This, this, this, this, this is The Rich Eisen Show.
Hoot, hoot, hoot, hoot. They said he went out of bounds inside the one. It's up for the third time in this game.
Washington gets a stop inside their own five. Live from The Rich Eisen Show studio in Los Angeles. Everybody keeps wanting to say I don't want anything to do with Carson because the young man doesn't deserve to have that all the time. Earlier on the show, NFL Network insider Ian Rappaport, Chargers head coach Brandon Staley. Still to come, writer and comedienne Sarah Tiana. And now, it's Rich Eisen.
Yes it is. Can confirm, sources say. And The Rich Eisen Show Hour number three live on the Roku Channel 210. We say hello to everybody watching us on every Roku device because the Roku Channel is free on all Roku devices. We say hello to everybody watching on Samsung Smart TVs or Amazon Fire TV. If you're watching us on the Roku app, we appreciate that. We're also free there. It's free to get the Roku app and the Roku Channel is free on it. The Roku Channel dot com is a way you can stream us for free on the old internet tubes.
On your laptop and all desktop computers. We say hello to anybody who's maybe missed the first two hours of this program. Where you been? We missed up Brandon Staley, the Los Angeles Chargers head coach, or missed hour number one with Ian Rappaport. Giving us the latest on what is going on in the National Football League injury fronts and quarterback controversy fronts. If you missed it, there's our YouTube page for some of it. YouTube dot com slash Rich Eisen Show.
For all of it, we're re-airing at the end of this hour right away on the Roku Channel 210. Right here on The Rich Eisen Show. We're pleased to have a frequently mentioned individual, but never guessed it. Frequently mentioned, never guessed it. Very few people are in this.
Called in. Never guessed it in person, but that's changing right now. Joining us on The Rich Eisen Show is somebody who we adore and I'm going to stop talking about as if she's not sitting to my right. You can check out NFL Pylon on Prime Video. We talked about it with Taron Killam last week.
And also the person who is riling up CBS Sports inside college football, the comedian and writer and producer, Sarah Tiana. Good to see you. Thank you for having me.
This is so crazy. I mean, I feel like I've been here a lot, but I've never sat here. You have. And you've been here with Cage Brockman before. You've corralled young children here on this program. You want to tell them what happened this morning? What happened? Oh, that he peed his pants on the way to school. Is that Chris or Cage?
Yeah, I mean, it's it's very like I feel like when I had Cage, I immediately now had two male children that I had to watch and feed and clothe and keep from falling down. So, yeah, this morning, he peed his pants right while he was looking me in the eye. I said, what's up? He's like, I'm peeing my pants. He flat out let you know. Yeah, he said, I'm doing I'm like, why did you do that? I had to pee. OK, makes sense.
So it will or will not be weird if I do the same thing, making eye contact with you in this position for the rest of this interview. I'm so used to it at this point that nothing really shocks me anymore between the two of them. Well, you know, it's interesting for those who are listening. Sarah, you are rocking a wonderful Braves pennant sweater. Thank you. And that's not like a hockey term or anything.
It literally is a sweater. And it's funny because I've known Chris way longer than prior to you and Chris being together. Never really heard him talk about Braves baseball. Never heard him talk about Georgia football.
Never, never, never even heard him go higher register about, hey, the Falcons can really sneak up on you. Never heard any of that. And now I hear a lot about it. Yeah. Now I hear a lot about it.
Well, Georgia was his fallback position for Syracuse, right? Yeah. All the time.
Well, they win. OK. He says we a lot. Was it was it was it a process? Was it was it right away? Did you have him at hello on those things or what? No, I mean, I didn't have him at hello from the jump. I mean, I saw him at the comedy store on the patio and I was like, that's my boyfriend.
And it took me like six months to convince him. Is that right? Yeah.
I know that about the meeting. Yeah. Yeah. Your old booker, Chris Burns, used to run the manager.
Yes. So brought him and then and then he would just text me like, how's it going? I'd be like, it's great.
He'd be like, good. I'm like, this guy doesn't know what he's doing. I'm like, and then I just completely lost interest. The worst conversationalist ever.
You heard me. Hey, how's it going? Great. How are you? Let's have a conversation. If you want to ask me out, ask me out. Don't just text me random questions. I'm not going to banter with you over text messages. Not how you get to know somebody.
Good lord, I had no idea what a miracle child Cage Brockman really is. He texted me on Valentine's Day because I was tweeting about the Grammys and so was he. And apparently he followed me on Twitter and I did not follow him. And he was like, oh boy, do you want to just go to Dave and Busters and like quit watching the Grammys? And I had to scroll back through to figure out who it was that was texting me.
And then I realized it was him. And I was like, no, I'm already like home and in bed. But if you want to go out tomorrow, we can. Dave and Busters?
Yeah. That was our first date. That was my, he knew I liked it.
She liked Dave and Busters. So I was like, I made sure I had a show at eight so that I had an out and then it ended up being really fun. And I said, I know you're taking me out the day after Valentine's Day.
And then she was like, by the way, my birthday's tomorrow. Yeah. So if we played What's More Likely back then? Uh huh.
Oh yeah. This would not have been the winner? Would not have been likely. Yeah. Not have been likely.
No. Hey, what a courtship. I don't know if you know anything about Christopher. You know, he's not a planner.
He doesn't think ahead. I know that Cage was disappearing like the McFly's in that picture. Yeah. Yeah. Like, like, again, if we had the same conversation about Susan, I. Yeah.
The photographs of our children in the in the in the Polaroid would be fading as well. Yeah. Yeah.
The good thing is you are here. And again, congrats on your gig with Inside College Football on CBS Sports. You are welcome. And then, of course, the NFL pylon show that Taran Killam does out of NFL Network. Yes. And you are you are as integrally involved in all that stuff, which is pretty cool. Yeah.
I get to co-host that. And it's really fun to kind of combine your love of two things. Right.
Just comedy and sports. Which is awesome. Yeah.
It's terrific. So, you know, here's what we're going to do on this program. You know, because you're one of the rare guests where you just we did this with Stone Street, actually. And this point last night, we just hang out and do our we do our regular stuff.
Let's do that for the moment. Chris Brockman, you did plan for this, right? You did. I did it last night.
I was home alone with our child. Let's do the What's More Likely, our Friday staple with Sarah Tiana hanging out with us. And you you'll chime in appropriately. OK, accordingly. OK, here we go. Roll it with our terrific production value. What? What's more likely?
Never say never, but never. Thank you very much. Let's go. Go for it, Chris Brockman. Hey, what's up, guys? How's it going? It's not a text exchange like back in the day. Got it. OK. Is that a call back? Is that a call back? Yeah. Hey, big game in Ohio, Rich, this weekend. Patriots Brown.
Yes. Huge game. I think we're going to see a lot of running of the football this week. Nick Chubb, your NFL leader in rushing yards, and Ramondre Stevenson had a huge week last week. Who has more rushing yards? Nick Chubb or Ramondre Stevenson? Ramondre had 161 last week. Nick Chubb's high for the year is 141. I'll go with Ramondre.
I'll go with Ramondre Stevenson. I'll do it. What do you think? You look at me like I'm crazy.
Yeah, I don't think it's going to be a Georgia Bulldog situation. No, I think so. It's happening here. Yeah.
Yes. You looked at me like I'm crazy. After Gurley, you had to become a chubby girl.
That was the whole that was how it worked. So I'm still a huge Nick Chubb fan, but I actually think it's going to be more of a passing game because I think Zappi is the future. Love it. We're going to mix it up. Stop. Here's why.
Here's why I'm going with my thing. OK. And this is the line that Brian Billick, when he was on this program multiple times, hates the most. It's that what will Bill Belichick? He always takes away the one thing you love the most. And he always would be like, no other coach decides to do that. Only Belichick is the one who takes away your most prized weapon. I think he's going to figure out how to stop this run. And he's going to say, I know Jacoby Brissett. Let's have him try to beat me with with Amari Cooper and Donovan Peeples Jones and knowing it's going to be a pass happy game because it's Zappi happy. Yeah, it's basically what you're saying. I love it.
I do love Zappi. All right. Let's go down to Miami, Rich. It's not top 10 worthy in your mind. And then a team that is, even though they have a worst record receiver to haul in 100 yards and a touchdown. Justin Jefferson or Tyreek Hill? I'll go Justin Jefferson. What about you?
Yeah, I take Justin Jefferson all the way. He's in a walking boot and who's throwing to him? That's always the question. Walking boot is fashion now. Nike made some walking boots. Yeah.
And he's in a walking boot limping around ping pong table shopping. That's not a good idea. I'll take Justin Jefferson. Yeah. I'm going to cross my fingers.
It is Justin Jefferson because I have him and Kirk Cousins on my fantasy team. Wait a minute. What? Yeah. That's the handcuff you have together?
I do have them together. Yeah. Which is double points. And it's been working.
It worked out three out of the five weeks so far. Kirk Cousins points in your league are worth two. Interesting. Interesting.
Like no crazier league than this guy's league, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You had to leave the house for that nonsense.
I always leave that. Yeah. Yeah.
I chose to leave the house because you're a smart, smart person. Yeah. What else you got over there, Chris? Okay.
I didn't realize we're doing this is Sarah here, so this works out. Two and three home dog to pull off an upset. Falcons or Seahawks? You want to take this one? Well, I mean, I think I always take the Falcons, but that's just fandom. Like you've got to put your real your real thinking cap on.
But I wouldn't move your fandom from the equation. No, but the Falcons are five and oh this year against the spread. So we are we play our games a lot closer and obviously like Seattle just lost a running back. And we've been great against the past, even though we just traded Dion Jones. So like, I definitely take the Falcons at home. I think we play better at home, too. All right.
I'll just for the for the you know what's good. I just think the 49ers have turned into the proverbial team that you don't want to face from last year. I think they're back.
So I think that that's going to be a very difficult. The 49ers always lose games they're supposed to win and they win games they're supposed to lose. Well, last week was one of them, don't you think? They were supposed to lose that one last week.
I guess it was just so bad with Matt Ruhl and which is why Baker Mayfield. Look, I want I like Gino. They're supposed to win this week against the Falcons, which is why they'll lose. Gino's a home dog. Gino home dog.
Really? Field goal. They keep on disrespecting Gino Smith.
Let him just keep on winning players of the month awards and then we'll just have them try to focus. All right. I'll take Seattle in that one. I think Seattle does go three and three. I'm probably going to take Seattle in the game day morning. Interesting.
Absolutely. Tune in Sunday. What else you got, Chris? The goats have kind of struggled so far this year throwing the football. So goat quarterback to throw more TV passes. Rogers or Brady? Brady only has one game this year with multiple TVs. Rogers thrown to four weeks in a row.
What do you think, Sarah? Let's see. Well, like you got Brady in Pittsburgh and Rogers. Brady has an injury to his finger. I think it's the ring finger. Not sure.
But he does have a injury. Did you really just you just went there? Did you really just go there? Yeah. That was very subtle.
Thank you. I see what you did. So I would I would technically say Rogers just because Brady has an injury. And I will go Tom Brady because Aaron Rogers is going to be looking up and he's going to be seeing Sauce Gardner.
Yes. He's going to see Sauce on Lazard. He's going to look at Romeo Dobbs and Dobbs is going to not be in the wrong spot.
He's going to hand it off and there's Quinnen Williams in his backfield would be like, what the hell is happening here? And I will say the Jets are happening. That's what I will say. Arielle X. No. J.E.T.S.. Yes.
Move on. AFC. AFC North team to get a road win. Bengals or Ravens? Oh, I'll go Bengals. Joe Burrows not going back to the Superdome and losing that game.
Really? He's going to go back in that spot. Mr. LSU Tiger. Tough place to play. Come on now. I know it's a tough place to play. It's early. It's an early game. Noon kickoff. So the folks there won't have to.
Not a lot of swing oil. Come on now. Have you been to New Orleans? I know you're going to go Ravens in New Jersey. They're taking on the Giants.
I mean, I just revenge game. I just feel like the Giants are a real team. Like they are very good.
And I think their defense is what keeps them in the game. So I would take I I think the Giants would beat the Rays. I'm going with Joe Burrow. There we go. Joe Burrow. That's where you want to point to the ring finger.
He's pointing to the ring finger around those parts. All right. We got another thrilling AFC South battle. Jaguars, Colts could be 9-6.
Sell it, Chris. How about what's more likely? Trevor Lawrence gets his third career 300 yard passing game.
Or Jonathan Taylor back this week goes off 150 in a touchdown. Oh, man. I don't remember how good are the Jaguars against the rush? I can't remember. They're pretty stout. They're better than not. Quite a real craptastic game last week. I mean, that's one of those again. You're what's more likely is where I think neither are likely.
That's the issue is sometimes you go so off the charts here. I just wanted to talk about this game. I know you want to talk about this game.
And this is a rematch of the shutout that occurred in week two turning right around here. I'll go Jonathan Taylor. I'll say that's what that's more likely here.
Yeah, I think that I think I agree with you on that. I would take Jonathan Taylor. I'm playing against Christian Kirk this week. What else? Let's hit the two big games. Biggest something's got to give. Something's got to give. By the way, for the radio audience, Chris went air quotes. You know, that's the thing.
When you're going to be like quotes like some quoted home. Oh, yeah. Does he really say, OK, the Bills second half defense? You know, they've only given up seven points in the second half this year or Kelsey's TD barrage.
He has four straight games against the Bills with a touchdown. I will go. Can I say both bills have given over seven second half points. And I say both. All right.
All right. And this is Kelsey scoring a touchdown in the second half. No, no. This is just Kelsey against the Bills.
He scored four games in a row. So what what what gives is Kelsey get shut out. I'll say Kelsey gets shut out. The Bills finally give up second half. I'm just as long as I'm pissing off Chief's Nation with my Raiders pick.
Stay consistent. I think the Chiefs are a second half team. So I would say that the Bills end up giving up points in the second half because the Chiefs are stronger in the second half. How about that?
The Bills will give up more second half points than normal and Kelsey won't go off. How about that? Straddle on the fence. All right. Last one.
Last one. More combined yards. Zeke and Pollard on the ground. A.J. Brown, Devante Smith in the air. A.J. and Devante in the air. Yeah, for sure. A.J.
and Devante. I think this is an Eagles game, guys. I think yes.
Yeah. The Eagles are no joke. I think the Eagles are no joke. And I think that Cooper Rush has not seen a defense like this. And I think they're going to stop the rush on the way to the pass and it's going to be a potentially long night. And the Cowboys will wind up saying, well, how's Dax Hand? That's the way I think it's going to go. Jalen Hurts hasn't seen a defense like this. That's what I'm seeing.
What is more likely? Yeah, I mean, I think the Eagles have the advantage because they have Jordan Davis. Nicely done. I'm a big fan of. And don't forget, Nicole. Are you right? Yeah, Nicole is there. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think he starts, but he plays very well when he's in there. OK.
He plays very well when he's in there. She's going Georgia Bulldog on us. Always. Is that your what's more likely? That's it.
What's more likely? There you go. Ladies and gentlemen. Good job, Christopher. Do you refer to him as Christopher as well?
Uh huh. Oh, isn't that nice? Does anyone else refer to you as Christopher?
Yes, just my mom. Well, our little cousins. I'd say Christopher. OK. They love Christopher. Christopher. Very good. Very good. Josh Neller just limped his way to first base in the middle of all that one man on top four.
Still to nothing. Yanks. Beautiful October day in New York City. I. Is anybody at the game? What do you mean? Is there anybody talking about?
It's a middle of the afternoon. I know that. So what? People in New York don't work regular hours.
They can go to this game. City never sleeps, Chris. Never sleeps. I mean, I could go on and on. What do you mean? Oh, my God.
This guy. This guy watches Staunton's home run. He's like, would that have been a home run? He says it wouldn't have been a home run in any other park.
He loves the whole idea. Is it the short porch and Yankee Stadium? Would it have been a home ball? And as if Wade Boggs doesn't have a Cooperstown as if Wade Boggs doesn't have a Cooperstown plaque because he flicked his wrist and doubled and tripled his way to the Hall of Fame.
The home run was for the Tampa Bay Rays. Come on. Look at the wrist. I mean, it's a really fun joke. As like as a joke writer, the short porch is really great for jokes. Is that right? Yeah.
It's so much fun. OK. You know what we're going to do? Let's take a break.
Well, I want to know who some some some sports comedy combinations that you think would work, that we need to maybe mine ourselves a little bit more. OK. And I have a story for you. Fantastic. That's what's called a tease. T.J. Jefferson's fantasy advice is is the pulpit ready? I mean, oh, yes, my brother. OK, that's right.
Four to a full rich number to dial. Sarah Tiana is here to take us to the weekend on The Rich Eisen Show. What's the fastest ball sport in the world? Not baseball, not tennis. It is, in fact, the sport of highlight spelled J.A.I.
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It's a word that gets tossed around a lot these days. There is a woman who went the distance, who broke ground as the first true influencer by living a remarkable life. Her name, Elizabeth Taylor. I'm Katy Perry. This is the story of the original influencer. This is Elizabeth the first. Elizabeth the first. The podcast.
Wherever you listen. Which is a lot. All right. Before we get it to the college football world, what's your story? You guys always talk about how it's so embarrassing that Chris told no more Garcia Parra that they had the same birthday. He really freezes up when he meets celebrities.
I will say that I think a better situation is an even worse one. We were at this is way before we had a baby. We went to the L.A. County fair and we see Keyshawn Johnson at the fair. And he is buying an ear of corn. And he goes, oh, my God, that's Keyshawn Johnson. I go, we should go say hi. I'm sure he he watches Rich's show or knows who you are. And so he's like, no, I can't. I'm like, just go say something.
Go say hi. And so he goes up to Keyshawn and goes, hey, Keyshawn, corn, huh? No, that didn't happen. He walked away like that.
That did not happen. Your opening statement was corn. That's all he said to him. Hey, Keyshawn, corn, huh? I had it in my head like, oh, God, this is terrible. This is the worst. We need to hear what we need to do. We now we now this is really bad.
We now need to get Keyshawn on the program. I don't know, Chris, I meet a lot of people like that. I also thought it was odd that he was buying corn at the fair. I do not profess to to know as many people or meet as many people or have as many people come up to me as, say, a professional athlete. Yes, sure. All right. One famous enough in this town in particular, Keyshawn Johnson.
And so I don't profess to know any of that. OK, but my my question for you is you wouldn't remember because I would. Somebody came up to me while buying corn and all they said to me was corn, huh? Hey, Keyshawn, remember that corn. I still remember being in Vegas once and I was getting pizza at.
What's the what's the Luxor? And someone was like, yo, love you on Dan Patrick show, bro. And I was like, oh, thanks, Chris. I've gotten as you know, I've gotten love you. People thought I was Bob Lee. I've gotten Bob Lee. I've gotten Dan Patrick. Matthew Berry.
Never. He's got Matthew Berry. Matthew Berry once thought I was Bob Lee.
No, I know. Yeah, that was pretty bad. It was really bad. It was like that's all that came out. And I was like, this is bad.
And it was like the Homer Simpson, Jeff Rogers back. Here's what I think we should do. And you know enough people in this town to make this happen. You also have the comedy chops to make it work. OK, I think what we should do.
And again, this may be difficult because I know that you have a family unit and you've got a child together. And, you know, Chris, not being home more than he's already may be out is a problem. But I think we should have Chris stationed in some supermarket here in Los Angeles.
Let's put it on the west side of Los Angeles where we think there are enough celebrities to go. And it's Chris, sort of like a candid camera walking up to celebrities in the produce aisle. And all he says to them is whatever they're holding. Yeah. You know, OK, broccoli, huh? Larry David, broccoli, huh? And that's it.
And see what their reactions are. It's Chris accosting celebrities and unsuspected, unsuspected moments of clutching vegetables. Right.
Well, as we know, he is not going to pick up lines. So we sell that. Yes, I can sell that. All right.
Sarah Tiana here on the Rich Eisen Show. OK, so inside college football on CBS, I know how much you are diehard fan of Georgia Bulldog football and just college football in general. Is this inevitable? Georgia versus Alabama or what? I mean, you're on the home of SEC football pretty much right now. And Alabama is taking on Tennessee and you'll be prior to that game this weekend. I honestly think this year that Texas is the team to beat. I think Texas Longhorns, Quinn Ewers, I think is the future. Even though I know Arch Manning is coming there, I think Quinn Ewers is the most fun quarterback to watch in college football right now. Obviously, I think Georgia is so great defensively that they keep our guys in all those games. And I definitely think Alabama, it's I feel like and I was talking to Chris about this a couple of weeks ago, just about how it's very hard for me to look at Bryce Young as a Heisman winner when he can be taken out of the game.
And another quarterback comes in and they still win. Right. To me, you're not a huge difference maker if it's plug and play. I think your coach is the difference maker.
So that's just like my own two pieces. So you think Texas, hold on a second before you continue on. You think Texas will continue on, win the Big 12 and make the college football playoffs and be a problem for somebody? Yes, be a big problem. I think they are a big problem.
Really big problem. I think they have all the pieces together. And I and I think you could see that Quinn Ewers is the difference maker because when he's not playing for them, when he's out these last few weeks, they had they struggled so much more offensively. He came in and was lights out against Oklahoma.
Like it was it was night and day. Right. And and so I think he I think it also could, you know, create a little bit of quarterback controversy with Arch coming there next year. Oh my gosh.
You know what I mean? So it's like, where could Quinn go after this if he doesn't want to stay in Texas? Maybe he'll go back to Ohio State after C.J. Stroud gets drafted because the Ohio State Buckeye fan base already feels they own him because he sat in the meeting room all last year. You know, like he could come anywhere. There's so many incredible places that this kid is going.
But I think one of them is for sure the NFL. I think he is so much fun to watch. So I hope they do a really great job this year. Obviously, I want Georgia to win it all. I always want us to win it all.
But it's very nice to see new teams with new talent coming up. So how nervous were you in that Mizzou game? Were you in Vegas? He told you because I reached out to him saying, hey, how's she doing right now? He's like, she's not home.
She's in Vegas. Yeah, but I was still watching him. I was still in that sports bar somewhere. Is that what you're doing?
I was watching it in my room because I was writing up stuff for the other games in my room. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Talk about multitasking. I try.
I try. Yeah. I'm sure you took a little bit of a break because that was the SEC network in your hotel room in Las Vegas, Nevada. I was watching it on my computer and then I was watching other games on regular TVs in my room. So you're watching games and coming out with like gags, jokes, material? Yeah, like I know what the what the other guys have picked. So I'm trying to watch those games just to like find any details. And then I'm researching games that I don't have access to. So I'm just reading all the articles and tweets about those games to see like what is happening.
And so it's like and then I have just kind of stock lines that I'll keep in the background. So who's the college coach? Is Nick Saban funny? Can you make fun of him? Like, is he? Oh, I make fun of all of them.
And whether CBS puts them out there or not. So who's the one that you think is the most, you know, ripe for comedy? Oh, I think Sarkeesian is the most ripe for comedy. I mean, for obvious reasons, but also like he's wearing these funny jackets and, you know, he's played it. Like he's coached for a lot of colleges. So there's always those jokes about like how he's still coaching for the other team because he's helping them win.
You know, stuff like that. Is Harbaugh funny? Harbaugh? No, he's not. No, he's not funny. No, because I mean, at this point in time, it's just law. No, just the cat. I mean, just making fun of him.
Sure. I mean, it's like how many more khaki jokes can we make? Like, I think it's already run its course. Yeah, I think there's just like it's like he's just also like not that dynamic, like his personality.
It's like and sometimes it could veer into political. So I don't want to go in that direction. So and and also like you don't want to kick a team when they're already down, which I don't want to do that to Michigan. They're already struggling enough.
They're such a tough. You're talking about their fifth ranked team that lost a spot because suddenly somebody thought Clemson was pretty good. Yeah, I don't. I definitely think Davo is right for comedy, especially with the NIL stuff. Lincoln Riley is always fun to make fun of because of money and L.A. and like any kind any time you can find those kinds of topics. Yes. Jimbo and Nick Saban had a whole beef in the off season and that was amazing.
Nothing that Jimbo likes more than beef. So, you know, something like that. I like it.
I like it. I just think the funniest thing Davo does is run down the hill. And it's some. How does he not eat it? Yeah, I mean, he's going so fast running down that hill.
I mean, all he's got to do is just catch a cleat wrong or whatever the hell is wearing. It's over. Yeah. And then then you've got material forever. Got material, material for days. What about the guys on on on the show?
Oh, Adam Zucker and all the oh, yeah, they're they're they're pretty fun. I mean, I started off pretty light. Yes. Because I didn't want to overwhelm them or make them hate me right away. So I've like slowly worked my way. And every week I get a little bit meaner or harsher. But then I try to make jokes about myself to kind of balance it. Just to say that you can you can make fun of yourself. Yeah. You know, Zucker is what the vision that I thought I would look like when I was on my bar mitzvah day. On my bar mitzvah day. I'm like, what can I look like when I grow up? That's what that.
And then, you know, it just didn't work. Well, I always told Chris, like he was like one of like I always thought he was one of the hottest sportscasters in the in the country. And so the fact that I'm now on a show with him is you've got a you mean a crush on Adam? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
OK. Yeah. From A to Z. Come on. He's a he's the whole alphabet.
All the way to Y in between. Chris, are we fine with this? Well, he's an orange man, so. Yeah. Good lord.
But that's the different type of matchup zone, bro. We're talking about here. Come on. You're fine. You're good. We're good. Understand.
I don't understand who's watching on their Roku channels in separate rooms right now. I'm just all over the call back machine right now. I know you're doing great. I'm trying to just try to not look at the baseball game, too. Yeah, I'm doing well. How am I doing? Not looking at the base.
Yeah, you're doing pretty good because you're doing better than I would be. I mean, in the middle of the conversation, the stuff bases loaded. Yeah. Miles Straw, who Yankee fans despise because he was going back and forth and rightfully so with the fans back in May. And he with bases loaded hits went so damn hard that that Cortez jumped up, grabbed it, landed right on his ass and threw him out somehow with like throwing a five hopper from his behind. And I didn't I didn't break stride.
I'm doing great. Thank you very much. I remember Chris and I were at Tiffany Haddish's birthday party. Right. And then Billy Crystal was there and Giancarlo Stanton comes up and then was it you that said it? Yeah, I said something to Billy. I was like corn, huh? All that Christine.
I was like I was like you can't love a guy like skin standing on your team. Right. Careful, careful. Don't don't Adam.
No, no. And then Billy goes, I'm surprised he didn't pull a hamstring at the buffet line. And then Chris goes, he's striking out all the ladies. Billy and I were riffing on. Is that right?
And then he ignored you completely from there on out or what? Oh, yeah. We had some heavy hitters at our table. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah.
We had a lot of people to talk to before you. He was my plus one. Yes, I know.
I know. I handed him off to you. He's not like you. We're at Tiffany Haddish's birthday party.
No, I'm trying to make him like a more like global all around. You know, when I met him, he had never even traveled. He didn't have a passport and I didn't even know how to handle that as a human.
Like, what do I need a passport? I don't want to go anywhere. I'm not a big travel guy.
That's what he said. I'm like, what do you mean you've you're not a travel guy just because you've never tried it. I treat him and my dad very similar where it's like I have to trick them into trying new things. So with my dad, like he never ate hummus. And one day I was like, do you want some bean dip? Well, I like bean dip. So then that's not me.
But I treat them very similar passport. I like complained about the price or something. Well, once we filled I filled out the whole thing for him. And then at the end, he said, one hundred ten dollars. I was like, that's for 10 years. It's eleven dollars a year.
He's the cheapest of all time. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. The coat.
One of the cheapest of all time. He's the coat. One of the first moments in the history of our show.
You can't just Scott Slimboat. I know. I'm trying not to beat up on Chris. Oh, it's fun. L.L.
is going to make a song about it. The cheapest of all time. I'm quick sometimes. All right. Let's take a phone call and we'll go to break. And then we've got your we've got your fantasy advice coming up.
And then Chris Brockman's gambling advice. That's coming up. Gabe in El Paso, Texas. Let's get it. Gabe's been hanging on for a long time.
Let's make sure we get Gabe heard. What's up, sir? Hey, Rich, what's going on? What's going on? Hey, Sarah, Chris, T.J. Brockman. How are you doing? What's up? Good. Hi.
Say hello to say no mindless. Don't forget MDT. Don't forget Mike Del Tufo. Yeah. They'll do for what's used to seeing him here on a Friday.
That's right. Chris, real quick, before I wanted to get what I wanted to talk to you about, my mom says that she loves you and NFL Game Day morning and that you have a sexy voice. Oh, hello. Watch out now.
Susie, watch out. Well, say thank you. And I'll be back on Game Day morning on Sunday.
Say hi to your mother for me. And I was going to say that, but I'm trying to be respectful. Why? I figured I'd take the what's on your mind, Gabe? Well, well, of course, I was going to I want to call an audible here. I wanted to talk about the and the Packers, but I know you're on cloud nine and I'm going to need a shot of or slam a couple of ayahuasca.
Oh, OK. So are you concerned about your Packers this way? Are you going all Jair Alexander on me that you're concerned about losing to the Jets? So what you're saying?
You know what? I'm on the fence about that. I mean, like, of course, I mean, we're at home. I mean, I do have confidence that we do have the edge, but it's kind of after our debacle against the Giants. Look, man, like I told you, I'm not worried about this team.
I think this team wins the NFC North when it's all said and done. You know, that's what I think. Don't worry about it. Hang in there, brother. By the way, sir. By the way, sir.
Yes. You have fans in El Paso. So if you do tour. We look forward to see if you do book a trip there. I would love to.
I would absolutely love to. And, Gabe, say hi to your mom. Yeah, Gabe, say hi to your mom for me, too. I went lower register on that one. Oh, stop it. He said Sarah had fans there and she should book and you were like, I would love to. Oh, is that right? Yeah.
We're just talking to Sarah. Which is very nervous because the game is on right here. Now it's tied.
What just happened? Rosario went yard. Really? Yeah. Home run in all parks, Chris.
It was a hell of a blast. There's some weird stuff going on with Cam Akers. That's what I'm reading.
What do you mean? What's happening with Cam Akers? He's out now on my on on the game. And what happened? Sean McVeigh said the team is working through the situation out with personal reasons. Oh, declined to say whether he thinks Akers will be a part of the team. Oh, my goodness.
Working through some things. Whoa, whoa. Well, I mean, if it I don't know who knows about speculating. But I mean, because I I thought the way that he was playing before he blew out his Achilles. And then he came back last year and how he looked coming back from his Achilles that this year would be a big year for him. Yeah. Yeah.
I thought this would be a big year for him. So it makes more sense that it could be something personal going on. Maybe it's a little I mean, who knows? I don't know.
Who knows? But he doesn't know if he'll be back with the team. That is a big statement. Yep. All right. Well, we'll take a break. He's not part of your fantasy, is he?
Oh, he was. We're going to we're going to just do this. Do you need Sarah's punch up? I can always use her punch up ability. I know we've got a lead pipe wielding professional on that front here.
All right. So it's a two to game top five in the Bronx. And the Indians are acting like they just won the World Series and it's pissing me off. And they're called the Guardians. That's how out of my mind I am right now. You know, they just got to run around.
We're focused, we're focused and we're we're going to break and we'll be back on the Roku channel with Chris Brockman's gambling advice, TJ's fantasy advice and taking you to the weekend. Yes, Mercedes Benz. When you open up a Mercedes Benz Sprinter van, you're opening up more than just doors.
You are unlocking potential, the potential to do your own thing and be your own boss and steer your own success and blaze your own trail. Each and every Sprinter van is built, designed and equipped to let you hit the open road and take on any goal you set to help you follow your own passions, reawaken that spirit of adventure and check all those big, bold, fun and exciting experiences off your bucket list. Owning a Mercedes Benz Sprinter van lets you live, work and play out your dreams, no matter how far off the beaten path they'll take you. And with 16 body types, your choice of a gas or diesel engine and thousands of ways to customize, a Sprinter van is capable and versatile enough to help you drive your ambitions wherever you want to take them. So now is the time to discover what it is that moves you most.
Don't wait, unlock your potential inside a Mercedes Benz Sprinter. CBS Sports Inside College Football, Sarah Tiana is here at big games this weekend, Alabama and Tennessee, just to name one of them. TJ's Penn State Nittany Lions visiting my Michigan Wolverines, an NFL pylon on Prime Video with you, Sarah Tiana and Tarrant Killam that's on every Wednesday prior to Thursday Night Football. Are you allowed to make fun of Thursday Night Football significantly? Well, this this week we went the opposite way. We called last the Broncos Colts game the greatest game we've ever seen. And why?
Because it made way for so many great athletes to shine like Colts punter, hack and you know. I understand. That's the way you went. That's the way we went. So I can't wait to see I can't wait to see the Commander's Bears break down this upcoming Wednesday. Well, I can't wait for that.
Me neither. I think what you should do is you should make some sort of a reference that one touchdown. It's similar to watching Bezos's rocket take off. TJ Jefferson, are you ready for dispensing of fantasy advice? Oh, yes, we are. The fantasy gospel, according to Brother Jefferson. OK, very good. You know, I love fantasy football. I do. And if love and fantasy football is wrong, I don't want to be right. But you see, I want to lead you down the path of fantasy glory, brothers and sisters. So all I ask is that you listen to the hymnal of Brother Jefferson.
Yes, indeed. All right. Now, you know, I'd like to start you off with who's not him. These are the guys who will not. And I repeat, will not lead you down the road of fantasy glory.
All right. And we're talking about Jerry Judy of the Broncos receiver. You know, the Chargers ranked number one against number two wide receivers this year. Jerry Judy's in number two starting quarterback Brian Callahan.
He's done a great job of locking down the inside. So Russell Wilson not playing that great. I'm thinking Sutton might get the looks. I'm saying stay away from Jerry Judy this week. J.K. Dobbins, another one. He wasn't using their two minute offense last week.
Ken and Drake played 100 percent of the two minute drill. Plus your boy Gus Edwards, Chris, he's coming back, coming back. I say you got to J.K. Dobbins, brothers and sisters. He is not him. Let him slide this week. And then Kyle Pitts.
I don't even think I need to say anything about what has been him. I thought I thought maybe this could be looking at the schedule. This could be a shootout. This won't be a shootout. No offense, Sarah. But your brother, Kyle Pitts, he's got to stay on the bench.
He's not even healthy to play this week because he didn't play last week. There you go. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.
All right. Now, brothers and sisters, these players. Yes, I say these players are going to lead you down the path of glory.
They're going to lead you to the land of milk and honey. Yes. All right. Ramondre Stevenson. You guys know how I feel about Ramondre, right?
Week one last year in the preseason. Rich, you know this. I picked Ramondre out of the special teams. And I said, that guy's got something.
The book of Ramondre, you have been reading from. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
Yes, sir. You know, here's a little weird stat, right? The Browns are the 32nd run defense in this league.
And he also ranked 31st in tackling and Ramondre brother Stevenson. He leads the NFL with 50 broken tackles. So he will run buck wild this week against Brownie the Elf.
Yes, Tyler Boyd. I just got a feeling that this Saints Bengals game is going to be a shootout. Joe Burrow is going to think he's back at LSU. He might throw seven touchdowns. He probably won't. But I think Tyler Boyd is in line for a huge game.
And, you know, I like to pick something that a lot of guys aren't talking about. And that someone or something is brother Alex Pierce, wide receiver of the Colts. Yes. His participation increased 75 percent in week five. He led his team targets.
I think his snaps are going to increase because I don't know what's going on with Paris, Campbell and brothers and sisters on the road to riches and diamond rings. Real players, they do real things. And that is the gospel, the fantasy gospel. According to Brother Jefferson. Can I get in? Let us play. Let us play. Brother Jefferson, can you damn the home plate umpire in the Bronx to hell? Is it possible when you're right now? I'm sorry.
I want to damn a man to temptation. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know Aaron Judge's shins were the bottom of the strike zone. I had no idea.
Well, he's a very tall guy. I need to breathe. I need to breathe. Yeah. All right. Let's get the end. Let's cleanse the power. NBC News emeritus Tom Brokaw introducing Chris Brockman's gambling advice. Once again, hit it, please.
Here's Chris Brockman with sneaky good games. Contests likely to surprise you with their heretofore undisclosed competitive value. All right, sir. What do you got over there? Hey, guys. All right, Rich, we're over 500.
Yeah. Three and one last week. Nine, eight and one overall.
Let's keep the good times rolling. I'm going to get two totals and two dogs. Jackson and Indianapolis. Jacksonville, Indianapolis.
I mean, this could be nine to six. I'm taking under under forty two. This game could be under twenty two and I would take the under Tampa Bay of Pittsburgh.
Also going under forty five and a half there. I honestly don't know how Pittsburgh scores any points in this game. We saw what they did last week against Buffalo.
And I'm going with two dogs. Patriots on the road. They're going to run wild all over Cleveland, as TJ just told you. They're going to win the game outright and Kansas City against Buffalo. But you're telling me I can get Patrick Mahomes and points getting some points at home. Yeah, I'm going to take that. Give me the Chiefs plus two and a half. OK, very good. I don't think Pittsburgh with George Pickens.
Pickett and Pickens are like the Pickett to Pickens team. I know it's going to have any time. What do you mean?
Not going to have any time. I was listening to a podcast earlier today. They think Pickens is not the answer. They think Pittsburgh might draft a quarterback next year.
Pickett or Pickens is the Georgia wide receiver. Which podcast are you listening to that says such a thing? I was listening to one on the Ringer. Ringer NFL people.
That's your problem. They know their stuff, huh? I'm just saying that the Steelers are going to already one start in. They're already abandoning Kenny Pickett. Has he looked good to you? Never say never, but never.
First of all, the speed of the game is like the hardest thing to learn. Apparently my new starting quarterback. Zappy Zappy Magic.
Zappy Fever. Catch it. Everybody check out NFL pylon on Prime Video Wednesday night and CBS Sports inside college football with Sarah Tiana. Sarah. All right. We made it.
We made it. Well done. Thanks for coming on, Sarah. Thank you for having me.
More often, more often. Great Friday fun stuff. We'll be back to wrap things up on Roku in a moment. For everyone else, let's chat Monday. That's that's an invitation. Go. Okay. Is your foot Ross? Hello, Ross. Available on YouTube or wherever you listen.
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