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Gun Lap

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
February 5, 2022 2:00 am

Gun Lap

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

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February 5, 2022 2:00 am

How do you run the final stage of life’s race with perseverance and integrity? Coming up on this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, Robert Wolgemuth will talk about the importance of men living well to the end. If you feel like your productive years are behind you, don’t believe it. The “gun lap” might be your finest part of the race.

Resource: Gun Lap: Staying in the Race with Purpose

https://www.christianbook.com/lap-finishing-your-race-with-grace/robert-wolgemuth/9781087740478/pd/7740478?product_redirect=1&search_term=gun%20lap&Ntt=7740478&item_code=&ps_exit=PRODUCT%7Clegacy&Ntk=keywords&event=ESRCP

 

 

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The final lap in your life's race can be your best. Our bodies are wasting away, our inner children being renewed as we used to put our inner selves are being renewed day by day that's really welcome relationship throughout the New York Times bestseller the five love my day author and speaker Robert longum, and third and stay in the race and finish well.

Robert is a prolific author and this may be his most motivating book for men it's titled gun lab about it today. Gray tabby along with us and Gary. This is one of those resources that I know your this book was written from the back.

I'm almost hoping the guys will read this book.

All of earlier ready for this exciting program. Men and women.

Robert welcome.

Is this the best-selling author of more than 20 books, including she calls me daddy the notes to the dad's devotional Bible. The most important place on earth what's in the Bible.

He cowrote with Dr. RC Sproul is married to Nancy Demoss while Demuth and has two married daughters to sons-in-law, five grandchildren, one grandson in law featured resource today is gun lab staying in the race with purpose. Five love languages.com to find out more. Robert welcome back to Building Relationships. So much fun to talk scheduling me for your program. Great delighted you're here. Let's just jump into the subject because it's such a needed discussion today tell us about the concept of gun lab. Well, if you were to go to attract me and you would watch the 2 mile run around a quarter-mile track eight times around the track when the race begins. The starter rated arm in the air, and fire the gun pistol and that signal the start of the race when the lead runner started eight lap.

The gun goes off again. So that means you got one more lap to run and they call that Dunlap actually saw this for the first time when I was just getting ready to graduate from college. My college was hosting the conference track meet and the coach asked me to help with the track meet in a rake pits and so forth.

I came to this race, he said, are you available I said so I went to the tower and watch this thing from up there and it was unbelievable and that the longer I talk I talk about the book about a young man named Ralph put not come with 20 seconds off the conference record in that one right.

Anyway, but that was my introduction Dunlap so two years almost 2 years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and so Nancy and I talked at length about this season of my life. If the Lord would heal me and what I would do with the rest of my life and I remembered the gun lab and I said you know this is not about dying. This is about living so what am I going to do with the time that I have left.

Between now and the time that the Lord takes me home and so that was the inspiration for writing the gun lab can certainly understand that.

Send us your put your hoping that man's 40s 50s 60s and so forth are going to be reading this book you will not be on the last lap. Okay. However, many lamps were bad but think what you're doing what you getting this book because I rated really, really liked it. Man read this you know in their 40s 50s and 60s with this concept in mind and are doing things, then it's going to help them when they get old.

That very last lap right yet that's right.

Thank you for saying that you read the book and my hope Gary. It felt like a conversation between you and we've been friends for a long time and my goal really is find a corner table at a caf, a poor couple coffee and talk. My heart your heart talking about a very serious subject is nothing really humorous or funny about that. This is serious.

You know we we feel this in fact I'm I'm so reminded us that crickets were 16 that says our bodies are wasting away, but our inner selves are being renewed day by day. That is a picture of a man running the Dunlap. Our bodies are wasting away. We can't run as fast as we used to, but our inner selves are being renewed day by day. That's really the message. Since that discussion of a conversation with you and that you mentioned earlier think women would also value this book because the concept of the gun left with us to both genders right it does I I am writing specifically for men because I think II think it's different Dunlap start differently for men and women. For example, I think when a guy is getting ready to retire from his job or when he's beginning to plan to get ready to retire from his job. That's the start of the gun lab for most guys a woman starts her Dunlap when the last kid walks out the door and she looked around saying I spent my life helping to raise these kids and teaching them and cooking for them and whatever else I did. Now what I'm going now what am I going to do. So I think it's different. Although I clearly as a man in writing this book for men and the truth is I've heard from so many women who are thanking me for writing this book for men in their lives so women cannot look over the shoulder of the man reading book and and hopefully it's encouraging to them as well. I think you think you're not can see how lives if they understand what this looks all about would walk their husbands. This book yeah I would sure hope so. That's right, you dedicate the book of family since you dedicated the book to young man only live 20 years.

Why did you choose him yeah love Nick tallies his mom and dad are good friends of Nancy and mine, and Nick was a student college student in Louisville, Kentucky, and he was with his friends and he just dropped that I was like he wasn't sick. It wasn't an accident. He just dropped that course. His parents were just crushed about all this. So I was live streaming.

The funeral, and his daddy went to the microphone and he started this way each one of us is given a race to run. I was in the middle of writing this book. What might my ears perked up in my heart perk up as I'm thinking well you don't know when you're going that's going to start you don't, you and I don't know how I'm going to live the actuarial tables. Tables have UN and me about you know what 10 years. Maybe.

But if you're 20 years old at the last thing you expect of his daddy in giving the eulogy at his funeral talked about the fact that Nick mixed race had finished and I was that was inspiring to me because I am writing to a man in let's say in his 50s and 60s, but you and I never know we don't know until that time comes, and so I contacted him and they would be okay if I dedicate this book to your side and he said yeah that would be amazing.

So I dedicated to Nick at a 20 at 20 years old because you and I don't really know. It's God's providence will know and I know that's that's for sure.

Yeah, this is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman.

I guess today is Robert Waukomis, author of gun lab staying in the race with purpose. You can find out more at the website. Five love languages.com that's five love languages.com Robert going to jump in here because in the first segment you talked about something really important.

The physical struggles that you have been through what did that journey do for you as you wrote this book. I think a lot of men live their lives without the end in mind.

I'm reminded of the guy who said most guys the last day as a guide of our lives. Without the mind is that the end whatever whatever he's doing but yeah, absolutely went when I was diagnosed with melanoma and then two months later with lymphoma mean I've been a very healthy man. I've been grateful for that.

But when you spend hours right getting infusions of chemo getting transfusion of blood plasma. When you spend time in that MRI tube over and over again. It it really gives you cause a mean you can't do anything but just think about what this represents. And you know the brevity of life. The vapor that life is and so and I'm not talking about somebody else.

I'm talking about me right so it's like when you got when you go in for surgery. This is this is this is happened to you.

I'm sure a number of times your your gathered in your room and you're saying a prayer. The doctor's barrier sweetheart. Is there but when they wheel you down that hallway by yourself. So my goal while the inspiration was that I'd done that a number of times during what was 2020 but I'm thinking there are guys out there that need the encouragement of a colleague, a friend and ally come alongside them and say okay I know what this feels like I know I know the anxiety of wondering what's going to happen. In fact, maybe the most inspiring thing for me. Gary was, I discovered that I was doing something that I didn't remember doing much before. At my age I was hearing voices in the night not.

I know that sounds like a horror movie but okay so guys Rh can't make it to the night without getting up at least once.

I need to say any more than that, I think I got so you go back to bed after you do that and you're lying there and you're trying to get back to sleep and your mind begins to race and I found myself Gary being very critical of myself look back over the day and I'm thinking I can't believe I said that that guy are. I can't believe that memo that I should double check before went out whatever and I am finding myself filled with self-doubt and regret and really anger at myself for four blowing the day before for messing up the day before and so I can I talk about self conversation in the book knowing that guys Rh spent time in those wakeful, not hours in the middle of the night. You know, hearing voices, critical voices so interesting because when you read the Psalms King David is our ally in this thing. When you read the Psalms and you realize that David, I believe, suffered the same kind of thing. Those midnight voices that reminded him of how foolish and how sinful he was in and here's here's I think the answer to it.

Martin Lloyd Jones great Welsh preacher of the last century, writes about the subject by quoting in the book he says don't listen to yourself speak back to yourself so when you're lying there and there's in your next next door and your wife is what you do you speak to yourself and you say Lord Jesus, I need to hear your voice I need. I need to know that you're here that you care about the situation that I'm finding myself and you care about the fact that I'm getting older and and I'm I'm anxious about that.

Maybe worried about that. Maybe angry about that and I need for you to be here with me right now. So instead of hearing voices, you speak right back to those voices that are saying unnecessary and end up foolish and hurtful things about yourself that is so interesting.

I grew up in a tradition way back and I won't name any names but the denomination that was very heavy on works and very thin on grace so I'm I'm on the phone with a very good friend of mine talk about get a chance Ray Orland who is in his gun lab below my closest friends and I told him about the self conversation will Ray grew up in a home. In fact, my wife Nancy worked for his daddy at Lake Ave., County from church in Pasadena, California sometime Ray about this and any was quiet were on the phone and he said I don't have any idea what you talk about why couldn't grew up in a home where grace flourished and and you know, as it's so interesting. So here's here's the deal.

I learned sometimes this is hard. Will call it pride to forgive myself. It's easier for me is to give you and for me to forgive myself. That is pure pride, unadulterated pride because I think I should be better than you know the book written by a guy named Bruce Larson years ago and any talk about that and I'll never forget how it's all to read that and I thought you know what that is so hypocritical that is so long that I would have higher standards for myself and other people and that's pride so anyway Ray said I have no idea what you're talking about. I grew up in a home that was filled with grace, so it's easier for me to offer myself grace rather than live their big critical of myself. So as I've spoken with man as I talked to men interview interviewing them to write this book, I discovered that I really wasn't alone a lot a guys lie there and find themselves being very critical of of themselves. You know, and I guess your body isn't doing what he used to do.

So what you say to yourself when when you get out of bed and you can harvest abductors are so dizzy or your knees are killing or you bump your head when you're getting in the car and you got into that same car a thousand times but this time you bang your head. What do you say to yourself I am so grateful for that idea because it's been not two years since I was really I believe the Lord quickened me to that sin in my life.

It's been it's been a great experience. First of all to recognize it, and then to confess it and then to be free from absolutely the problem with that is a lot of men don't have any friends they don't have somebody that can come alongside them and I'm glad that you're there in book form, but I think part of what you're saying is you need to find another guy or group of guys right.

That is so huge to write a book and I don't have time to write anymore, but I would write the friendless American male. So I want to get too specific about a wanted reveal any anything that's confidential, but very recently I had lunch with the man who I've just just barely gotten to know we've we've never had a one-on-one lunch meeting.

I would been the dinner a couple times with his wife and with Nancy, my wife, but I hardly know him so wanted questions I asked him was tell me about your closest friends and he stared back at me across the table and he said you know you I almost choked up. I'm thinking what I hardly know you III know the names of your children, but that's pretty much it. So I think guys isolate themselves. In fact, technology gives us an excuse or reason away to isolate ourselves and I think guys in the gun lab that this particular guy stays up till 2 o'clock as required in the morning while watching Netflix on his computer. You know 50 years ago we didn't have that problem so guy is that this is just to mentor, this is true. Teenagers, they think that when they friend somebody on social media, that's a friend not even close.

So yeah, I think guys my age a non-talking about late 50s 60s 70s are pretty friendless and and might. There's no question that a book is and get accomplish this, but my hope is that a book will inspire a guy to seek out a friend at church. That's the best place to find one incident, but somebody you can take a lunch and and open your heart you know begin a friendship that this at the level that our wives get to without even thinking about right Neil Warren Dr. Neil warned know that name was that he started eHarmony meet Neil and I were friends for many years and he used to ask counselees. The question tell me about your closest friends. So if it was women or a woman in his office, she would say, while the others Judy and Cindy and and just go down the list right and all I get. He says now there's a man in my office and I say to him, tell me about your closest friends, but I look back to me and it back to me and he still say like like what you mean friend that's a very sad commentary, I think, on our culture and again you know you you talk about what happened. The pandemic maybe the most horrible part of the pandemic. This is for children and grown-ups as well is that we live life isolated from physical contact with other people so you know a guy my age a guy your age has to have a friend that I could so this is so fun.

Talk like this because I am so on the front edge of deep concern about men. Our age who don't have close friends and what that means. What a friend does is reveal to you what's really going on inside the fence with a friend who bears the love you enough to speak truth, this, this can be a life changer. This can be a game changer for a man to have a friend who we can speak to speak candidly to him. We can cry with and laugh with, and do fun stuff together. You know the interesting thing is college gave us that right graduate school gave us that you know are our early marriage times gave us opportunities for that. The older we get back. In many cases, our bodies die believe in the far more funerals and weddings in the last seven years. Right. So that's that. The tragic thing is it's a hard thing. So the whole point of gun lab is to encourage guys did not stay there to recognize it if it sin, confess it and find somebody that you can love some find a man who you have enough common interest that you can play with and laugh with, go to movie with have lunch with Betsy it's up it's a big deal.

I think it's interesting many of my friends golf to make a friend that's the worst venue in the world to make if you don't have time to finish a sentence. Write about get out the cart. Whatever you mean it. It'll take you 18-hole. Tell us a short story to your buddy.

So, although I love the golf which I was bit better at it. Golf doesn't cut it in my in my opinion a walk, jog a lunch those those things can be really very special. A man to a man I really agree with the golf thing is to guzzle so you have free and we play golf regularly in the column friends you know it really is just it's just playing a game together does not discuss and they don't share life with each other, you know, I don't know what's going on inside of each other.

It might be a place to start. You know you can meet a person playing golf, but has to go beyond that. I think that is such a key issue in today's world to know what you say to a man who feel that they haven't live the way they wanted another. Looking back now beginning to look back and feel like I haven't run the first part of life very well, so they're discouraged about the last lap. That year, you'd be a better judge Gary because of the life of the Lord is giving you to answer the question as to how many guys are out there that are feeling that living living with deep regret and in wishing his story was different than it was and it you know let's let's start with the basics what you do is that you identify it you contrasted you make it right with people need to make right with those I have very good friend that he was a friend to Moody did a lot of design work can talk can have it as an agency in Atlanta. He was, he was one of the finest designers in the industry. When you saw an ad or a book jacket. You could tell Bucket side can't got pancreatic cancer and it was stage IV and he didn't have long and he called me and Percy said, is there anything that I need to straighten out with you anything.

Anything that needs to be confess I I don't want to die with anything left undone between you and me Was a gentle man he was a very special guy. I said no not at all.

Then he said, do you know how I can get a hold of any mention of a woman who used to work for me at Thomas Nelson publishers ice. Well let me see if I've got to talk to her and I spent the next hour or so trying to run down contact information for this person because Kent wanted to talk to her and ask her forgiveness for something that he had done decades before and he felt the Lord prompting him to make that right with her so to answer your question, you look back over the span of your life and ask that hard question.

Is there any unfinished business back. There is, is there somebody that I need to call in contrast and ask forgiveness for it can can you imagine Gary if we would start a movement of men doing that.

It's so easy to compete when when I'm married Nancy. She was 57 never married.

She didn't know a lot about men. I'm going to just say she had a great relation with her daddy, which was a gift to me because she knew what it meant to trust a man but I said, here's what men do they compare and they compete by for them to be open and honest and transparent with each other is hard work.

So you compare. You compete you longer guy you say something behind his back. Your hurting intentionally whatever.

Just just take a look back over your life and ask yourself that question.

Who do I need to contact who do I need to call and it is much better to be called in to write.

I'm just saying you don't naturally want a permanent record of that but call a guy and say you know this may sound crazy, you may completely forget this but would you forgive me for what I did. Honestly, I don't want to make myself out to be the hero here, but I do have a story about 50 years ago I had the privilege of standing up at a wedding with a colleague up classmate college classmate of mine and I did a stupid thing at the reception.

I mean like this if you Google stupid in this story will show up and I did kind of wanted beer.

I got a chain in a serious chain from the hardware store at the reception. I put this chain around this guy's neck like is getting married right was refining padlock on and I threw the key out into a field that I get foolish. Google it that pictures show up. I carried that for almost 50 years.

This guy lives in California.

I had no contact with them by God's grace. About a year ago. This guy called me.

He called me because you heard that I got sick and I cannot tell you I'm gonna cry thinking about. I can't tell you how grateful I was to hear his voice and to realize who I was talking to and I said I'd I got it.

I gotta tell you his name was Arnie. I don't think you'd mind. I said Arnie I have, I have to confess a really stupid thing I did you. You are at your reception and I replayed the story that I said I'm not asking you I'm not telling you that I'm sorry I'm asking you, will you forgive me for doing such a foolish, thoughtless, unkind thing he said I don't remember all the fixture of the crime, idleness, what is writing all this is from the west, but I held that in my heart and so it was hurting me so even though Arnie did not remember that I had done, I remembered it and I we message that that was unfinished business in my background to what I would say to a man listening to this to you to you and me and to Chris and Andrea look back over your life be Pocket and say, is there anything I need to get squared away with you far better to do that when I have air to breathe words speak that having somebody stand next to my casket and say oh I wish we had made this right before I well is powerful agree with you think there there are things in the probably all of our lives, we take time to look back and reflect on and asking God to help us and show us those things was a huge step is to think that your father had a big impact on you, but there was one scene that you write about in the book talk about what he said to you when you ask how he was doing. Yes my father did have an impact on me and what I would say is every father has an impact on his son and sometimes those are adopted fathers and adopted sons and so forth. Every father whether he likes it or not, has a powerful impact of the sun. In fact, you know, sometimes a look at my face in the mirror while shaving in the guy looking back at me is my dad.

I'm thinking wow I look like my dad. I can't believe it. So anyway, my dad died of a rare disease that they thought was Parkinson's but it was so heat he was on Parkinson's medication it wasn't helping really really frustrated so I walked by his study he sitting on his chair at a newspaper (and I walked in I said can I committee said sure is a gracious gentle man and I knelt down next to his chair. He folded the paper I said dad how are you and he didn't answer right away and he said to me that I feel useless. I'll never forget this as long as I said I feel useless.

This is part of or talk about here that used to be that you got frustrated because your email inbox was jammed full and you were behind in all kinds correspondence or regular mail came in, you had stuff you had to do art meetings that you had to prepare for whatever in this stage your phone is quiet. You don't get as much mail you as you used to get you don't you don't have a group of people who answer to you.

You're not a boss anymore you're retired or whatever and you feel useless men get their self-respect or self-worth by doing things and if they can't do that anymore, they can lose the joy and feel useless, like my daddy said I feel useless and it was a great moment. I was glad I had this before my dad died I said tell me why tell me why you said because our rates are one of the family get together in the young people to grandchildren or talking or talking technologies or talking downloads modify said I have no idea that I feel lost and I feel useless that I talk about this in the book about technology I use computer every day I use cell phone every day, but it doesn't take much for me to get lost and I need some help right I need to check I find myself saying I need a seven-year-old.

So, in fact, when I was writing this book. This little. This will get your attention as your writer I might my computer was telling me that my hard drive is full, and so young man who dealt me with this kind of thing. I turned it over to have any screen share great subsidy.

Looking at my screen and my cursors dashing around and stuff I had to go to lunch.

I came back. Long story short, I lost 30,000 words. And I don't mean well to get it back. I mean, it was gone forever. That kind of a metaphor of how it feels. Because technology moves so fast and you and I are left in the dust.

So that's another way that makes us feel useless and old and and and like we can't keep up with stuff and it's not so interesting when we were when we were little boys are daddy's knew more than we do what we did right now our older guys need younger people to help navigate all this technology because the world runs on technology and if you're not up to speed, or if you don't have somebody go to and help you with stuff you you you will sit back yesterday. My screen went black. I'm not kidding. I'm working on another manuscript and my screen went dark. My I could start it manually. It went dark. I just sat there staring at it. I thought, here we go again it's not money guys our age and younger people don't mean there there natives you hire aliens to all of this right so that's just another way guys our age guys in their 50s and 60s and 70s can feel lost and like my daddy said useless. During this period of time. So first of all, let's not forget that the Lord Jesus knows exactly what were going through and I find myself on my knees more than I've ever been on my knees is pouring my heart out and and confessing that I don't know what to do next, that I'm frustrated that I'm feeling useless that I'm not I would never say that I have ever been depressed but maybe close to that these days these years. Not not knowing what you know what's going to happen. Losing friends to death.

I was in a conversation with the guy whose name you would recognize. So I would need to begin to think of telling this guy that split been in my in my business. The publishing business. For my whole career is been a deer) and he is brilliant he is a brilliant man. He knows book publishing. He knows books he knows authors and I hadn't talked to them for a while and I called him Gary.

It sounded like he was sick. I said are you okay you said no to tell me you say well I retired and he said I woke up this morning and I stared at the ceiling and he said I said to myself there's no reason for me to be alive. Well, I mean if you told me that a good friend of mine was going to say that he would be the last. I would ever have thought this is really this is a serious subject and it's one that men need to free be free to talk about affect our buddy pop bottle peanut know you know is the past Little Rock. Kenny took a group of 30 guys do this book in EP said it was an amazing experience that because the book was that great.

Although I think it has, but that it gave guys a chance to unload to open their hearts to confess this stuff, their fears, their frustrations there there. The idea that they might feel useless these days. I thought about marriage in the book all what a huge thing to talk about because the chances are much better than not that your wife will stand by your casket. You've got a few years probably to love her in a way that maybe you've never loved and served her in a way that maybe you cannot serve your again that that maybe one of the most important chapters in this book because it's easy. You know you see older couples at a restaurant and are just staring at each other, or even at that age.

Looking at their phones and I'm saying all put it down. Please credit us with her life absent and she needs your undivided attention right now lover like you not love her before you know that I got married late in life. Nancy did to Nancy. She got married late in life and we decided this going to sound crazy, but our anniversary is November 14 were just about getting ready to celebrate our 74th anniversary. I'm not kidding Port number three.

Three. Celebrate months, why not everyone the fact that the Lord gave you this amazing woman to be your mate, so don't those kinds of little secret things are hiding in here that I think is going to be a huge encouragement to guys our age. I really agree with that is, as I read the whole thing will determine what happened so many times as you know, guys just go home and don't have anything to do and then they don't live long church ceremony experience of Robert are officially retired from our church staff the end of July of this past year after 50 years on the same staff okay. I might be a record not only as an associate pastor in the same staff but my pastor the time he said to me, what can we do for you.

I said if you would allow me to have an office you would allow my assistant to continue to be my assistant.

That's the greatest thing you could do for me is really a said yeah yeah so they did out of the office every single day since I retired you know Linda goes always. I got energy and my sister is more in tune with technology that I am soft on sayings five or six times a day that you help me with this one.

Good to help show know that not everyone is fortunate to be at a job where they can ask for that event actually did it, but I so agree with you that when we retire from our job. Whatever it is we need to have something that's owner hard to do because if were not doing what I think we did get to the place where we feel like the useless. This is Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman and our guest today is Robert log a method is the author of Dunlap staying in the race with purpose.

You can find out more at 5lovelanguages.com coming up the power of loving your neighbor straight ahead on the radio. Robert just before the break. Gary was talking about his own experience it as I I'm hearing him on cheering him on both of my fist in the air because that's it. Gary is really living out what you're talking about so good to hear God bless you Gary way to go. I talk about one of my heroes and heat. He never gone to heaven, he never knew that he was one of my heroes.

But this is actually the dad of my sister monitor that sound like a hairdresser story, but this is my brother's wife dad so is my brother's father-in-law's name is Don Cargill. I'm happy to say his name on the air is one of my heroes. When he turned 80.

He learned to play the piano. He learned Spanish. He took his grandsons to the Northwoods to go fishing.

He did not stop physically.

He was able to do that it's it's so interesting that you have to get up and get out you know and and we get invited to do all kinds of stuff on the Internet right learned the place Don Cargill did those things, and he was at the end of his life about the most delightful man you so these might our buddy Colin Smith says every great life change begins with a single decision single decision so you and I are sitting there feeling useless or we don't. We don't have a stack of work to get through. Make a decision to do something significant. I've I've learned a new way to love my neighbors. You know what one of the worst things that was ever created with his electric garage door permissions the pole into my garage and closed it behind me and not speak to my neighbor was out there mowing his yard. I have I have learned to love my neighbors like never before. Ever because I have time I have time to get out of the car to walk over to ask how he's doing. I learned that his son made the football team.

We talk about that that's that's I I am loving the extra time that I have now because the demands on my time in life are less than they used to be finding something that you feel is meaningful but that's the case you talked earlier about the marriage relationship. In these years, what you suggest to women. Married to me in who are entering the gun lab. All right, I've got a word patient's patient's don't finish his sentences give you give him a chance to know Ed, you lose words Gary when you're talking sometimes yes oh yes yes yes so your wife and infect your wife to be your friend and that the chances are, I'm not a doctor outing play one on TV, but the chances are that you're ahead of your wife in those kinds of things, forgetfulness, and so forth. So your wife needs to be patient with you and she remembers when you you know could run a track Do a face plant right so she needs to be patient with you and her words all their so powerful she needs to be reminded to encourage Nancy has a thing with survivor Hartz called a 30 day husband challenge and its and it's in writing at the little booklet and she is she's distributed millions of those men need to hear from their wives encouraging, you know, it's so interesting. I believe what people I love. Tell me about myself. We that's a gospel right we split start with the God of the universe dying for me what is that mean that that that means that I know this sounds crazy, but I'm worthy because he says I'm working so you your wife at this stage of your life has to learn to encourage you, maybe more than she ever has touch her touch her units are walking along the sidewalk hold her hand when you're sitting at a restaurant to get the kitchen table holder touch her.

Now you know things don't work like they used to weekly to go into any detail but touching loving, tender words, there is there is probably this is probably more important in your 60s and 70s that was when your that's what I would say encourage her husband with good words and with touching the room with about one of the things to talk about in the book and that is how important is it for man to really saturate themselves in God's word.

During this time, all that that you know the answer to the question you live the answer to that question. I thought a moment ago about having a little more time now, at this stage of your life and what a great way to spend some of that time in God's work. I use and I've done a different, different ways of doing this, but I I go to the Bible every year and their wonderful tools out there to help you do that, but Nancy's daddy did this. My daddy did this, my late wife did this my wife, Nancy, does this you start the day in the word you start the day. Listening to what God has to say. By way of and then you pray on your knees and crawl in front of your chair. You kneel down and you pray and that that stocks your pond makes sense. That is yes and you know that the problem is if you're starting to like that in no time. Other distractions are going to keep you from getting back there, so I'm an early morning guy so I really don't get up and start it's always dark like so I have this wonderful quiet time for nothing. Nothing is on. Nothing is making noise and I get to open God's word and I say, Lord, what is it that you want to say to me maybe have read this verse by way of your Holy Spirit. Would you say something branded as I read, that's that. That is, I would say that's an essential that standard equipment, brig IRAs will for anybody but especially Berg IRA.

The Holy Spirit can really encourage you as you walk with him.

During these very important laps in your life like the way you tied together reading the word and listening to God and then talking to God because it's a conversation and is listed and I like the fact that it's the end of each chapter you include what you call a gun lab, prayer and prayer that fits the season of our lives I think. Sometimes guys need that right just thinking about man thing here just just read this prayer will be a great head start, absolutely because I think sometimes your your putting prayer and words it we would necessarily use our sales but will read them and it yes yes Lord, that's what that's what I'm selling well this is been delightful. We could talk another hour. I do hope that the men who are listening and women who are listening will get this book because I think I dealt you know most books about what women suspect if she would give this to Roseburg and asking to read the introduction. The first chapter you read the rest of the book, so thanks for sharing with us. Thanks for the time and energy you spent invested in writing this book, Roberts are all as long as God gives you life you keep writing. All right to say back to you man, motivating and challenging conversation. Robert was Been with us you want to finish well.

This resource will encourage you were someone you know gun lab staying in the race with specific resources to "The 5 Love Languages" .com. Find out more. Five love languages.next week funding the hero is your husband, Dr. Julie Slattery will join us to help strengthen human should be a great discussion just before Valentine's Day I thanks to our action team lacking Hannah's time with Tom that Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman's radio in association with the ministry and thanks


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