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Wise Women Managing Money

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
April 9, 2022 1:00 am

Wise Women Managing Money

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

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April 9, 2022 1:00 am

Women today control more than 50% of the wealth in America. They want to steward their resources well, but many feel a lack of confidence in the area of money management. On this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, mother and daughter Miriam Neff and Valerie Hogan team up to help empower women.

Featured resource: Wise Women Managing Money by Miriam Neff and Valerie Hogan

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Debt budgeting insurance wealth management for women today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman Jesus had a lot to say about money management. If you look at his parables. He didn't care and it mattered it's exciting to see people get on that track and run received so much for the world is ever-changing or world ever-changing practically always impacts her fine welcomed relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times, the five love more women than ever: making decisions wise with your money will find out today with the mother and daughter team. Valerie is an excellent resource title wise women managing money expert advice debt will budgeting and more find up to five love languages.com. A lot of people are intimidated by money investing life insurance that all of how to budget I think this resource really help. Well, I think so too. Really grateful their treatment to women is not just for women, though the yeses got a really, really helped women because I think there a lot of women a lot of widows husband dies and their lawsuits were to go with all the financial stuff. So whether it's a single person or brothers murdered personal think of this book will be extremely helpful. Some excited about our conversation today so am I we get to talk again with Miriam Neff great friend Moody radio founder and president of widow connection the not-for-profit ministry, author of 12 books, including from one widow to another, and women and their emotions.

She's a counselor by profession, Bible study teacher, seminar, conference speaker, mom, grandmom, world traveler, and she's teamed up with her daughter Valerie Hogan who holds a law degree and the certified financial planner designation.

She works with National Christian foundation orchard ministry development and widow connection for more than 20 years. Valerie is led groups and individuals toward good stewardship with Christian financial concepts Crown financial and financial peace University. So now they are together. Mom and daughter and they've written this new resource wise women managing money. Find out more at 5lovelanguages.com Merryman Valerie welcome back to Building Relationships so good to join you, thank you for having us on Gary Shamir.

It sounds to me like this was not just something you and Valerie decided to do because you had some free time this came from a passion. The two of you have to help people and give them practical suggestions right well first we do appreciate that there a lot of Christian men talking about money, but they're not Christian. A nice focus on Christian women talking about money and are issues and experiences are different and our voices are different Valerie narc have have had different experiences and as you both know I have been in working a great deal with women who suddenly don't have their husband some of them are suddenly very wealthy.

Some of them move into poverty, but also we have connected with a lot of younger women who kind of are buying into the debt thing because that's popular in our culture, and this we just care about this a lot. So there a lot of different topics that we feel are is important that women know a great deal about. Is anyone else about you been actively teaching financial concepts for the last 20 years.

What happens when people start to grasp the money management. I love to see the transformation in people's life. You know I'm Jesus had a lot to say about money management. If you look at his parables.

He didn't care and it mattered it it says something about our worship, our heart and so when people really start to grasp that and realize that it will make a difference in how they can serve the Lord, their freedom, their confidence, their ability to be generous and help others and just take some of the mental energy that it away from worrying about it and apply it to the other things that God has wired us up to do. It's just exciting to see people get on that track and run with it.

You say that this is the most important book you helped create house it different than other tools that are already out there. Will it addresses the second most important topic in Scripture of the most the topic that is addressed most in Scripture is love and the second is money and stuff and some of my other books like emotions and talking specifically to widows and people going through big changes. The kind of touch on it in different ways, but this gets all of it and we come at it from a Christian perspective which is unique in that we say it's not ours. It's all God's he's loaned to us so that puts a very different perspective on it, and when we talk about being generous. It's not like oh were going to give to God. Some of ours. No, it's his. We get to use some of it and it's like you I give peace like a parent giving two children, a box of chocolates and one child takes the box of chocolates and starts gobbling it up and is chocolate all over his face. The other takes the box of chocolate and opens it and gives it to the parent to take from it. Firstly, I think it's kind of maybe it's, mommy visual but that's the generosity thing very wise. Your perspective is to women writing managing our money is so important. A couple of reasons than I am. But when we talk about women managing money were looking at the data were looking at the conversations we had, not necessarily our opinion, are attend that but just what we've seen over years of ministry and in working in this area.

So from the women have a different experience from the data with money I will and will be managing a great amount of over 50% and that's the way the stats are just heading and in many times they have some of the knowledge but lack the confidence to really move forward. That's what we've seen from the data so we really want to be an encouragement to say you can do this manage it well gain knowledge.

You know work around some of the jargon that sets people off, but it's so important because I'm in marriages.

Statistically, 80% of that time she will carry the baton to the end.

He will go to heaven before she does so, that's so important because if it just wasn't her thing in a to manage the finances.

It will be anyway. And she really needs to be prepared for a couple reasons not to run the race well and to be great steward and to avoid fraud and being taken advantage of. Get give me one area were usually women not managing their money will while we have just the world, battering us with voices of it's okay to have credit, you know you work and earn more. I we really start with the biblical principle of you need to earn money and then spend and do not spend more than what you have coming in and we're just bombarded with so much on I would say the world's message of this consume consume consume keep up. You gotta look like this. You gotta own that I hate to see women by end of that at the cost of their future and in the things that God would have for them and then also at the cost of generosity. The way the church was meant to operate and how we can do for others. I'm so that's one way and the other is just kinda shying away from investing the Bible is pretty clear about what's expected of us.

It's as stewards and we do not need to back away.

We are perfectly capable of going full on into that and being that Proverbs 31 woman as she did not shy away from the marketplace. She did not shy away from investing and she was commended for that I will and I love this especially true because as we learn and know what is important to God.

The Matthew 25 steward that multiplies what she has.

We learn what is important to God, then we have more confidence and we also learn, and then were not so, subject to taking someone else's opinion and saying well I don't know about this. I'll put it in this financial person's hands are that financial or or my relatives hands or whatever.

Some of them are looking out. Not for you to grow your wealth, but for whatever thing they're selling and that kind of thing and I work with so many women and deal with them in terms of trust and that kind of things that it breaks my heart when the trusted someone else to do something that was theirs to manage and they ignored and they didn't do well with that. Thanks for joining us today for Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman.

He's the author of the New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" were hearing about an excellent resource for women today.

Miriam Nath and her daughter Valerie Nath Hogan have written wise women managing money expert advice on debt wealth, budgeting, and more.

You can find out more at 5lovelanguages.com Miriam, you mentioned that you've written a lot about emotion.

I have heard never use your emotion and your money. Your investments never react emotionally to what's going on you need to keep that out of your decision-making. Do you agree with that advice absolutely. How many times when someone is hurt someone is sad someone this morning someone is grieving. Do they reach to something material for a solution.

They call it comfort food. I call it French fries.

Well anyway I better not digraphs the curb at all, but the other thing is retail therapy. Oh my word as a counselor what is therapeutic about going out with their charge cards and I feel bad I want the purple shoes today or whatever.

These are things where they are. Emotions are supposed to be our mind engaged with our heart and so often it's like will let one run, and not the and that solution that has to do with money needs to be God centered first and then it will be right in our heart will be comforted in the book you have 26 chapters covering a lot of topics so let's do a little flyover and let Ashley to read the title of the chapters but just tell us, as some of the things that you address in this book simply address in note 5 major subject areas well one is first things first, and really that's getting a hold of what is that you're managing just really taking stock-taking and assessment of what away own and what I owe and then it's managing it. So let's get on a spending program.

Let's kinda get a handle of a where we need to go's that's getting your roadmap and starting to budget and a lot of people don't like that word but I'm get on that spending plan to just have control were telling our money. What to do. Not wondering where it went right so then to really look at budget busters.

There's a lot of and emotions could be one of these things but there's a whole bunch of things that kinda sabotage progress at why is it that everybody doesn't rock their budget all the time.

It's one of these budget busters probably and then we talk about investing and just kind of what are some of the tools out there how to learn about it, but to look for in an advisor and then really bringing it home with direction that matters. Once we do all that Harlequin to be generous. How are you to relate to our family, how we can get about the things that God cares about and look at how he's wired us to be supporting and using his resources for his purposes, and if I might add here.

For instance, when Valerie mentioned the section on management of some women are going to look at that section and pick one or two chapters that matter to them and not read the rest. We talk about cars we talk about housing we talk about discretionary nondiscretionary out we talk about, though just several practical areas and someone might say, well I got that down, but I don't quite know about this other area or insurance impact. It's not the cost of the car. It's also how much to insurance insured and that kind of thing and investing. We go into several different layers of short-term long-term equities Roth IRAs so that a person can say well I don't know if I want to read through 26 chapters. I'm going to go pick out what's my problem right now and dig deep into that, but hopefully they will come $30 to confirm that they're doing great thank our listeners can say this is a book is going to be with a lot of topics related to finances.

No there there a lot of single adults in the US. The stats are pretty high on that what you advised of singles approaching, financial planning and is that different from married couples will first of all, most of the women in the United States are single and for many women who were married we are single more years than we are married. Those are just statistics, so that means and the married woman also stands before God alone with the single woman stands were for Donald so it's vital for her to grasp this weather.

She's young and starting her career and trying to find an apartment or whether she's vintage like I am who I was, is responsible for what Bob and I had together and out to just meet up with the other thing in Valerie's mentioned this before, there so many things pulling that person in directions that aren't godly. I think just for two women to say yeah we get it get it that this is what people are saying or what's popular out there but let's go back to our why one of things and and talking with people that are single and general as they need to think about it in a couple different ways on how you how are they going to do in retirement how they need to provide for themselves now and long term, and so on. That's one aspect of it.

The other is kinda having I mean yes you know in marriage. Kinda Kelly gives that the us that hip check in some areas where we've got. I call it self on the throne a little bit too much, so there's not that kind of really close proximity maybe of someone who knows us that while his right there to say I'm not so sure you know that that's what we need to do. Let's pray about it together so there I think having someone that they trust and that is a believer that will lead them to accountability in these areas and and then it just kind of the long term plan provision and it's a different thing with generosity till they may be single with kids.

They may be single and not have children and so we really want to look long-term about you know what is God want them to do with that long-term generosity and legacy plan a couple is married and has not been managing their finances together which is which is often the case to suggest that they begin well carefully note here you and talking with capitals over a long time. I'm in a one of the things is if you have if they haven't been managing it together. Maybe they just have never done that and need to start and then there could be there's a resistance from one of the other self. I do like to take it back and say in some of the details of like why did you buy that or why do you think that I meet back up and understand what is important to that person you known one person might say I just really want to retire early.

I'm okay with not spending much in order to get there and the other person might say what you know everybody in my family has passed away at age 50.

So why would I do that gives an understanding of where the other is coming from and so you know, if one person goes out and buys at the other knows exactly why they did because they know where they're coming from and I just I would say start there. I'll say when we go about with the spending plan.

Lay it out and just prayed together, sometimes literally over the paper or over the app Lord. Here is what we are doing. What would you have for us. And as you know couples that are praying together have so much better chance of unity and and really success in going forward and that and if I could add with the divorced woman. She has usually surprises and unexpected things so it's incredibly important for her to have the voice of two women saying we understand their challenges and and some very specific helps that we offer in the different chapters and the additional thing about American couples and I've been asked to talk to different groups of couples by financial planners and I say to those couples I say men do you love your wives, and of course they nod yes and then I say, then they need to know everything about your finances and that's just that's just right there because the realities of life require it because of what we've seen just, you know, not making generalities because that can go both ways, but we are talking about the experience of what we've seen in the aftermath of that not happening think you're exactly right. I think there are men who handle the finances in some families and their you don't know about all this moment like this might thing you know that but there's also wives who have that approach in.

I'm really good at this year not to let me handle issue but if you face the reality that you just mentioned Miriam what was going die before the other. Dominic doubled the same day. So we both thought I have inside and all what's going on so that when that happened, not if that happens when that happens we we are not totally blindsided in this whole area marriage will reduce some of the basic budgeting issues that are misunderstood and cause a lot of financial grief will one of the things we address in the book and we go back and forth writing these chapters, and then the other one. Critique seven adds to it and Valerie in writing about that talked about the importance of before marriage before committing to another person, you have some very important talks about what you value and you also know the other person's financial status, and some people would say well, where's faith in God, in God we trust all others bring data and if that man I sorry I'm a little blunt here.

If that man has poor credit rating if he is unwilling to reveal his financial status and this is whether your divorced and remarrying, or I've known some widows who remarried someone who needed their wallet or one of their wallet them in this stuff is like, we can say this and as you can tell network fairly blunt about it, you need to know all that ahead of time if there unwilling to reveal that you do not want to commit to them in an engagement or marriage that's important to discuss upfront and some but I would say general budget issues. Issues that are made to be misunderstood is how much debt is okay.

What kind of debt is okay on do I really have to buy a house. Is it okay to rent amino. There are some misconceptions misconceptions about investing and just getting a wise and biblical perspective them in there it is again right. The Bible is the best resource we have on money to get that biblical wisdom will prevent a lot of grief and godly counsel. Those going after. I think sometimes folks may feel boy. I just don't get this. I maybe am not smart enough, and if that's not true there's a lot of jargon there. That is confusing for most, so I would say to very common to feel kinda insecure and shy away from what we think are not good at that. Figuring out some of those things that are maybe myths or misconceptions can prevent a lot of grief later on. It's worth looking at you. You talk about different ways to invest. You don't like specific recommendations but you do explain the options to talk about investments a person can consider yes so you we we don't make recommendations for a lot of reasons there and each person you'll hear you'll hear folks generally in financial planning and finance industry say and it's true. You have to look at your age and stage of life, and your tolerance for risk. Now we've heard that a lot. I think that's really in a matter at why does HY guess forget age, but when do you need the money. If you are gonna need that resource within one to five years. You can invest maybe in a way that's I can have wild ups and downs, whereas if you're probably not gonna need the money to retirement and that maybe 40 years.

You've got time so we look at the kinds of things like what about a checking and savings account. What about a money market. We look at things like stocks, bonds and various kinds of investments like that to just kind of flyover we talk a little bit about okay if you've heard about the S&P 500. Do you know what it is our desire is gonna fly over our heads.

Let's break down. What does that mean what does the NASDAQ what is the Dow so he knows are kind things out.

We might hear or see takers go by on a screen and you know if it's just all jargon to us. We might shy away from that, but it's knowable, will, and if I might add in the book.

One thing I love is we have these definitions, the Miriam and Valerie definitions so it takes the jargon and it says this is what it is but then another thing we have pictures in there.

We love graphic so for example, someone might say well I don't know the difference between a small Mid-cap and a large, so we have a picture of an adult woman in a business suit and we have it. A picture of a teenager that will teenager and then we have a toddler there you have at the Todd versus small The teenagers the mid-cap. The adult is a large Know which one has more growth potential. A company that has been around a long time has different growth potential from that baby. That toddler that has a lot of room to grow their big differences there, but it's helps for us just to know the jargon small-cap mid-cap large-cap what you say about the Valerie yeah I'm traditionally that's true, and I mean were looking over the long term and what's great about all of these different kinds of investments is that you and of the Bible talks about diversification and we hear that word over and over diversification. That's the way to go. Which means have a little of each, or have a significant chunk of each, but we want to spread out not to quote put all of our eggs in one basket. There are times and different kinds of market conditions where smaller companies in a really have the run waited to go. Other years, large companies, Emmy who would've thought toilet paper would've been a hot Wall Street commodity for a bit right so it's it's covering kind that anything can happen in the Bible talks about building wealth. Little by little and were back to boys at a great idea in a great source of wisdom there.

You don't know what can happen so just don't go on in on one thing or the hot latest item because that's prone to change as we seen you deal with exchange traded funds. The ETF's that are like baskets of stocks in certain sectors we do. We talk about that a little bit and we clarify what that is and how it's based on a mathematical equation and algorithm so it's not really based on a human being buying and selling so that does save some fees because most the time that human being is not doing it as a volunteer or doing that as an employee.

It is getting paid for that. So they are really good for somebody who does not want to oversee everything all the time and ETF can be a really good option and it can cover a broad category of the market. Like for example the S&P 500 an index that covers all of that. So if you need diversification and want to have low fees that can be a good option for you. It's one it's one of the tools in the toolbox that you can use your listening to Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, New York Times best-selling author of "The 5 Love Languages" you can hear a podcast of the program and find out about our featured resource today@ 5lovelanguages.com, Miriam Nath and Valerie Hogan have written wise women managing money expert advice on debt wealth, budgeting, and more.

Find out more at 5lovelanguages.com click resources, then Building Relationships. When you go to five love languages.com but we mention the topic of generosity. In earlier sessions, but I want to talk more about this because you talk about generosity to God in the book clarify what you might address all of the book from the worldview of all of the resources that we are managing belong to God.

When not taking them with us and really not ours. He owns everything and so I think we can be generous with resources but also in spirit humble to acknowledge that it is all his.

To understand that our purpose is not to build our kingdom, but his that were here to glorify God and so just having our behavior match that were not to be perfect were in the sanctification process right that really to come at money management and really management of everything we've been entrusted to look after to approach it that way in and know that he made us for a purpose, and he has put what we are managing in our life for a purpose that he has and it's not all about what I want right now or what I want later and if I could add to that, we get very specific in saying think about what God has placed on your heart because we give to different places and different entities in different organizations and churches and we say look under the hood, make sure of your knowing what that group is doing and how they're doing and how they're managing what you're right. I call the people that give money to our not-for-profit whittle connection I call them investors and what we do, so they need to know how were doing it and oversee that in some ways you can know a little better's volunteer for them then you get them and seeing what they're actually doing, but for instance of we know that faith-based organization typically does more with the money that they have, then the government does, it goes further and it it's more practical in its outcomes. So someone might say, well, I care very much about adoption or I care very much about world relief in difficult situations. So God places on your heart many times from your own experience where you want to give. And again, but that's not that you're giving your money, you're saying God's entrusted me with this. Let me put it here where it can bring glory to him greater glory to him the concept that everything belongs to God. I don't think that's an internalized concept. Even with a lot of Christians, but will we have that does it help us win the look so we've invested in stocks in the stock spillway Dale I would say the first thing is contentment because we yes we are counting on the markets to do certain things, and we've investigated and we hope that it has a certain outcome, but when we know it's all God and we have wisely done the best that we could our confidence is in him and our dependence is on him and for instance on that day when the markets have gone down.

We talk about. You always need to have that 3 to 6 month available money for your budget right now and going into different problems that have happened. Whether it's a pandemic or order disruptions in the world. How many couples and how many individuals would be much more at peace. Had they followed that biblical principle and you see this in Scripture Joseph when there was famine coming he is. He saved up and was prepared know we don't know how long the famine will be but just that 3 to 6 months. That is not common in our culture, and I don't think it's all that common in all Christian families. I'm sorry to say I think you're right.

And knowing the market will go down. It has gone down many many many times. That's part of how it behaves, so understanding that and not writing that while ways of barely having anything in reserves and then also just taking really risky. That's all say instead of investing their different. Those are two different things. And then when some things do get really low that may be an opportunity of buying opportunity. But we can't do that if we've just gone all the weight we've spent all the way up to every single thing coming in. Remember back in 2008, when the market went down to figures 2008, and a maniacal investor who's a Christian, God, he will show me what happened in the weldment look at Togo's money should it didn't bother me at all. God's money is when you know was all my customers filter… Goes even did a lot of personality. What I get about motive shooting at hand.

Next, when markets go down, which is interesting they don't get tons of calls when it goes up in cellulose and so I built a new thing, then the market came flying back up again.

So if you got as you're scared you missed the other one absolutely no effect. It fits in with what you're saying is that I remember a pastor said there some years ago in her church he should just remember now you're not giving to the church you giving to God through the church. So what you're talking about the church. Are you a Christian organization that think that's important for us in heaven. But as Christians we were giving to God were not this giving to the church or any other organization that got up puts in perspective it does and also what we need to it like we say look under the hood and sometimes picked organizations lose their way. Even churches and who but we can. We again we say it's God.

So we have to be vigilant for the sake of the kingdom, and that puts a different perspective on it and really as the Christ taught in his parables. The money is about more than the money God has us on the great adventure and I'm he's given us things to do, people to meet places that need our help out place it people and places that we might need their help right. He has us here for a purpose and the money is just part of that. So really, it's his. So if we get the perspective of he's guiding us through this. He has us on this path and it's for his glory, and then it's the great adventure. And also, we know how the story ends so that helps right with they don't do not be anxious and don't panic. Is that bad and rough things are going to happen, but he has an eternal purpose, and then you know we have from glory to glory, so that it's really kind of exciting. If you look at it from that worldview absolutely no chapter 24's titled eight habits of wise women managing money.

What are some of those habits and why are they so important and will a couple of them are weak, we take responsibility for knowing our finances.

We don't make excuses about our finances and that doesn't mean we have to live in guilt and shame. It just means we get after it.

And so that's one thing to just kinda keep in mind as a base on that it is all God's on loan to us to steward and where generous for kingdom purposes.

That's kind of the why and there's a lot of information and good resource out there about know your why. And certainly that's ours as so those are a couple will and I would mention a few more and I we save this little eight you might say on that soon a little special books in chapter 24, but you might want to make that your screensaver or put it someplace where it's just the reminders because we can see I'm going to do this. I've got this plan and then we cut a call into autopilot, which is not good, but one of the important things as we regularly revisit our spending plan and revise with wisdom. This is not something you put on autopilot. Yes, you can put in your budgeting process to have auto pay for certain things. But then you need to watch that just like you need to watch your investments.

We see so much these days that our world is ever-changing and our world ever-changing practically always impacts our finances. It might be what we thought was job security that no longer is its whole segments of employment that really shrunk for a while and we don't know if the will come back or not. So when we kind of think will.

This is how it's going to be.

If we think it's going to be the happily married ever after, or the financially solvent on this plan forever. Life is really hold and we need to keep an eye on that and be looking at it and making changes as necessary. We hope you're enjoying the conversation with Miriam Nath and Valerie Nath Hogan today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. He's the author of the New York Times bestseller "The 5 Love Languages" and are featured resource is Miriam and Valerie's new book wise women managing money expert advice on debt wealth, budgeting, and more. Find out more about it and more simple ways to strengthen relationships@ 5lovelanguages.com that's five love languages.com Mary Valerie answer this question. My mother is 95.

She doesn't have income coming in and she's living on the retirement of my own bed and she will get the information in the mail and other places you loosens the Moody radio and that they say give to Moody radio and she'll think that's a good idea. And then there's you can support a child overseas and there's all these things that she wants to give to, but she doesn't have the money to do that. How do you prioritize your giving. Could you talk about generosity a little earlier what would you say to somebody on a fixed income like that it's very important that she understand what she needs to consume what she needs to live on exit at so that's part of it for her to their have a very clear understanding of how much income or how much of those resources did she have. Does she have access to and why does she need and what can she give and so I mean that's the problem for some folks, if they're not if if they're not if they haven't taken us assessment of what's coming in and what's going out if they don't know they're just kind of maybe winging it, or guessing or you know again it's an emotional or heart tug to what I really want to be give to that, but I'm to give that fear, put putting on a credit card with no intention of how you're going to pay that or you're just kinda throwing it out there. It's is it really generosity you taking from something else. It's not really yours to give.

And so I don't believe that's that. What the Lord has for us.

He's got for us and of this wise stewardship. So if she can. She has enough to live on and then can give maybe just laying that out before the Lord to save this other all the places I want to give are so numerous, I don't have enough resources. What is the priority and in I would just lay out for her to ask the Lord what he would have her in that and I would add the Scripture says take care of family first and she did alone so she's her family so it's expected for her to read her self and have housing so it's not an ungodly thing to say.

I've gotta pay my rent, I've gotta buy my oatmeal or whatever and then if she is able to shrink that because she wants to give another places that's okay but were talking about wisdom here were talking about following God's principles. What do you have and then what are God's principles.

You take care of your family and she is it right now. Miriam, there are scams and predators. Galore we hear about them all the time we protect our money without becoming paranoid will first of all, we pause when anybody asks us to do anything or invest in anything or whatever it's going to be and usually the scammer is pressuring for such a quick answer because they know if you have time to think about it you will say no and so one of the things we say is first of all, be careful who you listen to and second if they have a idea or plan for you.

Remember that there plan for you not God's plan for you and I have had Iris. I'm thinking of a young widow with four children and someone knew she had life insurance and said all you need to put in. This was a friend of hers. You need to put it in this particular product to save for your children for college that particular product.

Gave that friend a big cut off the top. Hello. I mean okay I'm not going to get carried away here but but here's one of the things Valerie always says is you can say I will think about that and get back to you late yet.

The other thing is, I believe if they really have your best interest at heart. They need to be okay with the answer no and very few scampers their fraudsters are going to be okay with that. No thanks I don't want that they need to be okay with that and truly somebody who has your best interest at heart. If you're selling a product and that's not a bad thing that everybody is a nonprofit or volunteer.

It's okay to have a business and do things to make money but if that customer does not want or need that product move on and so there is the difference between a you know a legitimate business and and someone maybe who's gonna defraud or take advantage of that a person is not interested if it's confusing if they're pushing it really quickly and so we don't need to be.

I call it fighting dragons that aren't there, and the case that how do we stay not paranoid about that but those are just some checks.

Don't click on things that are out of nowhere there getting their getting good at it, make their logos like legitimate organization so this is hard also have family and wise, godly counsel around his to be speaking into that. I got one of those trips to this account is in question that out of the give give us your information so we can make sure that a right is on the other. They're all too common on the home phone.

You say that often women lack confidence in the area of finances and earth. I'm sure this is true of many women.

What will you think that's true right and that's not something we came up with as our opinion there are many that do have confidence. However, what we've seen in the data and especially from my mom's wit ministry for widows if women have not been doing the finances before. It's not that we lack the brains to do this.

We certainly have that M and the ability but a lot of times it's the confidence and the data shows that especially in investing and under some of these areas that traditionally have been a kind of quote unquote man's world. And so maybe that's an area that wasn't built for them, or with them in the past and so and that can really hold back from all were meant to do in that area, so we are seeing a phenomenon of especially with widows if they've not been doing the finances before there just either giving way too much credibility or giving away decision-making power to others because they're not confident, and are unsure of themselves or they're just freezing, and we know that we can't just know very our talent under a rock.

We need to keep that moving to keep up with costs so those are the areas that we that we are seeing that lack of confidence really hold back and you know you were perfectly capable of getting after this will, and if I might add a good good news here the younger generations are more confident and and we talk about generational differences in the book as well.

My generation. Many of the women did not work outside the home when they had children. I was an exception and that I was doing that, but more women now with children work outside the home, so they brought are bringing in a paycheck so they are more likely to be very interested in the family budget.

What's going on and for the younger women they are seeing what the what's happening in other generations.

So the good news is the women are more active in financial areas now in.

I would say generations younger and that is building confidence plus Val and I are, trying to make a difference here with this book. If you think about how things were 50 years ago. Even maybe 30 years ago and what was there a stigma attached about maybe the women managing finances and investments in the home. There certainly was was there statement attached to women talking about money. You know, there was almost this concept of women, women of a certain grace and elegance. Don't ever talk about those things. I remember distinctly feeling that growing up taking that that perception and from wherever it came from but if God is asking us to do something that's different than we need to be able to have the confidence and to lean into that, so that's a little bit of wear that lack of confidence might come from is that hey, it's a whole new day. And even if it wasn't if God is asking us to do something meeting to move forward and think that this book is going to be greatly helpful to women who are looking for more knowledge which brings confidence. Those who say a word about inflation it's rampant because of housings through the roof just amazes me that many families are just living paycheck to paycheck. What you say to these people, with inflation being what it is. This is so difficult and so what I say and when I say with compassion and understanding. It is so important to just monitor what do we need to understand the difference between our wants and our needs.

Inflation is just it's a well theater. It can be destructive, it can help if were on the saving on a little bit but really out-of-control inflation eats away a ton of wealth for families, not just wealth. When I see wealth any kind of savings getting ahead. It also having an emergency fund not having to put things on credit having that buffer is critically important at at times like this out weeding out what we really need what can we wait on as far as spending, and I would just say no. Hang in there on these things to do tend to add and flow. They can be that way for a long time and really to understand a little bit about what inflation is where it comes from. To understand that always.

After the party. There is a mess to clean up. That is how the world works, and so we can't go on as individuals or as a group or as a country spending and spending and spending with no consequences.

That is not living in reality. And so we just really need to take a look at that for ourselves and our families, but on a broader scale as well and to take that into account and act into that and know that we can make a difference on an individual level but on a bigger level as well by caring about it and getting involved another group of people. I think that many of us who have empathy for is the single mom with two kids or three kids, or one child will just lead to single moms will I have been involved with the many who've gone through divorce and have found themselves in financially very precarious positions and that that can be true also for the young woman who you know who husband has passed but for the single mom.

One of the great challenges that she has is the temptation to try to soften the blow to the child for what the loss they have gone through by providing stuff like okay you get to have the smart phone. I don't want it to hurt you because this is happened, or new parachutes or whatever.

And the credit card is available so I would say it's so important for the single mom to be vigilant for them to watch every cost and know that things will have to change many of had to change living places many of had to change things that their children can participate in, and it seems said but it's that reality that she is giving account for God alone as she. We would anyway, but especially in her situation. I would also just sad. I would say to her God sees you. He cares about her about her family and my hope is that she is in the community in a church where she can let her need be known and my other hope is that the church would step forward and be the church and help to provide even if it's just for a better understanding of budget you know we don't we don't need to provide for somebody's wants hopes and desires but their needs. We just make my great desire is for all of this to help us move to a place where we are part of the church in the body of Christ, and we are being that body of Christ, who is reaching into a situation like that ends and saying for such a time as this. We've set this aside.

We were whites wise stewards for exactly situations like that and I might add.

I know of one home mom with her.

Her teenagers were asking her for things she couldn't provide. And they were a Christian family, and she said sit down with them and said you know what you're asking me for things that I want you to stop asking you what you start praying about it.

I can't provide everything you're asking for and you need to know that and take your request to God first, I thought, well that's pretty bold, but she did go to well there a lot of other topics to cover in the book such as retirement and long-term care in all of these kind of things. I just really think both of you. Miriam valve being with us today and for taking the time to write this book because I believe it's going to be a tool that's going to help a lot of people. So thanks for being with us and Gary, I want to say a big thank you to you because your youth touched by letting us come and talk with you on something that's important you talking about how people love each other so this comes down to.

Sometimes money and stuff and compromising all that. Thank you for addressing this issue.

Hope today's conversation is been encouraging to you. Maybe you know someone who needs the resource. We can talk about wise women managing money by Miriam this Valerie Hogan find out more about them at a featured resourcing five love languages.com that's five love languages.com and next week. You have to hear the incredible story of your perfect for the Easter season coming up big thank you to our production team Steve Glick and Janice.Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman's radio in association with the ministry in the Bible and thankfully


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