Surely, Goodness and Mercy

Welcome to Hope for the Caregiver.

I am Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver, and we're so glad that you are with us. More than 65 million Americans right now are serving as a family caregiver. Maybe you're taking care of a child with autism. Maybe you're taking care of somebody with an addiction or alcoholism. Maybe you're taking care of somebody with Alzheimer's.

Whatever the scenario, there's always a caregiver. How are you doing? How are you feeling?

What's going on with you? That is the purpose of the show. I'm bringing you more than 35 years of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not.

Glad to have you a part of the show. Hopeforthecaregiver.com if you want to learn more about what we're doing, if you want to send a comment in, if you want to ask a question, whatever's on your heart and mind, go to Hopeforthecaregiver.com. There's a little form there. Fill it out. It's optional if you want us to call you back, if you want us to call you from the show.

Whatever you want, go to Hopeforthecaregiver.com. Tell us what's on your heart and we will do our best to get back to you probably on the air. That's the way we like to do it. Because if you're going through it, guess what? Somebody else is going through it.

And that's how we get strong is we learn that we're not the only one dealing with these kinds of things and we get stronger together. A couple of things I want to give you an update on. First off, it's been a very challenging couple of weeks for both Gracie and myself as she has endured this very difficult surgery.

It was successful and we've had a few little bumps along the way since then. It's extremely painful for her. It was about a nine-hour surgery and it was her 82nd that I could count and they had to straighten her back up.

She was bent over nearly 45 degrees and so they have intensively reworked her spine so that she could stand up straighter. And she now has the long journey of recovery. She's tough and she's doing well and she's getting the absolute best care that I could ever hope for her to get. But it's just a long, painful journey for her and we would appreciate your continued prayers. She is in the University of Colorado Medical Center in Denver area in Aurora. I had to take a brief hiatus and go back home to Montana to take care of a little bit of business and, you know, make sure everything is okay at the house and so forth.

But back with her again. Due to some of the challenges that we're facing, we're going to do some things a little bit different and I wanted to share some of those things with you. We're going to stay in our same time slot but I probably won't be doing the show live for a while and we'll be doing it pre-recorded about a day or two before it airs. And we talked about this with the network.

We've just got a lot of moving pieces going on with Gracie's journey and so forth. And so we'll still, you know, the show will still be like normal on Saturday mornings at 8 a.m. Eastern. Of course, our affiliates don't carry the show live.

That's always delayed based on where they are in their programming and so forth. But as far as American Family Radio, it normally airs live every Saturday morning. But I'll just pre-record it probably on Thursdays. And if you want to call in, there's a way for you to do that. At HopeForTheCaregiver.com we're going to be doing a lot more interviews and just all kinds of special things we're going to be doing. But it just worked out a little easier for me to do this with all the moving pieces that we have going on in our life right now. And at a moment's notice I'm having to make adjustments with her, you know, travel plans.

I was supposed to do the show, for example, I was going to come back to Montana and do the show for Montana and Southwest canceled my flight from Denver to Montana and pushed me back a day and, you know, that kind of stuff. And so until we kind of get a little bit more solid ground under our feet, so to speak, logistically, we're going to do this with your indulgence and your permission. You'll still be able to be a part of the show through our Facebook page at Hope For The Caregiver, through our website HopeForTheCaregiver.com. You know, however you wish to communicate with us, we want to hear from you.

We're just not going to be doing it in a live format for a season. And I'm sure as caregivers you understand. I mean, being flexible is a big part of our lives as caregivers.

Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape. I don't think that's in scripture, but it sure sounds pretty good, doesn't it? So I think that, uh, you're going to, you're going to enjoy what we're doing. Also, I'm going to bring back an individual that started the program with me many, many years ago when I first started in Nashville at WLAC there on Music Row. And that's John Butler, the Count of Mighty Disco, I call him. And I even came up with my own, we even gave him his own theme song, uh, the one we'd introduce him and you're going to love him a lot. He's really tall. Here's his theme song and it always makes me laugh.

John Butler, the Count of Mighty Disco, and he's so tall. Oh, he just makes me laugh. And so I'm looking forward to him being a part of the show in whatever way we can do. He and I launched this show for about eight or nine years together there in Nashville. And when I moved to Montana, he stayed with me through it, but logistically got a little bit gnarly and now I think I'm going to be able to bring him back. If you hear me talking to someone and they don't talk back, that's John and he'll be a part of the show with us and you'll, you'll enjoy his insights and his sense of humor and, uh, recognize immediately that he really gets this journey that we're on as caregivers.

And it was, uh, um, it was just such a treat to have him for so many years. And so I want to bring him back. So you'll hear me periodically talking to him and you may not hear him just yet, but you'll hear me talking to him. So just want to give you that heads up as well. Still do some music. We're going to do some songs. I'll probably do that in the next block because I'm going to run out of time here on this A block here, but I want to just give you these logistical updates if you don't mind and let you know that, uh, the show has to, you know, be flexible and adapt to the caregiving world that I live in. The difference between me and so many others that have a program for caregivers is that I'm still a caregiver and a pretty, pretty intense caregiving world that I live in. And so I just want you to know how much I appreciate the flexibility of American Family Radio, by the way, speaking of which, um, at the, the stand American Family Associations magazine, the stand, there's an interview of me in that latest issue and you could go out online and see it, or I think they send them out, uh, for free through the mail and so forth. So please be sure to subscribe to them and, and get involved in what they're doing. Uh, you know, I think you'll find the interview very meaningful and those of you follow the show regularly will certainly connect well with it because you, you know what we've built here. We have the largest broadcast platform for family caregivers in the world and you can thank American Family Radio for that and the truth network and some others that carry it.

There's American family that took a chance on me and said, Hey, you know what? We want to do this outreach to this group of people who are often ignored and overlooked, but, and, and terribly underserved. And so I appreciate them.

And then they're spotlighting the program in this month's issue of the stand. So a lot of things going on and I appreciate the prayers, the, the notes, the messages, the texts, the phone calls that I've received from each of you and, and I read them and I do, I really do. And they're very meaningful to me. I get, um, a lot of strength and encouragement from you all doing this. You understand the journey and you are part of our life.

Gracie and I, uh, you, you're our extended family. You understand the journey and I do appreciate it very much. And I would ask for you to continue to lift both of us up in prayer, particularly Gracie, as she is struggling with this. This is a very painful thing for her to have to deal with.

Uh, she will, I believe come through this with a much better quality of life, but she's got a tough road ahead of her and she's no stranger to tough roads. And I'll tell you a little bit more about that as we come back from the break and go to the next segment and so forth. But I want you to know how much I appreciate you. Appreciate this audience very much.

And we're going to have a lot of fun together. Hope for the caregiver.com. This is Peter Rosenberger. This is the program for you as a family caregiver, healthy caregivers, make better caregivers. We'll be right back. Peter Rosenberger.

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People need the Lord. Welcome back to Hope for the Caregiver. This is Peter Rosenberg and this is the program for you as a family caregiver.

We're so glad that you're with us. Hopeforthecaregiver.com is our website and Facebook page is Hope for the Caregiver or Hope for the Caregiver group. And then also on Instagram, I think it's Hope for the Caregiver.

I'm not sure what it is on Instagram. I don't do that very much, but I do the other ones and you can go out and follow along and be a part of what we are doing. I want to step over to the caregiver keyboard for just a minute and I'm going to play an old chorus. It's actually, I'm just going to do the course of a song and, and see if, if you know what it is, we'll talk about it a little bit later, but I just want to just reintroduce this to some and introduce it to others.

And the way it did it, the way it was written, it was, that's the melody, but I don't like doing those. I kind of soften it up a little bit for what I try to do. And I go... And so the way I play that is just to slow it down and just kind of do a little walk down there. I could do it.

I guess I could do that gray stuff. I like doing this. I like doing the walk down.

I like, you know, I don't want to do any of those things. I just love that old hymn, surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days, all the days of my life. I was in the hospital room with Gracie just the other day and she was struggling and I just kind of started singing that softly to her and she harmonized it with me and it kind of helped distract her from the pain and distract her from all the stuff she was dealing with and she just sang that and that's extraordinary to think about what she lives with, what she's suffering and yet she's hanging on to that scripture and I wanted to share something with you. A long time ago, when our son was just a toddler, we got a call from the school and he had fallen off of the playground equipment and busted his chin and we took him to the pediatrician and he was of course terrified, he was only like three and we got it to stop bleeding but it needed stitches and so I held him while they numbed him up a little bit and gave him stitches and I just held him there and he didn't feel the stitches because he was numb but he was terrified and the look in his eyes just tore my heart out, this look of betrayal, why are you doing this to me daddy?

Why are you doing this kind of thing? He didn't have the words to articulate it and didn't have the ability to understand antibiotics or infection or wound care or anything like that and I just kept saying it's okay, it's all right, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, daddy's here, it's gonna be okay, daddy's here, it's gonna be okay and the doctor finished and he looked over at me and he was a great pediatrician, he said, are you okay? And I said, yeah, I think I'll be all right and I hugged him and I just dried his tears.

Well, how are we any different really? When we're going through what is the often long valley of the shadow of death that we walk in as caregivers, how are we any different? But that's what our heavenly father does for us, he doesn't give us the answers that we demand but he does give us the assurance that we need and he gives us the assurance of his presence and his love for us and you go back to Psalm 23, yea, though I want to the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me but the last part of that is surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever and I will feast at the table set for me. That's what that little song says and I wish I could sing it better, when Gracie gets better I'll get her to get on the show with me and sing it but it's a great little chorus and it's a great little chorus to sing in the midst of whatever because it just reminds us that this is not the end of the story, yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death and we as caregivers know what that feels like and dark thoughts grip us as we struggle in those places with that loneliness and isolation and we plead for somebody to tell us what to do, where to go, how to cope, why is this happening and those things often go unanswered and unaddressed and instead we're left to hear the promises of God that says He's with us in this, He's not going to abandon us. We are going to go through these things and there's going to be some very unpleasant stuff that we have to deal with and some of us seem to have a disproportionate sense of it and during this last hospital stay with Gracie I've seen some things and watched and observed some things happen that tear my heart out and then I've seen things that strengthen my faith in ways that are unforgettable. You know I was watching when Gracie was intubated and she was awake for the last several hours of it as she was coming out of that and she hates being intubated. It just it frightens her terribly and it's just it's just awful and I knew this was coming.

I mean they had to do it and they did it for like several days. She was unconscious and sedated for several days following the surgery and you know I knew when she woke up she would just be almost a full-fledged panic and so when she woke up I communicated to her that look just nod your head and I will help you whatever you need. I can understand you. We'll figure this out. Do you need me to move your right arm? Do you need me to do this? You know nod yes or no and I'm just trying to keep her calm and through that through that process just assuring that I'm there. That's all I could do. I couldn't take it out of her. She couldn't take it out of her.

I mean there's nothing we could do and we find ourselves in these moments sometimes when all we can do is just assure that I'm here. At one point I FaceTimed with Johnny Erickson-Tada and I held the phone over Gracie's face. Gracie's flat in the bed which was the first time I've seen her flat in over a decade now that they've straightened out her back and she's flat in the bed. She's intubated. She's just wild eyed struggling with this and I'm holding the phone right over her face so she could see Johnny and Johnny said now Gracie I want to sing to you and I want you to harmonize in your mind with me and she just sang to Gracie and Gracie just just calmed down. She was able just to calm down until they got it out of her and of course when they took the tube out of her mouth the first words she yelled out were thank you Jesus and because she just truly hates that and I was so grateful that Johnny did that for Gracie to just help her calm down but just assure of her presence and most importantly just assure her of God's presence in this that that she's not alone.

She's not abandoned. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days all the days of my life. You know that little hymn? Maybe that's something that you could hang on to today and in moments when it gets pretty bleak just hum that little chorus. I did that with Gracie in the hospital room in the midst of all her distress she just harmonized with me and it was it was beautiful to listen to her sing it and we remind ourselves in those bleak moments of the promises of God which we can hang on to and I never cease to be amazed on how it calms her down in moments of great distress when she is assured of his presence with her.

Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Extraordinary moments we got more to come. Hey I want to tell you something real quick because it really flew all over me. How many of you all use ride shares of any kind Uber and Lyft and so forth? Well I've been using Lyft for years and the morning of Gracie's surgery I left the hotel she's already in the hospital I'm going over there five in the morning there's snow in Denver and the driver did not properly de-ice his car so I opened the car door and part of the strip that was frozen along the whole side of it came off. Well it wasn't my fault I just opened the door and I put the strip back in there and he charged me a hundred and fifty dollars for that and Lyft took it out of my account and I wrote an appeal and said hey what's up with this and they just they wouldn't hear it and all I did was open the guy's door so be aware that that kind of stuff can happen to you if you're out doing stuff back and forth whatever with ride share and if it's frozen and so forth because they'll ding you with it but all I did was open the guy's door it's not my fault that he hadn't de-iced his car or anything else and they just zinged me for a hundred fifty dollars so just kind of buyer beware consumer beware that kind of stuff happens out there and I don't want to see you get dinged with it either and I was I was that was a fine howdy-do on the day Gracie was having a surgery I've been she'd been surgery in nine hours and I get this thing on my phone that said hey you're being charged this too and I'm like come on so I'm just putting that out there for you to let you know nobody likes surprises particularly when we're already dealing with a lot of drama in our life so just kind of be aware of that this is Peter Rosenberg and this is hope for the caregiver hopeforthecaregiver.com Some of you know the remarkable story of Peter's wife Gracie and recently Peter talked to Gracie about all the wonderful things that have emerged from her difficult journey take a listen Gracie when you envision doing a prosthetic limb outreach did you ever think that inmates would help you do that?

Not in a million years. When you go to the facility run by CoreCivic and you see the faces of these inmates that are working on prosthetic limbs that you have helped collect from all over the country that you put out the plea for and they're disassembling you see all these legs like what you have your own prosthetic and arms when you see all this what does that do to you? Makes me cry because I see the smiles on their faces and I know I know what it is to be locked someplace where you can't get out without somebody else allowing you to get out of course being in the hospital so much and so long that these men are so glad that they get to be doing as as one band said something good finally with my hands. Did you know before you became an amputee that parts of prosthetic limbs could be recycled?

No I had no idea you know I thought a peg leg I thought of wooden legs I never thought of titanium and carbon legs and flex feet and sea legs and all that I never thought about that. As you watch these inmates participate in something like this knowing that they're helping other people now walk they're providing the means for these supplies to get over there what does that do to you just on a heart level? I wish I could explain to the world what I see in there and I wish that I could be able to go and say this guy right here he needs to go to Africa with us I never not feel that way out every time you know you always make me have to leave I don't want to leave them I feel like I'm at home with them and I feel like that we have a common bond that I would have never expected that only God could put together. Now that you've had an experience with it what do you think of the faith-based programs that CoreCivic offers? I think they're just absolutely awesome and I think every prison out there should have faith-based programs like this because the return rate of the men that are involved in this particular faith-based program and other ones like it but I know about this one are just an amazingly low rate compared to those who don't have them and I think that that says so much that doesn't have anything to do with me it just has something to do with God using somebody broken to help other broken people. If people want to donate a used prosthetic limbs whether from a loved one who passed away or you know somebody who outgrew them you've donated some of your own for them to do how do they do that? Please go to standingwithhope.com slash recycle standingwithhope.com slash recycle. Thanks Gracie.