Family Revival

Pastor, teacher, and author Adrian Rogers has introduced people all over the world to the love of Jesus Christ and has impacted untold numbers of lives by presenting profound truth simply stated. Thanks for joining us for this message.

Here's Adrian Rogers. We want revival in this, our church. But friend, unless we have revival in the family, we're not going to have revival in the church nor the nation.

So we're talking today about family revival. And I want us to read from Matthew chapter 19. Let's begin in verse three. Have you not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore, there are no more twain, but one flesh.

What therefore God hath joined together, that not man put asunder. We live in a sad day today of broken homes and throwaway marriages and people are treating adultery as a small thing, premarital sex as an incident and divorce as an unfortunate occurrence. And we are today desperately, desperately in need of a spiritual revival. And your family needs revival. I don't care who you are, where you are. You can always be better.

Get closer to the Lord Jesus Christ. And so we're going to look at what the Bible says, not what others say. The intellectuals of our day have told us that sex outside of marriage is no big deal. They've told us that pornography is a victimless crime. That's a lie, but they tell us that. We are being drowned in a mudslide of filth.

And yet they tell us that's only freedom of expression. We've come to a time where unwed motherhood is looked upon as incidental and it is quite all right to have a baby outside of wedlock. And many blessed little children are coming into this world without father and mother being married. Did you know that the one absolute moral today in the society is thou should not be judgmental, but of course we have to come back to the word of God. So I want us to see what God's word says about the family, about my family, your family, our families, but we need to go back to the beginning. If you would ask a carpenter to build a house, he perhaps could do it, but he would have no idea unless he first knew what a house was.

And so he has to know what a house is before he can build it. You have to know what a marriage is before you can build your marriage in the name and power of the Lord Jesus Christ. God has designed the family, not some social engineer.

It did not rise from the swamps of immorality and evolution. God has designed the family. Look in verses four and five. And he answered and said unto them, have you not read that he which made them at the beginning, made them male and female and said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother and shall cleave to his wife and they twain shall be one flesh. God established monogamous marriage to meet the deepest needs of humankind, emotional, physical, and psychological and spiritual. And God had something in mind when he planned the family. Now there are three key verbs in the scripture that I've just read to you.

One is leave, the other is cleave, and the third is be one flesh. Now this is God's plan for marriage. This is what God designed.

This is what God designed for my home and your home. So I want you to listen very carefully. First of all, it says that a person is to leave father and mother.

Now what does that tell us? It tells us that marriage is the supreme commitment. Marriage is a greater commitment than the commitment you have to your parents. Now you have a commitment to your parents. The Bible says you are to honor your father and your mother.

And may you never, ever forget that. But your marriage commitment rises even to a higher priority than your relationship to your parents. You're to leave father and mother and be joined to your wife. And it follows if the marriage relationship is greater than the relationship of parent and child, then the marriage relationship is also greater than child and parent.

We are to choose our mate and give higher priority to our mate than any other thing in this world. The first thing is to leave. That means that the purse strings and the apron strings need to be cut. Now secondly, not only does he say that we are to leave, but he says that we are to cleave. That word cleave means to weld together or to glue together. Marriage is to be a permanent relationship.

Now listen very carefully. Divorce is not an option in the word of God except for marital infidelity. You are to cleave to your wife. Till death do you part.

It is not something that is incidental. People get married for an ideal. The ideal turns to an ordeal.

Then they want a new deal. Marriage is a for lifetime commitment. And then he says not only are we to leave and to cleave, but he says we are to be one flesh. God's arithmetic is one plus one equals one. Now why one flesh? Well, we're to be one flesh physically for multiplication. God wants you to have children.

Children are a blessing from the Lord. Put this verse down in Malachi chapter two and verse 15. Did he not make one? That is husband and wife.

Did he not make one? Yet had he the residue of the Spirit and therefore one that he might see and seek, listen, a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

What does that say in plain English? God made husband and wife one that they might reproduce and have a godly seed. Sad thing in the world today is that many who ought to be having children are not having children. My heart goes out to those of you who want children and cannot have them and they would give anything if they could conceive and have a child. But there are many in the world today who no longer consider children a blessing but rather a curse. Many children are killed in the womb because they would be an impediment to the plans of father and mother. Today there is a new category of persons they call Dink's, capital D-I-N-K, double income, no kids. They figure if father and mother work, they don't have any kids, then they will have enough to satisfy their material desires.

I've told you before, however, that children don't make a poor man rich, they make a rich man poor. Thank God that you don't have to be a dink. We're to be one physically for multiplication. Listen, we're to be one flesh psychologically for communication.

You need somebody by your side. Marriage is the deepest emotional intimacy that you can have. Not only should you be lovers, you ought to be friends. Your wife is your completer, not your competitor. And we are to be one psychologically. Marriage is like a violin and a bow.

The bow may be something over here and the violin is something else. But when they get together, then the music comes. And then we're to be one flesh, not only for multiplication and not only for communication, we're to communicate one with another. And then we're to be one flesh for communion. My wife and I prayed this morning as we pray every morning together. And we open our hearts to God and to one another. We pray for our children. We pray for you. We pray for our nation. We pray for the nations of the world. And there are a few things, if any, that will draw husband and wife closer together than prayer.

And if you are one flesh, then you are one flesh. And when it follows as night follows day, you ought to pray together. And I'm going to ask you, if you're not having a family time of devotion, and mister, if you are not praying with your wife, there's something desperately wrong. Now, men don't like to pray with women because men are self-sufficient. Men don't mind getting the roof off.

They just don't like to get the walls down. But there's nothing that your wife needs more than to hear you pray and to hear your heart. And God has made us one flesh. Now, God has designed the family.

So, it follows as night follows day that Satan wants to destroy your family. Look, if you will, in chapter 19 and verse 7. And they said unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and put her away? He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives. But from the beginning, it was not so. And I say unto you that whosoever shall put away his wives, except it be for fornication, that word means sexual uncleanness, and shall marry another, committeth adultery, and whosoever marrieth her, which is put away, doth commit adultery.

Now, listen to me, folks. God says that marriage is to be a permanent union. But the devil has leveled all of the artillery of hell against the home, and he wants to break up your home. Now, there's some today who say, Well, I'm going to get a divorce. I've got a good reason for getting a divorce. They say, you know, and I've heard this too many times, the love has gone out of our marriage. Friend, that will not pass by the judgment of God that the love has gone out of your marriage. You see, it is not love that holds your marriage together. It is marriage that sustains your love. And love is not some emotion that you feel. It is a choice of the will.

As a matter of fact, the Bible says in Ephesians chapter 13, verse 25 and verse 25, husbands love your wives. That's not a suggestion. That is a command. What kind of God would command me to do something I cannot do? Suppose God tells me, Adrian, jump over this church building.

I can't jump over this church building. Therefore, God would not command me to do it unless somehow he enabled me to do it. And when the Bible says that husbands are to love their wives, that is a command from God. And behind every command of God is the omnipotent power of God to carry out that command. Over in the book of Titus, Titus chapter two, verse four, God teaches what the older ladies are to do, that they may teach the young women to be sober to love their husbands.

That doesn't say to feel like a grasshopper on roller skates. He's not talking about that kind of love. He says, teach them to love their husbands.

That is that something that you can learn is something you can do. Now, God has commanded us to love. Now, we have a generation today that doesn't understand love.

Therefore, they say the love is going out of our marriage. What happens and what happened when you were dating? You had your little shopping list. You were looking around. You said, I want somebody good looking or beautiful. I want somebody who thinks I'm funny. I want somebody with a good personality. I want somebody that has a certain physical attributes and maybe perhaps certain intellectual gifts, somebody who can make me feel good. And so the time comes when you finally say to that young lady or that young man, I love you. That may be true, but more likely in today's society, it is I want you.

I want you because you meet a particular need in my life. And that kind of love is not the love that God is talking about that binds husbands and wives together. As a matter of fact, that kind of love is a very conditional love. And if those are the reasons that you got married because of somebody's charm or somebody's beauty or somebody's wit, then your marriage is in danger. I'm not saying that charm and wit and beauty are not important. Sure, they're important, but let me tell you something, folks. Those things fade.

They go away after a while. I mean, you may have married a man who was an Adonis, but now he's bald and bulgy. Can you see how dangerous that kind of conditional love is to a marriage? It is basically selfish. And it's going to bring three attitudes in your partner if you married for that kind of a reason. First of all, fear. They're going to be afraid that they cannot keep up the conditional love. They're going to be afraid of the conditions of marriage.

They're going to be afraid that somebody else is going to come along that meets those conditions better. Number two, you're going to feel guilt. There's something wrong with me.

I did not measure up. Number three, you'll feel finally anger. You'll feel like you have been used. That is conditional love. God's love for us is an unconditional love. And when the Bible says that a husband is to love his wife, God uses the word agape love, unconditional love. And it does not depend upon our meeting those conditions.

The Bible says in Romans 5, 8, but God commiteth his love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. When we know that the husband, the wife loves the other with an unconditional love, think what that does. You have security in the place of fear. You have peace, which replaces guilt.

You have joy, which is going to replace that anger. And so, don't say that the love is going out of our marriage and therefore we need to separate. It's a lie from hell.

Number two, somebody comes up with this excuse. It would be far better for our children if we got a divorce than our children to live in this constant wrangling. Well, sociologists have told us that divorce is seldom if ever a positive factor in the life of a child. If you're talking about what is better for the child, I suggest you go ask the children and see what they think about it. Actually, you get the idea that it's better for the children. Really, basically that is selfishness on your part. You want to do what you want and have what you want to have and yet you pawn it off as better for the children. And you say, well, the only two alternatives we have to divorce are over here with constant wrangling. Listen to me, there's a third alternative. You get your heart right with God. Stop this wrangling.

Don't use some silly excuse for it. The Bible says that we're to live peaceably with all men. Well, a third person will say, well, I owe it to myself to be happy. Oh, you'll hear this over and over again. Friend, you owe it to yourself to keep your word when you made a marriage vow before Almighty God. And by the way, you don't live in isolation. Your happiness is not the only thing that matters.

Listen, when you say I want someone else, so I'm going to be happy. Do you know what you have said? God, I don't care about your commandments. Number two, you have defrauded your partner that you made a holy vow to. Number three, you have dishonored yourself because you now have broken that vow and you have wounded your children.

Another wrote this word. I want you to listen. Number three, furthermore, honor is not nearly as important as pleasure. In fact, my child, my own satisfaction is more important than you. Don't tell me that you are going to get a divorce because it would be better for the children. Now, there are others who say, well, I prayed about it and God has told me to get a divorce.

Oh, yes. You think that God has changed his laws just for you, that you are a special exception? No, listen, people who get divorces and people who don't get divorces normally have about the same kind of problems. It's how people react to those problems. There are no problems too big to solve, just people too small to solve them.

We can solve the problem if we will attack the problem rather than one another. Now, if you've got a bad marriage, one sermon is not going to change your marriage and your marriage is not going to change your marriage. Your marriage will not be healed overnight, but I tell you what you can do in this one service. You can change the direction of your marriage. Change the direction and you can begin to grow a marriage as God wants it to be.

You can make that decision. What a tragedy it is when 10% of the marriage is in trouble and the other 90% goes down the grain because people are not mature enough to do what God wants. Now listen, God has designed the family. Satan wants to destroy the family. Thirdly, you must defend your family.

Again, I'm telling you, we are at war. There is a war on the family, perhaps more than any other war, more insidious than the terrorism and other things that we face. I want to say again, this church is no stronger than its families.

This nation is no stronger than its families. God says, wherefore there are no more twain but one flesh, what therefore God hath joined together. Let not man put asunder. Now folks, God has joined us together and where there is God, there is hope.

Now perhaps you failed. You say, Pastor Rogers, the message today is making me feel guilty. Our home is broken, broken beyond repair. We've divorced and gotten remarried.

What should we do? Make the best of that marriage. Though it was not God's original will, you cannot unscramble eggs. And I want you to understand that God is a God of mercy. There are those who are self-righteous people who want to make divorce an unpardonable sin. They want to make divorce a dead-end road. And yet God's Word teaches that if we have failed, we can be forgiven and forgiveness is always available.

And listen, if your home has been broken, whether it's your fault or somebody else's fault, I'm telling you that is not the end for you. God has a way for you. Romans chapter eight, verse one says, there's therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.

None. Don't you let the devil condemn you over this. Don't you let the devil forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. And Isaiah chapter one, verse 18 says, come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord. If your sins be as scarlet, they should be white as snow.

Though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. And people who are self-righteous looking down upon others who have failed. You need to understand that you failed also. Who are you to judge someone else? And the church is not supposed to be so much a showcase for saints. As it is a hospital for sinners.

And if you have a need, we ought to be here. There were people who wanted to stone a woman because she was taken in adultery. And you remember the story, John chapter eight, verse seven. And so when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself and said unto them, he that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Now, anybody in this congregation sinless? Of course not. Therefore, don't you look down your long nose at somebody who has suffered a broken home. They need your love. They need your compassion.

They don't need your condemnation. Now, Jesus in this same chapter in John eight, verse 10 says, and when Jesus had lifted up himself and saw none, but the woman, he said unto her, woman, where are those thine accusers? There is no sin no more.

Now I ask you a question. What would God do with a repentant sinner today who has a broken home? How would Jesus treat them? He would treat them exactly the same way because the Lord changes not.

He says that Jesus is the same yesterday and today and forever. Now, sure divorce is wrong. If you think I'm minimizing divorce this morning, or marital infidelity, you're dead wrong. We will never as a church, lower the bar. We will teach what God's word teaches that marriage is a union where people leave, cleave and become one flesh. That is God's plan. We will build at the top of the cliff, a fence, a wall as high, as strong as we can do it. And we will teach our young people clearly and plainly with no equivocation, no stutter, no stammer, what the Bible says about marriage. We will build that wall there at the top of the cliff.

But ladies and gentlemen, we also need an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff. We also need to minister to those who have failed in some way. And we are to defend our homes. Now, if the devil, God has designed it, the devil wants to destroy it, then it's up to you clearly and plainly to defend the home.

Now, how can you defend your home? Number one, if you are already married, make Jesus Christ the head, the center, the nucleus of your home. Now, Jesus, your home is like a wheel and Jesus is the hub.

And the closer the members of that, the spokes in that wheel come to the hub, the closer they are to one another. And let me tell you this, if you will make your home, put Christ in the center of your home, that will be in this day and in this age, perhaps the greatest testimony you can possibly give. I have many people tell me, Pastor, thank you for modeling the home.

I'm not even conscious of that. It's something right that we ought to do. But I've had perhaps more people say that than say I heard your sermon. I'm telling you your greatest testimony if you are saved with a Christian home, may be your home.

Now, number two, make sure that Christ is the head of your home. Number two, continue to feed that love day by day. Now, some people get the idea that love, true love is like a dazzling diamond. Something that we find, something that we purchase, something that we keep, something that we enjoy, a diamond is forever. But no, that's not what love is. Love is not like a diamond. Love is like a flower, a beautiful flower, and it must be nurtured. It must be cultivated.

It must be cared for day by day, like a tender flower that gets more and more beautiful. And if you don't love your wife more today than you did some years ago, you probably love her less. Now, I want to say a word to you men. Never flirt with another woman. Even in jest. Never cease to flirt with your own wife.

Remember how you used to treat her when you first got married? You go around and open the door of the car for her. Now, if a man opens the car door, one of two things is true.

Either the car is new or the wife is new. Never flirt with another. And if you are married and have a Christian home, make it a testimony to the world. Now next, if your home is broken, ask God for forgiveness. If it was not your fault, deal with that bitterness and get rid of it.

You're not going to make it any better with bitterness. And if you are unmarried, you college students, listen to your pastor. Marry only in the Lord. Never, never, no, never, ever marry an unsafe person with the idea that you can lead that person to Christ.

You're asking for trouble. The Bible says be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. An unbeliever is a child of the devil. If you marry a child of the devil, you give the devil forefather-in-law. You marry only in the Lord. Do not marry a person in order to change them. By the way, you say, how am I going to find the right person? Well, to find the right person is to be the right person.

There's somebody else out there that's looking for you just like you are looking for them and trust the Lord in this and be patient. Now, if you want your marriage to last, remember what the Bible says in the book of Ecclesiastes. One strand can be broken. One strand can be broken. Two strands can be broken, but three strands together give strength.

What is a threefold core? It is a man, a woman, and Jesus Christ. Question, those of you who are married and have good marriages, those of you who have marriages and on the rocks, those of you who've had a broken home, are you willing to come and say, Lord God, I want revival in my home. There can't be revival in my home unless there's revival in me. And there cannot be revival in the church unless there's revival in the home. And there cannot be revival in the nation unless there is revival in our families.

Oh, God, start a revival and let it begin with me. There are three homes that God wants you to have. God wants you to have a heavenly home. Are you headed there? Are you saved? Bound for glory?

Are you? Do you know that you're saved? God wants you to have a heavenly home. God wants you to have a family home. And God wants you to have a church home.

And Jesus is the key to all three. Would you bow your heads in prayer? Would you pray for your home, for your family, for your single, for the home that you hope to have? Did you know that you can pray for your partner even when you don't even know their name because God knows their name?

If you've not yet been married. If you fail, remember that failure is not final. That divorce is not an unpardonable sin. Oh, that God has a future for you.

If any man be in Christ Jesus, he is a new creature. Old things are passed away. That's not to minimize divorce. It's to maximize grace.

We need to understand that. Friend, would you ask God to take your home and make it a testimony to your neighbors, to others around about you? Let your home be a cameo of God's love and God's faithfulness. Father God, oh God, in the name of Jesus, I pray that you bless our homes and may there be revival in the home.

Now, while heads are bowed and eyes are closed, if you've never, ever really received Jesus Christ, as your personal savior and Lord, would you pray a prayer like this? Dear God, I need you. I want you. I need to be saved. I need my sin forgiven. I need your power in my life.

I want a home in heaven. Jesus, you died to save me and you promised to save me. If I would only trust you, I do trust you, Jesus. Tell him that right now.

Not privately, but fervently. I do trust you, Jesus. Come into my life now. Right now, this moment, come in.

Take control of my life. I trust you to do it. Now, friend, you don't have to have an emotional feeling for that to happen.

You don't have to have a vision for that to happen, a sign. Stand on his word. Lord, come into my life. I trust you to do it. Thank you for doing it. Thank you, Jesus. Now, dear Lord Jesus, help me not to be ashamed of you. Help me to make this public, to show that I really mean business. In your name I pray. Amen. Call 1-800-274-5683 or call 1-800-274-5683. Thank you.