How to Treat Good (but Imperfect) People - Part B

For some of us, we have been conditioned to be so negative that if you put us in a situation where we meet new people, we immediately go negative.

We pick out all the faults, all the problems, all the reasons it can't be done, blah, blah, blah. So you need to be trained by God's grace and hopefully this message will help a little bit to start looking for positive traits because you can find positive traits in the worst people. The church is made up of imperfect people, trusting in a perfect Savior, but God still calls us to honor one another. Today on Connect with Skip Heitzig, Skip shows you how Paul affirmed the sacrifice of one of his dear friends.

You'll learn how you too can encourage your brothers and sisters in the faith. Then at the end of today's program, Skip and his wife, Lenny, share what it looks like to honor those around you in a way that honors Jesus. So I think you do that by telling them that you appreciate in them.

So just tell them, I noticed you do this. Thank you. That goes a long way. And then show them, you know, you could not just thank them, but you could bring them a donut, a hamburger, a veggie burger, a gift card, something nice that says, I know you do this. I just wanted to be able to serve you this way.

Thanks, Skip. Be sure to stay tuned after today's message to hear the full conversation. Now we want to tell you about a resource that will encourage you even more in your walk with God. Reading the Bible can lead to asking some serious questions like, is the rapture real or how can I overcome anxiety? These two questions are among those answered in Pastor Skip's Picks, a new DVD of four impactful messages by Skip Heitzig. Imagine knowing somebody who knows everything about you.

Now imagine somebody who knows everything about you and loves you anyway. That's what we're dealing with when we deal with the knowledge of God. This collection of some of Pastor Skip's most memorable teachings also includes what most people don't know about heaven. And it's our thanks for your gift of $25 or more to connect more people to God's life-changing word.

Visit connectwithskip.com slash offer to give online securely or call 800-922-1888. 800-922-1888 and request your copy of Pastor Skip's Picks. Okay, we're in Philippians chapter two as Skip Heitzig starts today's study. Next time a missionary comes to town and we have our missionaries from the field come back during the year, they set up a kiosk often in the foyer. Sometimes we'll on a Wednesday night bring them up and pray for them and hear from them.

Next time you see a missionary back home, would you mind going up to them and just give them a good word, word of encouragement. Thank them for going to the field on your behalf. You go, on my behalf? Yes, on your behalf.

You're not there, you didn't go, I didn't go. So they are sent out by us, from us, and they're out there in very difficult situations and it's always great when somebody acknowledges that they did that. You thank them for that. My dad was a fisherman and, I mean, he was into fishing and he had his buddies and he tried to get us into fishing and it's like, whatever, I really wasn't into it and sorry if you're a fisherman and you hear that. I've disappointed you, perhaps, but when they would talk about fishing, I mean, man, they were just so into where they would go hunting or fishing and if I were to ask, let's say you are a fisherman here, you really get it, if I were to ask you, okay, think of the best place you can think of in your mind right now, best place you've ever gone fishing. You probably won't say Shady Lakes over here, although that's a great place for your family because they stock it full of fish.

You can throw your little line there and get fish any day of the week, but it's probably not your favorite. I'm going to hear something probably like this, oh man, I know this place, but it's so far away and it's hard to get to and once you get there, you got to hike in and camp out and it's kind of difficult and dangerous, but man, the fish are hungry. That's missions. That's missions, willing to go to another difficult place because the fish are hungry there. So treat your ambassadors, your messengers, with respect and love. Well, there's a fifth that Paul mentions about Epaphroditus and that is also in verse 25, the one who ministered to my need. Look at all five of them, brother, fellow worker, fellow soldier, your messenger, and the one who ministered to my need.

Paul isn't just throwing that in. He's using a very particular term here for ministered to my need. The word he uses is the word leitourgos. We get the word liturgy from that. It speaks about a sacred duty, like a priest would perform, a sacerdotal duty, a sacred duty of a priest. So what the Apostle Paul is doing with his friend and brother Epaphroditus is taking his service and elevating it to the performance of a sacred task.

Now I have a question for you. Have you done that with your occupation? Do you go to work and go, I hate my job. God, why do I have this job? Or do you go to the job and say, I am here by divine appointment. God called me to this and I am embracing this as a calling of God to discover what people He wants me to reach. When I used to work in medicine and radiology and I would share the gospel with people when they were breaking, or we had time to have discussions, I remember one guy came up to me that I worked with and he said, Skip, you ever think about getting out of this and getting into full-time ministry? And I remember I said to him, let me let you in on a little secret. I am in full-time ministry right now.

He said, what do you mean? I said, well, I'm talking to you. I've invited you to church. You won't go to church.

So I'm here right now talking to you. And I see this as my full-time ministry. And I love that Paul does that with Epaphroditus, takes his service, his ministry, brings it up to the level of a sacred duty. Like the housewife who had a sign above her sink that read, divine service rendered here three times daily.

She saw that as a calling from God to minister to her family, a sacred duty from the Lord. So all said, learn to look at people through the lens of their strengths, of their attributes, of their beneficial qualities. Don't always notice their faults. Start noticing their strengths.

Now I have to say something. This won't come naturally for some of us. For some of us, we have been conditioned to be so negative that if you put us in a situation where we meet new people, we immediately go negative. We pick out all the faults, all the problems, all the reasons it can't be done, blah, blah, blah. So you need to be trained by God's grace.

And hopefully this message will help a little bit. So start looking for positive traits, because you can find positive traits in the worst people. So there was a woman who always complimented everyone, and it drove her friend nuts. And one day her friend said, you know, I think you would probably even compliment the devil. And she thought about that and said, well, you got to admit he is persistent. You got to admit he is persistent. So it can be done.

And Paul did it. He acknowledged his strengths. Here's the second principle in treating good but imperfect people. Not only acknowledge their strengths, accept their shortcomings.

Accept their shortcomings. Okay, let me tell you what's happening here, because you read it. Epaphroditus makes 800 mile journey, six week journey, comes to Rome. He gets sick.

And the word is a very strong word. It's the same word used of Lazarus when he got sick and died. Paul says Epaphroditus almost died. So he comes and gets sick either on the journey or while he is in Rome.

And Epaphroditus finds out that the Philippians found out that he was sick. So when they found out that he was sick, they got all distressed. Well, when Epaphroditus found out that they found out and that when they found out they got distressed, he's distressed because they're distressed. He's anxious because they're anxious.

He's concerned because they're concerned. And so watch this, verse 25. Yet I considered it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus.

Epaphroditus came from Philippi. He's sending him back to Philippi. Verse 26. Since he was longing for you all and was distressed because you heard he was sick.

Go down to verse 28. Therefore I sent him the more eagerly that when you see him you may rejoice and I may be less sorrowful. Okay, normally when a guy gets sick and gets better, you just write a letter and say, he's better now. Don't worry yourselves. He's good. He's healthy.

Everything's great. But what Paul does, he goes, I'm writing this letter and you, Epaphroditus, are taking it back. I'm sending you back.

You stay back home. Why? We'll look at verse 26 just once more time. He was longing for you all. The word means a deep, intense longing, a deep desire, a yearning for. So the New English translation renders it, he greatly missed all of you.

Here's what I think is happening. I think that not only did Epaphroditus get physically sick, he has a bad case of homesickness as well. He's yearning for them. He misses them. He misses home. And now he hears that they're distressed, that he was distressed.

He goes, oh, he's pining away. So Paul says, you know, I found it necessary just to send him back home. I'm sending him back to you. He's coming back. Therefore, receive him.

Now, I see this as Paul's gracious attitude in overlooking a young man's weakness. He's not making a big deal of it. He's honoring and building him up, but he's sending him back home.

He's yearning for you. I'm sending him back home. Now, follow me here.

I'm sending him back home. Now, follow me here. I believe Paul the Apostle himself has grown in grace a little bit.

What do I mean? Well, on his first missionary journey, Paul and Barnabas take a young man, Barnabas' nephew, named John Mark. John Mark gets homesick, runs back to Jerusalem. When they went to Pamphylia, he goes, I'm out of here, goes back home. So when the journey's done and Paul says, you know, Barney, that's Barnabas, we ought to go back and visit all those places one more time and see all those people who made their decisions to follow Christ. And Barney goes, awesome, I'm going to take John Mark, my nephew, again. Paul goes, no, you're not. He left us the first trip.

He flaked out one time. He is not going back with us again. Well, an argument broke out between Barney and Paul. And they went their separate ways.

That was then, this is now. Now we have Epaphroditus, who was longing for you all. And Paul says, I'm sending him back home, but he does it very graciously. He makes it easier for Epaphroditus to go back home. He does not say, I'm sending Epaphroditus, the wimp, back to you, the weasel, so he can stay with you and Philippi, the guy who couldn't cut it. He's very gracious with him.

He makes it easy for him to go back home. There was a family and the kids decided to give dad for his birthday a genealogical record of his family history. He'd always wanted to know who his relatives were in the past, where he had come from. So the kids got together and said, let's give that gift to dad. They hired a biographer to look in the records and find out the different family tree. Well, the biographer came to the family, got the kids aside and said, well, we have a problem. It seems that in your family history, there's this Uncle George, who down in Alabama killed somebody, he's a murderer, and he was sentenced to death by the electric chair. And they thought, oh man, that's a blot on our family record.

That's the black sheep of the family. We don't want that in there. At the same time, that's part of our history.

You have to write about it. So they said, just go ahead and include it. Well, when the biographer was done and presented the journal of the family records, they were delighted in the way he treated Uncle George. He put it this way, Uncle George occupied a chair of electronics at an important government institution. He was attached to his position with the strongest of ties, and his death came as a real shock.

Come on, you got to hand it to the biographer for adding a little finesse and grace to the story of Uncle George, making the truth a little easier. Now, you remember that Paul the Apostle calls the church by the title, The Body of Christ. And he said, the church is like a human body. There are parts of it that are noticeable. There are parts of it that you don't see, but are very vital. And so he writes this, 1 Corinthians 12, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable. And those parts that we think are less honorable, we treat with special needs.

Or less honorable, we treat with special honor. See, everybody has strengths. And everybody has weaknesses. Everybody has assets. Everybody has deficits. Everyone is gifted in some area.

Everyone is not gifted in other areas. But friendship flourishes at the fountain of forgiveness. And when you can overlook certain people's faults and foibles, it goes a long way. That's how you treat good but imperfect people, acknowledge their strengths and accept their shortcomings. Let me give you a, please go ahead, I'll let you respond, sorry.

Let me give you a third and we'll close. Affirm their sacrifice. Now watch verse 27. Paul says, For indeed, or really, man, he was sick almost unto death, but God had mercy on him, and not only on him, but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. Verse 29, Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem. For because of the work of Christ, he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.

Now consider something for a moment. Paul, the apostle, says, I got a guy here with me who's working with me, who got really, really, really, really sick, and he almost died. Really? A guy with Paul got sick? Paul the apostle, the one who moved in the miraculous, Paul the apostle, the one the Bible says had sweat bands taken from him, laid on sick people and they got better? How do you get somebody with Paul who's sick? Because Christians get sick. Don't ever think, well, if you're a child of God and you have faith in Jesus, you just get snapped on the forehead, hallelujah, and you're healed.

That's just weird. Epaphroditus got sick and he almost died, Paul said. He admitted it, and it wasn't just Epaphroditus. There was Timothy that Paul writes a letter to and says, hey, I know you have a stomach problem, take some wine for it, which was an antiquity medicine. Take some medicine for your stomach, not come to a healing service. If you have enough faith, you'll be healed.

Just take medicine. So you got Epaphroditus and Timothy both got sick. Not only that, but Trophimus the Ephesian, it says in 2 Timothy chapter 4, Paul says, I left him at Miletus, sick. So not only was he sick, Paul left him sick and walked away. So not only Timothy, not only Epaphroditus, not only Trophimus, but even Paul got sick. Paul talked about a thorn in the flesh, 2 Corinthians 12, an adversity, an infirmity that he had. He said, I prayed three times that the Lord would remove it. Effectively, God said, no, because he said, my grace is all you need. And so he said, I will then glory in my infirmity, I'll glory in my sickness. I won't glory only if I'm healed of it.

But godly people can get sick too. It doesn't mean you lack faith. Now I will say, I do not understand physical healing. I love when it happens.

But if you ask me to give you a formula, I can't. And if you say, well, you ought to say, just have enough faith and you'll be healed. I won't because that's not biblical. I prayed for people and I've watched them get healed before my eyes on some occasions. I prayed for other people and they got worse and died on other occasions.

So this is what I know. God does want our faith and does engender our faith. But healing is according to God's sovereign plan and purpose.

Period. So he was sick. And he affirms that this guy sacrificed almost to the point of death. So verse 30, look at it, for the work of Christ, he came close to death, not regarding his life.

The two words not regarding is a word parabellumini. It's a Greek word that means to throw the dice, to gamble, to bet on, to put all of the chances upon. He's saying Epaphroditus placed his very life in danger, risking it all, putting all of his chances on God, you might say a gambler for God. And he made it all the way from Philippi to Rome, got sick, I'm sending him home, but you got to affirm that he made a sacrifice. And so Paul says, therefore receive him, verse 29, in the Lord with all gladness.

Receive him like Jesus would receive him. And he says, hold such men in esteem, those servants who sacrifice for the gospel, respect them, admire them. First Thessalonians five, Paul said, respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you, hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. We have a little saying around here that we teach our staff about honor. It goes like this, honor up, honor down, honor all around. So we want those above you to be honored, your supervisors, your bosses, the one who cast the vision, the one who hire you, you honor them. You honor spiritual leaders, but you also honor down. You don't say I'm to be honored. You go, no, how can I honor and serve you, those that you give directions to, those who help out in a variety of ways. You honor them.

You affirm them. Honor up, honor down, honor all around. A guest speaker, honor the guest speaker. A guest musician, honor the guest musician. Because it's so easy to overlook those who serve.

Ushers, those who take care of your kids in the Sunday school room, people who smile at the doors and walk you from the parking lot and the VIP treatment. The security, thank them. Don't cop an attitude. No, you can't look at my backpack. None of your business.

Yes, it is. When you bring a backpack into a group of people where you could hide something dangerous in it, may I please see it. Don't cop an attitude. Thank them. Honor them. Affirm their sacrifice. Listen, a pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results.

A few more pats on the back for these volunteers, not kicks in the pants. So learn to be a servant. Learn to bless a servant. And let me just end by saying to you, no matter if you're a lion, or a golden retriever, or an otter, or a hard-working beaver, on behalf of heaven, thank you. Thank you for serving God and serving God's people and being willing to take time and give to them and help us all grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus. Thank you.

That concludes Skip Heitzig's message from the series, Technicolor Joy. Now let's go in the studio with Skip and Lenya as they share what it looks like to honor those around you in a way that honors Jesus. Epaphroditus was an example of a servant of God who sacrificed for the gospel. The apostle Paul recognized his commitment and he honored him in his letters.

I can't even imagine. Cool to be mentioned by Paul. Right? Skip Heitzig's message to be mentioned by Paul.

Right? Skip, there are many people who serve God's kingdom, but they're not always recognized. How can we better honor these servants of the gospel? Well, you know, when you serve, you don't always expect to be recognized.

You don't serve to do it. You serve because you're serving the Lord and you believe your reward's coming from Him. Having said that, though, those of us who see other people serve, I think we owe a debt of gratitude to them. Paul honored people.

I think that we should as well. You know, we believe that honor is a key value. In fact, as part of our little code here at our fellowship, one of our axioms is that we honor up, we honor down, and we honor all around.

The Bible says we're to esteem those who labor in the Lord for their work's sake. So I think you do that by telling them that you appreciate in them. So you just tell them, I noticed you do this.

Thank you. It goes a long way. And then show them. You know, you could not just thank them, but you could bring them a donut, a hamburger, a veggie burger, a gift card, something nice that says, I know you do this. I just wanted to be able to serve you this way.

So tell them, show them. And then if you can, be with them. Spend a few minutes with them and build them up. You know, so you learn to be a servant, then you learn to bless a servant. And it just makes your serving the Lord together all that much better. Stephanie Dinkins I might add one more. Tell other people about them.

Let another man's lips praise you and not your own. And having done Reload Love and traveled so many places, I now get to see where missionaries have invested their lives. And they are pretty nameless.

And they're often far off places, jungles, deserts, or whatever. But to come home and to talk about them and to tell their stories. And so I would encourage you include someone else's stories. You know, it doesn't always have to be a conversation about me.

It could be a conversation about somebody else and what God has done through them. Thank you, Skip and Lenya. We hope this conversation with Skip and Lenya challenged you to keep pursuing God and His truth. Now we want to share about a way you can help encourage others by keeping teachings like today's broadcast going strong. Just call 800-922-1888.

That's 800-922-1888. Or visit connectwithskip.com slash donate. That's connectwithskip.com slash donate.

Thank you. Tune in tomorrow as Skip explains how to guard your joy when circumstances threaten to deflate it. You don't want to miss that. Make a connection. Make a connection at the foot of the crossing. Cast all burdens on His word. Make a connection. A connection. Connect with Skip Hyton is a presentation of Connection Communications, connecting you to God's never-changing truth in ever-changing times.