Season of Recovery

Speaking of hangry, we got something going on at the Truth Network that's going to help the world not be so hangry. Yeah, he's talking about just needing God's Word. He said, please help the Truth Network send Bibles to Africa.

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Just think about that, Robby. Just $5. So please give. If you can give more than $5, man, we'd love for you to do it. And the number to call is 1-800-YES-WORD. 1-800-YES-WORD. The 1-800-YES-WORD. Nakita Kolov, the Russian nightmare.

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So how do we keep from losing heart while trying to find the good way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for? Grab your gear and come on a quest with your band of brothers who will serve as the guides in what we call the masculine journey. The masculine journey starts here now. Welcome to masculine journey. I'm glad that you're with us this week.

And Robby, I just had a quick question. How many Eves until boot camp? Twenty-six. But actually, boot camp is seven Eves.

It begins seven Eves before Thanksgiving. Whoa. Good. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. It is seven days before. That's the week before.

Yeah, it is very good. Yeah. And so, you know, we keep talking about it's November 18th through 21st.

But the easier way, as I think Rodney pointed out last week, to probably say it is it's the weekend before Thanksgiving. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so how exciting.

It is. And so the question I have for the team that's with us today is, why is it important for somebody to really consider coming to this boot camp, especially with it being the weekend before Thanksgiving? Ushers in, from my perspective, it ushers in the whole holiday season. And it's a special time always for me, you know, the whole idea of Jesus coming to earth.

And I think that anybody's never been to boot camp as they begin to experience boot camp. They will see Jesus's arrival at Christmas as, you know, getting a foothold and a beachhead, you know, similar to, you know, what happened on D-Day. And it's a whole new experience, Christmas is, when you're looking at it from that perspective of the larger story. And so I think that you will have an amazing Christmas season as a result on a lot of levels, not to mention, you know, prepare you to deal a little bit better with the relatives. Yeah.

Yeah. So if everybody replays back, let's say the last few Thanksgivings and Christmases, probably play them back in your mind. Does everybody get along and just sing Christmas carols together and just, oh, it's so rosy, so isn't it wonderful to be together? Or do you have a Cousin Eddie in your family or something where it's like, yep, we got issues and problems and nobody wants to talk about them or bring them up? Well, the boot camp is a place to go bring it up before you ever get to the family gathering and you get it out.

You get it in front of God and let him help you deal with some things so that you, at least as an individual, can enter in to that relationship or relationships in a much better state. Yeah. And if you don't have a Cousin Eddie in your family, you're probably it. Just saying, you might want to look in the mirror, see if you're wearing a Dickie. You don't know the whole Christmas thing. You don't know who it is because it's you. Exactly.

It may not be, but it could be. Harold, do you have something? Well, I think one of the important things is by gathering with other guys, you can find out what you really need to be thankful for, because you're always going to run into somebody that's experiencing things that you're glad you're not. Agreed. Andy, you just. Yeah, so I'll give you a little less spiritual answer. So we play airsoft at boot camp, so it'll give you an opportunity to learn how to shoot people with airsoft guns before you meet your family. Yeah.

Yeah. Now, seriously, though, really, that's kind of like what Harold was saying, though, is, you know, I think it gives you a deeper insight into yourself and what's going on in your life and maybe some of the warfare that you have with where the enemy tries to bring up things between your family. And it really gives you an opportunity to go in on maybe spiritual high or spiritual preparation for that, to where you can be a blessing to your family and come from a point of strength instead of a point of weakness and really just kind of being, you know, lured into things that you probably shouldn't be, arguments or whatever.

Good point. And on that weekend, you can experience several covenant of silences, which is very rare during the holiday season around my family. Yeah, I think for me, it's kind of the same stuff you guys have been saying, but mainly I want to be able to get my heart in the right spot before the holiday season, before I go into that time. You know, it can be a very good time. It can be very trying time, depending on what your family dynamic is and depending on who shows up, you know, and who you're planning on showing up and who actually shows up and some of those things play in. And so getting that all kind of your heart in the right place. So you're prepared regardless of what the next week brings and and how much better would it be to take a couple days off or a day off at the end of the week, come back to a really short week, right?

You come back and you at least only have, you know, probably for most people, three days they have to work and for some people, three days they get a day off and then another day. Yeah. Like you're saying, which one of you show up, right? Yeah.

And which one of him or her show up? Yeah. Yeah. You just, it helps to go back through that and just have that time to think about, okay, these are the things that happened in the past. I prepare myself, prepare my heart so that I can have forgiveness in my heart before I even walk in because a lot of times there's things that unfortunately happened during that season that you don't want to have happen, but they just always seem to.

Exactly. So if you do want to register, go to masculinejourney.org. You can register now. The registration page is up. We'd love to have you register early and go and make your plans now.

You know, everybody else is going to try to vacation around Thanksgiving. So go ahead and get your request in. Get it in now. You can avoid that. Oh, I didn't do it soon enough, right?

It's soon enough now you can go do that. So on to today's topic. Robby, this is a topic that kind of came up through discussion last week and you were kind of leading that discussion.

So that's a nice way of saying it's your topic. Yeah, we actually copied Wild at Heart last week. They did, you know, talking about recovering your heart as you're going into the summer season, but it really dovetailed so beautifully from my perspective from the vulnerability thing. We've been doing for the last couple weeks on, you know, getting real. And then here we come into as Wild at Heart put it, you know, everybody has been in a season of trauma for over a year. And as things are beginning to lift, you know, we're seeing things in the culture that really blow my mind. People think that money is going to deal with this pandemic, you know, trauma that they've been dealing with. So they're buying houses and cars and boats and RVs.

They're going to Hawaii. They're setting up all these expectations in order to recover from this trauma when it is really a beautiful season to be able to do that. And so we want to enter into that in the show. Yeah, and so we're going to talk about this season of recovery that we're in. Not everything's fixed in the world.

Obviously, there's a lot that's not fixed, but at least the COVID part is lifting in most places, at least where we live and the places around us. And so to see people's faces again, you know, I don't know how long it had been since I'd seen somebody's face. I didn't already know what they look like. Right, with the waitress where we normally eat dinner, we saw her. I'm like, oh my gosh, she's beautiful. We've never seen her.

We've never seen her and we eat there every week. Want to get to a clip? We've got about five minutes in this segment. So Andy, what if they want to go to Wally World?

You want to tell us a little bit about the clip? So yeah, this is a vacation from the 80s. I think it is and Clark's taking the family via doing some family chores of delivering the ant across the country and they ran into some problems. But basically he really wants to get the family to Wally World. Like that's the, it's the Disney World.

It's, you know, everything is right there, you know, happiest place on earth, all that stuff. And they've been through some tough times and the family's discussing what they should do now. The family starts bailing and then Clark goes on this tirade. Here we go. Well, I think Normie will understand when he sees a note we pin on Edna's sleeve. Sure, Clark.

He left his dead mother tied to a lawn chair in his backyard. I'm sure he won't mind. Look, it's all over and done with. We'll find a place to stay for the night and we'll start fresh in the morning.

It's fine. I don't want to be in the car anymore. I want to go home.

I don't want to go to Wally World. Clark, under the circumstances, I wouldn't mind if we just went home. In retrospect, it seems like a pretty bad idea driving out. It's been one disaster after another. Yeah, it's been a real drag, Dad. Maybe we can try it some other time.

Wally World's overrated anyway. What do you think? We're 10 hours from the fun park and you want to bail out. Well, I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. I'm going to have fun and you're going to have fun. We're all going to have fun.

We'll need plastic surgery to remove our smiles. I got to be crazy. I'm going to pilgrimage to see a moose.

Praise Marty Moose. Dad, do you want to ask for something? So, Andy, that place is so much fun. They had to say fun twice. Yeah. Yeah.

We're almost here. The fun fun. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of fun going on, though. I mean, and this is a guy that really wanted this for his family.

He kind of set that vision and they just weren't buying it. And I just think back to sometimes where, you know, vacations in American culture. I was talking to somebody the other day. Europeans or whatever, they get like six, eight weeks. I mean, they just, I dealt with them.

I worked with a multinational company and they would just disappear. And, you know, I feel like sometimes we as American people, we just work so hard. Well, you live from that to that vacation. That's a big deal in the summer to bring relief. But I think it's, there's some expectations that we try to get out of vacations that aren't real. There's some, I mean, to experience a venture, when you're an adult job or a job that really is demanding, you know, there's good things in that.

There's good, you know, the ability to rest, spend time with your family. But I was, I was Clark. I mean, I was, I had a checklist of stuff that we were going to do and it brought a lot more strife. And when you got back home from vacation, you were so worn out, you didn't realize that you had gone on vacation.

You were more tired than you were if you would have stayed at home. And I think that's what I picked up from the Wild at Heart podcast is really just, before you just jump into something this year, think about what you're doing before you do it. Ask Jesus. John's big on that and we all should be.

You know, vacations are essential for our family. So we should really ask Jesus what we're to do to get our hearts back. Yeah, I think that part of that, when he talks about it being a quest, okay, maybe you're not planning a vacation for the summer, but what are you questing after right now? You know, is it something new? Is it a project around the house? Is it something like that? And are you talking to God and saying, God, is this good for my heart?

Is this what my heart really needs right now in this season? And maybe it is a vacation, but it may be to someplace different. Or maybe it is a project, but it's something at someone else's house or whatever it may be. But, you know, walking with him through it, because we can find ourself very quickly running down the wrong road very quickly. Yep. And then just not being happy with the destination we arrive at.

So just a little bit on there and I'll give up the mic. But my daughter is going on a mission trip to Salt Lake City this year. And last couple of years, I'd been out to Utah. Beautiful place.

So much life that you can experience in the beauty there. And when I was out there, I was like, man, I wish I had, you know, my family with me. And, you know, part of me just wanted to jump in and say, and I'm probably still leaning to go, but I just wanted to assume, hey, I'm just going to schedule things up and she'll stay over some time and we'll get a good time together. But I drew back from that after hearing this of saying, you know, before I just run into something, I need to ask Jesus what I'm supposed to do here. Thank you, Andy. When we come back, we're going to talk about our plan for the season for recovery individually.

So Rodney, be thinking what you're going to say. And then we're going to go to masculinejourney.org to register for the boot camp coming up November 18th through 21st, right before Thanksgiving. What if one weekend wasn't up to you that you could go and God would orchestrate it all? Masculine Journey Boot Camp, basic training designed to give men permission to be how God made them, passionate warriors for the kingdom. Based on John Eldridge's Wild at Heart, experience four days purpose for God to come after and perhaps reawaken dreams and desires he uniquely placed in your masculine heart. Fall Boot Camp coming up November 18th through the 21st. Go to masculinejourney.org and register today.

Cornersville, North Carolina, 27285. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. But the stars we could reach were just a fish on the beach. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun. But the wine and the song like the seasons have all come. All our lives we had fun, we had fun. That was fun.

The whole season. Yeah, the fascinating thing about that story, that song if you're familiar with it, is written by Terry Jax and it was actually about somebody dying, right? This is the end of their life. And it was taken from an old man that was dying of a broken heart. His wife had cheated on him with his best friend. And this was him saying goodbye to these two people that he loved, telling him he still loved him in spite of the fact that they were killing him. And then Terry Jax had changed the song from a Belgium song to an American song with his friend that died of leukemia. So once again, I think a lot to do with what we're talking about today.

We are swimming around in the river of denial. And when you listen to that song, they're dying, but they're talking about the season. And so as we go into this season, you know, are we going to deny that again, you have your own situation, but you've got your wife, you've got your kids, grandkids, whatever you got that's in your family that are currently still dealing with trauma with some deep loss and some deep stuff.

And what are we going to do in the season, Sam? Because I remember when I was a kid, the only time I ever got to see my father that he wasn't in work mode, you know, was he got a month's vacation from Buick. And so for that month we got a dad, but the rest of the time he was always in work mode and sped up.

But for that period of time in that season, you know, I felt like that's when I got to experience him for real. Yeah, I think that there was so much taken away from us as individuals during COVID and collectively that, you know, the challenge is not rushing out and trying to do everything. Right. I miss this. I miss that. I miss this.

I miss that. And honestly from last week's show, or when we talked after the show, it made me rethink of what I was doing. I was doing exactly that. I was filling almost every available moment with some type of activity, right? If it wasn't going somewhere, it was doing something, you know, and the more I thought through it and had a couple setbacks last week with some things, the more I just kept thinking about do I really need to do this particular thing?

Is it going to be good for my heart to do that or am I going to be stressing over finances or I might be stressing over, you know, all the stuff I have to do when I get back at work or all these types of things, right? And the answer I came to was I think it's really better for me not to do it this season. Not that it was a bad thing that I wanted to go do.

I wanted to go see some family back in Indiana. But for whatever reason, I really don't feel like that's what I'm supposed to do this season. And so I'm not going to, you know, and I'm at peace with that because I feel like I process that through with God. And I think Andy bringing up the fact that your daughter wants to go on a mission because where my mind went right before you said that was we need to probably take the eye off ourselves a lot of times. I think the best way sometimes to soothe yourself or make yourself feel better is to take a focus off yourself and go help somebody else that's in bigger need than you are. If you can put your focus on your family members or somebody else and go help them and work with them and help them through something and do that, that's a great place to go.

There's a lot of people less fortunate than us that hey, let's go help them or do something get involved in somebody else's life that needs some help because you know through this season there's been a lot of that needed. Hey Rob, thank you Rodney, I want to ask you about the clip, you know that sometimes what family really just needs is authenticity, right? Yeah.

Yeah, and this clip has got all kinds of that. It's from the movie Ordinary People, which is kind of a disturbing movie actually from the 70s. Mary Tyler Moore after she'd always played these wonderful roles plays this really hurting mother and pretty hard to watch if you've ever watched the movie. But what's happened is their two sons had gone out on a sailing adventure and the weather had gone bad and only one of them lived but unfortunately the one that lived was not Mary Tyler Moore's favorite.

His name was Buck and you'll hear him referred to in the clip. The other son because he feels so guilty because he was the one that lived ends up suicidal and ends up in the hospital a lot of things but the relationship between the two the mother and the son has been totally poser City, right treating each other with kid gloves acting like, you know, everything's fine. I'm fine.

You're fine until finally here near the end of the movie the gloves finally come off and you'll hear this interchange between the two. But what I don't want your miss as you listen about the time the two finally start getting real with each other because nobody likes to go into the pain and nobody likes the conflict. The father is trying to shut it down with that's enough. That's enough. We don't need any more of this. Well, I think you would agree that in this covid season as you listen to this.

No, it's not enough. We need to get this stuff out where you know, Jesus can see it and we can talk about it. Dad, I quit the swim team what Carol thought I knew of course, why wouldn't I have happened over a month ago when where have you been every night where around the library? Mostly why didn't you tell us Connie? I don't know. I didn't think it mattered. What do you mean? Why wouldn't it matter? Of course, it matters. I know that was meant for me Calvin.

What was meant for you? It's really important to try to hurt me, isn't it? Don't you have that backwards? Oh and how do I hurt you by embarrassing you in front of a friend? Poor Beth. She has no idea what her son is up to. He lies and she believes every word of it. I didn't lie.

You did you lied every time you came into this house at 6 30 if it's starting all over again, the lying the covering up the disappearing for hours. I will not stand for it. I can't stand it.

I really can't go to Europe Connie. No, the only reason she cares. The only reason she gives about it is because someone else knew about it first. Just stop it. No, you tell her to stop it. You never tell her a thing and I know why she never came to the hospital. She's busy going to Spain and Portugal.

Why should she care if I'm hung up out there? Maybe this is how they sit around and talk at the hospital, but we're not at the hospital. You never came to the hospital hospital. Now, you know that she did she had the flu and she couldn't come inside, but she came to the hospital. She wouldn't have any flu if Buck was in the hospital. She would have come if Buck was in the hospital.

Buck never would have been in the hospital. That's enough. That is enough. So, you know, the more I listen to that as I was putting it together, the more it hit me that it just wasn't enough. And actually, it reminded me of our vacation last year, where a couple of my daughters got into it.

And the next thing I know, one of them pulled out that same finger that Adam Sandler had and was pointing at me. Daddy, you did this. Daddy, you did that. And thank goodness for some counselor similar to this from podcasts that I'd listened to from Wild at Heart to realize, oh, my goodness, what she's wanting. I mean, she's understanding something different than what I feel. She needs me. And by the fact that she's screaming at me right this now and pointing her finger, what she really needs me to do is listen and validate. Oh, you feel this way.

And obviously, quite strongly, you feel this way. And we need to talk about this so that you know, Daddy is listening. Daddy hears what you're saying. Daddy cares about how you feel. Daddy wants God to come into this and help heal us because clearly, you know, there's stuff that we have been swimming around in denial. We just, you know, that river is just all encompassing. And I really feel like COVID has so much got us. And so what an opportunity, actually, Sam, as I was thinking about my season this year, wherever I go, I really want it to make it my, not my recovery.

What can I do to listen and see if I can find that place where I see somebody else hurting and help, you know, essentially get it out in the open? Yeah, and obviously the best, the ripest fields are with the family, right? Low hanging fruit, low hanging fruit, but also buy some stinky patches.

And we wear the briar bushes on the side. Yeah, but it's, that'd be a good thing. Andy, any thoughts on what your season of recovery, what you want to accomplish? I know you talked about the trip out there potentially, but if I ask you what, and I know I'm just throwing this question at you, and you may not be able to answer right now, but from what's been stolen from you over the last period of time, 18 months, whatever it's been, seems longer, year, a little over a year. What does your heart need the most?

I don't know. I think God prepared me in some ways before what we went through, and I feel like for a long time that I was, because it didn't really necessarily, I mean, COVID took me by shock, but everything else after that didn't really surprise me that much. But I mean, it would, it grow, it took time to get through. My heart grew weary, I think, at the end. And I, you know, I will say that there were, you know, anything from where I'm at in the weather, and then what we were going through, I can tell you right now, when the mass came off and the sun came out, those were things that were beginning to just, you know, change my spirit. But from a spiritual standpoint, there are things that I'm aggravated myself, that I could have taken advantage of more of so during that COVID season. And I think it's just kind of focusing in on those things. And a lot of them get back to what they said on the Wild at Heart team, of finding those simple things that bring you life. And that's different for every person. And some of it I kind of know. I mean, more time. I don't, I spend not enough time just getting out in nature and, you know, enjoying creation as much as I could.

I live there, in the mountains to experience it. And, you know, but it will be looking for more of an opportunity to what you were saying, Robby, of how I can help others, how I can listen better, how I can help other people get through this time as well. But I think it all gets back to just, you know, the answer is Jesus, you know, Jesus, Jesus. But really, it does get back to him because he knows that what's going on in this world during this time is not taking him by surprise. And he knows how to address our heart and our needs and really what, what it's going to take to come out of this.

You know, I think if we did all through this time, if we don't come out of it as a more wise, his body being wiser, more, more hungry for him, but also more understanding of how to help, you know, people who don't know him and, and, and even those who we do know are in, in, in fellowship and relationship with and helping through those things. We've missed an opportunity. Yeah. And I want to make sure that we're clear on what we're not saying.

There's nothing wrong with taking a vacation, right? Right. I think what you need to do, my opinion, that's all it is. And what I need to do is taking my own advice is constantly say, God, what do I need to do that's good for my heart right now? Is it seeking out somebody like you're talking about? Is it spending time in the word? Is it time in prayer?

What does that look like? Is it a vacation just to clear my mind and say, okay, wow, life can be normal again, right? He knows the answer of what your heart needs. And that's the thing is if you chase down the wrong roads, you're just going to end up deeper in debt, more than likely and not any happier.

And what's the point in that when you can walk with him and find a place of solace in a place of rest in place of peace. We'll talk to you next week. Go to masculinejourneyradio.org to register for the boot camp. This is the Truth Network.