationship with us.

You know, He wants it to be alive in a thriving relationship. And that takes us changing our concept of who He is and really accepting the truth about who He is. Thanks for joining us for Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. He's the author of the New York Times bestseller, "The 5 Love Languages" . Author and speaker Becky Harling is our guest. And if you go to the website, you'll see more about her six-week Bible study titled Our Father, A Study of the Lord's Prayer. Just go to buildingrelationships.us.

That's buildingrelationships.us. Becky, I want to ask a question about the Lord's Prayer, that it is not a magical incantation. It's not something that if you say it enough times, then you can twist God's arm. Because I think there is that feeling that if I just say the right words in the right order, or if I say the words that Jesus said that's in the Bible, then I get a special thing.

And I just want to hear what you have to say about that. Yeah, I don't think it's a special incantation. I do think it's really good to memorize it. Because in times of crisis in our life, if we are not remembering other things, we can go back to the Lord's Prayer. But what I love about the Lord's Prayer is it's like a whole life invitation. And so I myself pray it every day now because it reorders my day around the things that are important to God. And that's part of why Jesus gave us this prayer. He wasn't just giving us a magic formula for prayer. He was giving us these six divine invitations that show us what it means to really follow Jesus and walk in sync with him. So, Becky, can you walk us through those six invitations?

Yeah, I would love to. So the first invitation is to know God as Father. When Jesus taught this, it was radical theology because in Jewish culture, the Jewish leaders thought of God as really being out there so far and so holy that he was rather distant.

Now, God the Father is completely holy, but he wants us to get up close and personal. And so Jesus introduces this concept that we are to know God as our Father. And then he invites us to worship him because the Lord's Prayer says, hallowed be your name. And as a little kid, I remember thinking that just means you shouldn't take God's name in vain.

Well, it actually is a whole lot more than that. Jesus is inviting us into a lifestyle of worshiping and praising God as our Father because as we praise him, we become more like him. And then there's the invitation to surrender.

You know, we really can't surrender to a God that we don't trust. And that's part of why it's so important to know God as our Father. But Jesus invites us to pray, your kingdom come, your will be done, not my will be done. And then he invites us to ask audaciously, give us this day our daily bread. And if you analyze the teachings of Jesus, it's about being persistent in prayer and to keep on asking. And then he invites us to find freedom through forgiveness. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And then finally, to live victorious. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. All right. Well, that was a quick run through, but we want to dig into some of those as we kind of go along here. You know, Jesus invites us to pray for his kingdom to come.

That was one of the ones you mentioned. And his will to be done, which you indicated involves surrender. If there's a king, there's the concept of surrender. So what does surrender actually look like on a practical level in our lives?

Yeah. I mean, I think for me personally, it looks like getting down on my knees and opening my hands and saying, Lord, this entire day is yours. You know, it's not about my kingdom.

You know, here in America, we're so focused on success and status. And it's about, you know, sometimes even this spills into church culture. It's about my church and my church growth and my offerings and building this empire, you know. Or for authors and speakers, it can be about my platform and, you know, my growth. But Jesus says, look, it's not about you. It's about my kingdom and what I'm doing around the world. And sometimes in your life, there might be calls. There's always going to be a call actually to surrender to what God's doing.

It's his kingdom and not ours. Yep. Basically, that's exactly right. But we forget that. Yeah, you're right. You're exactly right. Can you share a story, a personal story or a story you've heard that might illustrate this, what it means to surrender?

Yeah. So I remember being a young mom and at the time my husband and I were living in Africa, we were missionaries and I, you know, I couldn't wait to become a mom. That was the thing I wanted more than anything long before I dreamed of writing books. I wanted to be a mama. And our little daughter became very, very ill. And I remember the doctor in Africa saying, you have to put her in the hospital.

We don't know if she's going to make it. And, you know, Gary, I didn't want to put her in an African hospital. It wasn't as clean as I felt it should be.

It didn't have all the technology. And the second or third day we were there, she was even sicker than the first day. And I remember a pivotal moment where I finally got down on my knees one night next to the little cot they had given me to stay near her. And just, you know, I was ugly crying, like we like to say amongst us women, before the Lord. Like, Lord, I don't know if I can do this, but I believe that you love her more than I do.

And so if you take her, I'm going to choose to praise you anyway. Now, God answered my prayers and He healed our daughter. But I go back to that decision so often because to surrender to the will of God has been a whole journey in my parenting experience, right? And now in my grandparenting experience and in every area of life, Lord, this is what I desire yet not my will, but yours be done.

Yeah, that's powerful. And it's personal when you're dealing with family members like that. It reminds me of what Jesus Himself did in the Garden of Gethsemane when He said to His Father, if there's any other way, let this cup pass from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but your will be done. So it's personal, very personal.

It is. You know, the other thing that this brings up is the pressure on Jesus to be King, you know, because the people that He was speaking to at that time, you know, if you're a Messiah, boy, we got a job for you. And Jesus had to push back. So when you talk about the success that we live in and the status and the platform and the, you know, all the success that we have, especially in American Christianity, Becky, it can really get hard to do something and not see the kind of success that you want and to be content and to surrender to whatever God is going to do with your work, your ministry, your Bible study that you have in your home.

Absolutely, Chris. You know, I often think the disciples were so confused. I mean, Jesus came riding into Jerusalem and I think they had big dreams for His ministry. Like, this is it. He's going to overthrow the Romans. It's all going to be great.

He's going to come in as King. And then, you know, Jesus ends up dying on the cross and they must have felt so disillusioned. Like, what in the world? You know, and yet for them, they had to say, not my will, but yours be done. And it's the same in our lives. It is hard when your ministry or your life or your family life or your kids aren't walking with the Lord like you think they should be. Yet, we always have to go back to that prayer. Lord, not my will, but yours be done. And if it's with your kids, thank you that you will never stop pursuing them.

Yeah. You know, I run into that a lot with adult children and parents who are really grieved over the decisions that their adult children are making. And then they pray for them, you know, and sometimes they aggressively try to talk to them and convince them that the decisions they're making are wrong. But, you know, we can't control our adult children, can we? No, we sure cannot. In fact, I would say we really can't control our little children a lot. We would like to think we can, but, you know, they come with their own mindset.

So, we can pray for them. We can say things with adult kids. My advice is always to keep your mouth shut unless they ask for advice because it goes a whole lot better, you know. I like that advice and I fully agree with it. If you just pray for them and hang around or whatever opportunities you have, sooner or later they may ask for your advice. And if they ask, they're likely to receive it. But if you give it, if you give it when they're not open to it, you can make things worse.

Yes, absolutely. Well, on another topic, you talk about asking audaciously for our daily bread. Do you mean we're to ask for steaks or what do you mean by that? I think we're supposed to ask boldly for what we need and persistently.

You know, I think for me, Gary, and Chris, and I don't know if this is true for other believers, but I think for a long time, I worried like, well, maybe I'm being a pain in the neck to God. Maybe I'm bugging him too much about a certain thing that I feel I need. Maybe it's for financial provision. And I'm not talking about getting rich.

I'm talking about your needs, the ability to pay bills. Or maybe it's about reconciliation in a relationship. And I had tried everything I could, but it couldn't be reconciled.

But asking audaciously and boldly and persistently. As human parents, we get kind of frustrated perhaps when our kids were little and they were persistent. And I don't know what y'all's experience was, but I know some of our kids were pretty persistent. And I remember this one night we had been at Disney World all day long and our two youngest daughters, everybody in the family had gotten to pick out a souvenir before we left.

So our youngest daughter, Carrie, picked out a baby Minnie Mouse. And the next daughter up right above her, who was six at the time, said she didn't want one. She debated, but she decided she was too big for it. So then later that night, we were going to leave early the next morning, like 6 a.m. to start the long drive home. And later that night, Steph just started weeping and wailing.

I changed my mind. I really wanted the baby Minnie Mouse. And she was going on and on and on. And we finally got her quiet and got her to sleep. And then my husband, I will never forget this moment, he grabbed the keys and I said, where are you going? And he's like, I'm going to the different Disney stores. And he went to three different Disney stores that night, came back at 11 o'clock p.m. triumphantly with a baby Minnie Mouse. Now, parenting experts might have told us we should have handled it differently, but our daughter, Steve, knew that she needed a picture of her loving Heavenly Father. And what's interesting is now Steph is an adult mama of four kids of her own. And she still talks about that, waking up the next morning and seeing that baby Minnie Mouse.

And it reminds her that when her kids are persistent, she's got to be patient because God never gets frustrated with us in our persistence. He invites it. Yeah. And you know, Jesus even said, you have not because you ask not, right? Yeah, yeah.

He does. And we want to be careful with that, right? But I think a lot of people have gone the other extreme, well, I don't want to ask God for that because I don't want to go down the whole wealth and prosperity track. Well, we maybe aren't asking for things that we should be, you know? Yeah, yeah. Well, that too, even our asking could be filtered with that concept we discussed earlier of God's will, you know, because we don't want God to give us something that's not good for us, even though we're asking for it.

I mean, ultimately, we would rather have something better than what we're asking for. Yeah. And we can always trust him to decide that. So, you know, people will ask me, do you pray over people for healing? Absolutely, I do. You know, because if God doesn't think that's best for them, I'm okay with that. But he invites me to ask. Yeah. And to share our honest feelings and desires from him.

Yes. You know, I think sometimes, Becky, people have done that. And then God did not answer, you know, the way they thought he should answer what they really were asking for. And then they kind of give up. And they say, you know, well, prayer doesn't work.

You know, I ask God to, you know, da da da da da. Well, another story. I remember when we were camping with our kids, and they were young, and our son lost his $20 bill. You know, he had been at a store.

He had earned that all summer for vacation. He lost it. And that night, when we tucked him into bed, he was crying. And he prayed that God would show him where that $20 bill was. And my husband was like, oh, I get nervous when he prays that, because God doesn't answer, you know. And the next day, Steve went back to that store.

And the storekeeper said, you're never going to believe this, but somebody did turn in a $20 bill. So, you know, God delights to hear our prayers. Yeah. It's great when kids can have that kind of experience. But as adults, you know, it's thrilling to us when we ask God, and we see God move in that situation. I think part of it, Becky, is that we are self-protective. We don't pray these audacious things because we've done this in the past, and we've been disappointed, and I don't want to be disappointed again. So we kind of buy into that God really isn't interested in making me, you know, full of joy and fulfilled. I'm not going to bother him with my prayers. So our own self-protection can hold us back from this kind of communication with him.

Yeah, it really can. And yet we have to feel safe enough with God that we are willing to ask. You know, it goes back to kind of the innocence of a child. We have a nine-year-old grandson who has some special needs. You know, he's on the spectrum. And the other day he said to his mama, Mom, can I ask Jesus to bring back dinosaurs? And my daughter said to him, but I don't think that's a good idea. And little Zaki patted her on the back and said, Oh, don't be scared, Mom.

And then he started jumping up and down and he said, This is going to be awesome. You know, so he had the faith. So, you know, if you see a T-Rex walking down the street, you know, that's because of my grandson's prayers. But, you know, the innocence of a child to just ask Jesus to believe Jesus can do anything. You know, he can do whatever he wants. And I just see God smiling over prayers like that, because he is our Father who delights to give us good gifts. Yeah, I think sometimes he loves us too much to give what we're asking for. Yeah, like the dinosaurs.

Yeah. I'll give you a perfect example in my own life. You know, in high school, I was in love with the girl I was dating. And I went off to Moody Bible Institute. And she wrote me a Dear John letter.

You know, Chicago's too far from North Carolina. We just need to break up, you know. And I was broken hearted.

Anybody that's ever been in love and someone broke up with them, you know what I'm talking about. I was broken hearted. And I prayed, Oh, God, change her mind, change her mind, God. And I look back on that. I'm so glad God didn't answer that prayer.

Because later I met the wife, my wife, and I've been together 62 years. Man, I'd hate to have missed out on that, you know. So sometimes God loves us too much to give us what we're asking for.

That's right. But the beautiful thing is he doesn't get frustrated with us for asking. You know, he just knows what's best for us in that.

Yeah, absolutely. We're hearing about the power of prayer on today's Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Our guest today has written Our Father a Study of the Lord's Prayer. You can find out more about this six-week study at buildingrelationships.us. That's buildingrelationships.us. Becky Harling is a speaker and Bible teacher.

She's written a number of books. And this study is one of those resources that will help you individually, but it can also be used as a group study. Becky, talk about what happens when people get together and really dig into a passage of scripture like this together. I love that because we were designed to connect.

We were never meant to do our spiritual journeys in isolation. And so when a group of people get together and they dive into this, they can share stories just like we're doing today on the radio. You know, I can hear Gary's story of how he was praying about that this girl would change her mind and then she didn't. And I might be a person in a group that hears that story and needs that at that particular moment in my life. And so the idea of sharing stories and sharing hurts together and praying together, it just is a powerful way to grow in our walk with Jesus. I fully agree with that.

And I hope our listeners will pick up this book that we're talking about today, this study book, because it was a great study for six weeks. Sometimes in the prayer, of course, it says that we're asking God to forgive us our sins as we forgive others. The invitation to forgive may be one of the harder things here, especially if you've been deeply, deeply hurt. Now you mentioned earlier your own experience of abuse with your father. How did that work for you getting to the place where you could release him?

Yeah, that is such a good question, Gary. You know, forgiveness was a journey for me, because in the beginning, I was almost numb against all the abuse. So I remember sitting in the counselor's office saying, Oh, well, I have forgiven him.

And she's like, you're not even angry, but what he did to you, you should be angry over. And I was like, Oh, it's okay. But that wasn't really forgiveness.

That was denial. And then I remember sitting down with a well-known Christian leader who looked me in the eye and said, I don't think you've forgiven. And I was a little bit offended at that moment. And I remember saying, well, what makes you think that? And he said, because I still see fear in your eyes. And when you finally forgive your father, there's going to be no more fear. And so that was the beginning of what I like to call my authentic forgiveness journey. And so I had to keep going back to the Lord saying, Lord, as you bring memories back to me, as I remember different things, I'm going to choose to say, I will forgive as triggers come in my life. Because when you experienced any kind of trauma, there are triggers. And so I would find myself at different points in my marriage being triggered or whatever. And I would get mad at Steve maybe when it had nothing to do with Steve. And so I had to pause and say, okay, Holy Spirit, I'm being triggered right now.

So help me to find the root of that trigger. And then I'm going to go back to you and say, Lord, I give you this. I realized my father was just human. He meant well, he did some good things, but he also did some wicked things. And I forgive him. And as I faithfully continued that journey, I was able to find freedom. Sometimes I find though, that even the small things are hard for people to forgive.

I speak at a lot of women's conferences and it will be an offense that one of their kids said something rude to them or a friend really hurt them or betrayed their trust. And really bitterness is the monument we build to our own pain. And then we kind of wallow in that. And Jesus says that we've got to move past that. We've got to experience His forgiveness by forgiving other people so that we can live the free lives that He's intended us to live.

Yeah. Let me ask you this. You know, in Luke chapter 17, Jesus said, If your brother offends you, if your brother does wrong, rebuke him. And if he repents, forgive him. Was there in your own journey, a time in which you faced your father with this and verbalized to him some of this or did this take place later after he was gone? You know, my forgiveness journey happened after he was gone. My father was quite a powerful man. And I don't know that I could have confronted him.

I mean, I probably could have if God had led me to do that. But I think I just kind of lived in fear of him. And I really didn't deal with any of this until after he was dead. So, I was never able to have full reconciliation with my father. You know, reconciliation in my mind is something different than forgiveness. Jesus hangs on the cross and He says, Father, forgive them.

They know not what they do. But He was only reconciled to those who came in repentance. You know, and so for me, I wasn't able to be reconciled to my father.

I did forgive him. A lot of people, you know, the question I'm asked most commonly is, do you think your dad's in heaven? You know, how do I know, right? I can't judge another person's heart. I trust God's grace.

I hope he's there. If he's in heaven, we'll be reconciled there. But I don't know that. And it's not my place to judge. I have to trust God with justice and to orchestrate and give out redemption and grace according to His plan.

Yeah. And I think that's what Paul talked about in Romans, you know, when he said, don't take vengeance yourself. Give them to God.

Turn them over to God. God knows everything, you know, about your father and everything else. And He's a loving God, but He's also a just God. And if we don't confess our sins, then yeah, that's going to have an impact in terms of our future. Sure.

You know, this is a hard area, you know. But it's interesting, is it not, that Jesus in this prayer that He was teaching us, that we are to forgive others, as it's so important because He's forgiven us. And the fact that we've been forgiven does make it easier for us, does it not?

Yeah, it does. You know, and what's interesting about this prayer is after the prayer, Jesus reiterates how important it is for us to forgive others. He says, for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.

I mean, that's a weighty verse. Certainly, we believe in grace. But that verse is kind of a checkpoint for us that God takes this whole journey of forgiveness very seriously. And He wants us to go down that journey to forgive other people because it's essential in our experiencing of God's forgiveness. God may have forgiven us, but we may not feel forgiven if we're not forgiving other people. Yeah, and I think the distinction you made between the forgiveness that does not lead to reconciliation is a one-sided thing. You know, I sometimes call it releasing, you know, instead of forgiveness.

It's releasing them to God. There's never any reconciliation between us and God. You know, we're told to forgive as God forgives us. Well, how does God forgive us? When we confess our sins, you know.

Right. And so reconciling forgiveness is when a person, you know, acknowledges that they've wronged you and ask your forgiveness. Then, you know, we forgive and now we're reconciled. But if there's no acknowledgement of the wrong, then there's not reconciliation. Exactly. You know, we can let it go. We can put them in God's hands, but it doesn't lead to reconciliation. So I think, yeah, I think that's important.

Yeah, I do too. Now you've taught parents that it's a good idea to teach their kids the Lord's Prayer, that is to memorize the Lord's Prayer. Why do you think that's important? I think it's important because, again, the Lord's Prayer really encompasses our whole spiritual walk. You know, it kind of reorders our spiritual walk around the things that are important to God. And so if kids learn the Lord's Prayer when they're kids, they likely will remember it when they're older, when they're battling decisions, when they're about to make choices that they shouldn't be making. And if they can go back to the Lord's Prayer and remember, I have this Father in heaven who adores me. Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. And going through the Lord's Prayer can remind them of how God views their life.

And so I do think it's really important. And I've noticed in recent years that a lot of churches are returning to the Lord's Prayer, and it's beautiful. I know in the church where I'm attending, we say the Lord's Prayer together as a congregation almost every Sunday. And so my little grandkids are working on learning the Lord's Prayer. And I want them to know it because it will guard their hearts later in life if they pray it from a truthful, authentic heart.

Yeah. You know, Chris asked me that question at the beginning of the program. Do I remember the first time I heard the Lord's Prayer? And I said, no, I don't, because I learned it so early that I don't remember the first time. But I still can quote it. And as I said, I quoted the King James Version because in those days, that's all I knew. But whatever version it is, it's the same message that we're bringing to God because Jesus taught us to pray it, you know.

And he taught us for a reason. Most translations of Matthew chapter six. Where did that come from, those closing words?

Where did it come from? And is it a good idea to include that in the Lord's Prayer? Yeah, so it came from First Chronicles 29 verses 10 to 13, where David is praying and consecrating the people that because his son Solomon is going to be building the new temple. And David prays, praise be to you, Lord, the God of our father, Israel, from everlasting to everlasting. Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power, the glory and the majesty and the splendor. Then he goes on to say, Yours, Lord, is the kingdom. You are exalted as head over all. Wealth and honor come from you. You are the ruler of all things.

In your hands are strength and power. And then he goes on to say, Now our God, give us your thanks and praise your glorious name. And so most Bible scholars feel that the benediction that we've added to the Lord's Prayer is rooted in that passage. And like Warren Whisbee says, why not include a great benediction at the end of the prayer? I like, what is that benediction?

The benediction is, Lord, yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen. You can almost see yourself with hands lifted, right, when you're saying that.

Yeah. Expressing to God. That's your desire. You know, Becky, all of us experience struggles in life, emotional struggles. We've talked some about that with your own experience. It can be physical. It can be other things where we need healing from the wounds of the past, whether they're physical or whether they're emotional or spiritual. How can praying the Lord's Prayer bring healing in our lives?

Yeah, I have done a lot of research in that area, even since releasing the book. And it's intriguing to me that a lot of medical research now is pointing that people that pray have lower blood pressure, have better heart conditions, you know, because as we are praying the Lord's Prayer, there is this natural rhythm. And as we're praying it, the Holy Spirit is calming our bodies.

So that's the first thing. The second thing is, as I said earlier in the show, it reorders our lives around the priorities of God, the things that He believes are important. And so as we are dealing through maybe emotional pain in a marriage that maybe isn't going the way you would like it to go, and you're praying, give me this day my daily bread, Lord, you might pause there for a moment and say, Lord, today my daily bread is the wisdom I need in my marriage. Or today my daily bread is I just need encouragement or to feel loved. Or maybe if you're struggling with a broken relationship and you come to the part, forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

You might pause for a moment and say, Lord, who am I holding as a victim or as a prisoner because they've hurt me? And then releasing that to the Lord as you move through these different invitations. Certainly, hallowed be thy name as you begin to make worship a regular, intentional part of every day. It's going to change your life because you can't worship God and not be changed. And so I think each of these invitations help us reorder our lives around what's important to God.

Yeah. In today's culture, truth is seen as relative. And people will sometimes say things like, well, if praying that prayer works for you, that's fine.

But I'm not interested in that. How do we in today's culture in which whatever you think is right is right, how do we communicate the love of God and the truth about God in our generation? That is such a big question, Gary. And I really love that question because I think a lot of believers have made the mistake of trying to argue the truth of who Jesus is. Listen, you don't need to defend Jesus because He's got His own defense, right? And so if somebody says to me, well, if praying that prayer works for you, or if they say, well, if Jesus works for you, great, but He doesn't work for me. I kind of like to say, I understand that, but let me challenge you.

Why don't you try it for a month? Pray the Lord's prayer and see what happens. Just put out a challenge or explore the claims of Jesus and then you decide. And if you decide He's not truth, okay. But for me, after exploring the claims of Christ, I believe that what He said is true about Himself.

But I would encourage you to explore His claims and reach your own decision. I don't believe we can talk people into belief in Jesus. Hopefully, they want Jesus because we're loving them so well. My fear is that in our present divisive, polarized culture, sometimes we are pushing people away from Jesus because we're screaming at them.

We might not be screaming at them with our mouth, but we might be screaming at them with our fingers on social media. And that's not winning anybody to Christ. You really can't have great morale. Let me put it this way. You don't have a reason for great morality if you don't have Jesus in the center, right? So, I mean, we have to love people like Jesus said, we're to love them. And if you read through the gospels and you see how Jesus spent His days, it was with the poor, the broken, the messy, the marginalized.

I mean, He didn't spend a lot of time with the religious people, you know, and maybe we've gotten that a little wrong. You know, I hope our listeners are hearing what you're saying on this because I think today it seems to me many, many Christians have just fallen into the culture where we're fighting everybody that disagrees with us. You know, we're shooting words that cut people down and put people down. And the people that we're, you know, as it were, putting down, God loves them.

They're made in God's image, you know? And we're His representatives and here we are, you know, putting them down. Now we can put down ideas. We don't have to agree with all ideas, but we must treat people with dignity and respect because of what we believe about who they are. You know, I'm going to say something a little strong.

If it's too strong, you can edit it out. But you know, I always think, okay, it's Satan's job to be the accuser. Revelation says he lives to accuse the brethren day and night. And I believe we are never more like Satan than when we're accusing each other. And we have to stop because it's really sending a negative what message to non-believers.

They think, well, I don't want to be a believer because y'all are fighting over everything, you know, and you're yelling at me all the time. Becky, what do you think is God's goal for us in giving us this model prayer? I think it's a goal to realign our hearts with what God feels is important, really to realign our hearts with God as our Father. I think a lot of people view it just as kind of an order of prayer. You know, you move through these different invitations, but it's way beyond that. It's an invitation to align our hearts with what's important to God.

Yeah. Well, Becky, as we close our program today, could you just pray the Lord's prayer with us? And let me just invite our listeners also. If you can stop where you are just a moment and just lift your heart to God as Becky prays this prayer with us.

Absolutely. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever and ever. Amen. And I hope our listeners can say Amen together. Well, our hope today is that we've given you a little bit of hope and we have no idea what it is that you're going through, but God does.

And if this has encouraged you about Our Father, a study of the Lord's prayer, go to the website and you can find out more. Go to buildingrelationships.us. You'll see more about Becky Harlan and the book Our Father right there. Go to buildingrelationships.us. And coming up next week, how do you keep love from fizzling out? Pastor and author Danny Silfe joins us in one week. A big thank you to our production team, Steve Wick and Janice Backing. Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman is a production of Moody Radio in association with Moody Publishers, a ministry of Moody Bible Institute. Thanks for listening.