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Seen. Known. Loved. - York Moore

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman
The Truth Network Radio
November 14, 2020 1:00 am

Seen. Known. Loved. - York Moore

Building Relationships / Dr. Gary Chapman

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November 14, 2020 1:00 am

Every person on the planet has longings inside placed there by God. But many never discover what they truly desire. So says author and speaker York Moore. On the next Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, he’ll talk about his own search for meaning and where that search led. He believes each person needs to be seen, known and loved.

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The love languages and your relationship with God that's coming up today on Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman Currier love of God break down the wall with the love of God can fill our hearts with hope when the going rate is nothing greater welcome building relationship.

Dr. Gary Chapman on the revenue bestseller, "The 5 Love Languages" . I guess today spent many years running from God and showing anger to Christian change when he realized God will hear more straight North Moore has said that within every person is an undeniable longing never totally shake and that long is because people search for a way to fill the void right we have some good news you are seeing your no you are love. That's the title of today's featured resource. Five love The book by Dr. Chapman in our York Moore seen known love five truths about God and your love life. You find out more. Five love Chris am excited about our conversation today, because the message or cares for us is the answer to a whole lot of the questions in our culture today was medium. Again, our York Moore is a speaker revivalist and abolitionist. He serves as Executive Director of catalytic partnerships and as national evangelist for inter-varsity Christian Fellowship USA York became a Christian from atheism while studying philosophy at the University of Michigan also has an MA in global leadership from Fuller seminary is the author of several books. He lives in the Detroit area with his wife and three children and you can find out more about him and his latest seen known love@ welcome back to Building Relationships last year with us, that we walk through your story and the home. You grew up in how that shape to butter. Why don't we begin with a review of that chapter of your life so that our audience gets to know you just a bit before we begin our discussion. Probably the least likely person to be talking to people about how to have a relationship with God raised his parents who were homeless off and on throughout my childhood, but when we were not homeless. We live in a home where my parents attacked on assignment from the house more the atheists and we had a barrel for burning bottles of the religious propaganda as my parents referred to it from time to time, and that when I went to the greatest University of Michigan not often mentioned at the University single blue eyes my nickname and my fraternity was Satan persecuted Christians and wrote papers against Christiansen became one miracle of all minerals, and now my great passion is to help everyone around me know how they can experience the love of God for themselves. Sounds like a similar experience to read about the Bible once by the name so that you mention it because I remember returning.

I became a Christian between semesters in my third year at Michigan. I'll never forget coming back after the long break and all of the Christians that I had persecuted when I began to defend Jesus in the classrooms. They all looked at me and that's exactly what they referred to me as the salt would you ever believe that you be doing what you're doing now when you were growing up, absolutely not. I thought maybe an astronaut or police officer never in evangelist for speaker, but I'll tell you what. Living my dream there is no greater honor than to speak well of Jesus. There is no greater privilege than to open the door for people to walk into a relationship with God and so is our high honor.

There's no greater honor than to serve the Lord. I think I know the answer to this Gary but I want to know how you and your got together to write this book seen known love story about a year and 1/2 ago, a member of your team.

Dr. Chapman came to me and said you know we really loved it. To create an evangelistic resource and Gary cares deeply about lost people and would love to rewrite something with an evangelist so that we could actually create a resource so that men could actually begin a relationship with God. That's what we try to put together in this thing known love book is what I what I call the more than the carpenter for emotionally sophisticated and curious generation.

Just like that book impacted millions of people's lives in the 70s and 80s were hoping to see single love to do is really open the door for people to have a first time step into a relationship with God through Christ I've forgotten really they say the very first thing that I knew Moody was involved in a not enough. You contacted Moody publishers are they contacted you, but I'm glad they brought us together because it was a good experience working with you and really do believe God's going to use this in a powerful way is matter fact that you know my wife and read this after it was published in the she said Gary this is a good book. This is going to help out and sees my editor you know most of my books are Susan, this one before but I was glad to hear a response for, well, let's get into the subject. Why do so many people struggle to feel love today what you think your biggest which is sin. We have use it floating around. It's more ubiquitous than the covert pandemic, every single woman and child have every man as this disease we call sin and prevents us from experiencing love from getting love it. It works our sense of love and so obviously that is the biggest reason why people don't experience love and I think what one of the things I've been deeply impacted by your writing Gary through "The 5 Love Languages" that we also don't experience love because often times were receiving love in the way that we were required to receive it, and I'll never forget being a young married guy 23 years ago. My first year of marriage and I'm trying to love my wife well through my love language. I had never heard of a lot languages at that point in time and so I was greatly helped, but my love languages words of affirmation, and I'll never forget my wife getting irritated.

Day after day because I would tell Karen I would park my car behind her car. She had to go to work before I had to go to work and she'd have to move my car every single morning. Now this went on for weeks before I realized himself told me that I was tucking her in.

She got my solution was to encourage her with words of affirmation you're doing a good job but what I wasn't going to fly because my life is not languages in acts of service for me to get out of bed moved that car or maybe even better.

Not Parker in the first place. And so oftentimes people don't experience love because people are giving us love in the way that which we are were not really wired to receive love. I have three kids and each of them have a different love language. My oldest one is a student at the University Michigan and his love languages quality time and for all he wants to do is hang out back tinker with his project car and for me to watch out.

I couldn't love him well by just doing a few at a boys and be on my way, but he wouldn't receive that love that the end of the day, so oftentimes our conception of love is broken. We don't understand what love is. Because of sin, and when we do understand love oftentimes were not receiving it because people are trying to give it to us in a way that we weren't meant to receive everybody seeking something most people agree it's the deepest emotional need is to feel about other people and what what do you think that's the full explanation hours or more to this this looking for love and other people. Often, least an emptiness sorted Gregory throughout Europe.

Your teaching in your marriage work, retreats and conferences and oftentimes some.

We were designed to give and receive love and there's a human element, but what we do in our brokenness as we subvert human life and we substituted for the divine love that we were intended to experience what I mean is this, that human love love between a husband and wife, father and son, even friends that's all.

By design to mirror our love relationship with God and in other words, we we experience got the love that God has for us by experiencing love to others but so oftentimes what we want to do is we don't have anything to do it God that comes with obligations and like changing and submission to his rules, which are really rules set to lift us up and help us to live our best life, but in reality what we want is the quick and easy love that's on our terms, and so we substitute God's love with human at the end of the day we can experience love the way it was intended to be experienced unless were actually experiencing it first and foremost relationship with God is what you think. We often have lack of motivation or whatever to to really love other people. You're the expert on map and I would say you know my experience you absolutely because what happens is we getting the cycles of disappointment. Cycles of disillusionment we wait we take the risk to lawful boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other and inevitably they let us down because they have this disease we call sin. Inevitably, the cycle ends with heartbreak and over the course of time because we haven't filtered our understanding and our experience through our relationship with God through Christ.

We only settle for the human expression of love and we found it empty. Time and time again that's over the course of time. We give up on the idea of love. In fact, somebody just emailed me or message me through my website this week and said you know II just don't believe in my I've settled for sex that that's his idea of the ultimate expression of human existence given up on love.

I have experienced it. I don't believe it exists. I believe that's because he hasn't experienced first and foremost relationship with God through Christ. He settled on human expressions of love to substitute for that we learn about God through "The 5 Love Languages" . I think God is fluid and all of languages that is to say that they are hardwired and what means to be human part of the genius of your your writings and why it's been so influential all over the world is because it intuitively connects with the human heart. There something inside of us that tells us that we were wired to love and to receive love in the way in which we have been created by our creator, not even if you're an atheist as I was. Even if you deny the existence of God or something. And if it longs for that these love languages help us make sense of why it's so oftentimes we struggle to give to receive love you.

And when we connect with our love language would get it in or something just electric watching somebody go through your your book or take the test and for the first time. It's a rare rare thing that I meet somebody who hasn't taken the five love language test, but I was getting my hair cut a few weeks ago when I was in the butt in the barbershop thereunder was a young girl and older woman there waiting on me and I should do now have taken the love languages, halogen, and to my surprise, the younger one lit up and said I just took at the old ones I had never heard of it. When you take this test you you you discover who you were created to be. It opens a window of understanding for the self and it allows us to change our behavior so that we can actually begin to walk in love, and experience level talk about meeting the emotional need for love it's feeling love you know about the other person that we long for. What does it mean to feel God's love. Now I don't think God is interested in officers having a sound theology of love to write doctrine of mouse arrow.

If you've been in a love relationship. I've been happily married now for 23 years and five I I've experienced love now in a profound deep way. No one had to tell me at the beginning of my story with my wife that I was in love.

I felt no one had to convince me they didn't have to write a treatise it on so III think that oftentimes, especially Christians, which is just heartbreaking. We we think we checked the mental doctoral theological box on what love is.

We know the right Greek word for what love is and therefore we can we can pass through and we can get on to other things.

It's interesting as McGarry that God defines himself but God isn't just merely being that lives God is love. The Scripture tells us to love and someone in some ways is everything.

It's all that we were created to be.

It's the penultimate of what we were created to experience God is love and being made in the image of God.

We are at our best.

We are at our most fulfilled when we are living into love and that means feeling not just knowing that we love you we are loved, but feeling that what you we do it, so it makes all the difference in the world absolutely well is social media complicated things when it comes understanding love in our culture. I think first things first, we need to acknowledge that the online world is a real part of our lives since it's not an escape from reality. It is itself reality and it's open the door for us to live a kind of life that throughout human history has been absolutely beyond imagining in order to say that I have best friends in Germany or Italy be through my gaming behavior and it's opened up relationships meant for my children. Some of my children some very best friends are our people that they've never met that liberal world away. They been in relationships now, with her 510 years for online gaming and social media has deftly open that door as well. Now the Darkside is that we were never intended to experience love through merely virtual experience that is to say that in person relationships.

Face-to-face relationships are how we have been designed by our Creator to experience this idea of love social media augments that it supplements that, but I think in this generation. What has happened is that it has replaced so you think about young people in your life, thought Chris and Gary, you know, you might have nieces or nephews or grandchildren.

You know they would rather talk to somebody virtually on chat or through text message try different direction. Make a phone call or walk up to the person at the counter and have a face-to-face conversation. It's almost impossible way in which social media has actually replaced our expectations of what in person relationships look like when we did the field testing for this book. What Gary and I found was that that the social media chapter in sing-along had been greatest impact on millennial engines. The readers that they they they found themselves repenting and realizing how they had substituted their online life for their in-person life know this is easy to see in the mariculture around the world really in terms of looking for online relationships to satisfy the longing of the human heart and in the course. It doesn't let's move to the love languages. In this talk, first of all about words of affirmation. What are some of the common struggles faced by those who have words of affirmation is there. Love language well you know that's my love language and so when I first took your test open my eyes to so many things in terms of why I felt unloved.

In some contexts, why I felt loved and others, and I think for people whose love language is that words of affirmation what their heart hope that cry of their hearts are great ambition is to be seen write a word of affirmation person when you give us that Anna boy when you recognize something you know your your wife reach the book and since audit that's really well written on that word of affirmation sinks deep in my heart because it helps me to believe that-seen by somebody it's I think I think deep in the recesses of our la carte were driven by these dark hopes and these households have a correspondence with these love languages so for instance, a person is love languages your acts of service there really asking the question that might impact him are going to leave a legacy. What difference is my life making a person's love languages gifts. Oftentimes what she's asking is my worth anything. My living a worthwhile life. And so for me as a word of affirmation person. It really helps me when somebody affirms me verbally. It helps me to believe that somebody sees me that I'm not invisible. I think anyone who has words of affirmation that was exactly what you're saying because it's true. So I was hearing God's words of affirmation differ, then we hear words of affirmation from another human really the privilege and honor of being a follower of Jesus Christ that we get to praise our Creator with the words of our mouth, we get to lift him up and give words of affirmation to him, but I think for those on the receiving end when we get a word of affirmation from God. When God says I see you I know your name. When God says you're not invisible to me when we read his word and he tells us the things that are true about us that we have a heavenly inheritance that isn't dependent upon the whims and that the failures of this world, it does something in us that no word of affirmation from a human being can ever do. Not even from a spouse. Not even from somebody that we deeply love and trust. When God affirms us with his word. It changes everything. It changes how we define ourselves. It changes how we define our sense of worth what our goals and our ambitions are the most important thing that any single person in this world could possibly do is to invest themselves in the study of God's word is the greatest thing that anybody will ever do because as we invest ourselves in the word of God. We actually hear those words of affirmation we spend quality time with got God gives us the gift of his presence every single one of our love languages is answered as we sit before the word of God is one of the words that turn to again and again because not my leveling these words of affirmation also is Isaiah 4110. Fear not for I with you, so don't be dismayed your God. I will strengthen you and I'll help you all uphold you with my righteous right hand. Well then that's a firm so you have the Bible is filled with that you know and as we as we listen to read it and listen to God, we do we do, since those words of affirmation do you allude a little bit of this, but we also than if this is our love language.

We tend to express our love to God through words of affirmation so so so hot. How does that play into this a little bit more natural, especially in a church setting. We have scheduled it in so we will sing God's praises will he tell God your beautiful you are glorious you are worthy know what were doing is worth speaking those words of affirmation. God doesn't need any reminding you know when I tell my wife at the end of a long day. I love you honey.

I give her a cup of coffee. She doesn't need to be convinced that I love her. She needs to experience that love in our relationship with God is just like that God desires to experience our love to him and one of the ways we can do that is through words of affirmation, love lines of acts of service. How do we continue to fight for a better world when were just so tired and feel like the act is simply too much is this is overwhelming and some never going to accomplish anything worthwhile talk a bit about that. Love language in the person that has that is their primary love language when I get into that in this book seen on love. We didn't do quite a bit actually and were living in an age where the acts of service people amongst us are filling our streets on the left and the right. They are filling our streets for causes that seem to be multiplying day by day. At the end of the day. I believe deeply that people who are driven by this acts of service love language are there there driven by this great ambition to make a difference in the world to have an impact to leave a legacy and that certainly these are trying times.

Whether were talking about civil unrest.

Whether were talking about race relations, the political season that were in the pandemic family and all the the obstacles that places see in our everyday lives interfering very difficult days but what an opportunity for somebody with love languages, acts of service to actually get out there and to make a difference in small ways in large ways. There are lots of ways I think. It's harder.

However, for people who are actually service people to be receiving love during this phase and so oftentimes you know are acts of service requires communal expression, congregational gatherings, large groups and no we aren't supposed to be doing that and on other tapping anyways but so oftentimes you know if it's coming at great peril at great risk. And so it's very very difficult to give and receive love in a variety of ways, but I think the tickly fracture service people. These are challenging days receiving gifts.

How do we keep from falling into the trap of basing our worth our value on whether we receive gifts or have successful gatherings set to use the other.

Another price beautiful chapter and sing aloft about this. Are we getting the benefit oftentimes people who are gift givers.

It's not the gift itself. It's the thoughtfulness of the expression consideration.

My second child. Addison just moved out to California over the weekend to do a year of missions in California before she starts college and I love languages, gifts, and that it was really telling. We just had a going away party for her and she pulled up his treasure chest.

Gifts that I had given her mother and I have given her over the last five or 10 years. Some of the things that she treasure. I had forgotten they were almost inconsequential.

I didn't think much about them but for her it was those were moments in time marked for life and she pulled them out as treasures to mark this new chapter in her life. I think oftentimes forget givers what doing the reason why those gifts find such a place in her heart and marked their stories is because they think how that person, you have worth your valuable to me. I'm expressing my consideration. My acknowledgment of you by this tangible gift. The gift in some ways is inconsequential. It's a consideration behind it because it expresses our value for your work with your past. Even your name are is for eyeing brand and coming from an atheist perspective is wild for you to be talking about five love languages in this concept. The uniform for that's come out of Dr. Gary Chapman's ministry over these years ever doubt that God has a sense of humor. Just take a look at life and I'm the least likely person to be doing what I'm doing but again it's just such a privilege and honor to know Christ and to help make him known to others will look back and recognize that we are who we are placing God alone is matter of gifts. You know the story in the New Testament of the prodigal son was that teach us about the love lines of gifts and God's perspective on giving gifts to us are so much in that chapter preach on that chapter now for over 20 years got great law for the older son where we could take a whole show and just talk about that but when the younger son is finally restored when he comes to his senses and said how many of my father's hired hands had more than enough to eat. He makes his way happen hand back to his loving father expecting with good reason that he would be offered some meager lowly stable boy John and instead what he gets to his surprise as a running falling full embrace cast as his father welcomed him back and welcome back, didn't stop at the embrace.

The embrace itself was itself a gift.

It was a gift of grace.

It was a gifted acceptance of the first and the father diathesis bring up that fattened calf bring out that role, which would've differentiated himself from the hired man bring out the signet ring which would've been the credit card of the day and he establishes him financially, familiarly, he establishes him in all these ways, but he does it with the tangible gifts that would've been associated with his state. At the start of the hired hand is a son. It's such a beautiful story. Only we could spend the whole show just talking about how the love languages play in it for themselves out of that that story but at least that's how I would read Gary when we think about what God is given us so means snow everything life itself and then forgiveness and then eternal life in plan is a gift giver man let's let's think a little bit about physical touch because I think people often don't think about.

Well, God's gonna touch me physically if that's your love language how your experience, you know God's love through physical touch the invisible God, become to us in so many ways. In the chapter that we talk about this and say, no love. We talk about a dog.

In the history of Israel of a were in exile. They were sure that God had forgotten or given up on them and they were in a desperate desperate place. They cry out to God and the way in which God answers them as it is in this role. It's it's very meaningful. Three purposeful and we get into this in this chapter, but I want to tell you every single person can experience this in their lives. Even right now maybe our listeners driving in the car listening to this on her phone number on Ron and their earbuds or whatever it might be. Maybe you're in a difficult spot, and you wish this visit this invisible God to become visible mate you wish you could experience a hug from God. I want to tell you that that's possible. Every school day of our lives in all the things that were surrounded Gary around by just common life experience a sunset or sunrise a passing smile from a child. A warm hello from the brief to making our lot, whatever it might be either these common experiences with the Holy Spirit does is he takes these common experiences in our lives and impresses them upon Arsenal at the right moment and I'll never forget driving in the college. I was very discouraged and I had that I become a new believer and I was facing a difficult difficult time with my family. They were rejecting me because of my newfound faith I was the first believer in my family of atheists and I was on my way to college and I thought for sure that you know that God had abandoned me to work it out with my family on my own and I also felt alienated like I had lost my family as a result of following Christ will never forget turning the corner driving up to the University and all of a sudden this beautiful sunrise. Just crush the shoulder top of the trees and I had seen at sunrise every single time I had written the campus at that that that day and time, but at the moment.

It was as if that reached into the car and grabbed hold of me and said hi and your family. I'm father and right now, where were you, whoever you are, whatever you're listening to God can reach in your life in the same way and physically tangibly in that same way, etc. greater than in that moment in that car. I felt as if I was receiving a dozen hops you the way in which God can touch our lives.

It is more powerful than the physical touch that we experience routers shared with me some time ago is love languages physical touch his own encounter with God and that he said Gary I didn't go to church but is that I went to church this friend of mine and I heard this pastor preaching and he said I was just sitting there trying to still not be obvious to anybody and he said my body start shaking and he said tears kingdom's is. Before I knew it my whole body was shaking and I just sits God God God is his Goddess ear youth. Not everybody has that kind of experience, but if your physical touch person you might well have that kind of experience because you will say it's God's presence physically that we would talk about being hugged by God in way in the book we cited your being hugged by God right now whether you know it or not, will what you mean by that concept.

God is always at work in our lives. And you know what I first became a believer I was an honor student in philosophy looking for God, I actually went to take my life and moment of conversion. It's a much longer story than we have time for here today, God used a simple poem called footprints in the sand and read it before.

I didn't think much of it.

It's a simple story about how God is at work in our lives even when were unaware of his presence during the difficult times the low times God is at work in our lives, carrying us even, and you know it was during those times where I didn't know God was at work he was at work the hardest. I oftentimes we don't see what God's doing. But if it weren't for God's activity in our lives, no matter how bad our circumstances are.

They would be way worse. God loves us.

He is, his angels were here are the happy is the Holy Spirit working on our behalf. God is at work in our lives to help us experience his love and to be saved from from sin and from damnation. These kinds of things and so God is actively at work because our sin. We don't see it all the time and oh God is like now even though we might feel as if we been abandoned God's timing is right now.

Even if we feel as if we been forgotten. Never done with us. He's always striving with us working out a plan so that we can actually come to the knowledge of him through Christ that we see God's hand when we're looking back on our lives. We don't see in the present. We look back and say oh God was in that I see now that term in a different direction that will experience whatever happened but once we become believers in Christ, and we accept his gift of forgiveness and eternal life in a relationship with him.

How does participating in worship.

Help us experience or feel God in his presence.

So often we feel God until we actually start exercising our faith in one of the simplest ways we can do that is backed by spaces these days of COBIT been hard for everybody, myself included, and I found myself walking around my property. We are just moved to about 10 acre farm.

Just a few days before lockdown.

Michigan and I was separated from my my team and ministry are much separated from a church that not feeling very close to the border reading his word, but not really sensing his presence and I said to myself to make the decision to praise his name to make the decision to worship him until I feel now that might sound artificial in the naysayers and the doubters out there might say, well of course you're manufacturing these feelings and those kinds that's okay that's okay sometimes we actually need to put the pot before the horse. We sunset we actually need to exercise her faith before we speak with and worship the simplest way that we can be.

We we can begin to do that all oftentimes we had a bad day go to wash the dishes or pick up the kids clothes or do some mundane task and worship song pops in our heart, mind, which is begin the hum of the little bit but then eventually we begin between words that eventually the spirit God flood your heart and we begin to realize we are deeply loved by God.

Worship opens that door worship opens the door to feeling God's presence to feeling God's love the experience that your clean. I'm driving down the road and I have found that person radio and the song comes on.

Sometimes it's a song I've known sometimes as a new song and I'm just listen to the words of that in the middle of all of it. I just physically since God's presence in a home is just a warm feeling and sometimes I do say yes God, thank you for so yeah it's a relationship, but one of the other topics we discussed in the book is this whole issue of loneliness and in our culture.

Loneliness is recent epidemic level. Not only here but in other countries. In fact, you mentioned this in the UK and I had not heard this until I saw in the portion you wrote in this book that that the United Kingdom even now has a minister of loneliness. What is what's led us to this reality that we see such as set deep sense of loneliness today. Minister of loneliness with the staff team and buildings all working to end the pandemic of loneliness and certainly that's what is a pandemic that is more deadly than the culvert in my opinion is a pandemic that is impacted families deeply marriages deeply.

Loneliness is something that we can experience when were in the middle of a large crowd when were in the middle of a happy family. Loneliness is all around us and I think part of the reason why were experiencing such loneliness is certainly culvert is accelerated that were living behind closed doors and behind masks and were not able to embrace even before culvert. We were on our way to a global pandemic of loneliness and I think a large part of that use our substitute of online interactions which are quick oftentimes can be biting you. Think of how often the Internet is filled with just cantankerous. I'm loving the ungraceful speech that we have substituted this online world. For in person community. Furthermore, I think, true community happens when God is at the center of that community. I think about the best times of my life were all in communities where Jesus was the center where were studying his word were on mission were praying with one another were sharing life with one another, carrying one another's burdens. That's when we are at our best when were not only in relationships with others wearing relationships where Jesus is actually the center of those relationships, but the world doesn't get that work as well. I can just substitute sex or online work, whatever it may be an over the course of time what that produces in our hearts is just an absolute vacuum and got a standing by ready to fill that vacuum with himself ready to fill us to the brim. As we open our hearts to relationship with God through Jesus Christ is reading the article talks about Harvard University and the tremendous sense of loneliness that so many of the students experience there. They come from all over the world are highly motivated and so they dig into the studies and all of that with there's no community there and run after I read that article I was talking to the father who has a daughter who went to a secular university here in North Carolina and he said you know there she met Christians she got in the Christian study group and that was several years ago. She's now a medical doctor. She still keeps up with those gals.

It was in that Bible study group, he said, and that was in a secular university, not this. It's not the educational setting is whether or not we know God and we are working with God's people we bill those deep, deep relationships that the opposite of loneliness. So yeah, well what our relationship with Jesus, must be the primary relationship of our life if we have a relationship. It will be the primary relationship, but what's the difference between being a fan of Jesus and being a follower of Jesus. Now with University Christian Fellowship for 25 years or touring the country of spoken and large churches, small churches back. The church's parking lot, you name it and you know I really do think that many religious people in America today are nothing more than stands, meaning that they get excited about, you know, the things of religion that they go to church for a variety of reasons. They enjoy Christian music and read Christian books, and even got Christian conferences actually following Jesus or take all of the goods and services that this religious industry has to give them and there are a lot, you know, we think about the concerts and conferences, and there's nothing wrong with that and all those conferences and conferences are oftentimes places where people meet God in deep and profound ways and you and I are are oftentimes speakers at those events, but a lot of times people are at these events and the readings books and listening to music simply because it makes them feel good. Now this might be counterintuitive that some of the things that I've said earlier in the show but our relationship with God isn't merely about us feeling good. God cares about our feelings, and he wants us to feel loved, but he wants our whole lives. He wants our submission to his Lordship and that the difference between a fan of followers of fan receives all the good things without paying the price follower of Jesus pays the price she wakes up every day and says, Lord your ways my ways were what we have for me today and she listens to the voice of the Holy Spirit.

She obeys the words of the Scriptures and she lives her life according to God's ways fans don't do that fans down the rabbit trail and a take her any good thing that they possibly could but eventually there is a reckoning. Eventually fans are asked to pay the price. And very often. That's when they actually turned away.

They were never followers to begin with. They were merely fans. One of the practical ways of following him only spending time with him and whether or not to quality time is your love language as believers in Christ, we want to spend time with him. What are some practical ways that you can spend quality time with God, I'm so thankful for you during your your writing some really had a deep impact on me because if there is such a thing as an anti-love language quality time would be it for me so you know I really dislike spending prolonged time with anybody introvert is everybody surprised him, an evangelist, but in my mind, everything can be handled five minutes just a couple at a boys get done and then to retreat your own quarter but quality time is such an important thing for many people.

My firstborn son, you know, that's his love language and it took me a long time very long time. Unfortunately, to realize that you know when he was asking me to spend time on the floor doing some kind of puzzle work, watch and build a YouTube site when he was a little bit older or not work on his project car behind the barn frame. It's not about the activity and I couldn't I couldn't understand. Let's just finish the puzzle that will be done for him. It was about was about the journey was about spending time so I'm incredibly thankful for you and your writings because that open the door for me to understand how to receive them how to give love, rather, to my own son.

Let's face it, our entire world and certainly our country is experiencing challenges today that we have experienced in decades. How can what were talking about today. How can love. In particular, loving God help us through the through these times 12 1039 literally what order solutions under another economic stimulus. Another political leader. Another best-selling book number six. None of those things are going to change the maladies and we have in America. Only the love of Christ. Only the love of Christ, people are putting their hope in a political leader or vaccine or stimulus check or some changed policies that are going to erase our car up the past injustices there going to be holding their breath for a very long time but I want to tell you the love of God and break down the walls hostility the love of God can fill our hearts with hope when there is none. The love of God can even raise the dead. There really is nothing greater that we could put our hope in in the love of God is this are believers in Christ.

What I will mail it down. The one thing but what what we need to be doing during these these crisis times why we need to be staying close to her father first and foremost anything else that we do from that if were not actually walking with God ourselves. It's just going to be empty work and so were in the middle of her many many people realize this but were in the middle of a global campaign called the year of the Bible 2020 was designated in late 2019 is the year of the Bible were challenging people across the world to to actually read the Bible through cover, or maybe it's for their first time to consistently read the Bible and so we've built this massive coalition around Bible reading and so for Christians oftentimes were going on fumes were living our Christian life based on a conference. We went to 20 years ago we were a month ago but we were invited into a day by day relationship with God. Show the first and foremost thing that I would to Christians during these times of day of just transition and upheaval to stay close to heavenly father and the mother one way you could do that is to get into the word you've neglected the word of God in your life. Can I invite you to open it up today and will and and make a plan to actually be in the word every day so that you can hear the voice of God, and he can lead you in the way that you should go. That's by far the number one think the Christians would read the word of God and they would obey the word of God.

How different where churches or communities or schools or universities or workplaces.

We could literally change the world.

If we could take the word of God seriously certainly agree with that thing, spending time in the Scriptures, realizing that God speaks to us through the Scriptures and then empowers us to do what we read in the Scriptures.

While this is been a delightful time talking with you.

Your can I do hope that many people will read this book and then CS Christians read it and then see it as a tool to give to two non-Christians say read this and tell me what you think about that because I think it will strike a note with those who are not Christians but thanks for working with me on this book and a thanks for our conversations and I God bless you, see known love five truth about God, your love language. Find out more website. Five love Augustine been arguing more and you can hear this conversation right there as well. Five love languages and next week if you feel stuck and frustrated and defeated.

Don't witness any island feel helpless to stop the spiral of toxic. Don't miss the conversation in one big thank you to our action team time Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman radio in association with publishing ministry and thanks for the

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