This broadcaster has 129 podcast archives available on-demand.
Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.
March 20, 2022 8:00 am
Worship in the word were almost through series called been an amazing series of learning about God's design for and how no matter how broken we are, we can all experience happy family. Well, let's listen in with past.
I will talk you later about blessed Saudis and boulders and I specifically named their sons and daughters because were all sons and daughters of God is nowhere sons and daughters will research but as sons and daughters. We go through three phases in these phases are actually outlined in the Bible God designed these three phases.
I want to talk about how we relate to sons and daughters in these three phases.
The three phases. Just so you know her childhood and adolescence and adulthood. Childhood is birth to 12 adolescents 13 to 19, and these not majors I'm getting from the Bible and adulthood is 20 and above so I'll show you these three and I want to give you all the words of every three words today that hopefully you can remember the key word about how to relate to sons and daughters in each of these phases arrived. So here's Ephesians 6 will start with three verses. I think these three phases of life are actually in these three verses, you'll see on the go see childhood, adolescence and adulthood right so Ephesians chapter 6 with verse one it says children so do my childhood, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right so this is the first thing children need to learn during this zero 1290. Learn to obey their parents on the virtues actually referring to new adolescents. Honor your father and mother. I think teenagers may blend. Honor one another and honor other people think honor is the biggest thing I need to learn effect on during that adolescent faith, which is the first commandment promise and inversely I think of referring to adulthood.
Watch this, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. In other words, as adults, and things may go well with you and you may live long on your I have a thought about this because a lot of times we ask people what's the promise if you honor your mother and father basing all say on the promises that you may live long on your where the promise is actually that things may go well with you and that you may live long mirrors. Not only is strong but he wants to live long. If things are going well so so that's a bigger promise to make things may go well with you. I so look at least three phases and how we relate to sons and daughters are right. So number one phase. This is the word to try to help you remember is training.
This refers to childhood childhood face training. Now we stopped at verse four we read verses one through three. Ephesians 6 look at verse four. And you father's, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord training. Think about this Scripture that all of you know. Proverbs 22 six trying train up a child you train children train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from Malaga, training, and some of talk about biblical training and I don't have time to develop. I could devote an entire message for each three of these points. Each of these reports okay so what I'm talking about biblical training I will talk a little bit about spanking because the Bible talks about spanking not only their books again spanking with some friends of ours that what they think. Years ago they the wife said to my wife to Debbie note she read some book and she said we stopped spanking and auto and now just a few weeks later, Debbie talked again.
She said we started spanking again because this is the best book on raising children under my son James used to say to me. Alexei Sonny disobeyed not explained to him you're going to spanking said that that can can I tell you something first. Can I tell you time to say one thing before. Before you spike something becoming one thing and then you could see him trying to think of something and say he was actually trying to postpone. He said that I love you II love you daddy, that's okay.
Not sure he's a little MFA.
I got I love you and and and I have four dollars and I want to give you want to give you my fourth $and daddy when I grow up, I want to build your lobby of the big house and let you live in it for free and also he did whatever he could get out but he never got out of my cursor and read your Scripture, read, you read it out of the message because I just like the way that this translates this Proverbs 2313 and 14.
Don't be afraid to correct your gardens are spanking won't kill a good spanking.
In fact, might say they from something worse than death. A good spanking might save them from something. I watch this worse than death.
What would be worse than that. So let me show you what it says in the new King James it says and deliver his soul from hell to see if I have a choice whether listen to the experts out there that don't know God or listen to God and he says that spanking could deliver my child soul from hell.
It's pretty important. Matter fact again the Bible is stronger on this point and again we try to dilute it and just clarify what about spanking all resettlement, abuse or hard anger or anything like that and there's a whole message I did years ago this secret listening that if you will reference it but when we think the Bible says spare the rod spoil the child. The Bible does not say that it makes a much stronger industry because everything I would mind spoiling the child will doesn't say if you spare the rod use for the child fears were likely says Proverbs 1324 he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly so he give me three, just three thoughts about discipline that might help you if you're this phase of life.
One is be clear, be clear communication. I remember one time I walked out of the backyard.
James, my son was throwing rocks in the swimming pool. I said to him James to not throw any rocks in the swimming pool. He looked at me when over, grabbed his brothers bicycle and threw it in the swimming. I didn't say don't throw bicycles in the pool so I said I had to be clear, don't throw anything in the pool if you throw anything in the pool including other people I'm going to spank you tried to be very clear with the matzoh one is be clear. The other thing is be convincing that he is going to spank you.
Let me tell you why daddy's going to spank you because daddy loves bad things happen to people who do bad things. That's what I would tell my children. I don't want bad things to happen to you so I am training you now not to do bad things because when you get older you do bad things should go to prison. Things happen to bad things happen. People do bad things. The only reason I'm there. This is because I love you not be very convincing that he will spanking. If you hit your sister with that plastic bat you stop swinging the plastic bat in the house because you could hit your sister accidentally like you I've already done four times so that he will spend, you will get a spanking. If you do this convincing and the last thing is be compassionate never spanked in anger. If you have to cooldown some cooldown explained to them, take them to another group member spanking public never, ever, ever, because shame is never a part of discipline with God.
God never shames us to shame ourselves with God the things we humiliate ourselves. But God humbles us so I just to let you know don't do it in public go somewhere else.
Be compassionate I would I would have fun with them afterwards. Every time after out, spank them I would do something fun with it takes time for godly discipline because I wanted in the nose over so the first phase is training RII refers to cha-cha childhood second pleasures number two teaching.
This refers to adolescence from 13 to 19. We move from training to teaching.
Ephesians 6 first floor let's go back the birth of your fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training will talk about that and admonition of the Lord. When the day winds or teaching.
That's what this word means admonition means instruction or teaching for 11 the teacher Lord. Deuteronomy 49 teach them then refers to statutes.
Teach them to your children and your grandchildren.
Deuteronomy 67 shall teach them diligently to your children. So think about this all right on adolescent refers to the transition of a child becoming an adult. We refer to those teenage years, but it refers that time. This is a time when we go to teaching it begins at 12 or 13 somewhere around that H you see in Jewish cultures. Well, there becomes a time of teaching we see it in Jesus's life and there's a really famous story about Jesus that I think we missed something very important when Jesus was in the temple. Remember, and when nurses are great. There's a great part of it.
I'm not minimizing this apartment because of this far and I think we missed the other part, but the teachers of the rabbis in the temple were so impressed with his answers. Now that's a great thing, but I want you to notice something that Jesus himself.
This is making the transition from childhood to adolescence with 20 verse 42 and when he was 12 years old, they went up and went to Jerusalem, according to the customer the face and then verse 46 that sort was that after three days merely laughed and they came back and found they found him in the temple, sitting in the mist of the teachers watch what Jesus was doing both listening to them and asking them questions listening to them and asking them questions Jesus Jesus himself. This is a time when when teenagers are going to be an ask questions you need to understand something. This is the time for you to help them transition from being a child, I think back to how many times though, do we say something like this to our teenager says something like this trust you're treating me like a child. That is what our response when you're acting like a job and I probably ought but is our responsibility to teach them not to act like a child gets to begin to to train them to teach them once.
Another way we tell a child what to think or we train the child what to think. We teach and adolescents how to think. We say that again we we tell a child what to think. We tell this is what you're going this is what you're going to we tell a child what to think what we teach and adolescents how to think. So you begin to move in this transitional time when you begin to ask your teenagers questions what what kind of criteria. Your are you going to use us what you would ask a teenager what kind of criteria or are you going when you choose your friends so they start thinking where they may have never felt before, but that what what type of study habits. Are you trying to develop now that are going to help you later life is a question I wish I had someone ask when I was a teenager. You think the choices that you make now will affect you as an adult I never thought that I would deal with some of things I've had to deal with as an adult because things I didn't.
This is a time ask questions when our children were making this transition to adolescence at the age of 13. We had a covenant ceremony with them. I did it with the guys. Debbie Debbie with our daughter. We would take them on an overnight trip. We had arranged for so I did the both are boys Debbie that our daughter, we made a covenant with now part of things that we thought better covenant. We talk a lot of things that we need to choose one example, we talked about David we we we went to the facts of life with her. We did whenever TMM 13 reason with whenever TMM is because of your friends at school so went to the facts of what 1320 made the cup that we said not hear something she'd understand. You're going to begin to start being attracted to the opposite sex and when that happens, we want to tell you some things. It's going to happen in your body will take some things will happen your emotions and so we told and then we say we will look will make covenant with you. You have a park and we have a part and we said your part is that you'll talk to us and be open and honest with us when you're attracted to someone that you will keep yourself pure, that you will cross these boundaries that God is set in place for your protection before marriage. We went through all the things of this is your apartment out. Then I said, this is my part of the company. My part of the covenant is that I commit myself to pray with you about your spouse and I will explain to them why you have to tell teenagers why we said because we know you better than anyone else in the world. We know your personality.
We know your gift ticks so will really help you in this process, but then I wanted to kind of incentivize my teenagers. You know, and so I said and part of my covenant is you. Keep your part a part of my covenant is that I'm going to pay for any expenses with the wedding, whether boy or girl because her expenses on both sides, pay another Sam will do is I will pay for your honeymoon. I want to pay for your college. Whatever it is all pay for all that you are no student debt no matter what type of student that I have to.
And then I said, and I'm going to help you by your first house. Now I look back on that now and think thank God for people by my books now because I would've ever that Woodinville keep all these promises that I may not know why did the we been able to help our children financially, but I remember when Josh, my oldest son when he was 13. I wanted to teach them something about Dodge breaks during this time and so I went through this. I said no were making a covenant grabbed partner.
I have a part and I said to him, what am I part this is very big too, since it's this big financial commitment on my part us about what's going to happen if you don't do your part that I was expecting.
In the say what you want bigger part, my 13-year-old son surprised me. He sat there for a moment and said you probably still do your part and I'm rethinking you stole my thunder storm my teaching moment in question will if you don't do your part. Why do you think that all do my part and he said because you told me that even when we do think things wrong, God still loves us and I think you're like God. This is what we do we go. This is a time of life. We take our young people through from childhood to adulthood.
It's very important in the last adulthood I you are using the word, trusting, trusting, so hopefully we can remember these rewards. Training teaching trusting them.
Send another way children are trained teenagers are called adults or trusted adulthood.
Given the Bible starts at 20 years old. I don't have time give you all the Scriptures, but I give you just a few references that you can look at later. All right ask this 30 verse 14 says it 20 they were begin to give offerings. Nothing's going to teach our children to give offerings but this was actually referring to a temple tax, they were required to start paying this when the third 20 God saw them as adults.
Numbers one, verse 320.
They had to go to war. They do not go to war until they were 20 years old.saw them as adults. Numbers 1429 through 3220.
They were held responsible for their second and 20. This is, I said. He said your little ones who had no knowledge of good and evil will still go into the promised land, but everyone 20 years old and the other than Joshua and Caleb will die in the wilderness so God sets a major point mail things that many of us have done this kind of said, I say this once they're married there. Adults know that's not true. There adults monitored 20 and limit with someone the Scriptures. Everyone use is therefore a man shall leave his father and mother complete his life. In other words there under my 40 until they get hurt. No take the Scripture for what it says listen.
One says. Therefore, man oh man shall leave his father, mother, Mme. Sanborn is already a man I think about this. What if I never get married. Some people are not called the marriage; celibacy that Jesus even talked about them self life and never did murder.
They don't have to know when you're 65. The grant asked for permission to retire so that Lebron and they need to be treated as adults. This is the reason I named this message blessed sons and daughters not less children.I am calling adult sons and daughters and I don't like even like the term adult children. It's an oxymoron. Think about it. If there adults, not children and we have all these problems because people don't understand. I really think parents get in the way sometimes we Dodge trying to do something in an adult life there adults now are parenting role is over. The word parent can be a noun and Jim Gilbert. In other words, yes I am a parent but I do not parent anymore because I don't have children anymore. I have adult sons and daughters are ill will follow this good and I got to see them so I let me tell you another thing you might not ever thought about this. My sons and daughters this from this mumble you what my sons and daughters are now my brothers and sisters in Christ and Christ there is no male or female in Christ there but listen when this Marseilles sons and daughters yes I have.
I have sons and daughters.
They all have children of their own. Their parents now that the guest are my sons and daughters, but their mothers and fathers, so they're not my kids sitting my brothers and sisters in Christ. That is, that they can come to me for advice. But what they're actually doing is they're coming to a brother in Christ, you realize that some sons and daughters. Some grown sons and daughters will go to their parents more for advice. There are two reasons.
One, one year, sometimes parents try to control one is parents only say this like parents think if they don't take my advice that's dishonoring me that's not on you. You asked us if you should make this move and we said no but you did it anyway and I was injured on your mother and father. When you just talk to somebody about that right there. What that actually does spiritual abuse. When you quote Scripture to get your way natural you don't have authority in the person's life a person to grown-up persons of adult.
So sometimes grown sons and daughters adult sons and daughters will go to the parent for the Council but then sometimes it's the other way around to sometimes serve as a dishonoring because you want to honor them and asked for the honor your mother and father doesn't have to do it should because you're an adult yet to hear God's I have no adult sons and daughters that have just announced made an announcement. We decided were moving our way.I decided to quit my job may never even asked that is dishonoring, but is this on and here's the reason that the intent is because they haven't made the transition from adolescence or childhood to adulthood yet and they don't have the courage to say you know what you pray with us about this because they fear the parents might say, well, we would rather you not do this they will have the courage to say thank you will go back and play again. But then they might have come back and say now that we prayed about it. We appreciate your counsel, but we know for sure this without a spoken or are you following this this would solve about 99% of family marriage counseling right if we would allow adult sons and daughters to just simply grow up and treat them as brothers and sisters hope you enjoyed today's message and I want to ask you to take a moment and think about past Robert and ask the Holy Spirit what he would say to you about this message. If you need to get a copy of any of the messages in the series, visit Pastor Robert.com and be sure to follow past Robert Facebook, Instagram, and thank you so much for listening today.
Next time past. Robert is including the blessed family series with a message about the family of Christ. We've all been adopted, so be sure to tune in and enjoy your week