The Integrity of a Courageous Confrontation, Part 2

When someone in authority is covering up a secret sin, what's the biblical protocol for calling him out? What should we say, and how far should we go in exposing their sin?

These are questions that are answered in a model given to us in the Old Testament. And today on Insight for Living, Chuck Swindoll guides us through the story that's recorded in 2 Samuel 12. Before we even think of pointing an accusing finger at the king who lived centuries ago, may we look within our Father. May we see ourselves often, often guilty of doing wrong and going right on, rather than making it right, first with you, and then with those whom we've offended.

Who knows how many this very day find their heart beating heavily in their chest when they read of this confrontation. Search our hearts today, O Lord. See if there be any wicked way in us. Lead us to acknowledging that, turning from that, claiming the forgiveness that only you can provide, and then walking away free of guilt to live for you. This is a soul-searching message, an awakening sermon. So awaken us, Lord, lest we simply yawn through it.

May we pause and take it in, take it personally. May we come to terms with whatever you bring to our attention this day as your prophet Nathan speaks from the page of this ancient book to us in this day. Now all of you please pray with me. Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever and ever. Everyone said, Amen.

You're listening to Insight for Living. To search the scriptures with Chuck Swindoll, be sure to download his Searching the Scriptures studies by going to insightworld.org slash studies. Chuck titled his message, The Integrity of a Courageous Confrontation. David stacked one sin against another because he failed to confess the first one, his adultery with Bathsheba. He brought in Uriah, deceitfully attempted to connect Uriah back with his wife Bathsheba. Uriah was far more faithful than David. He wouldn't even go to his own house.

David got him drunk in hopes of getting him there so that it would look as though her pregnancy was caused by her husband. Uriah never went. And because he wouldn't, David turned on one of the warriors of Israel and had him killed in battle. Put him at the front of the battle so that he may be killed. Not only was Uriah killed, but other warriors as well.

So there's murder in his record and then months and months of hypocrisy. The royal palace must have had whispers, but none of that moved David. He was miserable, to be sure. And by the way, during this time, not one psalm flows from David's pen. It's impossible to sing the Lord's song in a foreign land. David's heart wasn't right, and David in his miserable condition just stayed silent as the baby grew in Bathsheba's womb. Until God spoke to a prophet named Nathan. It begins rather innocuously in this 12th chapter. The Lord sent Nathan. And you will notice he sent Nathan to tell David this story. What an interesting statement this 12th chapter begins with. Because there is something in every story or someone in every story that we can identify with, which makes every story interesting.

And this is no exception. A story is a beautiful way to disarm another. David is a classic example. In spite of the sins and the callous that follows in his months of hypocrisy, David listens to the story as Nathan sits beside him. There were two men in a city. One was rich and one was poor. One had plenty and the other only had his little family and one new lamb. When the rich man had a guest come along and it was time for dinner, that rich man, rather than taking one of his own flock from the flock, he took the poor man's one lamb, his only little lamb. And he slaughtered it and served that as the feast for dinner that evening.

I am convinced that Nathan isn't through telling the whole story before David is furious. He is furious. How dare there be a man like that in my kingdom?

Find him. He deserves to die. But before we take his life, he needs to give that man four lambs from his flock, paying him back four to one. How dare he take that man's single lamb? At that moment, it was time for Nathan to speak. You, the man, this one, literally the Hebrew says, you're the man.

You're the one who took the lamb. In fact, he goes on to describe what will happen as a result. Nathan begins with this word picture.

It becomes. A mirror. And finally.

A window. But the mission isn't finished, it isn't accomplished yet. Nathan doesn't just stand up and walk out. He has more to say to David. But the very first thing he addresses is forgiveness. Soon as David says, I have sinned against the Lord, Nathan says, and you are forgiven by the Lord.

This is the beauty. This is the difference between false guilt and true guilt. False guilt comes when someone else has an opinion about what we're doing and they're judging us because we're not living up to what they expected.

We worry too much about that. True guilt occurs when the Lord speaks. And our hearts know deep within we've done wrong. Paul Tournay, the brilliant Swiss psychiatrist and author, has written a book, Guilt and Grace, and in it he tells the difference between false and true guilt. Quote, false guilt is brought on by the judgments and suggestions of men and women. True guilt comes from willfully and knowingly disobeying God. David's anguish is from true guilt. He's ignored it. As a matter of fact, did you notice that in the story, David is so concerned about this rich man that has all the sheep that he never realizes, I'm the man.

So he says to Nathan, find that man, and he doesn't even realize it's him. Even though he's been miserable all of these months, and you doubt that, listen to Psalm 32. When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder. My words became daylong groans.

The pressure never let up. All the juices of my life dried up. Then I let it all out.

I said, I'll make a clean break and I'll bring my failure before my God. It's amazing, isn't it, that David didn't realize that he was a man? Alexander White, who for so many years ministered in the free church St. George's in Edinburgh, wrote this line, Nathan's sword was within an inch of David's conscience before David knew that Nathan had a sword. Love that statement.

You are the man. It brought David to his knees. Now, this story has not been preserved so all of us can cluck our tongues and shame David for his wrongdoing. It was wrong.

And it doesn't take a lot of discernment to acknowledge several of the wrongs that took place. You know that it was severe for the punishment that follows. Your baby will die. Your family will suffer. David went through a hell on earth with one child after another, all adults, even Absalom.

David abdicated the throne as Absalom took over. And there is rape. There is murder in the family.

It's dreadful. But David is forgiven. There were these consequences, nevertheless.

Nathan warned him faithfully, as a prophet would do. Now, two final words that I want to bring to all of us. I want to close as I sit down beside you in the front seat of your life. I do not know any of you well enough to know if a red light has come on. You know if it has. And if you haven't thought of it recently, you certainly realize it now. And there's something about the heartbeat that begins to grow heavily in the chest. And it gets up to the neck. And we feel it throb in our throat. It's called true guilt. It's not manipulated by me. You've heard the story and now you realize this is for me.

Whatever was written in early times was written for our learning. Is the light on in your life? Is the heat gauge showing that it's dangerously hot? Is trouble under the hood that you must pull over, stop, and deal with it? If we were in that car together, I would say to you, don't wait.

That light's on for a purpose. Pull over. Stop. Stop. So I say that to you today. And now don't hesitate.

It is my responsibility as a minister of the gospel to preach the word and then apply it to all of us. Whatever may be your life. Maybe your unwillingness to forgive someone and you're holding it over them.

Maybe an act, something like what is mentioned in the chapter. Maybe an ongoing habit that's slowly but surely eating away at your joy, at your relationships. Stop. Open the hood. Get help if needed. Deal with it.

I said there were two applications, and here's the second, which may be even harder than the first. Let's have you switch to the rider's side and someone you love very much is behind the wheel. And the light goes on. And God says to you, don't just ignore it. It's your move.

I'm leading you to move from the safety and the comfort of just being a nice friend and going along with everything to becoming a Nathan in that person's life. I will tell you from my own experience, that has been my responsibility, never voluntarily, usually with great reluctance, often with tears. And I will also tell you it was never easy. Never easy. Sometime it was resisted, other occasions it was even resented and I was shown the door and I leave. There's no force involved.

There's no sense of personal pleasure knowing you've got someone under your thumb. It's not about that. This is a judgment.

This is to restore one in a spirit of meekness. It's caring enough to confront. It's a blind spot, quite likely. Why else would a person just overlook a red light on the dash? I will tell you this. I've never regretted going. Looking back, I've always been grateful that I obeyed God's leading. I look back realizing I could have handled it a little differently sometime. But it was never ever done out of pride.

Or with a gotcha kind of a spirit. Always in private. Always. As a matter of fact, I've even had some connect with me later and thank me profusely for confronting them with what needed to be addressed. I could keep you here another 30 minutes with stories, but those are all private. I wouldn't even get into any of them, lest it look like I'm exploiting that.

It is of no business to anyone else. But I will tell you, if the Lord speaks to you today saying it's your move, move. If you're to be the Nathan, be the Nathan.

We all admire Nathan because of his courageous integrity going before the man who was the king and telling him what no one else would tell him. You may think of a very creative way of doing it. Fine. The Lord may give you an insight and the timing will be just right. And when it's right, go. Go.

Don't wait. This is one of the beautiful things about the Christian life. We care enough about one another. We love one another enough to help a person who's hurting himself and others by continuing on in wrongdoing. Just make certain this isn't some pet peeve of yours that you don't like to see in someone else. It's not about that.

Wrong has been done according to scriptural direction. The Lord taps you on the shoulder at some time in a sensitive moment, maybe in a time of prayer, and says to you, it's time to stop the praying. It's time to make your move. Make it.

Go. Ask for the right words. Ask for the right spirit. Ask for the right response and then leave it all with the Lord. As you care enough to confront.

Bow with me, will you, please? Thank you for your kind and close attention. This is serious stuff. This is rarely addressed from a pulpit. I realize that. But if it's because one of you really did need to hear it, it's been worth it.

However, I think there are a number of you, whoever you are, that needed to hear what was said today, that you might take this seriously. Perhaps you've never come to Christ as your savior. Maybe that distance with God is an explanation of your ongoing life of transgression. Start there at the cross.

Start right there. You really don't need anyone else. This is between you and the Lord. And you come to the Lord open hearted, open handed. And you bring your life before him and you say, Father, we've never been on speaking terms, but I do need you. And I trust in your son for the first time in my life. I take him as my savior. Thank you for coming into my life.

Do that now. Father, you have a wonderful way of following messages like this. As you speak to us through the afternoon and evening and on Mondays and Tuesdays and through the week. I believe that you have plans for some who've heard these words to follow through. May they do so in the strength of the spirit. May they be led by you. Otherwise, may they not do it. May it be action carried out for your glory and in your power. Give them humility and gentleness, discernment, yet courage to do what is right. And for those who find it personally convicting, I pray that you would bring them, like David, to acknowledge wrongdoing in the beginning of a turning point in their lives. Thank you in advance for good that will come from these serious words we've had together. In the name of Christ, our Lord, we pray.

Everyone said, Amen. This is Insight for Living. And with Chuck Swindoll's prayer, we conclude a message called The Integrity of a Courageous Confrontation. It's the sixth message in a 12-part teaching series from Chuck. The series is brand new and called Walking with Integrity in Times of Adversity.

And if you'd like to learn more about this ministry, please visit insightworld.org. And then as we continue our studies, I'd like to give you a preview of what's ahead. Beginning with the next program, Chuck will turn his attention to an obscure Old Testament character named Jabez. He'll be talking about the integrity of a bold vision. Jabez taught us that it's okay to feel restless and ambitious because God can often use those emotions to accomplish great things for Him. And then he'll address a struggle that's familiar to all of us.

Chuck will be speaking about the integrity of waiting, not worrying. Well, in light of these topics, Chuck suggested a biography for you to read. It's about Joseph, a man who modeled so many of the virtues we're addressing in our new series. The book is called Joseph, a Man of Integrity and Forgiveness.

At the beginning of a new year, all of us set goals and look for new ways to advance our lives. And so if you're looking for an inspirational book to guide your journey, we highly recommend Joseph, a Man of Integrity and Forgiveness. To purchase a copy, call us. If you're listening in the United States, dial 1-800-772-8888. Or go to insight.org slash offer. These daily visits with Chuck are made possible through your voluntary donations. To give a contribution today, go to insight.org slash donate. Or call us. If you're listening in the United States, dial 1-800-772-8888. My friend, more than ever, Insight for Living Ministries is determined to serve as a lavish garden for people all around the world who long to smell the aroma of God's matchless grace.

A safe place where imperfect, sinful people are forgiven, taught the truth and redeemed. There's a simple and effective way to leverage your support of Chuck Swindoll's ministry. Become a monthly companion.

In this emotionally charged era where shouting matches are commonplace, where people feel voiceless and overlooked and even condemned, would you be among those who give generously so that we can spread the fragrance of God's grace to those desperate for a second chance? Become a monthly companion today. If you're listening in the United States, call 1-800-772-8888. Or go to insight.org slash monthly companion. Together, let's introduce people to the God who says my grace is all you need.

My power works best in weakness. Again, if you're listening in the United States, call 1-800-772-8888. Or go to insight.org slash monthly companion. I'm Dave Spiker, inviting you to join us when Chuck Swindoll talks about the integrity of a bold vision. Join us on Tuesday on Insight for Living. .