Foolproof Reproof [Part 1]

Allen Wright, pastor, Bible teacher, and author of his latest book, The Power to Bless. Wouldn't it be a good thing if you just, you just start and say, Lord, you know, your word says to guard the heart vigilantly, because now the heart is the spring of life, and everything that's coming out of me is going to be coming out of my heart, so Lord help me to know my heart.

If you're wondering whether you should speak to someone and correct someone and bring a reproof or tell them that you've been hurt, you know, maybe you just start with, Lord, help me see my own heart. What is it that I hope will happen? That's Pastor Alan Wright. Welcome to another message of good news that will help you see your life in a whole new light. I'm Daniel Britt, excited for you to hear the teaching today in the series Foolproof, as presented at Reynolda Church in North Carolina. If you're not able to stay with us throughout the entire program, I want to make sure you know how to get our special resource right now. It can be yours for your donation this month to Allen Wright Ministries. So as you listen to today's message, go deeper if we're happy to send you today's special offer. Just contact us at pastorallen.org, that's pastorallen.org, or call 877-544-4860.

That's 877-544-4860. We'll have more on this special offer later in the program. But now, let's get started with today's teaching.

Here is Allen Wright. Are you ready for some good news? You know, sometimes you can lovingly correct someone, point out something to them that could help them grow, constructive criticism, and they will thank you for it, and they will receive it, and they will grow as a result of iron sharpening iron. And sometimes it doesn't work that way.

But what's the good news? The good news is that God, by His Spirit in you, and by what He's done for you in the gospel, can give you direction about this. Because relationships are complex, aren't they? And God can direct you. As we continue in Proverbs, our series called Foolproof, I want to show you four different Proverbs that are related today, and that will address some of the complexities of this whole issue in human relationships. Starting with Proverbs chapter 9 at verse 8. Proverbs 9 verse 8 reads, do not reprove a scoffer or he will hate you.

Reprove a wise man and he will love you. And then if you're following along, look over into chapter 19 of the Proverbs. 19 verse 11. Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

And it's his glory to overlook an offense. And then the chapter next to it, chapter 20 at verse 22. Do not say I will repay evil.

Wait for the Lord and He will deliver you. And then one more, the most famous of these Proverbs on how we interact with one another when we're not in perfect agreement, is Proverbs 27 at verse 17. Proverbs 27 verse 17. Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. It literally means sharpens the face of another, because it's kind of a play on words, the face of a sharp blade and the face of another.

Iron sharpening iron. So four texts that, well, they're quite interrelated, and if you took any one of them alone, would give you only a piece of the wisdom. Okay, so what would you do? I am in my first big job, in a big church, in a big city, and I'm a lowly seminary intern my first week at the First Presbyterian Church of Atlanta. And I'm nervous and intimidated by this big staff, and I want to make a good impression, and I want to start out well. And one of the experienced associate pastors is taking me out to lunch, begin bring me on board. And I don't know him at all, and he takes us down the street to a trendy local lunch spot on Peachtree Street.

Now you need to understand that there are two things about this associate pastor that are important for this story, and the first is, I didn't consider him to be sort of a warm and chatty type person. And secondly, he had a wiry beard. Now the reason this is important is because we sat down to lunch, and he ordered a big salad that was smothered with bean sprouts. Now these bean sprouts might have been healthy for his body, but they were not healthy for his beard. And it started out with one or two bean sprouts clinging to the beard. But as lunch progressed, that rather thin beard of yours began to become quite full. If you're not familiar with bean sprouts, they approximate the size and shape of a male facial whisker.

Because they're so light, I suppose if you have a beard and they get in there, you don't feel much of a tug of gravity. And he just didn't have any clue that he was sitting there in this trendy Atlanta lunch spot with a beard filling up with bean sprouts. I asked again, what would you do? On the one hand, I could tell him, brother, you got you might have a bean sprout right right there. But I knew if I pointed out a little bean sprout, that he's gonna look back at me wondering, did I get it all?

You know how people do. Like, did I get it? You know, if you tell somebody got something in their tooth, they're like, would I get it? And if he said, did I, you know, did I get it?

I was gonna have to say, well, no, there's one over here and here, there, there, you know. I mean, in order to be actually honest with this guy, I would have to say, brother, listen, your whole face is full of bean sprouts. I mean, you, you, you just, you might as well go over there and put your face on the salad bar and let people bring tongs over there. I mean, I couldn't help the brother without just, you know, telling him the whole, the whole thing. So, I just decided to not say anything. And I just tried throughout lunch to look him in the eye rather than in the beards.

We walked back down Peachtree Street and go back in to the administrative wing of First Presbyterian Church. And I knew that somebody that knew him better would be able to inform him of his little problem of the beard. Now, what's interesting about this situation is that in that particular moment, I decided not to say anything, but I was imagining, wonder if it'd been the other way around, wonder if I were the one with the wiry beard and bean sprouts filling it up. And I started thinking about different people. If I were to have lunch with my 19 year old daughter Abigail, and I was the one with the beard, if a bean sprout, one bean sprout, got in that beard of mine with my daughter, she would have been telling me before it had become fully lodged, there would be no hesitation.

My daughter would be very eager to tell me, lest we both be embarrassed. I was thinking if I was at lunch with Executive Pastor Chris Lawson, and I had a wiry beard and bean sprouts guiding her, what would he do? And I realized he would let them stay there and then follow me around all day just laughing at me behind my back. I'm just saying that Proverbs 9 verse 8 is an example of how God's Word for wisdom in our lives is not a static thing. It's not always black and white, but real wisdom, this skill for living in real life in a real world is more fluid than that. Do not reprove a scoffer or he will hate you. Reprove a wise man and he'll love you. In other words, God's Word is saying there are times when it's best to correct somebody and there are times when it's best not to. And so real wisdom, the more I study Proverbs, I see is not getting a concrete set of guidelines that tell you what to do in every situation in life. There is no scripture that says if you see a man with bean sprouts in his beard, thou shalt tell him or not tell him. And it gets even more complex from the text that we read in chapter 19 and that good sense makes one slow to anger.

In other words, if you really have wisdom flowing in your life, you're not quick to take offense and get angry over something and in fact it says it is his glory to overlook an offense. That's Alan Wright and we'll have more teaching in a moment from today's important series. Ever feel like something's holding you back as if you lack an important key that could change everything?

Is there someone you love who seems stuck? You'd like to help them but how? What's missing? Blessing. We all need a positive faith-filled vision spoken over our lives. You can learn how to embrace the biblical practice of blessing through Pastor Alan Wright's new book, The Power to Bless, which quickly became an Amazon number one bestseller after its recent release. Until now, the hardcover book has only been available through retail sales but this month, Alan Wright Ministries wants to send you the book as our thank you for your donation. When you give this month, you'll not only receive the best-selling book but you'll also receive a free five session video course in which Pastor Alan teaches how to bless and covers content not found in the book.

The video course includes a detailed study guide perfect for personal growth or small group discussion. Make your gift today and discover the power to bless. The gospel is shared when you give to Alan Wright Ministries. This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you give today, we will send you today's special offer. We are happy to send this to you as our thanks from Alan Wright Ministries. Call us at 877-544-4860.

That's 877-544-4860 or come to our website, pastoralan.org. Today's teaching now continues. Here once again is Alan Wright. Now if you were to take that Proverb by itself, you might think well what God wants us is to always overlook every offense. But that's not entirely true because the famous Proverbs 27 17 says iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. He's talking about the fact that the the second thing is hard is how you can sharpen a knife. You can't sharpen a knife against something soft. It just cuts it. So there's a time in which there are two things that seem hard against each other are actually helping one another. It's a silly illustration to talk about bean sprouts, but I bring it up because something like this will happen every day of your life.

And it leaves us with some important questions. How can I correct someone I love without it coming across wrong? How do I correct my children without exasperating them so that they start tuning me out or running away from me? What do I do when I've been hurt by someone? Should I just try to forget about it? Or do I always let them know that it hurts? And if I tell everyone that I feel hurt every time that I do feel hurt, won't they just tire of me? And what if I feel hurt but my feelings are just an overreaction? What if I'm just too sensitive?

Well what if I don't say anything? Am I letting my boundaries be blurred? Am I becoming a doormat for someone else's insensitivities? How can I be that iron that sharpens iron without needlessly offending? If someone hurts me and I don't tell them, won't I end up just being bitter on the inside?

Don't I need to get it out? You see the kinds of complex questions that we have in human interactions all the time. And some Christians seem to feel like that they should always correct everybody about everything. And they aren't necessarily wrong in what they're seeking to correct, but they can come across pushy and self-righteous. And there are other Christians I have known who seem to feel that they shouldn't correct anyone at any time.

And they are quite merciful and seldom ever offensive, but don't help people that much and can come across as mousy and too concerned about what others think of them. And so I want to try to help us wrap our arms around one of these proverbs that are in many ways complex and yet become simplified when you understand some foundational principles from God's Word. And I want to point you to what Jesus has done for you that makes it possible for you to respond by the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Let's start with this. I think that in order to know whether you should correct somebody, it starts with know yourself, which is to know where your own heart is. Discerning the intent of the heart is the beginning place of understanding yourself. And as you can understand your heart, then you will understand your motivations. And it will help you be in step with the Holy Spirit to guide you. Proverbs 4 23 tells us to keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life, the heart, the deep core of one's being, perhaps a connecting point between soul and spirit, the feelings, the direction, and deepest intuition. And much of our connection with the truth of God comes flowing out of the heart.

And we're instructed therefore to guard the heart, to protect the heart because there's something deep within you that is like a well and what comes out of your mouth is being is like water that's being drawn out of that well. And so I think you start with knowing your heart because if your heart isn't pure towards someone, meaning if you don't want it to go well for that person, then you aren't in a good position to correct them. If you don't want it to go well for that person, you're not in a good position to correct them because you're likely going to hurt them consciously or unconsciously. Because if you don't want it to go well for someone, then it means that some unconscious part of you is wanting it not to go well for them and it's nearly impossible to bring a type of godly reproof that's actually helpful to someone when you aren't for them.

Whether it's true at this point doesn't become the primary issue. The primary issue is whether you have the heart to be able to tell them. All good instruction in our lives depends upon someone who cares about us, who knows something that we need to know.

There are a lot of people in your life that know things that you might need to know, but the ones that will really teach you are the ones that care about you. You'll be happy to know I continued this year my new tradition of not only being up in the mountains at Montreat Conference Center over the 4th of July, but I've taken an arts and crafts class at the Arts Center there. Last year some of you may remember as it made it into a sermon that I learned to handcraft a bear out of clay, glazed it, it was beautiful, and entered it into the Dixie Classic Fair where I experienced a travesty of justice when my daughter Abigail's duckbill platypus of a bear won a ribbon and I won nothing.

Some of you may remember. So this year I decided not to make anything out of clay. As a kid I I did some painting. My medium was acrylic paint and they had a class on watercolor painting.

I'd never tried it before and I thought I'd give it a try. And I went to the class and I was nervous and I for good reason. I was terrible and the teacher was very nice. She had been a professional watercolor painter for 25 years.

She just returned from a season of plein air painting in Italy and France. And but I realized early on she was going to be a good instructor because she she cared about helping the student. You know can't you just tell right early on is somebody for you or are they just trying to show you how much they know.

And there's a big difference between that. And every good instructor I've ever had in my life was like this. They cared about you as the student. I've had some professors over the years that they clearly didn't care at all. They cared about their research. They had their tenure and the student was almost in the way. And in that situation that doesn't matter how much they know.

They're just an intellectual snob. But a teacher cares about the student. So know yourself. You know wouldn't it be a good thing if you just you just start and say Lord you know your word says to guard the heart vigilantly because out of the heart is the spring of life. And everything that's coming out of me is going to be coming out of my heart. So Lord help me to know my heart.

If you're wondering whether you should speak to someone on correct someone and bring a reproof or tell them that you've been hurt. You know maybe you just start with Lord help me see my own heart. What is it that I hope will happen?

What is it that I will hope will happen? It's a wonderful thing to take self-inventory and especially in our relationships and marriage relationships and parenting relationships and our dearest friendships. The things that are absolutely most valuable in all of life.

Right? The things that are most valuable in this world are not the physical things that we have. But it's our relationships. And so wouldn't it be wise to heed Proverbs well and before we speak to just say what is the intent of my heart here? If you have a car that you love and you take care of it and you polish it. You know your intent is you want it to shine and you want it to look good. And if it has something broken you want to repair it. Well you know your intent.

You would it would be folly to try to sit out there with sandpaper on your car's hood if you said that you loved that car. Because the the heart's intent of wanting good for it is the thing is going to instruct how you interact with it. And God can show you your heart in a matter. And what happens if you find that your heart is not right towards a person then you're not in a position you're not spiritually qualified to really help that person. And so that's the time in which you would stop yourself and say what first needs to be dealt with is I need to diligently guard the heart. That's where ministry comes.

That's where the healing comes is we bring our heart before the Lord. Alan Wright. And today's teaching in the series on foolproof.

I like this one foolproof reproof. And Alan is back in the studio here in just a moment sharing his parting good news thought for the day. Stick with us. Ever feel like something's holding you back as if you lack an important key that could change everything?

Is there someone you love who seems stuck? You'd like to help them but how? What's missing? Blessing. We all need a positive faith-filled vision spoken over our lives. You can learn how to embrace the biblical practice of blessing through Pastor Alan Wright's new book The Power to Bless which quickly became an Amazon number one bestseller after its recent release. Until now the hardcover book has only been available through retail sales but this month Alan Wright Ministries wants to send you the book as our thank you for your donation. When you give this month you'll not only receive the best-selling book but you'll also receive a free five session video course in which Pastor Alan teaches how to bless and covers content not found in the book.

The video course includes a detailed study guide perfect for personal growth or small group discussion. Make your gift today and discover the power to bless. The gospel is shared when you give to Alan Wright Ministries. This broadcast is only possible because of listener financial support. When you give today we will send you today's special offer. We are happy to send this to you as our thanks from Alan Wright Ministries. Call us at 877-544-4860.

That's 877-544-4860 or come to our website PastorAlan.org. Back in the studio Alan your parting good news thought for the day as we pick up on this new teaching, Foolproof Reproof. Proverbs say do not say I will repay evil but wait for the Lord he'll deliver you and that iron sharpens iron. We're tying all this together and you'll in what might be for some listeners the most important things you could ever hear that our lives we are shaped by the right kind of correction and we can shape others lives as well. There's so much wisdom in the Proverbs about how in the world do you receive correction and how in the world do you offer correction. It's rarely done right but when it is it is God's grace at work. Today's good news message is a listener supported production of Alan Wright Ministries.