Questions and Answers on Church Discipline

In light of the business meeting that will follow the preaching time, I thought it would be appropriate for us to revisit Matthew chapter 18 and consider the instructions Christ gives the church concerning disciplinary matters.

And that's why we're here in Matthew chapter 18. But I'd like to begin by asking this question for each of us. On a scale of 1 to 10, how vigilant are you in your ongoing battle with sin? How vigilant are you? Is it something you've just come to live with and realize, well, you know what, sin's going to be with me until I breathe my last breath on this earth and I will fully be done with it when God calls me away and I'll be glorified.

That's a dangerous posture to take. We are to be engaged in holy warfare against the corruption of our indwelling sin that still remains with us. So we ought to be vigilant. If we're unconcerned about sin that remains in us, that is a serious matter, speaks to a deeper problem. But let's take the issue of concern over sin a step further. Does God hold you and I responsible to fight against sin in the lives of others? Do we have a responsibility to others in the household of faith? Are you in some way accountable to God for the sin of others in the body of Christ, in this local assembly? Perhaps to put it another way, ask this question. Am I my brother's keeper?

And the answer to that question is absolutely. We have a biblical responsibility to lovingly confront sin in our brother's life. It's not something we look forward to, it's something that challenges us, but it is something that is absolutely essential if we're going to be obedient to the instructions of Christ. Now the primary concerns that Jesus Christ has for His body are, number one, its purity, and number two, its unity. And neither can exist where the process of Matthew 18 is not practiced. The obstacles to purity and unity are sin and conflict, and those maladies cannot be cured without the medicine of loving biblical confrontation. Jay Adams coined a term for churches that refused to practice church discipline. He says we should declare them, quote, no church at all.

It's one of the marks of a biblical church, churches that practice church discipline. These are the instructions our Lord has given, and we cannot take a cafeteria-style approach to the Scriptures and pick and choose what we like and what we don't like. As difficult and unpleasant as it is, we must be obedient to the instructions that have been given to us. So once you become convinced that you have a responsibility enjoined upon you by God to confront your brother or your sister in love concerning sin in their life, there are a myriad of questions that should arise in your mind that cry for an answer. So tonight I want to raise five questions and try and answer them to try and help us get some clarity about what we are being commanded concerning here.

Let me give you those five questions, and then we'll just walk through them. Number one, whose responsibility is it to lovingly confront? Number two, whom should we confront? Number three, what sins should we confront? Number four, how should we confront? And lastly, why should we confront? Whose responsibility is it to lovingly confront? Matthew 18 verse 15 says, Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. So the Lord is telling us in this passage that the solution to sin and conflict in the body is confrontation that increases to whatever level is necessary to bring the offending brother or sister to repentance.

Let me say that again. The solution to sin and conflict in the body is confrontation that increases to whatever level is necessary to bring the offending brother or sister to repentance. And as you walk through this passage, it begins in verse 15 with one on one. You know your brother has sinned. He sinned against you. He's committed to sin.

You become aware of it. You have a responsibility to go to him. And if he hears you, that's more than just gives you a hearing, listens to what you have to say. Hearing implies cooperation, agreement, acknowledgement, confession, and repentance. Those things are tied up in if he hears you. Well, what happens if he won't hear you? If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you've gained your brother. But if he will not hear you, take with you one or two more that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.

But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. So what happens is it begins one on one, small. And we trust it stays there. That brother or that sister sees the validity of what you're saying, agree with you, acknowledge their sin, confess it, repent of it, and the matter is over. But what happens when the brother or sister will not hear you? Well, then it opens up. Two or three go and confront lovingly the brother or sister with the hope that they will get a hearing. But if not, then you take it to the church.

So it just keeps opening up broader and broader. And when it's brought to the church and the church brings pressure to bear on that brother or sister and they refuse there, then they're set out into the world. That's the instructions that Christ gives his church. So what is it at every point in the process that moves discipline onto the next stage and ultimately to the final act of excommunication? And it simply is the failure to hear. The failure to hear. And again, that word here means cooperation, acknowledgement, agreement, confession, and repentance, and all that brings about restoration. Verse 17, if he refuses to hear them, that is one or two that have gone to him, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. This ongoing unwillingness to hear reveals a stubborn unwillingness to deal with sin.

Confrontation increases in scope and intensity as long as the offender persists an unrepentance. It's the means that God has given the church to rescue and to bring that brother or sister to repentance. Now, every situation is different. It's not necessary in every case to follow all of these steps in that order that are given. That's the prescribed way, but there are examples in the New Testament where that pattern is not followed and it's the direction that God has given. First Corinthians chapter 5 is one of those examples. Paul's writing to the church in Corinth and he says, It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles that a man has his father's wife.

And you are puffed up and have not rather mourned that he who has done this deed might be taken away from among you. And because of the public nature of it and the scandalous nature of it, it was publicly known. Paul had heard about it. There wasn't one person had to go and two people had to go and then the church.

Step one and step two were bypassed because of the public nature and the scandalous nature of the sin. So let's deal with these questions. Whose responsibility is it to lovingly confront? It's the elders.

Yes, it's the deacons. Yes, it's all of our responsibility. Listen to what Paul said to the church in Galatia. Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself, lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.

For if anyone thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.

Here's instructions that Paul gives to the church in Galatia. You who are spiritual, restore such a one in the spirit of gentleness. And again, that you who are spiritual is not you who are the spiritual leaders, but the contrast is between being a spiritual man and a natural man. You who are spiritual, you who are born again, you who have the grace of God living in you, you have a responsibility. And it's further reinforced because it follows the next verse, one of the one another commandments, bear one another's burdens. This is one of the responsibilities that we have to one another in the body of Christ.

This is how we fulfill the law of Christ. So whose responsibility is it to lovingly confront? It's all of ours.

It's all of ours. We have a responsibility. He uses the first person singular pronoun to indicate that each member of the church is responsible to be involved in the resolution of sin and conflict in the body. Each member of the body has a personal responsibility when he or she knows about a problem in the church and that responsibility is to become a part of the solution.

Question number two, whom should we confront? Well, it says, if your brother, if your brother, a brother is a family term, refers to another member of our spiritual family. Those who are not members of the church are outside the parameters of these instructions. But those who are members of this body, those who are brothers and sisters in Christ, local members of a church, that's who falls into this category.

Whom should we confront? A brother. That word brother implies someone who professes to be a Christian and identifies himself or herself with the local church.

This is not instructions for those who are in the world. Paul makes that clear in 1 Corinthians 5 verses 9 through 11. I won't turn there, but you can read that there. So whom should we confront? Those who are part of the assembly, the family, the local church, brothers and sisters in Christ. What sins should we confront? What sins should we confront?

Notice verse 15. Moreover, if your brother sins against you, sins against you, that Greek word, harmatus, general term used for any kind of sin, any kind of sin. The Bible does not distinguish between serious sins which are open to confrontation and minor sins which are not. We should confront our brother when he commits any action that is forbidden in scripture and cannot be overlooked. Now, what sins become church discipline sins?

Those instructions at the beginning are brother to brother, but here's instructions for the church at large. As you read through the New Testament and you begin to catalog those particular sins that fall under the category of church discipline, this is what you find. Here are New Testament examples, and there's quite a variety. Sexual immorality, idolatry, drunkenness, 1 Corinthians 5 verse 11. False teaching, Galatians 1 verse 9, 2 John 9 through 11. Covetousness, hurtful speech, cheating, 1 Corinthians 5, 11. Legalism, Galatians 2, 11 to 14. Divisiveness, Titus 3, 9 through 11. Deceit, Acts 5, 1 through 6, remember?

Ananias and Sapphira. Laziness, we've heard that dealt with in 2 Thessalonians chapter 3 verses 6 through 13. Those are the categories of sins that fall under this category. But it's important, I think, that we understand that these are sins of action.

It's only sins of action that can be confronted. We do not have the authorization to judge attitudes nor motives that is forbidden for us. We're to judge actions. We're to address those things that are forbidden in Scripture. And that's important because we're to be careful not to confront one another based on mere preference.

Based on my understanding of a Christian liberty that might not align with my brother or sister. So it's those things that are clearly forbidden in Scripture. And then it's only necessary to confront sins that cannot be overlooked. This is a bit challenging but bear with me. Proverbs 19, 11 says, A man's discretion makes him slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook a transgression.

First Peter 4 verse 8 tells us, Love covers a multitude of sins. So, how do we know whether to cover or confront in a particular situation? Well, I've wrestled with this. It's not an easy question to answer.

But for tonight, let me say this. How do we know whether to cover or confront in a particular situation? Those sins are not to be covered but are to be confronted that have harmful consequences. When things become public, when things are scandalous, when things are clearly forbidden in Scripture, we just can't ignore it. We just can't say, well, love covers it. If you were a loving church, you wouldn't be exercising church discipline. To have that attitude completely removes the instructions that Christ has given to us here in Matthew chapter 18. Next question.

How? How should we confront? And it's essential that we approach confrontation in a scriptural manner.

Because if we don't, we run the risk of complicating, exacerbating, intensifying the problem rather than solving it. So I find four biblical principles here in Matthew chapter 18 that help us with this how question. How should we confront?

Number one, quickly. We're to go and tell Him. We're to go and reprove Him. And that's in the present imperative. As you are going, as we are engaging in fellowship and interaction within the church, you remember the instructions of Christ in Matthew chapter 5.

He says, if your brother sins against you, if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go your way, first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. It speaks of quickly. Because when a problem is ignored, sin and guilt can snowball. The resolution that is needed will not happen until we go.

So we must go, and we must go quickly. And the first important step that scripture places before us, before we go to confront, is what? It's self-examination. Matthew chapter 7 verse 5 says, we're to first take the log out of our own eye, and then we'll be able to see clearly to take the speck out of our brother's eye.

So when sin is being dealt with in this way in the church, it's always appropriate, it's always healthy, it's always wise to engage in serious self-examination. We're answering the question, how should we go? We should go quickly.

We should go number two, purposefully. By telling us to go, when we know that there's a brother who has sinned, Jesus is saying that we should deliberately go to him with the intention of talking to him about the problem. Whatever's occasioned this breach, whatever has come to our attention, we have a responsibility to go, and with the intent of purposefully talking to him about the issue, whatever it is, the sin. How are we to go? We're to go verbally.

The word translated reprove there in verse 15 speaks of convincing somebody of something through words. The problem cannot be solved by simply ignoring somebody, give them the cold shoulder. No, there has to be an engagement, a discussion. You go to talk with him, to confront him, to reason with him with well-chosen words.

Those are the instructions. And then notice, he says, we're to go, tell him his fault between you and him alone. We're to go privately, privately. And again, here's the caveat to that. If the suspected sin is not a matter of public knowledge, then it should be discussed among as few people as possible. But I think here's a good principle. Confession is to be made as wide as the sin is known.

So when sin becomes public and it becomes known broadly, there's no way to keep a lid on it. There's no way to keep it private. And to and when we can keep it private, there's wisdom in that.

And what is that? Well, it's possible that there is a misunderstanding. And if it's a private thing, something that can be resolved, the reputation of that offended person can be protected. If you're offended by a brother or a sister and it's just between the two of you, there's no need for the whole church to know about it.

Telling other people about the problem before going to the person involved is essentially gossip. So, how are we to go? We're to go compassionately, we're to go gently, we're to go humbly, we're to go carefully, we're to go prayerfully. These are serious matters. And then, why? Why should we confront? Why should we confront? Well, because Scripture demands it. Love demands it.

The purity and the unity of the church demand it. The honor and testimony of Christ demand it. The restoration of your brother demands it. Verse 15, if he hears you, you have gained your brother. Well, what if you don't go?

There's a breach between you and your brother that's unresolved. There's no restoration in that relationship. That's why we go. We go for the purpose of restoration, to win our brother. That's always the goal of church discipline.

Restoration. Repentance. The goal of biblical confrontation is always restoration. You remember the case there in 1 Corinthians 5 where Paul is admonishing the church concerning their negligence in dealing with a man in sexual immorality. Well, he addresses that same situation.

They finally do deal with the man. And then, Paul, in his second letter to the church, says this to them. 2 Corinthians 2, verse 3, And I write this very thing to you, lest when I came, I should have sorrow over those from whom I ought to have joy, having confidence in you all that my joy is the joy of you all. For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears, not that you should be grieved, but you might know the love which I have so abundantly for you. But if anyone has caused grief, he has not grieved me, but all of you to some extent not to be too severe.

This punishment, which was inflicted by the majority, is sufficient for such a man. Such a man that was put out of the church. So that, on the contrary, you ought rather to forgive and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one be swallowed up with too much sorrow. Therefore, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. This man was showing evidence of repentance. And Paul was writing the church concerning their reluctance to receive this brother back. And he says, I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.

And this is what he says that I want to get to. For to this end I also wrote that I might put you to the test whether you are obedient in all things. Now, whom you forgive anything, I also forgive. For if indeed I have forgiven anything, I have forgiven that one for your sakes in the presence of Christ. Lest Satan should take advantage of us, for we are not ignorant of his devices.

Notice again what he said in verse 9. For to this end I also wrote that I might put you to the test whether you are obedient in all things. And I think this is a test of obedience. Many churches have refused to deal with church discipline, have ignored the instructions of Christ.

This is a test. Are we going to obey what God has said in his word concerning these matters? Or are we going to say, you know what, this is just, we're living in a different culture, and people will be offended, and we want to be known as a loving church, and all the rest.

I've heard all the arguments. No, we want to be known as an obedient church, even when it's hard, even when it's difficult. These are the instructions that have been given to us. You notice what that section ends with in Matthew at chapter 18. Verse 20 says, for where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them. We hear that verse quoted a lot and prayed a lot, but we need to understand that verse in the context.

What's the context? The context is church discipline. There is a promise of Christ, of his special presence, to those who are engaged in obedience to these instructions.

Where one or two go to confirm and confront, and he says it again there. Verse 18, as surely I say to you, whether you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. Again, verse 19, I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.

For where two or three are gathered together in my name, I am there in the midst of them. I don't want to miss that. There is a special promise of Christ's presence to those who obey these instructions.

I don't want to miss that. We're not going to fall out of favor with Christ by doing these things. We're going to know an affirmation of his presence by obeying these things. So, these are the instructions, and there's so much more that could be said, but I wanted to keep it a bit short tonight so that we have time to deal with the matter at hand, but I thought it important that we revisit this passage. It's been quite a while since we've had church discipline issues here, and in my recollection, I cannot remember a time where we had two situations that we were dealing with at the same time, but that is the nature of where we are as a church tonight. So, I'm thankful that we have instructions from Christ, that we're not left to ourselves.

We don't have to wonder how to do this, how to figure this out, whether to do this, whether or not to do this. Here we have instructions of Christ, the head of his church. And as much as we want the best for our church, nobody questions that Christ wants the best for his church, right?

Christ loved his church and gave himself for it. And these are the instructions he's given to us, and we're under obligation to obey them. Let's pray. Father, thank you tonight for your word. Thank you for the promise of Christ's presence, his special presence, as we deal with that which we would rather not have to deal with, but yet is necessary in a broken and sinful world. Lord, may these actions be blessed by you, and may they bring restoration to the brothers that we are dealing with. I pray in Christ's name, amen.