Share This Episode
MoneyWise Rob West and Steve Moore Logo

Husbands and Wives: Different on Purpose

MoneyWise / Rob West and Steve Moore
The Truth Network Radio
February 17, 2021 7:03 am

Husbands and Wives: Different on Purpose

MoneyWise / Rob West and Steve Moore

On-Demand Podcasts NEW!

This broadcaster has 265 podcast archives available on-demand.

Broadcaster's Links

Keep up-to-date with this broadcaster on social media and their website.


February 17, 2021 7:03 am

In Genesis 2, we see how God creates Eve from Adam’s rib. So, man and woman are made of the same flesh, but still with important differences. On the next MoneyWise Live, hosts Rob West and Steve Moore welcome Compass founder Howard Dayton to discuss how those differences affect the way spouses view money. Then Rob and Steve take calls from across the country and answer various financial questions. Husbands and wives are different on purpose on the next MoneyWise Live at 4pm Eastern/3pm Central on Moody Radio. 

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
MoneyWise
Rob West and Steve Moore
MoneyWise
Rob West and Steve Moore
Family Life Today
Dave & Ann Wilson, Bob Lepine
MoneyWise
Rob West and Steve Moore
MoneyWise
Rob West and Steve Moore
MoneyWise
Rob West and Steve Moore

In 1901.

A woman by the name of any Taylor climbed into a barrel that she could write more now because the words I had to revolt Muslim is one of his ribs freezing a virtual woman who struggles returns to the manager was hoping for for financial creators, even generalized tonight is a man of anyone when you were saying that flourishing regional Angela without having to shift towards compass found half of the sea of troubles and differences of ways as close as your own decisions regarding flowing orders, but more expensive you monthly and lifelong money refund or help with a cash out refinance cashing out some friend of several books about God's principles and to find out why the hell is Russian good for practice outdoor MLS number 1330. Equal housing lender not licensed in Alaska, Hawaii, Georgia, Massachusetts, North Dakota, South Dakota and Utah. The Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man and he took one of his ribs and the rib made into a woman and brought her to the man God creates in Genesis 2 man the same flesh, but still with very important differences. Host Rob West welcomes compass founder Howard date to discuss how those differences affect the way spouses view money. Please hold your calls today because we are recorded, but I'm still more happy for him when he was about God's financial principles and today were diving into one of our favorites money and marriage God's way to find out why and how spouses often differ over money and finances. Well, this is a topic that just about every couple can relate to. I'm sure our great to have you back with us today.

Your joining us from your home in South Carolina. Thanks for being here.

Wonderful to be with you to clear something up red. The gate here or spouses viewing money differently isn't a bad thing is the late Larry Burkett used to say if the husband and wife are both the same one would be unnecessary. That's usually spouses need to work on the different students to avoid conflict.

For example, one spouse might be a saver. The other spender, but that's not a problem unless they can agree on a budget and stick to it. You know your spouse was given to you by the Lord to complete you not to frustrate you of these differences can be caused by our gender, background, personality, even our relationship with the Lord.

The failure of couples to understand just how these differences affect their finances can really hurt in the in the marriage relationship, but there really good news when the husband and when the wife recognize the differences, they can really rely upon the other strengths to compensate for their own weaknesses. That's really good and so important for every couple to understand Howard. Let's look at some of these real-life reasons why spouses might differ in their attitudes about money. You mentioned gender that might be a good place to start. How does that affect our view on money. That's a really good place to begin.

Let's not kid ourselves, Rob, a man might never understand his wife enjoyment of anti-shift for women may not understand why he's back on his recliner watching another sports on the game on the big TV husband and wife are hardwired differently, but that's a good thing. Although there are exceptions to the rule, men and women typically differ financially into basic ways. First of all, that the women tend to be more security oriented gas tend to move more comfortably taken risks piling on debt and the second basic difference is that most husbands feel the burden and I say that with all understanding the burden for providing for the family and they really take first Timothy 58 the heart, which says that if one does not provide for his relatives and especially for members of his household is denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. So one of the primary ways really that husbands express their love to their wives and children is by fulfilling this responsibility and that's one reason that men often work long hours had a frumpy work for the same company for 20 years lost his job when the corporation downsized during a huge recession and it was frankly just really difficult for him to get adjusted moneywise. Live your host yesterday only jobbers expense in his life just cannot understand why he couldn't find a job and she began to complain white. Can't she get a job you going to a dozen interviews. Still no job. What's wrong with you in her comments really wounded him to the core because the husband's inability to provide for his family often produces feelings of guilt, shame that even inadequacy and window wife complains or expresses doubt about her husband's abilities is likely to interpreted as personal rejection and so wives really need to be sensitive. Rob not to disrespect their husbands when husbands are working hard to provide. There is so much we can learn each of us as husband says wives and how we can come together pursuing God's heart, which is oneness in this area just around the corner will continue to unpack other aspects that affect our relationship. This is moneywise live, your host is Rob last time Steve Mora special yesterday Howard date back with after this will in today's program were talking about biblical finances and was going way back to Genesis, because there we find that God created man, woman, and yes there are some differences there and some of those differences may impact the way men and men view money in the marriage and the Rob West.

Obviously our host joining us today also was talking about drilling company to ask Janice's hand as is and how it is from differences in their are not generally snow this program were talking about. This is as you serve. Summer is coming to his sister Mary couples have problems communicating well.

I believe your reason is God's way. One of the best.

It's my favorite book on this topic and a lot of this in fact all of this were talking about today can be found in that great book just before the break we were talking about gender differences and how that brings uniquenesses to the marriage relationship that we have to work on together. Understanding she's different than me, he's different than her and that's not a bad thing as long as we can appreciate it Howard, there's other differences that can make this challenging as well. What about differences in background, how do they determine attitudes about money big time with my first wife, Bev and I could not have grown up in families that differ more from each other. Bev's modest log home. It actually costs $300 to build what you did was one of the few in the rural community that had indoor plumbing and she learned how to repair her family car. She had to be careful to stretch every penny.

Yet her family was incredibly generous with folks who had need.

She was really extraordinarily frugal and extraordinarily generous and my parents were classic entrepreneurs start with nothing. They grew the business that provided a comfortable lifestyle and I am totally clueless when it comes to auto repair.

But I do understand financial gods put into perspective. And so we could not have come from more different backgrounds and that's very common is in it and I'd love to know how that then played out in your marriage. How did those differences affect you and Bev will frankly we were unprepared for the challenges early in our marriage because of the way our families, their values that color our thinking about money and differing expectations toward spending debt, saving, giving those things placed a real stress on our early marriage. Fortunately we discovered that God had designed our childhood circumstances to help us balance each other because of their vile.

I learned to spend less and be more generous from me.

She learned how to stay out of debt become wiser investor.

That's a couples really need to discuss their different backgrounds evaluate how they been influenced by their parents. Financial attitudes and really discuss what influences have been healthy.

Which ones haven't been healthy. How can we work together to use the positive influences in her own marriage that's hokey and it's a learned behavior is, and it would be great if we could start out that way. And yet often it takes many years if not decades to figure that out.

In fact, all of us are probably still growing in understanding how we can communicate well with our spouses and what makes this challenging Howard is that old adage opposites attract really is true.

Spouses often have very different personalities. That's so true and I'm in a position I think probably many people will be at some point in their life and I know that your mom went through this Rob when you have a spouse that you had for a long time I was married to Bev for 46 years.

She passed away after a five year journey with cancer and I got remarried a couple years later and there's just a whole new dynamic.

But the good news is you and I was used to communicating in finding out what what what was on my new spouses heart with respect to money. How is her background different than mine.

In tests of communication that is a lifelong adventure.

But I really do believe with all my heart that God links the husband and wife together, even though they have different backgrounds different others different gender issues. Of course, but it's for the benefit of both of them. Howard, your book also mentions the importance of husband-and-wife talking about and discussing about these differences even before they tied the knot in those things will come up in the marriage that's guaranteed. But if you can offset some of those early on while you both still have stars in your eyes under you under Christ obviously also mentions the unit shorten its really is like that. I have talking and just yes differences in time and not euros in America's year and write those to early summer. Financial have Sgt. Verizon answer here Christ obviously transit per acre to discuss them. When I began to court Lynn my second wife.

That's exactly what we did and we learn more about each other during that three hour discussion that we probably had in the in the months that led up to that by identifying those things that are really important to you, including your financial life and discuss them with one another with the honesty and transparency.

This is so helpful.

Howard you we hear from a lot of folks that call the program as I know you experienced as well as host of this program previously that are having challenges related to money and marriage and it comes down to differences in their own spiritual walk, talk about that piece of it as we wrap up today will that's huge is probably the single most important thing Rob that if you have a person who knows Christ, bearing a person who does not know the Lord or euro remarried to a person who doesn't know the Lord, there are significant challenges I can be significant challenges and I think fundamentally, the key thing to do if you're a believer, married to somebody who doesn't yet know Christ is to you love them like Christ loves us to encourage them and then it appropriate time to share Christ. Certainly, to pray for them that they would come to know the Lord and then you have the circumstance Rob where you have a person who is fully committed to following Christ married to somebody who's relatively indifferent about following Christ, and other values will be different and it's it's challenging, but by God's grace. He can work in those circumstances as well, but you can still have great try to have great communication with your spouse regardless of where they are spiritually. But recognizing that that's going to surface differences for sure yeah what Howard this is been great advice for using our differences to our advantage in marriage. It requires a bit of a shift in our thinking and yet it's real and it's really in line with God's heart.

Thanks for stopping by to share this with us today. Loved it. Rob, thank you Howard Davis but I guess today his book money marriage God's way is available@moneywiselive.org listening to moneywise live but today we're not lives so if you hear that phone number. Please don't call them to stick around.

Lots of good information yesterday is available for his little different here because emails have been stacking up so for this segment before the next break just to tackle some of these emails are like you like it to write this one is from Morris in Reading, Pennsylvania. He says I am thinking about getting started on a small scale in the stock market I'm new to this so I don't want anything complicated. What do you recommend yeah couple of things Morris number one is you want to begin to educate yourself on investing, but I would do that from a biblical perspective. A great book on this topic, which you find it our website moneywise. Live.org is the sound mind investing handbook. You'll begin to learn everything you need to know, but through a biblical lens because God's word is a lot to say about how we handle money, including our investment. So that's called again the sound mind investing handbook and it's put out by Austin Pryor, who is the founder of sound mind investing their great friend of ours here in moneywise live in their website would be another great resource sound mind investing.org what you're going to want to do is first define the purpose of the money so you want to make sure anytime you're putting money in the stock market Morris that this is long-term money. Meaning, you shouldn't really need to touch this for at least 10 years and if that's the case then you can put it in a properly diversified investment portfolio. By the way that I did. Diversification comes right out of Ecclesiastes, you don't want to put all your eggs in one basket, but you can put it into a diversified portfolio invested in some high quality investments and let it go and it's going go up and down ebon flow, but over every 10 year period, at least historically speaking, you should do well, better than you can do in a high-yield savings account or CD or anything like that. So that would be the approach I would take.

I would use some mutual funds or exchange traded funds to do this and again@soundmindinvesting.org they can help you find some really high quality funds to put the money and in the last thing I would say is you want to dollar cost average, which just simply means whatever amount you want to put into the market. Perhaps an initial amount, but then you might want to add to it monthly as you put it in every month you get a buy-in at different points in the market you bind in the markets up you buying when the markets down. By the way when the markets down you're going to get more shares of the same investment for the same amount of money. And as that recovers the buying and systematically like that is going to be the very best strategy and it allows you to put in a good bit of money over time. So I take my advice on that's the sound mind investing handbook sound mind investing.org B diversified invest in mutual funds and ETF's and do it on a systematic basis and I think you be off to a great start, but you know Rob quite often we hear from people and when they ask a question like this what they're thinking is how I pick out 45 cool stocks to invest in you honey respond well, especially as of late.

Steve because some cool stocks a bit all over the headlines right making lots of money. Some of them in electric cars and other items that having to do with the brick-and-mortar gaming companies, but you know I think you need to resist the temptation of doing that that's not prudent investing investing that the Bible describes is described as steady plodding and buying the latest highflying tech stock is anything other than steady plodding.

It's more akin to gambling because you're trying to jump in and make a quick buck in the market and that's just not what investing is all about investing is for the long haul with an appropriate level of risk in a properly diversified portfolio, with the right time horizon and that is not buying the latest high fire and here's our next email question from Sam in Tulsa, Oklahoma dear Robin Steve, I own a home that I want to sell so I can purchase a new place. How do I sell and buying at the same time, I need the money from selling my current home to get the new place. What am I missing.

Well, yeah, this is a classic challenge Sam and it's one that requires some good planning, and perhaps a couple of different options you option one is you actually you actually close on the sale of your home on the same day you buy the next dolmen you move the proceeds from one transaction to the other problem is, it typically doesn't work that way. Often times, one of two things is going to happen.

You're going to have to sell your current home and then agree as a part of the contract to rent the home back for a period of time. If the new buyer is willing to let you do that so that you have time to go out and buy your next place that would be a not one option. A second option would be you come up with temporary housing. See you put everything in storage you go live with some family members or friends or you rent something for six months you close on the first sale. You put the proceeds in a high-yield FDIC insured savings account and then you start shopping for that next time. Guess what, the good news of that strategy. Even though it's a little inconvenient is you'll have cash ready to go in a sellers market where there is low inventory you'll be ready to move when you find the right place that the Lord has for you. So one of those three scenarios is probably right from you a simultaneous closing on the sale and the by renting your home that you sold back for a period of time or moving into some temporary housing.

Just have a little bit of time left.

You said it's a sellers market. What does that mean really well yesterday. Then just simply means in a sellers market. There is very little inventory out there so the housing market is been very strong over the last number of years, many years actually and what that means is people are buying homes up and there's not a lot to choose from. So when you're going to buy a home. Often times others multiple contracts within days, even hours of a home and being listed which related to our last email question that is part of the challenge. So going ahead and selling your home in advance. Having the proceeds which means you have alternate housing set up during the interim is actually to your advantage because if you go in with a contingency on selling an existing home.

There probably going to pass on your contract in a sellers market because there's other people where they don't have that potential risk that you don't sell your home in the contract falls through, so an interesting time. Here are sellers market that's for sure. Thanks very much.

If you like to know more about our minister, please visit us online@moneywiselive.org lifeline.G pause for a brief break, but will be back. Remember, today's program is recorded.

Don't try to call but more moneywise right turning in.

This is money wisely. I that guy over there good looking one with all the answers. He's Rob West, I'm Steve Moore, the flipside of all that and I were glad to have you with a statement today, so today's program is pretty recorded. Don't try to call in but we do have some very interesting colors lined up in some of their questions may be yours. So let's dive in to Minnesota and Mark, thanks for hanging on my friend. How can we help user question on annuities G taken my call but lecture and I got a retirement fund of 401(k) iPad and I former employer for 20 years and I've moved on to a new employer but I left my 401(k) where it was and now I'm looking at rolling it over in 60 years old so word were looking at, so undoubtedly been moderate investors up to this point in working with. That's right, but person there wanting to put it into a variable annuity and I know you just talk to a call about annuities which kinda gave me a few my answers but what's your thought on that it is not something that is wise to do it with this sort will look into my maybe Mark I think the reason is just determining why it is your choosing an annuity or why it's being recommended to you and and making sure that that's the best fit. What is it you're trying to accomplish that lead you to believe based on what you've heard, that this is the best move for you while you were getting older were looking at retirement and in probably five or six years.

And of course the market could become volatile and wicked loose of the angel amount will looking at a place to put it a little bit safer maybe just getting it out of the moderate aggressive type and there's no doubt that there needs to be a change in the investment strategy as you transition from your working years to your retirement years. The question is just whether you need an insurance product to do that what you would typically see as it would move to a largely fixed income portfolio with a growth component to it so you know where as you might have 60% in stocks or more, you might in this new portfolio have 30 or 40% you aware that over time not in any one or two years, but over five or 10 years because remember the Lord to reason that your health is good. You could need this money to last for a couple of decades or more and so over 10 or 20 years that growth component should do well like it has over the last hundred years in stocks and that's going to provide a little bit of extra growth that would supplement what you're getting in the fixed income portion which is probably not going to do well over the next year mean, with interest rates near zero and you know bond prices probably coming down a bit.

You know it's knocking to be a great time for fixed income. But again, these two things over the long haul. Should average out to a pretty good return and still give you access to your money, but if you'd feel more comfortable with an annuity and there are some good ones out there and I'm a big fan of thriving financial year that may be something that gives you and your wife more peace of mind to know that you don't have any risk, even if that risk was mitigated through a smaller allocation to stocks and knowing that you have a guaranteed return that you can count on as long as what it's going to grow to and what it will ultimately become if you converted to an income stream is going to meet your needs now and in the future.

And there's inflation riders and all that is been thought through through a really well thought out plan, then I could get on board with that. If it gives you peace of mind to know that you're handling God's money in the way that you feel like it is prudent and I just wouldn't automatically assume that you can't minimum me to minimize the risk without going to an insurance product. I think there are certainly ways to do that and still keep access to your money by just building a portfolio that's focused first on your capital preservation preserving what you have and then you know capital appreciation and income second, which is different than during your working years. Does that make sense Mark Mark. I think maybe we had a line problem with Mark but Mark we glad that your call today. Hope you heard the rest of Rob's answer and it sounded good to me rougher before time gets the better of us.

Let's go to Akron, Ohio, Melinda, thank you so much for holding on today so what's on your mind. My call and I recently sold a rental property that we previously lived winning a profit and were not sure what to do with the profit we were thinking about maybe putting it towards our current mortgage. We were kind of looking for an idea of what we could do in order to offset our taxes for next year. Yeah, well, couple of thoughts and you know the first one that folks would typically mention as long as you identify the replacement property within 45 days of something called the 1031 exchange. But that would mean that you'd want to take this money and roll it into another investment property. Are you looking to do that. Are you trying to exit real estate investment. I think what kind exit hundred percent sold on pretty much yeah okay well the 1031 exchange is a way by which you can push that kick the can down the road if you will, you know, by delaying the capital gain because you roll the profit in the next property that you identify within 45 days and you conclude the exchange within 180 days and essentially deferred that took down the road so the money can keep working for you but if you don't want to do that. I think at this point it's just a matter of looking at the priority uses of the money you're gonna have to pay the capital gain.

So what would it look like to give a portion of the of it away and they know and get a deduction. That's gonna decrease on your tax liability and allow you to give more to kingdom causes, and beyond that, what's just the best use of the money in terms of your own financial foundation.

I would ask things like, do you have an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months if not you, I would fully fund that in an online savings account.

The Abney consumer debt. Your credit cards or other types of debt, student loans cars that done that you want to pay off, you know, in the and beyond that, if if everything kind of is in order. You're on track for your long-term savings.

Do you want to accelerate the payoff of your mortgage that would come down the wino if you will. Ways for me know after emergency fund after consumer debt after making sure you your putting enough away for retirement on a monthly basis, but it certainly on the list because we absolutely want you to be debt free if at all possible. By the time you hit retirement and you can do it sooner. Great. Love the peace of mind that comes with being unencumbered and having your home paid off free and clear. So does that give you some ideas and set to generate any other questions. Melinda, we are debt free and our current mortgage and we do have an emergency five.

So taking profit that would offset our taxes that we have to pay next year if we put it toward their current mortgage know it would not, you'd still have a capital gain that would be due on the investment property proceeds and so you need to visit with your tax repair to understand what that is been then once that's paid it's really just a matter okay now where we want to put this money and given that you you know what you said about being debt-free. Apart from your home.

It sounds like accelerating the payoff of your mortgage be a great idea and that if you have anything left over.

Other than giving you could look at investing it. Maybe in a more passive sense. Were you don't have to keep the maintenance on the house and in other repairs and all the things that come with having an investment property okay Melinda thanks for your call Rob word on the street and you know how that is word on the street is that you occasionally hang out on the moneywise app. Is that still true. I yeah right here in the community. Tab Steve which, in addition to the digital envelope system we can download your transactions.

We have a community tab or we share ideas and encourage each other and ask questions, and I jump in there to help answer some and 11.

Check it out today when you visit moneywise the thanks for joining us today. We know you have lots of other options and chosen to spend some time: calling program.

That really is vital. However, this program is prerecorded still try to call in, but tomorrow the next day will be here alive. But today we got some calls all lined up in advance, thank you very much for that.

Let's see how plant city, Florida Teresa, thank you for calling in and what's in your mind all call recall that I bought eight years ago.

Hey Lord bank foreclosure home and needed a few repair so I borrowed on it to make repairs. You probably didn't need some more foundation repair and call the different places that not one person tried to get me to get a reverse mortgage to get a phone that all of not being ill really don't know which way to go.

I wanted borrowed enough to pay off the HELOC and which is variable and I wanted to go with a lower rate. You know, yes, work. Teresa, the HELOC is the only mortgage on the property.

It's the only loan is that right yeah okay what you think.

The home is worth you any idea hundred okay, I'll have you gotten some estimates on the foundation work that needs to happen. No, not yet caught up what I want one call that I don't know which direction to go about it. I need to get out mortgage broker. I don't have all the money out for different console yes yes well I think we got a separate these two improve first thing is finding the right contractor to help you with the foundation repairs and you're gonna want to shop around there in South Florida to make sure you find the right one meeting that the reputable they have a good review and rating and that you compare the prices one website you could check would be home advisor.com home advisor.com where you basically would be looking for foundation contractors that are very reputable and have been used by others in your community and they rate them highly. Another option will be a call your local church or friends and family and just ask for somebody who's had to have a home repair skews me foundation repairs done and that they could make a referral to you because foundations can be very expensive and they're not all created equal. Some may want to take a very elaborate approach to these repairs which can be very expensive and others might find other ways to do it that perhaps would still solve the problem and not anywhere near as costly and so it could be no five or 10,000. It could be 30,000 or more, just depending upon what the issues are and how they want to approach it.

So we gotta begin to get some estimates just so you know how much money you need now in terms of the home equity loan skews the line of credit. I do like the idea of you. Perhaps converting this to a fixed rate mortgage. I don't want you to extend it out real long period of time, and I want to make sure that it fits in your budget but I think perhaps this could be the opportunity for you to pay that off the money you need for the foundation repair which is critical if it's a if it's a real problem and you have something that works in your budget at a low interest rate that you can begin working toward paying off what you have available in your budget that you could use a how much on a monthly basis that you could use for this new mortgage about 700 okay are I don't sorry very good and and what are you currently paying toward the home equity line of credit every month.

43 543 okay and yeah so I think based on what I'm hearing and when I'm in again.

The wild card here Teresa is what is it going to cost to make the necessary repairs to the foundation, but you probably with the reduction in the interest rate with a new first mortgage. As long as you have the documented income that you need and you have a good credit score. Hopefully something in over 700, you're probably going to get a pretty attractive rate I'd love for you not to extend this beyond 15 years if at all possible, but I think the starting point is to find out what were dealing with in terms of the foundation repairs just so you know how much you would need to borrow.

Then you can start shopping. This was some mortgage brokers and even some of the online banks to see what would be available to you at what rate. And then what's the corresponding monthly payment for you to take care of both of these loans so you can make the needed repairs. So I'm going encourage you as a next step to begin investigating these this foundation repair get some quotes again you could go to home advisor.com. Check with your friends and family check with your local church you want to try to find at least three companies that specialize in this to come out look at it and give you a bid on the project and then what you have more information then we can start looking for the loan. This can be the right fit for you so I can put you into a real trouble spot in terms of your monthly budget but will overall help you pay this off even quicker than you are with your current track on this HELOC so I would be the next step. I think you need to take and then give us a call back if you have other questions, and great advice Rob because lots of people don't know much about these kinds of repairs for a foundation. It sounds kind of scary could be made to sound scary, whether it is or not. And you don't want to jump at the first person that gives you a price and really check around and ask God to help you find a godly person who shoots straight with you. God bless you Teresa West Palm Beach hi Tom, what your situations are hello hi, my wife and I are born again Christians in we've always tied we continue to type on our income.

My son got himself well I'm sorry, he did not get himself into trouble, but he is in trouble with the law and we have legal expenses estimated at $28,000 coming up now we have no savings on the photographer and COBIT pretty much wiped out my business since last March. My wife works it part-time and we get on Social Security as well.

My question to you is we think God.

We raised 25,000 of the 28,001 article from the page and where my wife and I are talking, praying about whether we should kind on that gift money became into for my son's legal expenses on the output to 28 yes, so sorry to hear about the challenges you had financially. As a result of coded and also the legal challenges that your son is had in our prayer and will last.

The money was like community to be praying to this and our prayers that he's on the right track moving forward with regard to your question about the go fund me account. I would look at that really is a designated gift. This is money that was given by generous folks who want to be helpful in this situation. Obviously, I would suspect they know the situation and their wanting to come alongside you in a difficult time to provide some financial assistance.

And that's a real blessing, but there giving this money for this specific purpose, not giving it necessarily for you to give somewhere else, so I would look at this as a designated gift, which I think separates it from what I would consider normally to be my increase that we would then give systematically on as a tithe. I would not put this in that category.

For the reasons I mentioned. So I think the key is see this as a blessing acknowledge that before the Lord and to these people. Your gratefulness and then proceed for the intended purpose behind which they gave the money and that is to take care of these bills and let's trust the perhaps this is going to make a statement to your son that will really just cause him to see the generosity in the open handedness in the love behind the folks that came alongside him and you during this difficult time.

Maybe that will be something that the Lord will use to get his attention, so will be praying for you, but I think this is not money, I would be typing on me. Thank you, Tom. Blessings to you and your family quickly. Gurney Illinois Hilda just a couple of minutes. Can you give us the high point to not according you here. I will carry you to pay for college to get loan with you. This is unfortunate. We are about out of time so won't be able to give you an answer here. This is not my favorite approach Hilda for saving for college.

It is a viable strategy in that the cash value of the whole life insurance can be withdrawn or you can set up a loan that you intend to pay back out of the policy and that can be used to pay for college. One benefit is that those are those assets are not counted for the purpose of financial aid.

So if you happen to potentially qualify for financial aid.

This won't hurt you. But the biggest disadvantages just frankly, the cost of the premiums. It can be very expensive to have this whole life policy so I would much rather you save whatever you can between now and when they go off to college in a 529 plan you can go to saving for college.com to find the best 529 plan for you that's good to be counted as your asset which is factored in at a very small percentage around 5% when you calculate the expected family contribution for the financial aid. It's a great tool that will allow to grow over the next few years and then for the balance.

Let's not just assume they have to borrow.

Let's do everything you can for them to pay for college. Maybe starting a community college for a couple years working in the summers.

Maybe getting on campus job like I did as a resident assistant or just apply for every scholarship under the sun.

You get some great books at Amazon for that. But if I 29 would be my preference over the whole life. Thanks very much appreciate your thought we should voice the best moneywise lives, a partnership between Moody radio and moneywise media. Thanks for listening for Rob last time Steve Moore join us again next


Get The Truth Mobile App and Listen to your Favorite Station Anytime