Welcome to Breakpoint, a daily look at an ever-changing culture through the lens of unchanging truth. For the Colson Center, I'm John Stone Street. Recently, the New York Post reported on the rise of digital detox camps where worried parents hire experts at up to $8,000 a session. to help their children be less addicted to their screens.
Now the kids hate it. As one founder described in a related WIRE article, campers experience actual withdrawal symptoms.
Some stash extra phones in their backpacks. Others even run away to avoid being separated from their devices. The popularity of these detox camps relates curiously to another emerging trend, kid concierge services. Parents pay hundreds of dollars for so-called professionals to teach their children how to organize their backpacks, how to throw a ball, how to ride a bike. Apparently, the new gig economy includes gig parenting.
Now, of course, there are many instances in which professionals are needed for overwhelmed parents, and many students need serious help with screen addiction. Still, at least in general, shouldn't parents be the ones who are saying no to unlimited screens? Shouldn't they be doing the hard work of training their kids to perform the everyday mundane tasks of life? Saying no to kids, throwing a ball with them, limiting video games until their room is clean. These are all normal and natural responsibilities of being a parent.
Are more parents convinced they can't do these things? Even worse, are they now sure that they shouldn't have to do such things? Part of the answer here lies in what Thomas Aquinas described as the order of loves. God created us to love Him and to love others. Our highest love and loyalty are intended for God Himself, followed by those closest to us, especially kids and family, and then neighbors, and then the wider world.
This order reflects how God created the world, how he intended his image-bearers to inhabit it. how we order or, after the fall, disorder our loves. Lies at the root of what we value and how we live. Cultures either cultivate order or disorder. Ours normalizes, expending energy and affections on activities and things that have little to do with God.
But are instead centered on self. This ordering reshapes, or rather misshapes, our values. Thus, we're told to value family as long as we don't find them too toxic. We should have kids, if we want them, and always on our own terms. See, the priority here is always self.
If we feel too tired or overwhelmed to offer correction or instruction, why shouldn't we outsource the most annoying parts of parenting to someone else?
Now, a similar extreme can be seen in what's often called lawnmowing parenting. Lawnmower parents prioritize the comfort and ease of their kids over and above everything else, including moral formation or the love of others. Thus, their primary work as parents is to remove any and all obstacles.
Well, recently, Resume Survey asked 830 Gen Z adults who work full time just how involved their parents are in their jobs. The results are a shocking example of the fruits of disordered loves. 77% of those surveyed had brought a parent to a job interview. fifty three percent had a parent speak with a hiring manager on their behalf. Forty five percent regularly have one of their parents talk with their current manager.
And a whopping seventy three percent have had their parents help complete a work assignment. If concierge parents are too hands off, lawnmower parents continue to over-parent, even adult children.
Now, of course, at one level, history is really the story of humans thwarting or attempting to thwart God's created order. Stalinist, Maoist, Nazi societies, for example, all encouraged their children to disobey their parents and to prioritize the state over the family. Parental authority was seen as being in service to the state. How parents were marginalized in those cultures is not completely unlike ours, such as when children are socially transitioned by school officials without parental knowledge, much less consent. When you add in the forces of social media, then kids are easily swept into radical social ideas and separated from their parents even if they're just upstairs.
God gave children to parents. He gave parents authority over children. When all this is done faithfully and well, then packing a bagged lunch for a 25-year-old, or worse yet, for the twenty-five year old's boss, should be quite a rare occasion. Though it can feel overwhelming, Scripture does contain what parents need to know. To love, to discipline, to order our lives with and around our children.
In that order, parents are first and non-negotiable. And the goal of parenting is adults who are well ordered themselves and ready to bring up the next generation. For the Colson Center, I'm John Stone Street with Breakpoint. Today's Breakpoint was co-authored by Haley Wilson. If you're a fan of Breakpoint, leave us a review wherever you download your podcast.
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