Why Men Need Each Other

Far too many Christian men don't have Christ over them.

They want to demand a submission that they refuse to model. Dr. Tony Evans says being a godly leader requires a willingness to follow God. So maybe some of the rebellion that you're experiencing in the home is some of the rebellion that Jesus is experiencing from you. This is The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, author, speaker, senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, and president of The Urban Alternative.

If you were interested in flying a plane or performing surgery, you'd go to flight school or medical school. But where do men go to learn to be godly men? That's Dr. Evans' subject today as he talks about why men need to seek guidance from the Word of God.

Let's join him. Paul wrote his son in the ministry, Timothy, a reasonably young pastor, mid-30s, early 40s perhaps, who was, to use our contemporary nomenclature, the senior pastor at Ephesus Bible Fellowship. And he makes an overarching statement in 1 Timothy that is to govern everything else that he does.

He says in chapter 3 verses 14 and 15, I am writing these things to you hoping to come to you before long. But in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and the support of the truth. Paul writes this young pastor and he says, now I want to write you to tell you how the church is supposed to work. I don't want you to go downtown to get your instructions. I don't want you to go to the marketplace to get your instructions.

I don't want you to go to the various clubs to get your instruction. I am writing you to tell you how the church of the living God is supposed to function. So you ought to get your instructions on the church from the word of God, which is the ground and pillar of the truth.

One of the things you see, and this is what Paul is alluding to, are these mammoth pillars in Ephesus that were to hold up structures. He says the church is the ground and pillar of the truth. It's supposed to hold up the truth no matter what the culture is saying, no matter what's popular, no matter what's the end thing to do, no matter what is politically correct, no matter what is popular around town, all of that is inconsequential to the truth. And the job of the church is to hold up the truth, not satisfy the culture. The job of the church is to hold up God's standard, not make everybody feel good or not make you popular necessarily. And so we have this issue of men, and it is addressed here and other places, but we will use this as our popular reference point to speak the truth about men in general, but specifically men in the church.

One thing is clear in Scripture. When men relinquish their roles, they have opened the door for the devil. The role of the church is to call men to their biblical roles as men, to be reminded from God's definition what a man is, what a man is supposed to be, and what a man ought to seek to become. The job of the church, of course, is to instruct everybody, but particularly men.

And there's a covenantal reason for that. What we are calling for, what Paul is calling for, what the Word of God is calling for, is for men to reclaim their divinely ordained roles. Not just any role, not just a societal role, not just a secular role, but the church is to reinforce men of their divinely ordained roles. He says in chapter 2, verse 8, Therefore I want men to pray in every place lifting up holy hands without wrath and dissension.

We know he's talking about males because of the word men and because of the fact he contrasts them with women in verse 9. The first thing that men ought to be doing is leading out in prayer. He's talking about the church here, and he says, What I want, what I want is I want men, he says, in chapter 2, verse 8, in every place to pray. The church is to equip men, call men to prayer. It's also to call men to pastoring. That is shepherding.

In case you didn't know it, mister, you are a shepherd. You're a pastor of a family. That's why a man comes to church. He comes to church to find out what God has to say so he can transfer it back to his family around the dinner table.

That's why it comes. It was inconceivable in the Bible that a man would send his wife and family to church while he stayed home without good reason. That was an inconceivable thought.

Y'all go. I don't feel like going today. That was an inconceivable—because he understood his role as pastor, spiritual leader, that his job was to transfer. So you can't say you don't have anything to talk about, because the reason God gives me a sermon for Sunday is so you can use it for Monday, not just so you can wait till next week, same time, same station. And it says the men are supposed to do that.

She should be able to ask your husband at home because you're the shepherd of your house. You're managing that. You are owning that responsibility. You're owning that role. Now, let's go a little deeper with this.

Not that you asked me to, but let's do it anyway. 1 Corinthians 11, he's talking about the church. He writes to the church of Corinth in 1 Corinthians 11, and this principle is staggering in its implication for men and for ladies.

I've been over this verse, verse 3, before, but let's look at it again. What I want you to understand, verse 3 of 1 Corinthians 11, that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, not all women. The man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

So this principle operates in the Trinity. God is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of every man. The man is the head of a woman. The issue is head, or let me give it another word, headship. Jesus promised when Adam and Eve felt that the seed of the woman would crush the head of the serpent in Genesis 3.15. What does it mean crush the head of the serpent?

Crush his headship, crush his rule, crush his rule. There is a pecking order in history created by God that even Jesus can't get out of. It says God is the head of Christ, yet Christ is equal to God. You see, Christ has all the attributes of deity, but when it comes to functionality, when it comes to implementation, Christ is under God. Christ is equal to God in essence, but under God in function. This is not a question of ontological essence.

It is a question of day-to-day function. That's why the Bible says a man must honor his wife as his fellow heir in 1 Peter 3.7. She is to be treated as an equal, not as an inferior.

She's not your daughter. But at the same time that she's honored as an equal, her views, her thoughts, her gifts, her skills, her talents. There is a pecking order to how God flows in history, and he flows based on headship. He works through Christ. Christ is over every man. That is where the first problem is, because far too many Christian men don't have Christ over them.

They want to demand a submission that they refuse to model. They insist, my wife won't submit to me, but who does she see you submitting to so she can see what submission ought to look like? See, she should see the submission you're requiring, because Christ is over every man. That's why you're supposed to be the first one in church to find out what Christ expects of you, because you're submitted to his authority. You need the church to find out what Christ expects of you as a man so that you can submit to that so that she can model the submission that she's seeing from you.

Everybody's got to fall into somebody. Nobody's out there by himself, including Jesus. Nobody's as independent as God.

That doesn't kill leadership. Jesus was a leader, but he was under authority. So here's what I want to ask every man who's here. To whom do you answer? To whom do you answer in the church of the living God?

To whom do you even position yourself to answer to? So maybe some of the rebellion that you're experiencing in the home is some of the rebellion that Jesus is experiencing from you. He goes on to creation, verse 8, For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man. God took the rib out of Adam's side and he created woman. She originated from him. He's going back to there is an order.

And then he lays one out for you ladies. That's a bombshell. Verse 10, And therefore the woman ought to have a symbol of authority on her head because of the angels. She ought to have a symbol. There ought to be something visible that demonstrates she's under authority.

It's under authority. Why? Why we got to go through all this? What is the point?

Here's the point. Verse 10 says it's because of the angels. The reason why you have to stay in line in the church, he says, is because of the angels. What's angels got to do with this?

All right. Angels have a full-time job. You see it in St. John, chapter 1, Jesus tells Nathaniel, You will see angels going up and down the Son of Man. What are angels? They're God's post office. They're God's delivery boys.

They're God's delivery system. In other words, when Jesus wants to do something on earth, he sends an angel. Angels means messengers.

He has a messenger carrier service whose job it is to carry from heaven down to earth. But the angels only work if authority is intact. If headship is operating properly, if headship is not operating properly, then the angels are put on hold. So if you're out of order, you're blocking prayer and being answered. So ladies, if you illegitimately are rebelling against your husband, then you're blocking God answering your prayers. You may be the delay to God answering your prayers because you're operating out of order. Or man, you could be blocking it because you're not operating under Christ, so it's keeping her from operating under you, so everybody's out of line.

It's because of the messenger service. You need the church to make sure that things are in alignment so that God is free to respond with his messenger service. Dr. Evans will come back in a moment to share a lesson he learned from his dad while growing up. Stay with us. We've got an amazing opportunity for you to join Tony Evans and The Urban Alternative from August 6th to 13th on an unforgettable cruise through the unmatched beauty of one of God's masterpieces, Alaska. Enjoy life-changing teaching, worship, and performances from gifted musicians, as well as the opportunity to spend time with others who share your passion for God's kingdom. And you'll experience it all while relaxing in luxurious accommodations or savoring first-class meals from gifted chefs.

Those dates again are August 6th to 13th, but spots are limited, so book your choice of room today at tonyevans.org. Well, Tony's been talking today about why men need each other. And as we've been learning, the future of our families and our society depends on stepping up to God's expectations for us.

But that takes power and perseverance. In Kingdom Men Rising, Dr. Evans addresses the cultural consequences of male passivity and shatters stereotypes, painting a real-life picture of manhood at its best, teaching men to keep promises instead of secrets, to rebuild lives and not just engines, to follow Jesus more closely than the stock market or a favorite sports team. You can get a copy of this powerful book as our gift. Just visit tonyevans.org by this Wednesday. Make a contribution toward this ministry. And we'll say thanks by sending the book your way, along with a special bonus of all 12 full-length audio lessons in his current series by the same name, Kingdom Men Rising. Again, that's at tonyevans.org. Or call 1-800-800-3222, where resource team members are standing by ready to assist you. I'll have that information for you again after part two of today's lesson.

Here's Tony. Our Jewish father understood the importance of the temple, the church, to be the first one up in the morning. By the way, I grew up, you know, without much, like many of you. My father got to work sometimes, other times he didn't get to go to work because he was a longshoreman and you do that by what they call orders.

You had to be called in when the boat was coming in to unload the boat as the stevedore longshoreman. Since the time he got saved, I cannot remember one time him asking me, do you feel like going to church? I'm trying to remember, but I can't remember one time where I got— the only way I got out of church was a lie. I had to lie my way out of church. I'm sick.

Oh, I feel so bad. I wasn't sick. I didn't want to go. Because as head of the house, worship was never an option.

It was not a vote. You hear some fathers, well, I don't want to make my kids go to church. You make them go to school.

You make them go to school because you want them to become something. Inconceivable. Nor did he ever send us to church while he stayed home. He would only send us if he had to work. He would never send us while he stayed home.

That was inconceivable. Because a man of the kingdom who is also a man of the church understands that that is his role as head. To lead in the worship of his family, or as Joshua put it in Joshua 24, 15, as for me and my house. Which brings a final thought I want to give you about the reason why men need the church. And the church needs men.

It's to provide spiritual protection. Notice what he says again in 1 Timothy 2. He says, verse 14, Adam, who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. In other words, she got tricked.

She got duped. He went in with his eyes wide open. He knew what he was doing. See, his job was to transfer the truth, which is what he did to Eve. That's why Eve could tell Satan what the devil said, because Adam transferred it to her.

Then he went passive on us. It's called the silence of Adam. He got quiet and let the devil do the rapping, and she talking to him, and they all getting together with each other, and all hell breaks loose. And then God says this. Watch this now.

Watch this, ladies. You're not going to like this, but God said it. He says to Adam in Genesis chapter 3, Because you listen to your wife. Is a man supposed to listen to his wife?

Absolutely. She's a partner, unless what you're listening to contradicts your head. See, once what you're hearing from her contradicts what you're hearing from him, you're no longer to listen to her.

But the reverse is true. As long as what you're saying agrees with him, she's to listen to you, but if what you're saying disagrees with him, she's no longer obligated to listen to you, because she has a head over you. He says because you listen to your wife, all hell has broken loose here. Far too many of us as men are listening to the devil and bringing it home. Listening to the homies and bringing it home. Listening to the posse and bringing it home. He says he did not provide his spiritual role of guarding the garden of protection. The job of the church is to equip men to guard the garden from the intruder. We have a generation of boys today who are not going to make it to manhood.

They may make it physically, but they ain't going to make it. All of us have three hoods. You got male hood, and all you need for male hood is plumbing. Then there's boyhood. Now, you know a boy, because a boy is irresponsible and dependent. He's not independently responsible. He's a boy. You don't expect him to be able to go out and provide for himself, because he's just a boy. Now, when he's a 30-year-old boy, we got a problem. You're not supposed to be a 30-year-old boy. You're supposed to be a 3-year-old boy, a 5-year-old boy, a 10-year-old boy, maybe a 15-year-old boy.

You're not supposed to be a 30-year-old boy. Far too many are tied to boyhood. That's why they'll send a woman out to work while they stay home. A woman out to provide while there's boyhood. He says in chapter 5, he says it is horrible a man who does not provide for his family.

If anybody stays home, it should be her, not you. That's boyhood. Then there's manhood. The kingdom man is a person who exercises authority and responsibility under God. He exercises authority, naming. He names things into being.

But then he bears the responsibility for it. Dr. Tony Evans will come back in just a moment with a final illustration to wrap up today's teaching. But first, I want to let you know that the message you've been hearing is available in its entirety on both CD and digital download, including portions we didn't have time to include in the broadcast. You can get it as a part of that special double offer I mentioned earlier, all 12 full-length messages in Tony's current series, bundled along with his powerful book, Kingdom Men Rising. We'll send them to you as our thank you gift when you help support this ministry with a financial contribution. And by the way, Tony has also created a complete companion Bible study that goes along with the Kingdom Men Rising series, so check that out as well. You can get all the details and make your request online at tonyevans.org. Again, that's tonyevans.org. Or give us a call at 1-800-800-3222, where team members are standing by around the clock to help with your resource request.

Again, that's 1-800-800-3222. Dr. Evans believes there's a desperate need to reclaim civility in our culture today, and he encourages each of us to find ways to demonstrate kindness to everyone we encounter. Our acts of kindness change the atmosphere of our communities for good and for God. Well, coming up tomorrow, Dr. Evans will show how God can take our dry, dead faith and fill it with life and vitality.

Right now, he's back with this closing illustration. The central position on a football team is the quarterback. He is the central position, the most valued position, the highest paid position, because he is the leader. He is the leader. He calls the play.

He rallies the troops because he's the leader. Now, different quarterbacks have different personalities. Some of the big rah rah guys. Others are not rah rah guys, but they know how to take care of business because they're the quarterback. Let me tell you something else quarterbacks got to be able to do. Hut one, hut two, hut three, he gets the ball, he fades back, and all of a sudden he is under attack. The linemen are coming after him, and there's linebackers or defensive backs who are blitzing him.

Some will be coming that he can see, others will be coming on his blind side that he cannot see. He should do his best to avoid being tackled, to avoid being thrown down. He should do his best, but sometimes he can't get away. Sometimes he can't run far enough or fast enough. He's under too much attack, but because he is the leader, he must be willing to take the hit. He must be willing to get sacked. He must be willing to be thrown behind the line of scrimmage. He must know that there are going to be times it's going to get rough back there. But hey, you're the leader, take the hit. And when you get hit, don't fumble the ball because that's what you've been called to do. Don't tell me you want to be a quarterback and you're not willing to take the hit. The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans is brought to you by the Urban Alternative, and is made possible by the generous contributions of listeners like you.