Surviving Abuse...with Called to Peace Ministries.

The following program is recorded content created by the Truth Network. TheSteveNobleShow.com. And now here's your host, Steve Noble. Thank you Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve. Steve.

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Steve. I connected with Priscilla, a call to peace ministries advocate, to help a friend. As I began talking with Priscilla, my own story spilled out. Physical abuse was very heavy at the beginning of my marriage, but it was the spiritual, verbal, and mental abuse at the end that was the most intense. Likely because at that point my abuser knew that that was where he could get the maximum response and damage and keep the civil authorities out of the equation. As horrible as the physical abuse was, the verbal abuse was worse. It's taken a lot longer to heal from the verbal abuse than the physical.

Even after leaving, my abuser's behavior caused me so much anxiety. My woundedness, I wanted to fight back on his false accusations. I wanted to assert my worth by countering his belittling of me. But Priscilla helped me call myself and respond confidently with truth and wisdom. She then helped me understand how to talk to my pastor about what was happening in my marriage.

This was so important. I was able to clearly articulate the dynamics of abuse in our relationship without sharing overwhelming details that were only the surface of the more significant issue underneath. Coercive control. My pastors had received training in coercive control, so they were able to sympathize and understand.

They knew that what I was facing was not just a marital conflict, but was abuse. That began my journey of recovery with my church walking alongside of me. Several of my elders encouraged me to go to the Call to Peace retreat in 2021, and the church arranged for me to go. One elder, who's a well-known doctor in our local children's hospital, even told me he'd be on call in case my child with medical issues needed anything while I was away.

That way I could go with the peace of mind that everything was covered. At that retreat, my heart was heavy, and one evening after worship, I walked up to Priscilla and asked for prayer. The pain was so great, all I could say was, I can't, it's dark. Priscilla began praying over me. Then she shared, your name, Catherine, means a themed one, one who is valued. I was in shock. This was not who my husband had said I was. He had told me repeatedly, you are worthless.

He reinforced that lie with his words and actions, and I had believed him. But now I saw that from birth, God had given me a name that went against that curse. The next night at the lantern ceremony, we were asked to write a word on our lantern, something that God had been teaching us there. I wrote identity because God had given me the identity of being valued. My abuser had tried to destroy my core identity. Because of this, understanding my value and worth has been the most significant part of my healing. At this year's retreat, I also met my support group leader, Brooke Egan, in person. My support group was called to peace, has helped me process the lies from the abuse and helped me further understand my value and worth.

It's reminding me of my worth, telling me by their actions and words that I'm worthy of love. Through them, this truth has been able to sink within my heart. After years of abuse and isolation, my church family and called to peace have built loving communities of support around me.

My whole being has finally felt safe to lay down the load I've carried alone for so long. My church helped me get into counseling and walked with me through the aftermath. I found that my grief and depression were rooted not only in my abusive marriage, but also in the abuse I endured growing up. That generational cycle of trauma was strong in my family, but it's the spiritual abuse that has sunk its deepest into me. In my family of origin, I saw God's love as something I had to earn. I believed I had to be godly enough to receive acceptance. As a child, I became used to being the problem for everything. I interpreted my family's inability to love me as my fault because I wasn't godly enough, and I tried hard to become a better Christian. I was consistently used to control, demand perfection, and isolate.

I didn't know that it spoke of my value and worth to the Lord. For years, my sense of worthlessness has caused deep feelings of wanting to end my life, but I was told I wasn't allowed to struggle with that, and if I did, I'd ruin the family image before church and community. One of my pastors told me, you married your husband because the abuse you experienced was interpreted as normal.

He was right. My background set me up for my husband to control and abuse me. I continue to press on and fight for my healing and wholeness in Christ because I want my children to understand their own value and worth. When one generation confronts its wounds, there can be greater wholeness for the next generation. I want to be a cycle breaker.

The belief that abuse is normal, and I am unworthy of love and with me. Thank you so much, Katherine, for sharing that. It's been such a privilege to get to know you and to see you bloom and grow. You truly are a cycle breaker. Did you have any questions for her, Lauren?

Yes, and I do have two questions for you. One is there's pastors are possibly watching this. What would you say to a pastor or church leaders watching this about why they how impactful it can be when they walk alongside a woman coming out of domestic abuse?

It's an indescribable impact. My own children getting to see my pastors demonstrate what godly leadership is supposed to look like, what a safe community is supposed to look like, that has had such a great effect on me and my children that I just can't understate how how much pastors taking this seriously can do for someone coming out of this. Thank you. Do you have any other questions, Lauren?

Yes. And for anybody else watching this, what would you say to them that they're thinking about financially partnering with Call to Peace Ministries so that we can continue to serve you and other women who are going through this? I've heard so many times over the last few years how the numbers have been growing, especially after the pandemic of women coming out and needing help and whether it's the Protect the Flock trainings or the advocacy courses or even the support groups, that community is just, it is so vital and that all takes financial support to be able to continue. Yeah, it's such an important call for all of us. Catherine, God bless you, sister. Thank you so much for sharing. God loves you. We love you. And I really appreciate your willingness to share your story on there.

It's so important that people hear it. God bless you, sister, and have a Merry Christmas. All right. Thanks, Catherine.

Bye bye. And so, Mary, you want to follow that up? If any of the information we have shared with you today has touched your heart, maybe you've been through abuse yourself or you have a loved one who has, please reach out to Call to Peace for Help.

There are so many ways that you can get engaged. You can reach out to us if you need help yourself or you want to become a volunteer. You can be an advocate, a support group leader, or you can actually get involved in your own church and be a beacon for hope for women inside your church who are experiencing domestic abuse. And I also ask you just to perfectly consider how you can multiply your gift this Christmas and give a donation that will help provide peace into the next generation. We know that often people want to be really generous this time of year, and so we are seeking to raise $75,000 before December 31st. And every gift from a new donor actually is going to be matched up to $20,000 from an anonymous donor we have who's giving us a matching grant, and we are also seeking monthly donors. So we just super appreciate the support that's coming in. Our ministry has grown tremendously over the past three years, and having donors is absolutely vital for our sustainability and stability to continue to serve each and every woman that reaches out to us. We have waiting lists for our support groups and waiting lists for our advocates right now, and so we definitely need your support and help. So please perfectly consider how you can be a part of this ministry in serving women and domestic abuse all over our country and beyond.

Yeah, it's so awesome. What a great opportunity, and I appreciate that you guys put this in here. $1,500 helps six women with highly complex cases. $750 starts two new support groups for 20 women for $750. $400 for one training for a church and ministry leaders. $100 for a hotel stay for a woman fleeing for her safety. So that's some real flesh and bone to what you would do in terms of giving and supporting this ministry, and that $75,000 is the goal, right ladies? Before December 31st, you got a $20,000 matching donor who's anonymous, so you donate $750.

That's $1,500. So you got a donation out there for that, which is awesome. And then people being advocates, they can find all that information at the website.

Is that correct? Yeah, website to be an advocate, support group leader, or to get engaged with your church. And the website, as always, I put up several links today on the Facebook live feed if you want to check that out, but it's easy to remember.

Calledtopeace.org is the website called to peace.org. Lauren Rose and Mary Gifford, thank you, my sisters. Thanks for coming in. Always great to see you. You're welcome. Merry Christmas to you. Thank you for the work that you do. And again, friends, I'll remind you with knowledge comes responsibility.

Now you've got all kinds of knowledge from today. You're responsible to do something with that that glorifies God and serves your neighbor well. I'll leave that to you and the Lord. But apathy, as always, for a Christian is never an option. This is Steve Noble on The Steve Noble Show. God willing, I'll talk to you again real soon. And like my dad always used to say, ever forward.