ldquo Don rsquo t talk don rsquo t trust don rsquo t feel was the law we lived by rdquo says Frederick Buechner in his powerful memoir Telling Secrets ldquo and woe to the one who broke it rdquo Buechner is describing his experience of what he calls the ldquo unwritten law of families who for one reason or another have gone out of whack rdquo In his own family that ldquo law rdquo meant Buechner was not allowed to talk about or grieve his father rsquo s suicide leaving him with no one he could trust with his pain
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