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Help! My Pastor is a Narcissist. What Now?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier
The Truth Network Radio
December 30, 2021 1:30 pm

Help! My Pastor is a Narcissist. What Now?

Core Christianity / Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier

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December 30, 2021 1:30 pm

Episode 870 | Adriel Sanchez and Bill Maier answer caller questions.

Show Notes

Questions in this Episode

1. Don't we all have our own type of theology? Why is theology spoken of as one person's view on the Bible?

2. The Bible says that we won't be given in marriage in heaven, but Christ has his bride, the church, in heaven. How is this not contradictory?

3. What should we do if we sense that our pastor has Covert Narcissist Personality Disorder? We're concerned for him and his young family, but we have several members leaving our church and refusing to serve on committees and council with him.

4. Why aren't churches today keeping the sabbath on Saturday anymore?

5. What is "The Great Delusion" mentioned in 2 Thessalonians?

6. In 2 Chronicles 7 it says that God will heal his people's land if they seek his face. However, in Daniel and Revelation it speaks about devastating things that must happen in order for prophecy to be fulfilled. How do we reconcile these ideas?

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When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community From Emotional and Spiritual Abuse by Chuck DeGroat

Core Question - Why Did the Sabbath Day Change to Sunday?

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Up next to the special best of addition of core Christianity. Thanks for listening and for supporting our first year of life programs. We pray that God will richly bless you and your family in the new year.

I think my pastor is a narcissist. What should I do that is one of the questions will be answering on today's addition of core Christianity why this is Bill Meyer along with Pastor Israel Sanchez and this is the radio program where we answer your questions about the Bible and the Christian life every day. Here's our phone number it's 833 the core that's 1-833-843-2673 if you can't get through. You can always leave us a voicemail. We try to check her voicemails once a day can also post your question on our Facebook, Instagram or twitter accounts. Of course you can always email us your question at questions at core, burst up today let's go to Amy who is listening in Omaha, Nebraska Amy what your question for Pastor Israel will allow.

So about theology, the Bible and in one part of my life. Five years later after I got experience and this is why I like to go to Bible study that I'm going to one person believe what they see in the Bible. Also where the yard he lining that personal theology or visual. I I'm sorry Amy. Say one more thing. What was that you mean well I was just trying to say I would take myself by what theology is that your personal theology or is it only one person, like yours. You have your theology at that I might leave the Scripture and see something you, thank you so much for that question. And so I would say you were in right your your referencing an earlier broadcaster. We talked about the fact that the Bible and the study of the Bible doesn't necessarily need to be against theology and the study of theology and how oftentimes those two things are pitted against each other man in the point that I was making there was it. The question is not, are we doing theology. The question is are we doing theology well or poorly. Am I a good theologian or am I a bad theologian everyone quotes the Scriptures, but as you know Amy there.

There are people who twist the Scriptures. There were people who were twisting the Scriptures in the days of the apostles that would read things and they would come to the wrong conclusions about what they were reading Satan himself when he was attempting our Lord Jesus in the wilderness quoted Scripture as I think what we want to say this were not trying to focus on the theology of one person that's really important. If it for focusing on one individual and if that one individual has their own theology that no one else is had in the history of the Christian church. I would say that person is probably bad theologian because we write with the spirit of God is leading his church and guiding us into all truth, and so some individual that that comes up, you know, many years later whether it's Joseph Smith or some other guy like that saying I have the corner on theology. I got it right and nobody else got it right before me will that's that's a huge problem and it's not even our personal theology. We want to have a theology that's in line with the teaching of Scripture and the Orthodox teaching the right teaching of the church throughout history. What we might say is core Christianity. You know what we see in in the Bible.

And so I think it's great that you like to study the Bible you want to study the Bible and I think it's wise of you not to focus on the teachings of one individual.

But but we also have to realize that that that Christian churches been around for 2000 years and that believers faithful people who love Jesus lived and died for these truth and they wrote about them. They talked about them date they synthesize their understanding about some of the things we see in Scripture. And that's why we have these these wonderful treaties on doctrines like the doctrine of the Trinity. Doctrines like the doctrine of God's providence. These things help us understand who God is, so that we might better worship him and grow in our relationship with him and so continue to study the Bible, but don't study the Bible and isolation Amy all by yourself coming to your own conclusion, study it in the context of the church and the history of the church and it's there that I think were were were the safest because the reality is, each of us on our own in isolation are prone to twisting the Scriptures or misunderstanding them in in the last thing I'll say sorry I got on and on. As you mentioned how your symptoms are read one passage of Scripture and it'll it'll it'll speak to a certain way at one point of your life and then later on it will speak to you, maybe a little bit differently. What will a couple of things that I think that that is true, and that in terms of the application of Scripture right there. There are times will read a passage and it doesn't seem to apply to me right now and then, maybe five years later does apply to me but that's really more into in terms of the application is not the meaning of the text changes and that adjuster to changes with whoever's reading. It's that as we read it were reading it through the lens of our own experiences and our own needs and so particular passages might might speak to us quote" at one time in our lives more than than they did better at a prior point, and that's okay. That's all we continue to read the Bible and it sounds like that's just what you're doing. Amy and so may God bless you as you continue to do that and thank you for your call. Thanks much Amy. This is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez. Let's go to Elaine in Aurora, Missouri Elaine what your question for a drill program. We really get a lot of 22.

Around verse 29 when Jesus is talking about marriage and saying that there will be no marriage in heaven, and yet he will marry the bride of Christ in all so their contradiction or reasonable explanation for that package. Yes Elaine thank you for that question.

No contradiction, and I believe that there is a reasonable explanation in Matthew chapter 22. Where were Jesus is speaking there in response to a question that came to him from the Sadducees that the the the point that he's making what what he's he's arguing in favor of the doctrine of the resurrection that there is a resurrection which is what the Sadducees denied but it in the context there.

He also says you know it in heaven were neither you know married are given in marriage, like the angels in heaven.

That is to say that you know marriage is a part of this this world and were knocking to be married or getting married. When were in heaven in the presence of the Lord precisely because marriage is a picture of that great union between Christ and his church. The ultimate marriage is you know what Paul talks about in Ephesians 5 Christ and his bride. And so that's that's that's what our marriage is here on earth are pictures of and when we get to heaven working to have the reality reality. The marriage supper of the Lamb and because we have the reality we won't need that the picture anymore the shadow if you will, of what marriage is supposed to look like in the encouragement for all of us. Those of us were married is that our marriages would reflect that beautiful relationship that Jesus has with his bride husband's loving their wives as Christ loved the church, laying down their lives for their their wives and wives submitting their husbands as the church submits to Christ, it's his beautiful beautiful relationship that we see and and we get to heaven we can have the reality and so there's no contradiction marriage on earth is a type of shadow of the marriage is can exist between Christ and his bride in heaven. That's why there to be no more earthly marriage. Thank you for your question. Great explanation.

Thanks for that Pedro. This is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez's one of the ways you can submit a question to Israel is by emailing us and we get a lot of emails each week some great questions. If you'd like to email us. Here's the address it's questions at core, just the word crest questions at core, Ross emailed us and here's what he said. What should we do if we sense that our pastor has covert narcissistic personality disorder. We are concerned for him and his young family, but we have several members leaving our church and refusing to serve on committees or counsel with him. Yeah this is a real issue in the church today that may God have mercy on pastors on on us. One book that I think is really helpful. Russ and I would encourage you to get this book right away is a book written by Chuck D Grote DE GR OAT and it's called when narcissism comes to church. Healing your community from emotional and spiritual abuse. I read this book around last year and it is just a really powerful book for a couple of reasons. It helps to define what it looks like when there is a narcissist leading the church and so that that might give you some more clarity we really want when there is a significant issue here this this individual needs professional help there that the challenges oftentimes are someone who has this kind of disorder they are unable to see it. And so they need people around them. They need accountability they need, even intervention and so getting a hold of this this resource might help you in terms of giving you some more clarity about the issue.

I all of us.

I think we sometimes will say in all man II have these narcissistic tendencies and even reading the book I just a boy got a lot of things I need to repent of God used it in my own life is over, but there is something different were talking about it us. The serious clinical issue and so so that's where where you would need to differentiate. It could be that there there are maybe just habits that this pastor has were there needs to be repentance and accountability and and maybe the church can help with that. Or it could be that this is a much more serious issue and it's destroying this individual their family and they need to take a step away from ministry and and so I was to get a hold of that book when narcissism comes to your church and bill as as a counselor I do know if you have anything to add as well or you know if this truly is a clinical issue. As you said this individual's gonna need some professional help and sometimes there is going even have to be an intervention on the let's say the elders of the church for those that are closest to this individual. That's the first step in if it's truly a full-blown personality disorder. I yell some intervention needs to take place and that's where I think the elders need to step up. Yeah, this is core Christianity with Pastor Israel Sanchez and you know on this program we do receive a lot of calls from people who are wrestling with tough questions. If you listen very often you you know that's the case people even call concerned that they've done something so bad that they jeopardize their standing before God that they've lost their salvation will here at core Christianity.

Our mission is to help answer those tough questions, but we can't do it without your support. That's exactly right. You know, we also hear from people who want to share their faith with family members and friends but fear that they won't have answers to the tough questions that there asked her what gives people confidence in their faith and comforts with the truth of the gospel we take your questions and respond with biblical answers every day on the radio to our web articles and Bible studies. All of our efforts aimed to help people dig deep into the Scriptures showing them how the gospel of Jesus Christ is the power to equip believers with confidence and wisdom as they live out their Christian faith before watching world.

So if you benefited from core Christianity. Please consider giving a gift of $20 or more. Now, as a special thank you, will send you our new Bible study on the book of Philippians.

What guides our life.

What motivates us. What is a Christian life look like in practice as you are on the show. That's what people have questions about we find so many of the answers to those questions in the book of Philippians and that's exactly why we wrote this Bible study is really a great way to help you or somebody you know build confidence in understanding the Bible as a drill mansion with a gift of $20 or more to help support this ministry will send you a copy of the brand-new Philippians Bible study to pick up your copy just head over to core study that's core study let's get back to the phones we have Mary from Illinois calling Mary what your question for pastor. Israel hi Mary, what your question sister. I can hear you like how there were laws of the law and federal law and law requires that to observe the I don't see anybody worshiping the Sabbath and I felt I eagerly follow God and we follow you greater thank you Mary for that question question that we do receive from time to time here at core Christianity. How do we make sense of the Sabbath. Well, first I think the first time you you do see the Sabbath is in the early chapters of Genesis where God rested on the seventh day. It's interesting because that's the only day work where it doesn't say there was morning and there was evening, it's his picture of an eternal rest really God. The unit is these completed his labor and then later in Exodus chapter 20, where you know you have the giving of the law. You have that commandment the Sabbath commandment to rest now you mention the civil law and the ceremonial law.

You also have the moral law, and in a part of the moral law was.

I think this sort of Sabot Sabbath creation will call to rest. We are these these Sabot Darien creatures if you will call to labor and then to enter into rest and so your question is in terms of application today will obviously most Christians throughout the history of the church don't worship on Saturday they worship on Sunday.

So why is that and then what is that supposed to look like well the reason that Christian Christians in the Christian church worships on Sundays because that's the day Jesus rose again from the dead, he rose again on the first day of the week and so from the very beginning the apostles of our Lord themselves gathered together for worship, not just on the Sabbath, but on the first day of the week you think of what Paul says in acts chapter 20 what Luke records and ask chapter 20 verse seven it says on the first day of the week when we were gathered together to break bread assertive echoes back to acts 242, or talks about the disciples being focused on the breaking of the bread the fellowship the prayers. This is a worship service were gathered together to break bread, Paul talked with them intending to depart on the next day and he prolonged his speech until midnight give a sermon.

A very long sermon sermon that went till midnight.

You also see that the disciples of the Lord, the apostles, gathering together on the first day of the week in places like acts 16 versus 11 and two, there was a collection that was taken on the first day of the week and so it seems to meet Mary that that one the apostles of our Lord themselves, they began worshiping on Sunday was good enough for the apostles.

It's it's certainly good enough for me and the Sabbath is ultimately about that eternal rest was pictured way back in the early chapters of Genesis, which we only find in Jesus Christ, which is why he says in Matthew chapter 11.

At the end of the chapter come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. We find that true Sabbath rest in Jesus in his life, death and resurrection. Again, that's why the Christian started to gather together on Sunday.

Now do people today abuse the quote unquote Sabbath command I think so, insofar as they neglect to gather together with other believers in so far as they neglect to devote themselves to the worship of God.

That's were called to do. First and foremost I think that's how we keep the Sabbath holy. If you will, but again it's a shift that you do see in the New Testament and is a shift that the apostles themselves participated in and so that's why we gather together for worship on Sunday. Thank you for your question.

By the way we ever receive a lot of questions about the Sabbath on this program and we've developed a wonderful core question on this topic that really answers that question and more on the Sabbath. It's called why did the Sabbath day change to Sunday.

You can find that by going to core just look for that particular one on the Sabbath back to the phones we have Terry from Wichita Kansas calling in Terry what your question for pastor. Israel okay. When Lamont dear will quickly two-part question so quickly. Second Thessalonians chapter 2 verse 11 talks about the delusion that will be stamped so that you believe a lie. I just question. Do you think the first part of question do you think that people who are still here after the rapture of the church for the seven years of tribulation will get a second chance. Once that moment happens and then the second question is do you think that the older the both of you are, the more time that you spent with the word look at culture. Do you think that they'll be a fairly wide gap between the rapture of the church and the actual beginning of tribulation. Okay Terry, thank you, one for your encouragement and for your support. Glad you been listening the broadcast for a few months. We talk about the rapture from time to time. And of course you know that that that word rapture meets pertains to the end times. In particular, a view the end times. It says Jesus is going to come back. Rapture his church. First, those who are truly his, his elect and then there's in a be a period of time in between the rapture and the second coming, the final coming of Jesus Christ. A time of tribulation and some people to got to be seven years.

Some people think that's a be 3 1/2 years. Personally, Terry and I don't know if you've heard me say this on the broadcast before I, I, my view is that there's one coming of the Lord Jesus Christ at the end of the second coming. I actually in Matthew chapter 24 when it talks about the gathering together of the elect.

The sainted happens after this time of of tribulation and so I don't see it in Scripture that you have these these two different comings of Jesus that I know that again there's there are differences of opinion on this.

I don't think the people who take the other view are not Christians or are are foolish or anything like that. I think this is just something that we can disagree on as people who are students of the Bible and studying the Scriptures and and trying to understand these things and so the strong delusion in second Thessalonians chapter 211 is really is really focusing on what's taking place right before the second coming of the Lord Jesus Christ. That, and it's contemporaneous with that the coming of the antichrist. This this lawless one and that's that's really what you get. Beginning in verse eight of second Thessalonians 2 and then the lawless one will be revealed whom the Lord Jesus will kill with the breath of his mouth and bring to nothing by the appearance of his coming. That's the second coming.

The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders with all wicked deception for those who are perishing because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Right now we are called to love the truth to embrace it to embrace the gospel. Those who reject intern from the Lord continually their hearts are hardened and there can be the strong delusion that comes God giving them over to their own sinful desires. You see this in Romans chapter 1 because they they refused to love the truth.

Verse nine does the coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan, with all false signs and wonders with all wicked deception for those who are perishing because they refuse to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore, God sends them a strong delusion, and so right now here's our our focus needs to be on Jesus on the gospel on loving the truth, and it sounds to me Terry like you do and so I would encourage you to continue to dig into the Scriptures to fall more and more in love with Jesus.

As we look forward to his his blessed coming again. I bless you Jerry, thanks so much for your call for being a regular listener to core Christianity go to David in Kansas City, Missouri David, what's your question for pastor. Israel, okay?

Try to make it simple. If I can so and second Chronicles it talks about it. My people will call out and pray to me and that what it is, my people, who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from them and forgive their sins and will hear their land or heal their land.

So if there seems to be a distinction between his people, being the Jews and Christians.

That's kind of one part of this. But then in the book of Daniel. It talks about things that must happen book of Revelation.

It talks about things that must happen before Christ comes back it were praying for these things to not happen that are happening in this world right now, aren't we actually praying that God won't fulfill his prophecy and fulfill his work.

Hey David, thank you so much for that question, so I don't take a second Chronicles chapter 7 verse 14 is a prophecy of what what has to happen. What will happen in the future if my people were called by my name humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and heal their land. This comes in the context of the. The dedication of the Solomonic temple that the Temple of Solomon being dedicated under the old covenant and God's people were called to live in a particular way under the old covenant, and if they did, God would bless them if they didn't, God would curse them. You see the blessings for obedience and curses for disobedience outline places like Deuteronomy chapter 28 and so in light of that, you have this prayer God just saying look if you do right, you will be blessed if you don't do right. You won't be blessed but that that's really part of the old covenant economy.

It's really important that we understand it, so there's no contradiction. The prophecies we see in places like Daniel and the book of Revelation do talk about great destructions is this great upheaval if you will. Daniel chapter 2 talks about the vote the nations of the world being crushed by God's kingdom and so I mean ultimately though things are going to happen. You think the final judgment of the Lord Jesus Christ and so there's and there's no contradiction between what we have there and what we read there in second Chronicles chapter 7, which is really focused on Solomon his his people, God's people under the old covenant. So appreciate your question rather hopeful that that clears it up for you. It's so important friends that as were studying these these passages of Scripture, especially the Old Testament that we understand them in their context that's applying them to us directly as an individual or even us as Americans, but in their context. Thanks for listening to core Christianity request your copy of today's special offer.

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