Family Faithfulness | Part 2

Listen to Adrian Rogers as he reveals the convicting truth of our God to carry it out. We're commanded to love. The marriage symbolizes how God loves his church. How should we respond when troubles and trials arise? Is there hope for a broken marriage? If you have your Bible, turn to Matthew chapter 19.

Again, here's Adrian Rogers. Would you take your Bibles and turn to Matthew chapter 19? We're going to be talking about family faithfulness, keeping love alive. You know, there's something very sad in today's world, and what it is is this. We have so many who have what I call just throwaway marriages. It just doesn't work out, and so they just throw it away. As somebody said, they get married as an ideal. And then that ideal turns to an ordeal.

And then they're looking around for a new deal. Well, that's sad. Well, let's see what God's Word has to say. Matthew chapter 19, beginning in verse 1. And it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee and came into the coast of Judea beyond Jordan. And great multitudes followed him, and he healed them. And the Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him. That means testing him and saying unto him, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? It is if she's not attractive or if she cannot cook or if she has mismanaged the finances or if she's irritable.

Can I just put her away? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read... By the way, Jesus expects you to read the Bible, my friend. Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female?

And let me say this. One of the most damning things today that the devil has done is to blur the distinction between male and female. He made them male and female and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain, that is, they too shall be one flesh. Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh, what therefore God hath joined together.

Let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you or allowed you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, that means sexual immorality, and shall marry another committeth adultery, and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Well, I'm going to stop reading right there for a moment. Now, there's three things I want to lay on your heart, and I pray, God, that he will write them indelibly upon your heart. The first thing I want you to understand is that marriage is made by heaven. Marriage is made by heaven.

Look, if you will, in verse 4. Have ye not read that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh. Now, marriage did not come from sociology.

It did not come from the primordial ooze of evolution. Marriage is not some cultural innovation. Marriage is made by heaven.

It is God's plan. Now, if you could take the best carpenter in the world and give him the assignment to build a house, but if that carpenter doesn't know what a house is, there's no way he could build it. No matter how good a carpenter he is, you can take the best people in the world and say, Build a home, but if they don't know what a home and a family is according to God, there's no way possible that they can build it because they have no guide. Now, God gives us the guide here, and in all marriage problems and all marriage counseling, it's all built around three words here, three verbs. Number one is the one leave.

Look at it. For this cause, verse 5, shall a man leave his father and mother, underscore that, and shall cleave, underscore that, and then finally, and they shall be one flesh, and therefore they shall be one flesh, and there it is, leave, cleave, be one. That's what marriage is. You leave and you cleave. Now, when God says you are to leave, listen to me, that speaks of the priority of marriage.

Now, if you're making notes, write that down. Leave speaks of the priority of marriage. Marriage is a romance in which both the hero and the heroine die in the first chapter, and a new person comes into being, and that new person is one flesh. Now, we're to be one flesh physically, and sex is not dirty or impure. It is a wonderful gift of God.

Hollywood has made sex dirty. Sex is a gift of God. When God says thou shall not commit adultery, when God says flee fornication, when God says marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled but adulterers and whoremongers, God will judge, God is not trying to keep us from sex. God is trying to keep sex for us.

It is God's gift, and so God has put some high walls to protect it and to preserve it. It is God's wonderful gift so that a husband and wife can know one another in the most intimate of relationships. As a matter of fact, when husband and wife would have this relationship in the Bible, the Bible would say they knew one another. It's a way of saying I love you that cannot be put into words, and the devil has tried to take this which is so wonderful and beautiful and to trivialize it. What is the purpose of marriage? That we might be one flesh physically.

That we might be one flesh emotionally. Not only should we be sweethearts, we ought to be friends. My best friend is Jesus, and my next best friends still come behind my best friend who's Joyce. Who's Joyce? She's my friend. She is a friend. She is my lover. She is my sweetheart, but she is my friend because we are one flesh physically, we are one flesh emotionally, and we are one flesh spiritually because we love the same Lord.

We're members of the same body, his body. My friend, that's what God wants for marriage is that wonderful unity. And so Jesus says here's what marriage is. Marriage is made in heaven. He gives us the purpose of marriage. He gives to us the very essence of what marriage is.

But now here's the second thing I want you to look at with me today. I want you to see that not only is marriage made by heaven, but marriage can be marred by hell. Marriage may be marred by hell. Look, if you will, in verses one and two. And it came to pass that when Jesus had finished these sayings he departed from Galilee and came to the coast of Judea beyond Jordan, and great multitudes followed him and he healed them. The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him and saying unto him, Is it lawful for man to put away his wife for every cause?

That is just, as I said, we're going to be looking for a new deal. Going down to verse seven. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses, because of the hardness of your heart, suffered you to put away your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, comitteth adultery, and whoso marrieth her, which is put away, doth commit adultery. Now, God desires that marriage be a permanent union. The only reason that Jesus allowed divorce was for immorality, for fornication.

Put in your margin, Matthew 5, verses 31 and 32. Jesus said, It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement. But I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, except are saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery, and whosoever shall marry her, that is, divorce comitteth adultery.

Now, let's look at this very carefully here. Moses permitted divorce. He never commanded divorce. Jesus said, From the beginning it was not so. This is not God's original intent. A marriage may be broken by the continual marital unfaithfulness of one of the partners. The word fornication is the Greek word porneia, and it means sexual impurity. But even when a husband or a wife has been unfaithful and committed adultery, does that mean that a divorce is called for?

No. Reconciliation and forgiveness is called for. To put the family back together in spite of that, to forgive, to restore, to replace, and it can be done. Now, read the book of Hosea. Hosea, the prophet, had a wife whose name was Gomer. She finally became a prostitute.

She got down to the very depths to the dregs. Hosea went and found her, bought her from the slave market, restored her, forgave her, and took her back to be his wife. Now, God does allow divorce for marital infidelity. But even if possible, and sometimes it's not possible, but what we try to do, even when that happens here at the church is to restore that relationship with forgiveness and grace, and it becomes what I call a super glue marriage.

You know what the super glue is? It's stronger where it's put back together than it was before it was broken. That can happen. That can happen. We have so many, however, trivial excuses for divorce in today's world. For example, people say, well, the love has gone out of our marriage. I've actually had men come speak to me and say, I want to divorce my wife. And I say, well, why?

They say, well, I don't love her anymore. He doesn't get a lot of encouragement from me because the Bible says in Ephesians 5, verse 25, husbands love your wives. That's not a suggestion. That's a command. Behind every command of God is the omnipotent power of God to carry it out. Women are to love their husbands. The Bible says in Titus 2, verse 4, that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands. We are commanded to love.

Now, part of the problem is the world's definition of love and our definition of love. Let me ask you guys a question. When you were dating, looking around for a girlfriend, what were you looking for?

You won't kid me. I know what you're looking for. You're looking for a looker. You were looking for somebody that was attractive physically. You might have also been looking for somebody who was cute, somebody who was funny, somebody who had a good sense of humor. That meant they laughed at your jokes. Somebody who was popular, a face and a body.

That's what you were looking for. And your heart began to, you know, boom, boom, boom, boom. And you finally got close to her and finally got in that situation. And you leaned over and you whispered in her ear something like this, I love you. I love you, but you know what you really meant?

Is I want you. The world calls that love. But you see, that kind of love is very conditional. And a person who's loved that way and that way only is going to feel very insecure. Because, I mean, she might, when she's 40, she has what we call a Supreme Court figure.

No appeal. And he, he might have been so handsome, but now he's kind of bald and bulgy. And you think about it. Now, friend, if we love people because of this attractiveness, you know what's going to happen? When the attractiveness changes, that kind of love is conditional love. And that's the reason we have so many people who get divorced because they have an emotional, conditional love. A man loves a woman like he loves her sweet orange.

He takes a plug out, squeezes the juice out of it and says there's nothing else there for me and throws it on the ground like a piece of garbage. He loves because of what he can get out of it. Now, when the Bible says husbands love your wives, it uses another kind of a word for love. It is the word agape. Agape love. That's the kind of love that Christ has for the church. And it is a non-conditional love. Did you know that God loves you unconditionally? And did you know that's the way you love your mate? Unconditionally. You see, if your mate feels that you do not love them unconditionally, you know what's going to happen?

This is why we have so many divorces. The very first thing that's going to be in a person's mind is fear. You know, I've got to perform. I've got to keep the house a certain way. I've got to look a certain way.

I've got to lose a certain number of pounds. I've got to do this, I've got to do that and I may lose her, so there's a fear there. And then when that divorce comes, what happens? Guilt. I didn't live up. I wasn't good enough. I didn't perform enough and so I was not acceptable to my mate and so somehow we feel guilt. And then after a while that guilt turns to what? Anger.

So now wait a minute. He has no right to do this. And that anger says, I was used.

Now I'm discarded. And then that anger turns to bitterness and bitterness is a living hell. And a lot of people have gone through just that kind of a thing because all of that is built on conditional love. The kind of love that the Bible teaches is an unconditional love and when you know that you're loved unconditionally rather than fear, there is peace.

And rather than guilt, there's security. And rather than bitterness, there is joy. We have to learn to love as Jesus loved and that's the reason it takes Christ to make a marriage. Because friend, you don't have that kind of agape love.

That is not a human product. The Bible says the love of God is shed and brought in our hearts by the Holy Ghost. And when we learn to love unconditionally, we don't have to listen to the devil's lies.

We have so many of these lies today. We think that love is some sort of an emotional experience and, well, I love you because you make me feel good. As Gary Smalley said that some people treat marriage like a tick treats a dog.

They only own that dog for what they can get out of it. The problem in marriage is there are two ticks and no dog. We're trying to make somebody else satisfy and meet our needs.

It's basically selfish. Now, there's nothing wrong with romantic love. But friend, romantic love is not enough. Marriage is made in heaven. Marriage may be marred by hell, but marriage is always marked by hope. Now, I want you to see this.

Look at this, if you will. God gives you hope in your home, even if you've been divorced, even if you cannot get remarried or whatever the situation, and I believe there are legitimate times for a person to be remarried. But no matter where you are, whether your home seems to be a living hell, whether you've been deserted, no matter what, listen to me, divorce is not the unpardonable sin.

It is not a dead-end street, and if you've been divorced, you are not a second-class citizen. There's something called the grace of God, and we need to hold that up at this church. Forgiveness is always available. The Bible says in Romans 8, 1, there's no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. The Bible says in 1 John 1, 7, the blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son cleanses us from all sin. The Bible says in Isaiah 1, 18, though your sins be as scarlet, they should be white as snow. I remember reading in the Bible about a woman taken in adultery. Men were saying, stoner. Jesus said, woman, where are your accusers? Isn't anybody accusing you? She said, no, man, Lord.

He said, nor do I. Go and sin no more. I remember reading about the woman at the well. She had had five husbands. She became an evangelist that led the entire city of Samaria to Christ. God used her mightily. God doesn't hold grudges. Let's put this scripture down, 1 Corinthians 6, verses 9 through 11. Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived, neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, that means homosexual, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Put it down big, plain, and straight. If that's your lifestyle, that's the lifestyle you embrace, you need to get saved. You will not inherit the kingdom of God. But now notice verse 11.

I love this. And such were some of you. He did not say, and such are some of you, and such were some of you, but ye are washed, ye are sanctified, you are justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Isn't that wonderful? If you're in Christ Jesus, you're a new creature.

And I don't care what has happened in the past. Marriages that are made in heaven and marred by hell are marked by hope, and He is the God of grace and the God of forgiveness. And there are many wonderful people who have come out of broken homes and broken children, families and heartaches and tears.

Yes, divorce is wrong, and I want to save our kids from it. And so here's a precipice, a cliff, and we don't want them to fall over, so we're going to build a wall up here as high as we can. But down in the valley, we're also going to put an ambulance to help those who have fallen over. We're going to make sure there's gas in it to help us to minister to these people.

Now, I must close, but friend, listen to me. If you are married, you make certain that Christ is the head of your home. If your marriage is not a Christian marriage, give your hearts to Jesus Christ, because the devil is working against it. Number two, if you're married, continue to feed your love day by day. Don't take it for granted. Number three, if you're divorced, ask God for forgiveness if it was your fault.

If you were divorced because of someone else's wrongdoing, forgive in your heart and don't let bitterness carry you away. Next, remember that your godly home can perhaps be the greatest testimony you'll have in this world. And if you're unmarried, I beg you, kids, you marry only in the Lord and build a Christian home. The home is the sweetest place on earth, the nearest place to heaven.

It's the only part of the Garden of Eden that we have left. at the top of the page, lwf.org slash radio. Let us hear from you today. Now, if you'd like to order a copy of today's message in its entirety, call us at 1-877-LOVEGOD. Mention the title Family Faithfulness. This message is also part of the powerful and convicting series, It Takes a Family. For that complete collection, all seven powerful messages, call 1-877-LOVEGOD or go online to lwf.org slash radio.

Or you can write us to order at Love Worth Finding, Box 38600, Memphis, Tennessee 38183. A godly home is the greatest testimony we have in this world. If you're married, make certain that Christ is the head of your home and continue to feed your love day by day. Thanks for studying with us in God's Word and join us next time for more from Adrian Rogers, right here on Love Worth Finding. We often check our Facebook wall to see how listeners like you have been impacted by these timeless messages. One listener wrote, Dr. Rogers was the real deal, a true man of God. I'm grateful for his ministry that impacted the world.

Well, we are in awe that God has continued to use these messages to inspire hope and some pretty dark days. At Love Worth Finding, we believe it's more important now than ever to keep Christ at the center of our homes. That's why when you donate to the ministry right now, we want to thank you by sending our It Takes a Family booklet collection. This bundle features popular booklets such as God's Plan for the Man, It Takes a Family, as well as two brand new booklets, Maximum Mom and Honoring Father and Mother. Request the bundle when you call with a gift at 1-877-LOVEGOD. Or you can give online at lwf.org slash radio. And again, thanks for your generous support of Love Worth Finding.