Get Rid Of Your Anger, Part 2

Today on Fellowship in the Word, Pastor Bill Gebhardt challenges you to become a fully functioning follower of Jesus Christ. By the way, how has he forgiven you? Completely. How often does he forgive you? Daily, hourly, by the minute, by the second. How long does he forgive you?

As long as you're breathing. You see, that's the forgiveness, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. That's how you get rid of anger, forgiveness. Thank you for joining us today on this edition of Fellowship in the Word with Pastor Bill Gebhardt. Fellowship in the Word is the radio ministry of Fellowship Bible Church located in Metairie, Louisiana. Let's join Pastor Bill Gebhardt now as once again he shows us how God's Word meets our world. When the Word of God confronts you with something that's very important and you allow it to change your life, you're a wise man. But whenever the Word of God addresses you or confronts one of your behaviors and you ignore it, you're a fool.

You're a scoffer. And so when we look at this passage of letting all the bitterness, wrath, anger and clamor and slander be put away from us and along with all malice. He said, this is the way you do it. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. The first thing he says is to be kind, but I think that's a little bit misleading. Christus is the Greek word and it means to be good and useful. It can be translated kind, but it means to be good and useful.

So notice that the first thing he says is be good and useful to one another. And then he says tender hearted. You splang nos.

One of the only times it's used in the entire New Testament. You splang nos. It means to be sympathetic. Empathetic.

That's what it means. He says tender hearted here. If you put those two together, look, be good and useful to one another. Be sympathetic and empathetic to one another. And these are just set up verses. These are the actions that you need to have to set up what really is the solution.

And the solution comes with the next phrase. Forgiving each other. How do I put away anger?

How do I do that? He says by forgiving each other. And again, he's very careful with his word choice. Aphomy is the word that's almost always used for forgiveness or forgiving. And it means to send it away.

The idea of forgiving something, I forgive your debt, I just send it away. But that's not the word he uses here. He uses the word charisma.

And if you see the word charisma, you see in the beginning of it, the word caress. The word caress is usually translated in the New Testament grace. It means gift.

Here's what he is saying. He is saying when we forgive one another, he means to give the gift freely. To give an undeserved gift. That's what he means when he says to forgive one another. Give the person an undeserved gift.

And that gift, of course, is forgiveness. Is that what you want to do when you're angry? That seem fair to you? You see, there's something going on here.

Well, he gets much clearer the next two words. Just as. Just as. God in Christ has forgiven you. Just as. Just like you have been forgiven.

Wow. Now you see it as a gift, don't you? Is the forgiveness of God a gift in your life or is it something you thought you earned? You see, that's the whole point of grace. Just the way you've been forgiven.

Just as. That's the way you forgive people. That's how you get rid of anger in your life. You forgive. Andy Stanley really gets to the heart of it when he writes this. He said, in the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feels like a decision to reward my enemy.

I love that. In the shadow of my hurt, forgiveness feels like a decision to reward my enemy. But in the shadow of the cross, forgiveness is merely a gift from one undeserving soul to another. You see, you have to see it that way. That's how you get rid of your anger.

You get rid of your anger because you see it. Just as. Just as I have been forgiven totally, repeatedly. Well, maybe there's a loophole. There's not.

Well, maybe there's a limit. Turn with me to Matthew Chapter 18. Matthew Chapter 18. Verse 21. Very familiar verse. We've been there not that long ago. In verse 21, Matthew writes, Then Peter came and said to the Lord, How often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him?

You see, their world was like our world. It's one thing to forgive someone who has never done anything against you at all and then inadvertently does something. And inevitably, what your response is, I forgive you. But what about somebody who's a stone in your shoe?

The burr under your saddle. What about the person that seems like every single day there's a reason to forgive him? In other words, what about your spouse? You see, what about somebody that's right there?

What about that? So Peter says, How often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? And then he gets very self-righteous and he says up to seven times.

Peter understood that the rabbinic tradition of the day was three. You see, we often say maybe two, right? First time something, you do something like that to me. Shame what? On you. The second time, and I forgive you, shame on me. We're not even close. Peter says seven times and he feels that the Lord is going to be very impressed.

He's not. Jesus said to him, I do not say to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven. Now Jesus means that, for you literalists, Jesus is using hyperbole and he means always. He means perfection. Some of you probably got a little notepad with the number 490 written on it. And every time you forgive someone, 486, 471, 295.

We're working it down. That's not what he means. He means always. Now he understands that when it comes to anger and the need for forgiveness, that's emotional. And so he wants to illustrate just how important that is not only to him, but how vulnerable we are not to follow through on this. And so he teaches a parable. He said, for this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who wished to settle accounts with the slaves. And when he had begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him. Again, pure hyperbole. Some would say that's 10 billion dollars.

I just read this last week. One commentator said it would mean what you would earn in 200 lifetimes. So the number is just put out there theoretically by Jesus. He said, and when he began to settle them, the one who owed him the 10,000 talents was brought before him. But since he did not have the means to repay, his Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had and repayment to be made. Now, there's justice. Now, what Jesus is inferring by this is, guys, you don't want justice. You clearly don't want justice.

That'll sell you, your wife, your kids, and you still won't be close. So the slave fell on the ground and prostrated himself before him, and he's saying to him, have patience with me and I will repay you everything. Of course, the owner, the king knows you can't possibly pay me. See, God knows you can't pay for your sins.

You can't possibly pay for it. It says, and the Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him. And don't miss this, the debt. Jesus wants to liken forgiveness as debt. In other words, somebody owes you a something.

We'll call it the debt. And to forgive the debt is to forgive the person. Now watch, he says, but that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 denarii. And he seized him and he began to choke him, saying, pay back what you owe. So his fellow slave fell on the ground and began to plead with him, saying, have patience with me and I will repay you.

Well, it's not that much. He probably could. But he was, and don't miss it, unwilling. By the way, don't miss this. If you won't get rid of your anger by forgiving people, it's only because of one reason. You are unwilling. Don't you say I just can't help it. You know, my whole family is an angry group. My grandpa was really angry. I inherited the anger gene and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm just an angry person. Don't do that. There's only one reason you don't forgive people and get rid of your anger. You are unwilling.

That's what he says. He said he went and he threw him in prison until he should pay back what was owed. And so when the fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to the Lord what had happened. And summoning him, the Lord said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not also have mercy on your fellow slave in the same way as I had mercy on you?

Another way to translate it, just as in the same way, just as. You see, God is not happy when his children are unforgiving. He's angry.

You see it? Notice and his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the torches until he should repay all that was owed. He said, my Heavenly Father will also do the same to you if you do not forgive his brother from your heart. By the way, that takes away something, doesn't it?

That takes away this. I forgive you. Jesus said I had to forgive you.

I forgive you. It's from your heart. You see, he's talking about the cross and understand this. The cross is not just the canceling of debt. But the absorption of injustice. When you forgive someone, you not only cancel the debt, you absorb the injustice.

You see, you could say, well, I was forgiven at the cross. That's right. Did somebody pay for that?

Is there pain involved? Yes. Somebody has to absorb the injustice whenever you forgive somebody. Guess who gets to absorb the injustice?

You do. See, that's why we don't like it. We don't like to absorb the injustice. We don't want to forgive. We want them to absorb the injustice. See, we want retribution.

We want this. He says, no, just as I did, you need to do it. And I see this in four phases, by the way.

Forgiveness is the canceling of the debt that's owed to you. Phase one. The first thing you should do, identify who you're angry with. You say, well, look, we're dense, but we're not that dense. I know who I'm angry with. Really?

You may not. How many times does someone go to work and get angry all day? But because of the insecurity of their job situation, whoever their boss is or whatever, they just stuff it. And then they go home and they take it out on the people who are there. Who are they really angry at? Are they really angry at their kids or their neighbor or their wife or their husband? No, they're really angry at their boss.

So that's what I'm saying. The first phase is identify who you're angry with. By the way, it might be you.

You might be angry at yourself. Number two. Determine what they owe. See, what does that person owe?

What did they do to you? Now, obviously, off the top, we always say, well, I know what they owe me, an apology. OK, I'm all fine with that. Take that. You can write that down for everybody. They owe me an apology. All right. So write that down second. Apology owed.

Number three. Cancel the debt. That's what Jesus said. Cancel the debt.

Number four, dismiss the case. That's forgiveness. I was hoping for something more. You know, I was hoping that somehow they were going to have to do something.

And they may or may not. That has really nothing to do with your forgiveness. By the way, how has he forgiven you? Completely. So how often does he forgive you? Daily, hourly, by the minute, by the second. How long does he forgive you?

As long as you're breathing. You see, that's the forgiveness, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. That's how you get rid of anger. Forgiveness.

That's what are you saying. But in your heart, you know what you're feeling. I want to hold on to this. I just want to hold on to this. I want some kind of retribution.

I want them to pay in some way. Well, the last passage I want to look at is in Romans Chapter 12, Romans Chapter 12, right at the end of the chapter. These last four verses, 17 through 21 of Romans Chapter 12. Verse 17.

Notice the first word is, again, a non compromising word. Never. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.

Never. Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men, if it's possible, so far as it depends on you. He knows that's not always the case.

Be at peace with all men. It's up to you. Then he says, never take your own revenge.

Never. He says, never take your own revenge, beloved. But leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, vengeance is mine.

I will repay, says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he's thirsty, give him a drink.

And then a phrase we like a lot on the surface. For in doing so, you will heat burning coals on his head. All right.

Now we're talking. All I have to do is forgive him and then God will get him. That's not at all what it means. I'm not saying God wouldn't.

I'm just saying that's not what this text means. See, he says, do not become overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. See, he understands when we get angry and vengeful, we become evil. He says, don't let that happen to you. The reason God wants us to get rid of our anger is not so much only what it will do to others.

It's what it does to us. But that phrase, for in doing so, you will heat burning coals on his head. Paul understands an old Egyptian custom that would have been commonplace in his world. And that is, starting in Egypt, if somebody did something that they were ashamed of, really ashamed of, they would let everybody know of their shame. And they would do so, they would place a small pan of warm, hot coals, sort of smoldering, first they put the turbot on, then they put the pan on their head.

And they would walk out in public. When you saw someone out in public with, in a sense, coals on their head, they were admitting their own shame for something they had done. And Paul says, that's what happens when you act the way you aren't vengeful.

You will put those coals. In other words, they'll eventually feel the shame. But that comes from God. You see, if I could paraphrase it, I think what he is saying is, always put the retribution and vengeance in God's hands.

Just let God be God. Some people might apologize immediately. Some people may apologize later. Some people may not apologize all the way to the grave.

It's okay. Let God be God in this situation. You stay out of it. Because if you get involved, what's going to happen to you, what's going to happen to you, is you're going to allow evil into your own life.

That's what he is saying. So, get rid of your anger by forgiving people just as Christ has forgiven you. Identify who you're angry with. Determine what they owe you. Cancel their debt.

Dismiss the case. And, by the way, absorb the injustice. I want to close with a story written by David Jeremiah that illustrates how this can be done in an everyday way. Not in a big way, but in an everyday way that makes the point.

David Jeremiah writes this. It was a busy day. I had to eat lunch on the run. And so I drove to the drive-through window of the local fast food restaurant. I supposed that I had my order on my mind, and I didn't see a woman who was approaching the line of cars from another direction. Apparently, I cut her off of her intended route.

It was completely unintentional, but she didn't see it that way. She was furious. The woman rolled down her window and gave me a piece of her mind. More than a piece, she served me a second helping. She shouted some obscenities.

I hadn't heard those words in a long time. She used hand gestures. She honked her horn.

It was a multimedia presentation. To say the least, one of the most detailed dispersals of anger I had ever seen. And by the time her volcano was out of molten lava, there she was behind me in line, and we were both waiting for lunch. I must admit, I reached over and locked my doors. But then I had an idea. As I was getting my food, I asked for the total bill of the woman behind me, and the waitress asked, Is she one of your relatives?

Certainly not, I said. The thought sent a cold chill down my spine. But still, I would like to pay for her dinner. Well, that's very nice, the drive-thru waitress said.

And so I paid for both of us. I confessed that I couldn't help but wait around and adjust my rear-view mirror, because I wanted to see the woman's response. She was in total shock. He says, She was in total shock when I saw her again. It was as if she had seen the supernatural. Maybe she had. He said, She had just attacked some stranger with all her claws, and he had bought her lunch.

It was a full-scale reversal. He said, I don't know how she feels about it today, whether it's hot coals or hot lava, but I feel good about the incident. I feel that I proved the truth of God's biblical prescription. He says, We show that we don't have that molten stuff inside of us. We should show that we're out of worldly wrath, but we have plenty of loving kindness, plenty of tenderness and forgiveness in stock. He says, We go heavy on the grace and the benefit of the doubt.

We find some way, some action to encourage the aggressor. And in the process of doing all this, I can guarantee you that there's no anger in your soul that can whip up, that your soul can whip up, that won't be dissolved by the power of God's grace and forgiveness in your life. Get rid of your anger by forgiving, just as God has forgiven you in Christ.

Let's pray. Father, this is a universal need that we have. We may show our anger in a variety of ways, but we experience it. So many of us have unmet needs, and so many of us have unrealized expectations of people and situations.

So many of us, Father, have such insecurity and low self-esteem that we feel threatened. And so we manifest our anger. And no matter how we do it, it's still a problem for us, because what you're telling us is that there's one way for us to deal with it.

We have to put it off. We have to separate ourselves from it. We have to get rid of our anger. And we can do so through the power of your word and your spirit. We can do so by forgiving each other. Father, every day we thank you for your forgiveness for us.

Maybe it's time that we forgive those who sin against us, as you have forgiven us. In Jesus' name, amen. In Jesus' name, amen. In Jesus' name, amen. In Jesus' name, amen.