Wives, Submit to Your Husbands - 1

I'd like to invite you to Direct your attention back to the book of Ephesians this morning, Ephesians chapter 5. is where we will Spend our time. It is no secret. that the idea of authority is under attack in the world today. In this broken world, there is no one that enjoys the idea of being submissive.

Children do not enjoy submitting to their parents. Men do not enjoy submitting to their bosses. No one enjoys submitting to the government, and most despised, of all in this cultural climate is the idea of wives submitting to their husbands. From childhood, Our daughters are taught by popular movies to despise the idea of submission. And to see that there is true freedom in kicking off the shackles of the authorities that are set around and above them.

And the little mermaid. Ariel being discontent with her father's rules, sings out Bet you on land they understand. They don't reprimand their daughters. Or Driving across into Scandinavian wilderness, we find Queen Elsa. triumphantly declaring no right No wrong.

No rules for me. I'm free. Or we could go down to the tropics and we can find Moana. who is discontent with the boundaries set by her father and the community, And then she begins to sing of her plans to violate those rules by saying, What's beyond that line? One day I'll know.

Just how far. I will go.

Now, whether we're discussing children's movies or we're discussing popular music today by artists like Beyoncé, who declare that it's girls who run the world. there is a clear disdain for the idea of male headship in any regard. What we need to get, however, Is that this is not some novel concept birthed from feminist enlightenment in the last 150 years? Rather, this hatred of submission, in all of its forms is rooted in the fall of mankind in the Garden of Eden. Following the rebellion of our first parents, God declares in Genesis 3.16 that Eve will desire to control Adam, but Adam will rule over Eve.

Now as Christians We are not a people wandering in darkness. We don't decide what goes and what is in by how we feel. We are not a subjective people tossed and turned by the winds of cultural approval. We know. That God has revealed Himself in His Word.

That His Word is perfect. And that His Word is the final authority for our lives.

So, with that in mind, when we come to texts like Ephesians 5. as taboo as they may be in our cultural climate. We must come with hearts of submission that desire to understand and apply God's eternal and holy word to our lives. This is God's Word.

Now in his letter to the church of Ephesus. The Apostle Paul lays out a brilliant treatise on the gospel. And at this point in his epistle, Paul has made a Shift. From doctrinal discourse to practical application and implications. In chapter 5, Paul seeks to teach us that we are a people who were once in darkness, but were not there anymore.

We have had the light of Christ shone on us by sovereign love. And because of that, He says you imitate him. You make the most of the days because the time is evil. And how do we do that? He says, by knowing the will of God for your life.

Now, you know what I do here. I work with teenagers. And when I was a teenager in particular, I was riddled with fear. About Missing the will of God for my life. If I went to this school, to this college, talked to that person, any chance that I might make the wrong decision, I could miss the boat of God's will for our life.

But it's not that mystical. The will of God for your life is laid out in His Word for you. And the attack that we have today is upon the Ten Commandments. which are a revelation of the character of God. When God calls us to submit ourselves to our fathers and our mothers, something that we are going to spend the next four weeks exploring in Ephesians 5.

It's not just referring to your biological mother and father. all throughout the Old Testament. That language is used of teachers. of husbands. and of governing officials.

God, when he tells you, submit yourself to your father and your mother, is saying that you better recognize authority structure. It is the very fabric of society. Yeah so Sister. If you want to destroy the West and malign the church, Paul tells us in Titus 2. Refuse the command of God.

to practice biblical submission. to your husbands. Does that make you almost shift the weight in your seat? Does it make you uncomfortable? I'm a man.

And it makes me uncomfortable because we live in a society that equates the idea of authority structure. with an idea of chauvinism. And it equates submission with an idea of slavery. But God tells you in his word that my commandments are not burdensome. It is the lie of Satan.

in the Garden of Eden that tells Eve that the Lord does not want the best for you. He doesn't want you to be free. And it's the lie of Satan in our society today. that takes the command of God to our dear sisters and whispers in their ears, He's trying to put you. in slavery.

This morning Paul is going to take a seat in your home. He is going to proceed to lay out how the word of God comes to bear on our relationships. And we're going to consider that over the next four weeks by God's grace in Ephesians 5, beginning in verse number 22 and proceeding into chapter 6. versus four or one through four.

Now, this morning, God wants us to leave Ephesians 5:22 through 24, knowing this. That submission is a spirit-filled wife's way of living out the gospel in her daily life. Paul says, you're not in darkness anymore, you're in light. And so you're going to imitate the Lord. And the way you're going to do that is making the most of every moment because the days are evil.

And the way that you're going to do that is by following the will of God for your life as a spirit-filled person. And he immediately declares wives. Submit to your husbands.

So what we will find in this text today is three things. First, Your submission. is an act. of worship before God. Second.

Your husband is a gift for your good. And third, Your response. to his authority. must be life-encompassing. This is the Word of God.

First, your submission is an act of worship. Look with me in verse 22. He says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Now, during this time in Paul's life, there is a global attack on the home, much like today.

Now among the Jews Women were not viewed as individual persons, but they were viewed as the property of their husbands, with very limited rights. But that's almost conservative. seeing the position of the Greeks and the Romans. The Greeks. viewed their wives as domestic house servants.

They were not your companion. They were not there for your pleasure. They were not there for your friendship or for any intellectual stimulation. You found that everywhere else but the home. Their job is to stay at home and to take care of the house, and the relationship virtually ends at that.

The Romans. Most atrociously are the ones at which Paul's culture as he is writing to the church of Ephesus, is coloring the circumstance.

Now, before Paul's time, there was a view called the Patria Patestas. And that means the power of the Father.

Now under Patriopotastus Men had the power of life and death over their wives and over their children in the most literal sense. To the extent that when that man's child reached adulthood, He still held power over them. And over their belongings with such authority that if they dishonored him, he could have them executed.

Now During Paul's time A new tradition has come to prominence. It's called sine menu. Sina manu meant that a married woman remained under not the authority of her husband upon marriage, but she remained perpetually under the authority of her father until his death. This authority was so overreaching that the father, if he was displeased with his son-in-law, could initiate their divorcement and bring her home. This is the culture that Paul is writing to.

Now, the church of Ephesus is a little different with the cult of Artemis there. This would have been a culture wherein feminism was a little bit more prominent, but nonetheless we need to understand that under the Pax Ramona, the wide-reaching peace of Rome and her jurisdiction, Roman opinion still holds massive cultural influence. And so, understanding this cultural trend, we see that Paul's declaration that a wife is to submit not to her own father. upon marriage, but to her own husband. Paul's being rather countercultural.

Several years ago, I spoke with a newly married guy. He was complaining about the overreach of his mother-in-law. Responding to his complaint, she apparently said, that the Genesis account clearly states that the man is to leave his father and mother and to cleave to his wife. But it never says anything about the woman. And so she justified her overreach into their marriage.

Well, beloved, if that is you this morning, if there is any text which makes it clear. Hands off Mama Bear, it's this one. She is a submit to her husband. upon marriage.

Now notice, Paul does not say men in general. She is to submit to her own Husband. But what is submission exactly? Here's the definition I want us to get. Submission.

is willfully recognizing a God-ordained authority. deferring to their judgment in times of disagreement. and devoting yourself to accomplishing their goals. That is submission biblically defined. I'll repeat it.

Submission. is willfully recognizing a God-ordained authority. It is deferring to their judgment in times of disagreement. And it is devoting yourself to accomplishing Their goal. I believe that this is powerfully displayed in the life of Sarah.

the wife of Abraham. To such an extent, actually, that Abraham is called the father of the faithful. But Peter in 1 Peter 3, writing to wives dealing with unbelieving husbands, he cites Sarah as the mother of the submissive. You're a daughter of Sarah. If you model this beauty.

of submission.

Now, Peter uses her as an example of the truly submissive wife, not because her life was easy. And not because her husband was always right. We know that Abraham had his fair share of issues. Yeah. But she's an example to us because She trusted God enough to place herself underneath her husband's leadership.

When Abraham leaves the Ur of the Chaldees, she followed him. When Abraham went to Egypt. She followed him. When Abraham put her in some rather foolish situations, She followed him.

Now, it is this kind of submission, a submission that recognizes God-ordained authority. and defers to their judgment. that glorifies the Lord. Look at the text. Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord.

Now, before I move on, let me quickly say what submission is not, and I will deal with this a little bit more in the conclusion. Submission is not mindless obedience. nor is it unconditional silence or passivity. Rather, we need to understand that submission is the practice of a wife who is called to be the helpmeat of her husband. This means that her perspectives Her viewpoint and her talents are not In being pitted against that of her husband.

They are complementary to that of her husband. And if he will... Understand that she has been given to compliment him, they will form. A miraculous tapestry. Together.

That she might be able to aid in his deficiency. And that when they are able or when they are discussing an important decision, she is within her rights. to seek to persuade him. If possible, Albeit. with a spirit of meekness.

So there is wisdom, and I think that Solomon knows this, and this is the reason he speaks to his son in the Proverbs and states that there is a feminine aspect to the wisdom. that you are to pursue. My dear son.

Now, with that said, it is the submissiveness of the wife that brings glory to Christ as she submits to her husband as to the Lord.

Now I do not take the position of Thomas Aquinas and other men who say that this is in a sense that she is to call her husband Lord, which is what Sarah does. or necessarily that her husband is to receive the exact same devotion and unquestioning loyalty as Jesus. Rather, for a wife to submit to her husband as to the Lord is for her to recognize that her submission to Christ is the fountainhead to which her loving submission to her husband then flows. And so, what Paul wants us to see and what we'll see throughout this text is that if we claim allegiance to Jesus and spitefully despise and refuse the leadership of our husband, well, we have a misunderstanding of the implications of the gospel.

So you submit to your husband. As to the Lord. A wife's submission. is in some way both the training ground and the display case for her loving submission to Jesus Christ. as her true and final authority.

Seeing this, a good question for Wise to ask today as you seek to apply this truth to your life is this. Does my relationship model worshipful submission. Not worship of him, but worshipful adoration and seeing that my submission to this man is an act of worship to the Lord, knowing that he ordained this office. Or Is my relationship defined by willful resistance? Or is it design or is it defined by begrudging subjection?

Perhaps a better way to put this. Or, to put it more simply, is do I view my place of submission in our marriage as degrading? Or do I see it as an opportunity to strengthen my husband and to glorify my Lord? I think that as we meditate on that this week, That will help us in understanding this office in a way that the Lord is glorified because He is the architect. of the structure.

of your home.

Now at point two. Not only is your submission an act of worship to the Lord, but secondly, your husband is a gift. for your good. He's a gift for your good.

Now society will tell you that that is absolutely not true to the extent that there is a trend out that if a woman is hiking on a trail, would you rather come across a man or would you rather come across a bear? And they jokingly say, without a doubt, a bear.

Well in this society. which authority is maligned. And men are seen as shackle slavery enforcing men. We need to understand that God has told us that our husbands, your husbands, are for your good. Verse 23, read it with me.

For the husband so why do we do this?

Well, because the husband is the head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church, and he is the Savior of the body.

Now we understand our definition of submission this morning, right? It is the recognizing of a God ordained authority. It is deferring to them in times of disagreement. And it is devoting myself to accomplishing That authority set goal.

Now we see that.

Now, so what we need to see now is that submission obviously implies that there is a leader, there is an authority. But what is a biblical understanding of authority? I believe that the scriptures teach that biblical authority is a God-given responsibility. to direct in a way that displays God's glory. and directly benefits those under my care.

Did you catch that? My authority Is not for what Hunter wants in the sense of, I'm Job of the Hutt, and I'm commanding all of you to accomplish my task for me, no. It is The understanding that I have a God-given responsibility. To direct in a way that displays God's glory and directly benefits those beneath my care. One writer said, if you want to do immense harm to a person under your care, whether it's an officer, a pastor, a husband, or a dad, take the authority you've been given and abuse them with it.

and abuse them with it. The glorious burden of a person in authority. is that they are always a leader Under submission. There is no shortage of cases of spiritual abuse in the pastoral office when a pastor forgets that he is a man under submission to the Lord. We are undershepherds serving the Lord.

There is no shortage of stories. Of parents abusing the authority that they have over their children. And the authority that we have is to be displayed in such a way that when my child reflects upon the leadership that I had over them as a father, do they say, I could see the Heavenly Father and how my Dad loved me. God's glory was displayed. Certainly, he was faulty, but God's glory was displayed in how my mother loved me and led me, how my father loved me and led me, how he protected me, how my boss has ordered me to accomplish these tasks.

Do we see authority as something that God institutes for his glory? But also, we, those who are in authority, from parents to the government officials, need to understand that when we abuse that authority, we blaspheme the Lord and we do irreparable damage to those under our care.

Now in verse 23, Paul states that men are the heads of their wives, just as Jesus is the head of his church. In seeking to understand what this means, I believe. Paul's other use of the word head. is helpful. He uses that back in Ephesians chapter 1.

If you will turn there with me quickly. Yeah. I mean, just listen to this. I'm going to read a few passages of Scripture beginning at verse 15. Therefore I also After I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation and the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened.

That you may know what is the hope of his calling, what are the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of his power towards us who believe. According to the working of his mighty power, do you see this climax beginning to work up here about this power structure with Jesus at the climax which he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places? Far above the principalities and the powers, and might and dominion, and every name that is named, and not only in this age, but also in that which is to come. Essentially, he's saying Jesus is wonderful, and Jesus is the pinnacle of all authority. He reigns over demons and all of Creation.

And then he says, And he put all things under his feet. and gave Gave that Jesus, gave him to be head of all things to the church. Why? which is his body. the fullness of him.

who fills all. In all. In Ephesians 1:22, Paul, having exploded with the praise of the glory, honor, and power of Jesus Christ, states that it is this glorious Jesus who the Father has given to the church, that he has given to the church. Why? To fill it with his glory.

He's given Jesus as the authority, the head of the church. Why? To benefit her. to benefit her. to feel her with his glory.

Understanding this and moving back to Ephesians chapter 5, and by the way, you will notice if you study this at home, there is a massive liberal push to redefine what head means. Wayne Gruden did a very interesting study of over 2,000 to 4,000 examples of the word head in pagan usages in the culture of the time.

So, not only biblical usages, but the surrounding culture. There is not one instance which liberal theologians today are saying that head means the origin or the source. Essentially, they're saying this doesn't mean that he's her leader, it just means we need to understand Adam came before Eve. It is always without exception, meaning the leader, the authority. He's the head.

We cannot import our own desires upon the Word of God and say that we believe that God's Word is the authority.

So Paul is saying, if Jesus has been given to us and has sacrificially devoted himself for our good, and if husbands are to reflect that relationship, Then we need to see that husbands are given as gifts to their wives, why? For their benefit. For their benefit. God has given you your husband for your Good for your blessing, for your benefit. He's a gift.

To you.

Now Paul then says Equating husbands with Jesus as it comes to the headship of the home and over the church, it then says, and Jesus is the Savior. of the body. Which is the church.

Now, Paul is not implying. That husbands are somehow saving the souls of the wives.

Now, next week we will see that we are to wash our wives with the word. We are meant to be a sanctifying tool in the lives of our wives. He is not implying that we are saving their souls. in the sense of delivering them from hell. He is implying, however, that husbands are meant to depict Jesus in how they sacrifice for the good.

Of They are wives. This means that The husband is meant to use his authority for the benefit and the blessing of his wife and not for his own selfish. Pleasure. The husband is meant to be her provider. The husband is meant to be your protector.

The husband, if duty demands it, must be ready to, if duty demands it, lay his life down for the sake. of his Wife. Jay Adams about this wrote, every woman who recognizes that headship means that her husband must treat her as Christ treats his church, ought to jump in the air and click her heels at least twice before hitting the floor. Why? because headship has been designed by God to bless her.

To bless her. I heard one pastor put it this way, submission is God tapping the wife on the shoulder and telling her to dunk while he punches the husband in the chest. And it's essentially the truth. Our society would have you believe that authority is enslavement. And authority is pushing those beneath you as slaves to please you.

But it's not. The authority structure that we have as husbands, as leaders in any regard, is an understanding that when I make that decision, and if there's a split and I cast a deciding vote. I'm the one. Who takes the blame? I'm the one that the fingers are pointed at.

I'm the one who has to answer to God. And so it's a weight, brothers. That we should feel upon us. God will deal with me for how I lead my home. It's a terrifying thing.

To think that one day I'll stand before a thrice holy God. And that there's a possibility that he could look at me and say, son, You made it difficult. for her to glorify me. by submitting to you. Are you making it difficult?

for you're a wife. to lovingly submit to you as her husband. She has. The world stacked against her, the flesh and the devil stacked against her. The one thing that she does not need stacked against her is a brother, a man who misunderstands and misuses the authority that God has given him in the home.

The husband is designed to bless you, sister. And so, with that said, I want to ask you ladies, when was the last time you took inventory of the benefit that God has brought into your life by giving you your husband? When we were kids, we used to grow up singing this psalm: Count your many blessings, name them one by one, count your many blessings, see what God has done. And I think this implies into the marriage relationship as well. Do you take time to reflect on how he wakes up before anyone in the house to pray for you before putting on the coffee and heading to work?

Do you take time to reflect on how he comes home from a hard day and lovingly seeks to lead his family in devotion and prayer? Do you take time to thank God that your husband seeks to use his authority in the home to bless you all? Do you consider these things? You see, the structure of the family unit isn't the idea of a few powerful men a long time ago who were intimidated by feminine brilliance. The structure of the home is the plan.

Of Almighty God. for your life. One writer put it this way, sister, Your submission is God's cosmic plan to glorify himself. in your marriage. In his book, The Masculine Mandate, which I heartily recommend, and I have enjoyed our time studying through it with our brothers in the church.

In his book, The Masculine Mandate, Richard Phillips says, God did not design wives to lead husbands. Go. One of the burdens that she is called to bear is not the headship of the home. We, dear brothers, Are the leaders of the home? Paul is not saying, make him leader of the home.

Paul is not saying that you can reverse the placements in the home. To reverse the placements of authority structures in the home is as easy as Christ reversing places of authority in the church, Paul says. It's impossible. Uh so brothers We don't get a choice about whether we're going to lead or not. The choice that we have is whether we're going to lead well or lead poorly and to make our homes suffer.

by account of our poor leadership.

Now, before I move on, I want to state that while this goodness Husbands waking up and praying and blessing the home benevolently. While that goodness promotes submission, we must recognize. That the submission of the wife is rooted not in her husband's perfection. It's not rooted in your husband's perfection. As a man who knows most of the men in this church, I can tell you, we are far from perfect.

Be honest with you, for most of us, we feel like we're batting a thousand if we remember to put the seat down in the morning and notice that you did something different with your hair. We are far from perfect men. This is a result of the fall.

So if you're waiting for your husband to be perfect, Before you obey this command of God, you're just never going to obey the Lord. Not in this regard. Instead, submission is rooted not in your husband's perfection, it's rooted in his God-given position. And since that is true, and since you two are both sinners saved by grace, if you're going to fulfill this command, You better be led by the Spirit. Which is what Paul says in verse 18, be led and filled by the Spirit.

Be led and filled by the Spirit. Marriage, beloved, is not easy. But the home that's submitted to the order of the Lord, a home that seeks to lead with the blessing and benefit of those beneath us, a home that seeks to employ the Spirit-led wisdom of God and how we govern, isn't that a lovely thing? Isn't the Christian home the closest foretaste Of Eden that we have. To walk together not only as husband and wife, but to hold hands and to walk as brother and sister in the Lord.

Is that not one of the most delightful things? that we can enjoy. Christ has given us a foretaste. of that Edenic beauty. in our homes.

So if we're going to fulfill this command, if you're going to fulfill this command, dear sister, You must be led by the Spirit. That means you must be catechized by the word. That means that we're not going for to TikTok. To get our daily IV drip of how we should hate our husbands and resist the patriarchy. We are being conformed not to the image of the algorithm, we are being conformed.

By the wisdom of God, revealed in his word. and being shaped into the image of Jesus Christ. And this takes us to point three.

So Your submission, rightfully defined, your biblical submission. Is worship to the Lord. Your husband is a gift for your good. And finally, your response to that authority must be life-encompassing. This is the words of the apostle.

He says In verse number 24, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let wives be to their own husbands. Do we all see those two words there together? In Everything. In everything. In verse 24, Paul points out that the response of the church to our Lord's gracious Marvelous.

Leadership. is willful Submission. In like manner, wives are to imitate this in their marriages. And what we need to ask. Sister is How does the church submit to Jesus exactly?

And the answer to that question is that the church submits to Jesus. By willfully obeying Christ. with complete confidence. that he won't lead us astray. That's how the church submits to Jesus.

And that's why we are a church that is centered on the word here. We're not interested in pragmatism. We're not interested in seeing exactly what kind of groups can come in and counsel the church on how we can funnel in more attraction from the community. We are a people as the church. That are willfully obeying Christ with complete confidence that Jesus will not lead us astray.

And so we take glorious pride in the fact that He has given us the ordinary means of grace. And he just nourishes us week after week after week with this steady. Drip. of leadership from his word. A beautiful expression of this is William Lloyd's hymn, My Times Are In Thy Hand.

I love it. My times are in thy hand, or in your hand. My God, I wish them there. My life. my friends, my soul.

I leave entirely to your Care.

Now we need to approach this last verse very carefully. Because we have to be mindful that there is a feminist push to explain this text away. But there's also We could call it a chauvinist push, a sinful male desire to make this text say more than what it says too. We would call this esegesis, importing my preferences and forcing it onto the text and making it say something it didn't say. That's one of the fears of the preacher.

James 3 hammers home. I would hate to stand before the Lord. And for him to look at me and to say, Hunter, That is not what I said. to the church. That is not what I said to the church.

So what is he saying to the church? What Paul wants wives to know is that there are no areas of your life that escape the umbrella of marital marital submission. In everything Means in everything. It's in reference to the breadth. of this submission.

Now What Paul means when he says in everything is that a wife is to approach her marriage with a posture of submission set in place. She has, as it were, already settled in her heart that she is under her husband's care.

So that when a decision comes up, she is already prepped to follow him. This means that there is no corner of your marriage that you can say reasonably, oh. He doesn't get a say here.

So, his leadership can touch how you spend your time. His leadership can touch where you spend your money. His leadership can speak into how you two raise your children. And that is a beautiful thing to see work out when the husband is mindful of the fact that he is called to exercise this authority with a loving. Commitment to your good.

and to God's glory. But when that authority forgets what the purpose of it is. And we subject it. to our pleasure and pride. It's a hellish thing.

for those underneath our care. And we must be mindful of that. I regularly have to remind myself I've got one life on this earth, and my dear wife has one life on this earth. And as it's my duty to lead her in this life. Can I lead her?

In a way where my authority is defined by the word of God, that as best as can fit me as a fallen son. Adam that's been redeemed by grace. Can I lead her by grace in such a way that as the best that suits me? that can make this submission easy on her. as it regards me.

I believe Jonathan Lehman. If you were looking for a book, if you're anyone in authority, I would recommend Lehman's book Authority. Jonathan Lehman's book on authority is very good. He strikes a good balance on this matter in his book. He writes: The Bible calls wives to submit to their husbands in the same way that the church submits to Christ.

Therefore, a wife should treat her husband's instructions as conscience-binding. Yeah. Wait, he later writes. When a married couple needs to make a decision together, A husband is utterly reliant. on his wife to make good ones.

God designed him to rely on her help, her competence, her wisdom. And why did Adam need a helper?

Well perhaps because no man is competent in everything. Even an unfallen man. Perhaps he could only do so much work alone. Adam needed Eve's competence, her skill and strength, and so does. Every husband.

So, if we have a misunderstanding of her place in submission. We will Condemn her calling of God to fulfill her office of helpmeat. when we do not consult her. and her wisdom.

Now if there is a disagreement among the two of you, We must be humble enough to say if she's got a point. I concede. But as best suits us as we are taught by the word. If there is irreconcilable disagreement, You get that vote. That takes the brunt of the blow if you lead them astray.

That is the the duty and the horrible terror of the husband as a leader.

Now, I am aware that some of you struggle with this command due to past abuse. And I want to deal with that in a moment. But Before I do that. I want to advise others. who have not had abuses in that regard, to carefully ask themselves Why is my response to this command of God to ask a thousand what-ifs?

Instead of simply saying, this is the Word of God. for me as a daughter of God. Did you did we catch that? There is There are women who have been abused. by their husbands and that struggle with this text.

And yet, in some sense, I would argue that a majority, sisters, of you have not experienced such abuses. And so if your approach to this text is to immediately Write off a thousand what-ifs to loophole your way around this command. That's a diagnostic. of the condition of our souls. Because this submission to our husbands is as a submission of the church to Christ.

It's a gospel issue.

Now, I believe that every couple needs to know that when a man gets down on one knee and he asks that pretty little lady to marry him. He is confessing that he delights in her. that he wants her by his side. And that he needs her help to fulfill the mandate that God has called him to in this life. Reagan and I were speaking the other day about my proposal to her.

I took her to the camp that we met at when we were 16, and it was it was A really uncomfortable. I'm glad it was not on video. The grass was super tall, they had not mowed. She got covered in some sort of chiggers or something like that. And it was just really, it was just really a bad proposal.

I'm working on my being romantic. It's. She's had some time to work with me. We're coming about.

So when we propose to that woman, though, we declare to her, I delight in you. And I have a calling of God all my life, and I want you, I need you to compliment me to fulfill this because I can't do it alone. And young lady. When you say yes, you are making your own confession to him. You are essentially saying, I trust you.

I am willing to place myself under your headship and to defer to you when we cannot agree. And I am willing to devote myself my life to helping you fulfill the calling that God has given to you. That is the purpose of my life, and the Lord is glorified in it. But you see in all these Hallmark movies Horrible, horrible things. There's something better out there, I'm sure.

The lady who is bound beneath this has to go and pursue a life where I can have something for myself because the husband gets something for himself. And society is redefining that horribly. Everything that your husband does, if he's leading by God's command, and everything that you are doing, if you are submitting by God's command, is to fulfill the role of fostering a home for the glory of God. It's all for the home. It's all for the home.

Your husband is not, it should be, out there frolicking in the fields to find himself or something like that. He's not coming home and plopping on the couch and drinking a beer and commanding you around. He's pouring himself out for you. And you pour yourself out for him. And the home will be a foretaste of glory.

And if we want to destroy our children, If you want to damage the witness of the church, then you disregard this command of the Lord. Titus 2 tells us. But if our wives forsake this submission, We blaspheme. God. We blaspheme God.

Now to those who long to understand and obey this text, But struggle due to past abuse. Let's ask the scriptures how to submit to ungodly authority. And I'm going to have to wrap this up quickly. Let me give you a few. ideas.

In Acts 5, I'm going to summarize. Ananias and Sapphira are catching a sniff at the theme in the church. Everybody's selling their stuff and giving money, and they're looking good.

So, Safari, here's what we're going to do. We're going to sell our stuff. I'm going to tell Peter I sold it for however much, but really, We're going to keep a little bit back for us on the top. We get the best of both worlds so far. We get to look good because everyone in the church is doing it.

And we get some money. Everyone wins. It's a virus. All right.

Sounds good to me. And so Ananias walks before Peter and Peter says, is that the truth? Yeah, sure is. And Peter delivers that great scathing blow and the Holy Spirit comes and strips his life from him. A few hours later, here comes frolicking in Sapphira.

Did you sell the land for this month? Much? We sure did. Oh. The same hands that carried your husband out, are now coming to carry you.

And she dies. But wait!

Sophira was submitted to her husband. Doesn't she deserve a pat on the back and Peter go, good for you? You did it. You pass. No.

Wives. When our husbands are leading us in ungodly commands, we must submit to God rather than men. And so the disposition that you must assume is what would be called a disposition of meek disobedience. A disposition of meek disobedience. Not tyrannical.

Disobedience, meek disobedience to Him, because your allegiance is to Jesus. If a cop tells you to disobey, the law of the land, or to disobey the authorities over him, you have to obey the higher authority instead of the lower authority. And it's the same with your marriage second. I've got three categories. We call what we call as a husband giving disobedient commands, and then we have a difficult husband, which is in 1 Peter 3.

This is an unbelieving spouse who does not recognize the Lord. How do you live with him?

Well, Peter says, don't leave him. You use your life and this subtle glory of submission, and you use it in a way that the Lord might use you. to adorn the gospel. and to win his soul to himself. But then there's a third tier.

And I would call that the dangerous husband. These commands are not to those Who are In danger. The call of submission to you is not to endure violence in the name of submission. If you are in danger, Please talk to one of the elders. or speak with the proper authorities.

The God that called you to submit to your husband. has likewise caused that husband to steward his authority well. And so abuse must be understood as a blasphemous abdication. of his office. Are we understood there, sisters?

And that's all I'm going to spend on this idea of what-ifs. In conclusion, Paul calls all believers to recognize that God has wonderfully saved us from darkness and that His grace touches every aspect of our lives. While we as sinful people often struggle to obey, We know that God's commandments are not burdensome. And we can take courage in knowing that He is with us. His Spirit will strengthen us.

And His grace is sufficient in our weakness. The God Who orchestrated this beautiful story of the gospel is the same God that put you and your husband together to depict that story in your love for one another.

So, in closing, as you look your husband in the eyes tonight, I want you to remember, dear sister. That your submission to that man is an act of submission of worship to the God that made you. Saved you. and put you two together. for his glory.

This is God's Word.

May we receive it. with hearts. Praise. Let us go to the Lord in a word of prayer. Most beloved Heavenly Father, I come before you in trepidation and fear.

Not Fear of the taboo that this statement is in the eyes of our cultural climate. But fear and trepidation pleading with you that I might have honored you in this handling of your word. And also, dear Lord, that you by your spirit would soften the hearts of our sisters and help them to employ this, but also to soften the hearts of our brothers.

So lead well. Oh Lord, we wish to live out the gospel. I I want my children. To look at my love for my wife and her love for me. and to say that they saw the gospel in our home.

Help us to depict it before them and before the world. that the word of God would be not blasphemed. And may Christ be praised. and his Church's submission to him as its head, In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.