After Hours with Amy Lawrence PODCAST: Hour 3

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That's betterhelp.com slash positive. Hey, hey! Dead center of our work week, and we're glad to have you with us on The Hump Show. We are now just over a half hour away from Ask Amy Anything. I've been so busy over the last couple hours that I haven't even had a chance to look.

Sometimes I cheat, I'll just be honest. But I haven't even looked at the questions you've posed. So that is all producer Jay. You can find him and send your questions to him on our show Twitter account, After Hours CBS. You know our Facebook page. And just one more huge thank you to those of you who responded, well read and responded to the article done by Peter Schwartz for Barrett Sports Media.

It's a media industry site and I shared it after having Pete here in studio about 24 hours ago. And he had a very specific angle that he wanted to write about. He did just a few words about my winding career path. And gosh, I woke up on Tuesday afternoon after not sleeping very well, and my social media had blown up with comments and responses. And many of you, very complimentary of me and the show of course, but also about who I am and what it's taken to get to this point. Very humbling. Thank you. I will never take that for granted.

I will never take your support for granted. So if you haven't seen the link, it's on both Twitter and Facebook. After Hours here on CBS Sports Radio, it's Father's Day coming up this weekend. How do you know? Well, you know, because it's US Open Week.

No, I'm just kidding. Isn't that sad? That's really through my sports lens. It's US Open Week, so that means it's Father's Day. And I gotta say something that I say about Mother's Day as well. It's not the same for everyone. The experience is not the same for everyone. For parents who've lost children, it can be painful. For children, and by children, I just mean you have parents, it can be painful, right? Whatever age you are as a child of your parents, it's not a utopic society. Not all relationships with parents are created equal. And so sometimes Mother's and Father's Days can be painful for those who don't have great relationships with their parents.

And that includes me. Or there are people out there who desperately want to be parents and for one reason or another have not yet had the opportunity or didn't have the chance. So for all those reasons, you'll never hear me glorify either Mother's Day or Father's Day. I do believe they are two roles in our society that are very important.

They're critical. I enjoy being a mentor. I enjoy being an auntie. And I certainly enjoy being my mother's daughter and also a granddaughter to my grandmothers when they were still alive. But it's not a day where there's one size fits all and everyone has the same joyful, happy, wonderful experience.

That's not real life. But as humans, as families, we adjust. We find different ways to be part of families, whether that's those to whom we are related or those that we connect with over the course of our lives. And I do appreciate that in our society, there are a lot of families that don't follow one particular pattern and yet still can find peace and joy and can find some redemption in that. Really excited that we have a friend of the show who will reach out to us and say, hey, I got an idea.

Can I come join you on the show again? And that is Jesse Bradley. Now, when we first connected with Jesse, to us, he was a former pro soccer goalie who played internationally, who had an incredible story to tell and wanted to be our World Cup correspondent.

He was so good the first time we had him that we brought him back multiple times throughout the course of the World Cup in the wake of the U.S. run, but of course, the wake of the championship. As it turns out, the man has many talents. He is a pastor. He's a motivational speaker. He's an incredible media guru.

He's everywhere these days. And he's also an author. And his brand-new book is called Four Elements of Fatherhood. So he reached out and asked if he could join us on the show, not only to talk about the book, but to encourage dads in advance of Father's Day.

Cool stuff, right? So Jesse, joining us from Seattle, I have no idea with everything else that you do, all the other hats that you wear, plus being a dad to four kids yourself. When the heck do you have time to write a book, Jesse? Thanks, Amy.

So glad to be back with you. And right now, to be honest, writing's a stretch for me. And I hope that's an encouragement for anyone who's maybe vacillating with fear.

Just because something's difficult, it doesn't mean to stop or quit or give up. So I'm writing this really out of my heart. And fatherhood is something I'm in the middle of right now with four kids, four teenagers as well. That just happened.

We've got four. And really, I think back to my own relationship with my dads and some of the things that become clear over the years too. So I hope that what I've written really encourages, empowers dads and gives them a fresh vision. Sometimes dads get tired and they need kind of a picture of the fullness of fatherhood. That's why I wrote the book. There's really over 72 million dads in America.

I think that role right there is so significant. Sometimes we talk about America and some turnarounds that could happen. And I really believe it starts in the home. So let's talk to dads. Let's get real. Let's get honest.

And also some restoration, if there's been a difficult road. And I'd also say that when you think about fatherhood, I think of teachers, educators, mentors, coaches, and the impact. Because the teams I played on are like families. And coaches have played and shaped my life in so many ways, played a vital role. And I think if you've been involved in sports or you follow sports and you watch the relationship between the players and the coach, you see so many truths about fatherhood emerging from those relationships. It's interesting that you say that because at every level, whether it's pro sports, college sports, certainly high school, junior high and youth sports, you can see between some coaches and some athletes, that relationship that develops that goes far beyond just coach, athlete. How important do you think sports and having a coach, one who is a strong leader and a good father figure, how important can that be for kids? Well, there's nothing more important life than relationships.

And sports are about relationships and culture. And for me growing up, my parents got divorced when I was seven and my father was out of the picture. And then my mother had a boyfriend. I was close with him for a couple years, but then they were no longer together.

So he was gone. And then my stepdad came into the picture and throughout all those changes, I had different coaches that I really bonded with. And there's a special relationship with a coach because sports are really just an opportunity to talk and teach about life. And what you learn through the sport can benefit you far beyond your playing days. And I had coaches that were wise.

It was their character. Of course, they knew the sport. It was the way they treated me, trained me.

It was going into battle together. And I learned so much from them that applied not only in the context of sports, but then in the classroom. You know, I was really struggling in school up until fourth grade. Every year, I was getting lower scores on the national tests and I made a jump in fifth grade. And what happened there athletically and with the coaches really built into me in a way that I didn't have to get into me in a way that I was able to take some steps forward in school. And I ended up, you know, going to a college. But again, the coaches were a big part of my academic success and the discipline I developed in sports rolled over into the schoolwork as well.

So there's no question. I look back at my life, the way they filled in some gaps, what they taught me and just the life lessons that come. So if you're listening and you are a coach and you are a mentor right now, your words and your actions, how you set the example, like you're touching the generations.

There's so many kids. Well, a quarter of America right now doesn't have a father in the home. So you think about that in any team, 25% of the kids don't have a dad. So right away, they're going to be looking to their coach for far more than sports. I mean, I've got close friendships that decades later after I'm not playing for a coach anymore, still kind of feels like a dad. So it's a special bond. You see it on every level when the coach and the top player, let's say they're on the same page, there's alignment, it's character, you know, it's a strategy and it clicks, it works and there's respect. And that sets the tone for the whole team because if the standout player respects the coach and he buys into the system, everyone else is coming too. So that relationship right there, that's a championship relationship.

Jesse Bradley is a former pro soccer goalie. That's how he first connected with him, but he's also a pastor and has got a brand new book. That's perfect for father's day. It's available online, dadsandhope.com. It's called the four elements of fatherhood.

And he's with us here after hours on CBS sports radio. All right. You set me up there with the title. What are the four elements of fatherhood, Jesse?

Okay. The first one's connected because love is the most important thing in life. And a dad can bring love. And that love is going to be expressed through time, listening, entering in emotionally. One trap I've got to watch out for is that I don't work really hard and then just show up at home with just the leftovers, you know, not much to offer and not much connection.

So enjoy your family. That's the first one. It's relational, connected.

The second one's invested. That's your time, talent, and treasures. And that's how you serve.

You use your gifts. You make a difference. You know, my son and I ran a half-time job and I ran a half marathon recently, and it was a stretch for both of us, but it was a great cause.

Clean water for kids in Africa. And we didn't just want to talk about making a difference. We wanted to do something together.

So Tacoma half marathon, we did it. And so the first two connected and invested. The third is rested. And it's important to get sleep. It's important to set limits, have boundaries, and it's good to have hobbies, to laugh, a non-anxious presence. But also this is your inner condition. And for me, God's love changed my life. I got a security there, like an anchor for the soul. So it's that deep peace, shalom.

It's greater than our circumstances. And that's part of being rested. And then the last one's tested because you're going to have trials and storms. They're not polite. They don't knock first. They just show up. They come into your life, your home. They're unwanted a lot of times. But how do you respond?

Your kids are watching. And how you react to adversity. So you always choose your attitude.

You always choose your response. You don't have control over a lot of things. But when you act in reliability, purity, integrity, you leave a legacy. Your kids don't forget that. So those four elements, connected, invested, rested, and tested, I think they help dads break out. Because sometimes there's a stereotype that dads just bring home a paycheck. You know, dads do work on the house. And dads aren't very verbal.

They don't talk very much. But what's missing sometimes is the desire dads really have to go deeper emotionally and to go deeper spiritually. And those parts sometimes can be a risk. But I encourage dads to take that relationship risk. Be vulnerable.

Be honest. And when you share deeply, there's a deeper bond that happens. And it's a holistic view of fatherhood. And so I want to encourage dads to kind of spread their wings. And it's okay to be a little awkward.

It's okay to be a little vulnerable. And as you start to try to identify those and put words on it, your child's going to appreciate that. Because they probably already sense it. And then they can share about their lives.

So let's go deeper. And again, dads, I say this, there's a lot of people that can do my job at work. There's a lot of people that can play most of the roles that I do in life. But there's only one father for my kids. And if I'm the only one in the world that can play that role, that's significant. Because it tells me that I need to, you know, with God's help, do that role well.

And that's my heart right there. I agree with you that there is no replacement for a father. And so dads are significant. But as you point out, there are a fair number of Americans who don't have that experience, including me, Jesse, I have zero relationship with my birth father. My parents were divorced when I was one and a half.

He's not a part of my life. As you have people listening, who are thinking about the fact that there's a void there, and that Father's Day is actually really challenging. What is your encouragement for them?

That's right. And Father's Day can bring up mixed responses, because we have so many different stories. Credit to you, Amy, because to rise above that challenge early in life, I look at the statistics. And for those who don't have a dad, there's really an increase in dropout rates, teen pregnancy, crime, prison, suicide, like you look at the different categories. And there's a lot more at risk if there's not a dad around. So dads are significant, but you can overcome. And here's four general descriptions of dads.

The first one is abusive. This is really the most sad because the one who's supposed to protect you is actually hurting you and bringing harm. And with an abusive dad, the key is to forgive. And when you forgive, it's a gateway to the restoration process and the healing that can come. And there can be other dads or other men that fill some of that void. For me personally, my Heavenly Father was huge without a close relationship sometimes with my dad. Walk forward in that healing journey. Don't let that dad and how he treated you define you or hold you back.

And then second would be absent, which is also sad. This is what inspires me. I've seen a lot of dads who had fathers who are absent, and now they're very intentionally present and they're there every time their kid has a game. And after school, and they're always wanting to spend more time with their kids.

So you can take a negative and turn around to a positive. You can break the cycles in your family and you can start a new legacy, if the new trajectory and a new story. The third one's an average dad. And be grateful for your dad's strengths.

There might be some things disappointed, but just learn from that, right? And then the fourth one is an admired dad. Although that sounds awesome, sometimes it's tricky because some kids feel pressure, like they've got to be as good as dad and they'll never be as good as dad. But you don't have to copy dad.

You can keep that legacy going, imitate a lot of what dad did, but still be yourself and have that freedom. So having a dad in those different arenas, there's different challenges, but I just want to say there's so much healing. And a lot of times there's no healing until there's a revealing. So it's good as a first step to be honest about your situation with your dad. I mean, I admire your courage in sharing that and then be open to positive relationships. Because when you've had challenging or negative relationships, it's usually gonna be positive relationships that bring the most healing.

And you'll be discerning in trust, but then go deeper where it's safe and it's healthy. That would be my encouragement. Jesse Bradley is with us from Seattle getting set for Father's Day, a big deal across our nation.

It's After Hours with Amy Lawrence here on CBS Sports Radio. You now have four teenagers. You've identified that. So your youngest just got to age 13. Man alive, that's got to be challenging. So how does fatherhood change as they go from littles into teenage hood and high school and all the emotions that come along with that?

There we go. If you could picture our house, we've got papa shot in the living room and we are also the hub in the neighborhood. So the kids come over all the time. The chandelier has been broken several times.

The railing is missing on the stairs in one of them. The house doesn't look as bad as I'm describing, but I'm just trying to give you a picture that it's like my wife would love to have grass in the backyard, but there's two soccer goals and that grass doesn't last very long. So we're committed to kids. We're committed to fun, activities, sports, relationships, but it's a wild ride and it's different every day. So I am on my knees.

It's good for my prayer life. What I would say, you know, one thing that's consistent for dads at every age and stage is that dads are going to protect and provide. Dads are going to be honest and humble.

Dads are going to speak the truth and love, and dads are going to spend time with their kids, enter into their world. If they like Legos, I should be doing Legos. If they like, you know, a Minecraft, I should be watching Minecraft. If they love, you know, pretend play, then I got to find some pretend play on me with some dolls for my daughter. You know, it's like enter into their world and then even things like driving in the car, use that time to ask them questions, draw them out. They can't go anywhere.

So like, let's talk. But as they get older, I think the challenge is that there's so many physical demands when you're young, because it's like a conveyor belt of needs. Well, you got to change that next diaper.

They're not going to do that themselves, right? You lose some sleep. All those sacrifices you make physically early on. Later on, it gets a little more clever and a little more psychological, and you have to give them more freedom. What I've noticed, one thing that was hard for me is to hand the car keys over to my son. That, for whatever reason, was really difficult on the inside.

I tried not to make it too obvious. But turning that into a win, we flew down to California, got my parents' really old minivan, and then did a road trip and drove it back to Seattle. And we drove through the mountains in the snow. It was just one of those memorable times. So making those memories, turning something that would be challenging into something that would turn out to be really fun. And I trust my son as a driver.

It's just someone that I love, you know, so much is out there with a lot of bad drivers. But my kids have to be able to spread their wings. And even though I probably wanted four soccer players, I can't force them to all play soccer. So when they said I'm done with soccer, I've got to say you're done with soccer, and they get to choose their own sports. You know, they're doing wrestling, football, they're doing all these other sports. And that's great, because I don't want to be a dad that is trying to force them to be who I want them to be.

I want to be giving them opportunities and support to be how they're wired and the dreams that they have. The book is called four elements of fatherhood. And I saw a quote in which you were talking about the book and you compared being a dad to being a goalie. How is that possible?

Jesse? How is that possible? You know, in soccer, you got 10 people in front of you, if you're a goalkeeper, then you got another 10. And you've always got to be watching the field and you got to see what's coming, you got to anticipate, you got to be ready. And what I found with our kids is that, well, when they all invite about three friends over, I came home yesterday, and there's like nine kids in the house, right?

So it's almost a full soccer team. And there's so much you're trying to listen to one room, and then there's conflict in another room, or they're asking permission over here. And there's just a lot that's changing all the time. So you can have a game plan in any sport. But then you just got to jump into the action, you prepare, you get the scouting report, and then you get to know the other team and their tendencies. But after that, like, you just got to enter in and love them, connect, serve them set limits. Sometimes you take the hit because you might limit screen time, no teenager wants that you might say, no dating right now or you know, whatever you're going to draw as a limit trying to look out for them.

Anytime you protect them, you're going to sometimes not receive respect to later on think Mark Twain said, every year I grow and every year I'm older, my parents get wiser and wiser in my own eyes. So it's a delayed appreciation. But that's okay. I'll take that every time.

All right, before I let you go. There's a lot of incredible information and encouragement too. And it's dadsandhope.com from Jesse Bradley, but I want to know for you personally, what's your favorite thing about being a dad?

Yeah, my favorite thing I would say is that when they're born, it's a wonder. And it almost feels surreal. Like when they let us first child, okay, when they let us take him home, I just thought, isn't there some more training? Like, are we really ready for this? And there's just part of that that never leaves.

It's it's a stretch. And my son was, you know, screaming when he was first born. And then I went over next to him. And I just started talking to him because he had been screaming. And I started talking to him. And he heard my voice.

And he just calmed right down. It was like he knew my voice already from even in the womb. And when you have a child, you just realize every child is a gift.

And you feel like who am I to be this child's dad. And I think I just want them to have the best experience, whether it's academically, athletically, socially, spiritually, like, I just want them to know that I'm always here. I'm always for them. We just keep enjoying each other. And they make my life more rich and full.

And I just feel like it's an incredible honor to watch out over them and try to provide them with the very best. And I fail. Sometimes I don't connect as well as I could. And sometimes I get too caught up in work, you know, just admitting that. But it's just one of my deepest joys. And I just think it's one of the greatest gifts in your life if you have a child.

So even if your relationship's not good right now, just apologize and start to pursue your child, bring kindness, be consistent. And there can be a lot of healing in that relationship. Don't take that relationship for granted. It's one of the most important parts of our lives.

It's just as rich. Little did we know that when we first connected with Jesse Bradley over the World Cup and soccer, and his past as a former pro goalie that there would be so much more to come. And so it's awesome to be able to hear his encouragement. The book is called The Four Elements of Fatherhood. It is available online, Dads and Hope. It's actually an ebook, so you can get it electronically, dadsandhope.com.

On Twitter, Jesse J. Bradley is making appearances all over the country. And I have to say, Jesse, as someone who has that void in my life, I appreciate that you care so much and that it matters to you so much to be a dad. So thank you again for your wisdom and for your time. Amy, you do an incredible job of weaving life and sports together. And you've been so steady and I appreciate everything you bring. And if people haven't checked it out, go to Amy's Twitter, follow her account and then read the story that was just written about her, because that'll inspire you and you'll be encouraged. Whatever profession you're in, you'll be encouraged to bring excellence. Thank you, Jesse.

I appreciate that. If I even encourage a few people, that makes me happy. And I can tell every time we talk to Jesse that it's one of his passions in life to encourage people. And right now it happens to be fathers, whatever that looks like for you in your life.

It's an ebook, so you can check it out, dadsandhope.com. He's all about inspiring hope. All right, coming up, the Denver Nuggets. Well, they've given athletes and teams hope around not just the NBA, but other sports. In fact, a couple of football figures speaking about the Denver Nuggets success. And also, we've got the ratings from the NBA Finals.

It's after hours with Amy. T-Mobile's network can help keep you connected to all your favorite podcasts when you're out and about. Whether you're an early bird looking to dive into a daily news podcast or a night owl who wants to catch up on the latest reality TV drama, T-Mobile will keep you connected on their strong and reliable network. T-Mobile covers more highway miles with 5G than anyone. So if you need great coverage, especially when you're on the go, check out T-Mobile. Find out more at tmobile.com slash CY.

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But isn't that what you'd expect from the ultimate electric driving machine? Take advantage of exceptional lease and finance offers today. All rights on CBS Sports Radio. You are listening to the After Hours podcast. Eight seconds left to go. Casey's across the timeline and he'll dribble it out. The 47-year wait is over. The Denver Nuggets stand on top of the NBA world. They are champions and Nuggets fans from sea to shining sea can rest or die in peace. Getting you to the good half of your week.

It's the Hulk show on After Hours. Well, let's hope more are resting rather than dying in the wake of the Denver Nuggets winning their first ever NBA championship. Nearly 50 years in the NBA before that. A decade in the ABA.

So it's a franchise that's been around a long time. A bunch of goofy logos. Some awful color uniforms.

Just color combinations that should never be on uniforms. For those of you who remember the Denver Nuggets going back. But here they are. They've gone from the basement to the penthouse or from the basement.

They were in the basement for a long time. From the punchline to the penthouse actually sounds a lot better because they would be the joke of the NBA for many years. But not anymore with Michael Malone and Nikola Jokic and Jamal Murray and the cast that got this team not just to the top of the west, the best in the west, but breaking through to the promised land. Really cool to hear Jason Kosmicki and the emotion there on the Nuggets radio network. And of course it's a story that resonates around the world of sports. You know the Kroenke family.

It's Stan and it's Josh and their family. They obviously have seen a ton of success now with the Colorado Avalanche, the Denver Nuggets, the Colorado Mammoth which is lacrosse, and the Rams who they moved from St. Louis to SoFi stadium. Built that stadium and the Rams are now part of LA and that sports scene. Head coach Sean McVay, well he's proud to be part of the Kroenke family. I do want to make sure I congratulate the Nuggets. I mean awesome job by you know Stan and Josh, their leadership also with coach Malone and Calvin. You know I've been a big fan of those guys. Been following them. Yoke, Murray, you know Porter, all those guys.

You know I thought you know Gordon. I mean you talk about a complete team and watching the way that those guys played gutsy defense down the stretch to be able to close it out and then they're you know they're guys shining as bright as they needed to to go 16 and 4 in the playoffs. It was fun to watch them and it's pretty cool because I remember being being there a couple years ago when they lost to the Suns, being in the locker room with with them afterwards and just watching the way that they just kind of stayed to the course. The patience and leadership by the Kroenke family it was awesome to be able to see and what else can you say? I mean it's really impressive when you look at Stanley Cup, Super Bowl, winning an NBA title now and then you know being a part of a team in Arsenal that finished second in the Premier League, Champions League qualification. Pretty damn good owners right there so you know happy for those guys.

Do you think he got paid extra for that? There's a bonus for Sean McVay so yeah we'll hear from him at some point this week about the Rams but that was about the owners of his franchise the one they've obviously paid him a lot of money and he rewarded them with a Super Bowl win going back a couple seasons ago and then now I promise we'll hear more from Odell Beckham Jr. as he returns to practice with the Ravens but it was kind of fun to hear him as someone who plays a different sport on you know that not should say the other side of the country but two time zones away but being able to connect on kind of that level where hey this is all pro athletes what we want to do what we want to do is to win a title. I'm sitting right there and I'm looking at Jamal Murray's the intensity he has in his eyes knowing he has an opportunity to win a ring or you see these guys like it's always motivating for me. It's cool to like enjoy the atmosphere of a game but I really go to watch as an athlete not like a spectator like I really get motivated by watching my brother Deebok play or watching LeBron play watching KD watching these guys who in their respective sport is the same mentality as I am and they want to be great.

No doubt there are many pro athletes who are inspired by the feats of strength and the team accomplishments and I can imagine back-to-back nights when you see first the Larry O'Brien trophy and the confetti inside ball arena and then all the electricity in Las Vegas with the Stanley Cup maybe the most iconic trophy in sports and to be inspired by that and to know hey our season it starts in just a few months and that is the goal that shiny hardware pretty cool. All right we'll do more from the football world as we head through this final hour and a half of our hump show but straight ahead ask Amy anything you got a few minutes left on our show Twitter After Hours CBS also on our Facebook page thanks for hanging out with us. You are listening to the After Hours podcast.

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To learn how to drive more business and how Odyssey can help get your message to your customers visit stateofaudio.com that's stateofaudio.com. This is After Hours with Amy Lawrence time to ask Amy anything sort of. Man it's been so busy on this edition of the hump show I haven't even had a chance to cheat and look at your questions really kind of peruse them I guess quickly because it makes me nervous when Jay springs some on me that I haven't had a chance to prepare for. It used to be that producer Tom going back to the beginning of After Hours would let me know if there was one I needed to prepare for and I don't remember exactly what the one last week was that I it completely caught me off guard as about revenge or something and I had no answer so yeah I sometimes fail miserably at asking me anything so that's why I cheat but I don't know what he's going to ask so I get caught anyway. It's After Hours with Amy Lawrence it's our hump show it's your chance to hear your questions answered if your host is on the ball. Well we will start here since we just had Jesse on who was talking about his new book Joe asks you do you think you'll ever write a book? I might but not while I'm working full-time in radio that's not possible it's not possible to carry this schedule and keep up with everything that I have to keep up with and also be an adjunct professor now and so in the springtime it's out football and the fall is crazy just not at this point in my life there's too much going on but maybe someday for now it's my blog which I'm have a renewed energy and have a couple of posts now since the beginning of the year and as we get closer to the first year one year since losing Grammy Helen I will be writing a letter to her that I'll also put on my blog so for now it's the blog that has to fulfill the writing. And we touched on this a little bit in the beginning of the show but Phil asks you now that the NBA Finals and the Stanley Cup final over what do you look forward to? Vacations so coming up next week doing a hiking a hiking trip with Bob which will be fun and my first chance to see him since March which we're really looking forward to it's been a long road but that's not the only thing I've got a couple of cool experiences on the horizon I finally get to see my all-time favorite composer John Williams in person he will be conducting Tanglewood in Massachusetts that's early August I'm going to a show with a friend in Lancaster Pennsylvania also in August July I'll get to see my best friend she's gonna fly to Houston and spend some time with me there just got some fun events and adventures on the calendar in the fall or excuse me in the summertime before we get to the fall which is the start of football. And now since it's the summer and we all know you over your yard and the flowers Diana asked do you have any bird feeders in your yard and if so do you have a favorite bird or type of bird that comes to visit? I don't have any bird feeders though I did actually order a hummingbird feeder last year and didn't have a chance to put it up so I'm hoping Bob will help me but yes I do have one it's in a box though it's not up in the yard I would love love love to see the hummingbirds visit my yard my mom has them in Texas and it's amazing to watch them and actually when I was in Arizona visiting my uncle I was hanging out in his backyard by the pool and the hummingbirds were sitting still on a cactus I'd never seen that before I actually have a picture of a hummingbird just sitting on a cactus its wings were not moving it was not flitting or or buzzing through the air no it was actually sitting on a cactus so that was pretty incredible I'd never seen that before so I would like to see hummingbirds in my backyard but right now I do have two sets of cardinals they're matched pairs or they're pairs two sets of cardinals and two sets of bluebirds no I'm sorry not bluebirds blue jays that live in my backyard because I have a very tall back boundary of pine trees and so the cardinals and the blue jays go in and out of the pine trees and so I've got a couple of sets of them in my backyard in addition to the rabbits who continue to dig holes in my yard which is annoying as all get out get your own world series back there yeah oh yeah so Luna asks have you ever considered submitting any of your baked goods to a co to a county or state fair competition I have wondered if I could potentially submit them in a contest I've never tried though two other things that I've considered submitting for contests one is my chili because I'm big fan of the chili that I make and I have a bunch of different versions and in fact the chili I made over the weekend had bacon and olives and it is delicious little tomato paste in lieu of extra tomatoes and it's so good so that's one that I've considered submitting to a contest another would be for a photography contest because I have a few photos of clouds as well as one of the American flag on the back of a boat with the freedom tower across the water behind the boat it's I mean it's one of those once in a lifetime photos and my mom's even said to me you need to submit that for a contest just a perfect capture so I have considered photography contest and chili cooking competition haven't done any of it but you know would be willing how many times have I said to you that your photos could be in the National Geographic Museum or a magazine or something yeah no you definitely have especially the ones that I take on the beaches when I go on vacation like when I was in Atlantic Beach North Carolina last year there was a crazy storm moving in and the photos I got my mom thinks they look like aliens descending from the sky it's just the cloud formations and the dark contrast with the light around the clouds oh yeah they're awesome some of the Grand Canyon ones from the base oh yeah insane thank you I appreciate that Jay all right well this one comes in from Paul Paul asks how old are you when you knew this was what you wanted to do with your professional life and did anyone help you or did anyone help inspire you along the way no no 16 years old is when I knew I wanted to be in sports talk radio or sports radio I didn't know it was going to end in uh talk it's not ending here sorry wrong word I didn't know it was going to land me in a sports talk profession or a sports talk path but this is how I pay the bills uh but yeah 16 years old decided I wanted to be a play-by-play announcer and I suppose if you're saying inspiration like who I heard and who made me decide it's what I wanted to do that would be Johnny Most Glenn Ordway uh Boston Celtics play-by-play going back to the days when I was growing up in Concord New Hampshire and we did not have cable tv so I had to listen to my beloved Celtics in the late 80s and early 90s on radio so yeah Johnny Most and that gravelly voice the hall of famer and then Glenn Ordway who I think recently retired from doing sports talk for our Boston affiliate WEEI this one comes from Stephen who asks what is your favorite star wars item that you own oh by far it is a framed poster signed by Carrie Fisher now I just got the poster as a gift from a listener believe it or not his name is Danny and I really really really appreciate that he knew me well enough and cared enough to send this poster I framed it and it's now hanging in my office right next to the piano it's signed by Carrie Fisher which of course means more to me now and it's a poster of the original trilogy so not any of the newfangled stuff no it goes back to the original set of movies and the original characters and everyone who comes to my house I show it to them including Bob he will see it uh coming up in a week well speaking of which this one comes in from a man named Bob not how do you know I guess it could be right and Bob wants to know what is the hottest pepper you could eat oh I can't even eat a jalapeno the hottest that I can do really is medium salsa that's about it I can't even do hot sauce I can do horseradish sauce if it's diluted a little horseradish if it's diluted a little bit by sour cream I make a great horseradish dip but I can't do ghost peppers I can't do anything like that my brother's family they love the hot peppers but the best I can do is see if you mix a jalapeno in with some other food maybe I can do it but not really the jalapenos make the top of my head burn so yeah I'm not great with the spicy peppers once you go much hotter than a jalapeno it's like ruins the taste of anything anyway okay I'll just take your word for it well this one comes in from David who wants to know what are a few things your mom has taught you about life mom taught me generosity and that came from her parents so my maternal grandparents passed along an incredible legacy of generosity mom has also tried to teach me for years I would say I'm better at it now than I used to be a lot better than I used to be she's also tried to teach me to respond instead of react so don't fly off the handle don't speak immediately even if it's something that you hear from someone else that may be hurtful or they spoke in anger or they criticized you first reaction is always for me to just open up my mouth and react but what she has tried to teach me for years is to wait to take a breath to respond after I take time to think about it she's also tried to teach me patience for years that's only slightly better and then when I was a kid she made me apologize and she's taught me how to say I'm sorry I used to cry before I would apologize when I was a kid I don't love it now but I believe that saying I'm sorry and apologizing is the key to any successful relationship whether it be marriage family friendship even professional relationship being able to say you're sorry and you were wrong is critical and we'll close here with a little rapid fire so frosted flakes or cheerios cheerios ice tea or lemonade lemonade krispy kreme or dunkin donuts oh I love krispy kreme jupiter or saturn jupiter's bigger venus or mars venus because men are from mars helicopter or hot air balloon ride air balloon ride oh I so desperately want to take a helicopter ride I never have maybe going to Hawaii someday and and flying over the volcanoes would be amazing or potentially going back to Alaska and flying over the glacier though I'd prefer to be on the glacier not above the glacier yeah it's on my bucket list to ride in a helicopter I've always wanted to I never have so one of these days that will be checked off the list too thanks for your questions it's our hump show here after hours with amy lawrence cbs sports radio do you hear that that is the sound of bmw performance without a single piston or cylinder a generation of all electric vehicles designed and built like no other the bmw ix i7 and i4 revolutionize every drive into a thrilling opportunity to feel the pure rush of bmw 100 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