How We Get Along, Part 2

The local church is an expression of that which binds the universal church. He goes on, look at verse four, one body, one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all unity.

You hear that one. We don't all have the same personality and particularities, persona, but we have the same purpose and we all follow the same person. One of the most beautiful things about the Christian church is the fact that no matter our backgrounds, histories or cultures, we have become one body. We are brothers and sisters, new creations bound together in unity through the Holy Spirit. So it's imperative that we protect and promote this unity in every local body. Today, Stephen Davey opens up Paul's letter to the Ephesians to share the ingredients, the attitudes and behaviors it takes to maintain genuine unity. Today, we're going to see that the things that unite us and make us one far outweigh anything that could divide us. Welcome to Wisdom for the Heart. Stephen Davey has a lesson for you today called How We Get Along.

Here are the ingredients. The first one you need to mix into the recipe of genuine unity is humility. Look at verse two. With all humility, let's just go ahead and start with the easiest one, right? With all humility, like when Augustine, the great theologian of the late fourth century was asked, what are the three most important principles in a Christian's life and in the church, he said, oh, that's easy. Number one, humility. Number two, humility. Number three, humility. So begin there.

You won't have unity without it. Paul adds next the ingredient of gentleness. You'll notice in the text, gentleness, your translation may render it meekness. When you hear the word meekness, it's translated that way in other passages in the New Testament, you think of kind of a timid wallflower, doormat, perhaps no spine, can't make a decision, meekness, we think of it as weakness. In the New Testament mind, meekness was not weakness.

It was incredible power under control. In fact, the word was used in Paul's day for war horses. These stallions were called meek.

What it meant was that they were trained to respond to the warrior on its back. In fact, Jesus Christ, it's very interesting to hear him describe himself. He described himself, Matthew records for us in chapter 11 in verse 29, he said, I am meek and humble of heart.

I am meek and humble of heart. The meekness of Jesus Christ was demonstrated by the fact that he had all power. He could retaliate. He could get his way.

He could change everything from the weather to someone's response. And he never did. He had all authority to do as he pleased for himself, to suit himself, to make his life more comfortable.

And he never served himself. Jesus Christ is the epitome of power under control. Disunity in the church is frankly, most often tied to the lack of this ingredient, the ensuing determination to dig, heels in and have our way to display some kind of power, some kind of perceived authority or influence.

You want unity? Stir in the ingredients of humility and gentleness. He adds a third ingredient in verse 3, notice, with patience showing forbearance to one another in love.

Now that's another mouthful. In fact, he couples patience with forbearance. Forbearance refers to being patient with other people while being provoked. So you need to notice that Paul here isn't just saying that we're supposed to be patient until we can get out of the parking lot. We're to be patient with other people so long as they're looking at us.

This is, Paul is kind of closing down every loophole. He is saying, be patient but show forbearance, this long suffering with people in love. So when you're not treated like you think you ought to be treated, when people don't respond to you like you think they ought to respond, here's the question. Do you care more about the unity of the church or yourself?

What matters more? Whenever the controversy arises, whenever the confrontation occurs, what matters most? The unity of the church or my own personal feelings? Dwight Pentecost who's now with the Lord, one of my old professors from Dallas Seminary told of a church split that was so serious that each side in the argument, which had long been forgotten, both filed lawsuits in secular courts trying to dispossess the other side from the church property. Basically kicked them out and then keep the property for themselves and they disregarded, of course, the biblical injunction not to take biblical matters or church matters to secular courts. Nonetheless, they did and Dwight Pentecost wrote that in the court proceedings, as they both gave their arguments, it was eventually discovered as they tracked back this conflict to find out that the conflict had actually begun at a church-wide dinner.

And at that dinner, an older well-known member of the church was given a smaller slice of ham than the person next to him. And that started it all. Now it's one thing to show patience toward people with a bad attitude.

That's why he's tying up the loophole, show patience toward people in a spirit of love. And he gets back to the question, what's good for the body? What's good for the church? What's good for the community? Do we care enough to be slighted? Do we care enough to be overlooked? Will we keep our power under control or will we use it to hurt and provoke and respond in anything but love?

Okay, if you're like me, after just going through a couple of these ingredients, you're probably thinking, I got some homework to do, right? I got some stuff I need to address and maybe I ought to really give it some diligence and work harder at it. And I think Paul would agree. In fact, that's what he says next.

Verse three, being diligent to preserve the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. Being diligent, literally making every effort. By the way, that word has the nuance of hurrying. And I kind of like that, don't you? I like to hurry to my own detriment. Make haste, don't miss that light, don't miss the elevator. Tackle. He's using that same idea. With urgency and haste and speed, tackle this issue. Don't miss the fact, by the way here, that nowhere does Paul tell us that we're the ones creating unity.

Would you look again? Don't miss that. He doesn't say we create the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. We don't create unity.

We can't. The Spirit of God creates it. We are just supposed to energetically and passionately and diligently preserve what he has created. Let's work hard at what the Spirit of God has created.

You can translate it. Make haste to guard it. Make haste to maintain it. Make haste to keep it. So to belong to the local church is to make up your mind that you're really not as important as other people. That's part of it.

You're not as important as other people. You're effectively following the commands of the apostle, and we're promising each other that we'll be the kind of person to protect and preserve and promote the unity of the body. Instead of being quick to divide, quick to gossip, quick to take sides, we'll be quick and eager to hasten toward resolution.

So if somebody involves you in the controversy, they just invited somebody who's going to make haste to resolve it. Donald Gray Barnhouse, one of my favorite authors now with the Lord, been there for a number of years, pastor of 10th Presbyterian in Philadelphia, and he included in one of his commentaries a missionary statesman who kind of ransacked the New Testament, and he had collected a list of things that disunify and divide the body and things that unify the body. And he listed them, and I've put them into my notes, and I'm going to read them, and I'm going to read so many of them so quickly you can't write them down. There's 33 of these things that disunify the body.

Just listen. Here we go. This disunifies and divides the body. Self-seeking, a proud spirit, playing God, hypocrisy, failing to appreciate others' gifts, lack of patience, not sympathizing with others who have challenges, evil speaking, assuming without grounds that others are at fault, suspecting the motives of another, a domineering spirit, a rebellious spirit, snobbery, hatred, grumbling, arguing, murmuring, maliciousness, being nosy, I don't know where that is in the Bible, but I guess it's in there somewhere, probably not in mine, greediness, resentment, instability, timidity, spite, laziness, freeloading, lying, slander, jealousy, thinking too highly of oneself, having a critical spirit, encouraging, controversy. Thirty-three ways to chip away at the unity of the body. These are all things mentioned in the New Testament. The same individual went through the New Testament and made a list of activities that unified the church. Here we go.

Willingness to be in subjection to others, considering others better than ourselves, having an understanding spirit, a close walk with Christ, not insisting on our rights, willingness to confess a wrong spirit, sincerity, generosity, hospitality, a sympathetic spirit, trusting others, having expectation in Christ, not in others, joyfulness, prayer, tactful caution, a critical spirit toward one's own self, Christ-centeredness, love in word and action, fair and honest dealing with others, integrity, recognizing your place in the body as the assignment of God, a forgiving spirit, avoiding arguments over confusing issues, refusing any kind of disorderly conduct, conscientiousness, faithfulness, being responsible to perform your service assignment, not misusing authority over others, being willing to follow those in authority over you, a gentle and quiet spirit, humility, using our gifts for one another's benefit, remembering our own mistakes and forgetting the mistakes of others. Whew. Okay, you heard that. You're probably thinking, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops. This is the challenge from the first century to the 21st century. Will we with haste repair these issues? If the spirit creates the unity of the body, will we care to preserve it? We'll obviously need to walk in the spirit. We're obviously going to need to be willing and sensitive for that nudging to turn that way, the nudging that way, go forward, stop. What does that look like here?

I just propped my feet up on my desk and I worked on a list. I think, among other things, and I didn't come with a long one, but what that means is in here, in this body, in this assembly, in this local church, the white collar will associate with the blue collar. The Mexican will get along with the Puerto Rican. The Chinese will serve the Taiwanese. The white man will share in ministry with the black man.

The doctor and the mechanic will share the same hymnal. The homeschooler and the public school teacher will care about each other. The businesswoman will invite a mother of five to share a cup of coffee. The old man will delight in the company of young men. The single adult will encourage and appreciate the marriage conference. The empty nesters will help serve our children. The PHD-er will be taught in his ABF by a guy who dropped out of college. The well-known will love to fellowship with the unknown.

And the list could go on. Paul says, do you want to pursue that by which you should be identified? You're calling and you're walking. A local church demonstrates that which binds, by the way, the universal church. The local church is an expression of that which binds the universal church. He goes on, look at verse four, where one body, one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all unity.

Do you hear that? One, one, one, one. We don't all have the same personality and particularities, persona, but we have the same purpose and we all follow the same person, our Chief Shepherd, who is Jesus Christ. We're not gathered in here because we share the same kinds of lives. We're here because we share in the same life who is Christ. The only way we'll ever maintain this course is to mix these ingredients of our unity with these truths that form our unity and bind us together, one spirit, one hope, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father who is over all of us effectively living in us and through us. So we're surrendered to Christ and that's a daily surrender.

We're sensitive to the nudging of the Spirit of God within us and his clear word and that's daily. Our youngest daughter moved into an apartment some time ago, the last of our four children, and with her went our last dog, Pixie. She wanted to keep Pixie when she moved and we said yes, yes, please, be wonderful. One of the problems with Pixie is that she doesn't bark. She doesn't bark. She howls.

She has this lamenting, piercing howl, like a siren. I didn't miss it, but evidently people in the apartment complex began to complain early on because whenever Charity would go to work, evidently Pixie would howl all day long. So Charity had to start bringing Pixie over to our house before going to work. She tried everything. She did. She really didn't know what to do with Pixie. I suggested death.

I'm teasing. No dogs died in this story, okay? No cats either, unfortunately, but no dogs died. Then she read about this special collar that delivers a light shock when the dog barks. And we were so desperate, we thought, well, maybe we'll do it.

We ordered it and she had the dog in my study, got the collar. It was amazing. It worked. Within two or three minutes, it worked miraculously. It felt the same way.

It's amazing what technology can solve these days. My neighbor, in our neighborhood, I've noticed him over the last six to eight months. I saw, as I drove by, he purchased a golden retriever and beautiful little puppy and, of course, you know, little postage stamp wands, you know, with a golden retriever. And that dog grew. And then the next thing I knew, it was pretty much fully grown and here came those white flags down the street.

You know what I'm talking about? He buried that underground fence and put that collar on his dog. And I could see him out there with a leash, you know, taking that dog up close to that line. And, of course, I knew what was happening. That collar was beginning to beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

And if it got too close or across the line, it would deliver a little shock. The dog would retreat and connect the dots between those white flags and that beeping and pain. It reminded me, as I would drive by, kind of chuckling to myself about, it was about 15 years ago, one of the kids in our neighborhood, one of the little boys in the cul-de-sac there arrived on our porch and rang the doorbell and I answered it and he had in his hands a little basset hound puppy that needed a home.

Now, we already had Patches who would have Pixie. We didn't need another dog. But in a moment of insanity, I said, yes. We named him Murphy and that basset grew like a weed and we knew finally we had to do something and so we went and got the kit and buried that cable in the backyard and put those white flags up and I went out to train Murphy and I'd bring him toward that line and I could hear that collar beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. And a little shock and then he'd retreat and I thought, oh, this dog's going to kind of get it. You can set the shock level at different levels. Of course, I had it on the lowest level.

Now, for Patches, our female, we did the same thing and it worked wonderfully well. For Murphy, he just, he couldn't get it. He couldn't connect the dots between pain and don't do that. And if he saw another dog or an animal or a jogger, I could see him. He'd take off. He'd run toward that line.

I watched him do it time and time again. He'd run. He wouldn't even slow down. He'd just yelp as he crossed over the line. He'd keep running. I'd go after him. I'd get his leash. I'd drag him back over the line.

He'd yelp and I'd get him in the backyard. Nothing worked. I finally decided to set the power at the highest level. It had the same power as an electric chair. In fact, the lights in the neighborhood would dim when Murphy crossed the line, which was regular, a regular occurrence. Didn't make any difference. I finally figured out that Murphy was not dumb. He wasn't dumb. He just didn't care.

He didn't care. He would rather chase what he wanted even if it hurt. You know, all this technology, and I was reminded again with Pixie and her collar, wouldn't it be great if every Christian had a collar? I mean, you get tempted to bark or howl at somebody and then cure it right there. Every member of the church, you join, you get a collar.

Put it on. These are things pastors dream of, okay? Just to let you know. Wouldn't it be great to have a collar that warned you?

You know, you're getting close to the line and it would start to beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, I shouldn't do that. I shouldn't go there. I shouldn't say that.

I shouldn't think that. Wouldn't it be great if we were given something? So whenever we thought of causing pain or discouragement or division, it would start to beep. Paul writes in verse 7, he says this, but to each one of us, grace was given.

We've been given grace according to the measure of Christ's gift. Beloved, we do know better. We do hear the beeping. The Spirit of God, through the grace of God, it isn't that we're dumb. It isn't that we don't connect the dots.

It's just we'd rather chase it. Paul is saying here if you're ever going to have unity in the church body, it's going to take people listening and responding. In fact, go over to verse 29. He kind of summarizes and with this we'll close, but he says in verse 29, let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, that is the building up of another believer, according to the need of the moment. Now note that it may give grace to those who hear. Don't grieve the Holy Spirit. That is, don't ignore his nudging.

Look at verse 31, let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Did you notice that? Put it away. What does that mean? They're doing it. They're doing it.

Put it away. Bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander, malice. Instead, verse 32, be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

That's the measure of his grace to you. And the point includes this, God has given each of us the Spirit of God who indwells us and enough grace, he's lavished it upon us, Paul writes, so that we're able to turn around and give grace to each other. That's the promise. That's our pursuit. We won't perfect it, we're going to pursue it. That we're going to submit in humility to one another, striving for peaceful unity and harmony in the assembly.

May it be. All of us realize that unity in our congregations brings great honor to God. It's a powerful witness to the world when Christians live in love and harmony with each other. Our culture is often divided and torn and interactions are often filled with animosity. As Christians, we should stand out for our unity.

But it's not always easy, is it? I hope that this reminder from God's Word has encouraged and challenged you today. You're listening to Wisdom for the Heart with Stephen Davey. Would you like to hear this lesson again, or maybe share it with a friend who could benefit from hearing it? We've posted it to our website and you can go there and listen, or share the link with a friend.

The website is found at wisdomonline.org. The series we're currently working through is called, Upon This Rock, and today's lesson is entitled, How We Get Along. We'll be continuing through this series all this week as we wrap up this important series on the church. Before this week gets too far away from us, I want to mention a resource that might help you, especially if you're a pastor, elder, deacon, or church leader. Stephen preached this series when the church he pastors was expanding and clarifying its doctrinal statement. We wanted to add the biblical teaching on issues such as abortion, human sexuality, gender relationships, divorce and remarriage, and more. If it would help you or your church to have a copy, call and ask. Stephen's church has given us a few copies of that document and we can send you one if you call us at 866-48-BIBLE. That's 866-482-4253. Call today and then tune in tomorrow for more wisdom for the heart. We'll see you next time. We'll see you next time.