Why Men Need Each Other, Part 1

The role of the church is to call men to their biblical roles as men. Dr. Tony Evans says becoming that kind of leader means becoming a better follower.

That's why you're supposed to be the first one in church to find out what Christ expects of you. Celebrating 40 years of faithfulness, this is the alternative with Dr. Tony Evans, author, speaker, senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, and president of the Urban Alternative. Many churches suffer from a lack of male leadership, even male attendance, but today Dr. Evans talks about how men need each other and explains why what they learn during worship time should change what they do at dinnertime.

Let's join him. Far too many men today have been weakened by misinformation, misdefinition, by abuse, misuse, and neglect, by a media frenzy that has given false definitions of men that no man could ever master, except on television and in the movies. So many who have been prone to violence or other forms of abuse, whether physical or emotional or sexual or whatever, in the name of manhood. The culture needs men. Our families need men. The fatherless generation, 40% now in America, of all children grow up without a father in the home.

The social implications of that are in terms of our prison population, the cost of dealing with crime, social deterioration is all around us, so it's clear that we need them in the home. But it is also clear that we need them in the church, that men are critical in God's kingdom plan. When Satan wanted to make his move, he would always think to get rid of the males. In Pharaoh's Egypt, Pharaoh said, kill all the males so that we can get to this Moses. Herod, kill all the male children so we can get to this so-called king of the Jews.

Get rid of the men or the men-to-be in order to stifle the culture. And what I share today, I'm in no way seeking to reduce, underestimate, undermine, or underappreciate the critical, essential, necessary, important, and potent role that women play in God's economy and in God's kingdom. But neither do I want to neuter the strategic and critical and unique role that men have been called to play in God's kingdom either. Paul wrote his son in the ministry, Timothy, who was, to use our contemporary nomenclature, the senior pastor at Ephesus Bible Fellowship. Paul establishes the church. He positions Timothy there as the pastor, and he makes an overarching statement in 1 Timothy that is to govern everything else that he does.

He says in chapter 3, verses 14 and 15, I am writing these things to you hoping to come to you before long, but in case I am delayed, I write so that you will know how one ought to conduct himself in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and the support of the truth. Paul writes this young pastor, and he says, now I want to write you to tell you how the church is supposed to work. I don't want you to go downtown to get your instructions. I don't want you to go to the marketplace to get your instructions.

I don't want you to go to the various clubs to get your instruction. I am writing you to tell you how the church of the living God is supposed to function. So you ought to get your instructions on the church from the Word of God, which is the ground and pillar of the truth.

One of the things you see, and this is what Paul is alluding to, are these mammoth pillars in Ephesus that were to hold up structures. He says the church is the ground and pillar of the truth. It's supposed to hold up the truth no matter what the culture is saying, no matter what's popular, no matter what's the end thing to do, no matter what is politically correct, no matter what is popular around town, all of that is inconsequential to the truth. And the job of the church is to hold up the truth, not satisfy the culture. The job of the church is to hold up God's standard, not make everybody feel good or not make you popular necessarily. And so we have this issue of men, and it is addressed here and other places, but we will use this as our popular reference point to speak the truth about men in general, but specifically men in the church.

One thing is clear in Scripture. When men relinquish their roles, they have opened the door for the devil. When men relinquish their roles, they open the door for the devil. Isaiah chapter 3 verse 12 says that the nation of Israel was in trouble because it says your women rule you. Men had succumbed, they had become neutered, they had become passive, and of course nature abhors a vacuum. And so the lack of leadership brought women to the forefront so that they became the dominant leadership in the culture.

And he says to them, and therefore your nation is in trouble. Not because women were insignificant or insufficient or not important, but because men had relinquished their roles. Such is the case in the church. The role of the church is to call men to their biblical roles as men, to be reminded from God's definition what a man is, what a man is supposed to be, and what a man ought to seek to become. The job of the church, of course, is to instruct everybody, but particularly men.

There's covenantal reason for that. What we are calling for, what Paul is calling for, what the Word of God is calling for, is for men to reclaim their divinely ordained roles. Not just any role, not just a societal role, not just a secular role, but the church is to reinforce men of their divinely ordained roles. He says in chapter 2 verse 8, therefore I want men to pray in every place lifting up holy hands without wrath and dissension. We know he's talking about males because of the word men and because of the fact he contrasts them with women in verse 9. The first thing that men ought to be doing is leading out in prayer. He's talking about the church here and he says, what I want, what I want is I want men, he says in chapter 2 verse 8, in every place to pray. Most of the time in church when it comes to prayer meeting, they're women. When it comes to sports, there's men. When it comes to prayer, it's women. Because often men will choose contact on a court higher than contact with heaven. The problem is that the court won't solve your life's problems.

It'll just give you a momentary distraction from them, NBA finals and all. He says I want men to take the lead. I want men to step out in front and I want men to pray in every place. Now what is the deal here in the church? He's talking about in the church, the household of faith. The purpose of prayer is to give earthly permission for heavenly interference. It is to give heaven permission to intersect itself in history and he says I want men to draw heaven down to earth in every place.

In other words, I want this to be the norm. Not because women are not to be part of it. He says likewise women. He's not excluding them, but he starts out with men because God always starts out with men.

That's not popular, but the goal is not to be politically correct. God says I am the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. When chaos erupted in the Garden of Eden, Adam, where are you? He always starts with men and he starts with men because you have been divinely ordained to lead. You start with the leader. You have been called to that position.

Now you may be a bad one, but that is the call. He says I want men in every place to call down heaven to earth so that heaven interferes with earth's reality. If men are not leading in prayer, then there is a flaw in the church, just as there's a flaw in the home. There's a flaw and much of what heaven wants to do in history can't be done because certain things are only done by prayer. Certain things God does because he's God and he doesn't, but there are other things God does not do until they are called down. It says Elijah prayed that it might not rain and it did not rain. In other words, earth was affected because his prayer shut down heaven. Then it says he prayed again that it would rain and it gushed forth. And it says Elijah at the end of James 5 was not a superhuman hero.

He wasn't Superman or Iron Man or Captain Marvel. He says he was a man of like nature like ours. He was an ordinary man who knew how to bring heaven down to earth. Dr. Evans will have more to say about men calling down heaven when he continues our message in just a moment, but first I'm excited to tell you about his brand new book, Kingdom Men Rising. It empowers men to be strong and courageous, loving leaders at home, at work, in their church, and in the community. You learn how to reject society's warped image of manhood and replace it with the biblical blueprint God had in mind when he created you.

What becomes of the next generation of men depends on what happens with this one. That's why we want you to receive the Kingdom Men Rising book as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution to help us keep Tony's teaching on this station. As a bonus, we'll also send you all 12 messages in the Kingdom Men Rising series on CD and digital download.

But this limited time offer runs out in a couple more days, so be sure to get in touch with us right away to get the details and make the arrangements. You can do that online at TonyEvans.org. And while you're there, get a copy of the Kingdom Men Rising Bible study so you can dig even deeper on your own and share this important biblical insight with others. Again, that's TonyEvans.org, or reach out to our Resource Center at 1-800-800-3222 any time of the day or night. That's 1-800-800-3222. I'll repeat that information for you right after part two of today's lesson.

Here's Dr. Evans. Far too many men want to give up before they've prayed through. It says, when Elijah prayed, he prayed in the position of a woman having travail.

In other words, a woman in labor pain. In other words, this wasn't just a passing, now I lay me down to sleep, pray the Lord my soul to keep. This was calling heaven down.

Says, I want men in every place. I want this to be the norm that the men in every place pray. Oh, for the day at the church, our church, this church, the men say to the ladies, you stay home, I'm going. Because I need to call down heaven on our situation. I need to call down heaven on our financial problems. I need to call down heaven on the protection of our children.

I need to draw down heaven. Let men in every place pray. Let men call down heaven and intercede on behalf of earth. The church is to equip men, call men to prayer. It's also to call men to pastoring. That is shepherding. In case you didn't know it, mister, you are a shepherd. You're a pastor of a family. Every man here who has a family has been called to pastor. Let me let me show you how serious your pastoral role is. Let me let me read it for you in 1 Corinthians chapter 14. In 1 Corinthians chapter 14, this is what he says in verse 34.

The women are to keep silent in the churches. We'll talk about that in a moment, for they are not permitted to speak, but are to subject themselves, just as the law also says. If they desire to learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is improper for a woman to speak in church. Okay, now I didn't write this, so don't shoot the messenger, but I'm gonna explain it as we go along. He says, if the wife has a question, let him ask her husband at home.

Now that assumes that the husband can answer it. But who are the ones in the Bible studies? Who are the ones listening to learn? Who are the ones reading the text?

Who are the ones leading in devotions? It typically isn't the man. He's got the remote. If your wife is calling my name more than she calling your name, if she's saying what Pastor Evans said instead of saying my pastor said, then I'm too much in your crib. It says, let her ask the husband at home. That means if he doesn't have the answer, he's gonna find it. Sure, you don't have all the answers.

Sure. See, that's why a man comes to church. He comes to church to find out what God has to say so he can transfer it back to his family around the dinner table.

That's why it comes. It was inconceivable in the Bible that a man would send his wife and family to church while he stayed home without good reason. That was an inconceivable thought.

Y'all go. I don't feel like going on the day. That was an inconceivable, because he understood his role as pastor, spiritual leader, that his job was to transfer. So you can't say you don't have anything to talk about, because the reason God gives me a sermon for Sunday is so you can use it for Monday, not just so you can wait till next week, same time, same station. And it says the men are supposed to do that. She should be able to ask your husband at home because you're the shepherd of your house, that you're managing that.

You are owning that responsibility. That's why it says of a leader in chapter 3 verse 5 of 1 Timothy, but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God? In other words, before you make a man a leader, find out how he's doing in his little church, before you appoint him in a leadership role in his big church. Because if he can't manage five people, how can he manage five hundred people? So you have a shepherding role, a spiritual leadership role.

The church is to facilitate that, to help that, to grow that. Now he makes it clear, verse 11, a woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submittiveness. I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.

And it's quiet. He says it is unacceptable. Whatever it means, it's unacceptable. Is he suggesting that women shouldn't sing? Is he suggesting that women shouldn't—can't turn to their neighbor and say something? It's not what he's talking about.

He's talking about the exercise of authority. He's not talking about the use of gifts. Gifts in the Bible are not gender-based. In other words, God gives gifts to every member of his body. He can give a woman a gift of teaching, like neither give a man a gift of teaching.

That's a gift. He's talking about an office, a role. In fact, he says it even more directly, verse 1 of chapter 3, it is a trustworthy statement if any man aspires to the office of an overseer. The Greek word for man there is not mankind.

It's the word for male. Now he goes down and he says, but they can be deaconesses. He says that later on. But he says, in terms of an overseer, he says they should not be able to exercise that authority.

Now why? He's talking about teaching connected to authority, not using of a gift. He's talking about a role. Verse 13, Adam was first created and then Eve. He says this is the creation principle, not a cultural principle. This is a creation principle.

It's got nothing to do with what it was like back then versus what it's like right here. He says this is a creation principle, and that is how creation was ordered. God ordered creation. He made male and female. He gave them both the rule of dominion, but when he worked it out, he worked it out according to an order.

First and then. Why did he create the man first? He created the man first because even though he was not superior to the woman, they are to function as a team, but the team has a leader. 1 Corinthians 11. We've been over this verse, verse 3, before, but let's look at it again. What I want you to understand, verse 3 of 1 Corinthians 11, that Christ is the head of every man. The man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.

So this principle operates in the Trinity. God is the head of Christ. Christ is the head of every man. The man is the head of a woman.

The issue is head. Or let me give it another word, headship. There is a pecking order to how God flows in history, and he flows based on headship. He works through Christ. Christ is over every man. Here's where the first problem is, because far too many Christian men don't have Christ over them.

They want to demand a submission that they refuse to model. They insist, my wife won't submit to me, but who does she see you submitting to so she can see what submission ought to look like? See, she should see the submission you're requiring, because Christ is over every man. That's why you're supposed to be the first one in church to find out what Christ expects of you, because you're submitted to his authority.

You need the church to find out what Christ expects of you as a man so that you can submit to that so that she can model the submission that she's seeing from you. Dr. Tony Evans on the important responsibilities God has placed on man. More about that in just a moment.

Don't go away. As a follower of Christ, you are created and called for greatness, now more than ever before. But most men don't get that.

They don't understand. Instead, they choose to follow the world's definition for how to be an influencer, not gods, and wind up wasting their lives on that which will never last. In his powerful sequel to the bestseller, Kingdom Man, Tony Evans, Kingdom Men Rising, calls men to break free of apathetic faith, to take a stand, do more than just exist. You have been called to rise up and influence those around you, at home and in your communities. As kingdom men, we must point others to the king and his kingdom in order to challenge and change our culture for good. Discover how, when you get the much-anticipated sequel to Kingdom Man, Kingdom Men Rising, and learn the art of intentional impact. The measure of a man's mark is revealed through what he does.

A man's legacy is much more than leaving a name behind. How will you use your God-given gifts for good? Put in the work and experience a life of greatness today. Find out more at TonyEvans.org. Don't forget, if you contact us right away, this powerful book is yours as our thank-you gift when you make a contribution toward the ministry of the Urban Alternative, and we'll send it along with Tony's 12-lesson CD series, also called Kingdom Men Rising. A separate Bible study is available as well. Get yours before time runs out by calling 1-800-800-3222, or visit TonyEvans.org, where you can check out our huge library of resources and sign up for Tony's free weekly email devotional. That's TonyEvans.org.

If you're interested in flying a plane or performing surgery, you'd go to flight school or medical school. But where do men go to learn to be godly men? That's Dr. Evans' subject tomorrow. I hope you'll be with us. The Alternative with Dr. Tony Evans is brought to you by the Urban Alternative and is celebrating 40 years of faithfulness thanks to the generous contributions of listeners like you.