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June 18, 2022 7:00 am
Hey, you know. Time magazine's more children will go to sleep tonight in a fatherless home than ever before in our nation's history and you know growing up I was one of these children. My mom and my dad separated for a while while I was growing up and even when my dad was home. He wasn't really home if you understand what I'm saying and I think sadly a lot of you really do understand what I'm saying. Well, when I came to Christ at the age of 22 I made up my mind I swore before the Lord, that I was not going to be like my dad and so I began going to the Scripture and I began studying fathers in the Scripture, the good fathers and the bad fathers and I began trying to put together a set of principles from the word of God for how to be a godly father of father who would be a blessing to his children instead of accursed over the last 35 years I've tried my very best to live out these principles in my life in our family and I've also tried to share them with you. And that's what I'm going to do again this Father's Day.
In a message entitled the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.
I'm sure you understand that no one can possibly get all the principles of being a father in the one message. And so what we've done is we've uploaded a bunch of my Father's Day messages online on our website and when you put all of them together. I pretty much cover all the principles so I want to urge you just don't walk out here and say, oh, so that's everything I need to know about being a father know it isn't. It's only part of it. I urge you to go listen to these messages and I urge you to get the full story.
One more thing before we begin today.
Let me say that my message today is not just for fathers. My message today is also for future fathers.
All you young men who one day are going to get thrust into the role of being a dad with left training in most cases, then you have to have to get a drivers license and what I want you young men to do is I want you to do the same kind of study I did to listen today to listen to these messages to understand before you get into fatherhood. What you're really supposed to be as a father to put together a plan if you will. So going in. You know what it is. God wants you to do and you're not just fumbling around by trial and error for the first 10 years. My message today is also to mothers, especially moms who don't have a dad in the home or who have an uninvolved dad in the home and you've got to be father and mother to your children. These principles offer you. And finally, my message today is for future mothers because as you evaluate potential mates and you ask them about how they're going to raise y'all's children and by the way ladies you better evaluate guys and ask him those, questions that at least you'll know what kind of diet is you're looking for what principles you want to hear come out of his mouth when he talks about how he's going to plans to raise y'all's children and so you say will on. I guess what you're really saying today is the message is for everybody.
Well that's exactly right. That's exactly what I'm saying and so with that bit introduction. Are we ready are listed again here we go. Ephesians chapter 6 verse four says say the first word with me out loud ready. No say it louder. Fathers yes fathers bring your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.
And what's really interesting here is that instead of using the Greek word for parents. There is a Greek word for parents or instead of using the Greek word for mother's there's a Greek word for mother's God chose here specifically to use the Greek word for father. The word Potter and what this means is that when it comes to raising children. Even though God esteems the critical role that mothers play God explicitly called fathers to take an active primary personal role in the raising of their children. God calls fathers not to be spectators, but to be players in the raising of their children, and frankly men if there were only one principle that I could hammer into our heads about fathering today. It would be this principle that being a good father demands everything we've got that if were going to fulfill our duty to God and to our children. It we're going to have to be in 100% listen when our children were little. Every morning when I woke up I woke up with the realization that my job that day.
Above everything else was to raise our children. It was not Brenda's job to do it while I stood on the sideline and through wiffle dust in her know know it was my job. It was my duty. It was my sacred responsibility before the Lord to see to it that my children were brought up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and that I as their father not Brenda I was going to stand before the living Lord Jesus one day and give the final account about how our children were Ray and so let me say to every man here if and when God gives you children. It is essential for you to understand that the final accountability regarding how they are brought up belongs to you.
You say all I long. I hear that but you, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. I mean you you talked about the nurture in the admonition of the Lord, but I'm not 100% sure what that means. Well where that's good, that's great, tell you I so what is it mean to bring your child up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord are two keywords in their nurture and admonition. Let's look at a the word nurture is the Greek word Paideia, which literally means instruction, teaching, learning, in other words, the Bible says that a father is to be teaching his children.
God's truth from the word of God. Deuteronomy 6 verse six. Address the fathers by the way, says in these words I command you this day, shall be in your heart and use shell next to words, what are they you show what you teach them to your children. This means teaching our children who God is, his character's attributes, his holiness, teaching them who they are in comparison to God that they are sinners, that they need salvation and helping them come to faith in Christ. It means teaching our children what the Bible says about right and wrong teaching them how to live in the power of the Holy Spirit every day teaching them how to repent and confess sin to God and to people and how to ask for forgiveness and own the responsibility for their own actions and means teaching them how to pray by doing it with them every single day in teaching them about sexual purity in their thought life in their body in their mouth pay as dad's. Our job is to be leading family devotions. Our job is to be making sure our children get the kids quest and that they get the junior high grouper that they get the senior high group and they get to Alana and they get on summer camps and they get on winter camps are job is to volunteer in these ministries. So we have the manpower to do them right. Our job is to do scripture memory with our children and to cry out over our children's soul in prayer every single day. Well, one quote that's exhausting yeah this folks, there is nothing in the world more exhausting than raising our children right. There is nothing more exhausting in the world and raising our children in the nurture of the Lord, and this is why a set a minute ago that we got to be 100% in if were going to do this right. Listen to me if you're young man here. Look here. Look at me. If you are not prepared to leave this kind of day.
If you're not prepared to pay this kind of prize to raise your children that I want to challenge a don't have them don't have an listen to the young women if the man that your gaga over isn't prepared to be this kind of father then put your gaga away and save it for another man who is prepared to be this kind of father and if you are already a father here. I want to challenge and exhort all of us to raise our game. I want to exhort and challenge us to get into the word of God understand how to nurture our children by teaching them God's truth and then lift our game higher in our investment in our children, not your wife's investment in your children, your investment in your children, but there was a second word, remember it was the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. So let's move on to that second word and the word admonition. The Greek word new Cecelia literally means proof warning or discipline. In other words, here God is telling us that a father not only needs to be teaching his children. God's true but also he needs to be confronting them when they disobey God's true and if necessary loving them on and off to discipline them when they disobey God's true holding his children accountable for their behavior. Teaching them that sin has consequences and showing his children the importance of value and the blessing of obeying God. Hebrews chapter 12 verse seven. The Bible says or what child is there whom his father does not discipline.
Now look here 2000 years ago that was a rhetorical question. Who is it, what child is that his father doesn't discipline them today. This is no longer rhetorical question. Sadly, today will we have lots of fathers who were not disciplining their children there either too cowardly to discipline their children, or they are too lazy to discipline their children but friends either way. A child who grows up with no fatherly admonition and no fatherly discipline at best will grow up to be an ill mannered brat, and at worst will grow up to be a danger to themselves and everybody around him. A man cannot get a man from somebody here.
Amen thank you and this is why to let a child grow up with no discipline is to curse the child, listen to what the Bible says Proverbs 23 verse 13 do not withhold say the next word discipline from your child. Proverbs 2215 foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child with the rod of what's next word discipline will drive it far from him or her. Proverbs 13 verse 24 he who spares the rod hates his child, but he who, what, loves his child is say the next word diligent to say the next word discipline him so long. Look, I got a feeling I don't believe in spanking.
Well it is okay God does voluntarily.
God does answer you believe whatever you want, but I'm telling you what God says works and remember the biblical discipline done properly, is not an act of meanness.
It is an act of love listen to the Bible for whom the Lord next word loves.
He walked disciplines, even as a father sawn, in whom he delights biblical discipline done properly, is not an act of meanness. It's an act of love for your child you're saving him or her from growing up to be a brat at best or somebody that takes a gun into a school. At worst you with me right now.
I don't believe let me just say that a father has to do all the discipline in his home, but I do believe that it's his responsibility to set the guidelines for the discipline in his home and then to make sure those guidelines are consistently carried out whether there carried out sometimes by his wife, or whether there carried out sometimes by himself is his is responsibility to see to it.
Those are carried out, and you say will on you said earlier, a biblical discipline done properly and he and you say lawn. I don't know how to do the biblical discipline properly.
Well guess what. Neither did II did grow up in a home with a good biblical discipline properly. What I know so when I came to Christ, I read a book is the best book in the last 40 years on this topic and is written by James Dobson and it's called Dare to discipline and Brandon I read this book together when we were dating and Brandon. I talked with her about this book together when we were dating and Brandon, I've mapped out the philosophy of how to raise our children and discipline them while we were dating and we agreed to that and then we had children we carried out together. What we had already agreed on.
Look, if you don't know how to discipline your children biblically and properly you get this book you read this book and I tell you, you follow the principles of this book. And even if your father here today already.
Folks get this book. Read this book and lift your game at two.
Where you didn't needs to be in terms of disciplining your children young women if you're here, you get this book called Dare to discipline you read it yourself and then when you have a potential mate, you read it together and see whether or not they agree that this is what they're willing to do with their children and not you go find another potential mate, you say well that's not as easy as it sounds, shortness yet. Is this really easy hey look, he will easiest way to get over no boyfriends getting no one I'm telling you it's not that hard, and young men you need to read this book young men and let me just say to you if you're young man here and you're not courageous enough to be a man was going to discipline his children and once again I say to you, be courageous enough not to have. Do not bring a brat or potential dangerous human being into this world unless you got the courage to tame that wild animal that comes out the womb and turn them into a functioning adult and it's going to take discipline to do it and I can amen to that. Thank you, are they know when my boys are growing up we always always sit at the table he stole Jill was born and we have dinner together. I'm sorry we didn't have the TV on. We didn't have the games on we didn't where there were no iPads but had there been on they wouldn't of been on in our house at that time we all came the table. We all sat down.
We all ate together and we tried to teach them manners. We try to teach them. For example, to eat, you know, with a napkin in your lap.
We tried to teach them the whole before properly. We tried to teach them not to put the elbows on the table but one of the things that we really worked hard on is you chew with your mouth, what we said shot but it's the same idea.
That's right, and SOI would give my sons one morning. If I caught them chewing with her mouth open. I would send him away from the table for one minute and then they could return to the table and continue dinner and avocado.
The second time chewing with their mouth open. Dinner was over that evening for that child. Now my middle son Justin had a real problem with this because his mouth was always open ED deal was always talking his mouth was never shot and so for a number of years. This is true for a number of years. Justin would never made seven nights in a row and finish dinner.
In fact, the average I would say between four and five nights a week that he actually got to the end of the debtor and tell you what, go today. He chews with his mouth shot. Praise Lord yeah and you say, of course he does lawn you made them obsessive delight in making the process and I taught him manners, which is what a father is supposed to do and you know he's come back and actually thanked me is a law firm that he works for. He often does interviews with the people want to come work for the firm and want to. He said the very first thing I noticed when I take him out for lunch is whether or not they chew with their mouth shut and if they don't, they've already got two strikes against them because if they don't have that discipline.
They probably don't have some other important disciplines.
You say you did make him upset. No I didn't. I mating somebody that's God manners. My job and by the way could I say that even after Justin missed three average three meals a week or something close to that were still friends today as a matter of fact, we're good friends today is matter of fact we talked virtually every day on the telephone see a lot of us say we you know the problem is I don't want to be my child's friend I that's that's that's a noble desire.
Folks listen to me your child has all the friends in the world he needs but he's only got one father and you need to be that child's father when that child is in your whole and I promise you I promise you that if you are there father when they're young you will be their friend when they grow older and have children of their own and suddenly get this look folks, the Bible says fathers bring your children up in the nurture boy that's hard work and in the admonition of the Lord. I got say to me the other day.
You never since I became a father. Everything else in my life is like going away to play golf anymore, nor on my bicycle anymore.
I don't go to the gym and hang out with the guys anymore. You know everything I used to do this not. I don't do anything but go to work and come home and be a father. Hello, that's the way you're supposed to do it will be plenty of time for you to play golf you know plenty time for you Roger bicycle later. These children need you is your father. Get that stuff up and do your job as a father and I've had people say to me you know I hate to take this little child, and send another rumor make a mess of meal or spank them or discipline them or whatever you know I feel sorry for me and others so Q you will that that behavior will be cute when they're 13 trust me and you've lost your moment.
By the time they're 13 and what is this anyway while who are we afraid of where grown man these people are 25% are high. What are we afraid of the inmates are running the asylum. What is wrong here, except that we either too lazy or just too cowardly to get in there and do our job folks, this is not the model of the Bible and we need to stop trying to be good Americans first and we got a start being good Bible believing followers of Christ first doing what God tells us to do, not just raising our children, but in every area of life. Remember Jesus… Doesn't just want your life you want your lifestyle is a father spring. Dear Lord Jesus, we thank you for the principles of your word that tell us how the father and Lord Jesus I pray that you would help us here father's future fathers, mothers, future mothers, oh God, help us look to the Bible for our direction in child raising, not to Dr. Spock not to any human organization not to what our society says no, no, help us look to the word of God to get our principles. The word of God to get our guidance. The word of God to get our instruction and then Lord Jesus, to the best of our ability help us carry those instructions out lovingly but firmly with our children for their blessing Lord it's not about us were already grown. It's about raising blessed children. So Jesus give us courage today. Jesus speak to our hearts today.
Jesus if we need to lift our game today. Challenges to do that give us the strength by your spirit to carry all of this out will never do it in the energy of the flesh. We need the feeling of God's spirit every day in order to be able to do this so Lord, may we depend on your strength and then to the best of our ability. May we do our job as fathers in our homes.
We pray this in Jesus name what God's people say amen