The Baptist Bible Hour now comes to you under the direction of Elder Lasser Bradley Jr. Please get Thousand tongues to see my great redeem. It must Bye. The glories of my government. The triumphs of his This is Lisa Bradley Jr., inviting you to stay tuned for another message of God's sovereign grace.
Be thou my vision, O Lord. Of my heart not the What else do we say that thou art my best salt by day or by night waking or sleeping thy presence, my love I King of heaven, my victory won, may I reach heaven's joys, bright heaven song Heart of my own heart whatever before You'll be my vision over we're bringing a message entitled Fathers That Give Hope. Certainly we should be thankful to the Lord if we have had a godly Father that has had a positive influence in our life. But I know that there are those that have not had that experience and some sometimes struggle with the fact on into adulthood.
Well, it's good to remember that the psalmist said: When my mother and father forsake me, then the Lord will take me up.
So, if you have not had an earthly father to fill the role that he should have filled. There is hope and help. in the Lord our Heavenly Father. I hope the message will be a blessing. We'd love to hear from you.
Our address is Baptist Bible Hour. Box seventeen oh thirty seven, Cincinnati, Ohio, four five two one seven. Good. Thy bath are chosen way from Lord's alarms, from deadly best of less. Be thy strong arm forever surely best.
Thy true religion in our hearts increase, thy bounds as good as courage using these. We fresh thy beauty on their toes and way. Lead us from night through never-ending day. Bill or light. With love and grace divide and glory love and grace the everlast over the past months.
I brought several messages on hope. Hope is a beautiful word. The opposite, of course. would be to be hopeless. And that's a terrible, dreaded condition.
Hope. in the Lord. is bright. Beautiful. Uplifting.
One of the messages I entitled The God of hope. And then I spoke on hope. the anchor of the soul. Another message we entitled, There Is Hope. And then a message, hope for the depressed.
And one entitled A door of hope.
Now on this Father's Day, I want to talk about hope. Once again. And talk about Fathers. who give Hope. Read from the book of Colossians.
Chapter 3. Verse twenty-one. Fathers? Provoke not your children to anger. lest they be discouraged.
The text is saying, do not exasperate your children. Stop. nagging them so that they would lose heart. In Ephesians chapter six, verse four. But to the same thought is expressed as the Apostle writes and says, And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
So first as we think about Fathers who give hope. We consider What the motive should be. What is the motivation? For the father to fill his role in giving hope. Certainly it is appropriate on this day.
for children to express their appreciation for their fathers. But it's also a good time for fathers to consider whether or not they are adequately filling their role. And since none of us are perfect, I'm sure we can all find some areas where improvement can be made.
Well, as we think about that which should motivate a father, we first think of it from the negative standpoint. Motives that should be avoided. The father simply has a desire. to be admired as a good father. He wants to be admired by his children, of course.
but he also would like to be admired by other people. He would like people to observe how he deals with his children and say, Now, there is a great father. And there's nothing wrong If the results of properly Giving hope. Maybe that Children are particularly grateful for the way they Receive the guidance and encouragement from their father, and if others may observe it. But if that's the primary motive, Something is going to be lost.
It becomes something of self-interest. Or It might be the desire to have their children Receive some of the things that they did not receive as. A child. and to participate in some of the things that they missed. Often, a father gets enthusiastic about seeing his son in particular.
be involved in some of the athletic contests that he may have missed out on. strong desire to see them involved and successful. And so the focus is not How can I glorify God? and be the kind of father that will therefore be a great Benefit. be of great benefit to my children, but it becomes a very self-centered, selfish motive.
From the book entitled Solving a Crisis in Christian Parenting. Reb Bradley writes, I have observed that it is easy for conscientious parents to become dream-oriented. The reason that our dreams for our children are so vulnerable to crashing is because they are our dreams. but they involve our children. Our dreams are not just for them, But also for us as dedicated parents, we make great sacrifices and invest a great deal of influence how our children turn out.
The problem is that our children can be lost in love for personal success as a parent. Our concern for ourselves ends up overshadowing our love for our children. Initially, someone might not consider that to be a problem. It's possible without initially realizing it. That which motivates a parent, that which motivates a father.
is that How about to have this child fulfilling my dreams. I want them to be what I want them to be, not talking about from a spiritual standpoint, but just as far as they're. interests, their hobbies, their ultimate career. We began to think about ourselves.
So in contrast, what about the acceptable motive. First and foremost, it ought to be to glorify The Lord Jesus Christ. What kind of a father is going to be the best father, the most effective father. It's one Who desires in all that he does, in all of his plans, and all of his thoughts, and all of his interaction with his children. That he wants to glorify it.
Jesus Christ. Of course, that should be the motivation of any Christian in any activity and all that we do, that we are to glorify Him. And then, according to our text, the motivation should be that you rear children. who are not discouraged. You are to give them hope.
rather than to discourage them. If they are discouraged, they lose heart. They become Sullen, spiritless. They are not enthused and excited about life. And so Care must be given.
That children are brought up in such a way. that they are not discouraged.
Furthermore, an acceptable motive is to be like your Father in heaven. Matthew chapter 5, verse 48 says, Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.
Now we recognize that none of us are going to reach a level of absolute perfection in this life. Just as John admonishes us in 1 John 2 and verse 1, and says, My little children, I write unto you that you sin not.
Now, he said in the previous chapter: if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
So we must acknowledge our shortcomings and know that we are sinners. But our goal is that we sin not. We are not going to reach that level of absolute perfection of this life. to be like our Heavenly Father, but that's our goal. And he says, Be ye holy even as I am holy.
It didn't say I know you're not going to make it, so let's say, be ye 50% holy, because we would immediately then reduce that and say, well, I'll try for 25%. But the goal is perfection. Be ye holy even as I am holy.
So, a father wants to be like his heavenly father. And Furthermore, to use God's word as his guide. Verse 16 of this same chapter, Colossians chapter 3, says, Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly. That literally means to let the word of Christ be at home in you. It should be a part of you.
You should be so well acquainted with it. that when a problem arises, you think biblically. Instead of giving away to some Fleshly impulse. Giving away to anger. Being explosive in the way that you respond to some disobedient act on the part of your child.
You let the word of Christ Be at home in you. You think about what is expected of you. as a child of God. As Imitating your Heavenly Father as one who is a Christian. as one who should serve.
in a way that will edify and be a blessing to others around you. If you're not acquainted with God's Word, You'll be easily influenced by the thinking of the culture in which we live. And certainly All should be keenly aware of the fact That this culture is moving farther and farther away from God.
So if you're influenced by What you see on television Or by books that may be popular in our day, or by the opinions of people who are not believers. You're going to be moving down the wrong path. God's Word must be your guide.
So Let's think about some of the ways in which Fathers may fail in their effort to give hope, and consequently. cause their children to become discouraged. First of all, children can be discouraged and exasperated. by overprotection. Sham Establish strict rules about everything.
There are so many rules.
So many ways in which the Father says no. that they become Greatly discouraged. Never trusting a child. Never Showing enough confidence in them that they can make the right choice after they've been correctly taught. often leads to despair and rebellion.
on the part of a child. In contrast to discouraging a child, by rules that are so strict. and an attitude that is so overbearing that they become disheartened. We recognize that proper discipline must be maintained.
So, a failure to maintain that proper discipline is one way to discourage children.
Well Setting so many rules And being overbearing can cause the child to be greatly disheartened, Obviously standards must be set. There must be some rules with which the child is acquainted. And the father, being the spiritual leader of the home, is in charge.
Now, generally, the children are going to be spending more time with the mother than they are with the father. And so she's going to be the one that will be maintaining that level of discipline throughout the day. But some fathers at that point feel like, well, the mother is with the children, so I just got to transfer this all to her. And they shirk their duty. But a father Must see to it that proper standards are maintained.
Without that, children actually feel insecure. They feel that the parents do not have a deep interest and concern for them. if there are not some rules set.
Now some children gonna push It's hard as they possibly can to see if you're serious about the rules. They'll come back and try to make you feel guilty.
Well, none of my friends have to live by this rule. I don't know of anybody that has to be in at this hour of night. I think it's very unfair. And if they're not successful the first time, some of them are very persistent salesmen. They'll come back and try to once again approach the subject and sell you on the idea that you're overbearing and that they're suffering greatly.
So you have to be discerning. And no, when a child is um trying in every way possible To get around what are viable, needful rules. or when the rules themselves have become so numerous and so hard, that the child is suffering from them. And then another way that a father Can cause children to become discouraged is by setting unrealistic goals. Nothing is ever enough.
I remember Counseling with a man that was, I guess, somewhere in around 65 years old. And he was still deeply grieved and struggling with the fact. that he never had a word of approval from his father. He says, I know I'm old enough I ought to be over that. I don't know why, but I struggle with it to this very day.
He said, I've got good grades in school. But it was never enough. If I had an A, you wanted to know why I didn't get an A plus. If I did one thing that it required, it was like, well, there were two other things that I should have done. Setting unrealistic goals.
expecting something from a child that is really unattainable or failing to give words of approval and appreciation when the child has done a good job.
Well Yeah. to be tremendously discouraged.
Sometimes the parent, as in that quote we read earlier, is trying to impose on their children.
Something that um They We were not able to accomplish in their childhood, and so now they want to live it out through their children. And the goals are unrealistic. Another way that a father Can cause his children to be discouraged is by criticism. If there's constant criticism, Constant criticism in many different areas. what the child does, how the child speaks.
what his interests may be. The child begins to feel worthless. He doubts his own ability. He doubts that he can have any good judgment about anything.
Someone has said it this way. That child, who was under constant criticism, lives with continual expectation of impending doom. Because nothing is ever right. No real appreciation, no compliment is ever given. It's always something from the negative standpoint.
And then it's certainly detrimental, it's failure to give encouragement and hope to a child by failure to listen.
So, many times when I've talked to teenagers who were struggling and having difficulties at home, that was one of the things that would be brought up. says, my father never listens to me. He's always in a hurry. He always says, well, I'll get to you later. Of course, one of the things now where everybody carries a cell phone.
Be distracted. looking at your text and emails.
So when your child wants to talk, Put down your phone. Give them your attention. And Communicate.
Now there's another side of that I realize. But sometimes particularly little children that haven't learned some restraints in this area, have the idea that when they want their parents' attention, it doesn't matter when it may be, they demand it now.
So they may be in conversation with somebody else and the child interrupts. Children ought to be taught to respect the fact that when you're talking to somebody else, they can wait their turn. And some of them become rather loud in their demands that I want to be heard at this moment and expect it. And so discipline must be exercised to bring about that training as well. And then Just basically failure.
To show affection. Council with a lady that was up in years and She said that The thing that troubled her about her childhood. was that her father never one time said, I love you. And she said, I've just felt like somehow I want to get him to say that. I think maybe he does love me, but I I he just will never say it.
So she made a trip to a distant state where he lived. Rented a motel near his house, went to see him every day. Tried in every conceivable manner to get the father to say, I love you, and he never did. She came back home and went to a psychiatrist. who gave her a plan that she found to be Useless.
He said, you've got to Throw away. This hurt that you've got inside.
So I suggest that you buy a cheap set of dishes. And go over, she lived in northern Kentucky, go over to the Licking River and stand there and throw those dishes in one at a time. And you throw that plate in and you say, I'm getting rid of my hurt, I'm throwing it away. She said, after I threw in about the third plate, I thought I'd probably be arrested for polluting the river.
So she said that didn't work, and that's why I've come to talk to you. I said, well, I got a better plan. I want to tell you about The Heavenly Father. That can make up any loss that you've ever experienced by the failure of your earthly Father.
Well, how is it then? that a father gives hope. We've talked about the negative side of it. How is it that he gives hope? First of all, by reflecting the character of God, His Heavenly Father.
God is love. Ephesians chapter 5, verses 1 and 2 says, Be ye therefore followers of God as dear children, and walk in love. As Christ also hath loved us and hath given himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor. The followers of God. And how are you going to do that?
To walk in love. Of course, this is an admonition given to all Christians. But when we're talking about what a father can do to give hope to his children, obviously, this is a vital point. to walk in love. To demonstrate love, care, interest in his children.
Mm-hmm. Love of God is greater far. And some more pairs. And ever tell it goes beyond. On the Highest star and reaches through.
To the lowest hell, the guilty pen. Bowed down with care, God gave His son to win His erring child, the redun and pardon from. What a blessing when fathers are careful not to discourage their children, but to give them hope. They trained them and they instruct them. and they display God's love as they show genuine love for their children.
They teach God's truth. and teach by the example they set. I hope that you will write us, and until next week at this same time, may the Lord richly bless you all. Could we within the ocean fill and where the skies of parchment made? Where every song on earth a quill and every man astride by train to ride the love of God above would drain the ocean dry, nor could the stroll contain the whole.
The Baptist Bible Hour has come to you under the direction of Elder Lesaire Bradley Jr. Address all mail to the Baptist Bible Hour, Cincinnati, Ohio, 45217. That's the Baptist Bible Hour, Cincinnati, Ohio, 45217. And strong, it shall forevermore endure the saints and angels song. O love of God, how rich and pure, O tell the love of God.
