In Praise of Godly Women, Part 1 (cont'd)

Secondly, thank God for women with strong family values. I want you to note here in Proverbs 31, the strong family values of this godly woman. Look at several verses with me, verses 11 and 12. It says her husband has full confidence in her.

And lacks nothing of value. Godly women have learned who can be against us. And according to verse 35, nothing can separate them from the love of Christ. Not trouble, not hardship, not persecution, not famine, not nakedness, danger or sword. None of those things, Romans 8 tells us, can separate us from the love of Christ. And then a few verses down from there, it tells you that you are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Now it would be good enough to be a conqueror. But we're told our identity in Christ is we are more than conquerors. And godly women have learned to accept that as truth and to draw on the strength of their identity in Christ. And based on that identity, then they know what their ability is in Christ, that they can in fact do all things, as Paul said in Philippians 4, 13. They can do everything they need to do through Christ, who gives them strength. Thank God for women of nobility, strength and power. And then secondly, thank God for women with strong family values. I want you to note here in Proverbs 31, the strong family values of this godly woman.

Look at several verses with me, verses 11 and 12. It says her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. Verse 15, she gets up while it is still dark. She provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls. This is the even has a maid.

Several of them. But she's taking care of her family. Look at verse 21. When it snow, she has no fear for her household for all of them are clothed in scarlet. Verse 23, her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. Verses 26 through 28, she speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Her children arise and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her. Thank God for women with strong family values. Thank God that there are women in the body of Christ today who have come to realize that in God's scheme of things, family is more important than finances. Family is more important than quote unquote personal fulfillment.

Thank God for women who have decided not to follow the ways of the world that have everybody out to do their own thing and let family come in second, third, fourth, wherever they come in. It's not the will of God and we in the body of Christ, we've got to decide that we're going to do things God's way and God's way is for us to prioritize family above things and family above the pursuit of selfish ambition. Now you have to always remember when it comes to family, this is God's will and we do it because it is God's will. He is the one who said when you enter into family life, you decide to be a wife, you decide to be a mother. Then you take on responsibilities.

You become a steward of responsibilities that I have given you. Notice that God in his word gives us job descriptions, tells us how we are to prioritize family, both men and women as we come into marriage, how we are to prioritize one another above our personal pursuits and ambitions. I've long since been on the record that a husband's job number one for a husband who wants to be a man of God, his first job and responsibility is to be married to a happy woman.

I've long since been on the record about that, so now it's the women's turn. If you are a married woman, job number one is to do all you can to be married to a happy man, to prioritize your marriage above many of these things that you see people striving for in the world and going through all kinds of changes. Even if it means breaking up, housekeeping, oh well, because they're out for number one and number one is personal pursuit, me, myself and I. This is not the will of God. The will of God is for us to have strong and godly family values and thank God for women who have those. Many of us were blessed to be raised by or heavily influenced by women who knew how important it was to love their husbands and their children, knew how important it was to take care of family and to make sure things were straight and thank God for that. Married women, your job is to do what you can to be married to a happy man.

Notice what we are told here. This woman's husband has full confidence in her and he lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life.

Why? Because she knows how to handle her business at home. She knows how to make sure that he is well treated and well respected. He has confidence in her decision making. He has confidence in her priorities. He has confidence also in her ability to be discreet.

He has full confidence in her because she has learned how to be discreet. See if you're going to have a strong marriage, you've got to learn some lessons. You've got to make some quality decisions. Marriages don't get strong by themselves and the church, if you haven't noticed it, we are in all out spiritual warfare over the family because we're resisting the trends of the world and the enemy of our souls is coming against us to try to destroy families. So if you're going to have a strong family, you're going to have to make those decisions that are consistent with what the word says and you've got to decide to prioritize your relationship above all others.

In the earlier years of my marriage, that's one of the lessons I learned the hard way to prioritize my wife properly, to put her in that place that only she was to occupy in my heart and in the way I lived out my life. And I don't mind sharing with you that in the earlier years of my marriage, I didn't understand that and I had a lot of platonic female friends from my single years and when I got married, I just dragged them into my married years. And because they were platonic, I thought everything was alright. Well, you know, these are legitimate relationships. I mean, I'm, you know, doing right.

I'm not, you know, messing around or anything like that. So what's the problem? I couldn't figure out what was the problem.

I know these people and they're saved, you know them. So what's the problem? See, I'll tell you about me so that you can sit and rest easy and pretend like you don't have such struggles and issues. And I didn't get why I wasn't married to a perfectly happy woman because I thought I'm providing well and what have you and I just didn't get it. And along the way, I had to learn after I got tired of being married to an unhappy woman.

After a while, I had to figure out there must be something that I haven't learned yet. I went before the Lord and talked with her and tried to work things through and the Lord combined with her helped me to understand that I had misprioritized her. And I had to make a quality decision that she would feel like she would not only be in what I said, but by the way I lived my life, she would be the number one priority in my human relationships.

And the time came when I realized that I was guilty of having L-shaped relationships that made her feel less than special. Don't go away. The second half of today's Destined for Victory message with Pastor Paul Shepherd is coming right up. But we want to take just a moment to thank all of you who sustained Destined for Victory with your prayers and financial support gifts that help Pastor Paul share the gospel with a growing audience. Destined for Victory is a listener supportive ministry. And right now, as we find ourselves recovering from the pandemic and the challenges of the past year, your help is needed now more than ever. Many people have questions and you can help lead them to answers that can only be found in Jesus Christ. So as God leads, please prayerfully consider making a gift to Destined for Victory today. Give securely online at PastorPaul.net or call 855-339-5500. And thanks in advance for being as generous as you can. What can the letter L teach us about marriage and family?

More than you might think. Coming your way next, Pastor Paul shares a personal story from his own marriage, one that may help you in your own. So let's join him now for the rest of today's message in praise of godly women. Now I want you to picture a capital L and to realize that many people make this classic mistake in marriage in terms of misprioritizing, they develop L shaped relationships versus triangular relationships. I want you to picture a capital L and you know it has three points, the top and then the center base and then the side off to the right. Now understand one of the things that you do wrong in marriage very often is if you don't understand this, you as the married person, you are the base of the L. And what I did wrong was I dragged in all the people who were over on the right point into my life. Well, that point has no direct connection with the top of the L. Do you see what I'm saying?

And so I'm connected to both the end, the parallel end, the horizontal end and the vertical end. And the vertical end was the wife and I thought she's up there and so what's the problem? But there were these folks off to the side, she might have known them by name but she had no relationship with them, had no real sense of what their motives were, had no real sense of anything and so she felt like there was a whole area of my life that was off limits to her. And it caused her to feel insecure and less than important. And God had to show me that that L is wrong for a married man and for a married woman as well.

You don't go to the job and make all these friends that your spouse knows nothing about, has no sense of confidence in these people or in the way you're prioritizing your spouse. And God had to show me that any relationship that was L-shaped was one that was a cause of grief and trouble in my wife's heart and I had to repent for that and I had to make, at a certain point in our marriage, make a rock solid commitment to her that my relationships will become triangular because in a triangle the three points all have connection to each other. And I said to her at one point, any woman in my inner circle of friends or any woman who works closely with me, from then on she began to interview and hire all the women who work directly with me. And if you don't get by her, you don't get by. And I said to her, anybody you don't have complete confidence in or you have any misgivings whatsoever, I don't even have to understand it because you have to understand, men, there are times when we won't get it.

We won't get it. She will just feel something and think something and you can spend 21 days trying to figure it out if you want to. But your best bet is just to say, by faith, I'll just agree with you by faith. And that's exactly what had to happen. And suddenly she began to have a sense of security and confidence and it took our relationship to another level. Because you've got to learn to prioritize family over your personal ambitions and desires.

She had to learn a lesson as well. There was a time when this scripture speaks of a woman making sure her husband has full confidence in her. Women, you've got to do that by resolve. Just as I expressed my own change to better our marriage, she made some too. Because, you know, sometimes women, when you're going through some of those marital stresses and strife, sometimes women are guilty of just talking to everybody they feel close to about what they're going through.

Listen to me, sisters, I'm going to help you. Sometimes you feel like you just talked to everybody you feel close to. You've got to understand, he doesn't feel close to all those folk.

And see, here's what you've got to understand. First Peter 4 H says, love each other deeply because love covers a multitude of sins. If you want your spouse to develop full confidence in you, they have to know that you're not going to air all of your troubles and crises with them to people whose hearts they don't have a chance to get. And so you're creating a problem in your marriage talking to party C about your husband when your husband wouldn't talk to party C about himself. And so that's one of the lessons God taught my wife.

And I remember the time when she came to me and asked my forgiveness and we talked it through. And we decided that we are going to identify the people who we are both comfortable with so that if we're ever trying to work through something and get it straight, we have pre-approved lists. These folk are pre-approved. I don't even have to know in advance you're going to talk to them because I'm safe with them, you're safe with them.

And we found our pre-approved folk. So I know now if she's working through something and wants a third opinion, I know who she will talk to because we decided that to keep our marriage strong. I don't have to worry about walking in and she's got to suddenly change her conversation. Oh, this is good. You just don't know it, but this is good. And it'll keep some of you all out of trouble.

Walk in, you can tell somebody been talking and suddenly they go to stuttering. Yeah, well, mmm. Uh-huh, gotcha.

Listen, please understand something. We've got to make quality choices if we're going to prioritize family. We are to be married to happy people as much as lies within us and therefore you are a person of strong family values. Thank God for godly women who value their spouses, who honor them, who respect them, who cover. Now, when 1 Peter 4 says love covers a multitude of faults or sins, please understand it's not talking about some illegitimate cover up.

Covering simply means that you don't want to expose your spouse's weaknesses to the world. Now, if they need talking to, you do that in private and you do that with respect. The Bible says speak the truth in love.

You don't dress them down publicly and you don't have to dress them down privately. You can stay focused on the issue. Here's what you're doing. Here's what you're saying.

Here are the things I'm disturbed by and you focus on the issue. But when you get out in public, you make sure that people know I have my spouse's back. I have their back. You're not going to find out what we're going through because we're going to handle our business by ourselves or find the people we have confidence in and pull them in. But we are not going to let the world know everything we're going through because we have strong family values. Thank God for godly women who raise their children, both married women and those who find themselves single parents, raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. They have strong family values. Thank God some of these women have to go out and be the breadwinner, then come home and bake the bread. But God is giving them the strength to do it, to make sure their children are well taken care of, to make sure their children know that mom's got your back, that I'm going to see to it that your needs are met. And thank God for that, for those women who have made up in their minds they are going to be women of strong family values.

Women who don't create problems in their lives, they solve their problems. One of my favorite female characters in the Bible is the Shunammite woman spoken of in 2 Kings. And she is a woman who when Elisha was coming through her town of Shunamm, she wanted to build an extension on her house, another room so that this prophet, this man of God could have a place to stay, a place to call his own. But she had strong family values so she made sure to invite Elisha into a meal.

Why? Because she wanted her husband to get to know this man and to have the same confidence in him that she had. See, you've got to operate in wisdom if you're going to be a woman of God. And she operated in that wisdom and she made sure her husband came to know him and feel at home with him so that when the day came for her to say, honey, when that man of God comes through town, he doesn't have anywhere to stay. And I was thinking that we could build an extension on the home and give him his own place.

What do you think about it? Now, we're clearly told in 2 Kings that she was a woman of means. She got married having money and if she had been an unwise woman like some, not you, but women I know, he'd have come home one day and the contractors would have been all in the house. Why? Because it's my money, I do what I want to. Did I ask you for anything?

That's not wise living. And so she said, honey, what do you think about this? And made sure that there was the sense of partnership.

And she knew, she already knew in her heart she was building that room. And you sisters not slick, we know that you're two, three steps ahead of us. I just want you to know we understand, we know what's up. You are ahead of us. You are way down the road. But for wisdom's sake, pretend like we are walking together.

For wisdom's sake. She said, honey, what do you think about it? She probably took him up on the roof. Now, I was thinking about building it right here.

Do you think this is better over here? He said, yeah, yeah, I think over here, yeah, yeah. So then she said, all right, that's a good idea, honey.

Thank you for your input. That is so good. And he down at the city gates thinking he built an extension on the house. You just heard him down at the gate, yeah, yeah, my wife and I decided we're going to build an extension on the house. And see, she's a wise woman, so she doesn't have to correct him.

She doesn't have to go out in public and show out. Some of you all who don't know yet how to prioritize family and work this thing right, you'd have been down there, he didn't think of nothing. I'm the one. I'm the one that decided to build. I don't know what you down here talking about. Why you have to go there? Let the man have his fun down at the city gate. You got the room built.

That's what you wanted. Thank God for women of nobility, strength, and power. And thank God for women of strong family values.

Well, for decades now, the nuclear family has been under something like a nuclear attack. And today, Satan is attacking marriage and family like never before. For this reason, godly women are invaluable, not only in the life of a family, but in the lives of each individual member of it. So here's to all the mothers and mother figures out there.

Thank you so much for all you do. Well, ministry, like marriage, requires partnership. In fact, partnership has always been essential for every great work of God.

He designed us just for that purpose, for relationship and for partnership, both with him and with one another. Today, Pastor Paul would like to invite you to partner with him as he seeks to share the gospel all over the world. As our way of saying thanks for your partnership, we'll send you a few thank you gifts, including one of Pastor Paul's most popular CDs, The Best of Let My People Smile. Call 855-339-5500 to find out more about how to become a Destined for Victory partner for as little as $20 a month. Or mail your gift letting us know you wish to become our partner.

The address is Destined for Victory, Post Office Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538. You can also become our partner from our website, pastorpaul.net. Now if you can't become a Destined for Victory partner but would like to make a one-time donation today, we'd love to send you Pastor Paul Shepherd's booklet, Traits of a Virtuous Woman. That's Traits of a Virtuous Woman, a booklet from Pastor Paul that goes hand in hand with a message you heard today and our gift to you by request for your generous gift to Destined for Victory. These are days when many are listening to people who are so-called experts but they don't have wisdom because the Bible says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And I want you to know that this Proverbs 31 woman is a woman who's in the process of raising her children well. That is by biblical standards. That's tomorrow in Pastor Paul Shepherd's message in praise of godly women. Until then remember, he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. In Christ, you are destined for victory.