Share This Episode
Building Relationships Dr. Gary Chapman Logo

Sent - Heather and Ashley Holleman

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
July 31, 2021 1:45 am

Sent - Heather and Ashley Holleman

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 163 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.


July 31, 2021 1:45 am

If the prospect of sharing your faith with someone makes you nervous, you have to hear this edition of Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. Husband and wife duo, Heather and Ashley Holleman have discovered a way to turn ordinary interactions with family, neighbors, and coworkers into an invitation to adventure with God. They call this an opportunity to live “sent.”

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
Core Christianity
Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
Matt Slick Live!
Matt Slick
Our American Stories
Lee Habeeb
Our Daily Bread Ministries
Various Hosts
A Call to the Nation
Carter Conlon

If you ever wanted to share your faith with others, but for some reason you can't. Don't miss today's Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman. This practical way of living every day with adventure and intimacy with Jesus because this part of our core identity of the two trust God to be part of what was welcome to Building Relationships. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of the New York Times best seller. The five love line today. Heather and Ashley Holloman talk about what it means sent for gold were nervous about sharing your faith you like the answers to some hard water. I hope you'll stay with us for another summer. Best of go to website. Five love languages.com you'll see Holloman's book titled sent living a life that invites others to Jesus.

ICU is, natural, sharing your faith because it's part of really who you are. Was there ever a time when you didn't feel confident sharing with others due to Chris, what jumped into my mind immediately is two weeks after I accepted Christ accepted Christ when I was in the fifth grade. Okay, a senior walked up to me at the bus stop where I was catching the bus to go to school and said somebody told me you're a Christian, is that right and I looked up at him. He was much taller than and had cigarettes wrapped up in his shirt sleeve and I said no not be okay. I'm glad he walked away and I'm telling you all that day. I felt awful. I knew I knew about Peter denied Jesus and that's the way I felt and that night I pour my heart out to God to Nelson. Oh God, oh God, forgive me forgive you. Forgive me and help me never ever ever to deny again that accepted you as your vivid experience for me, it was it was I guess really it was really at Moody Bible Institute is a student that I first really learned how to share my faith with people. So in high school I live the Christian life, and I think people knew I was a Christian, but I didn't do much in terms of evangelism and really sharing the gospel in those years. One of the fellow with the cigarettes in his shirt sleeve.

If these listen to the idea here is deceased, but I don't want back. I went back to my hometown the few years ago. Just ask around if anybody knew him and I didn't find it. Mother knew him and always regretted that I didn't go back later as we were at the bus stop. You just kind of avoided that the bus stop every day you could go back and must stand but I did anyway. God knows what happened to him and I know what happened to me that, but it is a regret that I have. We had a lot of conversations in the years that the first time I've ever heard that told you know what there's something real there. There's there's regret. There's this spiritual longing. There's all the intervening years between that point in this and my guess is that something our guests will say today. Will's will strike something in your own heart.

Along these lines. I'm really looking forward to talking with Dr. Heather Holloman and Ashley Holloman.

We talk with Heather before on the program. She's a speaker or writer faculty member of Penn State's English department, Ashley. Her husband serves as the national director of Cruz graduate student ministry. He completed a Masters in chemistry if University of Michigan and then join crew staff to minister locally to grad students first at the University of Michigan. Then at Penn State. He and Heather have two daughters, Sarah and Kate and you can find out more about them and our featured resource@ 5lovelanguages.com.

We talked about the books sent living a life that invites others to Jesus and Ashley welcome to Building Relationships.

It said your program. Thank you so much for the joy. Since this is a program of relationships.

Let's start with how you two guys met and fell in love or torture love story. While I love our love story because the Lord sent me to that bitter cold University of Michigan to get my PhD and I thought I am never going to find a southern gentleman. I have been hoping for University of Michigan the Lloyd Collins Ashley Holloman to get his PhD fountain or he was he was entering into a Masters in EC program. He came from North Carolina said the Lord brought the South to Michigan and I love story really began and we were seeking the Lord we were established and strong in our faith that we knew we wanted to shape our right all live according to the Bible that we were really young in our faith.

Or at least I wasn't selegiline's on ministry campus Crusade for Christ, which is now crew and ground seat and I started reading the Bible and learning about how to share my faith in here comes this handsome graduate student in chemistry joined the ministry office started getting excited about his lot with the Lord and we just found a great purpose together. Even back in 90 years we just were really excited to see the Lord Jesus and the lives of others that we quickly fell in love. We got married.

I finished my PhD and Ash went on to get. He finished his masters and then joined the ministry of krill on and the rest is history with a married 20 years. Well, what's your story Ashley to be completely honest, I had never dated before and so this is kind of a really big deal going home Christmas after my first year in grad school is a cloud, there's this girl here tonight really good friends like her a lot.

This is kind of how this works, but does God's, took it from there and he really molded our lives together. The couple that was mentoring us at that time was like walking down the road which got hands holding her hand and continuing to walk down the same road together and got really said that he really built a life for us together, which grateful for, then a fine with you because I live in North Carolina Winston-Salem cordage agreement outside of Raleigh small town called Fuquay Marina went to school in North Carolina. Particle always a Tar Heel. All right that's exciting how important was it for the two of you to be united in your face Ashley yet was incredibly important it was and is the foundation of her marriage established values about marriage and family. It shapes the risks we take the cost we count the opportunities we say yes to the opportunities we say no to faith in Christ gave us the same purpose for marriage and family, and it and he crisis promise to one another like nothing or no one else ever has, let's talk about the book you written together. What is it mean to live aslant life while we were so excited to write this back because that this idea of living sent life means that you fully embrace this overlooked type in Scripture that Jesus is sending the number one way that Jesus describes the father in the bucket chime is the father he sent to me like corridor Jesus's identity about the time we get to John 2021 when Jesus says, as the father has sent me, so I sent you got shells.

I got so excited to think or to QI and that's a Christ follower's is really about what it means to it to live your life according to the principles of the sent life and it's this practical way of living every day with this adventure and intimacy with Jesus because he sending you to seek and save the last word you say to the person who says that they don't have the gift of evangelism is what people have said that to me through the letter still have the gift of the venturesome Jim Daly of the sent life absolutely is a first for thought. Tell them I understand because I too don't have the gift of evangelism really believe hundred dollars but but I don't, but I've seen God use me graciously use me in the lives of several, many people and tell them they can still have an incredibly satisfying joyful fruitful life of seeing God use them to help others come to Jesus. They can absolutely live a life because doing so has everything to do with who God is God's call to be. We share a story in the book about me shoveling snow with Ari are trying to shovel snow in starter Kate rather Kate trying to shovel snow with me. I love the shovel snow shovel efficiently and effectively, and one day many years ago. Kate, our youngest walked out.

She's for imagine Ralphie's brother from a Christmas story she can leave barely move she sees is that I want to help you shovel snow in the first thought I have, to my great regret is. She's just slightly down and I said okay just go back inside. I gotta finish this and she drops the shovel and slumped shoulders and walks back inside and immediately I just felt God's spirit, heart's idea of ashes you ever just imagine that.

Maybe she just wanted to spend time with you and as I was, struggling with this.

A few years ago with why this idea of not having the gift of evangelism. God brought the story out the nose job. Are you bringing this up. That was painful but now, and he said you know Ash when I thought about Tom reaching the grassroots. The world and perhaps using crew to be a part of that and you give direction to that.

I never really needed you to do that and I'm pretty sure you cost me more time and more work you being a part of it, but I thought back when I thought about doing this. I think it be really cool to do that with Ashley. I think it really enjoyed doing that with me and said his concern is not about my greatness or your greatness about the greatness of God about the kindness of God would say I want to do this with you because I think it would be really great would begin the program by my sharing with you my fear of acknowledging I was a Christian to a senior in high school when I was only in the fifth grade, but there's a lot of people at different ages who really have a fear of sharing Christ with other people get past the fear while someone who regularly shares my faith in 19 think I have sort of a supernatural classic gift of evangelism and that means that my natural like when I go out into the data. Naturally, it's just part of the one I reach out to people.

My first question as I get any situations in my mind is Texas person Jesus and how can I help and no hand, whereas say it's more that act as I responding the Holy Spirit, knowing he sending us out like trusting God to you sent that fear is usually a fear of rejection and right to fear that maybe you won't know what to say sweetie get over that is to realize this is just a joyful adventure with Jesus.

He's doing all the work you're just cooperating with the money until right on our campus crusade famously said success in evangelism and sharing your faith in the power the Holy Spirit and leaving the results to God's word and I just think you know it's not my responsibility to see that there is. God is doing all the work. My job is to just joyfully enter into the lives of others. So what I love about our plot is it's really practical. We talk about how to ask really good questions how to use your best resource which is your own story transformation and sent just began sharing your life with people and there's no fear because if someone says to me. For example if I ask a hard question I can't answer my favorite response as I don't know. I have no idea, do you want to read the Bible with me and we can figure it out together. I don't know how to answer your question, let me find you someone who can said there's no fear and there's no reason to feel like you can leave your house and expectation that God sending you see when powerful ways.

This is your life intersects the unbelievers that he's putting the past. So instead of fear with a joyful expectation is more than insurance. That's why Millie was so excited to invite him to write this alongside with me because as an extrovert, you know, I can walk into a room and asked as I could meet a rock experience and I love hearing the way he doesn't have a fear but it is more of a step of obedience when he sat like that for you.

Yeah, sure, sure, let's talk about the introvert because your there are people who get sweaty palms you just leave and hear the word evangelism.

So it was a really good Canon introvert income could begin to feel comfortable sharing their faith. Absolutely. As Heather said, I'm an introvert and so had to look learn this for several years, but I think sweaty palms come from thinking that you have to be a doctor but perhaps for example, you think you have to always speak on the spot or you may have to talk to everyone all at once to use a biblical metaphor, you may be thinking you have to put.

You may have to be David putting on Saul's armor just goes really uncomfortable in and out of place, not how your shaped and instead introvert, some qualities have abilities that help make them perfect for sharing Christ a natural way that introverts tend to be really good listeners. They tend to like her pretty good at focusing on one person at a time. Plus, I don't overwhelm her introvert friends like her extrovert brothers and sisters in Christ, may make time to do it like having ongoing long-term conversations and return conversations which is exactly what sharing Christ a natural way, often often involves some introvert or extrovert.

We can all learn to share our faith. Yes, in the book you talk about three core principles of Ascent life.

Describe the three principles while I love these three principles because what happened was Ash and I were hissing a group of graduate students and some faculty in our living room several years ago and they said you've got last, why, why do you live your life the way you do. How do we live like this and you know I looked at as he looked at me and you know what the three core principles. The reason why we start the day and be be be think about evangelism we get excited about my faith because we had three things in here they are. We get really excited about it because it's a way to shape your whole life. The first is that God is always at work to draw people to himself, you know whether or not you perceive him. We know from John five Jesus as my father is always at his work to this very day and I too am working and the work that Jesus is doing me know. In Luke 19 became to seek and save the lost and so that principle that God is at work safe. If you think about family members or friends where you feel like it's a hopeless situation.

Just remember the father is always at work. The second principle is, for whatever reason God chooses tease people to lead others to Jesus. I remember exactly where I was in the student union at the University of Michigan. When I read acts 18 in front of Wendy's and it's where we learned, you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses. Malik said anything it could a secular state power and will be in a better worshipers are guilty.

This will be my witnesses so I began to just collect passages of Scripture that indicate God will use people to lead others to Jesus. Second Corinthians we know he's given us the ministry of reconciliation.

You know, we know from Scripture that he chose us in appointing a superfreak for the second principle is easy using others to lead others to Jesus and then the last principle that just shapes our life. Everything we do ask that God is inviting us continually into the work of evangelism and I live just thinking afresh about the great commission because Jesus has, you know, go and make disciples and teach them everything needed to obey everything That Jesus came to seek and save the last.

He invites us to join with himself. We tell a lot of just stories and about what it means to wake up in the morning and shape your life according to this principle, God's at work.

He uses people to lead others to Jesus. He is inviting you into this work with him so we put those three things on 3 x 5 card practical and just read them every morning, probably a good place to start right because the Lord actually used a really powerful story because I don't know about you but I've got people in my life where I think I just don't sense you working here, but I want to let myself life and I was trying to get him from his speaking event actually in North Carolina only NS I was so homesick I was ready to get home. I go to check into my flight and I'm anxious I'm home sick, and the United ticket agent says your flight has been canceled and I visited this is what the Holy Spirit that I have to get on the phone with this ticket agent I'm crying and said I'm trying to be spirit felt and I said I don't understand. United canceled my flight and this is what the ticket agent said, and this is what the Holy Spirit used to remind me of my life. The ticket agent said you need to stand along you're not going to hear anything, but I am here I am working and I am making this right was silence on the sun and everything I would say are you still there. Are you still working in the ticket agent would say I am here I am working you're not here anything I making this right and every morning I wake up and I think as the people in my life. Don't know Handley you know what we talk about listing the names of five people in your natural pathways Jesus and I remember that United to write down the names of people who don't know Jesus in my life and I think I get your working. I may not receive you, but you are at work.

Don't know about limiting the five names writing down five names of people that you know do not know Christ and begin praying for them on a regular basis. How does that fit into the whole plan of God's great?

The first thing that it does is it does help you take inventory good way of of those folks around you who are around you who is God sent you to that place. You not to just help you start to begin to think do I see them the way God sees them, see them as people dearly loved by God and created by God created for relationship with him and it also may help you take a tour. The sense of what do I know five people who don't know Christ. That is about to come up with five maybe that prompt discipleship should that change, and how would that change. How can I get closer to those who don't yet know Jesus forcing the dots for us this helps us to take an inventory of what God is doing and worries of working where he is inviting us to be a part of it and the second thing goes along with that is just remind you this is something were doing with God. And so the first thing I do is ask God, who are those five people in the season of my life who who are you wanted to use me to help draw them to you. Who are we sent on mission together with and another thing he does his heart grows for them so many times you when you pray for folks heart can only grow for them and it grows my heart for them and the desire for them to be blessed, thrive and flourish. The desire for them to know the one who created them, gave his life for them. Who wants to be with them forever. And then as I go thought my day is in praying for these five people it makes you more sensitive to opportunities to talk with them about Christ.

When I'm with them I just thinking about it because God is continuing to put on my mind throughout the days. I pray for them and perhaps the biggest thing that it does for us is that we really believe that prayer works but God hears the words of the saints of the moves on their and that there's power in prayer and that as we pray and ask God to move the lives of those dear to us. He does so really cool supernatural reckless things happen. So what are we praying for praying for a non-Christian hook when we ask God. While this is a fun part of writing aspect because I found seven ways in Scripture that we see modeled for us about how we can pray for unbelievers and the southern are really beautiful.

So when I write down my my five people. The first thing is, I asked that God would send in a spirit of revelation to know that's Paul in Ephesians. I love praying for my students. Psalm 110, 119, where the priest says that their eyes would be turned from worthless things to do things that they're pursuing suddenly don't seem that exciting. I've had many times I pray that any student will come and say I want I want to know God and and I thought I love my sin more but now I really I'm trying to God you know can you help me you cannot pray from second Timothy, ask God to help them come to their senses.

One supernatural thing recently from Matthew nine.

You can ask God to send others to help and I prayed that prayer for 25 years for a couple who wasn't walking with the Lord and I just think I'm far from then can you send another Christian couple. God answered that prayer and 25 years later.couple three dedicated their lives to the Lord started going back to church and the good news is that they were my parents believe that the last three prayers are so powerful and I think it really reflects Paul's heart Colossians for he praise God open door for the message of the gospel. You know so many times I'll be standing with someone and I now say I want to start talking about spiritual things Jesus that you open a door here first for me to talk about you, and you can also pray that the gospel spreads quickly but the last prayer is really wonderful because it overlooks part of Scripture it's from Ephesians 6 where normally people associate that with the spiritual warfare prayer Sheena the armor of God, but it's one of the only times in Scripture when it three times where Paul asks for personal prayer and so he says in Ephesians 618. Pray for me that whenever I open my mouth the words would be given to me so I may fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.

Pray that I may proclaim it clearly as I shed so you can pray for yourself what Paul prayed help me speak clearly give me the boldness, which makes me think Paul was also afraid and nervous of his words. So those are the seven ways to pray and are listed in our book and their ways you can begin praying for the five people God has put in. We call it your natural pathway, meaning wheat we firmly believe that God has chosen the exact place where you live and work. We know that God formed the hearts of all and considers everything they did not. Psalm 33 that we know they got to work around you.

So who are those five people and you can begin praying for them do not think anyone is listening is really appearing as a heart for God, and really would like to grow in their ability to share with others. Those seven things that you just mentioned would be worth the price of this book goes. Most people are there not that not that focus in terms of what they're asking God for that. That's extremely helpful. Heather Ashley I got a question for you for the person who's listening and they believe in God, the church is okay you read some of the Bible. Most of the makes sense to them. But the overarching feeling that they get from their Christian friend is not that all my friend really loves me and cares for me, it's that I'm a notch on their spiritual belt.

I'm on my name on their card and their praying in there looking for the right place to sing me with some apologetics or to send me a video word.

Give me a book or whatever, how, how what you say to the believer who has a friend who feels like I'm just a project to these Christians of just something that's in there was someone who's in their life that they need to change in order for them to love what he said about that. That's a really really good question and a really good one to ask people deftly feel that from time to time I would encourage the believer, the person who's friends told the author feels that way maybe they don't know that for product I would say just kind of process, check how are your conversations going.

How your relationship your friendships going to select the project before you have to sell them something. When you're when you're talking to them and maybe alongside that I would just really encourage them.

We aren't selling something that were really cooperating before the Lord is doing in a person's life and it really is good news. It really is something a person would want if they understood it and can we help that person have a role series of real conversations. We really understand who God is, who they are what God is done for them what God wants to do for them. Just journey a spiritual journey with them and believe that God is at work believe that they don't have to push at don't have to shove it, don't have to sell it, but they're just cooperating with the God of the universe. The hound of heaven who is pursuing their friend and consider themselves how would they want to be pursued by God if they were in their friend shoes.

What would it feel like for them and just really encouraged him to look at the heart with motivations into if needed just a really good helpful conversation with a friend about how that's going to do that myself. I got a dear friend who is we been talking about Christ for since we moved here 12 years ago is my best friend in the neighborhood in State College. We've had to have comedies, process checks along the way. He doesn't share my beliefs, but he knows because it but never talk about it and process it that I just want what God wants for them and I love them dearly. If you never received Christ was life the best of friends. Regardless, I love when Ash talks about the process check because when I was beginning to share my faith with the neighbors I had started this walk to school campaign and I went share walking to school I went drinking coffee you are having a good time getting our kids to school and I would just start talk about things that the Lord is teaching in Scripture and I turned to the woman beside me who I knew had converted to a Hindu faith tradition and I just sheet she is my was my best and I said doesn't bother you that I talked to you so much about Jesus.

I just does this bother you, and she turned to me and I will never forget the look in her eyes, and I get tears thinking about it. She said no. I would like to hear everything you have to say about him. She just was hungry, and not only did she pray to receive Christ when she understood the gospel she let her husband and two children to the Lord and she has an active ministry right now on our campus is always exciting when you see the workbook in the situation. There was however a barn study that revealed back in 2019, 47% of Christians believe it was wrong. Share your faith, and particularly those seem to be among millennial's what what you think that would be true among those who see themselves as Christians. You know, the honest answer for me is I don't really know. I don't know why that is, it befuddles me the Scripture seems to be clear that the greatest things happening in the world is that God is stronger people to himself that people are lost. Apart from him that the gospel really is good news prompted by God's love for people and for those whom he created and it seems we were talking about in this book as part of our core identity as a believer to trust God to be part of what he's doing lives of people, good things in the lives of people so it seems like the Scripture is clear that it is not wrong.

In fact, it is fundamentally a good thing so it might be. I'm just hazarding a guess, year, but it might be less biblical literacy currently them. There has been in the past and it may be that some have allowed the world, its beliefs or values to shape your thinking more than Scripture in this area may also be the other thing that may just be bad experiences. It may be ways it was done. Not the best. Maybe the waves were not helpful are a loving and maybe conflating ways that others of share their faith with during the faith of all, you would think of a person really has a close walk with God and there in the Scriptures would be hard to feel that we shouldn't sure share the good news. You know, as owners of the whole coded situation impacted sharing the gospel will for me extroverted gather in the family. I was really difficult. I thought, okay, we we really can't figure out a way to gather people to care for our neighbors and so we've done some things online lead. We had that stupid story night at least a host on Monday nights to gather the neighbors together for. See you then we would share stories that we had to move back to his Zoom call one night and socially distant fire pits or bacon in Pennsylvania you know you have a fire in your backyard and people can gather around to. We've done walking but you know the hardest thing was just figuring out how to unite with people so Ash walked up and down the neighborhood and stood outside people's houses and immediately got their contact information just so we can have a Group St., Facebook group for any duties you know one thing, but for me I find done a lot of texting strategies. I guess you would call them where I just text my five people and I'll ask them how I can care for them that one of the women that I just love and pray for. I text her and I said this is really hard.

What were going through. How are you doing. Is there anyway I can pray for you and and when I was about living his life is no one in 25 years of ministry has ever said to me no I don't want you to pray for me not want so I love praying for people a lot of people know I keep a detailed prayer journal and my students will even say you know Dr. H you know I'm an atheist could you put me in a prayer journal.

They now know that my strategies and and I love it because is so great because he is an introvert and so he's he's a really good at letting me plan things that don't exhaust everyone that we do different things like that. I don't know if Ash had anything to add, but mostly just thinking of ways we can tax into online on Zoom call center being outside as much as we can do in a Safeway tech continued and gather with people. There are people who say even if COBIT were not around the little have time to get together with other people on a regular basis, and thus build friendships where they can share the gospel. Eventually you go to push back on the cover thinking while I was one of those people is ago Heather was is that she is she's a community organizer and she had an idea.

This is probably 10 years ago she noticed that you know that when we grew up you have dinner in the summer is over, you're out the door. You note is restored light in time to play and I will look around and no one's outside and so she goes with all the kids were all the parents as her she just started calling randomly randomly. She had a list of people she was, my name is Holloman.

You don't know me but in our front yard to play. Would you like to come and they came in the first night it was 15 people. Two years later we had regularly weekly.

We had 50 people had to move it to a parking lot to do it is a really cool thing, but at the very beginning. As Heather was sharing this idea with me. I was like no note, I'm exhausted.

I got this going on that but I can imagine adding one more thing, but this is where the powerboats barely comes in really felt restrained by the spirit like just let Heather leave this. Trust me on this. Take a step of faith and let's see what happens. I'm so glad I did. God was to write. Heather was right, and it became an incredible time of us really reaching out for neighbors couple quick things practically learned along the way. Besides just taking steps of faith and trust in God with the time is do things with people, not just for people.

People want time with you on not just service for the mother that is good.

As we try to focus on what are the different things we can do with them.

In particular, what can we invite them to that we are already doing so. What is not a new event, but something were to do as we always have sent sorry my pancakes for years as a family and so was about what's invite others to join us as we by the neighbors. Several neighbors over for pancakes. They came in a few weeks later, we started the best in Bible study on it was anything new. We were already doing it to survive.

The man like one. Likewise, join your friends and what they're already doing because your questions are the only ones are busy they helpful lives as well.

And so what are they doing that you can join in on that helps build a relationship time just to connect and talk to me. We have neighbors that love the outdoors. They love to hike, so Ash and I quickly learned to become an outdoor people and for if you're interested, you know that that pancake time where you just gather people.

I was really nervous how we will transition across Paulino gospel conversations, and when Ash asked everyone if they wanted to starting a test to get a Bible study in the book of John to learn about Jesus the most hostile neighbor, the one that I thought would just be so offended she turned to ash and she said I had been waiting for an invitation like that. So read the book of John together and so you just wait and see what happens when you start taking his faith producer in the book that you wish all followers of Christ would more fully develop the character trait of curiosity, how does that play into evangelism. Oh, that's right, you know, I teach professional development at Penn State and I think that interpersonal curiosity which means that interest you taken other people is one of last professional skills for anyone. What I realized is being curious about other people, you know, there are lead researchers on researching curiosity and its connection to well-being, but when you're curious about people you train yourself to really be interested in them. It's a way to enact the truth of Romans 12 where Paul says to honor one another above yourselves or think about flipping stew where we learn in verse four.

Don't look out to you for your own interests, but taking interest in others and to make it this fundamental part of your life, not only because it is perfect for evangelism but it really there's a lot of research that says that when you're curious about other people. It makes you it makes your relationships better, you're less stressful in your last angry and it's a wonderful way to lead.

Now I know many of you probably have been out to a coffee or lunch with someone and you're asking all the questions and nobody asks you one question about your life.

Any my students tell me that all the time, date, they don't nobody asks about that.

They don't ever get to share their life side of a lot of training in how to ask really good questions and I'll share my favorite one with you.

This is been teaching 25 years and I keep a list of my 70 favorite questions asked people that when you're trying to get to know someone or maybe it's one of the five people on your list.

I love asking people this question and I think it will change your your relationships, your marriage even your relationship with her children just trying to them and say what question do you wish I would ask you about yourself.

It is best question to get to know people. So, interpersonal curiosity you you want to bless people you want to honor them about their cells and leads to gospel conversations like my I have four questions I always ask that make evangelism so easy when you're with friends. You can just say you know you know I'm a Christian.

I'm curious, what is your tradition say about Jesus, we share in the book that single question led someone on a journey of discovery and she prayed to receive Christ from that question, allowing.

I also love naturally asking people you know I'm just really curious, do you consider yourself on a spiritual journey, what, what's that like for you and then they'll say what about you and your children any we provide a lot of good easy questions that that lead to gospel conversations that there also just joyful questions that bless other people so my dream for people with would be that they would develop that just as it did professional skill and it's also really good marriage and friendships that it will lead to natural spiritual conversations. Those questions are great ones you have in the book there a Flickr listers we really hurt tuning into this and say this is a very worldly need to grow from this book is your sphere with practical things would you do share is so practical in terms of how to open up conversations that otherwise would not would not even turn to Christ, Gary this mirrors what you've been talking about for years with "The 5 Love Languages" that some people could say will manipulating someone with your question. You just asking something about them and you're moving into their life, which is what you've talked about for use with "The 5 Love Languages" , you may not come natural to you but you reach out with physical touch or with spending time together with the other person you see that same thing at work.

You think so, but good as you get to know the person you can you do discover that we love them.

As Christians we love people, which means we look out for their best interest in the truck were sharing Christ with them as we get to know them but we learn what their love languages. What makes them feel loved and that I think is an asset because everybody needs to feel loved when we want to feel loved and so I think that's a little part of another question comes to mind is because I heard so many people talk about their subscriptions when the begin to think seriously about evangelism, you always have to quote Scripture to people are where does that come in and in the process of helping someone come to Christ while I'm really passionate about this because I have found that God's word is so powerful. We know it's a living and active word of God.

We also know that like Romans 10 tells us faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God. And I also just look at the passage of Scripture where it's the word that the Holy Spirit uses demeanors metaphors in Scripture. One of them is a farmer you know going out and spelling the word. So I think what happens is when I'm talking to people about Jesus.

One of my favorite things to say, as I just learned something really powerful in Scripture that's helping me deal with whatever it is. See no anxiety or fear, and share the passage of Scripture and I wait to see what God's Spirit does with that I was in my office with 22 professors who do not know the Lord and one of them is an atheist and she likes to remind me that she's an atheist and I came in one day and I said I just read a passage of Scripture that's really helping me deal with fear and it's where where we were where we read that God has not given us a spirit of fear, and I she turned around and she said a spirit of fear.

She said I think I have to. How do I get rid of that. Where is that and I can just see God's word was was working in her.

So I think when you read the Bible. It's not an ordinary book, the words have power. Think about what Jeremiah how he describes the word the Lord says is not my word like fire and hammer that breaks the rock in pieces and I think of the rock is a hard soul settled. I love it. I mean Ashley is always saying I have a special gift of just memorizing God's word but I do. I do put it in memory so I can use it naturally and conversation. I favorite passages that I love to share wherever I go like to talk about what the Scripture means to you. You're not preaching to the room or do sharing work quoted speaking to you like that's it's hard to see that is ever being offensive.

You know when you're sharing something that you read in Scripture that's helping you in your life. And then God uses that you're right, powerful, yet allows it really allows that person into your life as well so it makes it truly a two way relationship like you know it shapes it shapes my devotional life. Sit down. Now I'm doing this more than I used to, but I thought maybe this is just me and you. But maybe these next few minutes part just for me. Maybe it's for someone else because you want to show me something that I can share with someone else how you're working in my life got its I think it's a way of allowing other people into our lives, which we should do asking them to allow us into their lives for our time is running out here but as we come to the end of the program.

What else would you want to say to people who are thinking about this in this life and realizing they need to be moving in this direction. What encouragement would you give them why would say first that if you don't know if you don't feel close to Jesus. When I live my sent life.

I feel that sense of intimacy and joy with hand with Jesus all day long. It helps me worship him and really experience life as a supernatural attacher so I'm highly motivated by you know joy and peace and happiness, and it's just increased as I surrendered more and more to the Lord.

So that's my motivation is that joint tenancy with Jesus. I'd say there is adventure with Jesus. There is growth but is also hard to be honest or spiritual battle.

Others cost account always the right. I think the thing that motivates me the most is that God is inviting us into the something that's really incredible when when time is done.

Final histories are being written on this side of heaven.

I think pretty confident that the single most important greatest thing that historians will record that happened over the course of human history is that God was faithful to his word to draw people to himself.

He did what he said he would do the greatest was happening. We got a lot of great things of people but none of the comparison of the greatest thing that's happening is that God is stronger people to himself and he invites us into that work with him to get on the other side of heaven.

That joy and purpose from us more is the presence of Jesus himself. This conversation is been very challenging and I trust that our listeners will get this book because of just filled with practical ideas on how to be the person you really want to booty if you're a follower of Christ, and that is an instrument in God's plan for bringing other people into fellowship with him, so thanks for being with us to thinking it was such an honor to be on your program so much what I've received from this conversation stay is a sense that we can rest and submit to God. We really can rely on his power to work in and through us in the lives of those terrible and if you want to find out more about the sent life and how to live it. Check out Heather and Ashley Holloman's book sent living a life that invites others to Jesus to find out more. Five love languages.com five love languages.com and next week it's one of the hardest things we do. God uses to deepen our spiritual walk with you have to wait for it listen next week is her summer best of series. I thanked her and Janice Todd. Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman's production of many radio Chicago in association with Moody publishers on ministry Bible Institute thanks really


Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime